August 24, 2025 • 18 mins
Have you ever had to fight your own mind just to do something you love? In this follow-up episode to "When Social Anxiety Hits Back", I share my win of making it to the Newcastle Knights game—despite social anxiety trying it's hardest to keep me trapped at home.
It came down to a last-minute call, but walking into McDonald Jones Stadium with 30,000 fans reminded me that showing up matters more than the scoreboard. Even though the Knights went down to the Brisbane Broncos, pushing past my mental health barriers felt like the real victory. And it was!
Sometimes building a life worth living means leaning into discomfort and fronting up anyway, especially for the things that make us feel alive! Go Knights!
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
G'day everybody.
My name is Elliot Waters andyou're listening to the
Dysregulated Podcast, as always.
Thank you for tuning in, Well,well, well, guess who just got
home from the footy, from therugby league the Newcastle
Knights taking on the BrisbaneBroncos here at McDonald Jones
Stadium here in Newcastle.
Now if you're wondering what onearth I'm talking about, my
(00:34):
suggestion would be to listen tothe previous episode that has
been published, titled whenSocial Anxiety Hits Back Footy
Fear and Finding my Voice.
That will give you the contextfor this episode, because in
that episode I explained how mysocial anxiety had been really
(00:55):
peaking today and it appearedthat it was going to thwart my
efforts in going to watch myfooty team play today here at
home here in Newcastle, which isnot good for a variety of
reasons and I went through thatin the episode.
But of very great importance isthe fact that me being a
(01:19):
Newcastle Knights supporter is abig part of who I am, a big
part of my identity and it is abig part of this life worth
living that I'm trying to createfor myself.
So it appeared that the socialanxiety was going to be too much
and I wouldn't be able to makethe game, but I'm happy to
report everybody.
I got to the game.
I went there.
I watched the Knights play.
(01:40):
I watched the Knights getflogged play, I watched the
Knights get flogged, Brisbaneabsolutely flogged Newcastle in
the game.
It was a pretty sad state ofaffairs, to be honest, but
that's not the point.
Well, it is partly the point,but the bigger picture here is
that I was able to force myselfand force my social anxiety back
(02:01):
into its corner, wrestle withit, and I was able to get to the
game.
It was a very late decision.
It was a bit of rush of blood.
I did the podcast episodeprevious and when I finished
uploading and publishing thatepisode it was 10 minutes to two
and kickoff was at two o'clock.
Thankfully I live close to thestadium, but I did have to park
(02:23):
a little bit away.
Hopefully I live close to thestadium, but I did have to park
a little bit away.
So I got into the ground about10 minutes after kickoff, which
usually is a very stressful,anxiety sort of provoking
situation turning up to thingslate, especially the footy, when
I've got to try and find myseat.
But I pushed through that aswell.
I parked and I was like nah,I'm going in, I'm going in.
(02:45):
I'm going in.
It's going to happen.
All the listeners will be soproud of me when I can report
back that I got to the game.
And that's exactly what I did,despite the fact that I did
leave it a little bit late.
I did get there after kickoff,but that doesn't matter.
I got there, I sat with myfamily, with my parents, which
is always a bit different.
(03:05):
Usually I sit on the oppositeside of the ground and you're
probably thinking my voice hasrecovered pretty well,
considering earlier on it was abit hit and miss, and then you
would expect my yelling at thefootball to have a bit of an
impact on my voice.
And the reason why or thereasons as though, as why my
(03:27):
voice is in decent condition isbecause I'm not allowed to yell
profanities and as much abuse atthe referees and the opposition
most of the opposition andtheir fans.
I'm not allowed to do that whenI sit with my mother.
So I took the hit on that, Itook the loss on that, but they
(03:50):
had a seat spare for me, so Idecided to play the safe option
and I sat with them.
So I was still yelling out andcheering a bit, but, yeah, I was
a lot more subdued than usually.
I would be on the other side ofthe ground.
Yeah, I was a lot more subduedthan usually.
I would be on the other side ofthe ground.
I can tell you that the Knightsdid not perform very well at all
(04:10):
.
Like I said, we got flogged andthe opposition were offside all
game and although I was tryingto tell the referee that, the
referee as they usually dodidn't listen.
So not that I'm blaming thereferee.
Brisbane were far too strong.
That's the end now of the homegames for this season.
(04:30):
For this year.
It was a.
It's disappointing.
This isn't a rugby leaguepodcast, although I could easily
do one of them too, but it's ashame that and I'm not blaming
the players or anything Brisbaneare a tough opposition and
unfortunately we've been a bitoff the ball all year.
We've had injuries and,unfortunately, the Newcastle
(04:54):
Knights.
As a club, it's been a whilesince we've had some decent
success and this season has beenpretty woeful.
We're sitting near the bottomof the ladder and, unfortunately
, today followed the sameformula as most of the year has
as well.
But you know, that's okay, it'sall part of it.
But, as I said, the biggerpicture is that I got to the
(05:18):
game.
I got to the ground.
I was stressing out, don't getme wrong and even now, post game
, and it's not because we lostand I enjoyed being there today,
as I always do win, lose ordraw, I don't care.
I love going to the footy andwatching my mighty newcastle
knights play, but I am very.
(05:38):
My anxiety, my well, mygeneralized anxiety now is is
what's sort of peaking, um, andI think that's got to do with
just overstimulation, sensoryoverload.
I think my autism and my ADHDare saying right, we've had
enough fun and frivolity forthis weekend.
We've had all week talking tocustomers and stuff at work and
(05:59):
I've had some interviews andstuff at the university and with
a few things, which is exciting, but it's been a big week of
talking to people and beingamongst people.
And I think now it is Sunday,it's Sunday afternoon.
Um, I think some downtime is iswarranted big time because,
(06:20):
yeah, I'm feeling pretty, um,yeah, what can I say?
My anxiety, um, is, is not good.
It's actually worse nowpost-game than it was pre-game,
but again, it's not because ofthe football as such, it's just
the week.
It's just been a huge.
It's just been a huge.
It's been a big week.
It's been a lot achieved, butit's been hard, and it's weeks
(06:41):
like this that really highlightto me how difficult it is to
stay functional, especially ifyou're theoretically high
functioning, which supposedly Iam.
Okay, I've achieved a lot thisweek, but it has really drilled
me.
(07:02):
After the interviews and somepodcast recording I did for
another podcast that I'll tellyou more about in due course,
but after that I had a big dayat the uni that started at 5am.
I was getting videoed at theDixon Park Beach here in
Newcastle.
I was getting videoed for apackage that they're doing about
(07:25):
me at the uni, which is great.
But then that day then followedinto getting interviewed at the
university and then I recordedlike three episodes for this
podcast at the university andended up getting home at like 6
or 7 pm or something, Absolutely, as we would say in Australia,
absolutely rooted and, to behonest, that was like I don't
(07:49):
know when that was start of theweek and, to be honest, I
haven't really recovered fromthat massive day because then I
went straight into work, whichagain is full days of well, it
was 5am, starts again and thenall the customer facing sort of
tasks that I have to do, and youknow, the talking to people,
(08:09):
which you know isn't a problemper se, but it is very, very
taxing for somebody who has, youknow, mental health
complexities such as I.
You know I'm not naturally, Iguess, wired for this much
interpersonal contact.
And then going to the footballtoday, amongst you know, it was
a sellout, 30,000 people, soldout stadium, which is also why
(08:35):
the result was disappointing,because it was a big crowd and
the big crowd probably deserveda little bit better than what we
got.
But anyway, the point of thematter is, you know there's a
lot going on.
There was a lot of noise, youknow, there's just lots going on
and it's been a huge week and Ireally need to now find a way
to decompress, because then theweek starts again, Life starts
(08:57):
all over again and it's anotherbig week coming.
What will hopefully excuse mein the longer run, or at least
over the next few weeks, whatwill hopefully kick in and will
improve things a little bit, isthe fact that I've dropped some
days at work at Bunnings.
Um, come on, voice, keep going.
(09:18):
Um, it's showing a lot ofresilience.
My voice, I'm very proud of myvoice.
Anyway, um, uh, what was Isaying yes, uh, Bunnings, back
to three days a week.
So I'm hoping that there willbe improvements in my social
capacity because of droppingback some hours.
(09:39):
But of course, now I'm superanxious about money.
This is a topic probably foranother episode, but at the same
time it is a real problembecause, yeah, you know, is a
topic probably for anotherepisode, um, but at the same
time it's it is a real problembecause, yeah, you know, money's
tight and therapy's expensiveand and psychiatry's expensive,
although I'm going through thepublic system at the moment,
which which, thankfully inaustralia, means it's it's free,
(10:01):
um, but still there's.
You know there's a lot of mymedications, are getting more of
them and they're gettingthey're expensive.
What can I say?
So you know there's a lot of mymedications, I'm getting more
of them and they're expensive.
What can I say?
So you know there's a lot ofcosts going out and I am very,
very stressed about my financialsituation moving forward.
But I also am very, verystressed about my capacity to
(10:23):
function if I continue workingfull time in the role that I've
been doing, because there isonly so much I think I can take
and I think I've shown over thelast couple of weeks and you
would have heard it on thepodcast here that I've sort of
hit my limit in a few differentareas and I need to intervene
(10:46):
and do something about it.
And that's exactly what I'vedone.
But it's just so difficult thatto improve one aspect of my
mental health it's detrimentalto another aspect of my mental
health and it's just God.
It's just.
It's so frustrating and this isagain.
This is another topic foranother episode.
(11:06):
This especially deserves itsown and I need to do one on this
.
But there's a lot of people outthere who are financially worse
off than me and just don't havethe access to the help that they
need able to function enough tobe able to go to work, to pay
(11:29):
for things like therapy andmedications and psychiatry
reviews and I don't know.
It just breaks my heart and Ithink of those people a lot.
I do, Because, yeah, you knowthings are tight, but I am lucky
that I get to live with myparents.
Again, this is the whole sortof duality of things in that
living with my parents has somegreat advantages to it, Don't
(11:49):
get me wrong.
It does, and I'm veryappreciative of the fact that I
am here, but at the same time itis, as you would know,
listening to the show.
There's certain hang-ups I haveabout still being here at the
age that.
I am, Anyway, not dwelling onthat.
But yes, finances are going tobe tough moving forward and that
(12:10):
is going to be a topic that I'mgoing to be bringing up, I dare
say, a little bit on the show.
So if there's anyone out therethat's got some big money and
wants to back me and back thepodcast, feel free to reach out
and make a donation.
It's funny, you guys.
So again, I'm going off topic,but there is actually a
(12:32):
subscription function to thispodcast that I haven't turned on
.
But I don't know.
Maybe we'll see how desperate Iget and we'll see if my lovely
fans can chip in for sometherapy for poor Elliot.
Anyway, that's definitely notwhat the topic of this episode
is about.
The topic of this episode Elliotgetting back on track is the
(12:54):
fact that I did overcome mysocial anxiety that I was
suffering.
I was able to push through andpush beyond that and tackle it
to the ground and push it backinto the ingull area People who
know rugby league will know whatI'm talking about.
But I was able to essentiallypush back against this social
(13:16):
anxiety disorder and this socialanxiety stemming from autism.
And I was able to push backagainst that, against the
sensory overload, and achievesomething that is in keeping
with me, who I am, what I'mabout and what I want to be, and
that is the biggest NewcastleKnights supporter that there is
and supporting the club nomatter how we are performing.
(13:37):
And I do feel quite empoweredin knowing I said on the
previous episode only a fewhours ago excuse me that that
that there was no sort of well,not so much that there was no
good option, but both options,whether I went to the game or
(13:59):
whether I didn't, had potentialfor negative.
So you know what I sort ofpredicted is happening right now
, which is the overstimulationpart and just being overwhelmed
in general, and that anxietyspike.
But I know 100% that if I didn'tgo to the game today the last
home game of the season, knowingit was a sellout because,
(14:19):
although it's funny again, theduality of my life, although
being amongst big crowds isstressful I froth for sold out
games at McDonnell Jones Stadium, big crowd, big Newcastle crowd
, full of Novocastrians cheeringon the team Like I live for.
(14:39):
That's what I live for, youknow I said that in the previous
episode as well.
This is essentially.
This is one of those thingsthat I live for and that I hold
on to when I've been in somepretty mentally precarious
situations.
I legitimately think Elliotkeep pushing mate.
We've got the nights to hold onto, how much we love the nights
(15:00):
and how important it is to mylife and building this life
worth living.
So it is really great that Iwent to the game, because if I
didn't go I'd be very.
My anxiety maybe would beimproved.
So I'd be very.
My anxiety maybe would beimproved, but I would be very.
I'd be very.
I'd be in a very sorry, flat atbest, but probably quite
(15:20):
depressed mood.
And I've been able to avoidthat by pushing through some,
you know, doing a bit ofcognitive restructuring and
really, you know, grappling withmy psyche.
But we got there, we got thejob done, which is great.
It's just a shame that theKnights didn't get the job done.
In the NRLW, the Women's RugbyLeague, I mentioned how that
(15:43):
game was on as I was recordingearlier.
That game was being playedbefore the men's game.
Usually I go watch the women aswell because, again, I love the
club, the men and the women andunfortunately, the women got
beaten pretty convincingly aswell.
So it wasn't a very good day tobe a Newcastle Knights
(16:04):
supporter, but it was a verygood day and a great opportunity
for somebody who is sufferingfrom mental ill health to be
able to push beyond perceivedlimitations and weaknesses and
engage in an activity that isempowering.
And, as I said, in keeping withwho I am, I am the pride of the
(16:29):
hunter.
I am, in my opinion, the mostpassionate Newcastle Knights
supporter and I'm so glad that Iwas able to go to the match
today and I'm so glad that I'vebeen able to do this episode and
to deliver the good news to youguys.
So thank you everybody for yoursupport.
It's been a big day, it's been abig week.
(16:51):
There's been a lot going on.
Hopefully soon, very quickly,the intake interviews will be
back.
I've got some people lined upto interview, so I just got to
again.
That's the thing.
Very quickly.
The interviews have stalled abit, excuse me, because of this
(17:12):
overwhelmed feeling.
That's why they haven't been asprolific as I would like.
So hopefully, very soon, thenext interview will be coming.
So I'm very excited for thatand I'm telling you it'll be
well worth the wait.
Let me tell you that right now.
All right, Thank you everybody.
Thank you for listening.
Well done to me, Pat on theback, because that was pretty
(17:35):
difficult.
That was not easy, even thoughit's something I enjoy doing.
Unfortunately, as you know,listening to the show, that with
me, there's caveats ineverything that I do.
This is no different, but I wasable to push beyond my
perceived limitations and I gotit done.
How good's that.
All right, Thank you everybodyfor listening.
(17:55):
Again, if you're enjoying theshow, feel free to like,
subscribe, give the show a greatrating because it's good for
the algorithm, and you canfollow me on Instagram at
elliotttwaters.
You can also share the showaround with your mates I've
swapped them around this episodeand you can follow the show on
Facebook at the Dysregulatorpodcast.
(18:17):
All right, Thank you everybody.
I'm going to have a warm tea torest these vocal cords and I'll
talk to you soon.
See you later.
Goodbye, Thank you.
G'day everybody.
My name is Elliot Waters andyou're listening to the
Dysregulated Podcast, as always.
Thank you for tuning in, Well,well, well, guess who just got
home from the footy, from therugby league the Newcastle
Knights taking on the BrisbaneBroncos here at McDonald Jones
Stadium here in Newcastle.
Now if you're wondering what onearth I'm talking about, my
(00:34):
suggestion would be to listen tothe previous episode that has
been published, titled whenSocial Anxiety Hits Back Footy
Fear and Finding my Voice.
That will give you the contextfor this episode, because in
that episode I explained how mysocial anxiety had been really
(00:55):
peaking today and it appearedthat it was going to thwart my
efforts in going to watch myfooty team play today here at
home here in Newcastle, which isnot good for a variety of
reasons and I went through thatin the episode.
But of very great importance isthe fact that me being a
(01:19):
Newcastle Knights supporter is abig part of who I am, a big
part of my identity and it is abig part of this life worth
living that I'm trying to createfor myself.
So it appeared that the socialanxiety was going to be too much
and I wouldn't be able to makethe game, but I'm happy to
report everybody.
I got to the game.
I went there.
I watched the Knights play.
(01:40):
I watched the Knights getflogged play, I watched the
Knights get flogged, Brisbaneabsolutely flogged Newcastle in
the game.
It was a pretty sad state ofaffairs, to be honest, but
that's not the point.
Well, it is partly the point,but the bigger picture here is
that I was able to force myselfand force my social anxiety back
(02:01):
into its corner, wrestle withit, and I was able to get to the
game.
It was a very late decision.
It was a bit of rush of blood.
I did the podcast episodeprevious and when I finished
uploading and publishing thatepisode it was 10 minutes to two
and kickoff was at two o'clock.
Thankfully I live close to thestadium, but I did have to park
(02:23):
a little bit away.
Hopefully I live close to thestadium, but I did have to park
a little bit away.
So I got into the ground about10 minutes after kickoff, which
usually is a very stressful,anxiety sort of provoking
situation turning up to thingslate, especially the footy, when
I've got to try and find myseat.
But I pushed through that aswell.
I parked and I was like nah,I'm going in, I'm going in.
(02:45):
I'm going in.
It's going to happen.
All the listeners will be soproud of me when I can report
back that I got to the game.
And that's exactly what I did,despite the fact that I did
leave it a little bit late.
I did get there after kickoff,but that doesn't matter.
I got there, I sat with myfamily, with my parents, which
is always a bit different.
(03:05):
Usually I sit on the oppositeside of the ground and you're
probably thinking my voice hasrecovered pretty well,
considering earlier on it was abit hit and miss, and then you
would expect my yelling at thefootball to have a bit of an
impact on my voice.
And the reason why or thereasons as though, as why my
(03:27):
voice is in decent condition isbecause I'm not allowed to yell
profanities and as much abuse atthe referees and the opposition
most of the opposition andtheir fans.
I'm not allowed to do that whenI sit with my mother.
So I took the hit on that, Itook the loss on that, but they
(03:50):
had a seat spare for me, so Idecided to play the safe option
and I sat with them.
So I was still yelling out andcheering a bit, but, yeah, I was
a lot more subdued than usually.
I would be on the other side ofthe ground.
Yeah, I was a lot more subduedthan usually.
I would be on the other side ofthe ground.
I can tell you that the Knightsdid not perform very well at all
(04:10):
.
Like I said, we got flogged andthe opposition were offside all
game and although I was tryingto tell the referee that, the
referee as they usually dodidn't listen.
So not that I'm blaming thereferee.
Brisbane were far too strong.
That's the end now of the homegames for this season.
(04:30):
For this year.
It was a.
It's disappointing.
This isn't a rugby leaguepodcast, although I could easily
do one of them too, but it's ashame that and I'm not blaming
the players or anything Brisbaneare a tough opposition and
unfortunately we've been a bitoff the ball all year.
We've had injuries and,unfortunately, the Newcastle
(04:54):
Knights.
As a club, it's been a whilesince we've had some decent
success and this season has beenpretty woeful.
We're sitting near the bottomof the ladder and, unfortunately
, today followed the sameformula as most of the year has
as well.
But you know, that's okay, it'sall part of it.
But, as I said, the biggerpicture is that I got to the
(05:18):
game.
I got to the ground.
I was stressing out, don't getme wrong and even now, post game
, and it's not because we lostand I enjoyed being there today,
as I always do win, lose ordraw, I don't care.
I love going to the footy andwatching my mighty newcastle
knights play, but I am very.
(05:38):
My anxiety, my well, mygeneralized anxiety now is is
what's sort of peaking, um, andI think that's got to do with
just overstimulation, sensoryoverload.
I think my autism and my ADHDare saying right, we've had
enough fun and frivolity forthis weekend.
We've had all week talking tocustomers and stuff at work and
(05:59):
I've had some interviews andstuff at the university and with
a few things, which is exciting, but it's been a big week of
talking to people and beingamongst people.
And I think now it is Sunday,it's Sunday afternoon.
Um, I think some downtime is iswarranted big time because,
(06:20):
yeah, I'm feeling pretty, um,yeah, what can I say?
My anxiety, um, is, is not good.
It's actually worse nowpost-game than it was pre-game,
but again, it's not because ofthe football as such, it's just
the week.
It's just been a huge.
It's just been a huge.
It's been a big week.
It's been a lot achieved, butit's been hard, and it's weeks
(06:41):
like this that really highlightto me how difficult it is to
stay functional, especially ifyou're theoretically high
functioning, which supposedly Iam.
Okay, I've achieved a lot thisweek, but it has really drilled
me.
(07:02):
After the interviews and somepodcast recording I did for
another podcast that I'll tellyou more about in due course,
but after that I had a big dayat the uni that started at 5am.
I was getting videoed at theDixon Park Beach here in
Newcastle.
I was getting videoed for apackage that they're doing about
(07:25):
me at the uni, which is great.
But then that day then followedinto getting interviewed at the
university and then I recordedlike three episodes for this
podcast at the university andended up getting home at like 6
or 7 pm or something, Absolutely, as we would say in Australia,
absolutely rooted and, to behonest, that was like I don't
(07:49):
know when that was start of theweek and, to be honest, I
haven't really recovered fromthat massive day because then I
went straight into work, whichagain is full days of well, it
was 5am, starts again and thenall the customer facing sort of
tasks that I have to do, and youknow, the talking to people,
(08:09):
which you know isn't a problemper se, but it is very, very
taxing for somebody who has, youknow, mental health
complexities such as I.
You know I'm not naturally, Iguess, wired for this much
interpersonal contact.
And then going to the footballtoday, amongst you know, it was
a sellout, 30,000 people, soldout stadium, which is also why
(08:35):
the result was disappointing,because it was a big crowd and
the big crowd probably deserveda little bit better than what we
got.
But anyway, the point of thematter is, you know there's a
lot going on.
There was a lot of noise, youknow, there's just lots going on
and it's been a huge week and Ireally need to now find a way
to decompress, because then theweek starts again, Life starts
(08:57):
all over again and it's anotherbig week coming.
What will hopefully excuse mein the longer run, or at least
over the next few weeks, whatwill hopefully kick in and will
improve things a little bit, isthe fact that I've dropped some
days at work at Bunnings.
Um, come on, voice, keep going.
(09:18):
Um, it's showing a lot ofresilience.
My voice, I'm very proud of myvoice.
Anyway, um, uh, what was Isaying yes, uh, Bunnings, back
to three days a week.
So I'm hoping that there willbe improvements in my social
capacity because of droppingback some hours.
(09:39):
But of course, now I'm superanxious about money.
This is a topic probably foranother episode, but at the same
time it is a real problembecause, yeah, you know, is a
topic probably for anotherepisode, um, but at the same
time it's it is a real problembecause, yeah, you know, money's
tight and therapy's expensiveand and psychiatry's expensive,
although I'm going through thepublic system at the moment,
which which, thankfully inaustralia, means it's it's free,
(10:01):
um, but still there's.
You know there's a lot of mymedications, are getting more of
them and they're gettingthey're expensive.
What can I say?
So you know there's a lot of mymedications, I'm getting more
of them and they're expensive.
What can I say?
So you know there's a lot ofcosts going out and I am very,
very stressed about my financialsituation moving forward.
But I also am very, verystressed about my capacity to
(10:23):
function if I continue workingfull time in the role that I've
been doing, because there isonly so much I think I can take
and I think I've shown over thelast couple of weeks and you
would have heard it on thepodcast here that I've sort of
hit my limit in a few differentareas and I need to intervene
(10:46):
and do something about it.
And that's exactly what I'vedone.
But it's just so difficult thatto improve one aspect of my
mental health it's detrimentalto another aspect of my mental
health and it's just God.
It's just.
It's so frustrating and this isagain.
This is another topic foranother episode.
(11:06):
This especially deserves itsown and I need to do one on this
.
But there's a lot of people outthere who are financially worse
off than me and just don't havethe access to the help that they
need able to function enough tobe able to go to work, to pay
(11:29):
for things like therapy andmedications and psychiatry
reviews and I don't know.
It just breaks my heart and Ithink of those people a lot.
I do, Because, yeah, you knowthings are tight, but I am lucky
that I get to live with myparents.
Again, this is the whole sortof duality of things in that
living with my parents has somegreat advantages to it, Don't
(11:49):
get me wrong.
It does, and I'm veryappreciative of the fact that I
am here, but at the same time itis, as you would know,
listening to the show.
There's certain hang-ups I haveabout still being here at the
age that.
I am, Anyway, not dwelling onthat.
But yes, finances are going tobe tough moving forward and that
(12:10):
is going to be a topic that I'mgoing to be bringing up, I dare
say, a little bit on the show.
So if there's anyone out therethat's got some big money and
wants to back me and back thepodcast, feel free to reach out
and make a donation.
It's funny, you guys.
So again, I'm going off topic,but there is actually a
(12:32):
subscription function to thispodcast that I haven't turned on
.
But I don't know.
Maybe we'll see how desperate Iget and we'll see if my lovely
fans can chip in for sometherapy for poor Elliot.
Anyway, that's definitely notwhat the topic of this episode
is about.
The topic of this episode Elliotgetting back on track is the
(12:54):
fact that I did overcome mysocial anxiety that I was
suffering.
I was able to push through andpush beyond that and tackle it
to the ground and push it backinto the ingull area People who
know rugby league will know whatI'm talking about.
But I was able to essentiallypush back against this social
(13:16):
anxiety disorder and this socialanxiety stemming from autism.
And I was able to push backagainst that, against the
sensory overload, and achievesomething that is in keeping
with me, who I am, what I'mabout and what I want to be, and
that is the biggest NewcastleKnights supporter that there is
and supporting the club nomatter how we are performing.
(13:37):
And I do feel quite empoweredin knowing I said on the
previous episode only a fewhours ago excuse me that that
that there was no sort of well,not so much that there was no
good option, but both options,whether I went to the game or
(13:59):
whether I didn't, had potentialfor negative.
So you know what I sort ofpredicted is happening right now
, which is the overstimulationpart and just being overwhelmed
in general, and that anxietyspike.
But I know 100% that if I didn'tgo to the game today the last
home game of the season, knowingit was a sellout because,
(14:19):
although it's funny again, theduality of my life, although
being amongst big crowds isstressful I froth for sold out
games at McDonnell Jones Stadium, big crowd, big Newcastle crowd
, full of Novocastrians cheeringon the team Like I live for.
(14:39):
That's what I live for, youknow I said that in the previous
episode as well.
This is essentially.
This is one of those thingsthat I live for and that I hold
on to when I've been in somepretty mentally precarious
situations.
I legitimately think Elliotkeep pushing mate.
We've got the nights to hold onto, how much we love the nights
(15:00):
and how important it is to mylife and building this life
worth living.
So it is really great that Iwent to the game, because if I
didn't go I'd be very.
My anxiety maybe would beimproved.
So I'd be very.
My anxiety maybe would beimproved, but I would be very.
I'd be very.
I'd be in a very sorry, flat atbest, but probably quite
(15:20):
depressed mood.
And I've been able to avoidthat by pushing through some,
you know, doing a bit ofcognitive restructuring and
really, you know, grappling withmy psyche.
But we got there, we got thejob done, which is great.
It's just a shame that theKnights didn't get the job done.
In the NRLW, the Women's RugbyLeague, I mentioned how that
(15:43):
game was on as I was recordingearlier.
That game was being playedbefore the men's game.
Usually I go watch the women aswell because, again, I love the
club, the men and the women andunfortunately, the women got
beaten pretty convincingly aswell.
So it wasn't a very good day tobe a Newcastle Knights
(16:04):
supporter, but it was a verygood day and a great opportunity
for somebody who is sufferingfrom mental ill health to be
able to push beyond perceivedlimitations and weaknesses and
engage in an activity that isempowering.
And, as I said, in keeping withwho I am, I am the pride of the
(16:29):
hunter.
I am, in my opinion, the mostpassionate Newcastle Knights
supporter and I'm so glad that Iwas able to go to the match
today and I'm so glad that I'vebeen able to do this episode and
to deliver the good news to youguys.
So thank you everybody for yoursupport.
It's been a big day, it's been abig week.
(16:51):
There's been a lot going on.
Hopefully soon, very quickly,the intake interviews will be
back.
I've got some people lined upto interview, so I just got to
again.
That's the thing.
Very quickly.
The interviews have stalled abit, excuse me, because of this
(17:12):
overwhelmed feeling.
That's why they haven't been asprolific as I would like.
So hopefully, very soon, thenext interview will be coming.
So I'm very excited for thatand I'm telling you it'll be
well worth the wait.
Let me tell you that right now.
All right, Thank you everybody.
Thank you for listening.
Well done to me, Pat on theback, because that was pretty
(17:35):
difficult.
That was not easy, even thoughit's something I enjoy doing.
Unfortunately, as you know,listening to the show, that with
me, there's caveats ineverything that I do.
This is no different, but I wasable to push beyond my
perceived limitations and I gotit done.
How good's that.
All right, Thank you everybodyfor listening.
(17:55):
Again, if you're enjoying theshow, feel free to like,
subscribe, give the show a greatrating because it's good for
the algorithm, and you canfollow me on Instagram at
elliotttwaters.
You can also share the showaround with your mates I've
swapped them around this episodeand you can follow the show on
Facebook at the Dysregulatorpodcast.
(18:17):
All right, Thank you everybody.
I'm going to have a warm tea torest these vocal cords and I'll
talk to you soon.
See you later.
Goodbye, Thank you.
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