371. 4 Holiday Money Traps to Avoid This Year

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The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for many families, they bring stress, guilt, and a pile of credit card bills come January. In this episode, Brad breaks down the four biggest traps that lead to overspending and stress during the holidays… and how to avoid them without feeling like a Grinch.

Learn how to set boundaries, cut the pressure, and keep your peace (and your wallet) intact this season.

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Episode Transcript

Brad Nelson (00:00):
Hey, so have you ever noticed how the holidays
can feel like this mix of joyand excitement, but also a lot
of stress?
Like you want it to bemeaningful and memorable, but
somehow the pressure, man, itcreeps in the gifts, the
expectations, the shopping, theshoulds.
And before you even realize it,the season starts running you
instead of the other way around.

(00:21):
So today, on this episode,we're going to be talking about
how you can take that pressureoff, slow it down, protect your
peace, protect your financeswhile still enjoying the park of
the holidays that actuallymatter.

Announcer (00:34):
You're listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast with
Brad Nelson.
Brad and his co-hostsexperience the anxiety of living
paycheck to paycheck beforelearning the fundamentals of
financial success.
They are now on a mission toempower regular people to pay
off their debt for good andenjoy happier, less stressful
lives.
Keep listening forinspirational interviews, tips,

(00:56):
tricks, and practical advice togain financial freedom.

Brad Nelson (01:02):
Hey guys, welcome to today's show.
My name is Brad Nelson.
I'm the founder of Debt FreeDad.
I paid off about $45,000 ofdebt.
I've been debt-free now formore than 12 years.
I've also been fortunate tohelp thousands of other people
save and pay off tens ofmillions of dollars with the
work that we do here at DebtFree Dad.
Now, guys, after listening tothis episode, if you are someone
who is ready to take things tothe next level when it comes to

(01:23):
your finances, you want to breakfree from living paycheck to
paycheck.
You want to reduce financialstress.
You want to build your savingsand finally pay off your debt
for good.
But like a lot of people,especially when you're getting
started, you're not sure what todo first.
Well, we've created someincredible free resources here
at Def Free Dad.
We'll be sharing some detailsabout how you can get some of
those later on in today'sepisode.
Now, guys, as I mentioned, theholidays are supposed to feel

(01:46):
warm, joyful, connected.
But for a lot of us, itactually ends up feeling
stressful, rushed, andfinancially overwhelming.
And the pressure doesn'tusually just show up all at
once.
It creeps in slowly from familyexpectations, from wanting to
make memories, from advertising,social media.
And before you know it, you'respending more than you planned

(02:09):
and feeling stressed out aboutit.
Especially if you don't reinthat in, now you're in January,
like freaking out.
How are you going to afford theholidays that you just went
through?
So today we're going to betalking about how to enjoy this
season without overspending,without the guilt, and without
feeling like you're lettinganyone down.
This is about protecting yourpeace and protecting the

(02:29):
progress that you're alreadymaking on your financial
journey.
Now, here's where the pressurereally kind of comes in.
And I feel like there are foursources.
You see, most overspendingduring the holidays doesn't
happen just because the dealsare just so good.
It happens because the pressureis really high.
It makes me think of that song,you know, that under pressure,
you know, that song.
That's what it reminds me ofbecause there is so much

(02:52):
pressure.
And that usually comes fromfour places, in my opinion.
Number one, you have thepressure of family and family
traditions.
A lot of holiday pressure comesfrom we've always done it this
way.
Now, maybe your family buys forevery single person.
Maybe there's a gift exchangeor travel that ends up costing a

(03:14):
lot more money.
Maybe you grew up with certainholiday expectations and now you
feel responsible for having torecreate them.
Tradition can be awesome.
It's great, right?
It's one of the things thatmakes the holidays that much
more exciting, but it can alsobe financially heavy.
If tradition is causing youfinancial stress, anxiety, or
resentment, it's okay to adjustit.

(03:35):
You can keep the meaningwithout having to keep up with
the spending and all thefinancial stress.
The second area of pressure isyour kids and even some of our
partners.
You see, we all want theholidays to feel magical.
We want the smiles, we want thememories, we want the
excitement.
But sometimes that turns intojust one more thing, one more

(03:58):
toy, one more gift, one morelittle upgrade.
And before you know it, thetotal is now hundreds of dollars
more than you ever planned onbuying.
But here's what's true kidsremember the moments, not the
number of presents.
They remember baking cookies,watching movies, they remember
being together.
This is the things that Iremember.
And we had a great Christmaseswhen we were little, thankfully.

(04:20):
But I don't remember all of thepresents.
I remember a few, obviously,but for the most part, I
remember the feeling, especiallythat my mom made around the
holidays and on Christmasmorning.
Not necessarily the price tagsof all of the items.
See, joy and that excitement,it's it's not bought, it is
created in that moment.
Number three, advertising,right?

(04:43):
Man, as this episode airs, it'sgonna be about mid-November.
But a lot of us have alreadystarted seeing the holiday
advertisements popping up wellinto early October, even before
Halloween.
The holiday season is marketingseason full force.
Companies spend millions andmillions of dollars studying our
psychology and our emotionaltriggers, and they use things

(05:05):
like urgency, limited timeoffers, countdown timers, warm
music.
Even in some of the stores,they put the right smells in
there, right?
They have the emotion in all oftheir commercials, all designed
to do what?
To make us feel like we needwhat they're selling or what we
have isn't enough or goodenough.

(05:26):
So if you ever feel like you'rebeing pulled into purchases you
didn't plan, that's not youlacking discipline.
That's the system doing exactlywhat it's been designed to do,
is to get you to spend money youdidn't plan on spending.
The key and the idea behindthis episode is recognizing all
of that pressure and that it'sgoing to be coming.

(05:46):
So you can respond and beprepared instead of reacting.
Number four, social influence,probably one of the hardest ones
out of all four of these.
It's all that social influence,the social media, the perfectly
decorated living rooms thatwe're gonna see, the matching
pajamas, right?
The huge halls of gifts underthe trees, the big family trips,

(06:11):
the look how magical ourholiday is.
Social media posts, right?
You're gonna start seeing someof this stuff.
Even if no one says itdirectly, guys, comparison shows
up for all of us.
And comparison always makes usfeel like we need to do more, or
it makes us feel like we'relacking, we haven't done enough,

(06:32):
we need to put in more money,buy more things.
But remember, you are seeing ahighlight reel.
It's not real life, all right.
And your holiday doesn't needto look like anyone else's to be
meaningful.
And here's the trap in all ofthis: here's the holiday lie
that we absorb.
More equals better, more gifts,more events, more spending,

(06:56):
more things, more effort.
But the memories we care aboutmost didn't come from spending
more money.
And again, think back to yourown childhood holidays.
You probably don't remember theprice of a single gift.
Maybe you do, but not many ofthem, right?
You remember the mood in theroom.
You remember the laughter, themusic, the sense of being
together, right?
Joy doesn't come fromconsumption, it comes from

(07:19):
connection.
So I just want to share acouple of boundary ideas that'll
help you reduce some of thispressure.
These boundaries, they don'trequire confrontation, they
don't require defendingyourself, they're just small and
intentional decisions.
So, boundary number one ispredecide your limits.
You guys know we already talkabout this generally when it
comes to personal finances, butbefore you shop, decide, have a

(07:41):
budget.
What's your total holidayspending going to look like?
What's your gift list looklike?
Who do you have to buy for?
And how many gifts are yougonna be doing?
You see, when you've alreadypredetermined and decided your
limit, you're not negotiatingwith emotion in the moment.
And guys, emotion is stupid.
It will make us do stupidthings, spend on stupid things.
So having a plan going intoholidays is going to be a huge,

(08:02):
huge defense against a lot ofthis pressure that we're gonna
be facing.
Number two is choose whatyou're going to say yes to.
Instead of focusing on whatyou're cutting out, choose what
actually matters to you thisseason.
Maybe it's one reallythoughtful gift.
Maybe it's a family outing,maybe it's a tradition that you
love.
Uh, maybe it's just a slowerholiday season, peaceful

(08:24):
Christmas morning, right?
Maybe it's something relaxing.
Because when you choose youryes, it becomes easier to say no
to everything else, and you canignore all of those other
distractions.
Boundary number three issimplify the gift structure.
A simple framework that a lotof people have used, which I
really, really like, and I Ishould start using this with my

(08:44):
own kids, is I've had a lot ofpeople, especially Roots
members, who create this reallysimple framework for their
gifts, especially when it comesto you know kids or even some
family members, but they'll dolike one meaningful gift, one
useful or practical gift, sosomething that they need, and
then one fun or experience typegift.
Like don't make it a uhmaterial possession, but making
an experience.

(09:05):
Go out and do something, right?
This removes that whole keepadding things to the cart, or
they didn't have enough to opentype mentality.
And then boundary number fouris limit your exposure to the
triggers, guys.
A lot of holiday stress isenvironmental.
So unsubscribe from things likeyour promo emails, turn off

(09:26):
your push notifications on yourphone, unfollow or mute any
social media accounts that makeyou feel behind or entice you to
spend money.
Just limit as many of thosedistractions as you can because
when you reduce what you see,you reduce what you feel
pressured to buy.
Let's talk about another bigone: defending against
advertising and social mediapressure.
Now, here's just a fewgrounding questions to use

(09:49):
before buying anything thisseason.
Is this aligned with mypriorities?
Am I buying this item out ofexcitement or am I buying it
because I feel pressure?
Do I already have somethingthat does this job, or do I
already have something that Icould use to fulfill whatever

(10:09):
this purchase is needed for?
The other big question, too, isbecause like I said, January
creeps up, then all of a suddenyou're facing all those
decisions that you made inDecember.
Is will this purchase stillmatter in 30 days?
If the answer is no, you guys,just walk away.
Even a 10-second pause canbreak the emotional spending

(10:30):
pattern.
Heck, we teach the 24-hourrule.
Now, again, I get it whenyou're in the season, 24 hours
seems like a long time,especially when they're
advertising these deals andthese sales.
It's limited time, right?
You got to make your decisionnow.
But man, just give yourself alittle bit of time.
Let that emotion die down andreally figure out if this is
something that you really needor if you or you're buying it
out of that emotion.
So you do not owe a debt toanyone in exchange for holiday

(10:55):
joy.
All right.
You don't have to match anyoneelse's spending.
You don't have to proveanything through gifts or
activities.

Here's the reality (11:02):
presence is greater than perfection.
Connection is greater thanconsumption.
And your peace, especially lessfinancial stress, is greater
than the pressure that we're allgoing to be facing here during
the holiday shopping season.
So choose what matters to you.
Protect your energy, protectyour progress, protect your
financial goals.
And you can still enjoy thisseason the way that feels good

(11:24):
to you.
All right, guys, if you'reready to break free from living
paycheck to paycheck, you wantto reduce financial stress, you
want to build your savings andfinally pay off your dad for
good, but maybe you're not surewhere to get started.
Don't worry.
We've got you covered.
Simplify My Money is sent toyou each and every Sunday
through your email.
It is your step-by-step roadmapto a better financial control.

(11:45):
You're also going to learn someeasy to follow strategies that
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It's also going to help youmake stress-free money
decisions.
And these decisions are goingto help you simplify your
financial life with proven tipsthat actually work.
And you're going to gain thetools and the confidence to
tackle your financial goals headon.
You can sign up for Simplify MyMoney by clicking the link at
the top of the show notes.
Thanks for joining us ontoday's show, and we will see

(12:08):
you guys on the next episode.

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(12:36):
Catch you next week.