September 1, 2022 • 16 mins
This week on The Divorced Dad Diaries, I am reflecting on the past 6 years while cleaning & sweeping my old place, getting ready to move into my new apartment and start a new chapter in my life. A lot of emotions and harder than I thought to let go, but definitely time to move on, and looking forward to what is to come.
Please feel free to reach me at TheDivorcedDadDiaries@gmail.com for any comments, or questions or to share your stories!
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You can also visit www.TheDivorcedDadDiaries.com for more!
All the best to you all, and stay safe!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hello everyone and welcome to the divorce,
that diaries and I'm your host,
Stephane.
I hope everybody is doing well and I'm really happy to be back.
First of all,
(00:25):
I would have to apologize for the last couple of months for this radio silence on my side to be honest with you.
I was,
I was very surprised when I posted my last episode.
I know it's been a while since I posted an episode,
but maybe a couple of weeks and I went back on apple podcast and I realized that it was like probably 2.5 months,
(00:46):
so a lot longer than I thought it would be and it wasn't on purpose.
I was thinking about you all and thinking about different topics and things I wanted to talk about.
But I guess this summer has been very busy.
As I mentioned,
my last episode basically got a new job months ago.
I traveled to europe to paris for some training and meeting the local team,
(01:09):
which was really,
really good.
And then came back here not long after went on a family vacation through europe,
which was wonderful.
I mean we basically visited a bunch of countries,
went to spain and went to a bit of France,
the basque country's as well and discovered a new country I didn't know much about Andorra,
(01:32):
which I completely fell in love with.
So that was really amazing.
And yeah,
visited a bit around Europe for about 10 days and then came back home and had to get ready for my move because as I mentioned also I was moving and I got a new apartment over here.
So I was moving from my old new apartment and luckily enough,
(01:55):
I was smart enough to kind of have a month overlap between my old lease and my new lease.
So I had a month that I could use to,
I would say take my time,
but at least do everything a bit more slowly and you know,
kind of spread out throughout the month.
So that was great.
So when I came back a couple of weeks after I did the big move with all the big furniture and then basically what I did is move the boxes here and there to the new place.
(02:23):
So that was actually um,
I would say a lot of fun because I think on top of things I really don't enjoy and I would almost say things I hate,
it's actually moving.
And also,
I don't know if any people love moving.
That's always a question I ask myself.
But anyways definitely on my case,
so I don't like moving.
(02:44):
And just the fact of spending all this time packing and after that,
having to move out this and just unpacking the same stuff that you packed like,
you know,
weeks or a couple of months before I find it's kind of a waste of time.
But anyways,
I could have also hired movers,
Which I did and that's another story.
So finally I ended up moving my apartment with my nephew,
(03:07):
my son and my dad.
So we moved all this during that time when it was a good nice 35°C outside.
So it was quite hot and humid,
but we did it,
so that's great.
So right now I'm talking to you from my new apartment and new condo,
pretty much brand new and my new office actually.
(03:28):
So I have now a nice little quiet office,
very quiet and still unpacking,
there's still boxes and things around.
I'm trying to make it the way I want it.
So I've been working on that the past week,
but I told myself,
you know what,
I think it's time for another episode and this episode is basically um I mean it wasn't planned,
(03:50):
but it's something that happened when I decided to move from my old to my new apartment and actually I was there last week,
I think that's last week and I moved and I was actually sweeping and you know,
everything was pretty much moved out.
I was there just leaning up and sweeping and kind of looking forward to come to close this chapter and start a new one in the new apartment.
(04:15):
And I got a text from a friend that was saying,
you know what,
how do you feel about leaving this place?
And funny enough,
I mean I was at that apartment for six years and it didn't even cross my mind during that time,
I didn't even kind of stopped,
it was so busy with a million things,
I don't even basically stopped to think about that,
(04:36):
which is quite interesting because the moment I got the text I just stopped sweeping.
I remember and I just thought like wow,
it's true,
I mean it's been six years and this is almost pretty much if I think about it,
it's the first apartment I got when I separated,
so when I moved out from my home that kind of came back to me and I kind of went back in time to the first time I saw this place and we had visited a bunch of places I brought the kids to and we had just talked about separation probably just a couple of weeks before,
(05:11):
a month before something like that and I was living in a basement at the time,
but I guess we had a discussion and my ex wife didn't think it was a good idea,
shouldn't feel comfortable.
So I started looking for a new place and when I first saw that apartment,
I just fell in love with it,
it was big,
it was pretty much all that I was looking for and uh a nice area too.
(05:34):
And so so it was nice and the kids loved it too,
so that was very important,
that's why I wasn't sure it was a bit,
you know expensive and at the time while the house and everything else,
I was still paying pretty much everything and at the same time I was renting,
I was thinking of renting this new apartment which was pretty much under the mortgage that would pay on.
(05:55):
So that was a big,
big thing and a big move.
But yeah,
I kind of made the jump and did that at that time.
A lot of memories in that apartment,
bad ones,
good ones.
When I moved in there,
my kids were still going 50 50 there and that's the first time I ended up by myself in the apartment I remember and the first time being alone and kind of wondering,
(06:19):
okay,
what what do I do now when I don't have my kids right soon after my son decided to live full time with me.
So I didn't last too long.
But still it was kind of the first place there and I mean that's where basically everything kind of went downhill and I mentioned in my other podcasts for those who followed me since the beginning about walking and just being in that space a little bit,
(06:44):
which kind of saved me.
That was that apartment I would go down and actually walk to my Starbucks and come back.
So I did that trek.
I don't know how many times,
but definitely in that six years,
the first years I did it many many times.
So that's one thing I would I would also miss and the people had that Starbucks to who were almost became family now because I was going there so often.
(07:08):
So there was some bad memories there.
Remember having some calls to the park just downstairs from my ex wife saying that you know,
she would try to get their kids full time and and after that kind of struggling because I said money wise,
like I mentioned before,
so kind of struggling and make everything work out,
(07:28):
but at the same time it was my new place,
I remember being so proud to live there and I loved the place and had some friends over and last time I had my place it was when I was at university.
So for me it was something completely new,
but it was great.
It was you know what I could do whatever I wanted,
I could put things wherever I wanted,
I could make noise,
(07:49):
I could whatever,
you know,
it was my place now and I could decorate it the way I wanted to as well.
So that was that was actually very great.
So a lot of good memories,
my first christmas there and after that I got my new job,
my office working from home in that apartment,
christmases,
birthdays and you know,
happy memories with the kids even during the winter we have like just beside an ice rink that was built every winter was pretty big.
(08:17):
So we would go skating there,
it was a lot of memories and I was sweeping at that time and like you know what,
I started having a few tears going on my cheek to be honest with you because we had some good times and now definitely as much as I was looking forward to move to my new place here,
I would miss it and I went in every room and spent a few minutes there and just to kind of think about memories for every room that apartment served me very well and helped me in some crazy way,
(08:49):
helped me become the person I am now and learning to live with the kids and just enjoy ourselves in that new life.
One thing it made me realize is that I actually enjoy being by myself and you know,
having my space and decorating and doing things my way and just having a place called home.
(09:14):
I mean don't get me wrong,
I actually miss still to this day,
I miss my old house.
It was a beautiful house and I was happy when we bought it and it was,
I would say pretty much everything I was looking for in a house,
so even the outside the backyard,
everything else.
So that was great.
But I realized that you know what I was missing it at the beginning,
(09:37):
but once I was in the apartment,
it was basically becoming my place and I really,
really enjoyed that.
I guess I'm talking about when I was sweeping and kind of having that closure with the department.
And also it's funny because I would say,
I I mean it was kind of a closure or like I said,
it's kind of going full circle and everything when,
(09:59):
when the place was empty as it was at the beginning,
but at the same time,
you know,
I felt like it was it was time and I know a lot of memories came back,
a lot of feelings came back,
but definitely I felt that it was the right decision and the right time to move on.
So as much as it was sad to let that old apartment go,
(10:22):
I was definitely happy to get this new place.
So,
what happened after that?
Well,
again,
I moved in here and as I said,
to be honest with you,
I really didn't spend much time thinking about the old place.
I'm enjoying this place.
It's more cozy,
I guess it's more open concept and I love that because also,
(10:44):
you know,
when the kids are here and everything else I find is I can see everybody and it's more central and and we're kind of more altogether,
which which I love.
And even my daughter,
as I said,
my daughter returned actually 20,
a couple of days ago now she's spending even more time here because she has a nice room and she's enjoying it.
I don't know how long it will last because she,
(11:05):
like I mentioned in many podcasts,
she's spending a lot of time at her boyfriend's place,
but for now I think she's enjoying the new place and really liking that,
having a big,
huge nice kitchen as well to cook and everything else.
So to be honest,
having um regretted the last apartment.
And funny enough,
the divorce definitely was,
(11:25):
it was tough and I wouldn't say the old place would remind me of that.
But what I love about this new place is it's a new start and we're coming in happy and looking forward to move in and you know,
again,
another chance to decorate the way we want and it's a different feeling,
I guess.
So the first time I got the apartment,
(11:47):
it was more because I guess I didn't really have a choice,
needed a place to live and uh,
found that place,
but now it's more a decision to,
to move and and get something better and I feel here it's I don't know,
it's kind of weird to say or might sound a bit weird,
but yeah,
it's almost like this place now again,
(12:08):
a new beginning and there's nothing related to divorce or to what happened before really.
It's a place where we start on a positive note and just make it better and make it our way.
So I love that for that and I'm really thankful,
really thankful that I could move and actually very thankful I found this place as well and about the kids.
(12:31):
I think they were ready to move.
Funny enough,
I think there's probably had more feelings than me and more thought about it than me but they were differently,
happy to be moving to a new place and having new areas around here to visit and to to have a new place called home as well.
The only regret is that it's an apartment I'm still leasing and I think the kids would have loved to have and even me a permanent place,
(12:55):
you know buy a place that could call basically home.
But as I discussed in my previous episode,
buying a place wasn't really possible at the moment and decided to you know what spoil myself and spoil ourselves.
So got a new condo here which we could enjoy.
I think that's that's something hopefully that you guys would find useful.
(13:20):
I can understand people when we go through the divorce and basically have to find a place and you miss your house and you miss everything about it and maybe it's not the best time and it's not what you want and maybe too small too this too that you know there's often probably a lot of struggles during that time.
But my experience now moving to a second place,
(13:44):
it's a completely different feeling which I love.
I hope that some of you,
you know one day we'll have that feeling of having a new place a new beginning and starting on a positive note instead of having to bring all that baggage to a place and with your kids and everything else.
So again,
I don't know if it makes sense but I thought,
(14:05):
you know when I got those feelings I thought that would be something great to share with you all and maybe some of you experience the same thing as well or maybe not.
But just to let everybody know that at least I think there's there's hope after all,
it's not easy at the beginning,
definitely not.
And I see it from some of the emails I get from you guys and thank you again for sharing with me and hopefully I can at least something I don't do much but at least read or listen and give some advice if I can or at least based on my experience that at least like I said,
(14:39):
things are good and going better and better and I really hope the same happens to you all out there.
That's all I had for this episode.
Just talking about moving out,
moving in and moving on.
If any of you have any comments or questions as always,
please feel free to send me an email at the divorce dot diaries at gmail dot com.
(15:03):
Or you can go on my website as well at www dot the divorce dot diaries dot com.
I'm also on instagram and facebook twitter.
If you want to reach out,
please do the best way.
Like I said probably sending emails so please don't hesitate on that.
I basically answer all of them in a couple of weeks I'll be going to podcast movement,
(15:24):
which is one of the biggest,
if not the biggest podcast event during the year.
The past couple I used to go the past couple of years.
I haven't gone because because of covid,
but this year I'm planning to be there and part of it.
So if any of you all are there,
if any of you have a podcast or if you plan to go there,
(15:44):
please let me know and maybe you can meet.
That would be great.
And I'll try to record an episode while I'm there too.
It seems to be the in thing to do.
So until then,
um,
back their recording.
So hopefully I'll get back into a schedule and now that every,
all the craziness is over.
So um,
feel free to reach out if there's any subject to anything you want to talk about,
(16:06):
I'm always open for that.
If not,
I guess will basically connect later.
I hope everybody has a good week and take care and be safe.
Bye bye.
Hello everyone and welcome to the divorce,
that diaries and I'm your host,
Stephane.
I hope everybody is doing well and I'm really happy to be back.
First of all,
(00:25):
I would have to apologize for the last couple of months for this radio silence on my side to be honest with you.
I was,
I was very surprised when I posted my last episode.
I know it's been a while since I posted an episode,
but maybe a couple of weeks and I went back on apple podcast and I realized that it was like probably 2.5 months,
(00:46):
so a lot longer than I thought it would be and it wasn't on purpose.
I was thinking about you all and thinking about different topics and things I wanted to talk about.
But I guess this summer has been very busy.
As I mentioned,
my last episode basically got a new job months ago.
I traveled to europe to paris for some training and meeting the local team,
(01:09):
which was really,
really good.
And then came back here not long after went on a family vacation through europe,
which was wonderful.
I mean we basically visited a bunch of countries,
went to spain and went to a bit of France,
the basque country's as well and discovered a new country I didn't know much about Andorra,
(01:32):
which I completely fell in love with.
So that was really amazing.
And yeah,
visited a bit around Europe for about 10 days and then came back home and had to get ready for my move because as I mentioned also I was moving and I got a new apartment over here.
So I was moving from my old new apartment and luckily enough,
(01:55):
I was smart enough to kind of have a month overlap between my old lease and my new lease.
So I had a month that I could use to,
I would say take my time,
but at least do everything a bit more slowly and you know,
kind of spread out throughout the month.
So that was great.
So when I came back a couple of weeks after I did the big move with all the big furniture and then basically what I did is move the boxes here and there to the new place.
(02:23):
So that was actually um,
I would say a lot of fun because I think on top of things I really don't enjoy and I would almost say things I hate,
it's actually moving.
And also,
I don't know if any people love moving.
That's always a question I ask myself.
But anyways definitely on my case,
so I don't like moving.
(02:44):
And just the fact of spending all this time packing and after that,
having to move out this and just unpacking the same stuff that you packed like,
you know,
weeks or a couple of months before I find it's kind of a waste of time.
But anyways,
I could have also hired movers,
Which I did and that's another story.
So finally I ended up moving my apartment with my nephew,
(03:07):
my son and my dad.
So we moved all this during that time when it was a good nice 35°C outside.
So it was quite hot and humid,
but we did it,
so that's great.
So right now I'm talking to you from my new apartment and new condo,
pretty much brand new and my new office actually.
(03:28):
So I have now a nice little quiet office,
very quiet and still unpacking,
there's still boxes and things around.
I'm trying to make it the way I want it.
So I've been working on that the past week,
but I told myself,
you know what,
I think it's time for another episode and this episode is basically um I mean it wasn't planned,
(03:50):
but it's something that happened when I decided to move from my old to my new apartment and actually I was there last week,
I think that's last week and I moved and I was actually sweeping and you know,
everything was pretty much moved out.
I was there just leaning up and sweeping and kind of looking forward to come to close this chapter and start a new one in the new apartment.
(04:15):
And I got a text from a friend that was saying,
you know what,
how do you feel about leaving this place?
And funny enough,
I mean I was at that apartment for six years and it didn't even cross my mind during that time,
I didn't even kind of stopped,
it was so busy with a million things,
I don't even basically stopped to think about that,
(04:36):
which is quite interesting because the moment I got the text I just stopped sweeping.
I remember and I just thought like wow,
it's true,
I mean it's been six years and this is almost pretty much if I think about it,
it's the first apartment I got when I separated,
so when I moved out from my home that kind of came back to me and I kind of went back in time to the first time I saw this place and we had visited a bunch of places I brought the kids to and we had just talked about separation probably just a couple of weeks before,
(05:11):
a month before something like that and I was living in a basement at the time,
but I guess we had a discussion and my ex wife didn't think it was a good idea,
shouldn't feel comfortable.
So I started looking for a new place and when I first saw that apartment,
I just fell in love with it,
it was big,
it was pretty much all that I was looking for and uh a nice area too.
(05:34):
And so so it was nice and the kids loved it too,
so that was very important,
that's why I wasn't sure it was a bit,
you know expensive and at the time while the house and everything else,
I was still paying pretty much everything and at the same time I was renting,
I was thinking of renting this new apartment which was pretty much under the mortgage that would pay on.
(05:55):
So that was a big,
big thing and a big move.
But yeah,
I kind of made the jump and did that at that time.
A lot of memories in that apartment,
bad ones,
good ones.
When I moved in there,
my kids were still going 50 50 there and that's the first time I ended up by myself in the apartment I remember and the first time being alone and kind of wondering,
(06:19):
okay,
what what do I do now when I don't have my kids right soon after my son decided to live full time with me.
So I didn't last too long.
But still it was kind of the first place there and I mean that's where basically everything kind of went downhill and I mentioned in my other podcasts for those who followed me since the beginning about walking and just being in that space a little bit,
(06:44):
which kind of saved me.
That was that apartment I would go down and actually walk to my Starbucks and come back.
So I did that trek.
I don't know how many times,
but definitely in that six years,
the first years I did it many many times.
So that's one thing I would I would also miss and the people had that Starbucks to who were almost became family now because I was going there so often.
(07:08):
So there was some bad memories there.
Remember having some calls to the park just downstairs from my ex wife saying that you know,
she would try to get their kids full time and and after that kind of struggling because I said money wise,
like I mentioned before,
so kind of struggling and make everything work out,
(07:28):
but at the same time it was my new place,
I remember being so proud to live there and I loved the place and had some friends over and last time I had my place it was when I was at university.
So for me it was something completely new,
but it was great.
It was you know what I could do whatever I wanted,
I could put things wherever I wanted,
I could make noise,
(07:49):
I could whatever,
you know,
it was my place now and I could decorate it the way I wanted to as well.
So that was that was actually very great.
So a lot of good memories,
my first christmas there and after that I got my new job,
my office working from home in that apartment,
christmases,
birthdays and you know,
happy memories with the kids even during the winter we have like just beside an ice rink that was built every winter was pretty big.
(08:17):
So we would go skating there,
it was a lot of memories and I was sweeping at that time and like you know what,
I started having a few tears going on my cheek to be honest with you because we had some good times and now definitely as much as I was looking forward to move to my new place here,
I would miss it and I went in every room and spent a few minutes there and just to kind of think about memories for every room that apartment served me very well and helped me in some crazy way,
(08:49):
helped me become the person I am now and learning to live with the kids and just enjoy ourselves in that new life.
One thing it made me realize is that I actually enjoy being by myself and you know,
having my space and decorating and doing things my way and just having a place called home.
(09:14):
I mean don't get me wrong,
I actually miss still to this day,
I miss my old house.
It was a beautiful house and I was happy when we bought it and it was,
I would say pretty much everything I was looking for in a house,
so even the outside the backyard,
everything else.
So that was great.
But I realized that you know what I was missing it at the beginning,
(09:37):
but once I was in the apartment,
it was basically becoming my place and I really,
really enjoyed that.
I guess I'm talking about when I was sweeping and kind of having that closure with the department.
And also it's funny because I would say,
I I mean it was kind of a closure or like I said,
it's kind of going full circle and everything when,
(09:59):
when the place was empty as it was at the beginning,
but at the same time,
you know,
I felt like it was it was time and I know a lot of memories came back,
a lot of feelings came back,
but definitely I felt that it was the right decision and the right time to move on.
So as much as it was sad to let that old apartment go,
(10:22):
I was definitely happy to get this new place.
So,
what happened after that?
Well,
again,
I moved in here and as I said,
to be honest with you,
I really didn't spend much time thinking about the old place.
I'm enjoying this place.
It's more cozy,
I guess it's more open concept and I love that because also,
(10:44):
you know,
when the kids are here and everything else I find is I can see everybody and it's more central and and we're kind of more altogether,
which which I love.
And even my daughter,
as I said,
my daughter returned actually 20,
a couple of days ago now she's spending even more time here because she has a nice room and she's enjoying it.
I don't know how long it will last because she,
(11:05):
like I mentioned in many podcasts,
she's spending a lot of time at her boyfriend's place,
but for now I think she's enjoying the new place and really liking that,
having a big,
huge nice kitchen as well to cook and everything else.
So to be honest,
having um regretted the last apartment.
And funny enough,
the divorce definitely was,
(11:25):
it was tough and I wouldn't say the old place would remind me of that.
But what I love about this new place is it's a new start and we're coming in happy and looking forward to move in and you know,
again,
another chance to decorate the way we want and it's a different feeling,
I guess.
So the first time I got the apartment,
(11:47):
it was more because I guess I didn't really have a choice,
needed a place to live and uh,
found that place,
but now it's more a decision to,
to move and and get something better and I feel here it's I don't know,
it's kind of weird to say or might sound a bit weird,
but yeah,
it's almost like this place now again,
(12:08):
a new beginning and there's nothing related to divorce or to what happened before really.
It's a place where we start on a positive note and just make it better and make it our way.
So I love that for that and I'm really thankful,
really thankful that I could move and actually very thankful I found this place as well and about the kids.
(12:31):
I think they were ready to move.
Funny enough,
I think there's probably had more feelings than me and more thought about it than me but they were differently,
happy to be moving to a new place and having new areas around here to visit and to to have a new place called home as well.
The only regret is that it's an apartment I'm still leasing and I think the kids would have loved to have and even me a permanent place,
(12:55):
you know buy a place that could call basically home.
But as I discussed in my previous episode,
buying a place wasn't really possible at the moment and decided to you know what spoil myself and spoil ourselves.
So got a new condo here which we could enjoy.
I think that's that's something hopefully that you guys would find useful.
(13:20):
I can understand people when we go through the divorce and basically have to find a place and you miss your house and you miss everything about it and maybe it's not the best time and it's not what you want and maybe too small too this too that you know there's often probably a lot of struggles during that time.
But my experience now moving to a second place,
(13:44):
it's a completely different feeling which I love.
I hope that some of you,
you know one day we'll have that feeling of having a new place a new beginning and starting on a positive note instead of having to bring all that baggage to a place and with your kids and everything else.
So again,
I don't know if it makes sense but I thought,
(14:05):
you know when I got those feelings I thought that would be something great to share with you all and maybe some of you experience the same thing as well or maybe not.
But just to let everybody know that at least I think there's there's hope after all,
it's not easy at the beginning,
definitely not.
And I see it from some of the emails I get from you guys and thank you again for sharing with me and hopefully I can at least something I don't do much but at least read or listen and give some advice if I can or at least based on my experience that at least like I said,
(14:39):
things are good and going better and better and I really hope the same happens to you all out there.
That's all I had for this episode.
Just talking about moving out,
moving in and moving on.
If any of you have any comments or questions as always,
please feel free to send me an email at the divorce dot diaries at gmail dot com.
(15:03):
Or you can go on my website as well at www dot the divorce dot diaries dot com.
I'm also on instagram and facebook twitter.
If you want to reach out,
please do the best way.
Like I said probably sending emails so please don't hesitate on that.
I basically answer all of them in a couple of weeks I'll be going to podcast movement,
(15:24):
which is one of the biggest,
if not the biggest podcast event during the year.
The past couple I used to go the past couple of years.
I haven't gone because because of covid,
but this year I'm planning to be there and part of it.
So if any of you all are there,
if any of you have a podcast or if you plan to go there,
(15:44):
please let me know and maybe you can meet.
That would be great.
And I'll try to record an episode while I'm there too.
It seems to be the in thing to do.
So until then,
um,
back their recording.
So hopefully I'll get back into a schedule and now that every,
all the craziness is over.
So um,
feel free to reach out if there's any subject to anything you want to talk about,
(16:06):
I'm always open for that.
If not,
I guess will basically connect later.
I hope everybody has a good week and take care and be safe.
Bye bye.
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