November 7, 2025 • 37 mins
Good days don’t last forever which is why they need to be used wisely. In this episode, I talk about using the times when mood, energy and motivation finally line up to take full advantage by being action-orientated and not just sitting back relaxing. How it's important to prepare for the eventual drop that's coming. Because it's true that as humans we have to endure both the good and the bad days.
When my mood is elevated, I find even the most mundane of tasks bearable. Having the motivation and inspiration to clean my room, send the resume, apply for the job, book the appointment, set things in motion. Because when the clouds roll back in, it’s a lot easier to cope if you’ve already taken steps forward. Progress makes the darkness less heavy. Stagnation makes it brutal.
This episode is about momentum, not perfection. Action over comfort. Not letting the good days go to waste, so when the tough ones come, the work has been done to ensure the rewards are coming. And then the sun comes back again and sticks around for a bit longer than before.
--
Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.
This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:10):
G'day everybody, my name is Elliot Waters, and
you're listening to the DISregulated podcast.
As always, thank you for tuningin.
Alright, today's episode, I wantto spend a little bit of time
just discussing the importanceof getting things done when
things are going good.
So capitalizing on momentum andgetting things done when
(00:32):
everything feels as though it'sfalling into place.
And how it's very important forme at least, but I think this
would be the case for a lot ofpeople, it's very important not
to think everything's just goinghunky-dory and I don't have to
do any of the hard work and youknow, because everything's
sweet.
This is it, I'm content, happydays.
(00:54):
That's a trap that I've falleninto many times previously, and
it's important that I don't dothat again.
Because at the moment, I willsay the last two weeks, the last
fortnight, uh, have been quitegood.
And the reason it's been quitegood is because I won the award
from the university, the YoungAlumni of the Year Award.
(01:17):
That was two weeks ago today,actually.
Um, and geez, that's gone quick.
Um but since I got that award,as you can imagine, I've been
feeling pretty good, you know,like it's recognition for a lot
of the hard work and thesacrifices I've put in, and it
adds more meaning to myexperiences, the good and the
(01:39):
bad.
So, um, and there's more I'mgonna talk about the award um in
a subsequent episode because Ithink it has a lot of
significance for me personally,but I also think it has a lot of
significance more broadly abouthow lived experience is being
valued now, whereas maybe itwasn't before.
(02:02):
So I'm gonna do an episode aboutthat because it is important,
this shift that I feel has beengoing on, um, where lived
experience is being valued asmuch as dollar signs.
And I think that's so important,and I think me winning the award
um relates to that quite nicely.
(02:22):
So, but anyway, that's inanother episode.
I'll be down the track.
Uh, but first I want to talkabout why it's important for me
at least to take advantage ofthings when things are going
good.
Now, before I do though, I'vegot a little disclaimer to make,
and that is today, today I'vehad, I reckon, the worst dry
mouth I've ever had.
(02:44):
Unbelievable.
It didn't matter what I did, itjust was not working for me.
Um, so if I do stumble on wordsand stuff here on this episode,
uh, that will be why.
Um, you're probably thinking, uhhell yeah, yeah, you always
bring out your dry mouth, yeah.
And you'd be right, I do bringit up a lot, but it is important
(03:05):
because it does have, you know,it it's it has consequences for
my voice and my message that I'mtrying to speak and convey.
Um but the reason I'm bringingit up now is because it was so
bad today, which is a bit of aconcern.
Um, I'm assuming, and I'm prettysure it's a medication or a
combination of medicationsthat's causing this.
(03:27):
And there's quite a few um thathave dry mouth as a potential
side effect, and as we know, I'mon a lot of medications, so the
chances are pretty high that umthis is gonna happen.
It's no surprise that this is aa side effect I'm getting, but I
do need to figure out why itseems to be getting worse and
how I can um how I can reversethat and be able to overcome
(03:52):
that little challenge becauseyou know this is dry mouth
that's occurring just during theday, just you know, when I'm at
work or whatever.
Um, this isn't even related toany any nerves or anxiety where
I get, and a lot of people do,get dry mouth as a result of.
Like, for example, I'm thinkingabout my presentations I do for
(04:13):
the Black Dog Institute.
Um, because when I present forBlack Dog, I get very, very
nervous and very anxious,whether it's an online webinar
where I can't see the audience,or whether it's at a school
setting and there's a thousandkids in front of me, um, it
doesn't matter.
I freak out and get very, veryanxious.
(04:33):
And you know, I have panicattacks leading up to the
presentation, to the speech.
And as a result, when I do starttalking, I've said this before
on the show that I'll frequentlydisassociate for the first five
minutes, um, and then I'll comeback to reality and I'll just be
yapping away.
And I always think to myself, Idon't know what I just said in
(04:54):
that first five minutes, buthopefully it makes sense.
No one's throwing anything atme, so it must have gone over
okay.
Um, but my dry mouth is so muchworse now than it used to be.
It's a concern when you know Ireally use my voice a lot to try
and get the things done in lifethat I want to get done.
(05:15):
So, public speaking, although itit I'm petrified by it and
terrified by it, public speakingis very, very important to what
I do.
And at the best of times, drymouth is a concern.
But if I'm getting such severedry mouth as I am at the moment,
um that does not bode well forfuture presentations.
(05:35):
So the reason I'm bringing it upnow though, because this opisage
is not really meant to be aboutdry mouth, um, but it is to just
let you know that if it isn't asclear, maybe, or I'm stumbling
over a few words, or it soundslike I'm really struggling to,
you know, get the words out, uh,that is why.
So um that's another trick thatI do with my uh presentations,
(05:59):
um, in in particular with a liveaudience, I'll say, you know,
I'll ask the crowd if anyonelikes public speaking, and you
know, usually the hands staydown, unless you're at a school
setting, and there's always oneor two boys mainly at the back
of the group that always puttheir hands up.
Happens everywhere, it doesn'tmatter where I've gone, what
school, it's the same thing.
(06:21):
And they'll put their hand upand go, I love public speaking,
and I'll say, Well, it's verylucky for you guys, it's a great
skill to have.
You should really focus on that,whatever.
The point is, when I tell peoplethat I don't like public
speaking, because I say my handis down for a reason because I
can't stand it.
Um, the reason I do that is fortwo reasons.
(06:42):
One is to um, I guess, show thatyou can do just about anything
if you really put your mind toit, and I'm proof of that.
You know, I've got all theanxiety disorders and the
autism, and and yet I'm stillable to get up there and speak.
So I'd like to think that theexample that I'm setting is a
good one.
Um, so I want to get that sortof idea across.
(07:04):
Uh, but also the other reason,and to be honest, this is
probably the main reason, is soI take a bit of pressure off
because like I'm doing now withthe dry mouth, I say, you know,
I don't like public speaking,and it terrifies me, but I'm
gonna push through anywaybecause this is something I find
important, meaning and purpose,that sort of stuff.
But to me, or for me, um, itjust dials down um a bit of the
(07:29):
nerves and the inner criticthat's ready to go because I've
come out and been open with it.
You know what I mean?
So I've said my piece, and if itall goes wrong, it's like, well,
I warned them, you know, I Itold them this could happen.
So yeah, so it's a way to lowermy nerves, and I'm doing a
(07:49):
similar thing here, which is totell you guys about this dry
mouth thing, so it takes a bitof pressure off because we know
lately I've been having a lot ofdifficulties actually getting
episodes published, and it ain'tbeen through lack of trying.
So I need to take as much stressor or anxiety around this or or
(08:12):
lower the expectations I have asmuch as possible and make things
a bit easier for myself so I amactually able to complete an
episode without um being crushedby my own expectations and this
feeling I'm not good enough andnot doing a good enough job.
Okay, as I said, today's episodeis not about dry mouth, and it's
also not about my black dogpresentations, although it's all
(08:35):
important stuff.
It is all about how I need totake advantage of things when
things are going good.
So, like I said, the YoungAlumni of the Year award was a
fortnight ago, and ever sincethen I've had a bit of a spring
in my step, you know, becauseI've got that validation, and
you know, I know that thesacrifices and the suffering
(08:57):
that I've gone through hasmeaning and it is actually uh
being celebrated, I suppose.
And and my expertise in livedexperience has been um, yeah,
it's been, I guess, showcasedand it's exciting stuff.
And it, you know, I feel good,of course you do, yeah.
(09:18):
Win an award, that's that's lotsof dopamine flowing.
The dopamine's been real high,saying, yeah, man, we're going
all right, you know, let's keepdoing this.
And that's what I think isimportant and is important that
I try and do, which is to tryand keep this going for as long
as I can.
Now, we know as human beings,unfortunately, you know, the bad
(09:40):
times are going to be coming.
You can't be happy and on top ofthe world 24-7.
It's not possible.
Unfortunately, that's aninherent part of being a human.
And trust me, I have done a lotof research trying to figure out
how to just have good timesconstantly, but I haven't come
up with an answer yet.
So until I do, the reality isthat we've got to accept is that
(10:03):
unfortunately there's going tobe some lower moments as well.
And for someone, this is thereal important part when it
comes to this idea and mentalillness.
Um, and this goes for just aboutall the mental illnesses, which
is unfortunately for people whohave a living experience of
(10:24):
mental ill health, we know thatthe bad times, or at least it
feels this way, the bad timesseem to outweigh the good.
Um, and I would definitely saythat's the case in my world, um,
my perception of things, whichis, I don't know, like for every
two days I have good, I'll havefive that are challenging, that
(10:45):
sort of thing.
So I know the bad-ish times arecoming.
And I also know that when theyare bad enough, um, and this
isn't once every blue moon,unfortunately, you've listened
to the show.
Well, if you've listened to theshow consistently, you would
know that these fluctuations inmood is nothing uncommon for me.
And the problem, the biggestproblem I have is the fact that
(11:08):
I tend to stay in those lowmoods longer, um, a lot longer
than I'm in the positive.
And that's what happens withmental ill health.
You know, that's all part of thedeal, unfortunately.
We have more bad times thangood, or at least the bad times
are more intense than theyshould be, and it outweighs the
good.
And I know, and this issomething that a lot of people
(11:30):
will, you know, be nodding yourheads at and saying, Yep, yep,
I'm the same.
I know that when I'm not in agood mood and things are not
going very well, or theperception of things is that
it's not going very well, it'svery hard to do anything, you
know, beyond the basics.
Even the basics are hard.
Um, you know, that themotivation's not there, lacking
(11:51):
inspiration.
Instead of having all thisenergy and walking tall, you
know, you're slumped over andthere's not much energy going
on, you're dragging your feet,that sort of stuff.
So I know what I'm like when I'min the lower moods, and I can't
get much done other than thereal bare basics.
So instead of just I guess beingcontent with the good times,
(12:16):
I've got to be working throughthe good times.
I've got to keep working, keepworking and strike while the
iron's hot, that sort of thing.
Because I know the bad times arecoming, and unfortunately,
because I have mental illnesses,mental illnesses, mental ill
health, um, those bad times are,you know, significant enough
that they're clinicallyrelevant.
(12:37):
And what that means is thatthere's significant impairment
in function.
So the motivation's gone, theinspiration's gone, the positive
outlook is gone.
Um, so I just feel as though inthese moments I'm just stuck,
and like I said, I can justabout barely get the basics
done.
And it's true, you know, thatthese low moments is when even
(13:00):
showering becomes difficult orremembering to brush my teeth
and and actually eat and youknow, tape my meds properly, and
although that's not a hugeproblem anymore, but it used to
be.
Um, those negative low moods arenot good, and they can set me
back if I haven't prepared forthem adequately.
And the way to prepare for themis to take advantage of the good
(13:24):
times and really get things doneand set myself up.
So, and that's the problem likewith mental illness is that the
low times are more frequent, uhlonger in duration, and are more
severe, and it's really hard.
But what makes those low moodsand episodes even worse is if
(13:48):
during the good last week I justhad, I didn't actually get
anything done because I thoughteverything was all sweet and I
was content and I just relaxed,and now I'm really, you know, up
the creek without a paddlebecause silly me forgot that you
know I need to prepare for theeventual swing down towards the
negative again.
I need to prepare for that.
(14:09):
So let's make sure all thebasics are all good.
You know, the washing's beendone, um meal prepping's done,
although I don't really do that,but I should.
Uh the you know, medications,I've got plenty of them, enough
of them.
Um, I can do all that sort ofstuff.
Food's bought, I mentioned food,anyway, whatever.
You know what I mean?
The washing, I think I said thewashing, but clean the car,
(14:32):
clean the room, all that stuff.
And it's similar with thispodcast too.
I've got to take advantage ofwell, well, actually that that
reminds me of a perfect example.
If you've been listening to theshow long enough, you'd know
that um, as well as talkingabout dry mouth all the time, I
also talk a lot about this ideaof overlaying a chart of the
(14:57):
podcast episode output with mymood.
So when things are going good,I'm sure some of you are going
to, oh yeah, yeah, he says thisall the time.
When things are going good, umthankfully I tend to get more
episodes out.
And when things are not going sowell, it's really, really
difficult.
So on the podcast front, I ampretty good with this, which is
(15:20):
taking advantage when I'm in themood to record.
You know, if I'm in the mood, Ish I I really make a strong
effort to try and take advantageright there, right then, or at
least as close to thisrealization as possible.
Um, because when I'm not feelingparticularly good, that's when
(15:40):
my inner critics and impostersyndrome and those other parts
of me tend to try and well, notnot all the parts, but the inner
critic, let's say, is able toget louder because I'm not
blocking, you know, I'm notsoundproofing my walls to drown
out my inner critic because Ican't be bothered because I am
(16:03):
not feeling good at all.
So the inner critic just doesits thing and I've got no oomph,
no inspirational motivation topush back.
I very much have to succumbbecause the lack of positive
emotion.
So, yes, so in the podcastworld, I try and do the episodes
(16:23):
as much as I can when things aregoing good, and I've got to make
sure I continue that way ofthinking and that pattern across
all the different, I guess,domains of my life, knowing full
well that the negative times arecoming.
I think that's a real stronglesson for everybody, like you
know, ups and downs, apart beinghuman, no one gets away with it.
(16:45):
I've never met anybody that isjust happy 24-7, it just doesn't
happen.
So it's important, I think, forall of us to when we do have the
energy, even if it's just welook at one variable, lots of
energy, you know, get active andget things done because it
doesn't always last, and thenunfortunately, what goes up must
(17:07):
come down again as well.
So, so it's very important forme to take advantage of that.
So, what that means is that inlike basically when I say taking
advantage since the award, whatI'm really saying is I need to
be getting my resume out thereand and really being serious
about looking for a job that'sum either in the transport field
(17:29):
or the mental health space.
And the thing is, I haven't beendoing that.
I've I've tweaked my resume alittle bit, I've you know, I've
done a bit of work, but I wasthinking today, I was like, hang
on, have I actually applied foranything?
And the answer was no.
I've been able to look at jobsbecause I'm in the good mood,
(17:51):
I'm able to look at jobs and seethe positives.
So ordinarily, when I look at,say, a job role that could suit
me, ordinarily, as far as I'maware, other people, you know,
read the job description andwhat money's being offered, and
you know, get a bit excitedbecause you can imagine yourself
in this new job and things aregoing well and you're really
(18:13):
committed to the cause andmoney's good and you can afford
things.
That's what people I think, Ithink this is what people think,
ordinarily, when for example,you're dreaming about a new job.
Whereas me, on the other hand,my default setting is that if I
see a job that I would really,really like, there's sort of
there's two things that I tendto think of, um, and they're
(18:37):
very dominant.
And sometimes I can't thinkanything but these two things.
And one is that I'm not gonnaget picked for the job anyway,
it's just gonna be yet anotherdisappointment, and like that's
gonna cause me to be sodepressed.
And in my mind, I can alreadysee the rejection.
This is rejection sensitivity,um, very common with ADHD and
(18:59):
borderline personality disorder,where you imagine in your mind's
eye looking down the track andyou're just getting rejected
anyway.
So, you know, the the idea orthe feeling then as a
consequence is what's the pointof even trying?
I'm just gonna get turned outanyway, you know.
Oh well, you know, why is me?
(19:19):
And that's then leads intosomething called learned
helplessness, which is this ideathat um you don't take the
opportunities that can presentthemselves, but then still feel
as though nothing's going rightand you're never got a chance
to, you know, improve youremployment, even though there's
(19:40):
been opportunities, but you'veturned them down.
So that's another thing that Ifall into the trap of.
So there's this rejectionsensitivity where I just can see
it in my mind's I'm gettingrejected, you know, got that
email that says thanks, but nothanks.
So what's the point of evendoing anything about it?
Because it feels so real, youknow.
(20:01):
That's the thing.
It's not just I'm imagining therejection, like I'm feeling the
rejection.
I feel it, the disappointment inmy stomach, you know, it feels
terrible, and nothing's evenhappened.
You know, nothing's happening.
I'm just imagining what couldhappen if I apply, and I just
(20:21):
think of the negative, and thenI feel the negative too.
It's one thing to just bethinking this stuff, but to
actually physically feel thedisappointment, like you know,
that's why this is all mentalillness, you know, this isn't
normal.
The extreme way that I andothers who have got similar um,
(20:43):
you know, mental ill health likeI do, unfortunately, we see the
rejection more frequently, justabout all the time.
And not only do we see thenegative, we feel it as well.
Whereas other people, as far asI'm aware, um imagine and can
see the positives and then areable to dream about if I got
(21:04):
that new job, well, this mighthappen, then I can do this and
this.
Whereas I don't feel that way,unless I'm in this really good
frame of mind, like I am now atthe moment.
But the other thing that I feelwith the whole jobs thing is not
only do I have that rejectionsensitivity, but then I see
(21:26):
myself getting sacked and doingsomething wrong and making a
huge mistake.
So this is the anxiety componentkicking in the gear.
So the bit I was talking aboutbefore, the rejection
sensitivity, that in itself is aconcept on its own.
But that to me, in the way Ithink of things, is linked with
(21:47):
more the depression side ofthings.
But this other component thatI'm talking about right now, the
imagining um getting fired anddoing something wrong, making a
huge mistake, that's really tiedup with the anxiety.
So if you've got both depressionand anxiety or or depressive and
anxious tendencies, uh, ifyou've got both of them at the
(22:10):
same time, you can feel both ofthese feelings at the same time
too.
So on one hand, I'm gettingrejected, don't have a chance of
having it anyway.
What's the point of trying?
And then, you know, when I doimagine myself somehow being in
the job, well, I'm gonna getsacked anyway because you know
it's in transport again, I'vedropped something on the
forklift or I've crashed orsomething.
(22:32):
So, you know, again, why even umput yourself through that?
And then I think, ah, well, I Iwon't worry too much about, you
know, trying to get this new jobbecause it's not gonna end well.
So that's that negative,maladaptive way of thinking
because that what I've justdescribed there is, you know,
these are protective safetymechanisms that our minds have,
(22:56):
our brains, our psyches have totry and protect us from bad
things happening, right?
So this is my fear, the anxietypart is, you know, my amygdala,
the anxious sort ofneurocircuitry, as we know for
me, is dialed up way too high,way too high.
(23:17):
Um, but me imagining thingsgoing wrong, uh that forces me
to pivot away from thatpotential scenario.
So technically, you know, myanxiety is protecting me from
what I'm seeing could happendown the track by making sure I
go nowhere near that situation.
But what that means is I gonowhere near that job.
(23:40):
Um, so that is a problem.
And then the depressive side ofthings is also a bit of a safety
mechanism to avoid thedisappointment of being rejected
and the you know, the depressedfeeling that that can cause and
the negative emotion.
So again, it's a case of myneurocircuitry certain pathways
(24:03):
just being dolled up way toohigh, way too high.
And the result is I don't get toachieve anything like a new job,
a new career, earn more money,do something in the field that
I'd really like to do, or youknow, use my degree that I'm
sort of using, but not enough.
Uh, I stay stranded in mycurrent circumstances, which are
(24:26):
not particularly good.
I complain about having no moneyall the time and not doing the
work that I'd maybe prefer to bedoing, and how difficult that's
been, and how that makes myanxiety worse.
And so I need to find a way tobreak free of the negative
thinking so I can put myselfforward and really try and grab
(24:49):
a hold of an opportunity, makethe most of it, and then you
know, pivot my life back towardsthe positive.
So, to tie up this whole spielwith what I was talking about
when it comes to takingadvantage of the good times, is
that in these good times thatare so rare and fleeting for me,
but this has been a particularlygood one, thanks to the
(25:11):
significant award that I won.
Um that it's during these timesthat I can actually think of
myself getting the job and notbeing rejected.
And I can imagine myself beingreally good at my work and and
having this great amount offulfillment in what I'm doing
and and this motivation tocontinue and do even better, and
(25:32):
I'm doing a great job.
How awesome's this?
So I'm able to think of the goodside of things, but I'm only
able to do so when my world isgoing particularly good.
So when it is going particularlygood and I can imagine these
good things, let's get theresumes out there.
Now's the time to strike becauseI'm freed of my negativity for a
(25:58):
uh limited time.
So let's take advantage of this,get the resumes out there, and
go into these interviews if I'mlucky enough to get them with
this confidence and the momentumthat is behind me.
Let's take advantage, let's getsome wins on the board, because
then that will cause more ofthese positive um ways of
(26:21):
thinking and and you know,mindset.
So it sort of becomes a rewardcircuit that then rewards
itself.
So the positive positivityallows me to then apply for jobs
and believe that I can do a goodjob and not have that imposter
syndrome dragging me down andbeing able to nullify the inner
(26:42):
critic, then that can lead to anew position that I really
wanted and I got the job that Iwanted.
How amazing is that?
Which equals more good times.
So the more good times, let'stake advantage of that again.
Let's now, I don't know, youknow, a plethora of things that
I would like to pursue thatmaybe I can only do so with my
(27:03):
full ability when things aregoing well.
Pick out something else.
So I don't know, relationships.
There we go, dating.
Yeah, perfect, perfect example.
The other important thing in myworld that's not really going
anywhere.
Um, so good times, get back intothe dating scene, actually
imagine that the date could gowell, and actually imagine not
(27:25):
too much, you don't want to goover the top with these things,
but imagine that the date goeswell and and you meet someone
that's pretty cool and you seemto get along, you know.
Actually believe that that's apossibility and then go after
it.
Go after it, make that areality.
Um, but I gotta do these thingswhen things are going well,
(27:48):
because when everything'sfalling apart, there is no way
I'm gonna put myself out to goon dates again.
No chance.
There is no way I'm going toback myself in a job interview
for a position that's, you know,quite um has a lot of
responsibility and stuff.
There's no way I'm gonna pursuethose things when I'm feeling
(28:09):
like absolute garbage.
And as we know, more often thannot, unfortunately, I feel like
absolute garbage.
So that's the point that I'mtrying to get across, especially
for people who think a bit likeme.
For you guys that are listeningand going, yeah, that's the
same, that's what I feel.
He's doing it again, he's sayinghow I feel again, what's going
(28:30):
on?
Um, what's going on is that, youknow, this mental ill health
phenomena that I talk about isnot uncommon.
Um, believe it or not, there'sactually a lot of us that go
through this sort of stuff, andit's very, very, very difficult,
very challenging.
But there are ways around it.
And for me, I think one of thebiggest ways I can overcome that
(28:52):
negative inaction is to takeadvantage when I've got that
good feeling behind me andmaking it happen.
And like I said, good feeling,go out on a limb, get a good
result, more good feelings, thendo it again, but for a different
domain.
So career into dating, and thenwho knows what else.
(29:13):
Um, so there, so that's thestory.
So, but again, this is importantfor anybody.
Everybody has good days,everyone has bad days, as we
know.
It doesn't matter.
That's part of being a humanoid.
Um, I think it is important forall of us to take advantage when
we can.
And I just want to finish off,too, with what you shouldn't do
(29:34):
during the good times, and thatis, and I alluded to it earlier,
and I'll just talk a little biton it just as we finish here.
Um the thing that is importantto avoid falling into the trap
of when things are going well isto think that, oh, well, things
are going well, you know, I canput my feet up and relax a bit.
You know, every I'm content withthe world.
(29:56):
How good's this?
I'm gonna take a bit of time torelax.
Now, some people would advocateand argue that that's exactly
what you should do.
And, you know, that's fine.
Um people, some people andprofess mental health
professionals would say thatwhen things are going well, that
you should be, you know,practice gratitude and just take
(30:17):
it all in and sort of.
But for me, I need to beaction-oriented.
I need to be doing something andbuilding towards something and
working towards something, orelse the dopamine that's firing
me along with this momentum, andthat's what it is, the momentum
is lots of dopamine firingorganically as well, not from
(30:39):
medications, from actual thingshappening in my environment,
like being given an award.
Um, but for me, my my way ofthinking, my view on this is
that yeah, during the goodtimes, that's when you work even
harder because that's the timeto capitalize.
And I I think sitting back andjust you know, taking it all in,
you know, maybe do that for alittle bit, but if you do that
(31:02):
the whole time for the say thefull two-week period and then
going into a two-week period ofof negative mood states, um, I
do think the negative stuff getsamplified by the inaction that
you've taken or we've taken,I've taken during the positive
(31:23):
moments, the two good weeks.
I think, because then in thenegative frame of thinking,
instead of looking at, you know,relaxing and taking it all in
and that being really good foroneself, you know, like if when
you're feeling negative aboutyourself, then that's quite
easily negative arguments canstart about no, you weren't
(31:46):
relaxing and just being contentand taking it all in.
What you were doing was beinglazy, and now you've dropped the
ball, you've missed your chance,and you're screwed, and you're
gonna live like this forever.
That's what happens to me when Iknow I haven't done enough when
I was in a position to do stuff.
(32:06):
I start feeling really guiltyand really depressed and
defeated, and it's not a goodfeeling.
And as far as I know, for myselfat least, the only way I can
avoid the severity of that sortof thinking is to make sure that
I work hard when I'm able to doso.
(32:29):
Because then when I slip intothat negative sort of zone, two,
three, four weeks, whatever itis, um, I can at least know that
I achieved X, Y, and Z duringthe last week, two weeks.
And that is a bit of comfortwhen things are not going
particularly well.
And sometimes too, justreminding oneself of the wins
(32:53):
that have been achieved andaccomplished during the good
times.
Um, just reminding yourself ofthat and be like, oh yeah, we
did we did some good stuff, andthen what it that in itself can
be a good way to get a bit oftraction and a foothold to gain
back towards a happier outlook.
Um, but also it's good if you ifthe work's done, because then
(33:17):
hopefully, theoretically, therewards and the outcome and the
consequences of the hardpositive work, uh, those
outcomes will f you know come tofruition at some point.
It might not be immediate, butthey're gonna come eventually,
because you know, the harder youwork, the luckier you seem to
(33:40):
be.
All of a sudden, I'm I'm prettydepressed this week, but hey, I
got a call back for that jobinterview though, and they were
really happy.
Thank goodness I applied forthat job last week when I was
feeling good because you know,now that this has happened, that
I feel good again, you know.
All of a sudden I'm back intothe positive again.
How good's this?
(34:00):
And that is good, and it's greatbecause it is positive feelings
and emotions and thoughts thatare organic.
They're coming from a realenvironmental, personal, um
point of, you know, point ofwhere it's coming.
I've lost my way, what was Isaying?
(34:20):
Um, it's an organic positiveframe of mind because you know
that you did the hard work, andit's because of the hard work
that this is now happening.
And that's a great feelingbecause it's like, yeah, I'm in
charge of my own destiny.
I have agency, I am empowered,and I have the control and the
(34:40):
ability to dictate terms andmake my life one that is well
and truly worth living.
Whereas if you don't take thesteps, then you leave yourself
open for big trouble, or atleast that's what happens for
me.
So there you go.
That's my story.
That actually is a lot longerthan I was thinking.
(35:02):
I hope that makes sense.
I feel like I might haverepeated a few sort of concepts
and maybe gone over it a bitover and over again.
And I'll be completely honestwith you, my inner critic is
just firing big time right now.
Big time.
You know, that little stumbleover words just I don't know,
probably a minute ago, I justhad a little fumble.
(35:23):
Um, I was very close, seriously,very close in that moment to
press stop and then pressdelete.
And I've had to reallyconsciously stop myself from
doing that because that would be35 minutes of gold, of absolute
amazing material loss forever.
(35:44):
And seeing as though it is 20 to2 in the morning right now, and
I have work at 7 a.m., uh, it'spretty important maybe that I
continue to save and publishthis episode because there is
definitely not enough time to doit again.
(36:05):
So it's got to be this one.
But I think overall it wentokay.
I think I got the point across,and I'm not going to repeat the
point, don't worry, but I willsay my dry mouth seemed to have
improved a little bit as thetalking went on.
So that's good.
So maybe that's the key.
Elliot needs to do more talking,which would be to the dismay of
(36:27):
everyone around me.
But you know, whatever.
That's fine.
All good.
Happy days.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you for listening.
If you're enjoying the show,feel free to like, subscribe,
give the show a great rating,and you can share it around with
your mates, and you can followme on Instagram at
elliott.t.waters, and you canfollow the show on Facebook at
(36:47):
the Disregulated Podcast.
All right, pretty happy to getthat one done.
I'll talk to you soon.
Have a good week.
Goodbye.
G'day everybody, my name is Elliot Waters, and
you're listening to the DISregulated podcast.
As always, thank you for tuningin.
Alright, today's episode, I wantto spend a little bit of time
just discussing the importanceof getting things done when
things are going good.
So capitalizing on momentum andgetting things done when
(00:32):
everything feels as though it'sfalling into place.
And how it's very important forme at least, but I think this
would be the case for a lot ofpeople, it's very important not
to think everything's just goinghunky-dory and I don't have to
do any of the hard work and youknow, because everything's
sweet.
This is it, I'm content, happydays.
(00:54):
That's a trap that I've falleninto many times previously, and
it's important that I don't dothat again.
Because at the moment, I willsay the last two weeks, the last
fortnight, uh, have been quitegood.
And the reason it's been quitegood is because I won the award
from the university, the YoungAlumni of the Year Award.
(01:17):
That was two weeks ago today,actually.
Um, and geez, that's gone quick.
Um but since I got that award,as you can imagine, I've been
feeling pretty good, you know,like it's recognition for a lot
of the hard work and thesacrifices I've put in, and it
adds more meaning to myexperiences, the good and the
(01:39):
bad.
So, um, and there's more I'mgonna talk about the award um in
a subsequent episode because Ithink it has a lot of
significance for me personally,but I also think it has a lot of
significance more broadly abouthow lived experience is being
valued now, whereas maybe itwasn't before.
(02:02):
So I'm gonna do an episode aboutthat because it is important,
this shift that I feel has beengoing on, um, where lived
experience is being valued asmuch as dollar signs.
And I think that's so important,and I think me winning the award
um relates to that quite nicely.
(02:22):
So, but anyway, that's inanother episode.
I'll be down the track.
Uh, but first I want to talkabout why it's important for me
at least to take advantage ofthings when things are going
good.
Now, before I do though, I'vegot a little disclaimer to make,
and that is today, today I'vehad, I reckon, the worst dry
mouth I've ever had.
(02:44):
Unbelievable.
It didn't matter what I did, itjust was not working for me.
Um, so if I do stumble on wordsand stuff here on this episode,
uh, that will be why.
Um, you're probably thinking, uhhell yeah, yeah, you always
bring out your dry mouth, yeah.
And you'd be right, I do bringit up a lot, but it is important
(03:05):
because it does have, you know,it it's it has consequences for
my voice and my message that I'mtrying to speak and convey.
Um but the reason I'm bringingit up now is because it was so
bad today, which is a bit of aconcern.
Um, I'm assuming, and I'm prettysure it's a medication or a
combination of medicationsthat's causing this.
(03:27):
And there's quite a few um thathave dry mouth as a potential
side effect, and as we know, I'mon a lot of medications, so the
chances are pretty high that umthis is gonna happen.
It's no surprise that this is aa side effect I'm getting, but I
do need to figure out why itseems to be getting worse and
how I can um how I can reversethat and be able to overcome
(03:52):
that little challenge becauseyou know this is dry mouth
that's occurring just during theday, just you know, when I'm at
work or whatever.
Um, this isn't even related toany any nerves or anxiety where
I get, and a lot of people do,get dry mouth as a result of.
Like, for example, I'm thinkingabout my presentations I do for
(04:13):
the Black Dog Institute.
Um, because when I present forBlack Dog, I get very, very
nervous and very anxious,whether it's an online webinar
where I can't see the audience,or whether it's at a school
setting and there's a thousandkids in front of me, um, it
doesn't matter.
I freak out and get very, veryanxious.
(04:33):
And you know, I have panicattacks leading up to the
presentation, to the speech.
And as a result, when I do starttalking, I've said this before
on the show that I'll frequentlydisassociate for the first five
minutes, um, and then I'll comeback to reality and I'll just be
yapping away.
And I always think to myself, Idon't know what I just said in
(04:54):
that first five minutes, buthopefully it makes sense.
No one's throwing anything atme, so it must have gone over
okay.
Um, but my dry mouth is so muchworse now than it used to be.
It's a concern when you know Ireally use my voice a lot to try
and get the things done in lifethat I want to get done.
(05:15):
So, public speaking, although itit I'm petrified by it and
terrified by it, public speakingis very, very important to what
I do.
And at the best of times, drymouth is a concern.
But if I'm getting such severedry mouth as I am at the moment,
um that does not bode well forfuture presentations.
(05:35):
So the reason I'm bringing it upnow though, because this opisage
is not really meant to be aboutdry mouth, um, but it is to just
let you know that if it isn't asclear, maybe, or I'm stumbling
over a few words, or it soundslike I'm really struggling to,
you know, get the words out, uh,that is why.
So um that's another trick thatI do with my uh presentations,
(05:59):
um, in in particular with a liveaudience, I'll say, you know,
I'll ask the crowd if anyonelikes public speaking, and you
know, usually the hands staydown, unless you're at a school
setting, and there's always oneor two boys mainly at the back
of the group that always puttheir hands up.
Happens everywhere, it doesn'tmatter where I've gone, what
school, it's the same thing.
(06:21):
And they'll put their hand upand go, I love public speaking,
and I'll say, Well, it's verylucky for you guys, it's a great
skill to have.
You should really focus on that,whatever.
The point is, when I tell peoplethat I don't like public
speaking, because I say my handis down for a reason because I
can't stand it.
Um, the reason I do that is fortwo reasons.
(06:42):
One is to um, I guess, show thatyou can do just about anything
if you really put your mind toit, and I'm proof of that.
You know, I've got all theanxiety disorders and the
autism, and and yet I'm stillable to get up there and speak.
So I'd like to think that theexample that I'm setting is a
good one.
Um, so I want to get that sortof idea across.
(07:04):
Uh, but also the other reason,and to be honest, this is
probably the main reason, is soI take a bit of pressure off
because like I'm doing now withthe dry mouth, I say, you know,
I don't like public speaking,and it terrifies me, but I'm
gonna push through anywaybecause this is something I find
important, meaning and purpose,that sort of stuff.
But to me, or for me, um, itjust dials down um a bit of the
(07:29):
nerves and the inner criticthat's ready to go because I've
come out and been open with it.
You know what I mean?
So I've said my piece, and if itall goes wrong, it's like, well,
I warned them, you know, I Itold them this could happen.
So yeah, so it's a way to lowermy nerves, and I'm doing a
(07:49):
similar thing here, which is totell you guys about this dry
mouth thing, so it takes a bitof pressure off because we know
lately I've been having a lot ofdifficulties actually getting
episodes published, and it ain'tbeen through lack of trying.
So I need to take as much stressor or anxiety around this or or
(08:12):
lower the expectations I have asmuch as possible and make things
a bit easier for myself so I amactually able to complete an
episode without um being crushedby my own expectations and this
feeling I'm not good enough andnot doing a good enough job.
Okay, as I said, today's episodeis not about dry mouth, and it's
also not about my black dogpresentations, although it's all
(08:35):
important stuff.
It is all about how I need totake advantage of things when
things are going good.
So, like I said, the YoungAlumni of the Year award was a
fortnight ago, and ever sincethen I've had a bit of a spring
in my step, you know, becauseI've got that validation, and
you know, I know that thesacrifices and the suffering
(08:57):
that I've gone through hasmeaning and it is actually uh
being celebrated, I suppose.
And and my expertise in livedexperience has been um, yeah,
it's been, I guess, showcasedand it's exciting stuff.
And it, you know, I feel good,of course you do, yeah.
(09:18):
Win an award, that's that's lotsof dopamine flowing.
The dopamine's been real high,saying, yeah, man, we're going
all right, you know, let's keepdoing this.
And that's what I think isimportant and is important that
I try and do, which is to tryand keep this going for as long
as I can.
Now, we know as human beings,unfortunately, you know, the bad
(09:40):
times are going to be coming.
You can't be happy and on top ofthe world 24-7.
It's not possible.
Unfortunately, that's aninherent part of being a human.
And trust me, I have done a lotof research trying to figure out
how to just have good timesconstantly, but I haven't come
up with an answer yet.
So until I do, the reality isthat we've got to accept is that
(10:03):
unfortunately there's going tobe some lower moments as well.
And for someone, this is thereal important part when it
comes to this idea and mentalillness.
Um, and this goes for just aboutall the mental illnesses, which
is unfortunately for people whohave a living experience of
(10:24):
mental ill health, we know thatthe bad times, or at least it
feels this way, the bad timesseem to outweigh the good.
Um, and I would definitely saythat's the case in my world, um,
my perception of things, whichis, I don't know, like for every
two days I have good, I'll havefive that are challenging, that
(10:45):
sort of thing.
So I know the bad-ish times arecoming.
And I also know that when theyare bad enough, um, and this
isn't once every blue moon,unfortunately, you've listened
to the show.
Well, if you've listened to theshow consistently, you would
know that these fluctuations inmood is nothing uncommon for me.
And the problem, the biggestproblem I have is the fact that
(11:08):
I tend to stay in those lowmoods longer, um, a lot longer
than I'm in the positive.
And that's what happens withmental ill health.
You know, that's all part of thedeal, unfortunately.
We have more bad times thangood, or at least the bad times
are more intense than theyshould be, and it outweighs the
good.
And I know, and this issomething that a lot of people
(11:30):
will, you know, be nodding yourheads at and saying, Yep, yep,
I'm the same.
I know that when I'm not in agood mood and things are not
going very well, or theperception of things is that
it's not going very well, it'svery hard to do anything, you
know, beyond the basics.
Even the basics are hard.
Um, you know, that themotivation's not there, lacking
(11:51):
inspiration.
Instead of having all thisenergy and walking tall, you
know, you're slumped over andthere's not much energy going
on, you're dragging your feet,that sort of stuff.
So I know what I'm like when I'min the lower moods, and I can't
get much done other than thereal bare basics.
So instead of just I guess beingcontent with the good times,
(12:16):
I've got to be working throughthe good times.
I've got to keep working, keepworking and strike while the
iron's hot, that sort of thing.
Because I know the bad times arecoming, and unfortunately,
because I have mental illnesses,mental illnesses, mental ill
health, um, those bad times are,you know, significant enough
that they're clinicallyrelevant.
(12:37):
And what that means is thatthere's significant impairment
in function.
So the motivation's gone, theinspiration's gone, the positive
outlook is gone.
Um, so I just feel as though inthese moments I'm just stuck,
and like I said, I can justabout barely get the basics
done.
And it's true, you know, thatthese low moments is when even
(13:00):
showering becomes difficult orremembering to brush my teeth
and and actually eat and youknow, tape my meds properly, and
although that's not a hugeproblem anymore, but it used to
be.
Um, those negative low moods arenot good, and they can set me
back if I haven't prepared forthem adequately.
And the way to prepare for themis to take advantage of the good
(13:24):
times and really get things doneand set myself up.
So, and that's the problem likewith mental illness is that the
low times are more frequent, uhlonger in duration, and are more
severe, and it's really hard.
But what makes those low moodsand episodes even worse is if
(13:48):
during the good last week I justhad, I didn't actually get
anything done because I thoughteverything was all sweet and I
was content and I just relaxed,and now I'm really, you know, up
the creek without a paddlebecause silly me forgot that you
know I need to prepare for theeventual swing down towards the
negative again.
I need to prepare for that.
(14:09):
So let's make sure all thebasics are all good.
You know, the washing's beendone, um meal prepping's done,
although I don't really do that,but I should.
Uh the you know, medications,I've got plenty of them, enough
of them.
Um, I can do all that sort ofstuff.
Food's bought, I mentioned food,anyway, whatever.
You know what I mean?
The washing, I think I said thewashing, but clean the car,
(14:32):
clean the room, all that stuff.
And it's similar with thispodcast too.
I've got to take advantage ofwell, well, actually that that
reminds me of a perfect example.
If you've been listening to theshow long enough, you'd know
that um, as well as talkingabout dry mouth all the time, I
also talk a lot about this ideaof overlaying a chart of the
(14:57):
podcast episode output with mymood.
So when things are going good,I'm sure some of you are going
to, oh yeah, yeah, he says thisall the time.
When things are going good, umthankfully I tend to get more
episodes out.
And when things are not going sowell, it's really, really
difficult.
So on the podcast front, I ampretty good with this, which is
(15:20):
taking advantage when I'm in themood to record.
You know, if I'm in the mood, Ish I I really make a strong
effort to try and take advantageright there, right then, or at
least as close to thisrealization as possible.
Um, because when I'm not feelingparticularly good, that's when
(15:40):
my inner critics and impostersyndrome and those other parts
of me tend to try and well, notnot all the parts, but the inner
critic, let's say, is able toget louder because I'm not
blocking, you know, I'm notsoundproofing my walls to drown
out my inner critic because Ican't be bothered because I am
(16:03):
not feeling good at all.
So the inner critic just doesits thing and I've got no oomph,
no inspirational motivation topush back.
I very much have to succumbbecause the lack of positive
emotion.
So, yes, so in the podcastworld, I try and do the episodes
(16:23):
as much as I can when things aregoing good, and I've got to make
sure I continue that way ofthinking and that pattern across
all the different, I guess,domains of my life, knowing full
well that the negative times arecoming.
I think that's a real stronglesson for everybody, like you
know, ups and downs, apart beinghuman, no one gets away with it.
(16:45):
I've never met anybody that isjust happy 24-7, it just doesn't
happen.
So it's important, I think, forall of us to when we do have the
energy, even if it's just welook at one variable, lots of
energy, you know, get active andget things done because it
doesn't always last, and thenunfortunately, what goes up must
(17:07):
come down again as well.
So, so it's very important forme to take advantage of that.
So, what that means is that inlike basically when I say taking
advantage since the award, whatI'm really saying is I need to
be getting my resume out thereand and really being serious
about looking for a job that'sum either in the transport field
(17:29):
or the mental health space.
And the thing is, I haven't beendoing that.
I've I've tweaked my resume alittle bit, I've you know, I've
done a bit of work, but I wasthinking today, I was like, hang
on, have I actually applied foranything?
And the answer was no.
I've been able to look at jobsbecause I'm in the good mood,
(17:51):
I'm able to look at jobs and seethe positives.
So ordinarily, when I look at,say, a job role that could suit
me, ordinarily, as far as I'maware, other people, you know,
read the job description andwhat money's being offered, and
you know, get a bit excitedbecause you can imagine yourself
in this new job and things aregoing well and you're really
(18:13):
committed to the cause andmoney's good and you can afford
things.
That's what people I think, Ithink this is what people think,
ordinarily, when for example,you're dreaming about a new job.
Whereas me, on the other hand,my default setting is that if I
see a job that I would really,really like, there's sort of
there's two things that I tendto think of, um, and they're
(18:37):
very dominant.
And sometimes I can't thinkanything but these two things.
And one is that I'm not gonnaget picked for the job anyway,
it's just gonna be yet anotherdisappointment, and like that's
gonna cause me to be sodepressed.
And in my mind, I can alreadysee the rejection.
This is rejection sensitivity,um, very common with ADHD and
(18:59):
borderline personality disorder,where you imagine in your mind's
eye looking down the track andyou're just getting rejected
anyway.
So, you know, the the idea orthe feeling then as a
consequence is what's the pointof even trying?
I'm just gonna get turned outanyway, you know.
Oh well, you know, why is me?
(19:19):
And that's then leads intosomething called learned
helplessness, which is this ideathat um you don't take the
opportunities that can presentthemselves, but then still feel
as though nothing's going rightand you're never got a chance
to, you know, improve youremployment, even though there's
(19:40):
been opportunities, but you'veturned them down.
So that's another thing that Ifall into the trap of.
So there's this rejectionsensitivity where I just can see
it in my mind's I'm gettingrejected, you know, got that
email that says thanks, but nothanks.
So what's the point of evendoing anything about it?
Because it feels so real, youknow.
(20:01):
That's the thing.
It's not just I'm imagining therejection, like I'm feeling the
rejection.
I feel it, the disappointment inmy stomach, you know, it feels
terrible, and nothing's evenhappened.
You know, nothing's happening.
I'm just imagining what couldhappen if I apply, and I just
(20:21):
think of the negative, and thenI feel the negative too.
It's one thing to just bethinking this stuff, but to
actually physically feel thedisappointment, like you know,
that's why this is all mentalillness, you know, this isn't
normal.
The extreme way that I andothers who have got similar um,
(20:43):
you know, mental ill health likeI do, unfortunately, we see the
rejection more frequently, justabout all the time.
And not only do we see thenegative, we feel it as well.
Whereas other people, as far asI'm aware, um imagine and can
see the positives and then areable to dream about if I got
(21:04):
that new job, well, this mighthappen, then I can do this and
this.
Whereas I don't feel that way,unless I'm in this really good
frame of mind, like I am now atthe moment.
But the other thing that I feelwith the whole jobs thing is not
only do I have that rejectionsensitivity, but then I see
(21:26):
myself getting sacked and doingsomething wrong and making a
huge mistake.
So this is the anxiety componentkicking in the gear.
So the bit I was talking aboutbefore, the rejection
sensitivity, that in itself is aconcept on its own.
But that to me, in the way Ithink of things, is linked with
(21:47):
more the depression side ofthings.
But this other component thatI'm talking about right now, the
imagining um getting fired anddoing something wrong, making a
huge mistake, that's really tiedup with the anxiety.
So if you've got both depressionand anxiety or or depressive and
anxious tendencies, uh, ifyou've got both of them at the
(22:10):
same time, you can feel both ofthese feelings at the same time
too.
So on one hand, I'm gettingrejected, don't have a chance of
having it anyway.
What's the point of trying?
And then, you know, when I doimagine myself somehow being in
the job, well, I'm gonna getsacked anyway because you know
it's in transport again, I'vedropped something on the
forklift or I've crashed orsomething.
(22:32):
So, you know, again, why even umput yourself through that?
And then I think, ah, well, I Iwon't worry too much about, you
know, trying to get this new jobbecause it's not gonna end well.
So that's that negative,maladaptive way of thinking
because that what I've justdescribed there is, you know,
these are protective safetymechanisms that our minds have,
(22:56):
our brains, our psyches have totry and protect us from bad
things happening, right?
So this is my fear, the anxietypart is, you know, my amygdala,
the anxious sort ofneurocircuitry, as we know for
me, is dialed up way too high,way too high.
(23:17):
Um, but me imagining thingsgoing wrong, uh that forces me
to pivot away from thatpotential scenario.
So technically, you know, myanxiety is protecting me from
what I'm seeing could happendown the track by making sure I
go nowhere near that situation.
But what that means is I gonowhere near that job.
(23:40):
Um, so that is a problem.
And then the depressive side ofthings is also a bit of a safety
mechanism to avoid thedisappointment of being rejected
and the you know, the depressedfeeling that that can cause and
the negative emotion.
So again, it's a case of myneurocircuitry certain pathways
(24:03):
just being dolled up way toohigh, way too high.
And the result is I don't get toachieve anything like a new job,
a new career, earn more money,do something in the field that
I'd really like to do, or youknow, use my degree that I'm
sort of using, but not enough.
Uh, I stay stranded in mycurrent circumstances, which are
(24:26):
not particularly good.
I complain about having no moneyall the time and not doing the
work that I'd maybe prefer to bedoing, and how difficult that's
been, and how that makes myanxiety worse.
And so I need to find a way tobreak free of the negative
thinking so I can put myselfforward and really try and grab
(24:49):
a hold of an opportunity, makethe most of it, and then you
know, pivot my life back towardsthe positive.
So, to tie up this whole spielwith what I was talking about
when it comes to takingadvantage of the good times, is
that in these good times thatare so rare and fleeting for me,
but this has been a particularlygood one, thanks to the
(25:11):
significant award that I won.
Um that it's during these timesthat I can actually think of
myself getting the job and notbeing rejected.
And I can imagine myself beingreally good at my work and and
having this great amount offulfillment in what I'm doing
and and this motivation tocontinue and do even better, and
(25:32):
I'm doing a great job.
How awesome's this?
So I'm able to think of the goodside of things, but I'm only
able to do so when my world isgoing particularly good.
So when it is going particularlygood and I can imagine these
good things, let's get theresumes out there.
Now's the time to strike becauseI'm freed of my negativity for a
(25:58):
uh limited time.
So let's take advantage of this,get the resumes out there, and
go into these interviews if I'mlucky enough to get them with
this confidence and the momentumthat is behind me.
Let's take advantage, let's getsome wins on the board, because
then that will cause more ofthese positive um ways of
(26:21):
thinking and and you know,mindset.
So it sort of becomes a rewardcircuit that then rewards
itself.
So the positive positivityallows me to then apply for jobs
and believe that I can do a goodjob and not have that imposter
syndrome dragging me down andbeing able to nullify the inner
(26:42):
critic, then that can lead to anew position that I really
wanted and I got the job that Iwanted.
How amazing is that?
Which equals more good times.
So the more good times, let'stake advantage of that again.
Let's now, I don't know, youknow, a plethora of things that
I would like to pursue thatmaybe I can only do so with my
(27:03):
full ability when things aregoing well.
Pick out something else.
So I don't know, relationships.
There we go, dating.
Yeah, perfect, perfect example.
The other important thing in myworld that's not really going
anywhere.
Um, so good times, get back intothe dating scene, actually
imagine that the date could gowell, and actually imagine not
(27:25):
too much, you don't want to goover the top with these things,
but imagine that the date goeswell and and you meet someone
that's pretty cool and you seemto get along, you know.
Actually believe that that's apossibility and then go after
it.
Go after it, make that areality.
Um, but I gotta do these thingswhen things are going well,
(27:48):
because when everything'sfalling apart, there is no way
I'm gonna put myself out to goon dates again.
No chance.
There is no way I'm going toback myself in a job interview
for a position that's, you know,quite um has a lot of
responsibility and stuff.
There's no way I'm gonna pursuethose things when I'm feeling
(28:09):
like absolute garbage.
And as we know, more often thannot, unfortunately, I feel like
absolute garbage.
So that's the point that I'mtrying to get across, especially
for people who think a bit likeme.
For you guys that are listeningand going, yeah, that's the
same, that's what I feel.
He's doing it again, he's sayinghow I feel again, what's going
(28:30):
on?
Um, what's going on is that, youknow, this mental ill health
phenomena that I talk about isnot uncommon.
Um, believe it or not, there'sactually a lot of us that go
through this sort of stuff, andit's very, very, very difficult,
very challenging.
But there are ways around it.
And for me, I think one of thebiggest ways I can overcome that
(28:52):
negative inaction is to takeadvantage when I've got that
good feeling behind me andmaking it happen.
And like I said, good feeling,go out on a limb, get a good
result, more good feelings, thendo it again, but for a different
domain.
So career into dating, and thenwho knows what else.
(29:13):
Um, so there, so that's thestory.
So, but again, this is importantfor anybody.
Everybody has good days,everyone has bad days, as we
know.
It doesn't matter.
That's part of being a humanoid.
Um, I think it is important forall of us to take advantage when
we can.
And I just want to finish off,too, with what you shouldn't do
(29:34):
during the good times, and thatis, and I alluded to it earlier,
and I'll just talk a little biton it just as we finish here.
Um the thing that is importantto avoid falling into the trap
of when things are going well isto think that, oh, well, things
are going well, you know, I canput my feet up and relax a bit.
You know, every I'm content withthe world.
(29:56):
How good's this?
I'm gonna take a bit of time torelax.
Now, some people would advocateand argue that that's exactly
what you should do.
And, you know, that's fine.
Um people, some people andprofess mental health
professionals would say thatwhen things are going well, that
you should be, you know,practice gratitude and just take
(30:17):
it all in and sort of.
But for me, I need to beaction-oriented.
I need to be doing something andbuilding towards something and
working towards something, orelse the dopamine that's firing
me along with this momentum, andthat's what it is, the momentum
is lots of dopamine firingorganically as well, not from
(30:39):
medications, from actual thingshappening in my environment,
like being given an award.
Um, but for me, my my way ofthinking, my view on this is
that yeah, during the goodtimes, that's when you work even
harder because that's the timeto capitalize.
And I I think sitting back andjust you know, taking it all in,
you know, maybe do that for alittle bit, but if you do that
(31:02):
the whole time for the say thefull two-week period and then
going into a two-week period ofof negative mood states, um, I
do think the negative stuff getsamplified by the inaction that
you've taken or we've taken,I've taken during the positive
(31:23):
moments, the two good weeks.
I think, because then in thenegative frame of thinking,
instead of looking at, you know,relaxing and taking it all in
and that being really good foroneself, you know, like if when
you're feeling negative aboutyourself, then that's quite
easily negative arguments canstart about no, you weren't
(31:46):
relaxing and just being contentand taking it all in.
What you were doing was beinglazy, and now you've dropped the
ball, you've missed your chance,and you're screwed, and you're
gonna live like this forever.
That's what happens to me when Iknow I haven't done enough when
I was in a position to do stuff.
(32:06):
I start feeling really guiltyand really depressed and
defeated, and it's not a goodfeeling.
And as far as I know, for myselfat least, the only way I can
avoid the severity of that sortof thinking is to make sure that
I work hard when I'm able to doso.
(32:29):
Because then when I slip intothat negative sort of zone, two,
three, four weeks, whatever itis, um, I can at least know that
I achieved X, Y, and Z duringthe last week, two weeks.
And that is a bit of comfortwhen things are not going
particularly well.
And sometimes too, justreminding oneself of the wins
(32:53):
that have been achieved andaccomplished during the good
times.
Um, just reminding yourself ofthat and be like, oh yeah, we
did we did some good stuff, andthen what it that in itself can
be a good way to get a bit oftraction and a foothold to gain
back towards a happier outlook.
Um, but also it's good if you ifthe work's done, because then
(33:17):
hopefully, theoretically, therewards and the outcome and the
consequences of the hardpositive work, uh, those
outcomes will f you know come tofruition at some point.
It might not be immediate, butthey're gonna come eventually,
because you know, the harder youwork, the luckier you seem to
(33:40):
be.
All of a sudden, I'm I'm prettydepressed this week, but hey, I
got a call back for that jobinterview though, and they were
really happy.
Thank goodness I applied forthat job last week when I was
feeling good because you know,now that this has happened, that
I feel good again, you know.
All of a sudden I'm back intothe positive again.
How good's this?
(34:00):
And that is good, and it's greatbecause it is positive feelings
and emotions and thoughts thatare organic.
They're coming from a realenvironmental, personal, um
point of, you know, point ofwhere it's coming.
I've lost my way, what was Isaying?
(34:20):
Um, it's an organic positiveframe of mind because you know
that you did the hard work, andit's because of the hard work
that this is now happening.
And that's a great feelingbecause it's like, yeah, I'm in
charge of my own destiny.
I have agency, I am empowered,and I have the control and the
(34:40):
ability to dictate terms andmake my life one that is well
and truly worth living.
Whereas if you don't take thesteps, then you leave yourself
open for big trouble, or atleast that's what happens for
me.
So there you go.
That's my story.
That actually is a lot longerthan I was thinking.
(35:02):
I hope that makes sense.
I feel like I might haverepeated a few sort of concepts
and maybe gone over it a bitover and over again.
And I'll be completely honestwith you, my inner critic is
just firing big time right now.
Big time.
You know, that little stumbleover words just I don't know,
probably a minute ago, I justhad a little fumble.
(35:23):
Um, I was very close, seriously,very close in that moment to
press stop and then pressdelete.
And I've had to reallyconsciously stop myself from
doing that because that would be35 minutes of gold, of absolute
amazing material loss forever.
(35:44):
And seeing as though it is 20 to2 in the morning right now, and
I have work at 7 a.m., uh, it'spretty important maybe that I
continue to save and publishthis episode because there is
definitely not enough time to doit again.
(36:05):
So it's got to be this one.
But I think overall it wentokay.
I think I got the point across,and I'm not going to repeat the
point, don't worry, but I willsay my dry mouth seemed to have
improved a little bit as thetalking went on.
So that's good.
So maybe that's the key.
Elliot needs to do more talking,which would be to the dismay of
(36:27):
everyone around me.
But you know, whatever.
That's fine.
All good.
Happy days.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you for listening.
If you're enjoying the show,feel free to like, subscribe,
give the show a great rating,and you can share it around with
your mates, and you can followme on Instagram at
elliott.t.waters, and you canfollow the show on Facebook at
(36:47):
the Disregulated Podcast.
All right, pretty happy to getthat one done.
I'll talk to you soon.
Have a good week.
Goodbye.
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