Rage, Resentment & Emotional Alchemy | How Facing My Anger Helped Me Unlock Power, Purpose & Clarity
October 13, 2025 • 32 mins
What if the anger you’ve spent years suppressing isn’t something to fix—but a compass guiding you home?
In this episode of The Femme Cast, I take you inside the storm — literally — to a cabin on a rock, by the ocean on an island in Thailand, where I met my rage face to face. What began as a night of emotional chaos became the birthplace of my Emotional Alchemy practice: a way to transmute anger, resentment, and rage into power, purpose, sovereignty, and clean energetic boundaries.
We’ll unpack how the cycle of anger → resentment → rage is not a moral failing, but a sacred map. Anger appears when a boundary is crossed or a need is ignored. Resentment festers when we silence the message. And rage? Rage is the soul’s final attempt to be heard—an eruption born from years of self-abandonment and people-pleasing.
Through personal stories—caregiving pressures, emotional exhaustion, and even a near-meltdown in a Walmart aisle—you’ll learn how to move through this emotional fire without burning bridges or yourself. Together, we’ll explore:
🎤 The true message beneath your anger (and how to actually hear it)
🎤 How people-pleasing disconnects you from your body’s guidance
🎤 Somatic release practices to move emotion safely through the body
🎤 Candid journaling prompts that reveal what your anger is protecting
🎤 Simple, powerful boundary scripts that keep your energy clean and sacred
🎤 How to transform rage into clarity, confidence, and inner calm
This isn’t about “managing” emotions—it’s about liberating them. When you stop fearing your anger and start listening to it, you unlock your most magnetic power: the courage to lead yourself with honesty, integrity, and love.
If you’ve ever felt ashamed of your anger, trapped in resentment, or terrified of your own intensity, know this…
Nothing is wrong with you. Your emotions are divine messengers. Rage is not the end—it’s the portal. Through the fire, you rise softer, wiser, and infinitely more powerful.
Your anger isn’t here to destroy you.
It’s here to deliver you back to yourself.
Tune in, and let this episode be your invitation to release, reclaim, and remember who you truly are.
Ready to stop shrinking for others? Let this episode be your sign → Step into your Unapologetic Era: https://thefemmecast.com/breakthrough
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey guys, what is up and welcome back to the show.
(00:02):
I'm so excited and grateful tohave you guys here.
Welcome if you're new.
I am so so so excited for thisnext series, you guys.
I have been planning this for solong.
I have been hesitating to sharethis for so long.
It is literally the body of workthat I've been working on for
literally years.
Um, and I'm so excited to shareit with you today.
(00:23):
And I my heart feels full, andyou're gonna hear the topic and
you're gonna be like, really?
That's what makes your heartfeel full.
But it's this conversation onanger, resentment, and rage.
And why it is so important.
Like the this whole series isabout cultivating a healthier
relationship with our anger, ourrage, and our resentment so that
(00:47):
we can use it to our advantage.
I fully believe that everyemotion that we feel is serving
us in a powerful way.
We just need to learn how toprocess and move through our
emotions in healthy ways.
And I think that's the partthat's missing for so many of
(01:07):
us.
Like we're not taught how to dothis, we don't know how to, we
didn't, we don't even know thatwe don't even know that there is
a healthy way to move throughemotions like anger and rage and
resentment.
And the reality is as humanbeings, um, we feel these
things.
We're meant to feel thesethings.
(01:29):
These are how we transform,these are how we evolve.
Every single emotion serves apurpose.
Um, and it's how we learn tomove through that emotion that
that person, that purpose getsto be really fulfilled.
So I really do want to befocusing on anger, rage, and
resentment.
These, you know, anger, rage,and resentment is the plight of
(01:52):
the people pleaser, you know,because we do this, we bottle up
so much of our emotions.
We we're always letting ourboundaries get crossed, we're
always letting people takeadvantage of us, we're always
giving more than we receiveback.
This makes us angry.
That anger then returns, turnsto resentment, that right
resentment turns to rage.
(02:13):
Um, and we keep bottling it allup inside of us and um, you
know, letting it build andletting it fester and letting it
do so much damage.
All of these are littleconversations that we're gonna
have throughout the next coupleof episodes, a few episodes.
Um, but that just kind of givesyou a teaser of how why we're
talking about this and how thisall fits together, okay?
(02:35):
Um so I've mentioned this storybefore um here on the show.
I've talked about, you know, mytravels through Southeast Asia
and how, you know, there was onenight where I was trapped on the
rocks outside of um, it was onthe western side of Kopenya,
which is a smaller island inThailand, the island with the
(02:55):
famous full moon party, whichyes, we went to a full moon
party.
Um, we actually, it's funny.
I'm trying to remember the orderof events.
I'm pretty sure we went to themeditation retreat, escaped the
meta rechation retreat, and thenwent to the full moon party.
Something along those lines.
I'm pretty sure that was theorder of events as it took
place.
But um, you know, there wasthere was there was plenty going
(03:22):
on to both trigger and help meavoid the feelings that were
coming up from me.
And believe me, like take itfrom somebody who traveled I
don't know how many 10,000 milesmore um to escape, to learn to
heal, but also to escape a lotof her triggers.
(03:42):
Your stuff comes with you.
Like you can't run, you can'trun from yourself.
You really can't.
Um, so you know the themeditation retreat we we escaped
from.
Yeah, there was some not so goodum people and practices there,
but um, I think they were a veryconvenient excuse to leave some
(04:03):
place that was making me reallycome face to face with what I
was holding on the inside,right?
And maybe in a lot of ways, nowthat I think about it, a lot of
what we saw in that meditationretreat, as unhealthy and
dysfunctional as it was, wasactually a mirror for what was
going on inside of me.
(04:24):
Um then I escaped to the partiesand you know, the full moon
parties and whatever.
Had a great time, met someamazing people, wildly
distracted from anything goingon internally, and then got
stuck on this cabin by myself.
Long story.
Um, but basically got stuck onthis cabin by myself.
It was like situated on top of aboulder um on the west coast of
(04:48):
the island.
Um, couldn't get in or outbecause the the the only way out
of there was like through a longtail boat or a jungle jeep and
couldn't access either becausethe the weather was so bad.
There was like um the jungle wasmuddy, the the the the
mountainside was muddy, thewaters were rough, the long tail
boats couldn't get, couldn'teven get in.
(05:11):
Um, I was stuck.
And so I had to spend the nighton this cabin that was on a
boulder, um, right on the sideof the right, like right on the
edge of the coast, like right onthe coastline.
Like that was like theshoreline.
And so the waves were justcrashing right up against this
boulder all night long.
Um, and there I was in the dark,no Wi-Fi, because I couldn't get
(05:34):
a signal, waves crashing on therock.
Every time the waves hit therock, that cabin would just
shake and shutter.
It was like, it was like therewas something exploding beneath
the cabin every time one ofthose waves crashed up against
the rock.
And, you know, before I knew it,you know, first I was scared,
right?
Scared as like so scared thanI'd ever been my entire life, I
(05:57):
think.
Then I got really emotional.
Um, I started crying.
I didn't know what I was cryingabout.
Like all these just memoriesjust kind of came flooding back
to me.
Next thing you know, I'm filledwith so much rage.
I'm screaming and I can't evenhear myself because the
thundering crash of the waves isso loud.
I'm literally like completelycamouflaged.
(06:20):
So nobody can hear me.
I can't even hear me at thispoint.
I'm screaming at the top of mylungs.
I really couldn't tell that Iwas screaming, like from what I
was hearing, because the thecrash of the wave was so hard.
Um, the only way I really knew Iwas screaming is because I woke
up the next morning and Iliterally had no voice.
I was screaming so hard.
Um, so you know, a lot of rage,a lot of rage, a lot of anger, a
(06:43):
lot of resentment came to thesurface that night.
Um, and I did sit with a lot ofit and I did kind of just allow
the feelings to come up and justmove through me and just process
them.
Like there, there was so much Ithink I had I had stored
probably like for my like sinceI was little.
I was an expert at suppressingmy emotions.
(07:05):
And so many of us, I think, whoare people pleasers struggle
with that.
And what I think we need toremember is that that's where
our truth, a lot of our truthcomes from.
That's where a lot of our powercomes from to speak our truth,
to set boundaries, to to ask forwhat we want and be really clear
and assertive.
So so much of our power comesfrom that.
(07:27):
So much of our truth comes fromthat, and so much of our
magnetism actually comes fromthat.
And I think that's where I thinka lot of the times we've gotten
it wrong.
Um, there is a powerful sourceof energy that comes from moving
through your anger and your rageand your resentment that you've
been holding on to.
And we're gonna talk more aboutthat in episodes to come.
But um, in that cabin thatnight, that's really where my
(07:50):
practice for emotional alchemywas born.
And that's where I learned toreally just talk to my emotion
like another part of me, um, andreally start to look at why
they're there and what it isthat they're trying to teach me,
which has become a reallypowerful practice for me.
I've, you know, I've been veryfaithful with my morning
practice practice.
(08:11):
Um, I'm not gonna say every daybecause there's been times where
I felt like, you know what, Ineed a break from you for a
little bit, but it didn't lastvery long.
Like I've been pretty muchreligiously doing my practice
for um, and I realize I justcontradicted myself by saying
pretty much religiously, butlet's just say I've been fairly
consistent with doing mypractice.
(08:32):
Um I'd say almost for the last15 years, 10 to 15 years, it's
been 10 for sure minimum.
Um maybe like more accurately 12to 13 years.
And by saying mostly consistent,what mostly consistent means is
literally doing it every morningthat I how can I how do I put
(08:58):
how do I quantify this?
There is very few mornings inthat period where I didn't do my
morning practice.
There are some mornings likewhere my my day started really
early and you know just didn'thave enough time or I woke up
late.
I make exceptions on those days,but they're very far and few
between.
Um, I'm the kind of person whereif I need to be somewhere at six
or if I need to start gettingready at six, I will get up at
(09:20):
five to do my morning practice.
If that's what it means for meto isolate some time to be with
myself, I will do that.
Now, there are times, like Isaid, where I just start
ridiculously early, likeespecially if I'm with my
parents and having to take careof them, or if they're in
hospital, or if they're unwelland that's taken precedent, then
you know I may not do it onthose days, or if I'm just
really tired and I really justneed to sleep in, I will let
(09:42):
myself sleep in.
But for the most part, I willwake up an hour before I have to
start getting ready and do mymorning practice.
There's only been there's oddfew days here and there where I
don't do it, to be honest.
Most there are most weeks I doit every day.
Put it that way.
Most weeks I do it seven days aweek.
Occasionally I will let myselfoff the hook.
And there have been a fewperiods where I had to take a
(10:04):
step back from it for like aweek or two and say, okay, you
know what?
I think I need to just pause.
And I think I just need to umshift my energy.
Maybe it was because I needed toum, you know, discover a new
morning practice.
I've told you guys so many, likeI've got so many tools in my
tickle trunk of morning practicetools and techniques.
(10:24):
Um, and every now and then Ineed to shift it.
You know, I need to shift thevisualization next time.
I need to shift the journaling,I need to shift the
affirmations.
Like the focus is different,things have changed, I've
evolved.
Like, you know, sometimes I needto time to reset to ground to
see where I'm at and and kind offigure out what's next, right?
So, and sometimes I just need abreak, right?
(10:45):
Sometimes I just need to,sometimes I need a personal
development detox.
And I think personal developmentdetoxes are actually really
healthy to do, especially ifyou're somebody who's really
passionate about your ownpersonal development.
So take it or leave it.
That's my advice to you today.
Um, but you know, going back tothis experience, right, where I
(11:07):
kind of, you know, this is wheremy practice for emotional
alchemy really began.
And this is where my practicefor really um using my emotions
and learning from them andconversing with them and trying
to, you know, uh be more curiousabout why they're there, as
opposed to either ignoring them,denying them, pretending they
(11:29):
don't exist, um, camouflagingthem, pretending to be or feel
something that I don't, youknow, all these little things,
all these little techniques thatwe use to avoid what's really
going on internally, is reallyjust or judging ourselves
harshly for them and thinkingthat we're bad people for having
these feelings, or you know, um,just really just getting curious
(11:51):
and sitting down and being opento whatever wants to come
forward, you know, that has beena part of my daily practice um
most of through most of thatjourney, through most of that
that period of of you know doinga consistent morning practice.
Um that has probably been theone tool that I almost never
(12:16):
exclude.
It's almost like the foundation,right?
Um have I excluded it from time?
Yeah, sometimes.
Sometimes I just feel like, youknow what?
Again, maybe I need an emotionalalchemy detail.
Maybe I've done enough emotionallike excavating for now.
I maybe I just need a break,right?
(12:37):
And and I give that to myselfagain.
But for the most part, that hasbeen probably one of the most
consistent tools that I lean onhas been um this tool where I I,
you know, and and I'm gonnashare some of the prompts with
you in later um episodes, butthis tool for just just having
really candid and open andhonest conversation with the
emotions that are coming upbecause again, every emotion is
(13:00):
trying to heal you, is trying toteach you, is here to guide you,
is here to transform you, and ishere to help you evolve as a
spiritual being.
Um, and so I think it's really,really, really important that um
that we remain open to that.
Now, rage specifically, right?
Um, you know, I healed a lot ofmy rage last night, that that
(13:22):
night, last night, that night.
Um, but the rage did come upagain in 2024 when my caregiving
responsibilities with my parentsreally amped up after my mom had
her fall.
Um, and um, you know, things gotreally intense really, really,
really quickly.
And what I noticed was, andthere was also some other things
(13:43):
going on in my life with my withmy career and and my work at the
time.
I had lost my job, I had gottenanother job, but it wasn't, it
was, it was, it was just it wasa filler, right?
It was a filler because I wasworking on the podcast and I was
working on the business, I wastaking care of my mom.
Like there were so many thingsgoing on.
My energy was just spread in somany different directions that I
(14:04):
needed to just find something umeasy that can kind of just I
could just kind of slot it intomy life kind of effortlessly,
um, just to give me a little bitof cushion, right?
And I, you know, I was just sounhappy with what I was, you
know, doing.
Um, there were so many thingsthat were triggering anger in
me.
There were so many things thatwere triggering um all this like
(14:29):
trapped and suppressed emotionin me.
And I remember being in aWalmart one day, and you know,
um, you know, my mom wasstruggling, my dad was acting
up, somebody bumped me with ashopping cart, you know, and all
of a sudden I needed to walkinto another aisle where there
where there was nobody there andjust like just let myself
(14:51):
breathe because I felt so muchanger coming up all of a sudden
that I literally wanted to startscreaming in the middle of a
store.
Um, and so, you know, knowingwhat I know and knowing what I
do and knowing what I've, youknow, I experienced everything.
And I and it's funny becausewhen I was going through that, I
remembered that night on therock.
And I said, okay, you know what?
(15:11):
I think it's time to take a lookat this again.
And so I did.
And, you know, this whole lastyear, like this was this was
actually probably, I'm coming upprobably on the anniversary
right now, because it wasprobably around October,
November of last year.
Um what this did for me over thelast year as I started to look
at this, is I started to look atrage more closely, and I started
(15:32):
to look at I I really started toget intimate with it.
Um, and what I found out aboutrage through this process, and
again, like I'm not apsychologist, like I can't give
you like the psychologicalexplanation for our definition
of rage.
I really couldn't.
Um I you know, I know, you know,there's anger, there's
(15:52):
resentment, there's rage.
To me, they're all one in thesame family, or at least they
have been for me, and they havebeen for a lot of the women that
I've worked with.
Because when we work together,like if you've ever worked with
me, you'll know this.
You know, we move throughemotions and layers, right?
And we start to unpack andunravel and you know, kind of
set you free from all theseemotions that have been kind of
(16:13):
stuck and lingering beneath thesurface and creating basically
shit you don't want, right?
So with rage, and you know,again, my clients are typically
women, typically peoplepleasers.
So maybe it's something specificto that, right?
Um, but typically what I findis, you know, the anger comes
first, right?
(16:34):
So something happens and itmakes us angry.
A boundary gets crossed.
Um, you know, we're we're feltstifled in some way, we're felt
repressed, uh suppressed, um,oppressed in some way.
Um, someone lets us down.
We we put our effort, we giveand we give and we give, and we
(16:56):
don't get what we're expectingin return.
And that could, that could stem,like that could be with so many
things, right?
Like that can be relationships,that could be career, that can
be business, right?
Like anything that you'repouring your energy into that
you thought was gonna like payoff for you that in the end
didn't, that can make you angry.
Um, an unmet need or desire, youknow, whatever it is, there's
(17:18):
this moment where you feelanger, right?
And what happens is oftentimesif we're a people pleaser, oh,
but anger's bad.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonnaignore that.
I'm gonna ignore that.
I'm gonna think happy thoughts,I'm gonna think positive, I'm
(17:39):
going to try again, differentenergy, you know.
It it was a moment, it passed,it's done, it's not gonna happen
again.
That person's not gonna, youknow, cross that boundary again.
Um you know, maybe, maybe youtry to in a passive grow passive
aggressive way let them knowthat you were upset.
Think they got the hint, theydidn't.
(18:00):
Um and um, you know, you justkind of you know, try to sweep
it under the rug.
Then it happens again.
Um and so we do the same thing.
We ignore it, sweep it under therug, um, and happens again and
again and again, and we keepsweeping it up, uh sweeping it
(18:24):
under the rug until this theanger, the anger that became
rage is now built up so much itnow, or sorry, resentment built
builds resentment, jumpingahead, builds like this
resentment over and over andover again until it boils over
so much that it becomes pureuninhibited rage.
(18:46):
And now suppressing that hasbecome a chore in itself, right?
Um, so you know, let's let'sdissect that, right?
So when the moment happens,initially happens, there's
there, you know, when you getangry, when the boundaries
cross, when you're disappointed,when you're let down, um, you
(19:07):
know, whatever they can the casemay be, know that there is a
message in that for you, right?
Like, yeah, there's a part ofyou that's just angry and
projecting at the other personand blaming them for what you
experience, and I and that'snormal.
And we all do that, butunderneath all of that, that
anger has a message for you.
Okay, it has a message for youabout where you need to uphold
(19:32):
your boundaries, where you needto speak more clearly, where you
need to be able to ask for whatyou want.
And if if you're not gettingwhat you want, then you need to,
you know, you maybe you need toyou need to to to redirect or or
make make a different decision,take a different course of
action, right?
Um and so, but we ignore that,right?
(19:56):
Because we don't actually payattention to the anger.
We just try to sweep it underthe rug and assume it's not
going to happen again.
Next time we'll be better, nexttime we'll be easier, next time
they'll get it, they don't.
It happens again, we sweep itunder the rug again.
Because ultimately, and I don'tknow, I mean, obviously we're
afraid.
Obviously, there's a part of us,and I believe it's the I believe
the ego is afraid for us toreally understand what the
(20:19):
message of that anger is,because then we have to act on
it, right?
And that scares the crap out ofthe ego because the ego just
wants to keep you safe, right?
That it is hardwired to keep youon the safe and narrow, right?
And so listening to that angerand paying attention to it might
actually make you do somethingthat's really uncomfortable or
(20:39):
make you realize you need to dosomething that might be really
uncomfortable for you becauseit's going to bring you one step
closer to your power and yourpotential, right?
And that scares the crap out ofthe ego every time.
Um, so we try to avoid theanger.
We avoid the anger again andagain.
And every time it happens, weget more angry and then it
becomes resentment, and then itbecomes rage.
And when it becomes rage, it'sthis accumulation of anger and
(21:03):
resentment that we have felt foryears that now is just ready to
explode on the next innocentbystander at the grocery store
who bumps you with a grocerycart.
Guilty.
Um but what's interesting iswhenever I've dissected this,
and it's funny, I've I've seenit in my clients, and I and I
(21:25):
started to see it in myself aswell last year when I started to
really dive into this work.
What I realized in the rage wasthat yes, there was that surface
level part that was projectingonto I'm angry because they took
advantage of me.
I'm angry because they don'trespect my boundaries, I'm angry
but whatever, whatever the casemay be.
(21:48):
Um beneath all of that is anunderlying anger at yourself
because of all the ways you'veself-abandoned to let that
happen.
And that's the part that weoften don't pay attention to
because we have to let that, thethe surface level stuff out
first.
The noise, the the part of youthat's projecting onto everyone
(22:11):
else.
We have to fully let that outbefore we can hear the
underlying message that yoursoul has for you from all of
that rage and turmoil, anger andresentment that you've been
feeling, maybe even frustration,right?
But the problem is we won't letourselves let all that surface
(22:33):
level angle anger and rage out.
So can we can hear the calm,guiding light that comes from
that rage, right?
Or if we do, we do it in theunhealthiest ways, and all we
create is more rage and moreanger and more resentment,
right?
Because we haven't handled itappropriately.
We've either suppressed itcompletely and denied it and
avoided it and and and tried topretend it didn't exist, or
(22:57):
we've projected it onto thepeople that we love most, right?
And created harmful and painfulinteractions both for ourselves
and for the other.
Never really have we learned todeal with our rage and our anger
and our resentment in reallyhealthy, loving ways, both for
loving for ourselves and lovingfor the people around us.
(23:18):
Um and so where we start in theunraveling is letting all that
rage out, right?
So all that stuff that all thatsurface level stuff that's
blaming this person or this jobor that business or this
circumstance for whatever it isthat you're feeling right now is
(23:40):
is letting it all out and reallytuning into what the the deeper
message that that rage has foryou.
And again, you have to bring itback to okay, so I'm right now
I'm rage.
This is where the resentment hasbuilt up.
This was where the initial pointof anger began, and you almost
(24:01):
have to go back to that point,right?
Which is a lot of the work thatwe do together.
But I think that you know thefirst step, the first step in
all of this is in reallylearning to let that rage and
anger, that projection out inhealthy ways.
(24:25):
Now, having said that, there areso many ways that you know you
can start to heal and unpack andmove through all that stored
rage and anger and resentmentthat you've been holding on to,
if that is you.
Um, but the important thing toremember first, you know, before
you even we before you even godown that road, and we're gonna
(24:45):
give you some really, reallycool tips and techniques in this
series to really help you.
But before you even go down thatroad, I just want you to be
present with um, you know, thefact that the rage exists, the
anger exists, the resentmentexists, and it doesn't mean
anything about you.
(25:07):
Rage does not make you a badperson, it doesn't mean you're
not kind, it doesn't mean thatyou're not loving.
Um, it doesn't mean that you'vedone anything wrong, which
oftentimes, you know, thespiritual development or the
personal development communitycan easily make you do.
Um, it's none of that.
It is a normal and healthy partof your human experience.
(25:31):
It is a normal and healthy partof your evolution here as a
spiritual being having a humanexperience.
So um let it just set theintention that you are willing
to see how this anger, thisrage, this resentment might be
supporting you.
Let just be open to the factthat it might be here for your
(25:52):
highest good.
Be open to the fact that it mayhave a very positive purpose and
light to shine in your life andthat you're open and available
to seeing what that is.
And that's really going to makethe biggest difference.
And when we start to, when westart to redefine our
relationship with our emotionalexperience, that is when we
(26:13):
really become powerful asspiritual beings.
The problem is that we've beentaught to shame, to limit, to
avoid, to suppress, to hide somany different emotions because
they're bad or not good or nothealthy or low vibrational or
whatever the fuck we've beentaught.
And it's all a bunch of BS.
That is where our power is, andthat is where our evolution
(26:35):
takes place, and that is wherewe was up, we we evolve into
higher spiritual beings.
So um learn to just be presentwith your emotions and allow
them to be there and make themnot mean anything about who you
are, how good you are, or howloving you are, or how high
vibrational you are.
It is all in how you movethrough them.
(26:58):
That is what defines you as aperson and your vibration.
Okay, so we are gonna talk moreabout this, but until next time,
you guys, massive love.
Hey guys, what is up and welcome back to the show.
(00:02):
I'm so excited and grateful tohave you guys here.
Welcome if you're new.
I am so so so excited for thisnext series, you guys.
I have been planning this for solong.
I have been hesitating to sharethis for so long.
It is literally the body of workthat I've been working on for
literally years.
Um, and I'm so excited to shareit with you today.
(00:23):
And I my heart feels full, andyou're gonna hear the topic and
you're gonna be like, really?
That's what makes your heartfeel full.
But it's this conversation onanger, resentment, and rage.
And why it is so important.
Like the this whole series isabout cultivating a healthier
relationship with our anger, ourrage, and our resentment so that
(00:47):
we can use it to our advantage.
I fully believe that everyemotion that we feel is serving
us in a powerful way.
We just need to learn how toprocess and move through our
emotions in healthy ways.
And I think that's the partthat's missing for so many of
(01:07):
us.
Like we're not taught how to dothis, we don't know how to, we
didn't, we don't even know thatwe don't even know that there is
a healthy way to move throughemotions like anger and rage and
resentment.
And the reality is as humanbeings, um, we feel these
things.
We're meant to feel thesethings.
(01:29):
These are how we transform,these are how we evolve.
Every single emotion serves apurpose.
Um, and it's how we learn tomove through that emotion that
that person, that purpose getsto be really fulfilled.
So I really do want to befocusing on anger, rage, and
resentment.
These, you know, anger, rage,and resentment is the plight of
(01:52):
the people pleaser, you know,because we do this, we bottle up
so much of our emotions.
We we're always letting ourboundaries get crossed, we're
always letting people takeadvantage of us, we're always
giving more than we receiveback.
This makes us angry.
That anger then returns, turnsto resentment, that right
resentment turns to rage.
(02:13):
Um, and we keep bottling it allup inside of us and um, you
know, letting it build andletting it fester and letting it
do so much damage.
All of these are littleconversations that we're gonna
have throughout the next coupleof episodes, a few episodes.
Um, but that just kind of givesyou a teaser of how why we're
talking about this and how thisall fits together, okay?
(02:35):
Um so I've mentioned this storybefore um here on the show.
I've talked about, you know, mytravels through Southeast Asia
and how, you know, there was onenight where I was trapped on the
rocks outside of um, it was onthe western side of Kopenya,
which is a smaller island inThailand, the island with the
(02:55):
famous full moon party, whichyes, we went to a full moon
party.
Um, we actually, it's funny.
I'm trying to remember the orderof events.
I'm pretty sure we went to themeditation retreat, escaped the
meta rechation retreat, and thenwent to the full moon party.
Something along those lines.
I'm pretty sure that was theorder of events as it took
place.
But um, you know, there wasthere was there was plenty going
(03:22):
on to both trigger and help meavoid the feelings that were
coming up from me.
And believe me, like take itfrom somebody who traveled I
don't know how many 10,000 milesmore um to escape, to learn to
heal, but also to escape a lotof her triggers.
(03:42):
Your stuff comes with you.
Like you can't run, you can'trun from yourself.
You really can't.
Um, so you know the themeditation retreat we we escaped
from.
Yeah, there was some not so goodum people and practices there,
but um, I think they were a veryconvenient excuse to leave some
(04:03):
place that was making me reallycome face to face with what I
was holding on the inside,right?
And maybe in a lot of ways, nowthat I think about it, a lot of
what we saw in that meditationretreat, as unhealthy and
dysfunctional as it was, wasactually a mirror for what was
going on inside of me.
(04:24):
Um then I escaped to the partiesand you know, the full moon
parties and whatever.
Had a great time, met someamazing people, wildly
distracted from anything goingon internally, and then got
stuck on this cabin by myself.
Long story.
Um, but basically got stuck onthis cabin by myself.
It was like situated on top of aboulder um on the west coast of
(04:48):
the island.
Um, couldn't get in or outbecause the the the only way out
of there was like through a longtail boat or a jungle jeep and
couldn't access either becausethe the weather was so bad.
There was like um the jungle wasmuddy, the the the the
mountainside was muddy, thewaters were rough, the long tail
boats couldn't get, couldn'teven get in.
(05:11):
Um, I was stuck.
And so I had to spend the nighton this cabin that was on a
boulder, um, right on the sideof the right, like right on the
edge of the coast, like right onthe coastline.
Like that was like theshoreline.
And so the waves were justcrashing right up against this
boulder all night long.
Um, and there I was in the dark,no Wi-Fi, because I couldn't get
(05:34):
a signal, waves crashing on therock.
Every time the waves hit therock, that cabin would just
shake and shutter.
It was like, it was like therewas something exploding beneath
the cabin every time one ofthose waves crashed up against
the rock.
And, you know, before I knew it,you know, first I was scared,
right?
Scared as like so scared thanI'd ever been my entire life, I
(05:57):
think.
Then I got really emotional.
Um, I started crying.
I didn't know what I was cryingabout.
Like all these just memoriesjust kind of came flooding back
to me.
Next thing you know, I'm filledwith so much rage.
I'm screaming and I can't evenhear myself because the
thundering crash of the waves isso loud.
I'm literally like completelycamouflaged.
(06:20):
So nobody can hear me.
I can't even hear me at thispoint.
I'm screaming at the top of mylungs.
I really couldn't tell that Iwas screaming, like from what I
was hearing, because the thecrash of the wave was so hard.
Um, the only way I really knew Iwas screaming is because I woke
up the next morning and Iliterally had no voice.
I was screaming so hard.
Um, so you know, a lot of rage,a lot of rage, a lot of anger, a
(06:43):
lot of resentment came to thesurface that night.
Um, and I did sit with a lot ofit and I did kind of just allow
the feelings to come up and justmove through me and just process
them.
Like there, there was so much Ithink I had I had stored
probably like for my like sinceI was little.
I was an expert at suppressingmy emotions.
(07:05):
And so many of us, I think, whoare people pleasers struggle
with that.
And what I think we need toremember is that that's where
our truth, a lot of our truthcomes from.
That's where a lot of our powercomes from to speak our truth,
to set boundaries, to to ask forwhat we want and be really clear
and assertive.
So so much of our power comesfrom that.
(07:27):
So much of our truth comes fromthat, and so much of our
magnetism actually comes fromthat.
And I think that's where I thinka lot of the times we've gotten
it wrong.
Um, there is a powerful sourceof energy that comes from moving
through your anger and your rageand your resentment that you've
been holding on to.
And we're gonna talk more aboutthat in episodes to come.
But um, in that cabin thatnight, that's really where my
(07:50):
practice for emotional alchemywas born.
And that's where I learned toreally just talk to my emotion
like another part of me, um, andreally start to look at why
they're there and what it isthat they're trying to teach me,
which has become a reallypowerful practice for me.
I've, you know, I've been veryfaithful with my morning
practice practice.
(08:11):
Um, I'm not gonna say every daybecause there's been times where
I felt like, you know what, Ineed a break from you for a
little bit, but it didn't lastvery long.
Like I've been pretty muchreligiously doing my practice
for um, and I realize I justcontradicted myself by saying
pretty much religiously, butlet's just say I've been fairly
consistent with doing mypractice.
(08:32):
Um I'd say almost for the last15 years, 10 to 15 years, it's
been 10 for sure minimum.
Um maybe like more accurately 12to 13 years.
And by saying mostly consistent,what mostly consistent means is
literally doing it every morningthat I how can I how do I put
(08:58):
how do I quantify this?
There is very few mornings inthat period where I didn't do my
morning practice.
There are some mornings likewhere my my day started really
early and you know just didn'thave enough time or I woke up
late.
I make exceptions on those days,but they're very far and few
between.
Um, I'm the kind of person whereif I need to be somewhere at six
or if I need to start gettingready at six, I will get up at
(09:20):
five to do my morning practice.
If that's what it means for meto isolate some time to be with
myself, I will do that.
Now, there are times, like Isaid, where I just start
ridiculously early, likeespecially if I'm with my
parents and having to take careof them, or if they're in
hospital, or if they're unwelland that's taken precedent, then
you know I may not do it onthose days, or if I'm just
really tired and I really justneed to sleep in, I will let
(09:42):
myself sleep in.
But for the most part, I willwake up an hour before I have to
start getting ready and do mymorning practice.
There's only been there's oddfew days here and there where I
don't do it, to be honest.
Most there are most weeks I doit every day.
Put it that way.
Most weeks I do it seven days aweek.
Occasionally I will let myselfoff the hook.
And there have been a fewperiods where I had to take a
(10:04):
step back from it for like aweek or two and say, okay, you
know what?
I think I need to just pause.
And I think I just need to umshift my energy.
Maybe it was because I needed toum, you know, discover a new
morning practice.
I've told you guys so many, likeI've got so many tools in my
tickle trunk of morning practicetools and techniques.
(10:24):
Um, and every now and then Ineed to shift it.
You know, I need to shift thevisualization next time.
I need to shift the journaling,I need to shift the
affirmations.
Like the focus is different,things have changed, I've
evolved.
Like, you know, sometimes I needto time to reset to ground to
see where I'm at and and kind offigure out what's next, right?
So, and sometimes I just need abreak, right?
(10:45):
Sometimes I just need to,sometimes I need a personal
development detox.
And I think personal developmentdetoxes are actually really
healthy to do, especially ifyou're somebody who's really
passionate about your ownpersonal development.
So take it or leave it.
That's my advice to you today.
Um, but you know, going back tothis experience, right, where I
(11:07):
kind of, you know, this is wheremy practice for emotional
alchemy really began.
And this is where my practicefor really um using my emotions
and learning from them andconversing with them and trying
to, you know, uh be more curiousabout why they're there, as
opposed to either ignoring them,denying them, pretending they
(11:29):
don't exist, um, camouflagingthem, pretending to be or feel
something that I don't, youknow, all these little things,
all these little techniques thatwe use to avoid what's really
going on internally, is reallyjust or judging ourselves
harshly for them and thinkingthat we're bad people for having
these feelings, or you know, um,just really just getting curious
(11:51):
and sitting down and being opento whatever wants to come
forward, you know, that has beena part of my daily practice um
most of through most of thatjourney, through most of that
that period of of you know doinga consistent morning practice.
Um that has probably been theone tool that I almost never
(12:16):
exclude.
It's almost like the foundation,right?
Um have I excluded it from time?
Yeah, sometimes.
Sometimes I just feel like, youknow what?
Again, maybe I need an emotionalalchemy detail.
Maybe I've done enough emotionallike excavating for now.
I maybe I just need a break,right?
(12:37):
And and I give that to myselfagain.
But for the most part, that hasbeen probably one of the most
consistent tools that I lean onhas been um this tool where I I,
you know, and and I'm gonnashare some of the prompts with
you in later um episodes, butthis tool for just just having
really candid and open andhonest conversation with the
emotions that are coming upbecause again, every emotion is
(13:00):
trying to heal you, is trying toteach you, is here to guide you,
is here to transform you, and ishere to help you evolve as a
spiritual being.
Um, and so I think it's really,really, really important that um
that we remain open to that.
Now, rage specifically, right?
Um, you know, I healed a lot ofmy rage last night, that that
(13:22):
night, last night, that night.
Um, but the rage did come upagain in 2024 when my caregiving
responsibilities with my parentsreally amped up after my mom had
her fall.
Um, and um, you know, things gotreally intense really, really,
really quickly.
And what I noticed was, andthere was also some other things
(13:43):
going on in my life with my withmy career and and my work at the
time.
I had lost my job, I had gottenanother job, but it wasn't, it
was, it was, it was just it wasa filler, right?
It was a filler because I wasworking on the podcast and I was
working on the business, I wastaking care of my mom.
Like there were so many thingsgoing on.
My energy was just spread in somany different directions that I
(14:04):
needed to just find something umeasy that can kind of just I
could just kind of slot it intomy life kind of effortlessly,
um, just to give me a little bitof cushion, right?
And I, you know, I was just sounhappy with what I was, you
know, doing.
Um, there were so many thingsthat were triggering anger in
me.
There were so many things thatwere triggering um all this like
(14:29):
trapped and suppressed emotionin me.
And I remember being in aWalmart one day, and you know,
um, you know, my mom wasstruggling, my dad was acting
up, somebody bumped me with ashopping cart, you know, and all
of a sudden I needed to walkinto another aisle where there
where there was nobody there andjust like just let myself
(14:51):
breathe because I felt so muchanger coming up all of a sudden
that I literally wanted to startscreaming in the middle of a
store.
Um, and so, you know, knowingwhat I know and knowing what I
do and knowing what I've, youknow, I experienced everything.
And I and it's funny becausewhen I was going through that, I
remembered that night on therock.
And I said, okay, you know what?
(15:11):
I think it's time to take a lookat this again.
And so I did.
And, you know, this whole lastyear, like this was this was
actually probably, I'm coming upprobably on the anniversary
right now, because it wasprobably around October,
November of last year.
Um what this did for me over thelast year as I started to look
at this, is I started to look atrage more closely, and I started
(15:32):
to look at I I really started toget intimate with it.
Um, and what I found out aboutrage through this process, and
again, like I'm not apsychologist, like I can't give
you like the psychologicalexplanation for our definition
of rage.
I really couldn't.
Um I you know, I know, you know,there's anger, there's
(15:52):
resentment, there's rage.
To me, they're all one in thesame family, or at least they
have been for me, and they havebeen for a lot of the women that
I've worked with.
Because when we work together,like if you've ever worked with
me, you'll know this.
You know, we move throughemotions and layers, right?
And we start to unpack andunravel and you know, kind of
set you free from all theseemotions that have been kind of
(16:13):
stuck and lingering beneath thesurface and creating basically
shit you don't want, right?
So with rage, and you know,again, my clients are typically
women, typically peoplepleasers.
So maybe it's something specificto that, right?
Um, but typically what I findis, you know, the anger comes
first, right?
(16:34):
So something happens and itmakes us angry.
A boundary gets crossed.
Um, you know, we're we're feltstifled in some way, we're felt
repressed, uh suppressed, um,oppressed in some way.
Um, someone lets us down.
We we put our effort, we giveand we give and we give, and we
(16:56):
don't get what we're expectingin return.
And that could, that could stem,like that could be with so many
things, right?
Like that can be relationships,that could be career, that can
be business, right?
Like anything that you'repouring your energy into that
you thought was gonna like payoff for you that in the end
didn't, that can make you angry.
Um, an unmet need or desire, youknow, whatever it is, there's
(17:18):
this moment where you feelanger, right?
And what happens is oftentimesif we're a people pleaser, oh,
but anger's bad.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonnaignore that.
I'm gonna ignore that.
I'm gonna think happy thoughts,I'm gonna think positive, I'm
(17:39):
going to try again, differentenergy, you know.
It it was a moment, it passed,it's done, it's not gonna happen
again.
That person's not gonna, youknow, cross that boundary again.
Um you know, maybe, maybe youtry to in a passive grow passive
aggressive way let them knowthat you were upset.
Think they got the hint, theydidn't.
(18:00):
Um and um, you know, you justkind of you know, try to sweep
it under the rug.
Then it happens again.
Um and so we do the same thing.
We ignore it, sweep it under therug, um, and happens again and
again and again, and we keepsweeping it up, uh sweeping it
(18:24):
under the rug until this theanger, the anger that became
rage is now built up so much itnow, or sorry, resentment built
builds resentment, jumpingahead, builds like this
resentment over and over andover again until it boils over
so much that it becomes pureuninhibited rage.
(18:46):
And now suppressing that hasbecome a chore in itself, right?
Um, so you know, let's let'sdissect that, right?
So when the moment happens,initially happens, there's
there, you know, when you getangry, when the boundaries
cross, when you're disappointed,when you're let down, um, you
(19:07):
know, whatever they can the casemay be, know that there is a
message in that for you, right?
Like, yeah, there's a part ofyou that's just angry and
projecting at the other personand blaming them for what you
experience, and I and that'snormal.
And we all do that, butunderneath all of that, that
anger has a message for you.
Okay, it has a message for youabout where you need to uphold
(19:32):
your boundaries, where you needto speak more clearly, where you
need to be able to ask for whatyou want.
And if if you're not gettingwhat you want, then you need to,
you know, you maybe you need toyou need to to to redirect or or
make make a different decision,take a different course of
action, right?
Um and so, but we ignore that,right?
(19:56):
Because we don't actually payattention to the anger.
We just try to sweep it underthe rug and assume it's not
going to happen again.
Next time we'll be better, nexttime we'll be easier, next time
they'll get it, they don't.
It happens again, we sweep itunder the rug again.
Because ultimately, and I don'tknow, I mean, obviously we're
afraid.
Obviously, there's a part of us,and I believe it's the I believe
the ego is afraid for us toreally understand what the
(20:19):
message of that anger is,because then we have to act on
it, right?
And that scares the crap out ofthe ego because the ego just
wants to keep you safe, right?
That it is hardwired to keep youon the safe and narrow, right?
And so listening to that angerand paying attention to it might
actually make you do somethingthat's really uncomfortable or
(20:39):
make you realize you need to dosomething that might be really
uncomfortable for you becauseit's going to bring you one step
closer to your power and yourpotential, right?
And that scares the crap out ofthe ego every time.
Um, so we try to avoid theanger.
We avoid the anger again andagain.
And every time it happens, weget more angry and then it
becomes resentment, and then itbecomes rage.
And when it becomes rage, it'sthis accumulation of anger and
(21:03):
resentment that we have felt foryears that now is just ready to
explode on the next innocentbystander at the grocery store
who bumps you with a grocerycart.
Guilty.
Um but what's interesting iswhenever I've dissected this,
and it's funny, I've I've seenit in my clients, and I and I
(21:25):
started to see it in myself aswell last year when I started to
really dive into this work.
What I realized in the rage wasthat yes, there was that surface
level part that was projectingonto I'm angry because they took
advantage of me.
I'm angry because they don'trespect my boundaries, I'm angry
but whatever, whatever the casemay be.
(21:48):
Um beneath all of that is anunderlying anger at yourself
because of all the ways you'veself-abandoned to let that
happen.
And that's the part that weoften don't pay attention to
because we have to let that, thethe surface level stuff out
first.
The noise, the the part of youthat's projecting onto everyone
(22:11):
else.
We have to fully let that outbefore we can hear the
underlying message that yoursoul has for you from all of
that rage and turmoil, anger andresentment that you've been
feeling, maybe even frustration,right?
But the problem is we won't letourselves let all that surface
(22:33):
level angle anger and rage out.
So can we can hear the calm,guiding light that comes from
that rage, right?
Or if we do, we do it in theunhealthiest ways, and all we
create is more rage and moreanger and more resentment,
right?
Because we haven't handled itappropriately.
We've either suppressed itcompletely and denied it and
avoided it and and and tried topretend it didn't exist, or
(22:57):
we've projected it onto thepeople that we love most, right?
And created harmful and painfulinteractions both for ourselves
and for the other.
Never really have we learned todeal with our rage and our anger
and our resentment in reallyhealthy, loving ways, both for
loving for ourselves and lovingfor the people around us.
(23:18):
Um and so where we start in theunraveling is letting all that
rage out, right?
So all that stuff that all thatsurface level stuff that's
blaming this person or this jobor that business or this
circumstance for whatever it isthat you're feeling right now is
(23:40):
is letting it all out and reallytuning into what the the deeper
message that that rage has foryou.
And again, you have to bring itback to okay, so I'm right now
I'm rage.
This is where the resentment hasbuilt up.
This was where the initial pointof anger began, and you almost
(24:01):
have to go back to that point,right?
Which is a lot of the work thatwe do together.
But I think that you know thefirst step, the first step in
all of this is in reallylearning to let that rage and
anger, that projection out inhealthy ways.
(24:25):
Now, having said that, there areso many ways that you know you
can start to heal and unpack andmove through all that stored
rage and anger and resentmentthat you've been holding on to,
if that is you.
Um, but the important thing toremember first, you know, before
you even we before you even godown that road, and we're gonna
(24:45):
give you some really, reallycool tips and techniques in this
series to really help you.
But before you even go down thatroad, I just want you to be
present with um, you know, thefact that the rage exists, the
anger exists, the resentmentexists, and it doesn't mean
anything about you.
(25:07):
Rage does not make you a badperson, it doesn't mean you're
not kind, it doesn't mean thatyou're not loving.
Um, it doesn't mean that you'vedone anything wrong, which
oftentimes, you know, thespiritual development or the
personal development communitycan easily make you do.
Um, it's none of that.
It is a normal and healthy partof your human experience.
(25:31):
It is a normal and healthy partof your evolution here as a
spiritual being having a humanexperience.
So um let it just set theintention that you are willing
to see how this anger, thisrage, this resentment might be
supporting you.
Let just be open to the factthat it might be here for your
(25:52):
highest good.
Be open to the fact that it mayhave a very positive purpose and
light to shine in your life andthat you're open and available
to seeing what that is.
And that's really going to makethe biggest difference.
And when we start to, when westart to redefine our
relationship with our emotionalexperience, that is when we
(26:13):
really become powerful asspiritual beings.
The problem is that we've beentaught to shame, to limit, to
avoid, to suppress, to hide somany different emotions because
they're bad or not good or nothealthy or low vibrational or
whatever the fuck we've beentaught.
And it's all a bunch of BS.
That is where our power is, andthat is where our evolution
(26:35):
takes place, and that is wherewe was up, we we evolve into
higher spiritual beings.
So um learn to just be presentwith your emotions and allow
them to be there and make themnot mean anything about who you
are, how good you are, or howloving you are, or how high
vibrational you are.
It is all in how you movethrough them.
(26:58):
That is what defines you as aperson and your vibration.
Okay, so we are gonna talk moreabout this, but until next time,
you guys, massive love.
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