September 2, 2025 • 17 mins
The Professor and Chuck D face off on public play “points”: does joining the Mile High Club really score higher, or is two-woman in-seat action riskier (and hotter)? From movie theater tactics to afterparty burnout, orgy suite debates, and the line between soft and full swap — this 16-minute micro pulls no punches.
- Scoring “points” by risk vs. location
- Mile High vs. in-seat — which really counts?
- Noon movie theater tricks and boundaries
- Orgy suite vs. bedtime rules
- Soft swap, full swap, and the sunshine digression
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, for all you young games out there, if you ain't 18
yet, this ain't your game yet. This is for adults only, and
adults don't take this shit serious.
This is for entertainment, educational purposes only.
This is not law. All right, I'm glad we saved the
producer, though, from his Noel story.
We saved our podcast from the Noel story.
We didn't want to hear it in A Little House on the Prairie.
(00:20):
Fucking like she still got on the dress and the bonnet.
You got a better one? I'll let you save yourself,
producer. Give me one more without a Noel
or fucking pond in it. I mean, I've done it outdoors,
I've done it in the car, I've done it in the dressing room,
bathrooms, the pool table. Where's your dressing room at?
JC Penney's Kohl's. Nice.
(00:41):
I did it at Mall of America in the family bathroom, one
downstairs. Like, you know, you go in the
family bathroom and you lock that door.
My I have a ton of them at the bar we used to do the meet and
greets at. I used to take people.
There was that fake wall that separated the old.
Bowl Everybody fucks at the parties.
And then the other stuff was after the bar closed like I
fucked on the pool table. I had a threesome in the middle
(01:03):
of the bar, but the the bar was closed at that point.
You know what? So I've said the ones that mean
the Dean did, those are probablythe best ones just because you
guys know the Dean. You know, if you picture the
Dean now, you can't picture her doing no bullshit like that.
But I would say some of the bestlifestyle ones, a lot of
nightclubs, I've done a lot of like open nightclub stuff.
(01:27):
I haven't done a movie theater yet, but it.
Is I've done a movie theater, you got to go at noon, all
right? Always go.
Ahead and done movies. Yeah, look at the, look at the
listings, like who ain't making no money?
Like we and we sat right over. You know how they have that?
If you're in Minnesota, most of them have like when you walk in,
there's a ledge, like you're at the very top, right when you
walk in, there's a ledge that you can look and you can see.
(01:48):
When the little worker dude comes in, you know, you got the
door off and you tell him, wear a skirt.
Meet me in the movie theater. Boom, plow.
But yeah, movie theaters. Good one for you.
And I mean like full sacks. I've done oral and shit like
that in the movie there, but I like I.
Want fucking I don't want no like little Rd. head here and
there like my brother the Princefucks with me all the time
because I'm not a member at a Mile High club.
(02:09):
I was like Nah do trains count? He's like, he was like, no,
that's. Modernly, in 1920, they did.
So I said do handies count 'cause listen, I got some cool
shit. I got a handy from my wife and
my girlfriend at the same time In a airplane he goes yeah, but
I had he fucked. He is Mile High club.
(02:31):
He fucked on an airplane. He was on an airplane during
COVID. Went in the fucking back with
his girlfriend then and she confirmed it.
This how I know you ain't lying 'cause she confirmed it.
OK, listen Chuck D, let me ask you this.
Do you consider a handsy by two women on a flight as cool as
going in the bathroom and fucking in the Mile High club?
No Mile High Club because there's a lot more people that I
(02:52):
think no because they're lookingfor that shit.
I'm right though, I'm in the public I ain't behind a closed
door. I'm right there with two and
people's already wondering why I'm kissing on 2 girls and I got
2 girls laying on my head, but I'm getting a handsy.
I'm in the mix of oh, flight attendant could come up and be
like, hey motherfucker, the pilot can announce like no
handsies. Anything could happen.
(03:13):
I'm gonna. Make credit for that over going
into a locked bathroom or the worst you're gonna get is a
knock on the door that says get the fuck.
Out, get the fuck out. And then I can be like, oh, she
was sick. I'm out in the public Dick hard
outs. I plow.
I splooge too. And you could technically be
fine for public indecency at that point.
So the risk. There's a fucking Air Marshall
on there. All that shit could happen to
(03:33):
me. I'm I listen.
New debate, controversial Tuesdays.
I think mine was riskier than Mile High Club.
I would agree. I think that's riskier than the
Mile High Club. Because people are waiting
sometimes outside the door of the of the restaurant.
I could have been given her insolent shots in there like.
Yeah. But listen, you come walking out
of a out of the airplane, everyone you know, you might
(03:53):
have some people that will be disgusted, but everyone else is
like, yeah, we. Know what you were doing?
That's what I'm talking. Everyone wants to be in the Mile
High Club. What's?
The hang at the ball, the. Building.
Yes, like listen. Chuck, get on board handsy about
two women is equal tantamount. Now 2.
Now you got to take it to the next level though.
What blowjob in the season? Listen, listen, listen.
(04:15):
No, no, no, no, no. I got a baby blowsy like she
did. Give me this.
It wasn't all handsy. It was everything but fucking.
Let's just say I think mine was riskier.
Let's write in. Let's do the how much they'll
say fucking show notes. Put in a show notes.
If you think we'll have a poll, see, I think if the chances of
getting caught is higher, then that makes it the most risky and
(04:37):
that's how you get the point. I don't think it matters so much
where it's the risk level. I agree.
Like you can be in a bath, you can be in a change room room and
a half empty JC Penney's nowadays and who?
Who's going to? Everybody's posting pictures on
AC and D like change room fucking like that's Bush league,
that's minor league type shit. That's the Saints.
I was doing 20. Times she crawls under She
(04:58):
crawls under the booth in a busyrestaurant and gives you a blow.
V There's some good points. Right there.
There's points I give, I give you that.
There's points. Chuck, listen, how many points
I'll be getting out here? Stadium pizza, That was points.
How many times I fuck in the game?
90s points, points, points. I listen to my Sri Lankan.
Oh my God, Oh my God. But we had a phone party once
(05:20):
down there. The phone's all up and the mass
Sri Lankan is sitting on the stage and his his wife is on his
lap and he comes over to me. He goes, thank you so much.
That was the best sex I've had all year.
I was like, would you over therefucking?
What are you doing? He's standing up fucking in the
phone. I gave it to the mad Sri Lankan.
He got lucky. Too.
He's crazy. He's she.
(05:41):
Well, you know, we could never have.
He fucks everywhere. Yeah, she she goes along with
it, She. And you don't think she's as
crazy as he is, But he sends me pictures of places like
cornfields, highways on the dotted, on the dotted line and
the center line fucking the mastery.
Longan is probably we should have them on talking about
public fucking, how to get away with mastery.
Longan's wife is an exhibitionist.
(06:03):
So he gets away with this shit more than we do.
Like, the Dean ain't doing this.The Dean ain't doing none of
that. Well, those are two different
people though. Me and the Dean have not had
water sex. We have a pool.
We have not had water sex with each other or others.
I'm lying, she told me. That well, that's gross.
You don't have sex in a in a, ina swimming pool.
That's gross. You know how many germs and
(06:24):
bacteria are in there And and I mean the woman's inner workings
has already have enough problemsgoing on.
We don't. You don't need to introduce
more. It's not that I don't have sex
in my hot tub. I've never had sex in my hot tub
or my pool. I've never.
But water sex is terrible to me.I fucking hate water.
Any water sex shower. Although I tore some shit up in
(06:44):
the tub last year and I was likedamn that was good for water sex
but I wasn't trying to it just happened.
I was just into the rubs and suds and shit but it sex in suit
but water sex as a whole is garbage.
I just. Have chunk, it takes away all
the natural lubricant. And you need that natural
lubricant. Motherfucker just tried to have
me have some shower sex this weekend and I was like Nah.
Now I have had some showers where you have like the little
(07:06):
stools and the holding bars and that like in hotels, those you
can't help yourself because you got nice space and they
basically set it up for you. I had some hot stuff in the
shower before and fell asleep. We laid down in the shower
because I wasn't having water sex.
Like, no, water sex is garbage. I'm never going to come from
water sex ever. So all right, I got a question
(07:26):
for you guys. This comes up from one of the
other podcasts that we were talking on and Chuck said he was
talking about soft swapping and shit.
Chuck, I got a question. Would you rather soft swap with
the number one pick of the night?
You know what I mean? The one you've been looking at
all night like that's that thing.
Would you rather soft swap with that one or full swap?
(07:47):
Take one for the team with your lady.
Full swap. You said that was no fucking
hesitation. Yeah, I'm not wasting my time.
Come on now, I didn't shave my balls or my ass cracked.
You didn't shave. Them get a haircut.
And you didn't? Get that?
I didn't do all that, yeah, I didn't do all that just so I can
soft swap. I can do that at home.
Listen though, listen, let me let me rephrase this for Chuck.
(08:09):
Let me rephrase this for Chuck. Soft swap with your sunshine or
full swap with take one for the team.
That's not the buzz off. You might have buzzed a team.
Not up, man. That's not fair.
You can't ask. Questions.
You can't ask questions like that.
You can't ask questions like that.
Moving on, next question. Next question to Chuck's.
(08:30):
Defend. I was thinking it depends on
like, how much do I want this girl?
Like how long? Like there's a few girls that I
would look at and go, listen, I've been chasing this girl for
years. I would take that one.
Sunshine. I'll put myself in some.
What about sunshine? No.
Do you tell us, Chuck? You tell.
Well, I, I think the listeners probably should they, I mean,
(08:52):
I'm not going to say too much, but I would say not everyone has
a sunshine. But some of us, you, you know,
you have a sunshine and the sunshine is someone other than,
well, let's just say your sunshine is probably the best
ever, ever. It's not like Harlem nights when
we say sunshine. It's like the movie Harlem
nights when the when the white dude got some of that black tail
and he called home, he was like,yeah, baby, I ain't coming home.
(09:14):
Tell the kids and the dog I lovethem peace.
And he hung up the phone. That's sunshine.
Yeah. Chuck had a sunshine gone now,
of course, but This is why I said that.
That's why I rephrase it. He was like way too quick, like
full swap. And I was like, Nah, let me put
some fucking risk in the game for his ass.
Some skin in the game. And I say, if it was your
sunshine, would you just play a little huggy kissy face or full
(09:36):
swap with I could be home watching the game right now.
Oh. That's just unfair.
That's unfair question to ask me.
That's like you. That's like me asking you, man,
like, 'cause you know your wife listens.
What? You gonna have me.
What you gonna have me? Is the best sex you ever had
someone other than your wife? Well, listen.
(09:58):
To be fair, we talked. Who is to be fair, we talked
about this. We talked about this and my
wife. Answered it, the Dean.
Answered it, Yeah, the Dean answered it, but I'm going to
answer it even because listen, me and my wife talk about this
shit. Didn't ain't no fucking you
ain't get me with no smoking gunmotherfucker.
Look. Maybe the different thing is al
arrange, maybe not. The difference is feelings.
(10:22):
If you got feelings for a motherfucker, it don't count,
you know what I mean? If you got feelings for a
motherfucker, we making love, you know what I mean?
Motherfucker that I met on a Saturday night, we had a good
time and we went back to the room.
Then you got to those are all the people that are in the
category and there's only there,there's a there's a chief rocker
in that category and there's somebody close, you know what I
mean? But outside of feelings, yeah, I
(10:45):
could. I could pinpoint who is in the
top five easy. And yeah, fuck yeah, I could
pinpoint who's in the top five easy without feelings.
Like, meaning that you are my girlfriend.
Like we wasn't kicking it. None of that shit.
You got to be outside of them, people.
I could tell you the top five, hands down.
(11:05):
So you're right, Chuck D, it's an unfair question for me to ask
you that. That's unfair.
There's. An unfair question for Master
that 'cause there was feeling I answered my own question.
You're. Right.
See, there you go. Take a bat.
You bullshit though, you know you bull.
Whatever, man. The reality of the case is is
(11:25):
that all three of us would probably just go to bed that
night. Fuck.
Yeah, when soft swabbing went onbefore I ever fell asleep in the
corner. Mother God, whenever like y'all
do y'all thing I fell asleep forreal in the corner.
I was on several soft swap. Sessions, What's your down and
dirty time? The Professor I got to be down
and dirty by what time? Listen, it's hard for me because
I got to be there until at leastmidnight.
(11:47):
OK, let's assume you're not hosting.
Let's assume you're just there. What's your down and dirty?
Oh, if I'm hosting, I'm I need to have my plans done by
midnight. Like we got to be going
upstairs. If I just go to like a
convention or I'm at heat or something like I'm not partying
after midnight now the Dean, theDean is shut the club down.
Like the Dean will be there tillthe lights come on.
I'm like, come on, man, We got to go.
(12:09):
Like we have missed out on everything.
Like she's like, no, let's one more dance.
I'm like and several of my girlfriends were shut the club
eat down type people. Then I'm just like, we want to
do this. We got to get out of here by
midnight. Girls didn't.
Have Chuck, What's your down anddirty time, preferably?
Yeah, what I. Prefer 30.
Yeah. Oh geez.
No, because I mean the party I. Mean for the right, for the
(12:31):
right ass. We'll all stay up late.
Oh yeah, I'll stay up late. I'll take some vodka Red Bulls.
But I say. But if you had your choice.
Probably by midnight because youknow, you got to let the party
in a little bit and you got to do some.
Sort of talking. You got to let the lingerie come
on, you know what I mean? You know, they, they want to
feel sexy. They've been working on that
(12:52):
outfit and you know, so you just, you got to let them have
that so. When was the last time you've
been up past midnight, Chuck? It's been a while.
I know it's been a while. I'm asking.
You can't even remember. You can't pinpoint a date to me
the last time you've been up past midnight.
No, last Wednesday I I rolled inat home at 3:00 AM.
Wow, I last. Time the next day.
(13:12):
But I was. I did it.
'Cause sometimes you got to havea Wednesday night motherfucking.
The worst part is the 2 hour drive home where I'm like.
That's the killer. Yeah, sometimes, Chuck, you
gotta have a Wednesday night. But let me ask you this, Chuck,
when's the last time you was up fucking past midnight?
Not just staying up 'cause you, you were trying to play
(13:33):
semantics with us right there. Like hey, I've been up when the
last time you was up fucking past midnight.
Like you had a session. Past midnight.
It's been a while. Months.
Years. Sure.
Yeah, all, all the above, all the above.
Next question. For all those listeners out
there that show up at the party at 91011 asking where Chuck D
(13:57):
is, the answer is. Bedtime.
It's all of the above, Yeah. She's in bed.
I've usually done. Irish and above.
My Irish goodbyes. I haven't listen.
When's the last time you've beenup late, Professor?
You're getting older too now. I was up Saturday late.
That's. True, you have to play event
host, so that's that. You're forced to be up late.
(14:19):
Yeah, I was just up doing some bullshit I didn't want to do.
Listen, and I'm way less tolerable to nonsense like the
after party suite, all that. That ain't me.
I won't be all that. Because a lot of times people in
the after party suite, they ain't really trying to get down,
you know what I mean? They're there to just keep the
party going and that. Am I wrong that an after party
really like that's for the newerswingers?
(14:39):
Like I feel like the orgy sweetsat the event, those aren't
geared towards the people that have been in the lifestyle
forever. Those are the I.
Don't see a lot of. The they don't play so low.
They don't play like they have to play together, but yet they
can't agree on what who they want to be with.
So they're like, well, let's do an orgy and then we'll stock the
pool and then the missus can go get the guy she wants in the
room. Well, the Mr. go get his.
(15:01):
That's how I think orgies work. Like the the after party suite
at the crown, like when we did the Halloween thing, we had like
2 rooms and there's a giant living room in the middle and it
was fucking wall to wall, fucking feet on the ceiling,
walls, everything. But it would, like you said, it
wasn't a lot of like I didn't know a lot of the people in
there. Like it wasn't a lot of veteran
people. Like I could tell you back in
(15:21):
the day it was, it was probably the same way back in the day
too. Because like I would never walk
into the after party suite and see Chuck D in there.
I've never seen unless it was a private party.
I've never seen Chuck D in the after party suite.
Yeah, I mean, that's just not mything.
Yeah, I'm not. Saying my full public, that's
full public. I'm not doing that.
And for me, it's not the public thing.
It's just like, that's just, I don't know, like I got to have
(15:42):
my thing nailed down. I don't want to walk into a room
and say, OK, let's take my gamble here on what's going to
happen. I don't know.
And I still argue for being a solo dude in a group orgy after
a party just asking for trouble.That's creepy as hell.
It's creepy. You're asking for someone to
accuse you of something later. I know and I felt crazy because
I just went to in the magic party I went to, I, I wasn't
(16:05):
even going there for the orgy. I was going there to actually
return something. And when I you know.
You go there to watch. Listen, I busted in the door.
I busted in the door to return and they was like, oh, they
pulled me in by the hand. Like come in and Miss Doll and
you'll see on the podcast, I think it was already released.
I'm not no spoiler alerts. She goes one of her kinks are to
orchestrate orgies. And as soon as they pull me by
(16:27):
the hand, she goes here, there'sher chair over there in the
corner and she pushes me into the chair and I sit in the chair
and I'll watch a fucking fucking1516 person orgy for about 30
minutes. Next time you're getting a gag,
we'll buy her, just so you know.It's just hanging out.
I usually don't go to after parties or the orgy things,
right. If I don't got something lined
up, I go with who I'm with for tonight.
(16:48):
You know what I mean? I don't just go to after party
orgies or all that and hang out.But that was an instance where I
went in and I'll let her performher kink on me, which is
performing orgy. So David, the producer who
sponsored today's episode. That's couples nextdoor.com,
where you can unlock the desiresbeyond the ordinary.
My favorite lifestyle website out there.
(17:08):
Also, producer. Where can you listen to today's
episode? All major podcasts because this
is a production of the Down and Dirty production company and
they make sure you hear this. Episode.
And what is our favorite toy company?
Love Sense. The remote control gods over
there get you 1. And also don't forget those
(17:29):
smooth silky sounds by Victoria.Show notes.
Show notes. Go to the damn show notes.
All right, for all you young games out there, if you ain't 18
yet, this ain't your game yet. This is for adults only, and
adults don't take this shit serious.
This is for entertainment, educational purposes only.
This is not law. All right, I'm glad we saved the
producer, though, from his Noel story.
We saved our podcast from the Noel story.
We didn't want to hear it in A Little House on the Prairie.
(00:20):
Fucking like she still got on the dress and the bonnet.
You got a better one? I'll let you save yourself,
producer. Give me one more without a Noel
or fucking pond in it. I mean, I've done it outdoors,
I've done it in the car, I've done it in the dressing room,
bathrooms, the pool table. Where's your dressing room at?
JC Penney's Kohl's. Nice.
(00:41):
I did it at Mall of America in the family bathroom, one
downstairs. Like, you know, you go in the
family bathroom and you lock that door.
My I have a ton of them at the bar we used to do the meet and
greets at. I used to take people.
There was that fake wall that separated the old.
Bowl Everybody fucks at the parties.
And then the other stuff was after the bar closed like I
fucked on the pool table. I had a threesome in the middle
(01:03):
of the bar, but the the bar was closed at that point.
You know what? So I've said the ones that mean
the Dean did, those are probablythe best ones just because you
guys know the Dean. You know, if you picture the
Dean now, you can't picture her doing no bullshit like that.
But I would say some of the bestlifestyle ones, a lot of
nightclubs, I've done a lot of like open nightclub stuff.
(01:27):
I haven't done a movie theater yet, but it.
Is I've done a movie theater, you got to go at noon, all
right? Always go.
Ahead and done movies. Yeah, look at the, look at the
listings, like who ain't making no money?
Like we and we sat right over. You know how they have that?
If you're in Minnesota, most of them have like when you walk in,
there's a ledge, like you're at the very top, right when you
walk in, there's a ledge that you can look and you can see.
(01:48):
When the little worker dude comes in, you know, you got the
door off and you tell him, wear a skirt.
Meet me in the movie theater. Boom, plow.
But yeah, movie theaters. Good one for you.
And I mean like full sacks. I've done oral and shit like
that in the movie there, but I like I.
Want fucking I don't want no like little Rd. head here and
there like my brother the Princefucks with me all the time
because I'm not a member at a Mile High club.
(02:09):
I was like Nah do trains count? He's like, he was like, no,
that's. Modernly, in 1920, they did.
So I said do handies count 'cause listen, I got some cool
shit. I got a handy from my wife and
my girlfriend at the same time In a airplane he goes yeah, but
I had he fucked. He is Mile High club.
(02:31):
He fucked on an airplane. He was on an airplane during
COVID. Went in the fucking back with
his girlfriend then and she confirmed it.
This how I know you ain't lying 'cause she confirmed it.
OK, listen Chuck D, let me ask you this.
Do you consider a handsy by two women on a flight as cool as
going in the bathroom and fucking in the Mile High club?
No Mile High Club because there's a lot more people that I
(02:52):
think no because they're lookingfor that shit.
I'm right though, I'm in the public I ain't behind a closed
door. I'm right there with two and
people's already wondering why I'm kissing on 2 girls and I got
2 girls laying on my head, but I'm getting a handsy.
I'm in the mix of oh, flight attendant could come up and be
like, hey motherfucker, the pilot can announce like no
handsies. Anything could happen.
(03:13):
I'm gonna. Make credit for that over going
into a locked bathroom or the worst you're gonna get is a
knock on the door that says get the fuck.
Out, get the fuck out. And then I can be like, oh, she
was sick. I'm out in the public Dick hard
outs. I plow.
I splooge too. And you could technically be
fine for public indecency at that point.
So the risk. There's a fucking Air Marshall
on there. All that shit could happen to
(03:33):
me. I'm I listen.
New debate, controversial Tuesdays.
I think mine was riskier than Mile High Club.
I would agree. I think that's riskier than the
Mile High Club. Because people are waiting
sometimes outside the door of the of the restaurant.
I could have been given her insolent shots in there like.
Yeah. But listen, you come walking out
of a out of the airplane, everyone you know, you might
(03:53):
have some people that will be disgusted, but everyone else is
like, yeah, we. Know what you were doing?
That's what I'm talking. Everyone wants to be in the Mile
High Club. What's?
The hang at the ball, the. Building.
Yes, like listen. Chuck, get on board handsy about
two women is equal tantamount. Now 2.
Now you got to take it to the next level though.
What blowjob in the season? Listen, listen, listen.
(04:15):
No, no, no, no, no. I got a baby blowsy like she
did. Give me this.
It wasn't all handsy. It was everything but fucking.
Let's just say I think mine was riskier.
Let's write in. Let's do the how much they'll
say fucking show notes. Put in a show notes.
If you think we'll have a poll, see, I think if the chances of
getting caught is higher, then that makes it the most risky and
(04:37):
that's how you get the point. I don't think it matters so much
where it's the risk level. I agree.
Like you can be in a bath, you can be in a change room room and
a half empty JC Penney's nowadays and who?
Who's going to? Everybody's posting pictures on
AC and D like change room fucking like that's Bush league,
that's minor league type shit. That's the Saints.
I was doing 20. Times she crawls under She
(04:58):
crawls under the booth in a busyrestaurant and gives you a blow.
V There's some good points. Right there.
There's points I give, I give you that.
There's points. Chuck, listen, how many points
I'll be getting out here? Stadium pizza, That was points.
How many times I fuck in the game?
90s points, points, points. I listen to my Sri Lankan.
Oh my God, Oh my God. But we had a phone party once
(05:20):
down there. The phone's all up and the mass
Sri Lankan is sitting on the stage and his his wife is on his
lap and he comes over to me. He goes, thank you so much.
That was the best sex I've had all year.
I was like, would you over therefucking?
What are you doing? He's standing up fucking in the
phone. I gave it to the mad Sri Lankan.
He got lucky. Too.
He's crazy. He's she.
(05:41):
Well, you know, we could never have.
He fucks everywhere. Yeah, she she goes along with
it, She. And you don't think she's as
crazy as he is, But he sends me pictures of places like
cornfields, highways on the dotted, on the dotted line and
the center line fucking the mastery.
Longan is probably we should have them on talking about
public fucking, how to get away with mastery.
Longan's wife is an exhibitionist.
(06:03):
So he gets away with this shit more than we do.
Like, the Dean ain't doing this.The Dean ain't doing none of
that. Well, those are two different
people though. Me and the Dean have not had
water sex. We have a pool.
We have not had water sex with each other or others.
I'm lying, she told me. That well, that's gross.
You don't have sex in a in a, ina swimming pool.
That's gross. You know how many germs and
(06:24):
bacteria are in there And and I mean the woman's inner workings
has already have enough problemsgoing on.
We don't. You don't need to introduce
more. It's not that I don't have sex
in my hot tub. I've never had sex in my hot tub
or my pool. I've never.
But water sex is terrible to me.I fucking hate water.
Any water sex shower. Although I tore some shit up in
(06:44):
the tub last year and I was likedamn that was good for water sex
but I wasn't trying to it just happened.
I was just into the rubs and suds and shit but it sex in suit
but water sex as a whole is garbage.
I just. Have chunk, it takes away all
the natural lubricant. And you need that natural
lubricant. Motherfucker just tried to have
me have some shower sex this weekend and I was like Nah.
Now I have had some showers where you have like the little
(07:06):
stools and the holding bars and that like in hotels, those you
can't help yourself because you got nice space and they
basically set it up for you. I had some hot stuff in the
shower before and fell asleep. We laid down in the shower
because I wasn't having water sex.
Like, no, water sex is garbage. I'm never going to come from
water sex ever. So all right, I got a question
(07:26):
for you guys. This comes up from one of the
other podcasts that we were talking on and Chuck said he was
talking about soft swapping and shit.
Chuck, I got a question. Would you rather soft swap with
the number one pick of the night?
You know what I mean? The one you've been looking at
all night like that's that thing.
Would you rather soft swap with that one or full swap?
(07:47):
Take one for the team with your lady.
Full swap. You said that was no fucking
hesitation. Yeah, I'm not wasting my time.
Come on now, I didn't shave my balls or my ass cracked.
You didn't shave. Them get a haircut.
And you didn't? Get that?
I didn't do all that, yeah, I didn't do all that just so I can
soft swap. I can do that at home.
Listen though, listen, let me let me rephrase this for Chuck.
(08:09):
Let me rephrase this for Chuck. Soft swap with your sunshine or
full swap with take one for the team.
That's not the buzz off. You might have buzzed a team.
Not up, man. That's not fair.
You can't ask. Questions.
You can't ask questions like that.
You can't ask questions like that.
Moving on, next question. Next question to Chuck's.
(08:30):
Defend. I was thinking it depends on
like, how much do I want this girl?
Like how long? Like there's a few girls that I
would look at and go, listen, I've been chasing this girl for
years. I would take that one.
Sunshine. I'll put myself in some.
What about sunshine? No.
Do you tell us, Chuck? You tell.
Well, I, I think the listeners probably should they, I mean,
(08:52):
I'm not going to say too much, but I would say not everyone has
a sunshine. But some of us, you, you know,
you have a sunshine and the sunshine is someone other than,
well, let's just say your sunshine is probably the best
ever, ever. It's not like Harlem nights when
we say sunshine. It's like the movie Harlem
nights when the when the white dude got some of that black tail
and he called home, he was like,yeah, baby, I ain't coming home.
(09:14):
Tell the kids and the dog I lovethem peace.
And he hung up the phone. That's sunshine.
Yeah. Chuck had a sunshine gone now,
of course, but This is why I said that.
That's why I rephrase it. He was like way too quick, like
full swap. And I was like, Nah, let me put
some fucking risk in the game for his ass.
Some skin in the game. And I say, if it was your
sunshine, would you just play a little huggy kissy face or full
(09:36):
swap with I could be home watching the game right now.
Oh. That's just unfair.
That's unfair question to ask me.
That's like you. That's like me asking you, man,
like, 'cause you know your wife listens.
What? You gonna have me.
What you gonna have me? Is the best sex you ever had
someone other than your wife? Well, listen.
(09:58):
To be fair, we talked. Who is to be fair, we talked
about this. We talked about this and my
wife. Answered it, the Dean.
Answered it, Yeah, the Dean answered it, but I'm going to
answer it even because listen, me and my wife talk about this
shit. Didn't ain't no fucking you
ain't get me with no smoking gunmotherfucker.
Look. Maybe the different thing is al
arrange, maybe not. The difference is feelings.
(10:22):
If you got feelings for a motherfucker, it don't count,
you know what I mean? If you got feelings for a
motherfucker, we making love, you know what I mean?
Motherfucker that I met on a Saturday night, we had a good
time and we went back to the room.
Then you got to those are all the people that are in the
category and there's only there,there's a there's a chief rocker
in that category and there's somebody close, you know what I
mean? But outside of feelings, yeah, I
(10:45):
could. I could pinpoint who is in the
top five easy. And yeah, fuck yeah, I could
pinpoint who's in the top five easy without feelings.
Like, meaning that you are my girlfriend.
Like we wasn't kicking it. None of that shit.
You got to be outside of them, people.
I could tell you the top five, hands down.
(11:05):
So you're right, Chuck D, it's an unfair question for me to ask
you that. That's unfair.
There's. An unfair question for Master
that 'cause there was feeling I answered my own question.
You're. Right.
See, there you go. Take a bat.
You bullshit though, you know you bull.
Whatever, man. The reality of the case is is
(11:25):
that all three of us would probably just go to bed that
night. Fuck.
Yeah, when soft swabbing went onbefore I ever fell asleep in the
corner. Mother God, whenever like y'all
do y'all thing I fell asleep forreal in the corner.
I was on several soft swap. Sessions, What's your down and
dirty time? The Professor I got to be down
and dirty by what time? Listen, it's hard for me because
I got to be there until at leastmidnight.
(11:47):
OK, let's assume you're not hosting.
Let's assume you're just there. What's your down and dirty?
Oh, if I'm hosting, I'm I need to have my plans done by
midnight. Like we got to be going
upstairs. If I just go to like a
convention or I'm at heat or something like I'm not partying
after midnight now the Dean, theDean is shut the club down.
Like the Dean will be there tillthe lights come on.
I'm like, come on, man, We got to go.
(12:09):
Like we have missed out on everything.
Like she's like, no, let's one more dance.
I'm like and several of my girlfriends were shut the club
eat down type people. Then I'm just like, we want to
do this. We got to get out of here by
midnight. Girls didn't.
Have Chuck, What's your down anddirty time, preferably?
Yeah, what I. Prefer 30.
Yeah. Oh geez.
No, because I mean the party I. Mean for the right, for the
(12:31):
right ass. We'll all stay up late.
Oh yeah, I'll stay up late. I'll take some vodka Red Bulls.
But I say. But if you had your choice.
Probably by midnight because youknow, you got to let the party
in a little bit and you got to do some.
Sort of talking. You got to let the lingerie come
on, you know what I mean? You know, they, they want to
feel sexy. They've been working on that
(12:52):
outfit and you know, so you just, you got to let them have
that so. When was the last time you've
been up past midnight, Chuck? It's been a while.
I know it's been a while. I'm asking.
You can't even remember. You can't pinpoint a date to me
the last time you've been up past midnight.
No, last Wednesday I I rolled inat home at 3:00 AM.
Wow, I last. Time the next day.
(13:12):
But I was. I did it.
'Cause sometimes you got to havea Wednesday night motherfucking.
The worst part is the 2 hour drive home where I'm like.
That's the killer. Yeah, sometimes, Chuck, you
gotta have a Wednesday night. But let me ask you this, Chuck,
when's the last time you was up fucking past midnight?
Not just staying up 'cause you, you were trying to play
(13:33):
semantics with us right there. Like hey, I've been up when the
last time you was up fucking past midnight.
Like you had a session. Past midnight.
It's been a while. Months.
Years. Sure.
Yeah, all, all the above, all the above.
Next question. For all those listeners out
there that show up at the party at 91011 asking where Chuck D
(13:57):
is, the answer is. Bedtime.
It's all of the above, Yeah. She's in bed.
I've usually done. Irish and above.
My Irish goodbyes. I haven't listen.
When's the last time you've beenup late, Professor?
You're getting older too now. I was up Saturday late.
That's. True, you have to play event
host, so that's that. You're forced to be up late.
(14:19):
Yeah, I was just up doing some bullshit I didn't want to do.
Listen, and I'm way less tolerable to nonsense like the
after party suite, all that. That ain't me.
I won't be all that. Because a lot of times people in
the after party suite, they ain't really trying to get down,
you know what I mean? They're there to just keep the
party going and that. Am I wrong that an after party
really like that's for the newerswingers?
(14:39):
Like I feel like the orgy sweetsat the event, those aren't
geared towards the people that have been in the lifestyle
forever. Those are the I.
Don't see a lot of. The they don't play so low.
They don't play like they have to play together, but yet they
can't agree on what who they want to be with.
So they're like, well, let's do an orgy and then we'll stock the
pool and then the missus can go get the guy she wants in the
room. Well, the Mr. go get his.
(15:01):
That's how I think orgies work. Like the the after party suite
at the crown, like when we did the Halloween thing, we had like
2 rooms and there's a giant living room in the middle and it
was fucking wall to wall, fucking feet on the ceiling,
walls, everything. But it would, like you said, it
wasn't a lot of like I didn't know a lot of the people in
there. Like it wasn't a lot of veteran
people. Like I could tell you back in
(15:21):
the day it was, it was probably the same way back in the day
too. Because like I would never walk
into the after party suite and see Chuck D in there.
I've never seen unless it was a private party.
I've never seen Chuck D in the after party suite.
Yeah, I mean, that's just not mything.
Yeah, I'm not. Saying my full public, that's
full public. I'm not doing that.
And for me, it's not the public thing.
It's just like, that's just, I don't know, like I got to have
(15:42):
my thing nailed down. I don't want to walk into a room
and say, OK, let's take my gamble here on what's going to
happen. I don't know.
And I still argue for being a solo dude in a group orgy after
a party just asking for trouble.That's creepy as hell.
It's creepy. You're asking for someone to
accuse you of something later. I know and I felt crazy because
I just went to in the magic party I went to, I, I wasn't
(16:05):
even going there for the orgy. I was going there to actually
return something. And when I you know.
You go there to watch. Listen, I busted in the door.
I busted in the door to return and they was like, oh, they
pulled me in by the hand. Like come in and Miss Doll and
you'll see on the podcast, I think it was already released.
I'm not no spoiler alerts. She goes one of her kinks are to
orchestrate orgies. And as soon as they pull me by
(16:27):
the hand, she goes here, there'sher chair over there in the
corner and she pushes me into the chair and I sit in the chair
and I'll watch a fucking fucking1516 person orgy for about 30
minutes. Next time you're getting a gag,
we'll buy her, just so you know.It's just hanging out.
I usually don't go to after parties or the orgy things,
right. If I don't got something lined
up, I go with who I'm with for tonight.
(16:48):
You know what I mean? I don't just go to after party
orgies or all that and hang out.But that was an instance where I
went in and I'll let her performher kink on me, which is
performing orgy. So David, the producer who
sponsored today's episode. That's couples nextdoor.com,
where you can unlock the desiresbeyond the ordinary.
My favorite lifestyle website out there.
(17:08):
Also, producer. Where can you listen to today's
episode? All major podcasts because this
is a production of the Down and Dirty production company and
they make sure you hear this. Episode.
And what is our favorite toy company?
Love Sense. The remote control gods over
there get you 1. And also don't forget those
(17:29):
smooth silky sounds by Victoria.Show notes.
Show notes. Go to the damn show notes.
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