When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the programming behind auto-accommodating and how to practice pausing before you respond so your answer is actually aligned with your needs and desires. Here’s what I cover:
- How we are programmed to conflate accommodation with reward, safety, and connection
- 3 questions to help you understand the part of yourself that habitually auto-accommodates
- How toxic capitalism reinforces the idea that our worth comes from serving others at our own expense
- Why going back and revising an automatic “yes” will help you build your pause muscle
- How to avoid self-judgment around your fear of saying “no”
- A phrase to use when you want to contribute without auto-accommodating
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What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
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