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November 3, 2022 54 mins

Ever been fascinated by the thrilling world of DJing and the music industry? Ever wondered about the challenges and the highs that come with it? Join us as we sit down with Kelly Reverb, a seasoned DJ from Dallas, Texas, who offers a unique perspective on this world. Kelly, who started his journey at the world-renowned Bill's Records, walks us through his musical voyage, his experiences with his group Southside Reverb, Hard Kiss Brothers, and the lost skill of DJs today.

We continue the conversation, shedding light on the dark side of the music industry that often goes unnoticed. Kelly opens up about his struggle with addiction, the impact of drugs and alcohol on his life, and how he found solace in podcasting during his recovery. His transformation from a raver to a DJ, getting signed to a record label, and his track being featured in a film are just a few highlights of his journey. Kelly also discusses the importance of destigmatizing addiction, a subject that affects people from all walks of life.

Kelly's journey doesn't stop at overcoming addiction. We explore his life post-recovery, the tools that aided him in his journey, and the lessons he learned. He shares how sobriety has improved his relationship with his wife and how he managed his mother's passing and being the executor of her estate. He also delves into the importance of finding one's purpose and offers insights on how to change the world. This episode is a testament to the power of personal transformation and the freedom that comes from breaking free from addiction - a truly inspiring journey of resilience, courage, and personal growth. Join us on this enlightening episode of the Drunken Worm Podcast.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Alright, guys, and welcome totoday's episode, episode number
40 on the Drunken Worm Podcast.
My name is Carl, the host of theshow, and I got a great show
lined up for you, guys, andwelcome again to season two.

(01:07):
This is our second episode forthe season and we're starting to
get into the fall season aswell, and we have the holidays
coming up, so we have a lot ofgreat content for you guys
coming out on the Drunken WormPodcast and I want to remind
everybody, if you're new to thepodcast or you've switched over

(01:28):
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what that's going to allow isit's going to allow you to get
notifications when we have newepisodes posting and that way
you can stay up to date with allthe great content that we're
going to be putting out overthis next season.
And again, our new style forthis season right now is we're

(01:50):
doing one episode a month, soevery the first Tuesday of every
month we are going to beputting out a new episode and
you are listening to the secondepisode of season two, episode
40.
And we just a lot of really,really good guests coming in.
Today's guest is from Dallas,texas, and we're going to bring

(02:11):
him into the show heremomentarily.
Also, I want to remind you guysif you can, please give our
show a rating.
This is going to allow otherpeople to find the show If
they're on their podcastsubscribing apps and they want
to look up recovery podcasts.
When you guys give us a ratingout there, it bumps us up and

(02:32):
allows other people to startfinding the show and they can
also experience what you'reexperiencing, which I hope is
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for you.
You can visit our website atthe drunkenwormpodcastcom.
You can also visit our Facebookpage and our Instagram page at
the TWD podcast on Instagram andthe drunkenworm podcast on

(02:56):
Facebook, and I want to thankeverybody for taking the time
and listening.
I've gotten a lot of messagesfrom you guys asking when we're
going to start the show up again, and so I'm just so happy to be
back behind the microphonetalking to people on recovery,
talking to really great guestsand hearing their amazing

(03:17):
stories about how they've foundsobriety and also, you know,
what they're doing now withtheir lives.
So again, we have a reallygreat guest for you lined up
today.
He's coming in from Dallas,texas, and, without any further
ado, let's get on with thisweek's episode.
Welcome to the drunkenwormpodcast.

(03:37):
Each week, I will be bringingyou dynamic content that will
educate and inspire.
This podcast was created totalk to mental health
professionals about addiction,recovery and their own personal
stories that can help inspire usto become better people and
live healthier lives.
And again, welcome to episode40.
My name is Carl, the host andcreator of the drunkenworm

(03:58):
podcast, and I hope that all ofyou guys are having a fantastic
day.
Maybe you're at the gymlistening to us on a treadmill,
maybe you're on your way to work, but I hope that you guys are
making the best that you can outof this wonderful life that
we've created for ourselves, nowthat we've found sobriety or
maintaining our mental health.
So our guest today is a DJ,kelly reverb, and he is coming

(04:21):
in from Dallas, texas.
He also has a podcast calledthe pink cloud and with Lone
Star Productions, so I want tobring Kelly into the show.
Man Kelly, welcome to thedrunkenworm podcast, brother.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Hey, thanks for having me on oh yeah, you're
absolutely welcome man,Absolutely.
So it's actually this pinkcloud.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Oh, okay, my apologies.
So this pink cloud no problem.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean the pink cloud was that URL was already taken.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Oh was it.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Dang, I had to go with this pink cloud.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Oh well, I like that better actually.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
So well, great Well, welcome to the show man.
You and I had an opportunity totalk in length yesterday and I
was so excited when our friendBrett introduced us from his
podcast, and you've been on hisshow before and you have your
own show that you do, which isan amazing show.

(05:19):
It's on YouTube, and is therealso an audio version of your
show as well that you put out?

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, it's actually probably on this format that
you're listening to.
Okay, so yeah, I use Anchor andit pushes to all of the major
streaming platforms.
Perfect, so yeah.
And then if they want to findthe YouTube channel, you just go
to this pinkcloudcom and itwill take you to the YouTube

(05:49):
channel.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's great man, all right, and I made a little show
note there for this pink cloud.
So when I read it off later on,I'm not going to, I won't put
the pink cloud, okay.
So, kelly, you're a person inlong-term recovery.
You and I also have kind of asimilar background, being that
we're both DJs.

(06:13):
You started in the rave scene alittle bit earlier than I did,
but we have had some, probablysome similar experiences with
that type of industry and thennow we're both in recovery.
So why don't you give us alittle background to yourself

(06:33):
and how you've kind of come intoyour recovery now?

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, yeah for sure.
Well, as far as like the DJing,I started the DJ probably
around 88.
That'll date me so.
But right around the end ofhigh school I started DJing and
then obviously I found out thatyou could get paid and you could

(07:05):
drink for free and it had allthe perks of a dream job for me
and you're playing music.
So I kind of started off top 40, but I had always kind of had
an affinity for what they nowcall EDM, but back then it was

(07:26):
called like House Music andAsset House and then something
called Breakbeat came out and sobasically I was working at a
record store here in Dallas it'skind of a world famous record
store called Bill's Records andwe were really connected to the

(07:50):
music working at the recordstore.
And if you've ever seen themovie High Sedality, it's
exactly like that.
So a bunch of jaded, pompouskids working at the record store
and just loving it.
And we were it wasn't, we werepushing like Mariah Carey, we

(08:13):
were pushing whatever was coolthat week and then we had like a
dance portion of that store.
So basically I'm in contactwith all the major distributors,
like Watts and Nemesis and allthat kind of stuff, and

(08:35):
basically I was DJing and oneday I had kind of an epiphany.
I was, there was a record by aguys from San Francisco called
Hard Kiss, hard Kiss Brothers,right.
So I was sitting there and Iwas like, well, these guys are

(08:55):
from San Francisco, you know how, you know, how do I know about
them here in Dallas, texas?
I'm like, oh well, throughtheir production.
So then I started to produce,you know, records and that
really kind of took offimmediately.

(09:16):
You know, like, as far as I,you know, the the first it was
actually a group calledSouthside Reverb, because I
wanted to kind of do the wholehard kiss brothers, you know,
and then they go by, you know,robbie Scott and Gavin, you know
, and so I wanted to beaffiliated With my project.

(09:39):
So of course I had to come upwith a name first, so and I went
with Southside Reverb, becauseTexas South, all that kind of
stuff, and so I put out arelease and and you know,
actually got some attention fromthat release and then basically

(10:01):
he honestly started touring.
You know, once that releasecame out, and yeah, it was, it
was pretty, it was prettyamazing and pretty, overnight,
just that, that instant, youknow, feedback and and Momentum
gained from just one release.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, and you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking to
myself because the what?
What year was this when you hadthat first release?

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Probably right around 95.
Okay, okay, so I think of acontingency plan.
I didn't want to be, I didn'twant to work at the record store
for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, and as much fun as that sounds, yeah, yeah,
definitely having a contingencyplan and, and you know,
propelling yourself forward witha career DJing.
But you know I have someexperience also producing.
I haven't actually Let me backup, I have some experience in
the studio, sure.

(11:04):
So you know I I'm going toSimon studio, dj Simon apex from
subsonic underground recordingsand seeing his studio.
You know, even back in theearly 2000s it was still pretty
analog.
You know a lot, of, a lot ofMachines on the side with the

(11:25):
computer set up to do likefruity loops, or if you give you
my, if you go to my Facebook,there is a picture of my analog
studio.
But I love that though, because,like you and I were talking
about, you know, you and Istarted DJing in the age of

(11:46):
vinyl.
God, that sounds so strange tome, but the age of vinyl, right
and and now, you actually had tohave a skill set.
Right to actually mix exactly,you had to train your ears.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
It was an actual acquired talent.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Exactly exactly and you know, and and going through
that whole process of teachingMyself how to do that but also
teaching myself about Cubase and, you know, producing beats and
everything like that.
And I'm, I'm, you know, noteven an intro person on

(12:23):
producing beats, so that thatwasn't anything that really like
took off for me.
But I did some classes incollege on it and and everything
.
So I understand the mechanicsof the computer system.
I just wasn't good at producingthe, you know getting the synth
and also the plugins and stufflike that, sure, when I was

(12:46):
doing it.
But you know, just this wholeera I feel is like this lost
skill that DJs.
Now, you know, you have allthese young kids coming up and
like, now I'm a DJ and I thinkthe whole, the whole Paris
Hilton effect.
Yeah, you know, I'm like, wow, Imean let's put them in front of

(13:07):
two turntables with some vinyland they, they wouldn't know
what to do, you know.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Oh, yeah, so yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's definitely kind ofbecome Like mainstream and, like
you said, everybody can be a DJ.
So yeah, it's like I don't hateon that, but it is nice when
you're going to see a person foran actual talent, right, right,
I mean skill at which which youcan still have that talent and

(13:35):
skill you know electronically.
But it also opens up, you know,to Two people that actually
might not have done the timeright, you know, right, may not
have done those, what is it?

Speaker 1 (13:51):
10,000 hours yet 10,000 hours of the grind behind
the turntables and right youknow have, knowing when you have
to replace your needle orputting.
Did you ever put like a Nickelor a penny on on top of the the

(14:13):
head just to keep it like if itwas a Unbalanced turntable and
you couldn't really get itbalanced?
Did you ever do?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
that, yeah, yeah and hope you did?

Speaker 1 (14:25):
you turn into MacGyver right, exactly, exactly
which is a great show, by theway.
Now now we're really datingourselves.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
So yeah, man, but you know just this whole industry
and and I know that we're kindof breaking away from the
recovery talk, but but it's notoften that I get to talk kind of
shop with people on the showthat are in recovery.
We had the episode I givingthanks with Simon apex and Queen
B there, you know a powercouple right there in the

(14:59):
hardcore and breakbeat scene butyou know, but it's it's really
great to see, and I went to anevent with Simon and I would say
like 80% of the people that Iknew prior are now like sober
and Either working a program ofrecovery or just right

(15:20):
abstaining from, you know,drinking or using drugs, and
sure, well, that's a funny.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
That's a funny thing because you know it is one of
those Job hazards, that that waskind of unlisted, that I mean
me personally.
I didn't sign up to be analcoholic right.
You know, I always like to saythat Alcohol is the ultimate

(15:49):
slow play.
So if you're a poker person,you know it's.
You don't realize that it'shappening until all of a sudden.
Yeah, it happened.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Exactly, exactly.
You know the same with drugsbecause, like my, my whole thing
was uppers ecstasy and you knowI started raving as a raver and
not as a DJ and so that waslike that was the whole, like
draw to the party was Okay,great.
What type of pills can we taketo enhance?

Speaker 2 (16:24):
our experience.
And I never little drug history.
Actually, mdma was popularizedat a club start club here in
Dallas really.
Yeah, so that's where it reallykind of took off came out of
the laboratory and somePsychiatrists discovered her.
He didn't actually discover theelement, but he'd, you know,

(16:46):
kind of popularized it here andthey used to actually Go around
with trays of ecstasy and justhand it out.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
What?
Yeah?
Yeah, that's like yeah.
Did you see the movie formula51?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
I have not.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Oh my gosh, was Samuel Jackson and he's this, um
, this drug dealer.
I don't think he's a drug lord,but he's a drug dealer.
And, um, God, it's this greatrave scene where he's like
holding up this bag of ecstasypills and he's like I'm going to
free your mind with with thispill, and now I'm going to set

(17:22):
you free, and he reaches intothe bag and he like throws
ecstasy out into the crowd.
Um, and I actually they theymade a remix of it, using that
vocal um as an intro to one ofthe songs that I really like,
and so I used that as on um oneof my mixes, as kind of my intro

(17:43):
.
Um, and I was like man, just,it's a really good movie.
If anybody is out there andwants to see a great Samuel
Jackson movie.
He wears a kilt the whole time.
Um, he has golf clubs and hehas a mean golf swing when he
hits people.
Um, but, uh, yeah, it's, it'sactually a really good movie, so
I will have to check that out.

(18:04):
Yeah, Absolutely, Formula 51.
Um, so, yeah, man, so okay.
So now you've kind of startedplaying out and, um, enjoying
yourself, yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Speaking of movies, I mean I get, I get so far, um,
I'm from being self produced,right, and putting out these
first couple of releases, uh,and then I'm getting, I like,
honestly, I got hit up for amovie that had Mark Wahlberg in
it and then it was going to gothrough, but then they decided

(18:38):
to change the soundtrack to likeAOR, which is album oriented
rock, so they went with more ofa like a Bush format that movie.
But they never paid me.
So who cares?
But?
But so I get signed to thislabel called ESP sign, which is

(18:59):
based out of Holland, but thenNew York, uh, they have a, you
know, an affiliate in New Yorkand they, uh, you know, they
start doing their thing andtheir parent company is actually
Roadrunner Records, uh, whichis like typo negative and stuff
like that.
But so so on ESP son, I end up,uh, you know, they say, hey, we

(19:24):
want a single single.
Goes really well.
And then, of course, you know,they usually do a three single
with a with an album you know,like if things are going well.
So we end up doing a full album.
But one of those tracksactually gets licensed to a
movie which is called the Bladeby Wesley with Wesley Snipes.

(19:47):
So my track is in there.
Um, and if it's like right whenhe pulls up his blade at the
end, uh, that's my track.
Wow, just fun fact.
But I was like, well, why we'retalking movies?
Yeah, yeah Well that's so, yeah,and I'm like, um, you know, I'm

(20:08):
doing all that, um, um, uh, youknow, and the whole time I'm
I'm traveling, so from like 95,and I'll say till about, you
know, 2005, 2010,.
You know, I mean probably from2005 to 2010,.
It starts to taper and I startto kind of go oh shit, but, um,

(20:30):
but as far as the you know,traveling and stuff like that,
um, you know, it was just, itwas my job every weekend and uh,
you know, obviously everybodycan probably relate to being a
little bit of a nervous flyer,you know.
So, um, you know.

(20:51):
That being said, hey, there'san easy solution for that.
It's a little something calledalcohol, you know, and the funny
thing is, is I, honestly, I,you know, you were talking about
mental health earlier, or youhad mentioned that in the
beginning I actually sufferedfrom really, really bad anxiety.

(21:11):
Um, and you know, when you haveyour first panic attack in the
Pittsburgh airport, mr Aka, mrRogers neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
And you're, you're 25 , and you think you're having a
heart attack, and you know youhaven't done anything.
And then you go, you know, andat that time I was flying, you
know, first class, so you know Ibarely make it, you know to my,
to my plane, and then you knowI'm like they're serving

(21:47):
cocktails, so of course, okay,well, I'll try, you know, I'll
take one.
Hey, and guess what?
Man?
It worked.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
And then all of a sudden, there's a learned
behavior.
Hey, anytime, anytime you feelanxiety or anything like that,
just throw a little vodka at itand you know you'll be good.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Absolutely yeah, yeah .
And it was like that for me,with the ecstasy too.
It was, you know, like thislearned behavior, that like, oh
my gosh, you know, music thatnormally probably would have
driven me crazy initially, likebecame tolerable and enjoyable
and this new experience and youknow, I remember thinking to

(22:36):
myself sitting on this in thiswarehouse it was called TELIC
and it was, you know, in theheart of Oakland's warehouse
district and Oakland isdefinitely like not the best
place to be like hang around atlike two in the morning in
general.
But you know, and and I justremember, you know, sitting

(22:58):
there thinking to myself likehow could life get any better
than this?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
And I'm in a cuddle, puddle on the floor.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Exactly Dirty ass warehouse yeah right and life is
good, life is great, man, or?
You know, I was standing infront of.
Like you know, they have towersof speakers in this warehouse
and so you're just sitting infront of the speakers, you know,
and and.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I used to play a spot called home base.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Oh yeah, home base in .

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oakland.
And I used to play for it.
It was ghost tribe.
I used to play for them all thetime.
Okay, yeah, so shout out ghosttribes.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, and home base.
Wow, home base is like that'sthat was so home base, home base
.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Basically a home depot was abandoned, or or just
warehouse space, and they usedto have just ragers all the time
.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, yeah, home base was one of the great, great
places out there.
I think Telleck kind of pickedup after home base, you know,
dissolved because I don't knowif they tore it down or whatever
happened to that spot.
But yeah, some really great.
You know underground, you knowunderground spots for raves and

(24:11):
you know what now we call EDMmusic.
So yeah, man.
So tell me, at what point inyour life did you realize that?
Hey, this is probably like Ineed to make a change.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, okay so.
So, like I said, it's kind ofstarts slowing down and I mean
I'm, you know, like, I've got,you know, moving.
You know some tracks and movies.
I'm also producing my stuff onmy own label, lone Star Records.
That's going well, everythingis going great.
And then that thing called theMP3 comes out and you know vinyl

(24:52):
sales tank and there's not thattactile, you know, advertising
that people get in their handevery week, you know from going
to the record store and seeingyour name.
So then it starts to wane, youknow, and I'd like so, you know,

(25:12):
any good DJ and to keep theparty going and to not get a
real job.
You know, I mean I just start,I start falling back and I start
doing, you know, just morelocal stuff.
Yeah, so I've got enough of aname to still, you know, go and
get the cool gigs and and play,you know, here in Dallas and

(25:33):
then occasionally play out onthe road, but you know still
enough to do that.
And then you know, justprogressively, I would say, from
2010.
2015,.
You know I have to startgetting creative.
I'm starting to start doingeBay and other stuff.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
And.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
I mean I'm also having you know jobs in the
meantime, like I've done salesand stuff like that, because hey
, it's a nice thing to haveinsurance.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
So you know, but I start doing that, but like,
probably I mean, but the entiretime I mean think about this.
So from 18 to, you know, 45,you know, I've been drinking
pretty steadily and having that,having that knowledge that
alcohol is going to fix whateverthe problem is.

(26:27):
And then also, when I say I wasworking sales, it was a sales
job from home.
So you know, captain's got thedrinking light on all day, yeah,
yeah, so made for someinteresting sales calls.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
But then Nope, we lost you there.
Can you hear me?
All right, we're going to workon getting Kelly back on the
show here just momentarily.

(27:07):
All right, now we got Kellyback.
Welcome back, yeah.
So yeah, that was weird man,exactly, exactly, so you were
talking about.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
You were talking about doing sales, yeah and yeah
, and it just becomes a part ofyour lifestyle.
It's not a problem, you'restill making money and
everything's good.
And then it just basically Isay that drinking wasn't a

(27:44):
problem until it was a problem.
It was like the answer until itbecame the problem.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, because I mean it really got bad starting
around 2015,.
It was daily drinking.
How long can you keep up dailydrinking?
How long can you write thatship?
Because that's all you do.
I mean, when you're drinking,you just drink your way out of
it.

(28:14):
Yeah, you learn like, hey, okay, there is something to having
that beer the next day whenyou're hungover, yeah, but so I
was doing that and it just gotto be where.
It was a daily thing.
And obviously the tailgatingI'm still DJing and stuff, but

(28:38):
the tailgating before the DJ gigstarts a little early, which is
pretty much all day.
And then it gets to a point andthis is like pre-COVID to where
I started blacking out that DJgigs.
So it was just like, andblacking out, you get to where

(29:00):
maybe one time, oh okay, yeah,it was a blood sugar thing.
But then it's just like, ohyeah, this guy's got a problem.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
So you know, I mean I just had to sit in that misery
and be on that treadmill, youknow, like for a good, I don't
know, probably like three yearswhere I was doing that and

(29:37):
obviously I didn't want to go torehab, I didn't need rehab you
know, but thank God my wife wasspurring me on to go to rehab
and I was like, okay, well, I'llgo, but I'm not going to do any
of the legwork.
You got to find the rehab forme and I guess I'll go.

(29:59):
So, you know I mean the thing isis I went did the rehab and you
know I had 30 days, you knowwhere I went in and I was glad I
did that over just a medicaldetox, because it gave me a

(30:21):
little time for that, you know,brain fog to clear Because
honestly I was going to get outand then I was going to be able
to drink like a normal person.
Yeah yeah, you know, but whenyou're in there you hear so many
tales of people you know.
Yeah, good luck sociallydrinking you know, yeah.

(30:46):
So then it just became kind of anumbers thing.
Like at that end of 30 days Iwas like I was like, well, look,
you've given alcohol, you know,a good 25 years of your life.
And by the time, by the way,when I went into, when I went
into rehab, I was fully diabetic.

(31:06):
So I gave myself diabetes, Iwas having to give myself
insulin shots and all this stuff.
But in that 30 days I got towean off of insulin shots.
So that tells you somethingabout my alcohol intake.
You know that I can basicallybring on the onset of diabetes.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
You know yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
So, so that, so that clears up and I'm like, hey,
let's, you know, let's, givesobriety just a little bit of a
chance.
You know we've, we've, we'vegiven alcohol 25 years, 30 years
of our life.
You know it was a good ride,you know.
But you know things arestarting to fall, you know, fall

(31:52):
apart with that in your life.
So, you know, let's, let's makea responsible decision here.
And so that was July of 2020.
So that would be July 12, 2020.
That's my sobriety date.
So you know, we're two yearsand some change.

(32:17):
And you know, once, once I gotsober, you know, I'm just like
my sister was actually doing AMradio and I was like, oh well,
hey, let's start up this, youknow.
And then they moved topodcasting and I was like, well,
you know, I mean, how fun wouldthat be?

(32:37):
Kind of, probably like yourthought process.
You know, let's, let's get outthere and spread that message.
And, you know, maybe, maybe,people will, you know, learn and
also also to destigmatize.
You know it, because, honestly,some of the best people I know

(32:58):
are heroin addicts.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
You know, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
Yeah, I mean honestly , it's funny to say that.
But you know, it's just thatone component and it doesn't
make them a bad person.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah, it's, it's really, really true.
You know that the destigmatizeand to look at people in a
different manner.
I remember working at Duffy'sand we had this doctor that
would come in and he had theslideshow and he would throw

(33:31):
images up on the slides andeverything and and he would say,
okay, now, which one of theseis the alcoholic?
And it was like I think one ofthem was like a president,
another one was an actor, youknow, and blah, blah, blah, blah
, but and then one was ahomeless person and kind of the

(33:53):
moral was that everybody wouldpick the homeless person over
the president or over this actorthat was.
You know that they felt waslike, well, I mean, we didn't
hear anything about an alcoholproblem with them, but you know,
this person sitting on thestreet with a sign obviously has
an alcohol problem.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, I mean, on my show I've had like Brian Cuban,
which happens to be the brotherof Mark Cuban.
So you know, I mean, rightthere, it shows that drugs and
alcohol do not discriminate.
Yeah, you know, I mean you canbe.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
There are plenty of people that are completely
miserable and and rich, yeah,yeah, I mean, and it's very
apparent nowadays too there wasa recent court thing with a very
famous actor and his girlfriendor wife, Right.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
That was very recent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, jd might benavigating his own problems.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, right, but you know.
But, like you said, mentalhealth and addiction.
It doesn't discriminate who itlatches on to, and right, it can
affect any of us and it affectsa lot of us.
And the sad part is that a lotof us don't get the help that we
need to treat these diseases,that we have Thinking that you

(35:22):
know, hey, well, I can just stopdoing it, or you know, but but
that only solves a fraction ofthe problem.
Stopping solves a very smallfraction of the problem.
But then now we're looking atbigger problems that we need to
address in order for you tomaintain your survival.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
That's what they say.
Like I thought quote the otherday that was, like you know,
quitting drinking is the easypart.
Yeah, sitting with the feelings, you know, sitting with your
feelings.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
You know, and being able to navigate, that is the
tough part.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Yeah, which you?

Speaker 2 (36:00):
know, obviously, in my case, you know, I mean I
don't know how much more time wehave, but you know, I mean,
when I got sober it didn't, itwasn't all of a sudden.
You know all unicorns andrainbows because I had a couple
of loved ones pass away.
You know, in my sobriety, youknow which it's like I don't

(36:25):
know is that you know, it's justwhere you learn to take life on
life's terms and you, you learnto be, you know, okay with
those feelings of discomfort.
And you know, hey, it's part oflife to feel anxious sometimes
and it's part of life to feelsad sometimes.

(36:46):
You know, and that's all we'retrying to do as addicts and
alcoholics, or, you know, aswe're just trying to mask what
you know, what you know, ourfeelings, and basically kind of
dictate and put us in a comfortzone.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Right.
So, yeah and and yeah I it's.
It's so interesting I.
That's why I love talkingrecovery, because it really is
this, this conversation that wecan have that a lot of people
can understand.
But even you know, and a lot ofpeople have to go through and

(37:28):
and just by talking about it andletting people hear stories
like yours and hearing about thesuccesses that we can have
after we come into a program ofrecovery, you know is is
uplifting and and with my storyI really latched on to podcasts
as part of my recovery, to oneof my recovery tools coming,

(37:51):
coming doing my outpatient rehabwith Kaiser and well, and I
love how you say that becauseyou know I'm, I celebrate
multiple pathways.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
You know, like, of recovery, because obviously
there's your, your, your 12 step, which I'm a huge fan of, but
it's not always a fit forsomebody.
So you know CBT, which iscognitive behavioral therapy,
you know there's, but all thesethings and what you said, like
your podcast, it's, it's thinkof your recovery, you know as a

(38:27):
toolbox, so it's just anothertool in your toolbox and you
know the more tools you can havethen, the more you know
circumstances, you have thosetools to address that situation
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Exactly, and you know I always tell my clients.
You know I'm giving you toolsto put on your tool belt, but
it's up to you.
If you want to use those toolsLike you have the ability to
reach over and grab it.
But if you choose to, that's,that's your decision, and I
can't make anybody use theirtools.
I can only present them to themand say, okay, now you know, if

(39:07):
you want me to teach you how touse the tool, then you know we
can.
we can do that, and so you canperfect and become better at
using these tools and navigatingyour feelings and coming up
with positive coping mechanismsversus these negative coping
mechanisms that we would useright, using or drinking to Well
and you said somethingimportant there.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
You know you cannot make somebody want.
You know you cannot makesomebody want to be sober or
want this.
You know, yeah, and it's thatwhole law of attraction, you
know so absolutely, absolutely,man.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
So tell me, tell me, kelly, what is your life like
now that you've that you'reworking on a program of recovery
, you're sober, and what doesthat look like for you Now?

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Well, I mean, obviously I tried to keep you
know I'll hit a meeting everyonce in a while.
I mean, I like to, I like tostay connected and I think
community is paramount inrecovery.
You know, being part of a tribe, whatever that tribe might be,

(40:19):
yeah, I think you know, and thebeautiful thing about it is you
and I, even though we have, likeyou know, connected routes with
music, but now we can, I can go.
Hey, dude, I know that feelingof desperation, right, I know
that, that feeling, but, but now, you know, for me it's doing

(40:42):
doing the podcast which I justrelaunched, like two, three
weeks ago.
Yeah, I took a sabbaticalbecause my mother passed away
and she was a bit of a hoarder,so that guess who gets to clean
up her room?
Okay, this guy.

(41:02):
So about, you know, 2800 squarefoot house, yeah, but you know,
and I also got my RSPS, whichin in Texas, is a recovery
support peer specialist and soit's kind of like a recovery
coach, if you will, okay, and soI got that and that is actually

(41:25):
a license that you have to get.
You have to go through acertification, actually not a
license, but so you know, I meana lot of positive stuff.
And then I, you know I get tobe there.
You know I got to be there formy mom when her, you know, life
partner of 30 plus years, passedaway.

(41:46):
And then you know, I get to bethere for my sister now, and you
know the being the executor isnot a fun gig, right, yeah.
And especially when you've got,you know, 40 years of stuff to

(42:07):
unpack.
Yes, yeah, but other than that,I mean honestly not to, not to
put a Debbie downer on it.
I mean honestly, you know,life's great.
I mean my wife with my, myrelationship with my wife, it's
much better, you know.
And then I'm.

(42:28):
The exciting thing to me is I'mnot in that prison that I
accidentally locked myself in.
Yeah, you know, I'm not in thatprison of alcohol.
Like I can, I can actually gohere and go.
Okay, well, hey, I'm going todrive to Austin, you know, which
is three and a half hours, andnot even think twice about it,

(42:50):
whereas beforehand I was like,okay, well, let me get a full
bottle of vodka and you know thecorrect mixers, maybe a little
vitamin water to, you know, so Ican navigate the road trip with
a steady buzz you know, yeah,and, and, and, all that planning

(43:11):
and always having to have thatvodka on me, you know, and have
it at the ready, you know which,which is a hell of a place to
be when alcohol, you know,becomes your job.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, and, and, and your job isto, you know, keep that.

(43:33):
You know, keep that certainlevel of buzz or comfort.
You know that you're used toyeah, absolutely and just being
free of that and and actually,you know not, well, not being
diabetic, I mean, that's, that'sa bonus.
Yeah, you know not, and I, Ialso used to wake up.

(43:55):
You know I have sleep apnea, soI used to wake up when, because
I would obviously be Hammereddrunk.
You know, maybe take a littlexanax with that, right, and and
then I would wake up and I wouldbe, if you can imagine, like
the feeling of waking up anddrowning.

(44:16):
Yeah, you know, I mean, I wasthere, dude, I was, I was
basically choking and I would dothat, you know, two, three
times a week and I mean dude, Icould have died.
Yeah easily easily yeah it's andit's just, it's just To be away

(44:36):
from that and to be removedfrom that and to be able to
function.
I mean that's you don't realizeyou know how, how I, how
freeing that is, you know, untilyou've been in that prison and
then you, it helps you toappreciate life more.
So I'm not really that bummedthat I had that problem.

(44:59):
I mean, now it puts things inperspective and now it gives me
that, oh my god, I am free.
You know, of those chains, ofthat bond, yeah, absolutely, man
.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Um well, dude, it's been so great having you on the
show and I've I've reallyenjoyed our time together.
Um, we're gonna do some rapidfire questions.
How do you feel about that man?

Speaker 2 (45:25):
It sounds good.
Yeah, I'm excited.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
Okay, awesome, all right.
Excited and nervous, don't benervous.
So so just just give me the,the answer that comes to you the
quickest.
All right, okay, all right,guys, and it's time for a rapid
fire question section Right nowwith kelly reverb.
So, kelly, what is the bestdish that you can cook?

Speaker 2 (45:54):
I Good, yeah, well, I make a mean omelette.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
Okay, an omelette, oh , that's a good one.
I like, I love omelettes, man,all right, have you?
Have you ever written a songfor someone?

Speaker 2 (46:06):
I I have made mixtapes.
That's how old I am.
I have made mixtapes for girlsback in the day Okay, all right,
okay, and I also.
I also sample people in songsas Easter eggs.
Nice, dude, nice I just put alittle subliminal in there and
go.
Hey, by the way, that's yourmessage that you left on my
answering machine.

(46:26):
That's back back when we hadthem right, exactly, that's
awesome, all right.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Uh, what is the movie you enjoy quoting the most?

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Oh my god, probably, I don't know, I find myself
quoting.
Probably I would say, uh, I'm abig fan of office space.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, okay, space.
Does anybody know that Mikejudge?

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, office space is great man.
Yeah, that's a great movie, allright.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
Yeah, I quote movies all the time, and and the
shining.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
Oh yeah, that's the Classics classics, all right.
Um, let's see, have you evergone viral online?

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Have I ever gone viral online?
What do we consider viral?
Where's the threshold?

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Something that has taken off online unexpectedly.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
I have Not, but there is hope.
I mean, you know it's funnyabout, about music.
I kind of have already goneviral, but I went viral.
I went viral analog.
Yeah, yeah because it's, it'samazing to think and I I am so
grateful that I mean millions ofpeople have heard my music and

(47:42):
and maybe even today, maybe howmany people are watching the
blade.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
You know right.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
I mean, it's just amazing that my music Uh is out
there in the world and you knowI'm just fortunate to have that.
So, uh, I don't know if thatanswered your question, yeah man
.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Yeah, most definitely .
I love that answer actually.
All right, brother, all right.
And the last question I ask allof my guests on the drunken
worm podcast is who is yourfavorite disney character?

Speaker 2 (48:13):
That's a good one.
Uh man, I I have always likedLittle jiminy cricket vibe.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
I'm going deep.
Nice, nice.
There's a great DJ out here, Ican tell you why?

Speaker 2 (48:29):
but I I've always liked him.
I just always liked hisstorytelling.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Yeah, that's great man.
There is a great DJ out here inthe bay area called jiminy
cricket.
Um back in the early 2000s andhe was a great storyteller of
music.
You know um a really good mixer, uh great uh turntable,
turntable stylist, um Goodscratch.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
You know kind of, so can I put you?
Can I do it to you now?

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yeah, man, yeah, okay .

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Here it is rapid fire .

Speaker 1 (48:59):
All right I always love to.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I always love to ask this question.
Okay, sir, and you can use thisin in every day, any day, with
your clients, or whatever.
But uh, just as a tail end.
Okay, if you could be god andyou could change one thing, what
would it be?
I'm of course I already have myanswer.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
If I could be god and I change one thing um anything,
wow.
It's a head scratcher right youknow, I would probably, I would
probably make fentanyl A drugthat was never created and could
never be created.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Uh, okay, that's not a bad, that is not a bad.
Uh, that is not a badjuxtaposition right.
Would you like to know myanswer?

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
I would say, uh, you know to to give humankind More
of a sense of purpose, or whattheir meaning is, you know, or
what they're, you know what'swhat's my purpose in?
Yeah, because I think if a lotof people have that, but I mean,

(50:19):
you know, it's also one ofthose things that, hey, it's fun
to find out what your purposeis to, right.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
So yeah, oh gosh, that's a really good question.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
I like that question Um wow, feel free to use it.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah, that's deep man , that's real deep.
Yeah, wow, okay cool.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
You're gonna be thinking about that.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah right, I'm gonna go to work and ask all my
co-workers, like, if you couldbe god, what would you change?
Like Right, um, you know, huhokay.
Okay, yeah Well, cool brother.
Well, because it's been amazinghaving you on the show.
I really appreciate you takingthe time this morning and and
coming on and and talking shopwith me and talking recovery

(51:02):
with me and and letting us getto know you a little bit.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
So yeah, and if I could just push the show, this
pink cloud, just go to this pinkcloud, calm, please hit
subscribe.
Um, and that's the youtubechannel.
But we're on all otherstreaming formats and all we're
doing is just trying to help man.
It's what I like to say.
It's infotainment.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yes, infotainment, oh , I like that.
I think we've just created anew genre.
That's great, man Well awesome.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Well, thanks for having me on man.
I really appreciate it so anddefinitely we will stay in touch
after the ship.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Yeah, most definitely .
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