December 26, 2025 • 11 mins
A sunrise over Newcastle, a phone balanced in my car, and a decision to stop waiting for bloody perfection. In the next fortnightly check-in, I talk about the creative bottleneck that’s stalled a head full of episodes, how expectations kill momentum (again), and why pressing record is so important (as it uploading). It’s about choosing ANYTHING and focusing on consistency over polish, and naming the self-talk that gets in the way. That inner critic just won’t quit.
I also share some good news, a shift in perspective from becoming an uncle again, and where things for the podcast are heading next. That includes returning to the road transport industry, building mental health advocacy inside a culture that often rewards silence, and what retaking a load restraint course taught me about neurodivergence under pressure. The Dysregulated Podcast is expanding onto YouTube and laying the groundwork for short daily check-ins—honest, simple entries tracking mood, stress, and coping in real time. The goal stays the same: reduce stigma, build mental health literacy, and show the whole picture as it actually is.
--
Follow The Dysregulated Podcast:
Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast
YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)
Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
G'day everybody, my name is Elliot Waters, and
you're listening to the DisRegulator podcast.
As always, thank you for tuningin.
Alright, so today's episode isas raw as it gets because I just
need to get something uploaded.
This is unbelievable.
The same issues are stillhappening, which is I'm having
great difficulties being able torecord the unbelievable amounts
(00:24):
of content that I've got goingright now.
So at the moment, just a bit ofcontext, it's 5 a.m.
And this is what's beenhappening.
Because I'm so excited about thecontent that is coming your way
on this show, the dysregulatedpodcast, I've been getting up
early every single morning andI've been trying to record, and
(00:44):
I just haven't been able to.
I haven't been able to do itbecause I don't know, I guess my
expectations for the recordingis too high.
The pressure that I'm putting onmyself is too much.
And as a result, nothing isbeing recorded, which is not
ideal at all.
So what I've done today, I'mjust recording on my phone.
I'm in the car, I've just seen abeautiful sunrise over
(01:07):
Newcastle.
It's absolutely glorious.
And I feel like today's the daythat finally something gets
recorded because it's absolutelydoing my head in.
Um, because I put a lot of, as Isaid, there's a lot of
expectations around this podcastand what I do on here.
And I put a lot of, I guess Imeasure, you know, my metric for
(01:29):
success in many ways in life ishow many potty episodes I'm
pumping out.
So when I'm not pumping manyout, you can imagine how
frustrated and annoyed that Iam.
So that's why here today I'mjust doing this recording in the
car on the phone.
I'm not even doing any intromusic or anything like that.
No flashy effects.
(01:50):
This is just me talking becauseI gotta get something out of
there.
And by out of there, I mean outof my head where I live and
spend so much of my time and getit out into this recording.
So then hopefully that allows meto be more, I don't know, you
know, like relaxed and freemyself up a bit, so then I can
(02:11):
come out with the amazingcontent that's coming your way
because this is a story, right?
So not only are there a billionepisodes ready to go, or when I
say ready to go, they're in myhead, ready to go.
And they sound amazing in myhead.
The problem is I can't quitefigure out how to directly plug
maybe this is a good thing,directly plug my head and what
(02:34):
the noise is going on inside mybrain, all that into a recording
boom straight away.
If I could, I reckon it'd be alot easier.
If I didn't have to actually getmy words transformed from my
mind to my mouth to beingaudible and then recordable, I
reckon if I didn't have to dothose last steps, things would
(02:54):
be a lot easier.
But unfortunately, somewhere inbetween my thoughts, my
cognitions, and then my abilityto actually verbalize what I'm
thinking and then not be weigheddown by expectations and
negativity that then layers ontop, that's the problem.
It's the negativity, it's theexpectations, it's the weight of
(03:16):
all of that that just crushesany ability that I've had
previously of being able to pumpout episodes quickly.
I talk a lot about how, youknow, this overlay between mood
chart and podcast episodeoutput.
And that's actually not reallybeen the problem this time, you
know.
Like my mood's been pretty good.
(03:37):
Things have been going okay,other than the actual
recordings, you know, likethings have been all right.
I'm I've been working hard, youknow, it's the end of the year.
Christmas has just been andgone, um, which was good.
Being able to catch up withfamily and all that sort of
stuff, and that was really,really good.
Very wholesome because I am anuncle again.
(03:58):
So my sister had her baby boyLouis.
Geez, it'd be just a week ago.
It'd be it'd be seven, eight,nine days if that.
Um, and he was tiny and littleand cute.
And um, it was great to meethim.
So things are going good there.
That's pretty cool.
Um, I've been making some biggains as far as preparing to
launch again my career mycareer.
(04:20):
What am I laughing for?
This is very serious.
Um, so my plan is to get backinto the transport industry so I
can attempt to make some realefforts in transport as far as,
well, as far as carrying lots offreight, you know, carrying
Australia on my back in mytruck, but also um being able to
(04:41):
make some cultural changeswithin the industry as far as
mental health is concerned.
I've got a lot more to talkabout when it comes to that.
Um, I won't do that now, butthat is coming.
That is a big part of thispodcast as well, moving forward,
um, which is the amalgamation ofmy two fixations or two of my
fixations, that being the roadtransport industry and logistics
(05:06):
and also mental health.
Um, yeah, some excitingdevelopments as far as my role
as a researcher and an advocategoes through the University of
Newcastle.
So there's been some discussionsabout the plan for 2026, which
is very exciting, which is verymuch linked to this dream of
mine to amalgamate my twofixations.
(05:28):
So that's very exciting as well.
Um, back to transport briefly.
I've started doing mycertificates again.
So, first off, I've done now myload restraint course, and
there's an episode I'm going todo all about that, and that
might sound really boring forpeople that um that aren't
interested in the transportindustry who I cannot understand
(05:49):
at all.
But um it's going to be reallyinteresting because my mental
health disorders, myneurodivergence played a huge
role when I was going to get myload restraint certificate
again.
And I think it's quite, in someways, it's quite comical, but
it's it's also a very clear,defined representation of how
(06:11):
mental illness can affect justabout everything.
Um, and this load restraintcourse, let me tell you, my
mental illnesses were firing bigtime, and as a result, things
were a little bit complicatedfor me.
But the good news is I got thecertificate done, I passed the
practical just by the skin of myteeth, um, and that's all done,
(06:31):
so I can tick that box andhopefully never have to revisit
that one again.
Um, so there's some huge thingscoming with the podcast, let me
tell you.
Like, for example, um I'm gonnado some episodes on this because
this is very um important, thisis very significant.
Uh, but the Disregulated Podcastis now on YouTube.
(06:52):
That's the first littleannouncement to make.
It's not a little announcement,it's a huge announcement.
But the biggest announcement ofall is that there's a new
segment coming which involves meand it involves video, and it
involves uh even more of a, Iguess, um, intensive, raw,
honest, genuine, and fed incomelook at what it's like living
(07:16):
with multiple complex mentalillnesses.
This new segment, this dailysegment, this daily check-in is
going to revolutionize thedysregulated podcast.
It's gonna revolutionize me andmy life.
And hopefully it might do, Idon't know if it's gonna
revolutionize, that's a veryhard word to say, revolutionize
(07:36):
your life, but it's certainly, Ithink, gonna offer insights into
the world of mental illness thatjust have not been, I guess,
broadcasted in this raw,genuine, open, and fair-income
way.
And I'm very, very excitedbecause we know that I've made
this commitment to you that thispodcast is the most um revealing
(08:00):
and insightful look at mentalillness that there is.
I've made that commitment to youmany, many times, and I am
committed to that.
And this is the next, I guess,evolution in the podcast in my
offering to you, and hopefully,it will go a long, long way
into, well, at least for thepeople that listen to the show
(08:23):
and that are in the orbit ofthis show.
I'm really hoping that it'sgonna offer some insights that
is gonna continue to break downthat stigma, be very
enlightening for people, improvemental health literacy, and
hopefully get some of thoseconversations started because I
am about to reveal everythingand I'm gonna reveal it every
(08:43):
day.
And there's gonna be no secretshere.
As we know, I'm an open book andI'm so excited because, as I
said, I think this is gonna be ahuge, huge step forward and a
real consolidation of thatcommitment that I make to you
every episode that I do, eventhough the episodes have been
(09:03):
difficult to get out lately.
So, anyway, that'll do for me.
Hopefully, this recording works.
I'm using a new app on my newiPhone 17 Pro.
Yes, don't worry, I haven't wonthe lottery or anything.
This phone is costing me anabsolute fortune.
But the reason is because of theamazing video quality and this
new segment that I was justtalking about.
(09:25):
So I'm very excited.
I really hope this recording hasworked because this one is sort
of okay.
And I'm it's gonna, thisrecording I think is gonna pass
the test just.
So if you're listening to this,things are gone well.
I'm okay.
Elliot's actually going prettygood.
I'm just so incrediblyfrustrated that for some reason
(09:45):
there's this bottleneck, um,this metaphorical bottleneck, I
suppose.
Um, and I just am not able toget the content out at the
moment like I'd like to.
But I'll tell you, once it allturns around, which it will
soon, once I find the switch andeverything is in full throttle
mode, watch out becauseeverything is about to go to the
(10:08):
next level, and I'm so bloodyexcited to reveal it to you all
as soon as I can get the wordsout.
All right, I better end it nowbecause I have a feeling I'm
about to stumble over a sentenceand then I'm gonna delete this
whole recording, which I really,really don't want to do.
Hopefully, this has worked.
Let's see if I've got thetechnology uh down pat.
(10:29):
I've got no idea, but we'll see.
All right, thank you everybodyfor listening.
As always, I do appreciate it.
If you're enjoying the show,feel free to like, subscribe,
give the show a great rating.
And of course, you can now watchand listen, or not watch just
yet, but you can definitelylisten to the dysregulated
podcast on YouTube.
So if any of your mates havebeen wanting to listen to the
(10:50):
show, but they don't use Spotifyor Apple Podcasts, tell them
YouTube is a go.
Just search the DisregulatedPodcast and you will find me and
the show and all the amazingmaterial, all 220, I don't know,
it's like 226 episodes.
They've all been uploaded, readyto go.
All right, thank you everybody.
(11:11):
Have a good one.
I can't believe that thisepisode is finally done.
Thank goodness.
This sunrise, by the way, isbeautiful.
Newcastle is God's country.
That's enough from me.
I'll talk to you later.
See ya.
G'day everybody, my name is Elliot Waters, and
you're listening to the DisRegulator podcast.
As always, thank you for tuningin.
Alright, so today's episode isas raw as it gets because I just
need to get something uploaded.
This is unbelievable.
The same issues are stillhappening, which is I'm having
great difficulties being able torecord the unbelievable amounts
(00:24):
of content that I've got goingright now.
So at the moment, just a bit ofcontext, it's 5 a.m.
And this is what's beenhappening.
Because I'm so excited about thecontent that is coming your way
on this show, the dysregulatedpodcast, I've been getting up
early every single morning andI've been trying to record, and
(00:44):
I just haven't been able to.
I haven't been able to do itbecause I don't know, I guess my
expectations for the recordingis too high.
The pressure that I'm putting onmyself is too much.
And as a result, nothing isbeing recorded, which is not
ideal at all.
So what I've done today, I'mjust recording on my phone.
I'm in the car, I've just seen abeautiful sunrise over
(01:07):
Newcastle.
It's absolutely glorious.
And I feel like today's the daythat finally something gets
recorded because it's absolutelydoing my head in.
Um, because I put a lot of, as Isaid, there's a lot of
expectations around this podcastand what I do on here.
And I put a lot of, I guess Imeasure, you know, my metric for
(01:29):
success in many ways in life ishow many potty episodes I'm
pumping out.
So when I'm not pumping manyout, you can imagine how
frustrated and annoyed that Iam.
So that's why here today I'mjust doing this recording in the
car on the phone.
I'm not even doing any intromusic or anything like that.
No flashy effects.
(01:50):
This is just me talking becauseI gotta get something out of
there.
And by out of there, I mean outof my head where I live and
spend so much of my time and getit out into this recording.
So then hopefully that allows meto be more, I don't know, you
know, like relaxed and freemyself up a bit, so then I can
(02:11):
come out with the amazingcontent that's coming your way
because this is a story, right?
So not only are there a billionepisodes ready to go, or when I
say ready to go, they're in myhead, ready to go.
And they sound amazing in myhead.
The problem is I can't quitefigure out how to directly plug
maybe this is a good thing,directly plug my head and what
(02:34):
the noise is going on inside mybrain, all that into a recording
boom straight away.
If I could, I reckon it'd be alot easier.
If I didn't have to actually getmy words transformed from my
mind to my mouth to beingaudible and then recordable, I
reckon if I didn't have to dothose last steps, things would
(02:54):
be a lot easier.
But unfortunately, somewhere inbetween my thoughts, my
cognitions, and then my abilityto actually verbalize what I'm
thinking and then not be weigheddown by expectations and
negativity that then layers ontop, that's the problem.
It's the negativity, it's theexpectations, it's the weight of
(03:16):
all of that that just crushesany ability that I've had
previously of being able to pumpout episodes quickly.
I talk a lot about how, youknow, this overlay between mood
chart and podcast episodeoutput.
And that's actually not reallybeen the problem this time, you
know.
Like my mood's been pretty good.
(03:37):
Things have been going okay,other than the actual
recordings, you know, likethings have been all right.
I'm I've been working hard, youknow, it's the end of the year.
Christmas has just been andgone, um, which was good.
Being able to catch up withfamily and all that sort of
stuff, and that was really,really good.
Very wholesome because I am anuncle again.
(03:58):
So my sister had her baby boyLouis.
Geez, it'd be just a week ago.
It'd be it'd be seven, eight,nine days if that.
Um, and he was tiny and littleand cute.
And um, it was great to meethim.
So things are going good there.
That's pretty cool.
Um, I've been making some biggains as far as preparing to
launch again my career mycareer.
(04:20):
What am I laughing for?
This is very serious.
Um, so my plan is to get backinto the transport industry so I
can attempt to make some realefforts in transport as far as,
well, as far as carrying lots offreight, you know, carrying
Australia on my back in mytruck, but also um being able to
(04:41):
make some cultural changeswithin the industry as far as
mental health is concerned.
I've got a lot more to talkabout when it comes to that.
Um, I won't do that now, butthat is coming.
That is a big part of thispodcast as well, moving forward,
um, which is the amalgamation ofmy two fixations or two of my
fixations, that being the roadtransport industry and logistics
(05:06):
and also mental health.
Um, yeah, some excitingdevelopments as far as my role
as a researcher and an advocategoes through the University of
Newcastle.
So there's been some discussionsabout the plan for 2026, which
is very exciting, which is verymuch linked to this dream of
mine to amalgamate my twofixations.
(05:28):
So that's very exciting as well.
Um, back to transport briefly.
I've started doing mycertificates again.
So, first off, I've done now myload restraint course, and
there's an episode I'm going todo all about that, and that
might sound really boring forpeople that um that aren't
interested in the transportindustry who I cannot understand
(05:49):
at all.
But um it's going to be reallyinteresting because my mental
health disorders, myneurodivergence played a huge
role when I was going to get myload restraint certificate
again.
And I think it's quite, in someways, it's quite comical, but
it's it's also a very clear,defined representation of how
(06:11):
mental illness can affect justabout everything.
Um, and this load restraintcourse, let me tell you, my
mental illnesses were firing bigtime, and as a result, things
were a little bit complicatedfor me.
But the good news is I got thecertificate done, I passed the
practical just by the skin of myteeth, um, and that's all done,
(06:31):
so I can tick that box andhopefully never have to revisit
that one again.
Um, so there's some huge thingscoming with the podcast, let me
tell you.
Like, for example, um I'm gonnado some episodes on this because
this is very um important, thisis very significant.
Uh, but the Disregulated Podcastis now on YouTube.
(06:52):
That's the first littleannouncement to make.
It's not a little announcement,it's a huge announcement.
But the biggest announcement ofall is that there's a new
segment coming which involves meand it involves video, and it
involves uh even more of a, Iguess, um, intensive, raw,
honest, genuine, and fed incomelook at what it's like living
(07:16):
with multiple complex mentalillnesses.
This new segment, this dailysegment, this daily check-in is
going to revolutionize thedysregulated podcast.
It's gonna revolutionize me andmy life.
And hopefully it might do, Idon't know if it's gonna
revolutionize, that's a veryhard word to say, revolutionize
(07:36):
your life, but it's certainly, Ithink, gonna offer insights into
the world of mental illness thatjust have not been, I guess,
broadcasted in this raw,genuine, open, and fair-income
way.
And I'm very, very excitedbecause we know that I've made
this commitment to you that thispodcast is the most um revealing
(08:00):
and insightful look at mentalillness that there is.
I've made that commitment to youmany, many times, and I am
committed to that.
And this is the next, I guess,evolution in the podcast in my
offering to you, and hopefully,it will go a long, long way
into, well, at least for thepeople that listen to the show
(08:23):
and that are in the orbit ofthis show.
I'm really hoping that it'sgonna offer some insights that
is gonna continue to break downthat stigma, be very
enlightening for people, improvemental health literacy, and
hopefully get some of thoseconversations started because I
am about to reveal everythingand I'm gonna reveal it every
(08:43):
day.
And there's gonna be no secretshere.
As we know, I'm an open book andI'm so excited because, as I
said, I think this is gonna be ahuge, huge step forward and a
real consolidation of thatcommitment that I make to you
every episode that I do, eventhough the episodes have been
(09:03):
difficult to get out lately.
So, anyway, that'll do for me.
Hopefully, this recording works.
I'm using a new app on my newiPhone 17 Pro.
Yes, don't worry, I haven't wonthe lottery or anything.
This phone is costing me anabsolute fortune.
But the reason is because of theamazing video quality and this
new segment that I was justtalking about.
(09:25):
So I'm very excited.
I really hope this recording hasworked because this one is sort
of okay.
And I'm it's gonna, thisrecording I think is gonna pass
the test just.
So if you're listening to this,things are gone well.
I'm okay.
Elliot's actually going prettygood.
I'm just so incrediblyfrustrated that for some reason
(09:45):
there's this bottleneck, um,this metaphorical bottleneck, I
suppose.
Um, and I just am not able toget the content out at the
moment like I'd like to.
But I'll tell you, once it allturns around, which it will
soon, once I find the switch andeverything is in full throttle
mode, watch out becauseeverything is about to go to the
(10:08):
next level, and I'm so bloodyexcited to reveal it to you all
as soon as I can get the wordsout.
All right, I better end it nowbecause I have a feeling I'm
about to stumble over a sentenceand then I'm gonna delete this
whole recording, which I really,really don't want to do.
Hopefully, this has worked.
Let's see if I've got thetechnology uh down pat.
(10:29):
I've got no idea, but we'll see.
All right, thank you everybodyfor listening.
As always, I do appreciate it.
If you're enjoying the show,feel free to like, subscribe,
give the show a great rating.
And of course, you can now watchand listen, or not watch just
yet, but you can definitelylisten to the dysregulated
podcast on YouTube.
So if any of your mates havebeen wanting to listen to the
(10:50):
show, but they don't use Spotifyor Apple Podcasts, tell them
YouTube is a go.
Just search the DisregulatedPodcast and you will find me and
the show and all the amazingmaterial, all 220, I don't know,
it's like 226 episodes.
They've all been uploaded, readyto go.
All right, thank you everybody.
(11:11):
Have a good one.
I can't believe that thisepisode is finally done.
Thank goodness.
This sunrise, by the way, isbeautiful.
Newcastle is God's country.
That's enough from me.
I'll talk to you later.
See ya.
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