Season 2 - Episode 12: Introduction to SDC

How do you explore and celebrate your sexuality? Our hosts Cali, Fox, and Ruby interviewed Lexi Sylver, Media Director with Seek, Discover, Connect (SDC), an international platform for ethically non-monogamous singles, couples, throuples, and more. Lexi talks about her sex positive journey as an international accredited coach, an award winning erotic storyteller, and all of the fun features of SDC!

Guest (s): Lexi Sylver

Hosts and Producers:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RubyandFox⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠ Cali10⁠⁠⁠

Follow and DM us:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sponsor(s):⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CouplesNextDoor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Seek, Discover, Connect (SDC)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

SDC Promo code: 37887 (Sign up today for a free trial and we'll be notified of any new member who officially decides to seek, discover, and connect. We will reach out to you personally!)

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
Whoa, I can't believe this is the second to last episode of
Season 2. Welcome to all of our listeners
and thank you so much for being with us.
As we come close to wrapping up this season, we're already
gathering topics and guests for Season 3, which we hope to start
releasing episodes sometime in January.
Hey everyone, Callie here. I'm so excited for this episode.

(00:29):
On the show with us today is theMedia director of sdc.com, which
stands for Seek, Discover, Connect, and her list of sex
positive accolades is astonishing.
Also, the conversation takes a fun twist, revealing some
personal sexy endeavors. With that, let's get this party
started. All right.
Welcome, listeners. It is a Tuesday.

(00:52):
Today it's about 6:30 Central time.
Our guests in different time zone actually so excited for
today's show. It's got goosebumps.
Double arm goosebumps right off the bat like goosebumps.
Here it is our guest. We haven't had a guest like her
on the show yet so and Ruby is anxiously waiting across the
table to tear up because I thinkshe has a little bit of a crush

(01:13):
on her crush in her accolades and everything else about her.
So Ruby, why don't you tell the audience about her?
Our guest of. Course I do with us today, we
have Lexi Silver LEXISYLVER. She is an award-winning erotic
storyteller, a life coach and educator, and a bold

(01:35):
entrepreneur. And her mission in this life is
to strip away shame and fear regarding our sex lives to help
us pursue any relationships we want and desire.
So she's just an incredible coach in this lifestyle.
So everyone, please welcome Lexi.

(01:57):
Thank. You, thank you so much for
having me. I love the intro.
I feel like you should walk intoevery room before me and just
like say it, introduce me. I love it.
I'm loving it right now. Thank you so much.
Yes, it's easy to give you lots of compliments.
I appreciate that from, you know, a woman to women.
So yeah, no, I like that. Your list of accolades is long.

(02:24):
Is there anything that Ruby leftoff?
Is there anything you want to touch on specifically there that
you really are proud of, or thatmaybe the listener should know
about you? Oh, that's the speed.
I'm definitely proud of the factthat I'm an internationally
accredited coach. I coach monogamous couples.
I coach open like individuals, couples throttles.

(02:46):
I've really had like an incredible time because it's
such a privilege when people want to, you know, share deep
things about themselves. So I'm very proud of my work as
a coach. I've I'm proud when I see the
realization in my clients faces,like when they I had a
breakthrough and they're like, wow, I never thought of it like

(03:07):
that before. I love it.
It's so rewarding to see people shape their lives the way they
want to and to feel like they'refree to do that.
It is it, it's, it's self rewarding really.
So I'm very, very proud of that.And, and yeah, I'm proud of my
erotica. I'm an erotica writer, right?

(03:29):
Yeah, I, I've published a coupleof books.
It's for I I never intended to really do anything crazy with
it. I just wanted to share my smut
with the world. You know, I had these dirty
thoughts and fantasies and you know, I wanted just to share
that. So I'm proud of the fact that I
put it out there. It's out in the universe.
In how long have you been like the earliest point?

(03:52):
How long back have you started on this?
Like we like to say like sex positive during account
encompasses everything, whether you're a swinger or polymer,
whatever, like just kind of yoursex positive experience.
Like how long ago did that startfor you?
So I got to stay in high school.I was the person that a lot of
my friends and, and even people who I guess like weren't really
my friends, but who I guess feltcomfortable coming to talk to

(04:14):
me. I got questions about sex
because I was always very interested in that like this,
like sexual health, relationships, like always,
always, always. And I was very, you know,
experimental with my sexuality. I wanted to try things.
I was excited to try things. And, you know, I had I seem to
have more experience and you know, that a lot of my friends

(04:35):
and other people like in my teens.
So people came to me for advice on any number of things when it
came to sex and relationships and even relationships that like
that early age, right. So yeah, I guess I was always a
passion of mine. I always just wanted to help
people. I always wanted to, you know,
talk about sex and and relationships openly.

(04:57):
There was always so much shame around it, even in like, you
know, whatever excuse for sex Edthat they gave us back then.
Oh God, what a fucking nightmarerunning to, you know, like for
sure. I mean it, it was, you know,
they used like fear tactics whenit came to STI's and it's like

(05:19):
an STD's and it's like relaxed, you know.
So it's, it definitely, there was always a gap there in terms
of people's knowledge about sex and there still is.
So I, I like to fill those gaps.Let's put it that way.
We have like to do that. So yeah.
That's awesome. So your interest started in high

(05:40):
school and then what happened after high school?
Did you go to school for these types of things or did you go
right into the workforce? Oh, interesting.
So while I was so while I was inhigh school, I created Lexi
Silver. I was writing erotica.
I was always, I was always writer as a kid in high school
and in high school. Well, you know, but the guys

(06:06):
especially. Yeah, when I was 16, I put
together this, this, this book Igot bound at like a local paper
store, just like it was the first version of Mating Season
and it was a collection of a couple of stories.
So I, I made enough copies for just a few of my close friends,
some of whom still have the originals.
I, I mean, I, I always said like, I'm going to publish this

(06:27):
one day. And I, I did publish Mating
Season, but under something else.
But just to say, I as a teen, even like I knew I wanted to
write erotica, I knew I wanted to help people with sex and
relationships. I, I just didn't know the path I
would take. And so when I went to, I went to
school and what I guess is the equivalent of grade, because

(06:48):
like our high school, I'm Canadian and I'm from Quebec,
I'm from Montreal. So our high school goes to grade
11 and then we have like 2 yearsof what we call CEJA, which is
like college I guess. And it's like prepped for
university, which came after I, so I studied, I studied business
and, and psych and I always lovepsychology.
Oh my God, so much. I love understanding people's
brains. I people's brains are so sexy to

(07:10):
me. Understanding how they work and
all the thoughts. Oh yeah, 100 percent, 100%.
That is a huge thing for me. So if I could, we have a
photographic memory. Are you turned on right now?
Oh, that's so hot. That's so hot.
Wow. An.

(07:32):
Impact has a huge impact on yourbehavior.
Yes, for sure. Especially sexual.
It does, absolutely, yeah. Oh my God.
I. Haven't read any of your
literature yet? What smart readers call it?
It's our literature. Oh yes, that's because you love
that. Or isn't it?

(07:52):
Or isn't it like? Lexiture.
Lexiture. You're definitely on my very
long to be read list. Ruby out of line right now.
Ruby reads a lot in my books. I.
Do Oh, I'll send you a copy. Oh, OK, exciting.
I'll send you a copy. I, I, I'll even autograph it

(08:14):
with my signature red lipstick kit.
Oh. I'll.
Borrow it after. OK, I'm not.
A reader, but I, I will. I'll read this one.
I'll get the clip on both of them actually.
I'd listen to audio. I've had an audiobook.
I love audiobooks, but. I'm getting there, I'm getting
there. It's definitely the next step.
There's more stuff coming. I've been in a really

(08:35):
interesting writing group, so we'll see what happens with
that. Yeah, the ideas are flowing.
It's very that's. Exciting.
Another exciting thing about youis you also had your own podcast
for a couple years and we've allenjoyed listening to various
episodes. How did you get into starting a
podcast? Oh my God.

(08:57):
OK. You get name drop it for
listeners here because listeners, you should listen to
it. It's really good.
Go ahead. Sorry, Lexi.
No worries, I love it, but thanks for the endorsement.
It's SDC presents seek discover,create with Lexi Silver and
basically, so that's actually how I started working for SDC
when I so I, I didn't even fullyanswer your question right about

(09:20):
like education. I say psychology and university
And one more fun little fact that I will add into my two year
stint of what the equivalent of college here.
I wrote a sex column for the newspaper and at one point one
of the articles about anal sex tips stirred up the the fucking

(09:41):
administration and they threatened to like ban my
column. They did it.
They didn't. I agreed to tone it down a bit,
but I was like, but it's like, it sucks.
People are doing it. Can we help them do it with Lube
and like properly and you know. This was university.
It was right before university. It was.

(10:03):
It is. Yeah.
It is very fun. I think my favorite article was
paid by the our hotel rooms versus sex in the backseat of a
car. And like, those have pros and
cons. Yeah.
So I. Wonder when was this that you
were doing this? Because I'm relating it to like,
sex with Carrie Bradshaw. So funny, I was like 1819 at at

(10:27):
the time. I I think something like that.
And yeah, I love causing a stir.I love provoking people.
I love making people think differently.
And I enjoyed the fact that the administration was kind of
pissed about it. It actually, I don't know, I'm a
rebel with A cause or. Something you like to be, you
like to be their catalyst. Oh.
That's hot. I like that I have to jump.

(10:50):
In about the podcast, so one onequestion we get all the time is
what is like favorite episode we've done so far or, or what's
the most recommended one? Right, Which usually sometimes
can go hand in hand. Maybe depends on the person,
because we have some more funny ones.
We have some more serious ones. So I can ask them like, well,
what vibe you're looking for, But same question to you, Is
there an episode that stuck out to you as like, wow, that one's

(11:11):
really great or just like you had a good time doing it?
Or maybe it was the most educational.
Any of those vibes you want to go?
Oh wow oh wow that's that is great question.
I don't think anyones ever askedme that before.
There are quite a lot of podcasts.
Oh my God. Oh God.
Right now. Oh.
God, that wow. It's scary.

(11:34):
Why do you say it like that? That's so scary.
No, Yeah, it was really, it was it was such an adventure to
podcast. And actually you heard it here
first. I will be starting a podcast
again in 2024. Oh.
OK. Yeah, but so, yeah, breaking
news everybody. And what type of?
Will you cover in your new podcast?

(11:56):
Oh. 100% we're going to talk about sex and relationships.
The format I'm going to use, I'mnot sure yet, but I have so many
delicious ideas swirling around my brain.
So yeah, I. But definitely, I mean, it's
talking about sex, talking aboutdifferent types of
relationships, open relationships, monogamous

(12:16):
relationships, you know, polyamorous relationships and
everything in between. There are so many different
terms, but just celebrating the fact that we are able, at least
here, you know, in North Americaand and a lot of other places in
the world to freely express how we feel about other people and
to experiment with our sexuality.
So I think we should celebrate that.

(12:38):
I think it's something sex has always been empowering for me,
always been empowering for me. And I, I've always celebrated my
sexuality. It's a huge part of who I am and
what I like, you know, what's also helped shape me as a
person. It's one of the ways that I
connect with people. So definitely we're going to
talk about sex on this podcast, a lot of it.
Can I tell you my two favorite episodes that I've listened to

(13:00):
so far? Yeah, OK.
Go for it. Yeah.
Unleashing your inner slut. I thought that was a really good
one. I love it.
I haven't. Listened to that one yet?
Yeah, it just it talks a lot about the double standard, how
men are rewarded for their sexual prowess, but women aren't
just removing slut shaming and just, you know, why is it that

(13:23):
guns and violence are allowed onTV but not love and sex?
And then just a really fun one. You had interviewed a male porn
star. And just from this point of
view, how is real sex different than porn sex?
And just how, how does the porn industry work and, and kind of
the level of respect that you need to have for all of your Co

(13:45):
workers on set? And it was really fun to listen
to. Obviously that's I watch a lot
of porn but so it's nice to hearthe other side of it.
So one of my favorite episodes in that in that same thing, like
within the porn industry was with Holly Randall.
So I, I used to work in the pornindustry and behind the scenes,
I wrote scripts, I creatively produced like a number of

(14:06):
productions and I worked with Holly on, on some of my favorite
ones. And she is just absolutely
phenomenal as a photographer. She's just, she's incredible.
So she has her own podcast also Holly Randall Unfiltered.
She's huge in the adult industryand she had a, she was a great

(14:26):
interview that was, and I had somuch fun with her.
So that was definitely one of myfavorites too.
And yeah, the porn industry is not there.
There's so many things that people who just watch porn and
don't necessarily know, and that's why it's like a not an
accurate representation of sex. So when people come like, what,
you know, into the lifestyle, even thinking, oh, wow, I can

(14:46):
have a threesome. It's so easy.
There won't be jealousy. It's just sex or whatever.
Yeah, sure, in porn, like in real life, but like, yeah, go
ahead. Can I ask you because you are,
you know, close to the porn industry and we haven't had too
many guests on there, you know, have worked in or that close to
the porn industry. So how is only fans viewed,
right. And I think, you know, your
first episodes were in 2018, so maybe the opinion wasn't there

(15:08):
of it now because it's, you know, six years later.
But how is only fans viewed? Is is only fans pornography or
is it is it viewed as some otherkind of light porn or like
content creator? Like people usually call them
content creators, but I was I was thinking about that today.
I was like, well, really it's pornography.
It's just presented a different way, right?
It's more of an amateur porn, ifyou will, or softcore, but he

(15:28):
but he but then for some of the ones that have millions of
followers, they have people thatdo their stuff for them.
They're producing it and they'rewriting stuff, they're
responding back to them. So in that way, it's even more
just like regular porn that way,right, because you have other
people doing this stuff for you.So I don't know what are your
thoughts on that, I guess. And just a quick tangent.
I know it's. Yeah, I.
Love it everything but go ahead.I love it.
It's a great question. So only friends.

(15:50):
I mean, I like to my understanding is there's also
like beyond just sex on there, but it's not like synonymous
with sex at this point. So only friends on like other
platforms like that. While they take a chunk out of
whatever earnings a person has. It is also a way for for
performers to own their brand and to create their own content

(16:10):
and to reap more benefits than they would if they're doing,
let's say if they're shooting porn for another company where
they get paid for like the day or the contract or whatever the
case, they can own their content.
They could use it however they want.
It gives them a lot of empowerment and ownership and I
really think it's fucking fantastic.
Like I, I think that in this dayand age, if you're a performer

(16:32):
or within the sex industry in most of you, like you almost
want you, you want to have an only fans because people are
looking for you, They want to interact with you in any way
that they can. So some of these, some of these
performers are making quite a lot with just their only fans
accounts. And especially during the
pandemic, my God, like that to every a lot of things took off

(16:53):
during that time and now it's like it's own monster.
It's really amazing to see all of the like the variety of
things that have really like popped up as far as like how
performers and other people get creative on platforms like that.
Some of them do get a professionally shot, but they're
also producing it themselves. They hire sometimes.
You know, so the ones that have the most followers think of that

(17:15):
they've hired people. So I don't know.
I was just curious, I guess, because for me, like, I could
consider that just a different version of porn, that's all.
Yeah. Sure, yeah, I know for sure.
And there is porn on there for sure.
Like they something custom videos, you know, different like
snippets and scenes that people can watch.
And I think that's great. And there's, I think porn.
I think porn can be great if people realize it's

(17:36):
entertainment and not real life.And you know, when it's done
ethically and responsibly and the people who are performing
are being compensated adequately, I think porn can be
fantastic. Well, I think it's interesting
because in your second episode, I think it was your second or
maybe third episode. I can't see it right now, but it
you were you had brought in a couple that they were both porn

(17:57):
stars. They they were married a couple
or something. And I think that was kind of the
vibe was is, you know, porn industry right now is very male
focused and things like that. But I think platforms like only
fans have helped pave the way for it to be more women focused
because the women are the owningthose accounts and doing those
things. So and it's not as you know,
maybe staged as pornography, as you know, a traditional

(18:19):
pornography as either where the female, you know, in a male,
maybe a lot of times just her husband are doing scenes right.
There's some extra, you know, fetishes and things like that
going on. But but it is much more
realistic, I think when looking at it versus traditional porn, I
would say. So I think it's, I think it's
kind of funny that and you know,just from that time, listen to
your podcast, your episode then just six years ago, the drastic

(18:41):
changes that those platforms arecreated for the porn industry.
Oh absolutely, I thought it was also a.
Great episode. Yeah, I'd love to go back about
how you went from writing advicecolumns to writing porn
manuscripts. How did that jump in your career
happen? Well, I was doing I've been
writing since I was a teen and Ijust wanted to get my stuff out

(19:03):
there. So I used to have Oh my God, I I
had a blog where I used to sharestories and I and people were
like, this is great. You should, you should write a
book. And I'm like, you know, for
years and I was working at my parents lingerie company.
I've I've played a quite a history, you guys, I'm telling
you, I'm telling you that there is sexuality and and bodies and

(19:27):
relationship have been surrounding me forever.
I have like a it's you know whatI mean?
I and maybe I've also surroundedmyself with it in that way, but
I guess I wanted to just yeah, Ithink so.
I think so, but I think. It sounds like you you grew up
in a sex positive household then, which was a good
foundation for you and your lifestyle that you wanted to

(19:47):
live. Absolutely.
I mean, I won't say that it was like, you know, open as far as
talking about like details of sex.
I didn't really go to my parentsfor like anything related to
sex. I remember my dad always just
saying like, you know, be safe kind of thing like use a condom
or whatever. He, you know, like I don't think
it was I I wouldn't necessarily go and talk to him about sex,

(20:09):
but I knew that I could if I hadto.
So I guess that is really that is sex positive.
It's different than a lot of other families.
And your parents own the laundry.
Yeah, but yeah, it was amazing. Like, you know, watching what my
mom could do to help fit women of like any boob size you can
possibly measure. I've seen, I've been looking at

(20:31):
boobs for my whole life and I'm so it's, it's amazing.
I've seen every shape, size, like everything you can possibly
imagine. And just watching my mom help
these women find things that were that help them that fit
well, that help them feel comfortable and sexy and able to
just, you know, be instead of feeling uncomfortable.

(20:52):
And, you know, just but the confidence that I saw her give
these women just through helpingthem feel good about their
bodies and getting them stuff that fit them well, that looked
pretty on that. Like it was so beautiful to see
that. And I like watching someone feel
that sense of confidence. It's sort of what I was talking

(21:12):
about before with coaching, likewatching someone have a
breakthrough. It, it really felt like that
someone feeling finally like, Ohmy, like, God, it's been 20
years and I, I haven't had a brathat fits and I feel so good
now. Like it was just amazing to see
what she was able to. Do I totally get that?
Yeah. Wonderful.
Beautiful. Empowering women of all shapes
and sizes to just feel good. About yourself.

(21:33):
So Lexi, how did you go from writing the column to then
writing scripts for porn? So in in between all of that,
you know, I had university and then I was, you know, I was
helping my parents with the company, with the lingerie
store, but then the online store.

(21:54):
And then I was looking for a side gig sort of.
And I was, I had my blog, I was also writing on the side.
And an opportunity came up through a friend, like an old
friend. And there was a company, a porn
company was looking for someone to be a scriptwriter.
And he knew that I wrote, I wrote erotica.

(22:14):
So he said, do you want to try your hand?
And I said sure. I, so I learned like, you know,
I, he sent me a sample, which was super basic, right?
And at that time it was super basic.
It was just a very, very short scene.
And I just, I, I sort of took the, the same sort of format and
I, I'm just like, OK, I'll try it.
And I can't really remember exactly the first one that I

(22:35):
sent, but it was good enough forthem to say, OK, send some more
here, a couple of topics or whatever, come up with
something. So we're like, OK.
And so at first they paid me by script and then they, and then
they employed me to do that fulltime.
And then I ended up doing more behind the scenes stuff, being
more involved in things like casting, you know, their costume

(22:58):
stuff like creating movies, series.
Like it was really, it was really amazing.
Yeah. Working with, you know, the UK
crew, like as far as like different production, you know,
LA Miami, it was a lot of it wasa lot of fun crazy time zone
stuff. But I learned, I learned a lot.
It was a it was a good experience in that way.

(23:21):
And I guess it made me want to publish my own stuff more
because while it was still beingcreative and writing scripts and
seeing some of these productionscome to life, it still was for
another brand. And I still wanted to have my
stories in the way I wanted themto be in a way that wasn't for
commercial purposes. It was for like, you know,

(23:45):
erotic is very different than porn.
So being able to really tell thestory more deeply to get deeper
into the characters and what makes them sexy.
That's like what makes them really tick.
You don't, you don't necessarilyget that in porn, right?
It's a, it's much harder. It's more cut to the chase type
stuff or it's a. Shorter video, 15 minutes.
Like, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

(24:06):
So there's only so much you could do, right?
But with erotica, it's different.
So it really made me want to do it more.
And then I did, I think a few years later I published Mating
Season, so I can't really remember the exact timeline, but
it really, it helped me in that way.
It helped push me to want to getmy stuff out there.

(24:27):
You've definitely stayed a busy woman and you've been just a
wonderful entrepreneur along thewhole way.
What's up everyone? It's your guided professor
again. I just wanted to give you a
quick announcement. Make sure to save the date.

(24:48):
I know New Year's falls on a weird day this year.
I think it's on a Tuesday. But we got something that's
going to cheer you up. New Year's this year will be at
a new location, cool new spot. We've never had New Year's here
before, the Crowne Plaza in Plymouth.
So New Year's Eve, we will have a ball for you.
Make sure to check out Couples next door.
That's the only place you can goto this event at.

(25:10):
Click on the events tab, look atthe event details there.
You can also click yourself as attending, see who else is
attending and get those ball gowns and tuxedos ready.
All right, see you soon. So Lexi, you mentioned SDC
earlier, which is a fantastic site that we've actually been on
for a number of years now. And I definitely want to, well,

(25:31):
we all want to pick your brain and hear more about SDC.
So could you tell us a little bit more about that site?
Yeah, for sure. So when I first started my
podcast, SDC hired me just for the podcast at the time.
They wanted me to come in also then to to do some to write some
articles about sexuality. And then to then it became they

(25:52):
wanted me to help edit other people's articles about
sexuality that they were adding to their media site, which was
very new. It was then the beginning stages
at that time and not long after that I took over as media
director and I was then working with amazing people around the
world, podcasters like yourself and a number of other, you know,

(26:14):
educators, doctors like from allover who were just sharing their
insights about sex and relationships.
So I, I really grew in the role.It's been wow.
I want to say five years. It could be 6 now.
I'm not even sure, but SDC is it's more than just a site and
platform for open minded individuals and and and couples.

(26:36):
You know, it's not just like a hookup site.
There's so much more to it. We have a huge.
There's a lot of like sex positivity and stuff like that.
You don't have to be a swimmer really to join, right Is a lot
of education. Yeah, for sure.
You don't have to be a spinger to join.
And I think The thing is, is that you know, if you're even if
you're monogamous and you are looking for some spice, if if

(26:56):
you're in the open lifestyle, itdoesn't mean you even need to
play with anyone else. You can also just go to a sex
club and watch. There are so many things that
you can do that just touch on some of the Eroticism that the
open lifestyle like has to offer.
Even going to erotic parties, lingerie parties, things like

(27:16):
that can really give you a lot to go.
You know, when you're taking it home with you, right?
That's really, really hot. You don't have to go far and
swing and have orgies. You don't have to go all the way
there. You could.
I've done it. It's fucking fun.
It's great, you know, when it's consensual and everyone's like
in a good place and everyone knows the score.

(27:38):
It's, it's, it could be fantastic.
So when I, when I started working for SCC, there was this
desire to educate people more about open relations just
because it's so misunderstood swinging in the open lifestyle.
It's it just the like, I guess mainstream media has a really
hard time understanding all of the nuances when it comes to

(28:01):
openness. Right openness, how many
different. Things and it's very stigmatized
and tabooed by conventional or traditional ways of living and
people that have to do that. 100percent, 100%.
So I think their desire was to have a whole educational site to
educate people more about it andto warm them up to the idea that

(28:22):
hey, you know, it's not so scary.
You can like you can create a free go create a free trial and
check it out and just see what it's all about.
It's some of the people that I have met not just on SCC, but
also throughout like all of my like adventures with SDC, travel
events and things like that convention.

(28:42):
It's, it's just, it's really amazing, all of the people that
their stories, how they got intoit, what turns them on, how
their relationships are different because of their open
lifestyle, how SCC helped bring them together.
I love hearing people's stories as you do too.
I'm sure as you're asking about mine.

(29:03):
Yeah, it's. A very based podcast.
We don't come on. We never had an episode where
the three of us are just on talking about no, that's not
sure we did the three. The 3 some.
Okay, one time, yeah, yeah, thatwas the one time we would be on
our own personal, personal stuff, yeah.
Lexie, so as someone new to the site, I would be curious, what
do you want new users to know about STC?

(29:23):
Can you give like an overview ofthe platform?
So when you go to scc.com, you're going to see a whole,
like a whole website. It's a plethora of articles,
videos and podcasts from, you know, like just some of the most
amazing educators that I've had the pleasure of working with,
with all of their different perspectives about sex and

(29:45):
relationships, how to navigate the open lifestyle.
And all of this is accessible without you even needing to sign
up. But when you do sign up for SDC
for a free trial, you can check out my God, there's so many
great features. One of my favorites if you are
looking for education is our ournew our live streams.
So there are webinars going on at different times, different

(30:08):
days from different contributorsdifferent like educators,
doctors who are just doing Q&A'sand tell asking the community,
what do you want to know about sex and relationships?
What do you want to know about the Oakland lifestyle and ask
and like answering these questions?
Like I just, I love it when we put that together.
I was so happy. It's something I'd been wanting.
It was like a huge passion project of mine, getting that.

(30:28):
Done. So that's like 24/7.
You can jump on some live streamright?
Basically. Yeah, exactly.
So I think that is really amazing and also like it's a
cool way for members to connect.They can live stream too.
It's different. It's not like in a it's not an
educational webinar, but they can get people can get sexy on
their cameras and people could watch.
And if you like what you see, you can always DM them.

(30:49):
You know, they're, they're waiting to be, they want the
attention. As a fellow seditionist, I think
that that's a lot of fun too. And as a voyeur, as a voyeur, I
love to watch. So I mean, the live streams are
a fun one, but there are so manydifferent ways that you can
interact with people on SCCI. Love the different communities
that the different groups that people have created with like

(31:11):
different interests, different backgrounds, you know, having,
Oh my goodness, there's so many.The popularity wall is fun.
It's for, you know, people who are posting like more photos and
stuff like that. The amount of likes and stuff of
the photos, yeah, there's, there's a lot of people just
going to post stuff to most likea some of the other sites where
you would, you know, like stuff it it has that kind of feel

(31:31):
sometimes where it's a communitybased to go out and post
something and people liking it. Yeah, I love that.
And I think that, you know, one of one of the best things that I
like about SEC, if you're looking for any, any swinger
events in your area, it has, they're just ridiculous amounts
of listings. There's so many events.
There are private events and public events, and some of the
private events are even like house parties, you know, where

(31:55):
there's a vetting process involved, right?
So the host is going to ask you questions, like making sure
you're a legitimate person, you know, things like that.
And then there are clubs that, sorry, there are clubs who have
their own events too, like, you know, parties at the club, theme
parties. There's so many things, but
there are so many listings. I think that one of the features
I like the best is, well, it's 2features.

(32:16):
When people are coming here to Minnesota, where we're based, we
travel around a little bit, but where we're based, they can put
like travel plans here and you can see them and you like, oh,
this couple that from Greece or from Italy or from South
Carolina or whatever, they're going to be here in a month and
we can reach out to them in advance, say, hey, you look like

(32:37):
an interesting couple, like yourprofile, your pictures look
attractive. Do you want to hang out while
you're here? And you might never have the
opportunity to hang out with a couple from another country or
another state in that way. You might never come to
Minnesota again. You know, so it's a fun like way
to meet people you you would never, ever get the chance to
meet versus maybe some of the local stuff.
You're, you're going to see those people a lot, which is
great too. It's just, it's a different

(32:58):
vibe, right? We kind of like it all.
So it kind of fills that gap of knowing when swingers or sex
positive people even maybe not swingers, maybe there's sex
positive people you know, they want to hang out with are coming
to here. But then conversely, when we
travel, we can put travel plans on like, hey, we're going to
wherever we're going to Iowa. Yeah, we're going to.
Iowa or Texas, yeah, or like it makes it accessible to connect

(33:20):
with like minded people a lot easier.
And then you're not wasting yourtime just going out to a random
club. You don't know if you're gonna
meet those kinds of people. So that's really cool that the
future like that. Oh yeah, I love the travel plans
feature. It's super helpful, especially
for those who are, you know, even people like who travel for
work, you know, they're all overthe place.

(33:40):
Yeah, and I know I love that feature you had mentioned
before. Also for the events, you can
actually see who's on the guest list.
So you can also see if the person that you want to be there
is going to be at the events they have.
Validations. Things like.
RSPP yeah, I love that. I think that's really good.
That makes people, newbies especially, feel more
comfortable, like if they've made a few friends on it, SDC

(34:01):
and then they're like they're going to this event.
Okay, so maybe I'll see them there.
I won't be alone. I'll have the wing man or a wing
couple, let's say. So I think that's really
helpful. I just, I've been on the
different dating sites because ait's research and I, I find like
the incredible amount of features on SEC just like

(34:23):
there's so many great ways to connect with people and
internationally. It's just really amazing.
So love the fact that we are really do prioritize education
too like that. I think it's really important to
let people know what it is like to be a swinger, what it is like
to be open minded, what it's like to be monogamous and
nervous about opening up your relationship.

(34:45):
I think it's, I think it's really important to offer good
and credible information about what it really is like and not
let people just think that, oh, it's a fucking free for all.
Go into the site, you could hookup with whoever you want, you
know, kind of thing. And just like there is a lot of
respect, there's a code, there'sconsent, there's so much going
on. I do think that that's a big
thing and I appreciate, I think even the, the live, the live

(35:09):
things you guys do on the site and you guys are always
promoting different articles anddifferent podcasts.
And at that, I think that goes along way because when new people
come into this world, they maybedon't know the etiquette, right?
About things, right to quote, toquote your, I think it was your
5th episode when you talked about threesomes.
You said you have to decide whatyour, your WS are you right?
What do you want? What do you, what will you do

(35:29):
and what won't you do, right? So I think, you know, a lot of
this education we do helps people figure those things out
versus just kind of jumping in and thinking it's like a free
for all of for sex. And if you don't have those
three questions in mind, then ofcourse it seems like a free for
all of a SEC for sex. So it's not that way at all.
No, Ruby's. Ruby's dying to say something
here. I can see across the table.
Go ahead, Ruby. I was just going to mention that
a a function of STC that I really like is that you can have

(35:52):
password protected photos. Oh yes, so.
We'll have when we first started, we were newbies, you
know, several years ago. We didn't have any face pics or
any nudity on our public profileand we just said, hey, shoot us
a message, you know, if we will share the password to our
naughty photo album once we get to know you.

(36:13):
So it's just kind of another added layer of security and
protection. Yeah, I love that.
I was gonna say I just, I, I love that feature because then,
you know, you like you mentionedwith the face photos, but also,
you know, I don't send news unless I'm really into a person.
So keeping it under lock and keyis something to aspire to.

(36:35):
Once you pass the first level ofOK, your DM strategy is pretty
good. All right, let's see what you
got. Like, you know, I, I think it's
really, really good to have those albums.
And we'll change our private album often.
Yeah, you can change your password.
Also, just because we've given somebody the password, you know,
we'll usually change it every couple months, just that way
somebody doesn't have unlimited access to your naked photos,

(36:55):
right? Oh yeah, no, it's really good.
That's like I said, I love privacy and it's important in
this lifestyle too, right? So I have to ask too.
So I know it's a worldwide site.If you're allowed to say how
many users are out there and I think maybe you, I heard it in
one of your pockets episodes like somewhere in the millions,
3 million maybe is what I heard.Is that is that OK to say?

(37:16):
Can you confirm that how many users SDC has?
I can't confirm like an exact number, but I know that you know
our all of our affiliate material were it's over 3
million or files at this point, something like that.
So it's one of the biggest platforms for this.
Something like that. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
And you know, it's, it's really amazing because then you're, you

(37:38):
start to realize that wow, all over the world people are
interested in open relationships.
Like people are open minded likeit's, it's really incredible.
I, I think it's important withina community like this amazing
community members are really on top of things like they're quick
to give you feedback on like features that they're loving and
things that they want on the wish list or, you know, sharing

(38:00):
ideas and we take them to heart.We really do.
It's really amazing. Some of the things that we, you
know, create and, and everythingare because the members like
where it's so it's it, it's suchan amazing community.
And I, so anyway, I, I, I'm, I, I guess I, I really love SDC.
I'm so passionate about it because I also see what they do.

(38:22):
I, I know how much thought is put into like I'm in the
meetings. I know how much thought is put
into the. Thing is that we do.
I could tell I used to be in software for 12 years, so I can
tell when something when there'sthe little details that are
thought of right when when you build a when you build a site,
in my opinion, it should always build from a user experience,
right? What does the user, what would
the user do or feel right, for example, because it is a global

(38:43):
site and we do get messages, youknow, from people.
Again, I mentioned Greece or Thailand, other countries that
speak other languages. I might not know what they're
saying or can't read their profile.
There's a translate button you can hit translate and it
translates for you automaticallyEnglish.
So you can literally, you know, you could sex with people from
other country and just translateit.
Now it might come off funny, butmaybe that's maybe that's a
drinking game out of that every word that I don't know.

(39:07):
Yeah, how is I love it. Yeah, I love it.
But that's an example of the tiny thing though that a.
Tiny feature. A tiny feature, but there was
thought from the user's perspective.
Yeah, I'm really about the tiny thing, so I love.
It so I'm curious, you said Thissite is also used by monogamous
couples. However, like when you search
for it, it says swinger lifestyle.

(39:29):
It's very oriented towards open relationships.
How do people in monogamous relationships discover this
site? Why would they go on there?
Those types of things. I'm curious about that.
So there are, there are some people who I know who are
monogamist, who are honest DC because they're, they're just
exploring some ideas. They want to see what's out

(39:49):
there. They want to see their, their
window shopping. Sure, OK, They're, they're
trying to see, you know what, isthere someone that they might be
interested in? Some of them get off just on
looking, you know. Some of them get off on, you
know. Some people are just looking for
like online connection, you know, to swap sexy photos.

(40:10):
Like there are, there are as long as you're being honest
about what your intentions are and you're not leading people on
I and being, you know, clear, you know, in your profile about
what you're looking for. There are a lot of newbies who
are like, you know, we're just curious.
We don't really haven't done anything yet.
We're just curious. We're looking around.
We want to learn more before we jump into it.
I think that's a great opportunity when you go on a

(40:31):
site like like SDC and I mean like being able to, to see, you
know, what's out there, what theprofiles look like, what people
are into and, and also starting to understand, well, what is it
that you want? Like if you're new to the open
lifestyle, you're, you know, you're curious about it, but you
don't know exactly what it's about or what it has to offer.

(40:51):
Like being on a site like SCC, you can actually see, OK, wow,
OK, so we can talk about the fact that we, that we have these
boundaries. We can, this is OK.
It's, you know, it's cool to have these fantasies and you
know, or want to just go to a sex club and watch like other
people are doing that too, or have talking about doing that
like they're are it it, it really opens up a lot of things

(41:12):
like and, and I think it also helps because it could tone down
the intimidation factor a bit while by starting to feel like
they're they're couples just like you and I, you know.
So can I ask, can I ask you this, if you had a brand new
user to STC and their new words to the lifestyle, right, they go
onto a site like STC, what's kind of like the first couple
steps you'd recommend for them to take, right?

(41:35):
And again, from this perspective, their new user and
their news or SEC and their new new words, the lifestyle rights,
they might not kind of know the instant else like we're the
first, like a few things that would help them the most on SDC.
Or not even new to the lifestyle, but someone that's
maybe they're curious because they have a family member or a
friend that's in the lifestyle and they want to get some

(41:55):
exposure. You know, this is a safe space
to do that on a site. You're not going to any event in
person, but you're just online. Like what would not throw them
off or scare them too much? OK, so similar questions, two
different parts. So go Part 1, newer user Part 2.
Somebody that's like kind of looking into it.

(42:22):
Hey sexies, Callie and Ruby here.
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really excited about and want toshare with you.
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(42:45):
adventure worldwide. On SDC, you can learn more about
the lifestyle through educational articles, podcasts,
and blogs. If you really want to get down
and dirty, you can watch live stream videos or share your own
exhibitions. Favorite element of mine is the
travel feature. When traveling, you can change
your location on your profile, which allows you to connect with

(43:08):
local members and see lifestyle events and clubs in that area.
I can tell you with certainty that some of my favorite nights
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Sign up today using our special code 37887 to Get full access
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(43:29):
That's CALIFOXRUBY. When you sign up with our promo
code 37887, we'll be able to seeyour profile and connect with
you right away. See you out there.
So if you're a newer user, but you're not like necessarily new
to the lifestyle, I think that some of the some of the first

(43:50):
things you're going to want to do is like first you have to
have like a complete profile. The I don't think you could sign
up without it anyways. So just like tell us about
yourself, but then, you know, goshop around, look at the
different feature, look at all the different features that like
that are in like the the menu, play with them, play around, see

(44:10):
what is happening, what members are doing what look at the
online page that tells you everybody who's online.
And it's I think you can filter by distance and you can do all
kinds of different things and just look at the profiles that
entice you see what they're doing like with their profiles.
What are they all about? What do they talk about in their
in their description? What do they, you know, what

(44:32):
kind of pictures do they have? Like what you know, just get a
better feel for how people are using the site.
I think that is super, super helpful because a lot of people
like, I don't know, is my profile sexy enough?
Is it not? Is it, you know, is am I giving
too much information? What if I'm just curious, how do
I express that? Looking at other profiles and

(44:55):
getting a feel for how they do things, especially the ones that
have validations, which means that other people have on SCC
have validated them and said, hey, this is a real person.
I know who they are. They're not a they're not a
robot essentially. You know, I think this like
taking a look at how other people are talking about what

(45:15):
they want in that lifestyle helps really is really, really
helpful. Then you could start to see all
the different possibilities too that like what you get that is
OK to talk about these things openly.
You can write that you like, youknow, are only looking for
another couple who's kinky and likes, you know, leather and
latex or whatever. You know, you could say, you
could say whatever you want. I, I just think it's good.

(45:38):
It's like, you know, you get exposed to all these different
people and, and you get, you geta feel.
It starts to feel like, wow, there are a lot of people on
here. They're people who in their
everyday lives, they're teachers, they're some, there's,
some of them are politicians. Like there's so many different
people from different backgrounds and they're all open
minded. So it's not just like you have

(46:01):
to be a particular kind of person to swing or to be open.
So I think it really removes a lot of the stigma about the open
lifestyle. So for someone who is brand,
brand new, not in the lifestyle,not on the site, that's a great
way to get started. And if you're not, if you're new
to the lifestyle, but not sorry,if you're new to the site but
not to the lifestyle, there are so many new ways that you can

(46:22):
connect on SDC then you can on other sites.
And I would say like, if you are, what was the other question
you you would ask if you. Somebody like a like a family
member that like maybe found outyour lifestyle and like they
were curious. Want more information or
exploring the lifestyle and why maybe their friend is in the
lifestyle? So what I would suggest, like

(46:45):
when you go to stc.com and you see all those lovely media
articles, they can go down to and check the menu, like and
check out all the swingers articles.
There's a swinging one O 1 section.
There's a whole Q&A section. There's swingers questions,
things that real people have asked that have been responded
to with articles and podcasts, like in different ways by

(47:05):
different educators. And that's a really good way
too. Is she a family member could
even submit a question asking that.
And there are articles about yeah, it's if there's, there are
lots of articles about, you know, what it, what it, what
it's like, what it really is like in the open lifestyle.
And I, I promise you that like the sense of community that you

(47:27):
feel with other open minded people, the ease of being able
to talk to someone when you've already talked about something
that is usually it's, it's usually something you're not
going to really necessarily talkabout in more vanilla situations
as openly as you will in the lifestyle.
It it's really, it's really amazing.
The word that use community, right, I think a lot of people

(47:48):
and lifestyle, there's differentcommunities, there's local
communities. There's we know a lot, not a
lot. We know some people in our swing
community that they also travel a lot.
So they have groups that go with, you know, when they go to
HITO or desire, you know, placeslike that, or maybe they just go
out of the state clubs to Florida.
I think there's some down there.I can't remember if they're
called, but but they're they have little sub communities
there. So SDC can help users find new

(48:11):
communities rather than just thelocal communities as well to
expand their their swinger experiences.
When I think it normalizes beingin the lifestyle or overcoming
the shame in exploring your sexuality.
Like, that was one episode I really liked in your podcast
because that really resonated with me just growing up in the
Catholic Church and having so much shame behind expressing

(48:33):
your sexuality. I think these sites provide an
opportunity for users to reduce the stigma and reduce the shame
and normalize it. I mean, I think especially
that's why I asked about, you know, when you're coming out to
family members or friends and they have no idea what it even
means to be part of the lifestyle.
This could be a place for anonymous questions and Q&A for

(48:57):
experts to respond to them. Absolutely.
Again, it's a community too. Like there are members too who
are willing to like, you know, answer your question.
It not only removes the shame and stigma around like exploring
your sexuality, or as he likes to say, exploring your
electuality, but it celebrates sexuality.

(49:18):
It's it, it's it helped, it empowers people to be their
authentic selves, to explore things in safe ways. the IT, you
know, and to and to respectfullydo that.
And I think that's really incredible.
Again, that's the sense of community, right?
But really celebrating sexualityas a positive.

(49:42):
So removing the stigma is one part.
And then I think it just like goes right through the
celebration of. And education.
Yes, yes, absolutely. So Lexi, you mentioned the word
empowerment and that struck me here just as I'm looking across
the table at Ruby and Callie andyou know, women empowerment and

(50:02):
we've had lots of conversations about just sexual empowerment,
being empowered, that how being sexual can make you feel
empowered. So I am curious and free
listeners, we haven't talked about this on the podcast ever.
Some people I'm sure know because we've talked about in
person, but Kelly and Ruby are actually in the sex work
industry, specifically in stripping.

(50:24):
Can you guys just talk briefly for a minute about how that has
made you guys feel empowered? Because we talked about that a
little bit. Do you want to start Kelly?
Sure. Yeah.
I think growing up in a patriarchal society, it's hard
being a woman. I think we're always told cover
up and that we're not supposed to be exposing ourselves and

(50:46):
being sexual at all. And so I think dancing and
stripping has been a way for me to explore my sexuality and
become more empowered. I've always been told you should
not monetize your body. Is that a word?
Make money for it, yeah. Commodify.
Make money. Yeah, yeah.
And I I think that's just another way for shame.

(51:08):
Well cause shame towards. It to control us and.
Like why is it OK for a man to visit a strip club correct for a
woman to work at? One or to want to get.
Money. Men are in power and more men
are top 1% than women are. So it's been a very enlightening
experience and it's been part ofmy sexual journey over the last

(51:29):
eight months. And I'm proud, like I, I'm
actually proud to say that that's something that I do and
that I really thoroughly enjoy. Right.
Nice. I love that you reclaim your
power on your own terms. Like dancing.
I think that's amazing. Yeah.

(51:49):
Good for. Yeah.
Good for you. That is something to be fucking
proud of. Good for you.
What about you, Ruby? I enjoy the psychology behind
it. Yeah, you do.
I've always been told I kind of have like a sultry personality.
And you know, it's kind of like a game when you go up and
approach someone, be like, can Ifigure out what their fantasy is
and how I can play into that andhave some fun, you know, own my

(52:13):
sexuality and just be kind of a totally did you know, shed the
business attire the the corporate person, the mom, and
just be this really sexy vixen for a night and make some
fucking money while I'm doing. It and I've seen the difference
in the bedroom. Can I say your, your, your stage
name? Sure.
So her stage name is Maeve. So so Callie and I will ask for

(52:34):
it sometimes. We'll say give us your Maeve
eyes. Yes, or we'll throw on her Maeve
stripper songs and she'll go into Maeve mode if.
She's if we're at a bar. If we're at a bar, just a
regular PG vanilla bar, Callie is great about this in our in
our throttle. She's good at like kind of
instigating like energy sometimes.
And she knows how to push our buttons and we all push each
other's buttons in a good ways. I mean, good buttons.

(52:55):
So she pushes the Ruby Energy GoSexy Now button, and all she has
to do is play a song that's one of her stripper songs, and
she'll go to the nearest guy at the bar and start, you know,
just being made. Yeah.
I can't help that they don't resist me.
I mean, having great helps too. And it's been and.

(53:17):
And maybe he's been doing it foralmost a year now and Cali's
still newer. In the past few months, since
maybe June. June.
Yeah. So many still like four or five
months. Yeah.
Yeah. But you know I.
Told my sister recently about a lot of things I came out about
us being, you know, having the open relationship and about the
stripping and just in that wholeconversation with them, they
were just like, I can see that you are a totally different

(53:39):
person. You know, if you would have
known me ten years ago, I was definitely more quiet, more shy.
And I don't have a problem kind of just taking up my own space
now. Sure.
Just having that confidence to do so and.
And I was going to say to Cali to, you know, Maeve has kind of
the Maeve eyes persona, but I'veseen with Cali in the past many

(54:00):
months stripping now that you're, you're kind of your vibe
and your aura, like you're, yourconfidence has changed.
Like, not that you didn't have confidence before, because you
know, I love confident women, but like, it's, it's grown
exponentially even and just not just on stage but outside the
club as well. I see it just how you approach
and talk to other men as well, which you've already been so
confident. I can imagine getting more

(54:20):
confident, but I, I, I see it and I've, I've witnessed it.
It's just incredible. Yeah, it's a sense of, well,
it's empowerment, but you feel powerful and.
I feel, I feel your power. And I'm like, oh man.
I think again, going back to theepisode I was listening, Lexi,
the overcoming shame, they talk about how being inferior is a

(54:41):
benefit to our society or the conventional way of living.
If we are inferior or if we are shameful about something, you're
more likely to buy things to make you look better.
I don't know, just that it all plays a role into some of the
typical ways of living, and I love that stripping and
expressing my sexuality on stagemakes me feel like I don't have

(55:05):
to do all of those things because being a woman is
powerful enough. And you were a dancer earlier in
life too. So you get to do these things,
these skills you've already had locked away.
You've got to use them now. You can do the splits on stage
still it's. Amazing.
I mean it's cheers every time aswell, like I'm just getting paid
to do something I love, which isalso.
Yeah, you 2 take pole dancing classes like almost every

(55:25):
Tuesday for the past many monthsnow, so.
It's all-encompassing. It's a good workout.
It's social. And it's interesting that, you
know, strip clubs, you think of them as, you know, for the male
sexual gratification. You know, they can go there and
oogle women, but there's not really, at least up here in the
upper Midwest, a lot of places where women can go and enjoy

(55:48):
that. So we've actually found
something. We did.
We found a place that will have a male stripper night or the
next ladies night. So drum roll.
Wait, it's me wrong button. You see no, that was cheers.
No, that's wrong. 111 more you went through all of them there
it is that was run shot. Okay, last one no.

(56:12):
I. Don't think so.
We have these sound bites that play in our headphones.
And we need to stop and. Yeah, OK.
So go back to drum roll. All right, so there is a club
nearby in the Midwest that is going to be having a ladies
night, so male strippers and that will be on November 7th.

(56:32):
Is it 7th OK? Sugars.
Sugars in Hagar City or Hager City?
Hagar, Hagar. 40 minutes from the Twin Cities, Yeah.
And Fox will be making his stripper debut.
Yeah, we would love for you to come.
And Maeve her dancer name there and Cali, Cali just goes by

(56:54):
Cali. Still.
Maeve and Cali also have the option to strip as well, so it
might be the first and only night we ever all three are
strippers. November 7th at Sugar's in
Hagger City, Wisconsin. Seriously, it's going to be
insane. Oh my God, that sounds awesome.
I know I want to mention that too real quick.
I I know we're bumping up the time here.

(57:14):
We're just over an hour, but with some edits it'll be still
right there. But I told a couple people about
that already, a couple of my male friends and you know, they
were really excited, you know, like a fist bump.
Wow, that's awesome. You're doing that kind of thing.
You know they awesome. You're going to be stripping
like it was met really positively.
I'm curious how, if you guys come across that, maybe have you
been shy to tell her females or what responsive you would had if

(57:36):
you tell females again, kind of going to the gender norm because
like I would expect the guys, which has been the case and to
my expectation that they're like, oh, that's awesome, You
know, not that they're going to go, but they think it's awesome.
You know, how do you guys? What do you guys have with that?
I don't know, it depends. I started actually stripping
because I needed money for something that happened that I
needed to get a lot of money forin a short amount of time.

(57:59):
So when I explained it that way,some of my friends were like, Oh
yeah, that makes sense. Like.
There's a purpose. There's a.
Purpose. But now you know I'm continuing
to. Do it right, right, right.
So I, I haven't really gotten a good gauge on their thoughts
about it or if there's judgment there.
More of my friends know that we're in an open relationship,
then they know that I'm stripping.

(58:20):
And even now that's something that I still kind of hold close
to myself. I think it's different when you
say that we're in this together for our own reasons, but it's
different to say, yeah, I'm making money off my body.
You know, I we've, I've done allthe research.
I go to clubs that are heavily vetted with, you know, bouncers
to protect the dancers safety. I don't go fully new just

(58:42):
because that's a stipulation I've put for myself.
It's a boundary you've. A boundary, yeah, but still I
just I feel like that would be less accepted by my other women
friend than to say that I have aopen sexual.
Relationship, I think the to reframe that.
I think if it was reframed as you said, making money off your
body. I think as soon as you said that

(59:03):
my brain always just reframe things.
A positive A. Positive way, right?
So like making money off your sexual confidence is really what
it is, right? Maybe other people aren't going
to see it that way, but that's really what it.
Is to me how they see it. As making the body but what it
really. That's not how I see.
It Oh, I know that. I'm just saying like trying to
cheat up for the people that arelistening that might think that
flipping is flip the screen. Yeah, flip the script.
It's like, no, I'm, that's not my body.
It's my social confidence. Because I can tell you already

(59:23):
like I've been practicing some moves, things like that.
And I've been had some, some soreness and a lot of work goes
into trying to get to routine totry to be a stripper.
And you guys do this all the time.
And I'm just doing it. I'm doing it this one this one
time, at least for now. It takes a lot of skill, like
physically, mentally and emotionally.
But also, but also the mental thing of it though, too is
right. I'm like, I'm already giving

(59:44):
myself some affirmations manifesting for that day about
what that day is going to be. So it's not just showing up and
getting on stage because you have a sexy body like that
doesn't get you anything. You know, if you're not
confident up there, like that's what it's about.
It's going up there. That's what sexy is.
The guys see that. That's what there's confidence,
sexual confidence. I can't speak for everybody,
right? But that's that's how I so I
prefer to view it in my own eyes.

(01:00:06):
I think Ruby, you might have a little bit more shame behind it
because it's not normalized yet in your worldview, like probably
in you've been in the lifestyle now for five years.
Stripping is still relatively new.
You don't know a lot of people that do it.
True. I think once things become more
normalized, then you have less shame behind it.

(01:00:26):
You're more willing to talk about it, be more authentic.
Or something you'd expect from amuch younger woman, not somebody
who's married and has kids already.
Oh. Sure.
So to bring it back to to Lexi, you were you kind of spurred
this, this conversation, we saidempowerment.
So I'm curious, just what's the most empowering thing that

(01:00:47):
you've that you've done? Or maybe there's a maybe there's
a moment or maybe there was a thing that you've done that's
really give you made you feel the most empowered, sexual
empowered? Let's see.
Oh my goodness. Wow, that is an excellent
question. I like it.
I. Appreciate.
It maybe a time you just steppedout of your comfort zone, yeah.

(01:01:09):
I think the first time I had group sex with a lot of people
and I just, I just, I mean, I unleashed my inner blood and.
Yes, I mean I put her away. No, I mean, I like to be fair,
I'm only sure many, many years before that.
But in doing it in a setting where so many people were

(01:01:32):
watching and I'm good at sex, some people are good at sex.
I'm one of those people. It doesn't, it doesn't matter
which body I'm stimulating. I mean, I've gotten better over
the years. Obviously practice makes
perfect. But I, I think it's because I
enjoy it and I, I can read people's bodies.
I get a sense for what they needor want, and I also communicate

(01:01:56):
things. But being in front of all those
people naked, fucking, laughing,we were all having such a good
time. It was so much fun.
Well, people forget that like itsucks, but I mean, sex is fun.
Like it doesn't have to be serious.
Like I want to unglue your mouthfrom like other people's body
parts. We.
Talked about that in our our thethrouple episode is like there

(01:02:18):
is talking there stops, it breaks.
It's not just like what you think it's going to be like a
porno hardcore fucking, No, there's lots of like little
moments so. Yeah, so that was that was
definitely a huge one for me. And I, I think that, you know,
there are a lot of other women in the lifestyle who before they
got into the lifestyle, they always sort of wanted to

(01:02:38):
experience something like that. And they only were able to as I
was within the confines or in the context of like, I guess in
this case, the middle of a swingers club.
You know, it was, but it could really be anywhere.
The idea was just that I was doing what I wanted.
I was celebrating my sexuality, my lectuality, I was doing

(01:03:00):
whatever I wanted. Obviously was consensual.
Like it was it, I was, I felt free.
And it was really empowering to see how, you know, me just being
me, my authentic slutty self Notonly turned some, like some
people turned a lot of people on, but also encouraged other

(01:03:22):
women to do the same. I, I, I you could feel the shift
in energy like it was, it was really something because it
wasn't just me. And we'd like, yeah.
Like we shared that moment of empowerment.
It was really, it was really amazing.
So yeah, that was definitely. Yeah.
My, that was my, Yeah. My first group sex.
Experience. That's probably not anyone.

(01:03:42):
Anyone listening, Don't, please don't start out becoming a
stripper or go straight to an orgy.
I think you have to build up to it.
Those are that's good. That's good empowerment options
for sure. Right.
That's what I'm saying. Build up to it.
Well, we are going to be at timehere for today's episode.
But Lexie, I have to ask, any plans to come to Minnesota soon?

(01:04:05):
Oh, you know, maybe because I dohave a friend there and I
haven't seen them in a while. So I mean, that could be a fun
visit. But yeah, it's totally it's
possible. Definitely let us know, yeah.
We'll plug you into the local events.
If you're going to be here, let us know.
If not, we'll create. We'll create an outing if you
come up here and we'll see who wants to to come out and and

(01:04:28):
hang out with all of us. Yeah, inviting you to hang out
right now. That sounds like a recipe for
some a lot of fun, but also. We'll get a party bus and it'll
be fun. Lexi, was there anything that we
missed that you wanted to say inthis episode?

(01:04:49):
No. Wow.
We covered the gamut. We.
Covered a lot. I feel like we could have done
like two more hours of just likechatting with each other for
sure no? No, it's so hard with, I love
it. You just want to chat about the
little things. But you know, if you come here
and we have the party boss, there'd be lots of chatting.
There we go. Oh my God, I love it.

(01:05:13):
No worries. This is this is so wonderful.
Thank you so much for having me.I really I had a great time.
Thank you so much for spending your time with us.
Thank you for tuning into The Down and Dirty.
We hope we sparked some curiosity for you today.
If you've enjoyed our content, please like follow our podcast
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If today's topic resonated with you, leave us a message at

(01:05:37):
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