October 20, 2025 • 35 mins
Divorce can flip your financial world overnight, and the hardest part is often not knowing where to start. We walk through a simple, repeatable system to rebuild from the ground up—so you can stop guessing, start planning, and lead your family with calm and confidence.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
Hello and welcome to the show.
I sincerely appreciate youtuning in and listening this
week.
Our topic is rebuilding yourfinances from scratch.
Something that if you arecontemplating going through or
post-divorce, I'm sure that youcan all appreciate.
But before we jump into thetopic and get into specifics,
(01:27):
let's welcome Nate and Devon tothe Divorced Advocate community.
If you have not checked out thecommunity yet, go to
thedivorcedavicate.com.
We've got re resources for youwherever you're at in your
divorce journey.
And we've got resources that arefree to paid resources.
(01:47):
So whatever you need, whereveryou're at, we have something for
you.
Check out the event page too,fellas.
We've got a ton of stuff goingon that are free resources, QA's
every single month.
I know the holidays are comingup.
That can be a very challengingtime, no matter where you're at
in your divorce, even if it'sbeen a while and you are
(02:09):
post-divorce, but we've got allkinds of support there.
So jump on one of the calls, getuh get in and around guys that
uh know what you've got going onand can support you.
Check it out all atthedivorceddavicate.com.
All right, the the single dadsbudget.
That's what we're gonna talkabout.
(02:29):
And divorce is tough for singledads.
Often the the financial part ofit feels like kind of like a
reset button, if you will,without really even knowing
where everything's gonna go andhow everything's gonna
transpire.
Child support, new livingarrangements, the uh the
emotional toll, it justoftentimes feels like our
(02:51):
financial uh you know ourfinances are in a a mess or
really in just a flux, right?
Um but it doesn't have todoesn't have to be that way, and
it doesn't have to stay thatway, guys.
Rebuilding your your financialfoundation is possible.
And this is what we're gonnatalk about.
We're gonna talk about six stepsand we're gonna walk you through
(03:12):
those step by step.
And I do want to say thatwherever you're at in listening
to this, even if you're just ifyou're if you're contemplating
divorce and you're listening tothis, it's very, very important
because I was I was even justtalking to to a guy yesterday.
It happened to be at a kid'sbirthday party who was who is
contemplating divorce, and I waschatting with him about the fact
(03:33):
that there's a right way and aright way that you can do this
that can make it much easier.
And so if you are contemplatingthat, this is going to be very,
very important.
If you're in the middle of it,and say you've already submitted
the the financial disclosuresand you're negotiating stuff,
this is equally as importantbecause there are things that
(03:54):
you can do that are going to setyourself up, everybody up for
success post-divorce.
And if you're post-divorce andmaybe you didn't didn't have
guidance through this and andyou're working through some of
the challenges we're going totalk about, this is important
too because you can get back ontrack and you can get things
sorted out.
(04:14):
So wherever you're at, this isreally, really important.
And the first one is just toface the numbers.
Like I said, if you're goingthrough this, you're you're
having to some extent face thenumbers and know what's going
on.
So you can't really hide fromit, but I do know a lot of guys
that go through it and justdon't really think through it
and don't focus on it enough, oror weren't even the ones that
(04:37):
were very much in charge oftheir finances.
So they kind of just go withwhatever the agreement is and
feel like it's going to be okay.
Now, that that's a that's astrategy, that's a way to do it.
But oftentimes I find thatpost-divorce that can will turn
into some sort of challenge.
What that challenge might be isdifferent for everybody, but
(04:59):
sorting this out and workthrough it in a in a logical
manner up front is way, way, waymore just better in in general.
And it just gives you a uh peaceof mind post-divorce.
So this first and and crucialstep about getting honest, the
first thing you need to do isyou need to list all of your
(05:21):
income sources.
Now, you probably did that on afinancial disclosure.
If you haven't been throughdivorce yet, you're going to
have to.
It means all of wherever you getincome, primary salary, side
hustles, and if you're going topotentially get child support or
alimony payments.
So that's happening more andmore these days with some of us
(05:42):
dads.
So be realistic about what thesepayments are and when they're
going to start and and theirexact amounts.
So that's gonna that's going todefinitely help you to know
what's coming in.
And then this the second thingthat you need to do, this is all
within first step one, which isknowing what your numbers are.
(06:03):
You need to track every singleexpense.
And when I say every singleexpense, I mean for at least a
month.
And again, if you're just going,if you're just starting divorce
right now or you're in themiddle of it, do this as well.
This is going to help youimmensely put together a plan or
to negotiate out your whateverthe settlement is going to be in
(06:24):
your divorce.
But for at least a month,meticulously record every dollar
that you spend.
You can use a spreadsheet to doit, an Excel spreadsheet.
There are apps like Mint or YNABor just a notebook and just
write down.
But you want to categorize anddocument everything: housing,
utilities, groceries,transportation, childcare,
(06:47):
entertainment, subscriptions,and whatever miscellaneous cash
items, if you're buying whateverat the food truck or at the gas
station or you're buyingscratched lotto tickets or
whatever it might be.
You need to know every singledollar that you are spending so
that you can put this into yourbudget.
(07:08):
And then the last thing you needto figure out with your numbers
is what are your debts?
What are your credit card debts?
What are your personal loans anddebts?
What are your car loans, yourmortgages or rents?
Get an absolute clear picture ofwhat you owe to who you owe it.
And another really importantpart is what is the interest on
(07:32):
all that.
So what I suggest is finding away to document that within a
spreadsheet, because then youcan put everything in, and then
we're going to talk about thingsat in the last step that things
change.
So it gives you a good idea ofwhat you've got going at that
given time.
But then you're also able tomake changes and adjustments to
(07:55):
it, or and or you're able toproject out and figure out what
you might need to do if you needto figure out what your income
needs to be and you need toincrease and increase your
income, or if you need to figureout how you need to reduce your
debt, how much do you need toreduce?
You can do that easier within aa spreadsheet.
(08:18):
And if you don't knowspreadsheets, or you don't know,
that's that's fine too.
Use a a notebook or whatevermanual process you want to do
it.
But I find that spreadsheets canbe very, very helpful because it
helps you just look at potentialfuture ways or or things that
you can adjust really quickly.
Okay, so that's step one.
You got to know your numbers,you gotta face the numbers, you
(08:39):
can't hide from it anymore.
You're gonna be forced duringthe divorce to deal with some of
this through your financialdisclosure.
So if you've never doneanything, that's gonna be a
time, and then that's a greattime to work through these steps
and start putting thingstogether.
But even if you're after the thefacts and you kind of just let
things happen and you've gotyour agreement and you're in a
(09:01):
little bit of chaos, get ittogether, put it all in one
place.
It does take a little bit of aneffort, but I'm telling you, the
effort that you're gonna putinto it is gonna give you much
more peace of mind throughoutthe throughout just your day and
nights and in general.
Step number two, crafting yournew your new budget.
Now that you know where yourmoney's going, you know
(09:23):
everything about it, you need toput together a budget.
And fellas, I cannot, for thoseof you like myself, so I've been
on both ends of the spectrum.
I've been really great about abudget, very detail-oriented to
the penny, and I've been on theother end of the spectrum, and I
can tell you being getting abudget together is huge.
And and for me, that's why Imentioned the peace, it's the
(09:44):
peace of mind, knowing what'sgetting spent, how much money
you have.
It seems at least my experiencehas been that if I know how much
money I've got coming in, if Iknow where it's going, if I if I
know what my finances are and Ifeel comfortable with that,
other things in my life feelmuch more stable and steady.
(10:06):
So so if you haven't done it andyou're just kind of not like try
it, just try it because I'm I'mtelling you, it's gonna give you
some some peace of mind.
So, so what you got to do whenyou're crafting your budget, and
and I just also want to say thissome of this stuff is very
cursory, right?
We're gonna we're I'm talking inin generalizations, it's gonna
be very specific for you to dofor your own situation, but I
(10:30):
also highly, highly recommendtalking to a certified divorced
financial analyst during thisprocess to help you.
And and the analysts that thatwe work with are gonna do this
exact thing, they're gonna talkreally specifically.
And you may have heard ourepisode a month or two ago about
that and kind of some of thethings they're gonna take you
(10:51):
through this entire process.
And I'll tell you, I wish Iwould have had that going
through a divorce.
It is a huge thing.
But one of the things they'regonna talk about is prioritizing
your needs over your wants.
When your budget is tight andit's gonna be a tight budget, no
matter it's gonna be a dip, it'sgonna be a tight budget no
matter how much you make,because it's just a math
problem.
You're going from one householdinto two.
(11:13):
It's gonna be more expenses, soit's gonna be a lifestyle
change.
So, so when that it's tight,essential expenses have to come
first.
So that's knowing yourdifference between your needs
and your wants.
Housing, food, utilities,transportation, uh, childcare,
those are all non-negotiables,right?
(11:34):
And then everything else isgoing to be a want, and those
wants can be adjusted.
So when you've figured out whatyour wants and your needs are,
you will need to allocate whatyour income is, and you're gonna
need to assign a specific amountof money to each spending
category based on your trackingfrom that step one, right?
(11:56):
So you've got your spreadsheetor however you've however you've
compiled how you're spendingevery single one of your
dollars, and then you're gonnaallocate all of that income into
the different categories thatyou're gonna spend them on.
Now there's a it's a simple rulethat you can that you can use.
It's called the 50-30-20 rule.
Many of you have probably heardthat.
50% is for needs, 30% is forwants, and 20% is for savings
(12:21):
and debt repayment.
So the 50% for needs is reallypretty straightforward.
It's housing, utilities,groceries, transportation,
insurance, minimum debtpayments, and stuff like that.
Wants, the 30% is gonna be stufflike dining out, entertainment,
whether that's going to a gameor going to watch a movie or
(12:45):
something else, hobbies, newclothes.
Hopefully you have clothesalready, but maybe new clothes
or vacations or anything likethat.
Those are gonna be wants.
Those are gonna be thingsbasically.
If you think about, hey, can Ilive with this or without it?
Stuff like, well, I need food, Ican't live without that, so I
got to be able to go to agrocery store.
(13:05):
Uh, I need housing, so I need tobe able to pay my rent or my
mortgage payment.
I need a vehicle because I needto get the car.
I need a vehicle or I need moneyto pay for the vehicle, so I
need to go to work so that I canpay for the rent or anything
else.
But I mean, transportation alsothat could potentially be a need
because if you have publictransportation or an alternative
(13:28):
way to get to work, or maybework from home and you don't
need that.
So, I mean, this is going tovary for different people in
different lifestyles, right?
And then the 20% for savings anddebt repayment, emergency fund,
retirement, additional debtpayments, other than just the
minimum.
And then as a single dad, yourneeds category might initially
(13:52):
also be higher due tochild-related expenses.
So you're going to adjust thesepercentages to fit your unique
circumstances, like I said.
So some of those wants, some ofthose wants might be a little
bit a little bit skewed or justa little bit higher, if if you
will, because you do you do haveyou do have kids.
(14:12):
And so there's there's a minimumlifestyle that's that you want
to be able to function and andoperate in.
But again, this is going todepend on you.
This is going to depend uponyour lifestyle, it's going to
depend upon your family.
So those 50 that 50, 30, 20 isis a is just a guidepost, or
(14:33):
just guideposts for you.
But you want to if if it istight, you just you want to
really, really try to keepwithin this.
And if you need help with what awant, the difference between
want and need, and I'm not beingfacetious here.
I'm there's seriously, there Ithought there's people that I
talk to that seriously don'tknow or don't understand the
difference between a need andand a want.
(14:54):
I think for the most part, guysthat I do talk to, and
specifically divorced ordivorcing dads like like you
guys have a pretty strongunderstanding because you have a
pretty strong idea of whatthings are going to be like
post-divorce because you'vethought through the financial
thing first.
It seems to be one of the firstthings that that us dads think
(15:15):
of when we're when we'reapproaching this or going
through this process.
Okay, so then that we're stillin crafting your budget.
Talked about 50, 30, 20.
The next thing is thinking abouthow you're going to integrate
child support and doing thisvery carefully.
The child support, as you know,is designed to cover your
children's expenses, notnecessarily your own.
(15:37):
And ideally, these funds shouldbe directly allocated to things
like, and so let me just beclear.
I'm talking to the dads whothink or are receiving child
support, uh, which is happening,like I said, more and more these
days.
So they're to be allocated thingto things like the kids' share
of housing and utility costs,food and clothing for them,
(16:01):
school expenses, extraextracurricular activities and
medical care.
I would highly recommend settingup a separate account or a st or
even just a distinct line itemin your budget to manage these
funds so that you're ensuringthat they're used for their
intended purposes.
(16:22):
And why this is important, guys,is if you can document this and
you can demonstrate thispost-divorce, if there's any
kind of issue or accusations orwhatever, if you if you
unfortunately get into somethinglike this, if you've got this
all documented and there's aquestion about it, you can
easily say, This is the dollaramount that I've been given.
(16:46):
This is what I've spent.
I it's it it will be verystraightforward and makes things
much, much easier to mitigatepost-divorce and could actually
save you a whole buttload ofmoney of not having to go back
to court and then have to fightthis out and demonstrate this in
divorce.
And then if you haven'tdocumented, you're gonna have to
(17:07):
go back and you're gonna have tofigure it out anyway, and then
you're gonna have to bring it tocourt if you're taken to court.
So if you do it up front, it canbe very, very helpful.
Okay, that's number, that's stepnumber two, creating your
budget.
So the step number one wasknowing all of your numbers.
Step number two is crafting thatbudget.
Now, step number three ismanaging child support payments.
(17:29):
So I just touched on this, butbut the the it takes very
careful planning and management.
First off, first off, understandwhat the order is.
So if you're post-divorce oryou're just you're you're just
getting done with youragreement, understand what the
order is.
If you're not yet, then you needto understand what that is, what
(17:51):
that's going to mean, what theorder is going to mean, the
exact amounts, the paymentschedules, and the stipulations.
It's gonna mean also how howit's gonna factor into your
budget.
How are you allocating thesefunds specifically for your
children's needs?
If your child support fluctuatesor is sometimes late, budget
conservatively using only whatyou can reliably expect coming
(18:14):
in.
Now you won't know that untilyou get down the road and kind
of see what happens with withyour ex.
But just understand, also knowand understand what is expected
for extracurricular or or otherexpenses that's that are
happening with the kids, becausesome of that it should hopefully
(18:35):
be clearly laid out in your youragreements.
But oftentimes I see that thisdoes not happen, and then
questions come up and thenarguments happen.
And if that happens, I the theonly the only people that suffer
are the children, because thenit becomes more difficult to be
able to allow them to be able todo some of the things that they
(18:58):
might be wanting to do, or to beable to just simply provide for
them if you haven't clearly laidthese things out in your
agreement.
So if you can communicate withyour ex and you do have a good
co-parenting relationship, opencommunication about this stuff
is really important, especiallybig bigger expenses, kids' trips
(19:20):
for schools or things likebraces or medical stuff that
comes up.
It can be really, reallyhelpful.
But if you can't, hopefully youhave your agreement.
And so, guys, if you're goingthrough it or you're just
thinking about it, get thatagreement airtight.
One of the things we do I dowhen I'm coaching is we we go
(19:40):
over the agreement in veryspecific detail and we talk
about hey, have you consideredthis?
And what about this, and whatabout that?
And making sure that you'redotting as many I's and crossing
as many T's is absolutelycritical.
You do not want to have anythingleft up to interpretation
post-divorce because that meansif you guys can't interpret it
(20:02):
the same way, then guess what?
You're going back to court, it'sgonna cost you thousands of
dollars, and then the judge isgonna interpret it for you.
And that might not be theinterpretation that you had.
So take the time going throughit as contentious as it might
be, just make sure that you dothat.
Okay, so that's step numberthree.
Step number four is finding, I'mcalling it finding room to
(20:24):
breathe, but what that is iscost cutting.
So if you find yourself in asituation where your budget
looks like, hey, like I have toomuch, I have more, I have more
expenses than I have income.
So I need to trim somethingsomewhere.
And it's and it's good.
And we're gonna talk about thistoo, and in going over the
regular on a regular basis to toto to uh assess this.
(20:48):
But here's here's a few thingsto look at when trying to cut
costs.
The the number one, I the numberone thing I see is reviewing
your subscriptions.
So we've gotten to this place inthe world where, and I've got it
too, where these subscriptionsare on autopilot, they come out
of your account or to your yourcredit card or wherever just
automatically.
(21:09):
And some of them you just forgetabout.
So go through your statement,see what's coming out.
Hopefully you figure that out instep one, right?
And you know what yoursubscriptions are, but cancel
anything that is not a need,right?
That is only a want and that, orthat you're just not using
streaming services, gymservices, apps, whatever they
(21:31):
may be.
There was a point where I just Iwas able, I did the the math
about the the gym membershipsand what that costs a year
versus what I can do where I cango buy some of the minimum
amount of gym equipment that Icould get in my house and have a
workout and figure the theworkouts out still in my house
and you know, maybe outside orwhatever, and not being able to
(21:54):
and not going to the gym andcutting that that membership.
So it's stuff like that.
And sometimes you're probablygonna maybe have to get a little
creative with stuff too.
The second one, cooking at home,that I see is huge.
You're gonna be maybe surprised.
Some people are, it depends onwhat's your lifestyle, but
eating out even fast fast, justeating out and just not even,
(22:16):
just especially fast food issignificantly more expensive
than preparing meals at home.
Again, it's it's convenient andfaster.
I know and understand thechallenges with schedules and
kids, but figure out how toschedule to get to the grocery
store, to meal plan, work yourwork it win in with your kids.
(22:38):
It's a great opportunity toconnect with kids, but start
cooking at home.
And I'm just gonna say it's agood cost-cutting one, but it's
just a good one in general to dowith uh with your kiddos.
So cook at home more.
You can negotiate bills, andthis goes this goes into so you
figured out what your your cablebill is or what your internet
(22:59):
bill is or if they're combinedtogether.
You can call and you can try toand you can try to negotiate
something with them that'sthat's lower.
Another one is insurance costs.
Insurance costs always seem tobe going up.
Not all insurance people willcall you every mu uh every year
and and talk to you about those.
So check your insuranceproviders, see if there's ways
(23:19):
to save save money on on yourinsurance and get better rates.
Uh loyalty programs, those areoften sometimes sometimes great
ways to save a little bit ofmoney here and a little bit of
money there.
Credit card points are alsoanother one.
If you can finagle and you'vegot the the the wherewithal and
the ability to pay stuff oncredit cards and pay it off
(23:39):
every month so that you canbuild up loyalties and even get
some cash back returns, butmaking sure you're paying off.
Sometimes those are greatopportunities as well to make
some money and to cut to cutsome costs.
So that's step number four isfinding some ways to cut your
cost.
Now, step number feet numberfive is setting some financial
(24:02):
goals.
So all everything we've talkedabout is really assessing where
you're at, getting yourselfstable to where you know what
you're spending, what yourincome is, what that's what that
all looks like, cutting costs ifnecessary, all about the
budgeting.
And now you're setting yourfinancial goals for what you
want it to look like in thefuture.
So it's not just cutting back,but now you're talking thinking
(24:25):
about building forward.
So one of the things you need tohave is an emergency fund.
(25:59):
It's critical.
We don't know what's gonnahappen with whatever in life in
general.
You need to aim for three to sixmonths of essential living
expenses.
So all those, those, all thosedeb debits that you that you put
together, your expenses and whatyour debits were, all of your
expenses for a month, you'regonna figure out what three to
six months of those are, andthen start building up a savings
(26:23):
fund for that.
Even if it's just a smallamount,$25 a week, that you're
doing that after a period oftime, that's gonna that's gonna
build up.
You invest that in aninterest-bearing account or
investments or something, thatcould also help to build some
more money while it's sittingthere and waiting.
But make sure that you can putthat together and you can get
(26:44):
that together.
That emergency fund is gonna behuge.
It's gonna be another one forme.
Again, it was a peace of mindknowing, hey, something breaks
down on the car, I have themoney to be able to fix it, I
don't have to stress too much.
Next thing in setting newfinancial goals is a debt
repayment plan.
If you have high interest debtlike credit cards, figure out a
(27:09):
plan to tackle that.
It could be a plan of uh thedebt snowball, which is paying
off your smallest ones and thengoing towards paying off the big
ones, right?
Like a snowball.
Or it could be the debtavalanche, which is the
opposite, paying off the highestinterest rate ones first and
then and then the lower interestrate ones after.
(27:30):
If you can find zero balancestuff, again, sometimes you
might get have to get creativeor or lower cards where you can
transfer balances for a periodof time as well.
That can help too.
And so you might have to getcreative again.
Also, it's gonna take a littlebit of time, guys.
It's gonna take effort andpaying attention to this stuff,
(27:51):
and you you're gonna sometimessometimes you're really just
gonna have to carve out thistime, maybe on the weekend or a
time during the week after workwhere you don't have the kids,
where you have to sit down anddo this and pay attention to it.
Because it if it especially ifit takes creativity, then you're
gonna have to research, you'regonna have to talk to people
about it.
If you have a financial planner,a certified divorce financial
(28:15):
analyst or somebody, you'regonna have to sit down with
them, you're gonna have to comeup with these numbers.
So, but take the time, I'mtelling you, it will definitely
be worth it.
The next financial goal to toplan for is your kids' future.
It's gonna be this would becollege or trade schools or or
something, but you're gonna wantto start trying to put something
(28:36):
away for that, as well as yourretirements.
So the less you need tocontribute later, if you're
contributing now, you know,compound interest is awesome.
It could be an IRA, it could bea 401k, it could be 529 for the
kids for the college, but andand it doesn't have to be large
amounts, guys.
(28:56):
So it can be small amounts tostart out, but the point is to
start doing it and and and justdo it regularly and do it
consistently.
Uh, and the last one is fundmoney.
Don't make your budget sorestrictive that it's
unsustainable.
Allocate a small amount forguilt-free personal enjoyment.
This keeps you motivated.
(29:17):
And so that could be a fun, thatcould be a fun fund, right?
Say that fast five times.
It could be a fun fund whereyou're just putting maybe excess
change in a jar.
You could do it be do a funthing with your with your kids.
But again, if you're just doingsomething small, and it and it
doesn't have to build up to behuge, it could be build up to
(29:39):
where you're gonna use it, andthen maybe there's something
that you all want to go do anddo together.
It doesn't have to be somethingbig and fancy and huge, like a
big European trip, but it couldbe a fun camping trip or it
could be a fun outing to dosomething that you saved up.
And while you're doing it,you're also teaching and
modeling phenomenal financial uhawareness for your kiddos to be
(30:03):
able to do this.
Something that in this day andage of instant gratification,
teaching them to put together afun fund and save even just your
your coins and some loose changeand extra money that you get
into that and build up overtime, and then you have the
satisfaction of spending that onsomething is just an awesome,
(30:24):
awesome lesson for them.
Okay, so that is your futurefinancial goals and putting
those together.
And the last one we're going totalk to and alluded or talk
about and that I alluded toearlier is review and adjust.
You need to be going over thisbudget and paying attention to
it on a regular basis, even ifit's just once a month looking
(30:46):
at it and and assessing it andreconciling your your your your
budget to what you actuallyspent.
Some of this is a lot easierthese days with QuickBooks and
some of the other online uh mintand some of the online software
that that will do itautomatically for you.
But you gotta look at it, yougotta see where you might have
(31:07):
overspent because that's gonnahappen.
Where can you save money andcut, like we talked about in one
of the steps?
Quarterly, at quarterly, but atthe very least annually, conduct
a thorough review and make yourdifferent adjustments because
this what it's what this isgonna do is this gonna help you
plan.
(31:27):
All right, do I need to makemore money?
Maybe I need a side hustle,maybe I need to look for a new
job, or maybe I need to startpushing for a promotion in my
existing job, whatever it mightbe.
If it comes down to I've I'vecut all of my expenses to as far
down as I can, and I still amstruggling, I need to maybe go
(31:50):
to school so that I can earnsome income, whatever.
It's gonna help you to assesswhat you need to do in creating
a plan and going forward.
So at the very least, you'regonna do a thorough, thorough
review annually and go into thisin intimate detail.
And then the last, I just wantto sign it, say, and this will
be my final point, which is bepatient and forgiving with
(32:12):
yourself.
This doesn't have to be perfect.
And if you've never done thisbefore, it's not gonna be
perfect, even if you've done itbefore, and you guys know it's
not perfect.
It is it is adjusting, it'sinformation.
There's gonna be months whereyou're gonna go off track.
The key is just to learn.
It is to make an adjustment andthen get back on course.
(32:34):
Just like anything like we talkabout with working out, with any
of the self-care.
If you're going to fall off thewagon, do you just get back up?
Do you keep trying again?
And then eventually you get thehang of it and you'll get better
at it.
So, so it in it's not rebuildingyour finances and figuring this
(32:55):
all out is not a sprint.
It's a marathon.
So, what you're thinking aboutis long-term for yourself and
for your kiddos.
It's going to take discipline,it's going to take honesty, it's
going to take a willingness tolearn and to implement this.
But I'm telling you, by takingthese practical, step-by-step
(33:15):
actions, you're not only goingto regain control of your money,
but you're going to set a anamazing, powerful example of
resilience and financialresponsibility for your kiddos,
which ultimately that's what wewant is to have them be healthy,
functioning adults.
So by doing this, that is goingto go a long way for helping
(33:39):
them to do that.
Gentlemen, thank you so much forlistening.
I hope that you found some valuein these six steps for
rebuilding your finances fromfrom scratch.
I know that this can help youand it will help you.
Also, if if it if you've enjoyedthis, please share far and wide.
(34:00):
We've had an increase indownloads over the past month.
It's a credit to you sharing.
I think a lot of you have beensharing on social media.
That is a great place to get theword out about this.
Uh, share far and wide, leave usa star rating.
Those help immensely too to getother dads that are doing
keyword searches that find us.
(34:20):
They see great star ratings, oreven better, they read one of
your comments and leave acomment, leave some details
about that.
I read all the comments on everysingle one of the podcast
platforms and the social mediaplatforms.
And I sincerely appreciate whenyou give us your when you give
us your feedback and you tell ushow it's impacted you.
(34:41):
But that also encourages anotherdad that might be mired in
whatever he's going throughduring his divorce to reach out
and get involved in thecommunity too.
So you have the power to be ableto make an impact on other dads
going through that just byleaving a comment or a star
rating or sharing this on yoursocial media.
(35:01):
So I appreciate it.
I sincerely appreciate youlistening and tuning in this
week.
Have a terrific week and Godbless.
Hello and welcome to the show.
I sincerely appreciate youtuning in and listening this
week.
Our topic is rebuilding yourfinances from scratch.
Something that if you arecontemplating going through or
post-divorce, I'm sure that youcan all appreciate.
But before we jump into thetopic and get into specifics,
(01:27):
let's welcome Nate and Devon tothe Divorced Advocate community.
If you have not checked out thecommunity yet, go to
thedivorcedavicate.com.
We've got re resources for youwherever you're at in your
divorce journey.
And we've got resources that arefree to paid resources.
(01:47):
So whatever you need, whereveryou're at, we have something for
you.
Check out the event page too,fellas.
We've got a ton of stuff goingon that are free resources, QA's
every single month.
I know the holidays are comingup.
That can be a very challengingtime, no matter where you're at
in your divorce, even if it'sbeen a while and you are
(02:09):
post-divorce, but we've got allkinds of support there.
So jump on one of the calls, getuh get in and around guys that
uh know what you've got going onand can support you.
Check it out all atthedivorceddavicate.com.
All right, the the single dadsbudget.
That's what we're gonna talkabout.
(02:29):
And divorce is tough for singledads.
Often the the financial part ofit feels like kind of like a
reset button, if you will,without really even knowing
where everything's gonna go andhow everything's gonna
transpire.
Child support, new livingarrangements, the uh the
emotional toll, it justoftentimes feels like our
(02:51):
financial uh you know ourfinances are in a a mess or
really in just a flux, right?
Um but it doesn't have todoesn't have to be that way, and
it doesn't have to stay thatway, guys.
Rebuilding your your financialfoundation is possible.
And this is what we're gonnatalk about.
We're gonna talk about six stepsand we're gonna walk you through
(03:12):
those step by step.
And I do want to say thatwherever you're at in listening
to this, even if you're just ifyou're if you're contemplating
divorce and you're listening tothis, it's very, very important
because I was I was even justtalking to to a guy yesterday.
It happened to be at a kid'sbirthday party who was who is
contemplating divorce, and I waschatting with him about the fact
(03:33):
that there's a right way and aright way that you can do this
that can make it much easier.
And so if you are contemplatingthat, this is going to be very,
very important.
If you're in the middle of it,and say you've already submitted
the the financial disclosuresand you're negotiating stuff,
this is equally as importantbecause there are things that
(03:54):
you can do that are going to setyourself up, everybody up for
success post-divorce.
And if you're post-divorce andmaybe you didn't didn't have
guidance through this and andyou're working through some of
the challenges we're going totalk about, this is important
too because you can get back ontrack and you can get things
sorted out.
(04:14):
So wherever you're at, this isreally, really important.
And the first one is just toface the numbers.
Like I said, if you're goingthrough this, you're you're
having to some extent face thenumbers and know what's going
on.
So you can't really hide fromit, but I do know a lot of guys
that go through it and justdon't really think through it
and don't focus on it enough, oror weren't even the ones that
(04:37):
were very much in charge oftheir finances.
So they kind of just go withwhatever the agreement is and
feel like it's going to be okay.
Now, that that's a that's astrategy, that's a way to do it.
But oftentimes I find thatpost-divorce that can will turn
into some sort of challenge.
What that challenge might be isdifferent for everybody, but
(04:59):
sorting this out and workthrough it in a in a logical
manner up front is way, way, waymore just better in in general.
And it just gives you a uh peaceof mind post-divorce.
So this first and and crucialstep about getting honest, the
first thing you need to do isyou need to list all of your
(05:21):
income sources.
Now, you probably did that on afinancial disclosure.
If you haven't been throughdivorce yet, you're going to
have to.
It means all of wherever you getincome, primary salary, side
hustles, and if you're going topotentially get child support or
alimony payments.
So that's happening more andmore these days with some of us
(05:42):
dads.
So be realistic about what thesepayments are and when they're
going to start and and theirexact amounts.
So that's gonna that's going todefinitely help you to know
what's coming in.
And then this the second thingthat you need to do, this is all
within first step one, which isknowing what your numbers are.
(06:03):
You need to track every singleexpense.
And when I say every singleexpense, I mean for at least a
month.
And again, if you're just going,if you're just starting divorce
right now or you're in themiddle of it, do this as well.
This is going to help youimmensely put together a plan or
to negotiate out your whateverthe settlement is going to be in
(06:24):
your divorce.
But for at least a month,meticulously record every dollar
that you spend.
You can use a spreadsheet to doit, an Excel spreadsheet.
There are apps like Mint or YNABor just a notebook and just
write down.
But you want to categorize anddocument everything: housing,
utilities, groceries,transportation, childcare,
(06:47):
entertainment, subscriptions,and whatever miscellaneous cash
items, if you're buying whateverat the food truck or at the gas
station or you're buyingscratched lotto tickets or
whatever it might be.
You need to know every singledollar that you are spending so
that you can put this into yourbudget.
(07:08):
And then the last thing you needto figure out with your numbers
is what are your debts?
What are your credit card debts?
What are your personal loans anddebts?
What are your car loans, yourmortgages or rents?
Get an absolute clear picture ofwhat you owe to who you owe it.
And another really importantpart is what is the interest on
(07:32):
all that.
So what I suggest is finding away to document that within a
spreadsheet, because then youcan put everything in, and then
we're going to talk about thingsat in the last step that things
change.
So it gives you a good idea ofwhat you've got going at that
given time.
But then you're also able tomake changes and adjustments to
(07:55):
it, or and or you're able toproject out and figure out what
you might need to do if you needto figure out what your income
needs to be and you need toincrease and increase your
income, or if you need to figureout how you need to reduce your
debt, how much do you need toreduce?
You can do that easier within aa spreadsheet.
(08:18):
And if you don't knowspreadsheets, or you don't know,
that's that's fine too.
Use a a notebook or whatevermanual process you want to do
it.
But I find that spreadsheets canbe very, very helpful because it
helps you just look at potentialfuture ways or or things that
you can adjust really quickly.
Okay, so that's step one.
You got to know your numbers,you gotta face the numbers, you
(08:39):
can't hide from it anymore.
You're gonna be forced duringthe divorce to deal with some of
this through your financialdisclosure.
So if you've never doneanything, that's gonna be a
time, and then that's a greattime to work through these steps
and start putting thingstogether.
But even if you're after the thefacts and you kind of just let
things happen and you've gotyour agreement and you're in a
(09:01):
little bit of chaos, get ittogether, put it all in one
place.
It does take a little bit of aneffort, but I'm telling you, the
effort that you're gonna putinto it is gonna give you much
more peace of mind throughoutthe throughout just your day and
nights and in general.
Step number two, crafting yournew your new budget.
Now that you know where yourmoney's going, you know
(09:23):
everything about it, you need toput together a budget.
And fellas, I cannot, for thoseof you like myself, so I've been
on both ends of the spectrum.
I've been really great about abudget, very detail-oriented to
the penny, and I've been on theother end of the spectrum, and I
can tell you being getting abudget together is huge.
And and for me, that's why Imentioned the peace, it's the
(09:44):
peace of mind, knowing what'sgetting spent, how much money
you have.
It seems at least my experiencehas been that if I know how much
money I've got coming in, if Iknow where it's going, if I if I
know what my finances are and Ifeel comfortable with that,
other things in my life feelmuch more stable and steady.
(10:06):
So so if you haven't done it andyou're just kind of not like try
it, just try it because I'm I'mtelling you, it's gonna give you
some some peace of mind.
So, so what you got to do whenyou're crafting your budget, and
and I just also want to say thissome of this stuff is very
cursory, right?
We're gonna we're I'm talking inin generalizations, it's gonna
be very specific for you to dofor your own situation, but I
(10:30):
also highly, highly recommendtalking to a certified divorced
financial analyst during thisprocess to help you.
And and the analysts that thatwe work with are gonna do this
exact thing, they're gonna talkreally specifically.
And you may have heard ourepisode a month or two ago about
that and kind of some of thethings they're gonna take you
(10:51):
through this entire process.
And I'll tell you, I wish Iwould have had that going
through a divorce.
It is a huge thing.
But one of the things they'regonna talk about is prioritizing
your needs over your wants.
When your budget is tight andit's gonna be a tight budget, no
matter it's gonna be a dip, it'sgonna be a tight budget no
matter how much you make,because it's just a math
problem.
You're going from one householdinto two.
(11:13):
It's gonna be more expenses, soit's gonna be a lifestyle
change.
So, so when that it's tight,essential expenses have to come
first.
So that's knowing yourdifference between your needs
and your wants.
Housing, food, utilities,transportation, uh, childcare,
those are all non-negotiables,right?
(11:34):
And then everything else isgoing to be a want, and those
wants can be adjusted.
So when you've figured out whatyour wants and your needs are,
you will need to allocate whatyour income is, and you're gonna
need to assign a specific amountof money to each spending
category based on your trackingfrom that step one, right?
(11:56):
So you've got your spreadsheetor however you've however you've
compiled how you're spendingevery single one of your
dollars, and then you're gonnaallocate all of that income into
the different categories thatyou're gonna spend them on.
Now there's a it's a simple rulethat you can that you can use.
It's called the 50-30-20 rule.
Many of you have probably heardthat.
50% is for needs, 30% is forwants, and 20% is for savings
(12:21):
and debt repayment.
So the 50% for needs is reallypretty straightforward.
It's housing, utilities,groceries, transportation,
insurance, minimum debtpayments, and stuff like that.
Wants, the 30% is gonna be stufflike dining out, entertainment,
whether that's going to a gameor going to watch a movie or
(12:45):
something else, hobbies, newclothes.
Hopefully you have clothesalready, but maybe new clothes
or vacations or anything likethat.
Those are gonna be wants.
Those are gonna be thingsbasically.
If you think about, hey, can Ilive with this or without it?
Stuff like, well, I need food, Ican't live without that, so I
got to be able to go to agrocery store.
(13:05):
Uh, I need housing, so I need tobe able to pay my rent or my
mortgage payment.
I need a vehicle because I needto get the car.
I need a vehicle or I need moneyto pay for the vehicle, so I
need to go to work so that I canpay for the rent or anything
else.
But I mean, transportation alsothat could potentially be a need
because if you have publictransportation or an alternative
(13:28):
way to get to work, or maybework from home and you don't
need that.
So, I mean, this is going tovary for different people in
different lifestyles, right?
And then the 20% for savings anddebt repayment, emergency fund,
retirement, additional debtpayments, other than just the
minimum.
And then as a single dad, yourneeds category might initially
(13:52):
also be higher due tochild-related expenses.
So you're going to adjust thesepercentages to fit your unique
circumstances, like I said.
So some of those wants, some ofthose wants might be a little
bit a little bit skewed or justa little bit higher, if if you
will, because you do you do haveyou do have kids.
(14:12):
And so there's there's a minimumlifestyle that's that you want
to be able to function and andoperate in.
But again, this is going todepend on you.
This is going to depend uponyour lifestyle, it's going to
depend upon your family.
So those 50 that 50, 30, 20 isis a is just a guidepost, or
(14:33):
just guideposts for you.
But you want to if if it istight, you just you want to
really, really try to keepwithin this.
And if you need help with what awant, the difference between
want and need, and I'm not beingfacetious here.
I'm there's seriously, there Ithought there's people that I
talk to that seriously don'tknow or don't understand the
difference between a need andand a want.
(14:54):
I think for the most part, guysthat I do talk to, and
specifically divorced ordivorcing dads like like you
guys have a pretty strongunderstanding because you have a
pretty strong idea of whatthings are going to be like
post-divorce because you'vethought through the financial
thing first.
It seems to be one of the firstthings that that us dads think
(15:15):
of when we're when we'reapproaching this or going
through this process.
Okay, so then that we're stillin crafting your budget.
Talked about 50, 30, 20.
The next thing is thinking abouthow you're going to integrate
child support and doing thisvery carefully.
The child support, as you know,is designed to cover your
children's expenses, notnecessarily your own.
(15:37):
And ideally, these funds shouldbe directly allocated to things
like, and so let me just beclear.
I'm talking to the dads whothink or are receiving child
support, uh, which is happening,like I said, more and more these
days.
So they're to be allocated thingto things like the kids' share
of housing and utility costs,food and clothing for them,
(16:01):
school expenses, extraextracurricular activities and
medical care.
I would highly recommend settingup a separate account or a st or
even just a distinct line itemin your budget to manage these
funds so that you're ensuringthat they're used for their
intended purposes.
(16:22):
And why this is important, guys,is if you can document this and
you can demonstrate thispost-divorce, if there's any
kind of issue or accusations orwhatever, if you if you
unfortunately get into somethinglike this, if you've got this
all documented and there's aquestion about it, you can
easily say, This is the dollaramount that I've been given.
(16:46):
This is what I've spent.
I it's it it will be verystraightforward and makes things
much, much easier to mitigatepost-divorce and could actually
save you a whole buttload ofmoney of not having to go back
to court and then have to fightthis out and demonstrate this in
divorce.
And then if you haven'tdocumented, you're gonna have to
(17:07):
go back and you're gonna have tofigure it out anyway, and then
you're gonna have to bring it tocourt if you're taken to court.
So if you do it up front, it canbe very, very helpful.
Okay, that's number, that's stepnumber two, creating your
budget.
So the step number one wasknowing all of your numbers.
Step number two is crafting thatbudget.
Now, step number three ismanaging child support payments.
(17:29):
So I just touched on this, butbut the the it takes very
careful planning and management.
First off, first off, understandwhat the order is.
So if you're post-divorce oryou're just you're you're just
getting done with youragreement, understand what the
order is.
If you're not yet, then you needto understand what that is, what
(17:51):
that's going to mean, what theorder is going to mean, the
exact amounts, the paymentschedules, and the stipulations.
It's gonna mean also how howit's gonna factor into your
budget.
How are you allocating thesefunds specifically for your
children's needs?
If your child support fluctuatesor is sometimes late, budget
conservatively using only whatyou can reliably expect coming
(18:14):
in.
Now you won't know that untilyou get down the road and kind
of see what happens with withyour ex.
But just understand, also knowand understand what is expected
for extracurricular or or otherexpenses that's that are
happening with the kids, becausesome of that it should hopefully
(18:35):
be clearly laid out in your youragreements.
But oftentimes I see that thisdoes not happen, and then
questions come up and thenarguments happen.
And if that happens, I the theonly the only people that suffer
are the children, because thenit becomes more difficult to be
able to allow them to be able todo some of the things that they
(18:58):
might be wanting to do, or to beable to just simply provide for
them if you haven't clearly laidthese things out in your
agreement.
So if you can communicate withyour ex and you do have a good
co-parenting relationship, opencommunication about this stuff
is really important, especiallybig bigger expenses, kids' trips
(19:20):
for schools or things likebraces or medical stuff that
comes up.
It can be really, reallyhelpful.
But if you can't, hopefully youhave your agreement.
And so, guys, if you're goingthrough it or you're just
thinking about it, get thatagreement airtight.
One of the things we do I dowhen I'm coaching is we we go
(19:40):
over the agreement in veryspecific detail and we talk
about hey, have you consideredthis?
And what about this, and whatabout that?
And making sure that you'redotting as many I's and crossing
as many T's is absolutelycritical.
You do not want to have anythingleft up to interpretation
post-divorce because that meansif you guys can't interpret it
(20:02):
the same way, then guess what?
You're going back to court, it'sgonna cost you thousands of
dollars, and then the judge isgonna interpret it for you.
And that might not be theinterpretation that you had.
So take the time going throughit as contentious as it might
be, just make sure that you dothat.
Okay, so that's step numberthree.
Step number four is finding, I'mcalling it finding room to
(20:24):
breathe, but what that is iscost cutting.
So if you find yourself in asituation where your budget
looks like, hey, like I have toomuch, I have more, I have more
expenses than I have income.
So I need to trim somethingsomewhere.
And it's and it's good.
And we're gonna talk about thistoo, and in going over the
regular on a regular basis to toto to uh assess this.
(20:48):
But here's here's a few thingsto look at when trying to cut
costs.
The the number one, I the numberone thing I see is reviewing
your subscriptions.
So we've gotten to this place inthe world where, and I've got it
too, where these subscriptionsare on autopilot, they come out
of your account or to your yourcredit card or wherever just
automatically.
(21:09):
And some of them you just forgetabout.
So go through your statement,see what's coming out.
Hopefully you figure that out instep one, right?
And you know what yoursubscriptions are, but cancel
anything that is not a need,right?
That is only a want and that, orthat you're just not using
streaming services, gymservices, apps, whatever they
(21:31):
may be.
There was a point where I just Iwas able, I did the the math
about the the gym membershipsand what that costs a year
versus what I can do where I cango buy some of the minimum
amount of gym equipment that Icould get in my house and have a
workout and figure the theworkouts out still in my house
and you know, maybe outside orwhatever, and not being able to
(21:54):
and not going to the gym andcutting that that membership.
So it's stuff like that.
And sometimes you're probablygonna maybe have to get a little
creative with stuff too.
The second one, cooking at home,that I see is huge.
You're gonna be maybe surprised.
Some people are, it depends onwhat's your lifestyle, but
eating out even fast fast, justeating out and just not even,
(22:16):
just especially fast food issignificantly more expensive
than preparing meals at home.
Again, it's it's convenient andfaster.
I know and understand thechallenges with schedules and
kids, but figure out how toschedule to get to the grocery
store, to meal plan, work yourwork it win in with your kids.
(22:38):
It's a great opportunity toconnect with kids, but start
cooking at home.
And I'm just gonna say it's agood cost-cutting one, but it's
just a good one in general to dowith uh with your kiddos.
So cook at home more.
You can negotiate bills, andthis goes this goes into so you
figured out what your your cablebill is or what your internet
(22:59):
bill is or if they're combinedtogether.
You can call and you can try toand you can try to negotiate
something with them that'sthat's lower.
Another one is insurance costs.
Insurance costs always seem tobe going up.
Not all insurance people willcall you every mu uh every year
and and talk to you about those.
So check your insuranceproviders, see if there's ways
(23:19):
to save save money on on yourinsurance and get better rates.
Uh loyalty programs, those areoften sometimes sometimes great
ways to save a little bit ofmoney here and a little bit of
money there.
Credit card points are alsoanother one.
If you can finagle and you'vegot the the the wherewithal and
the ability to pay stuff oncredit cards and pay it off
(23:39):
every month so that you canbuild up loyalties and even get
some cash back returns, butmaking sure you're paying off.
Sometimes those are greatopportunities as well to make
some money and to cut to cutsome costs.
So that's step number four isfinding some ways to cut your
cost.
Now, step number feet numberfive is setting some financial
(24:02):
goals.
So all everything we've talkedabout is really assessing where
you're at, getting yourselfstable to where you know what
you're spending, what yourincome is, what that's what that
all looks like, cutting costs ifnecessary, all about the
budgeting.
And now you're setting yourfinancial goals for what you
want it to look like in thefuture.
So it's not just cutting back,but now you're talking thinking
(24:25):
about building forward.
So one of the things you need tohave is an emergency fund.
(25:59):
It's critical.
We don't know what's gonnahappen with whatever in life in
general.
You need to aim for three to sixmonths of essential living
expenses.
So all those, those, all thosedeb debits that you that you put
together, your expenses and whatyour debits were, all of your
expenses for a month, you'regonna figure out what three to
six months of those are, andthen start building up a savings
(26:23):
fund for that.
Even if it's just a smallamount,$25 a week, that you're
doing that after a period oftime, that's gonna that's gonna
build up.
You invest that in aninterest-bearing account or
investments or something, thatcould also help to build some
more money while it's sittingthere and waiting.
But make sure that you can putthat together and you can get
(26:44):
that together.
That emergency fund is gonna behuge.
It's gonna be another one forme.
Again, it was a peace of mindknowing, hey, something breaks
down on the car, I have themoney to be able to fix it, I
don't have to stress too much.
Next thing in setting newfinancial goals is a debt
repayment plan.
If you have high interest debtlike credit cards, figure out a
(27:09):
plan to tackle that.
It could be a plan of uh thedebt snowball, which is paying
off your smallest ones and thengoing towards paying off the big
ones, right?
Like a snowball.
Or it could be the debtavalanche, which is the
opposite, paying off the highestinterest rate ones first and
then and then the lower interestrate ones after.
(27:30):
If you can find zero balancestuff, again, sometimes you
might get have to get creativeor or lower cards where you can
transfer balances for a periodof time as well.
That can help too.
And so you might have to getcreative again.
Also, it's gonna take a littlebit of time, guys.
It's gonna take effort andpaying attention to this stuff,
(27:51):
and you you're gonna sometimessometimes you're really just
gonna have to carve out thistime, maybe on the weekend or a
time during the week after workwhere you don't have the kids,
where you have to sit down anddo this and pay attention to it.
Because it if it especially ifit takes creativity, then you're
gonna have to research, you'regonna have to talk to people
about it.
If you have a financial planner,a certified divorce financial
(28:15):
analyst or somebody, you'regonna have to sit down with
them, you're gonna have to comeup with these numbers.
So, but take the time, I'mtelling you, it will definitely
be worth it.
The next financial goal to toplan for is your kids' future.
It's gonna be this would becollege or trade schools or or
something, but you're gonna wantto start trying to put something
(28:36):
away for that, as well as yourretirements.
So the less you need tocontribute later, if you're
contributing now, you know,compound interest is awesome.
It could be an IRA, it could bea 401k, it could be 529 for the
kids for the college, but andand it doesn't have to be large
amounts, guys.
(28:56):
So it can be small amounts tostart out, but the point is to
start doing it and and and justdo it regularly and do it
consistently.
Uh, and the last one is fundmoney.
Don't make your budget sorestrictive that it's
unsustainable.
Allocate a small amount forguilt-free personal enjoyment.
This keeps you motivated.
(29:17):
And so that could be a fun, thatcould be a fun fund, right?
Say that fast five times.
It could be a fun fund whereyou're just putting maybe excess
change in a jar.
You could do it be do a funthing with your with your kids.
But again, if you're just doingsomething small, and it and it
doesn't have to build up to behuge, it could be build up to
(29:39):
where you're gonna use it, andthen maybe there's something
that you all want to go do anddo together.
It doesn't have to be somethingbig and fancy and huge, like a
big European trip, but it couldbe a fun camping trip or it
could be a fun outing to dosomething that you saved up.
And while you're doing it,you're also teaching and
modeling phenomenal financial uhawareness for your kiddos to be
(30:03):
able to do this.
Something that in this day andage of instant gratification,
teaching them to put together afun fund and save even just your
your coins and some loose changeand extra money that you get
into that and build up overtime, and then you have the
satisfaction of spending that onsomething is just an awesome,
(30:24):
awesome lesson for them.
Okay, so that is your futurefinancial goals and putting
those together.
And the last one we're going totalk to and alluded or talk
about and that I alluded toearlier is review and adjust.
You need to be going over thisbudget and paying attention to
it on a regular basis, even ifit's just once a month looking
(30:46):
at it and and assessing it andreconciling your your your your
budget to what you actuallyspent.
Some of this is a lot easierthese days with QuickBooks and
some of the other online uh mintand some of the online software
that that will do itautomatically for you.
But you gotta look at it, yougotta see where you might have
(31:07):
overspent because that's gonnahappen.
Where can you save money andcut, like we talked about in one
of the steps?
Quarterly, at quarterly, but atthe very least annually, conduct
a thorough review and make yourdifferent adjustments because
this what it's what this isgonna do is this gonna help you
plan.
(31:27):
All right, do I need to makemore money?
Maybe I need a side hustle,maybe I need to look for a new
job, or maybe I need to startpushing for a promotion in my
existing job, whatever it mightbe.
If it comes down to I've I'vecut all of my expenses to as far
down as I can, and I still amstruggling, I need to maybe go
(31:50):
to school so that I can earnsome income, whatever.
It's gonna help you to assesswhat you need to do in creating
a plan and going forward.
So at the very least, you'regonna do a thorough, thorough
review annually and go into thisin intimate detail.
And then the last, I just wantto sign it, say, and this will
be my final point, which is bepatient and forgiving with
(32:12):
yourself.
This doesn't have to be perfect.
And if you've never done thisbefore, it's not gonna be
perfect, even if you've done itbefore, and you guys know it's
not perfect.
It is it is adjusting, it'sinformation.
There's gonna be months whereyou're gonna go off track.
The key is just to learn.
It is to make an adjustment andthen get back on course.
(32:34):
Just like anything like we talkabout with working out, with any
of the self-care.
If you're going to fall off thewagon, do you just get back up?
Do you keep trying again?
And then eventually you get thehang of it and you'll get better
at it.
So, so it in it's not rebuildingyour finances and figuring this
(32:55):
all out is not a sprint.
It's a marathon.
So, what you're thinking aboutis long-term for yourself and
for your kiddos.
It's going to take discipline,it's going to take honesty, it's
going to take a willingness tolearn and to implement this.
But I'm telling you, by takingthese practical, step-by-step
(33:15):
actions, you're not only goingto regain control of your money,
but you're going to set a anamazing, powerful example of
resilience and financialresponsibility for your kiddos,
which ultimately that's what wewant is to have them be healthy,
functioning adults.
So by doing this, that is goingto go a long way for helping
(33:39):
them to do that.
Gentlemen, thank you so much forlistening.
I hope that you found some valuein these six steps for
rebuilding your finances fromfrom scratch.
I know that this can help youand it will help you.
Also, if if it if you've enjoyedthis, please share far and wide.
(34:00):
We've had an increase indownloads over the past month.
It's a credit to you sharing.
I think a lot of you have beensharing on social media.
That is a great place to get theword out about this.
Uh, share far and wide, leave usa star rating.
Those help immensely too to getother dads that are doing
keyword searches that find us.
(34:20):
They see great star ratings, oreven better, they read one of
your comments and leave acomment, leave some details
about that.
I read all the comments on everysingle one of the podcast
platforms and the social mediaplatforms.
And I sincerely appreciate whenyou give us your when you give
us your feedback and you tell ushow it's impacted you.
(34:41):
But that also encourages anotherdad that might be mired in
whatever he's going throughduring his divorce to reach out
and get involved in thecommunity too.
So you have the power to be ableto make an impact on other dads
going through that just byleaving a comment or a star
rating or sharing this on yoursocial media.
(35:01):
So I appreciate it.
I sincerely appreciate youlistening and tuning in this
week.
Have a terrific week and Godbless.
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