Episode Transcript
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Speaker 0 (00:10):
G'day everybody.
My name is Elliot Waters andyou're listening to the
Dysregulated Podcast, as always.
Thank you for tuning in,alright, just a quick little
check in to see how I've beenover the last week or two, and
things have been.
Yeah, things have been a bitrough.
You know that whole sleepingthing that I do, where I get the
sweats.
Well, the good news is I didn'tget the sweats, but I
(00:30):
definitely did the sleepingthing, which is me being in bed
for two days doing absolutelynothing, not eating, not
drinking, barely getting thebasics done, and feeling very,
very anxious and depressed aboutit all.
So that wasn't good.
What I've noticed since I'vestopped going to work full-time
because I'm going three days aweek this is my second week of
(00:51):
doing so that I'm filling up myspare time with a whole lot of
nothing and that's not part ofthe plan.
So the reason why I've droppedback for three days is because I
have this belief, this theoryand I still think I'm right that
working full-time in thecapacity that I was severely
hampers my social abilitiesmoving forward.
(01:11):
So, socially, in my role I haveto talk to a lot of people, a
lot of team members, a lot ofcustomers, etc.
It's a very front-facing roleFor someone like me who has some
social complexities, likeautism and social anxiety
disorder and the whole rest ofit.
Five days a week of this sortof work can be very difficult,
and it has been, and I'm blaming, not blaming it work don't get
(01:34):
me wrong is good and hassupported me.
I've got no dramas when itcomes to my job, except for the
fact that I think there's amismatch of abilities and
competencies, and that's why Ineed to maybe look further
afield at something that's alittle bit more in keeping with
my social capacity, so I don'tdwindle and handicap my social
capacity because, outside ofwork, I don't have much more to
(01:56):
give.
The thing is, though, this isthe second week of three days
instead of five, and I'm finding, as I said, that I'm filling my
days off with a whole lot ofnothing, and, unfortunately, two
of these days off have beenspent, as I said, in bed, doing
a whole lot of nothing andfeeling very anxious and
depressed about it.
So that isn't good, and Ihaven't seen or I don't feel as
(02:18):
though there's been anyimprovement to my social
capacity just yet, although itis early days, but it wouldn't
shock me if I'm forced to goback to full-time anyway,
because life is very expensiveand I don't have much money, as
we know.
So I've got to pay the billssomehow.
So there's going to be thatbalance between what I'm capable
of doing as far as my outputgoes work and in work, not just
(02:42):
at this job, this isn't any jobwhat my output can be and what
the demands are going into it.
So I don't know, it's going tobe an interesting couple of
weeks.
I don't know how long thislittle test, this little theory
of part-time, is going to gobefore the bills start knocking
which they already are, let's behonest, they don't go away.
So yeah, watch this space.
(03:02):
I may go back to full timesooner than first thought, but I
don't know.
We'll see.
Hopefully not Hopefully I canstrike the balance right, have
some time to really recharge,reassess and then launch again.
That's the plan anyway.
So we'll see how that goes.
All right, um, but yeah,overall, very anxious.
Week to two weeks, as per usual.
Nothing's really changed there.
(03:23):
Medication-wise, I saw thepsychiatrist yesterday and the
metazepine has been lifted from15 milligrams to 30.
I'm going to talk more aboutmetazepine in the next couple of
episodes and we'll have a lookat what it's hopefully doing for
me.
After my episodes on socialanxiety that I did previously
(03:45):
about me going to the NewcastleKnights game.
I actually had a lot offeedback when it comes to those
episodes and others who are alsofeeling like their social
anxiety is getting in the way ofbeing able to achieve things so
soon as well.
I'm going to do an episode aboutpurely on social anxiety
disorder.
It's a big one.
It's a big one.
I want to do this one for awhile, but it takes a lot of
(04:06):
well, there's a lot of work togo into it before I feel as
though I can publish somethingthat's worthy of you listening.
So that is coming.
It might be a while, but socialanxiety disorder certainly is a
big problem for me.
It definitely seems to be a bigcomplication for my listeners.
So, for you guys, I really wantto do this episode and I want
to do it in more of a positivelight as well, so being able to
(04:28):
come up with some ideas to tryand negate the social anxiety,
the phobia of social situations,and be able to still proceed
with living and getting thethings done that you need to get
done, because, as I keep saying, life doesn't slow down for
nobody certainly doesn't for meand social anxiety is one of
those things that tries to putthe brakes on, even though we've
got the accelerator pushed down.
(04:50):
So let's release that handbrake, I think, and we'll see how we
go.
But yeah, there's been a lot ofinterest about social anxiety
disorder from those two episodes, so I'm definitely going to be
revisiting it again, especiallybecause it's still a huge part
of my psychological makeupmassive part.
So more on that soon.
Excuse me.
(05:11):
So, for those that have reachedout wanting to be a part of the
intake interviews, first off,thank you for showing your
interest.
I appreciate it and if you areone of those people, feel free
to reach out to me on Instagram,at elliotttwaters, or via
Facebook at the DisregulatedPodcast.
Apologies to those who havereached out, I have been a bit
(05:32):
delayed in getting all thedocuments sorted and sent out to
you, so that bundle will becoming out soon, once I have it
all ready to go.
So keep an eye on your inboxfor that and, as I said, if you
want to get involved, if youbelieve you have a story that's
worthy of telling which I thinkwe all do it's just about
putting that imposter syndromeaway, that inner critic away,
(05:53):
and being able to speak freely.
If you think that you'd like tobe a part of that, feel free to
reach out to me and I'll sendsome of these documents along to
you as well.
It's just more about how toframe the episode and that sort
of stuff.
It's pretty basic stuff, but Iwant to get it right because
it's not my story, it's yourstory.
That is the episode.
It's not me, I'm just alistener like everybody else and
(06:15):
I want to do your story justicebecause it deserves so.
So to do that, I want to do itproperly.
So there's some documents justto help us as far as shaping the
episode goes, getting a clearidea about what we want to
achieve, what sort of message wewant to get out there.
But at the end of the day, it'syour episodes, your story.
You are the expert and I'm justa listener like everybody else.
(06:38):
Okay, and finally, if you'vebeen watching social media my
social media, you may havenoticed is a new segment being
launched and there is it'scalled the Q&A Sessions Very
exciting.
So what it's all about is yousend in your questions that you
have on psychology, on mentalhealth, on medications,
treatments, my story whatever.
If you've got a question, sendit in and each week I'm going to
(07:00):
answer a question to the bestof my ability because I want you
guys to be as much a part ofthis as me.
So I want to get people on andget your interviews and hear
your stories and be able toshare that.
I want to get your questionsand be able to answer those,
hopefully in some sort oflogical way that makes sense.
So that's the Q&A sessionscoming each week.
(07:20):
So feel free to reach out andwe'll get stuck into that too.
I've got the first questionready to go and it's going to be
a beauty, so keep an eye outfor that one.
All right, that'll do for me.
This episode's been a long timecoming because I've been so
anxious and so just depressedabout my whole situation,
everything that I do.
Unfortunately, that spills overinto the podcasting world,
(07:42):
because when I'm in those realdepressed sort of moods I do not
believe that this podcast ismaking any sense to people,
there's no point to it and Ifind it very, very difficult to
get the motivation to get theseepisodes done.
But then I do things like thesocial anxiety, rugby league,
football episodes, the onesprevious to this.
And then I get some amazingfeedback from people who offer
(08:03):
me some great insights intotheir own world, their own
experiences, and that makes methink you know what?
Maybe this is worth doing.
Come on, elliot, keep going.
So that's why there's been a bitof a delay because, to be
honest with you, I've been verydepressed, but today's been a
little bit different.
I've just been outside gettingsome sun it's actually sunny
again, which is amazing, sothat's good for your mental
(08:24):
health.
So I've been outside with theheadphones on, bopping away
trying to get some of thosenatural endorphins and stuff
like that flowing.
You know, I put some washingout before in the sun, had my
shirt off and everything.
Thankfully, I think no one waswatching, because, I tell you,
the rig is looking very sloppyat the moment, but that's okay,
I'm sure I'll turn that aroundquickly, um, but yeah, trying to
(08:47):
get some natural endorphinsgoing, because I have been so
flat the last I don't know 15years, but you know, the last
week and a half in particular.
Very, you know, like my anxietyis always there, but my
depression sort of comes andgoes, but it's been coming.
Let me tell you, it has beenthere quite a bit recently, and
it still is, but hopefullyputting this episode out there,
getting the washing on the line.
(09:07):
I know it sounds like basicstuff, but that is the point at
which I find myself needing toget these basics, the
fundamentals that I talk about,getting them ticked off and then
you can build a life worthliving around.
That, or at least that's theplan.
All right, thank you everybodyfor listening.
I do appreciate it.
If you're enjoying the show,feel free to like, subscribe,
(09:29):
give the show a great rating andyou can share it around with
your mates.
And you can follow me onInstagram at elliotttwaters, and
you can follow the show bysearching the Dysregulated
Podcast on Facebook.
All right, until next time.
See you later, guys.
Goodbye.