Episode 129 - How to Break the Habit of Auto Accommodating

When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the programming behind auto-accommodating and how to practice pausing before you respond so your answer is actually aligned with your needs and desires. Here’s what I cover:​

• How we are programmed to conflate accommodation with reward, safety, and connection
• 3 questions to help you understand the part of yourself that habitually auto-accommodates
• How toxic capitalism reinforces the idea that our worth comes from serving others at our own expense
• Why going back and revising an automatic “yes” will help you build your pause muscle
• How to avoid self-judgment around your fear of saying “no”
• A phrase to use when you want to contribute without auto-accommodating

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