Episode Transcript
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Carl Fessenden (00:01):
Welcome to the
drunken worm podcast. Each week,
I will be bringing you dynamiccontent that will educate and
inspire. This podcast wascreated to talk to mental health
professionals about addictionrecovery and their own personal
stories that can help inspire usto become better people and live
healthier lives. Welcome to thedrunken Warren podcast. My name
(00:22):
is Carl, the host and creator ofthis show, and you're listening
to the five in five, part four.
This is where we are taking fiveepisodes and releasing them in
five days. And I hope that youguys are having a great Sunday.
I hope you're having a greatweekend. And on today's episode,
we're going to be talking aboutgiving to others as we explore
(00:42):
five steps to our mental wellbeing. Research suggests the
acts of giving and kindness canhelp improve your mental well
being creating positive feelingsand a sense of reward, giving
you a feeling of purpose andself worth helping you connect
with others. It can be smallacts of kindness towards other
(01:04):
people, and larger ones likevolunteering at a local
community. So guys, welcome tothe episode, we're gonna dive
into these topics. And I hopethat you guys are having a
really great day today. The lastepisode that we published
yesterday, we talked aboutlearning a new skill. So if you
guys are following along, I hopethat you guys have started
(01:25):
learning a new skill that youcan put into practice, we talked
about being confident with thoseskills, and the ways that it can
help our lives improve. And sonow we're going to dive into
giving to others. And, you know,this is really a way that I've
experienced, since I've comeinto recovery, that giving to
somebody else, it brings me somuch satisfaction and so much
(01:49):
joy. It really does. Like I getsuch a high off of it. It's
weird. But it really like I getthis like crazy high off of
giving people gifts, and givingthem compliments, and telling
them that I'm proud of them. AndI acknowledge them, right,
acknowledging somebody that'ssuch a gift that you can give to
(02:10):
somebody. Because our world isso locked into technology. And
we're all on our phones all thetime. And we're not
acknowledging each other. We'renot saying hello to each other
on the street, saying hello tosomebody is a gift. That's a
gift to us an act of kindness.
So how are we creating positivefeelings in our lives, and
(02:34):
giving us a sense of reward. Sowhat does reward mean? A reward
means that we're gettingsomething in return. Now, it
might not be monetary, it mightnot be tangible, right? The
reward that I get when I givesomebody a compliment, or I give
somebody a hello, or I recognizethem. And I say that I see you
(02:56):
and I appreciate what you'redoing. And I'm proud of you. The
reward I get is the reward ofknowing that I am doing
something good. I'm hopefully Ihopefully feel that I am helping
that person's day even more.
Because a lot of times we gothrough life unacknowledged. We
don't have anybody acknowledgingwhat we're doing. We don't have
(03:18):
anybody giving us those positivevibes. Let's say hey, man,
you're doing a great job. And Isee what you're doing brother.
This is gonna give us a purpose,guys. It gives us self worth. It
makes us feel like all the hardwork that we're doing is worth
something, all the effort thatwe've put into something, and we
(03:41):
get that compliment from a bossor a friend or a family member
or a loved one. Or even astranger where they come up and
they say to you, you I see whatyou're doing. And I appreciate
what you're doing. Thank you.
(04:03):
Man. That's just so cool. Man,it just makes my heart full when
I when I think about stuff likethat. It is helping us connect
with other people. I want you totry that today. I want you to
(04:25):
tell two people in your life,that you acknowledge them, you
see what they're doing, and youappreciate what they're doing
for you. And I want you to thankthem. And then I want you to
think about how do you feelafterwards? What did that feel
like? What was their reactionlike? Right? This could be small
(04:48):
acts of kindness towards otherpeople like we just talked
about, or even larger ones likevolunteering in your local
community.
I consider myself work on thesepodcasts because I don't make
any money off of them. As acommunity service, it's a
volunteer work that I do puttingthese episodes for you guys out.
(05:10):
Man, I get so much pleasure outof seeing the downloads come in
and seeing that people areconnecting with this podcast.
And that you guys are actuallygetting something out of these
is so rewarding. And it makeseverything that I do all the
hours for each episode that Ispend, you know, deciding what
the episode is going to be aboutrecording the episode doing post
(05:32):
production on the episodegetting advertising ready for
the episodes, posting theepisodes, getting the script
written for the episodes, youknow, all of these things, man,
when I see that that podcast isstarting to download, and I see
all the people that it'sstarting to reach 345 600 people
on one episode, man, it'samazing. It's amazing to know
(05:56):
that you know that this apppodcast that I started, not even
eight months ago, is reaching somany people now. Say thank you
to somebody today, please go outthere and say thank you to
somebody for something they havedone for you. Thank you goes
(06:19):
such a long way withcommunication to others. Ask
friends, family or colleagueshow they are and really
listening to their answer. Iasked people how they're doing
and a lot of times we get thisgeneric response. Oh, I'm doing
great man. And a lot of times Ilike to stop them. And I say,
(06:43):
Man, I heard what you just said,but how are you really doing?
And the look on their face islike, Oh, shit. He sees me. He
heard what I said. But heactually wants to know, he
(07:03):
didn't want to get the genericanswer that Yeah. Oh, I'm doing
great today. Thanks for askingme. You know, and I'm, I'm I do
that to people. I do thatbecause it's such an automatic
response. And maybe there's somefear, maybe there's some shame
that goes along with that,right? Because maybe we feel
(07:24):
like if we actually told peoplehow we really were doing at that
time, if it wasn't fine anddandy, then maybe we would be
judged, or maybe there would besome concern for us. Or maybe
there's some embarrassment onour end. But I think that we
need to start getting into thehabit of expressing ourselves.
(07:45):
And we don't have to go intogreat detail when we tell
somebody how we're doing. Youknow, if somebody says, Hey,
Carl, how you're doing? And youknow, I'm not just gonna go off
and say, Well, let me tell youabout my day. Dude, my cat died,
my dog died. Man, I ran over mybig toe with the car. And my
bank account got drained today.
I don't know why I'm putting anaccent on there people. But, you
(08:06):
know, we don't have to go into alot of detail about it. But I
think the fact that somebodyasks us and they show the
genuineness of their intent, andthey show us that they're paying
attention. Maybe it's up to usto be courteous enough to
actually give them a real answerinstead of just say, you know,
(08:27):
hey, I'm doing great, thanks forasking. How much time are you
spending with your friends, yourrelatives who need support, or
company? Sometimes it's hard forme to get into that, you know,
space where I know somebody isgoing through something. And I
(08:48):
want to be supportive. So I'llput that out there. And I'll be
like, Hey, I hope you're doingokay, let me know if I can help
you. And you know, a lot oftimes I'm keeping my fingers
crossed, and I'm saying, oh,man, I hope this person doesn't
reach out because I won't knowwhat to say to them. I won't
know what to do. That's okay.
(09:09):
That's okay. If you don't knowwhat to say it's okay. If you
don't know what to do. A lot oftimes when people reach out to
us and they need that comfort,and they need that space to to
vent and they need all of that.
A lot of times us just being onthe other end of the phone or
sitting with that person andjust being there is going to
give them a lot of comfort. Justlistening to them is going to
give them a lot of comfort. Theyaren't necessarily looking for
(09:32):
you to answer their questions.
They just want somebody to ventto, they want somebody to say
Man, this is how my day isgoing, my dog died, my friend
died, you know,what have you or, you know,
breaking up with my with mygirlfriend or something like
that, you know? A lot of timespeople just need an ear that
will listen. And I've learnedthat working in the counseling
(09:54):
field. You know, a lot of timeswhen I have a client sitting
across For me, and they're goingthrough things. It's okay just
to listen, and let them knowthat you hear them. Give
empathy, give that support tothat person. We talked about
doing DIY projects in our lastepisode. But maybe it's not you
(10:19):
that starting the DIY project.
Maybe it's somebody that youknow, and you want to help them.
An act of kindness can go so farin somebody's lives, that we
have a responsibility to be kindto each other so that others can
pay it forward. I hope that youguys have enjoyed today's
(10:42):
episode, and I look forward toseeing you guys tomorrow on Part
Five, thank you