May 5, 2025 • 29 mins
Modern feminism has moved far beyond equality. Today, it’s about control — and nowhere is that more obvious than in the aftermath of divorce. In custody courts, in legal systems, and in the culture itself, divorced fathers are being systematically pushed aside, not because they’ve failed their children, but because they don’t fit the feminist-approved narrative of what a post-divorce family should look like.
If you’re a father going through divorce, or already fighting to stay in your child’s life, you’ve felt this.
Every move you make is twisted through a lens designed to cast doubt on your motives and minimize your role. The system — backed by decades of feminist legal theory and cultural propaganda — doesn’t see you as a co-equal parent. It sees you as a liability to be managed.
And the damage doesn’t stop with you.
Your children are the ones who suffer most — emotionally, psychologically, and developmentally — when ideology is allowed to override truth. They lose not just time with their father, but the stability, identity, and love that only a strong, present dad can give.
This episode isn’t about playing victim. It’s about waking up, standing up, and fighting smart.
Because you can protect your children from this.
But it starts with understanding what you’re up against — and refusing to play by a script that was written to erase you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for tuning inthis week.
Gentlemen, this is probablygoing to be the most important
episode that you listen to thisyear, maybe that you listen to
ever.
We are going to get into atopic called how feminism is
destroying co-parenting.
(00:22):
It is going to be intense andit is going to be raw.
But before we jump in, fellas,let's welcome the new members to
the Divorced Advocate community.
We have quite a few this week.
It is Kyle, paul, jamie, johnny, scott and Jared all new
members of the Divorced Advocatecommunity.
(00:44):
If you are not a member, checkit out at thedivorcedadvocatecom
.
Just Google it or go directlyto thedivorcedadvocatecom.
We've got all kinds ofresources for you there, from
free to paid.
Just get plugged in and get thesupport that you deserve and
(01:04):
that you need there atthedivorcedadvocatecom.
All right, fellas.
How feminism is destroyingco-parenting.
Modern feminism has moved farbeyond equality.
Today it's about control, andnowhere is this more obvious
than in the aftermath of divorce, and nowhere is this more
obvious than in the aftermath ofdivorce In custody courts, in
(01:25):
legal systems and in the cultureitself.
Divorced fathers are beingsystematically pushed aside, not
because they failed theirchildren, but because they don't
fit the feminist-approvednarrative of what a
post-divorced family should looklike.
If you're a father goingthrough divorce or already
fighting to stay in your child'slife, I'm sure you've already
(01:46):
felt this.
You're not just up against anax.
You're up against the culturethat paints men as disposable
and women as default victims, nomatter the facts.
If you stand up for your rights, you're quote unquote
controlling.
If you express frustration,you're dangerous.
If you want shared custody,you're trying to hurt her.
(02:10):
Every movie you make is twistedthrough a lens designed to cast
doubt on your motives andminimize your role.
The system, backed by decadesof feminist legal theory and
cultural propaganda, don't seeyou as a co-equal parent.
It sees you as a liability tobe managed.
And the damage doesn't stopwith you.
(02:31):
Your children are the ones whosuffer the most emotionally,
psychologically anddevelopmentally when ideology is
allowed to override the truth.
They lose not just time withtheir father, but the stability,
identity and love that only astrong, present dad can give.
Fellas, this episode isn'tabout playing victim.
(02:53):
It's about waking up, standingup and fighting smart, because
you can protect your childrenfrom this.
But it starts withunderstanding what you're up
against and refusing to play bya script that was written to
erase you.
So let's talk about how feminismhas poisoned co-parenting.
(03:15):
For decades, feminism haspushed a simple binary Women are
victims, men are oppressors.
This mindset isn't confined tothe workplace or the university.
It follows couples into familycourt, into parenting plans and
into every text or custodyexchange.
(03:38):
And this is the problem now isthat it's getting codified.
Once a marriage ends, thatideology doesn't go away.
It intensifies.
Feminism as it functions today,gives ex-wives a moral license
to treat fathers not asco-parents but as adversaries,
and gives the legal system andpublic culture the framework to
(03:59):
justify it.
Let's break down just how thisshows up, and then I'm going to
talk about how you can combat itNow.
I just want to be clear here,though, that this is not every
single divorce, this is notevery single X, but this is a
theme that has becomefrustrating in the more than
(04:20):
five years that I've beenworking with dads.
That I see as something thathas been the battle for dads to
have to go through nonstop, andit is the default way that
things have been showing up.
And we're going to talk aboutnow how this is showing up,
because you need to be aware ofit, because it underlies and
(04:42):
undergirds everything that youare going to be dealing with or
you are dealing with throughthis process and post-divorce.
Okay, so how does it show up inthe courtrooms?
Feminist legal theory has deeplyinfluenced family law Judges,
guardians ad litem, socialworkers.
Many are trained or guided bymaterial steeped in gender
(05:05):
ideology.
The result Mothers are presumednurturing, fathers are presumed
secondary, even when bothparents worked, even when the
father was active and involved,courts often default to placing
children with the mother.
Also, allegations againstfathers are taken as truth.
You are guilty and proveninnocent Thanks to the
(05:29):
quote-unquote believe all womenmentality.
A baseless accusation canderail a custody case, poison a
father's reputation or lead tosupervised visitation without
evidence.
I see and I hear about thisevery single day, and it's
disgusting.
Fathers must prove their worth.
Mothers are presumed essential.
(05:49):
Fathers are expected to provethey deserve a seat at the table
, and even then it's often asmaller one.
Another way that this shows upis in public opinion Fathers as
villains, mothers as victims.
Public opinion doesn't come outof nowhere.
It's shaped by media, byinstitutions and by decades of
(06:12):
cultural messaging driven byfeminist narratives and, in the
context of divorce and custody,that messaging has turned
fatherhood into something to beviewed with suspicion.
Modern feminism has flooded theculture with one theory women
as the brave protectors ofchildren, men as the potential
(06:33):
threats.
That theory doesn't just harmdads.
It trains everyone, fromneighbors to teachers to judges,
to see fatherhood through abiased lens.
It also shows up withwithholding becomes protection,
but only for mothers.
Let's talk about that.
Withholding becomesquote-unquote protection, but
(06:54):
that's only true for mothers.
When a mother denies a fatheraccess to his children, it's
rarely questioned.
People assume she must have agood reason she's protecting the
children, keeping themquote-unquote safe or
quote-unquote maintainingstability.
No one asks for proof, no onedemands accountability.
(07:14):
But if a father were towithhold his children, even
temporarily or in response toactual harm, the reaction flips
he's controlling, he's dangerous, he is quote-unquote using the
children as a pawn.
The exact same behavior isinterpreted in opposite ways,
solely based on gender.
Another, a father's fight fortime is framed as control.
(07:38):
When men push for sharedcustody, they're often accused
of trying to control their ex orpunisher.
The idea that a father mightgenuinely want to be involved in
his child's life doesn'tcompute in the feminist-shaped
narrative.
The assumption is that hislegal battle must be about his
ego.
His persistence must mean he'sabusive.
(07:59):
His refusal to quote-unquotejust accept limited visitation
proves he's dangerous.
Meanwhile, mothers are praisedsimply for showing up Another
way the media fathers as fools,strangers or threats.
Fathers as fools, strangers orthreats that's how we're
(08:19):
portrayed.
Turn on any action sitcom, anysitcom, any movie, any
commercial and see how fathersare portrayed the dad doesn't
know how to pack a lunch, thedad who forgets the kid's
birthday.
Or the clueless, emotionallystunted goofball who's barely
competent on his own.
These aren't just jokes, fellas.
(08:41):
This is propaganda.
They reinforce the idea thatfathers are less capable, less
nurturing and less essential.
So when a real dad shows up incourt fighting for his rights,
the cultural script is alreadywritten he's either lying, unfit
or unnecessary.
(09:02):
Even so-called positiveportrayals of single fathers
often isolate them, showing themtriumphing despite their
circumstances, not because theywere ever given a fair shot in a
functioning co-parentingrelationship.
What's the real-world impact?
Public perception affectseverything.
(09:24):
We cannot deny that Judges readnews headlines and watch the
same TV shows.
Schools often contact mothersby default, even when fathers
are equally involved.
Friends, family and eventherapists may unconsciously
side with the mother simplybecause they've absorbed the
cultural bias.
It's becoming aself-reinforcing cycle.
(09:45):
Fathers are seen as secondary,treated as secondary and then
blamed for being absent Inrelationships and co-parenting
dynamics.
From partnership to powerstruggle, modern feminism
doesn't end when therelationship ends.
In many cases it escalatespost-divorce.
The feminist framework does notencourage healing, cooperation
(10:08):
or shared parenting.
It promotes control, divisionand dominance under the guise of
quote-unquote empowerment.
Instead of advocating for equalparenting, it teaches many
mothers to treat their formerpartners not as allies in
raising a child, but as threatsto be managed, silenced or
eliminated from the equation.
(10:30):
Another way control isdisguised as empowerment.
I just touched on that.
One of the most toxic exports offeminist ideology in family
life is the idea thatquote-unquote setting boundaries
means total control over thepost-divorce dynamic.
Mothers are told don'tcompromise, don't co-decide,
(10:54):
dictate If your ex disagrees,label it quote-unquote.
Emotional abuse, micromanagingthe father's access, interfering
with his parenting time,dictating who can be around the
kids, interfering with hisparenting time, dictating who
can be around the kids,canceling or modifying parent
plans unilaterally all of it isencouraged as a form of
quote-unquote empowerment.
(11:15):
It's not co-parenting, it'sgatekeeping.
What should be shared decisions, holiday plans, medical
appointments, bedtime routinesare often seized by one parent
and justified by feministnarratives that frame all
parental involvement asintrusive or suspect.
Another is fatherhood isundermined at every turn.
(11:37):
Feminism encourages a subtle, orsometimes overt, devaluation of
the father's role.
The message is clear Dad isoptional.
Let's try that again.
I should show up.
If you can't tell I'm alreadyfired up.
I've been fired up about thisnow for a while and this is the
culmination of all of this Dadis optional, replaceable or
(11:58):
inherently flawed.
This plays out when the motherregisters the child in a new
school without consent.
She unilaterally decides whatdoctor the child sees, what
religion if any religion, Ishould say the child follows, or
whether therapy is needed, withno input from the father.
She dismisses the father'sparenting style as, quote, too
(12:19):
strict or, quote, emotionallyunavailable, even if it's just
different, not harmful.
And that's part of what'sgetting codified which is very,
very dangerous.
And that's part of what'sgetting codified which is very,
very dangerous.
When a father speaks up, asksfor equal say or pushes back,
he's labeled as difficult,controlling or worse, which
we're getting to is abusive.
(12:40):
The result he's pressured tostay quiet, to keep the peace,
sacrificing not just his rightsbut his presence in his child's
life.
And I can't tell you how much Isee this lately, because and it
makes me so angry guys that arejust trying to keep the peace
because they're afraid to losethe little time that they might
(13:00):
already have with their kids.
So this makes the child aweapon.
The most damaging consequence ofthis feminist field dynamic is
that the child stops being aperson and becomes a tool.
It's used to extract moneythrough inflated support demands
.
Used to inflict punishment byrestricting access, spreading
(13:21):
lies or turning them againsttheir father.
Used to gain moral leverage incourt and therapy or among
mutual friends and family.
In this power game, the child'sneeds are no longer central.
The agenda is and we've seenthat over and over again what's
the justification?
Quote unquote I'm doing what'sbest for the child, but in
(13:43):
reality it's often what's bestfor the mother's ego, financial
gain or post-divorce image, andit leaves the child emotionally
torn and developmentallyimbalanced.
So the real victims are yourchildren.
When feminism turns post-divorceparenting into a battlefield,
the real casualties aren't theparents, they're the kids.
(14:03):
They don't care about ideology,the kids, that is.
They don't care about legalstrategies or narratives of
empowerment.
They care about love 't justparental conflict.
It's a slow psychologicalinjury being done to your
(14:34):
children under the banner ofprotecting them.
They grow up with half a parent.
Children need both masculine andfeminine influences.
They need the balance, not justemotionally but developmentally
.
Boys need their fathers tomodel strength, discipline and
(14:55):
identity.
Girls need their fathers tomodel what real male love and
leadership looks like.
We've talked about this on theshow many times.
That is something that only youas a father can provide to your
children.
But when dad is removed, reducedto a visitor or cast as a
threat, that foundation getsripped out from under them.
(15:16):
They may internalize confusion,insecurity or distrust.
They may over-identify with oneparent and reject the other.
They may feel torn betweenloyalty and survival, loving dad
but afraid to show it, and thishappens all the time in
parental alienation.
This leads to long-termemotional instability, identity
(15:38):
confusion where we're seeing aton of this and problems forming
healthy relationships later inlife, which is tragic.
They're denied balance,discipline and perspective.
So let's be blunt about this.
Mothers and fathers parentdifferently, and that's a good
thing.
That is good.
Fathers tend to bring structure, accountability, boundaries and
(16:03):
a different emotional tone thatbalances the household dynamic.
When that's missing, whathappens?
Rules get inconsistent,consequences get blurred,
emotions run the show instead ofvalues and structure.
Kids raised in a one-sidedhousehold are often deprived of
critical life lessons,resilience, delayed
(16:25):
gratification, respect forauthority, because the other
half of the equation has beenlocked out.
We've talked about it manytimes on the show.
All of the studies show thatkids that have fathers that are
involved in their lives haveexponentially higher quality of
adult life than kids that do not.
(16:47):
You are important and necessary, so continue on.
They're taught their father islesser or worse, and this is
where it's getting really badthat they're dangerous.
That's where the damage thereal, real damage is done when
this feminist narrativedominates a mother's approach to
co-parenting.
(17:07):
The messaging to the child isoften subtle but constant.
You hear quotes like Evenwithout these words, this gets
communicated through tone, bodylanguage and omission.
(17:30):
That's big omission.
Dad's opinion isn't considered,his calls are screened, his
gifts or advice are minimized.
The child absorbs this as quote.
My dad must not matter.
Worse still, if the father islabeled dangerous or toxic based
(17:50):
on nothing more thandisagreement or non-compliance
with mother's agenda, the childis trained to fear the very
person who loves themunconditionally.
That's not just manipulation, myfriends.
It's psychological abuse, andit's happening all the time.
It's not just unfair, it'sabused.
(18:11):
But it's abuse that is maskedas ideology.
Let's call it what it isstripping a child of a present
loving father because he doesn'tconform to a feminist approved
mold is not empowerment, it'snot protection, it's not setting
boundaries.
It is not empowerment, it's notprotection.
It's not setting boundaries, itis abuse.
(18:31):
It's abuse of the father but,more critically, it's abuse of
the child.
They are being used asemotional shields, financial
weapons and ideological trophiesin a war that they never, ever
signed up for.
All right, so that is, that iswhat you're up against, that is
(18:55):
what is going on, that's the layof land that you need to be
aware of.
But what can you do as a father?
And so I say and I started thiswith that not to scare you, but
to wake you up you have got tobe awake and aware to what's
going on in the situation.
I know that I am a little bitskewed, because I am in this
(19:19):
every single day, with lots ofdads that are going through
difficult and challenging times.
This isn't every divorce, thisisn't every ex, but this is the
underlying theme, based upon ourculture and our society, that
you are dealing with.
So you've got to be aware ofwhat is going on, and it's based
in feminist ideology.
(19:39):
All right so, but what can youdo as a father?
You're not going to be able todismantle the culture or the
courts in a day, but you are notpowerless.
Your job isn't to whine orsurrender.
As difficult and challenging asthis is, as heartbroken as you
might be, your job is to lead.
(20:01):
Your job is to lead.
Your job is to protect yourchildren.
Your job is to assert yourplace in their lives with
clarity and strength.
Let me tell you again what yourjob is, fellows it is to lead,
protect your children and assertyour place in their lives with
(20:24):
clarity and strength.
So how do you do this?
Assert your role relentlessly,do not stop, do not go away.
Never act like a guest in yourchild's life.
That's exactly how the systemwants you to feel Like.
Your fatherhood is conditional,revocable or optional, and it
(20:46):
is not.
Demand 50-50 custody, notbecause it's quote-unquote fair,
but because it's what your kidsneed.
50-50 custody is what your kidsneed.
Be consistent and present.
Don't just show up.
Invest.
Invest in your kiddos.
Help with their homework, knowtheir teachers, know their
(21:08):
friends, be visible, involvedand irreplaceable.
Don't settle for scraps.
Parenting time is not a reward,fellas to earn.
It's a right to defend.
So if you're not getting it,defend it with your life.
Whatever you need to do, don'ttry to appease a hostile ex.
(21:31):
You can't reason with someonewho's committed to controlling
you.
If your ex uses feministbuzzwords to weaponize the kids
or twist the narrative,recognize it for what it is it's
strategy.
It's not sincerity.
Don't play defense.
Don't over-explain yourself.
Respond calmly andstrategically.
(21:52):
Keep it about the kids and keeprecords.
Stop chasing peace at theexpense of your authority.
Appeasement feeds the fire.
This is a huge one.
I see guys all the time lettingthings slide on parenting plans
to make it okay, to not rockthe boat, and that is the worst
possible thing you can do.
(22:13):
Remember the goal isn't to beliked by your ex, it's to be
respected by your children.
Avoid the just move on crowd.
You don't walk away from yourkids.
You level up and fight better.
You have to level up and fightbetter.
You're not moving on.
(22:34):
It's not about a revenge.
It's about restoration of yourrights, your bond with your
children and the meaning offatherhood itself.
You're not just protecting yourkids from a hostile ex or a
biased system.
You're protecting them from aculture that wants to erase you.
Oh wait, that's a differentsection.
Sorry, final word.
Let me cross that off too, so Idon't screw that up again.
(22:56):
I wrote this all out because Iwanted to be very clear with you
guys about all this.
So let's talk about the factthat this is not.
This is a fight for more thanjust parenting time.
Feminism in its modern,weaponized form hasn't empowered
families.
It's fractured them.
It didn't liberate motherhood,it politicized it.
(23:17):
It hasn't protected children.
It's turned them intobargaining chips in an
ideological warfare.
In the world of post-divorceparenting, the ideology pits
mother against father, labelsauthority as oppression and
turns healthy fatherhood intosomething to be feared or
sidelined.
And the cost?
Kids will grow up confusedabout what love looks like.
(23:40):
Boys who never learn how tolead, girls who never learn what
to expect from a good man,generations raised without the
anchor only a father can provideand only you can provide.
Let's be clear your job as afather isn't just to navigate
the system or to cope.
That is survival, and survivalisn't enough.
(24:04):
You're here to push back, todisrupt the narrative, to
reclaim what the culture wantsto strip away your role, your
name and your relationship withyour children.
So don't apologize for showingup.
Don't shrink yourself to makeothers feel comfortable.
Don't stay silent while thestory is being written without
(24:27):
you and don't wait forpermission to be the father your
kids need.
Control the narrative.
You're not just fighting fortime.
You're fighting for your name,your reputation, your role and
your legacy.
Document everything, everyexchange, every denied visit,
every manipulative message.
(24:47):
Assume everything will end upin court someday and be ready.
You are preparing yourself allthe time.
Keep communication clean, shortand factual no sarcasm, no
emotion, no rants.
Let her look unhinged next toyour calm and then stand your
ground in every space and thisis going to be important In
(25:08):
school and in court and intherapy with dignity and facts.
Never let your absence, silenceor hesitation.
Tell your story for you and thenteach your children to think
critically.
Your kids are being fed subtleand sometimes direct lies about
you, about men and about whatlove and leadership looks like.
(25:32):
Your response live the truth infront of them.
Let me say that again.
What do you do?
How do you respond?
You live the truth in front ofthem.
You show up on time, you followthrough, you tell the truth,
you speak well of their mother,even when she doesn't deserve it
.
That's how you show strength,not by tearing down, but by
(25:53):
modeling maturity.
Call out nonsense, gently butclearly.
Teach your kids to askquestions, to think, to look
beyond slogans and see character.
They'll figure it out becauseyou lived it and then connect
with other men who get it.
You're not the only one goingthrough this, but you might feel
(26:14):
like you are if you're isolated.
That's not a mistake.
That's part of the system.
That's a design.
Divide men and disempower them.
Don't fall for it.
Guys.
Find strong fathers, notpassive victims, men who don't
just vent, but fight smart.
You're not going to find thaton social media, in some of
(26:36):
these forums.
Join private groups, networksor healthy forums where fathers
share strategy and legal tips,court prep, emotional tools and
real support.
That's why we have the DivorceAdvocate Community.
That's why you should getinvolved with it.
That's what we do every singleday, week, month of the year.
(26:59):
Gentlemen, stand your ground,speak the truth, act like your
children's future depends on it,because I'm telling you it does
and never, never, let a brokenideology steal your children
from you.
Fellas, I hope that was helpfulfor you.
I know that that was a lot.
(27:19):
Go back, listen to it again,please.
This is what you're up against,but this is also how you can
fight it.
Everything that we do here inthe Divorce Davoc community is
meant to support you in all ofthis.
We've got thousands ofthousands of guys that have been
through the community, that areinvolved in the community, from
(27:41):
everywhere in the country, allacross the world, that are
dealing with this, and we wantyou to be part of this.
We want you to get the supportthat you need and that you
deserve.
So become part of the community.
If you found value in what youheard today, please share it
with another dad that might begoing through a divorce.
(28:02):
Share it far and wide on yoursocial media.
Give us a star rating, give usa comment.
Do something that is not onlygoing to help yourself, but help
other dads as well.
And, as always, thank you somuch for listening.
I sincerely appreciate it andhave a blessed week.
Hello and welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for tuning inthis week.
Gentlemen, this is probablygoing to be the most important
episode that you listen to thisyear, maybe that you listen to
ever.
We are going to get into atopic called how feminism is
destroying co-parenting.
(00:22):
It is going to be intense andit is going to be raw.
But before we jump in, fellas,let's welcome the new members to
the Divorced Advocate community.
We have quite a few this week.
It is Kyle, paul, jamie, johnny, scott and Jared all new
members of the Divorced Advocatecommunity.
(00:44):
If you are not a member, checkit out at thedivorcedadvocatecom
.
Just Google it or go directlyto thedivorcedadvocatecom.
We've got all kinds ofresources for you there, from
free to paid.
Just get plugged in and get thesupport that you deserve and
(01:04):
that you need there atthedivorcedadvocatecom.
All right, fellas.
How feminism is destroyingco-parenting.
Modern feminism has moved farbeyond equality.
Today it's about control, andnowhere is this more obvious
than in the aftermath of divorce, and nowhere is this more
obvious than in the aftermath ofdivorce In custody courts, in
(01:25):
legal systems and in the cultureitself.
Divorced fathers are beingsystematically pushed aside, not
because they failed theirchildren, but because they don't
fit the feminist-approvednarrative of what a
post-divorced family should looklike.
If you're a father goingthrough divorce or already
fighting to stay in your child'slife, I'm sure you've already
(01:46):
felt this.
You're not just up against anax.
You're up against the culturethat paints men as disposable
and women as default victims, nomatter the facts.
If you stand up for your rights, you're quote unquote
controlling.
If you express frustration,you're dangerous.
If you want shared custody,you're trying to hurt her.
(02:10):
Every movie you make is twistedthrough a lens designed to cast
doubt on your motives andminimize your role.
The system, backed by decadesof feminist legal theory and
cultural propaganda, don't seeyou as a co-equal parent.
It sees you as a liability tobe managed.
And the damage doesn't stopwith you.
(02:31):
Your children are the ones whosuffer the most emotionally,
psychologically anddevelopmentally when ideology is
allowed to override the truth.
They lose not just time withtheir father, but the stability,
identity and love that only astrong, present dad can give.
Fellas, this episode isn'tabout playing victim.
(02:53):
It's about waking up, standingup and fighting smart, because
you can protect your childrenfrom this.
But it starts withunderstanding what you're up
against and refusing to play bya script that was written to
erase you.
So let's talk about how feminismhas poisoned co-parenting.
(03:15):
For decades, feminism haspushed a simple binary Women are
victims, men are oppressors.
This mindset isn't confined tothe workplace or the university.
It follows couples into familycourt, into parenting plans and
into every text or custodyexchange.
(03:38):
And this is the problem now isthat it's getting codified.
Once a marriage ends, thatideology doesn't go away.
It intensifies.
Feminism as it functions today,gives ex-wives a moral license
to treat fathers not asco-parents but as adversaries,
and gives the legal system andpublic culture the framework to
(03:59):
justify it.
Let's break down just how thisshows up, and then I'm going to
talk about how you can combat itNow.
I just want to be clear here,though, that this is not every
single divorce, this is notevery single X, but this is a
theme that has becomefrustrating in the more than
(04:20):
five years that I've beenworking with dads.
That I see as something thathas been the battle for dads to
have to go through nonstop, andit is the default way that
things have been showing up.
And we're going to talk aboutnow how this is showing up,
because you need to be aware ofit, because it underlies and
(04:42):
undergirds everything that youare going to be dealing with or
you are dealing with throughthis process and post-divorce.
Okay, so how does it show up inthe courtrooms?
Feminist legal theory has deeplyinfluenced family law Judges,
guardians ad litem, socialworkers.
Many are trained or guided bymaterial steeped in gender
(05:05):
ideology.
The result Mothers are presumednurturing, fathers are presumed
secondary, even when bothparents worked, even when the
father was active and involved,courts often default to placing
children with the mother.
Also, allegations againstfathers are taken as truth.
You are guilty and proveninnocent Thanks to the
(05:29):
quote-unquote believe all womenmentality.
A baseless accusation canderail a custody case, poison a
father's reputation or lead tosupervised visitation without
evidence.
I see and I hear about thisevery single day, and it's
disgusting.
Fathers must prove their worth.
Mothers are presumed essential.
(05:49):
Fathers are expected to provethey deserve a seat at the table
, and even then it's often asmaller one.
Another way that this shows upis in public opinion Fathers as
villains, mothers as victims.
Public opinion doesn't come outof nowhere.
It's shaped by media, byinstitutions and by decades of
(06:12):
cultural messaging driven byfeminist narratives and, in the
context of divorce and custody,that messaging has turned
fatherhood into something to beviewed with suspicion.
Modern feminism has flooded theculture with one theory women
as the brave protectors ofchildren, men as the potential
(06:33):
threats.
That theory doesn't just harmdads.
It trains everyone, fromneighbors to teachers to judges,
to see fatherhood through abiased lens.
It also shows up withwithholding becomes protection,
but only for mothers.
Let's talk about that.
Withholding becomesquote-unquote protection, but
(06:54):
that's only true for mothers.
When a mother denies a fatheraccess to his children, it's
rarely questioned.
People assume she must have agood reason she's protecting the
children, keeping themquote-unquote safe or
quote-unquote maintainingstability.
No one asks for proof, no onedemands accountability.
(07:14):
But if a father were towithhold his children, even
temporarily or in response toactual harm, the reaction flips
he's controlling, he's dangerous, he is quote-unquote using the
children as a pawn.
The exact same behavior isinterpreted in opposite ways,
solely based on gender.
Another, a father's fight fortime is framed as control.
(07:38):
When men push for sharedcustody, they're often accused
of trying to control their ex orpunisher.
The idea that a father mightgenuinely want to be involved in
his child's life doesn'tcompute in the feminist-shaped
narrative.
The assumption is that hislegal battle must be about his
ego.
His persistence must mean he'sabusive.
(07:59):
His refusal to quote-unquotejust accept limited visitation
proves he's dangerous.
Meanwhile, mothers are praisedsimply for showing up Another
way the media fathers as fools,strangers or threats.
Fathers as fools, strangers orthreats that's how we're
(08:19):
portrayed.
Turn on any action sitcom, anysitcom, any movie, any
commercial and see how fathersare portrayed the dad doesn't
know how to pack a lunch, thedad who forgets the kid's
birthday.
Or the clueless, emotionallystunted goofball who's barely
competent on his own.
These aren't just jokes, fellas.
(08:41):
This is propaganda.
They reinforce the idea thatfathers are less capable, less
nurturing and less essential.
So when a real dad shows up incourt fighting for his rights,
the cultural script is alreadywritten he's either lying, unfit
or unnecessary.
(09:02):
Even so-called positiveportrayals of single fathers
often isolate them, showing themtriumphing despite their
circumstances, not because theywere ever given a fair shot in a
functioning co-parentingrelationship.
What's the real-world impact?
Public perception affectseverything.
(09:24):
We cannot deny that Judges readnews headlines and watch the
same TV shows.
Schools often contact mothersby default, even when fathers
are equally involved.
Friends, family and eventherapists may unconsciously
side with the mother simplybecause they've absorbed the
cultural bias.
It's becoming aself-reinforcing cycle.
(09:45):
Fathers are seen as secondary,treated as secondary and then
blamed for being absent Inrelationships and co-parenting
dynamics.
From partnership to powerstruggle, modern feminism
doesn't end when therelationship ends.
In many cases it escalatespost-divorce.
The feminist framework does notencourage healing, cooperation
(10:08):
or shared parenting.
It promotes control, divisionand dominance under the guise of
quote-unquote empowerment.
Instead of advocating for equalparenting, it teaches many
mothers to treat their formerpartners not as allies in
raising a child, but as threatsto be managed, silenced or
eliminated from the equation.
(10:30):
Another way control isdisguised as empowerment.
I just touched on that.
One of the most toxic exports offeminist ideology in family
life is the idea thatquote-unquote setting boundaries
means total control over thepost-divorce dynamic.
Mothers are told don'tcompromise, don't co-decide,
(10:54):
dictate If your ex disagrees,label it quote-unquote.
Emotional abuse, micromanagingthe father's access, interfering
with his parenting time,dictating who can be around the
kids, interfering with hisparenting time, dictating who
can be around the kids,canceling or modifying parent
plans unilaterally all of it isencouraged as a form of
quote-unquote empowerment.
(11:15):
It's not co-parenting, it'sgatekeeping.
What should be shared decisions, holiday plans, medical
appointments, bedtime routinesare often seized by one parent
and justified by feministnarratives that frame all
parental involvement asintrusive or suspect.
Another is fatherhood isundermined at every turn.
(11:37):
Feminism encourages a subtle, orsometimes overt, devaluation of
the father's role.
The message is clear Dad isoptional.
Let's try that again.
I should show up.
If you can't tell I'm alreadyfired up.
I've been fired up about thisnow for a while and this is the
culmination of all of this Dadis optional, replaceable or
(11:58):
inherently flawed.
This plays out when the motherregisters the child in a new
school without consent.
She unilaterally decides whatdoctor the child sees, what
religion if any religion, Ishould say the child follows, or
whether therapy is needed, withno input from the father.
She dismisses the father'sparenting style as, quote, too
(12:19):
strict or, quote, emotionallyunavailable, even if it's just
different, not harmful.
And that's part of what'sgetting codified which is very,
very dangerous.
And that's part of what'sgetting codified which is very,
very dangerous.
When a father speaks up, asksfor equal say or pushes back,
he's labeled as difficult,controlling or worse, which
we're getting to is abusive.
(12:40):
The result he's pressured tostay quiet, to keep the peace,
sacrificing not just his rightsbut his presence in his child's
life.
And I can't tell you how much Isee this lately, because and it
makes me so angry guys that arejust trying to keep the peace
because they're afraid to losethe little time that they might
(13:00):
already have with their kids.
So this makes the child aweapon.
The most damaging consequence ofthis feminist field dynamic is
that the child stops being aperson and becomes a tool.
It's used to extract moneythrough inflated support demands
.
Used to inflict punishment byrestricting access, spreading
(13:21):
lies or turning them againsttheir father.
Used to gain moral leverage incourt and therapy or among
mutual friends and family.
In this power game, the child'sneeds are no longer central.
The agenda is and we've seenthat over and over again what's
the justification?
Quote unquote I'm doing what'sbest for the child, but in
(13:43):
reality it's often what's bestfor the mother's ego, financial
gain or post-divorce image, andit leaves the child emotionally
torn and developmentallyimbalanced.
So the real victims are yourchildren.
When feminism turns post-divorceparenting into a battlefield,
the real casualties aren't theparents, they're the kids.
(14:03):
They don't care about ideology,the kids, that is.
They don't care about legalstrategies or narratives of
empowerment.
They care about love 't justparental conflict.
It's a slow psychologicalinjury being done to your
(14:34):
children under the banner ofprotecting them.
They grow up with half a parent.
Children need both masculine andfeminine influences.
They need the balance, not justemotionally but developmentally
.
Boys need their fathers tomodel strength, discipline and
(14:55):
identity.
Girls need their fathers tomodel what real male love and
leadership looks like.
We've talked about this on theshow many times.
That is something that only youas a father can provide to your
children.
But when dad is removed, reducedto a visitor or cast as a
threat, that foundation getsripped out from under them.
(15:16):
They may internalize confusion,insecurity or distrust.
They may over-identify with oneparent and reject the other.
They may feel torn betweenloyalty and survival, loving dad
but afraid to show it, and thishappens all the time in
parental alienation.
This leads to long-termemotional instability, identity
(15:38):
confusion where we're seeing aton of this and problems forming
healthy relationships later inlife, which is tragic.
They're denied balance,discipline and perspective.
So let's be blunt about this.
Mothers and fathers parentdifferently, and that's a good
thing.
That is good.
Fathers tend to bring structure, accountability, boundaries and
(16:03):
a different emotional tone thatbalances the household dynamic.
When that's missing, whathappens?
Rules get inconsistent,consequences get blurred,
emotions run the show instead ofvalues and structure.
Kids raised in a one-sidedhousehold are often deprived of
critical life lessons,resilience, delayed
(16:25):
gratification, respect forauthority, because the other
half of the equation has beenlocked out.
We've talked about it manytimes on the show.
All of the studies show thatkids that have fathers that are
involved in their lives haveexponentially higher quality of
adult life than kids that do not.
(16:47):
You are important and necessary, so continue on.
They're taught their father islesser or worse, and this is
where it's getting really badthat they're dangerous.
That's where the damage thereal, real damage is done when
this feminist narrativedominates a mother's approach to
co-parenting.
(17:07):
The messaging to the child isoften subtle but constant.
You hear quotes like Evenwithout these words, this gets
communicated through tone, bodylanguage and omission.
(17:30):
That's big omission.
Dad's opinion isn't considered,his calls are screened, his
gifts or advice are minimized.
The child absorbs this as quote.
My dad must not matter.
Worse still, if the father islabeled dangerous or toxic based
(17:50):
on nothing more thandisagreement or non-compliance
with mother's agenda, the childis trained to fear the very
person who loves themunconditionally.
That's not just manipulation, myfriends.
It's psychological abuse, andit's happening all the time.
It's not just unfair, it'sabused.
(18:11):
But it's abuse that is maskedas ideology.
Let's call it what it isstripping a child of a present
loving father because he doesn'tconform to a feminist approved
mold is not empowerment, it'snot protection, it's not setting
boundaries.
It is not empowerment, it's notprotection.
It's not setting boundaries, itis abuse.
(18:31):
It's abuse of the father but,more critically, it's abuse of
the child.
They are being used asemotional shields, financial
weapons and ideological trophiesin a war that they never, ever
signed up for.
All right, so that is, that iswhat you're up against, that is
(18:55):
what is going on, that's the layof land that you need to be
aware of.
But what can you do as a father?
And so I say and I started thiswith that not to scare you, but
to wake you up you have got tobe awake and aware to what's
going on in the situation.
I know that I am a little bitskewed, because I am in this
(19:19):
every single day, with lots ofdads that are going through
difficult and challenging times.
This isn't every divorce, thisisn't every ex, but this is the
underlying theme, based upon ourculture and our society, that
you are dealing with.
So you've got to be aware ofwhat is going on, and it's based
in feminist ideology.
(19:39):
All right so, but what can youdo as a father?
You're not going to be able todismantle the culture or the
courts in a day, but you are notpowerless.
Your job isn't to whine orsurrender.
As difficult and challenging asthis is, as heartbroken as you
might be, your job is to lead.
(20:01):
Your job is to lead.
Your job is to protect yourchildren.
Your job is to assert yourplace in their lives with
clarity and strength.
Let me tell you again what yourjob is, fellows it is to lead,
protect your children and assertyour place in their lives with
(20:24):
clarity and strength.
So how do you do this?
Assert your role relentlessly,do not stop, do not go away.
Never act like a guest in yourchild's life.
That's exactly how the systemwants you to feel Like.
Your fatherhood is conditional,revocable or optional, and it
(20:46):
is not.
Demand 50-50 custody, notbecause it's quote-unquote fair,
but because it's what your kidsneed.
50-50 custody is what your kidsneed.
Be consistent and present.
Don't just show up.
Invest.
Invest in your kiddos.
Help with their homework, knowtheir teachers, know their
(21:08):
friends, be visible, involvedand irreplaceable.
Don't settle for scraps.
Parenting time is not a reward,fellas to earn.
It's a right to defend.
So if you're not getting it,defend it with your life.
Whatever you need to do, don'ttry to appease a hostile ex.
(21:31):
You can't reason with someonewho's committed to controlling
you.
If your ex uses feministbuzzwords to weaponize the kids
or twist the narrative,recognize it for what it is it's
strategy.
It's not sincerity.
Don't play defense.
Don't over-explain yourself.
Respond calmly andstrategically.
(21:52):
Keep it about the kids and keeprecords.
Stop chasing peace at theexpense of your authority.
Appeasement feeds the fire.
This is a huge one.
I see guys all the time lettingthings slide on parenting plans
to make it okay, to not rockthe boat, and that is the worst
possible thing you can do.
(22:13):
Remember the goal isn't to beliked by your ex, it's to be
respected by your children.
Avoid the just move on crowd.
You don't walk away from yourkids.
You level up and fight better.
You have to level up and fightbetter.
You're not moving on.
(22:34):
It's not about a revenge.
It's about restoration of yourrights, your bond with your
children and the meaning offatherhood itself.
You're not just protecting yourkids from a hostile ex or a
biased system.
You're protecting them from aculture that wants to erase you.
Oh wait, that's a differentsection.
Sorry, final word.
Let me cross that off too, so Idon't screw that up again.
(22:56):
I wrote this all out because Iwanted to be very clear with you
guys about all this.
So let's talk about the factthat this is not.
This is a fight for more thanjust parenting time.
Feminism in its modern,weaponized form hasn't empowered
families.
It's fractured them.
It didn't liberate motherhood,it politicized it.
(23:17):
It hasn't protected children.
It's turned them intobargaining chips in an
ideological warfare.
In the world of post-divorceparenting, the ideology pits
mother against father, labelsauthority as oppression and
turns healthy fatherhood intosomething to be feared or
sidelined.
And the cost?
Kids will grow up confusedabout what love looks like.
(23:40):
Boys who never learn how tolead, girls who never learn what
to expect from a good man,generations raised without the
anchor only a father can provideand only you can provide.
Let's be clear your job as afather isn't just to navigate
the system or to cope.
That is survival, and survivalisn't enough.
(24:04):
You're here to push back, todisrupt the narrative, to
reclaim what the culture wantsto strip away your role, your
name and your relationship withyour children.
So don't apologize for showingup.
Don't shrink yourself to makeothers feel comfortable.
Don't stay silent while thestory is being written without
(24:27):
you and don't wait forpermission to be the father your
kids need.
Control the narrative.
You're not just fighting fortime.
You're fighting for your name,your reputation, your role and
your legacy.
Document everything, everyexchange, every denied visit,
every manipulative message.
(24:47):
Assume everything will end upin court someday and be ready.
You are preparing yourself allthe time.
Keep communication clean, shortand factual no sarcasm, no
emotion, no rants.
Let her look unhinged next toyour calm and then stand your
ground in every space and thisis going to be important In
(25:08):
school and in court and intherapy with dignity and facts.
Never let your absence, silenceor hesitation.
Tell your story for you and thenteach your children to think
critically.
Your kids are being fed subtleand sometimes direct lies about
you, about men and about whatlove and leadership looks like.
(25:32):
Your response live the truth infront of them.
Let me say that again.
What do you do?
How do you respond?
You live the truth in front ofthem.
You show up on time, you followthrough, you tell the truth,
you speak well of their mother,even when she doesn't deserve it
.
That's how you show strength,not by tearing down, but by
(25:53):
modeling maturity.
Call out nonsense, gently butclearly.
Teach your kids to askquestions, to think, to look
beyond slogans and see character.
They'll figure it out becauseyou lived it and then connect
with other men who get it.
You're not the only one goingthrough this, but you might feel
(26:14):
like you are if you're isolated.
That's not a mistake.
That's part of the system.
That's a design.
Divide men and disempower them.
Don't fall for it.
Guys.
Find strong fathers, notpassive victims, men who don't
just vent, but fight smart.
You're not going to find thaton social media, in some of
(26:36):
these forums.
Join private groups, networksor healthy forums where fathers
share strategy and legal tips,court prep, emotional tools and
real support.
That's why we have the DivorceAdvocate Community.
That's why you should getinvolved with it.
That's what we do every singleday, week, month of the year.
(26:59):
Gentlemen, stand your ground,speak the truth, act like your
children's future depends on it,because I'm telling you it does
and never, never, let a brokenideology steal your children
from you.
Fellas, I hope that was helpfulfor you.
I know that that was a lot.
(27:19):
Go back, listen to it again,please.
This is what you're up against,but this is also how you can
fight it.
Everything that we do here inthe Divorce Davoc community is
meant to support you in all ofthis.
We've got thousands ofthousands of guys that have been
through the community, that areinvolved in the community, from
(27:41):
everywhere in the country, allacross the world, that are
dealing with this, and we wantyou to be part of this.
We want you to get the supportthat you need and that you
deserve.
So become part of the community.
If you found value in what youheard today, please share it
with another dad that might begoing through a divorce.
(28:02):
Share it far and wide on yoursocial media.
Give us a star rating, give usa comment.
Do something that is not onlygoing to help yourself, but help
other dads as well.
And, as always, thank you somuch for listening.
I sincerely appreciate it andhave a blessed week.
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