What if the very thing draining your energy isn’t what you’re doing—but who you’re being in each space?
In this special ASMR channeled message and healing activation, I’m speaking directly to the woman who’s learned to shape-shift her way through life. The high-performing perfectionist. The good daughter. The over-giving friend. The supportive partner. The reliable coworker. The woman who’s mastered the art of compartmentalizing her identity to fit in, be liked, and avoid conflict—until the exhaustion becomes impossible to ignore.
If you’ve ever felt like pie—split into different pieces, each version of you tailored to someone else's comfort—this episode is your wake-up call and your medicine.
Inside, I share a channeled message that poured through with raw honesty and intuitive clarity:
🎤 Why compartmentalizing your true self is a form of energetic self-abandonment
🎤 How constantly shifting personas disconnects you from your soul and makes authentic relationships impossible
🎤 A powerful visualization to call back all the scattered parts of you into one centered, integrated whole
🎤 Why discomfort is a necessary part of healing—and how to lean into it instead of running from it
🎤 The surprising truth about magnetism and why your fullest expression is the key to being truly seen, chosen, and loved
This isn’t your typical episode of The Femme Cast—this is an energetic healing and a spiritual transmission. I recorded it intuitively, late at night, without filters or overproduction. Just presence. Truth. Activation.
Whether you’re brand new here or you’ve been part of my world since the OG Facebook group days, consider this a sacred invitation to remember the version of you who never had to beg to be loved, chosen, or enough.
It's time to stop managing personas and start embodying your full power.
Tune in. Close your eyes. Breathe. Receive.
This message found you for a reason.
Are you healing from cheating? Betrayal? A heartbreak that not only broke your heart but broke your life?
If so, join me for She Rises: A FREE & LIVE 90-minute healing and activation experience for the woman ready to alchemize the pain of lies, betrayal, and being cheated on into unapologetic power, radiant confidence, and the woman she was always meant to be.
Betrayal doesn’t get the final word — you do.
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/masterclass
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up?
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so excited and gratefulthat you're here.
We are going to do something alittle different today.
I'm a little nervous doing this, I'm not gonna lie, so I don't
know if we'll do this again.
We'll see if it even works.
We'll see if it even goes liveon the Femcast.
(00:21):
But for those of you who areOGss, who have been with me for
a while, um, and you rememberthe Facebook group that we had
way back in the day um, one ofthe things that we used to
always do in there on a regularbasis was channeled readings and
um, channeled readings issomething that I continue to do,
um, for my private clients andalso for myself.
(00:42):
I, I, you know, I channel amessage for myself pretty much
every morning and a half foryears.
How I do that has evolved overtime.
I don't use a lot of divinationtools anymore.
Sometimes, or very lightly, Idon't rely on them as heavily as
I used to.
I guess is probably the bestway to put it.
I still use them quite a bit,but most of my divination or my
(01:04):
intuiting or channeling comesthrough.
You know just what I'm pickingup on intuitively and just with
what I write.
A lot of journaling, a lot of alot of insight comes through
for me with journaling.
So we're going to try that heretoday and see how it goes.
I'm going to try and put insome nice soothing, healing
(01:25):
music in the background to.
I'm going to try and put insome nice soothing, healing
music in the background to kindof, you know, fill in some of
the quiet spots so that they'renot too awkward and drawn out.
And I do apologize, I tried towait as late as I could to do
this video so I could have anice quiet background.
And it is quite late, butunfortunately I still have
(01:46):
motorcycles going by at like 10o'clock on a Sunday night.
So we'll do our best.
Hopefully the motorcyclesaren't too disruptive, but it is
what it is.
So let's just set the intention.
Let's just set the intentionthat you know this reading finds
you when it needs to and itfinds whoever that it needs to.
And I always set the intentionthat my readings be timeless and
(02:09):
that whenever you find themexact is the exact right time
that you need to hear them.
And you know, just setting theintention that anyone listening,
and to yourself and to anyoneelse, that you, you know,
receive the messages and theguidance that you need to hear
most today, that you get someassistance and support and
moving through and creatinghealing and transformation in
the direction of you know,feeling a sense of empowerment
(02:34):
and confidence in who you areand what you deserve.
In your relationships, you know,always coming back to that idea
and not idea, but intention ofreally helping you to remember
the version of you, or reclaimthe version of you that never
(02:56):
had to beg to be chosen andnever had to beg to be loved,
and just remembering that thatis your truth and that is who
you are, and that everythingthat you've been taught
otherwise is a is a condition,is a is a conditioning and a
belief, um, that, um, we're hereto help you move through and
break, so that you can come backinto reclaiming that version of
(03:19):
you, that really pure,authentic version of you that
knew she was always loved, shewas always chosen and she was
always worthy.
So, with that, let's see what'scoming in.
So I, you know, as I wasalready talking, I'm already
seeing a circle.
I'm seeing a circle and italmost looks like a pie, looks
like a pie chart, which is weirdbecause I don't know why I
(03:40):
would see thatcompartmentalizing.
Maybe is that like, maybeyou're compartmentalizing parts
of yourself, compartmentalizing.
I feel like you're whoever thisis for.
I feel like you're.
You have these differentversions of yourself.
(04:01):
You have the version ofyourself that you take to work.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
work.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your partner.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your friends.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your family and I feel likethey're they're very different
and you're managing thesedifferent parts and I'm
literally seeing somebodyplaying with them, as though
they're like building blocks,and constantly moving them and
(04:23):
shifting them and adjusting themand trying to get them to fit
into places and then strugglingto make certain pieces fit.
So I feel like you're spendinga lot.
I I feel like okay, so I, rightaway, I just feel like I need
to tell you because I feel likeI need a breath, so I want to
tell you to just take a deepbreath in, in.
So remember, just keepremembering to breathe and
(04:48):
centering in the belief that whoyou are is enough and that you
do not need to create thesedifferent versions of yourself,
for all these differentenvironments, to create, um, to
compartmentalize your essence inthis way so that you're
palatable to this group and thento this group, and in that
(05:09):
environment, in this environment, there is an invitation for you
and it's getting exhausted.
The person that I'm speaking toright now is getting exhausted
from doing this.
You're literally to the pointof exhaustion and it's, it's,
you're, you.
You just want to notnecessarily throw up the puzzle,
(05:32):
um, or the compartmentalizing,really, but you're just it's.
It's building up as frustration, it's building up as resistance
, it's draining your energy upas resistance, it's draining
your energy, um, it's making you, I guess, I guess what.
I guess the best way to put itis it's almost making you think
twice about showing up in theseplaces, like you almost don't
(05:55):
want to go certain placesbecause you know it requires you
to bring on an authentic or orto to bring a compartment
section, a pie piece of yourselfthat is not representative of
your full essence, and it'sbecoming exhausting and it's
becoming depleting.
It's way too much work, thisthing that we do, and many of us
(06:18):
do it, and I know I did thisfor years.
I had a version of myself that Iwould show my friends, and I
had a version of myself that Iwould show my friends.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my boss.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my co workers.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my family.
And then, you know, I had aversion of myself that I would
show whoever I was dating, or mypartner or whatever, and it
(06:40):
became exhausting.
It became exhausting and italso became very damaging to my
relationships.
It made it impossible for me toreally create authentic
relationships that I felt safearound, and that really comes
back to not feeling safe withbeing yourself, right.
(07:03):
So?
So there's a real, there's areal fear there that being
yourself in some way, in someway shape or form, going to get
you in trouble or going tocreate turmoil or or conflict
for you.
And so what you're doing?
You're doing this right now andit's completely out of survival
, um, because it's it's a way ofself protecting.
(07:27):
But it's getting impossible foryou, um, to keep
compartmentalizing yourself likethis and picking and choosing
which pieces are going to showup, when and where.
It's too much.
You can't hit, like,spiritually, you can't handle it
anymore.
Mentally you can, butspiritually, your, your soul, is
just saying no more, it doesn'twant to do this anymore, and
(07:48):
you feel that and you're almosttrying to ignore it.
Um, the invitation for you isand what I'm hearing is let the
pieces fall where they may,right.
So, letting go of thecompartmentalizing and leaning
into the discomfort of being amore authentic version of you,
(08:09):
wherever you go.
And this is going to feelreally uncomfortable at first,
especially if you know there'ssome sort of fear there that if
you're yourself and you'reauthentic and you truly allow
yourself to be yourself and tobe seen, you and you truly allow
yourself to be yourself and tobe seen, there's this fear that
you know that you're not goingto be enough or you're going to
(08:29):
be judged or, um, it's going tobe uncomfortable for some people
, or some people you know mightnot take it um, in in in a
positive way.
But understanding that you knowa lot of that comes from our
own perception of like, how wefeel that we're not enough.
So we feel like we have to like, create these, like different
(08:50):
personas to take with us to allthese different places so that
we can kind of mask our own notenoughness, but really at the,
at the, at the base of what itis, it it truly is rooted in our
own not enough.
Now, that's not to say that youknow, of course you're going to
be slightly different at workthan you are with family.
(09:13):
Um, you know, maybe there arecertain things that you know you
leave.
You leave behind, like I mightnot cuss with my family the way
I do when I'm with my friends,right, or I might not cuss at
work, um, the way that I do whenI'm with my friends, right, or
I might not cause that work theway that I do when I'm with my
friends, and and that's totallynormal.
But when you're completelyaltering your personality, like,
and I'm seeing like alteringyour tone on, altering the way
(09:34):
that you talk, altering yourstyle of communication, altering
your ideas, your beliefs and,and and you know, you know what
you, what you stand for and andand what you really truly
believe in your heart space,like those are things that
should be the same no matterwhere you find yourself.
(09:55):
And you know, whenever we tryto mask or shrink those parts of
ourselves, we and this isliterally what I was talking
about in today's episode when Irecorded it or the episode that
I recorded today it's notnecessarily today's episode is.
It takes so much of our energyand bandwidth to hide these
(10:16):
parts of ourselves.
And it's also the biggest formof self rejection and
abandonment, because we'rebasically saying that this part
of us is not good enough to bein the room right now, so we're
just going to, like, you know,pack it away and put it in
another compartment and justpull the pieces that we think
will fit in nicely.
Right, so it's.
It's literally, and this startsto hurt us.
(10:36):
It starts to hurt usemotionally and starts to create
belief systems that we aren'tgood enough and that we can't
bring our full selves to the, tothe conversation or to the
table or to the room, um, and itmakes us feel, um, almost like
this fear.
I feel like there's this fearthat you're like, you feel like
(10:57):
a fraud, you feel like, um animposter, you feel like, oh god,
what if they ever found outwhat my other parts were like?
And it truly isn't like that.
And I know sometimes, you know,especially with work, we can
feel that way.
It can feel like we can't bringour whole self um to our
workplace, um, but this is whatactually sets apart.
(11:23):
You know, if you can, if youfind the courage to truly be
yourself and truly let yourselfbe seen.
This is what's going to reallyset you apart from other people,
because people start to see you, people start to see your magic
, people start to see your gifts, people start to see that
essence of you that actuallyleaves a mark on them, and when
(11:43):
you're hiding that, you're notleaving that mark, you're not
creating that impression.
You're not, you're not buildingthat intimate connection with
people because you're holding somuch of yourself back.
And so what ends up happeningand this is kind of what I've
been doing with the channelingand holding this part back is
that I've been sharing it withpeople and people haven't been
seeing it.
And so you know I've been sureI've been hiding this big part
(12:07):
of myself and missing out onthis opportunity to connect with
you guys on a totally differentlevel that many of you might
have not even had the like.
You might have not even knownthat this is something that I do
right.
That might not if you've notbeen following me for that long,
you might not have known that.
You know this is something thatwe used to do all the time and
(12:30):
that I do on the regular.
And so you know this is anexample of exactly what we're
talking about.
Right, it's about allowing allthese beautiful parts of you,
whether they're messy, whetherthey're imperfect, whether you
think they're unpolished,whether you're not sure if
they're going to fit in or howpeople are going to receive it
or how they're going to respond,or you know people are going to
(12:53):
take offense to certain things.
You know you kind of just haveto bring as much of you to the
table as you possibly can inevery circumstance and
environment that you findyourself in.
And this is going to be reallyuncomfortable at first, but I
challenge you every day to bringa little bit more of yourself.
(13:13):
And again, you know, going backto the point I made earlier,
there are going to be certainaspects of you that you cannot
bring to every environment, andI think that's okay, like in
moderation, little things hereand there.
But when we're talking aboutyour essence, of who you are,
your personality, what you'reall about, what you stand for,
what you believe in, what you'repassionate about, you have to
(13:34):
find ways to weave all of thatin, no matter where you find
yourself um, you know, even atwork sometimes, you know, like I
mean, like, just to give youguys an example um, you know,
when I was working in mycorporate job, my corporate job
was very, you know um logical itwas.
(13:56):
You know, um, it was basicallylike project management.
It was a lot of budgets, it wasa lot of spreadsheets, it was a
lot of tracking.
You know, it was all all of theall of the what is it?
The left brain things that youknow I typically now try to
avoid.
However, you know, I knew thatthere was, I was good at it.
(14:17):
It wasn't that I wasn't good atit, I was very good at it.
But also I had this other sideto me that was really passionate
about, you know, diversity inthe workplace, this other part
of me that was really passionateabout creating a supportive
learning environment wherepeople could really expand their
skills and feel supported intheir roles, could really expand
(14:39):
their skills and feel supportedin in their roles.
And so what ended up happeningwas I started to get involved in
projects that supported thesethings, or put my hand up to
volunteer for projects thatsupported these things, or made
recommendations for ideas thatmight support these things.
So you can find ways to bringall of you into all of the
environments you're in and, youknow, let yourself be fully seen
(15:02):
, even if it's uncomfortable forsome people, even if some
people don't always resonatewith it or, you know, maybe kind
of they might be put off by ita little bit.
That's okay.
It's okay Because what's goingto end up happening over time
you're going to really see itbecomes magnetic.
This is really the key tomagnetism.
The key to being magnetic isbeing able to bring all of you
(15:25):
to the forefront so that peoplecan see you.
If you're only bringing pieces,people don't see you.
So when you start to bring allof you to the forefront and let
people truly see you for who youare, that's when you start to
magnetize the connections thatyou're really going to resonate
with the people, that you'regoing to feel a kin soul
(15:47):
connection to the relationshipsthat are going to feel like next
level soulmates, the careersthat are going to be completely
aligned, um, the people lookingat you to say, hey, we see your
gifts, we see your talents, wewant to promote you, we want to
move you forward, we want to,you know, take you to that next
level.
That's what really sets youapart, and that's the part that
(16:09):
so many of us are holding backbecause we're so busy trying to
fit into compartments and who wethink people want us to be
versus and this is such a peoplepleaser thing um showing up as
who we think people want us tobe in order to be happy, versus
showing up as our full self andtrusting that the people that
(16:30):
are going to be happy, um beingin our company are going to
naturally gravitate to us andfind us when we do those things.
So if you are the person whoI'm seeing with that circle pie
little puzzle pieces, who'scompartmentalizing how you show
(16:52):
up in all the different areasand relationships in your life
and it's just getting too hardto manage, you're actually
forgetting which hard to manage.
You're actually forgetting whoyou're supposed to, which part
of you you're supposed to bring,where and when.
It's what it feels like.
It just feels like you'relosing you're.
You're almost like, you'realmost forgetting which role to
play, you're forgetting yourlines.
It I'm literally remembering um,if you remember that movie, um
(17:16):
with katherine heigl 27 dresseswhen she was going to like the
different, like weddings as abridesmaid and she was going
from one wedding to the next andthen she would go to the next
wedding and then she would getto forget to change her outfit
or she still had the shoes onfrom the previous wedding.
And you know, she was kind oflike she was trying to be in all
the places and and fit all thethe roles and all the
environments and and and do allthe roles and all the things,
(17:39):
but what's happening is that shewas constantly changing from
one role to the next, to thenext, to the next.
Um that she was, she was losingsight of what she was supposed
to be wearing and when and thecostume changes and so forth and
so forth, right.
So, um, I'm literally seeingthat right now, and I think you
know whoever's listening to this, whoever needed to hear this um
(18:01):
, it's okay to stop, it's okayto stop.
And I just want you you know,when you get that urge that you
feel like you need to like,figure out which person, which
version of you, to bring to thisnext conversation, to this next
interaction, to this nextenvironment.
You know, I just, really justwant you to take a breath and
really center into yourself,really ground into yourself,
(18:23):
into who you are, and I want youto imagine bringing all of
these parts back into you.
Just take a deep breath andimagine bringing all these parts
in, all these differentversions, all these different
roles you've been playing, allthese different hats you've been
wearing.
I want you to imagine bringingthem all in, bringing them
internally, feeling them centerin your body, and just keep
taking a breath until you feelas though you're in your body.
(18:46):
Because when we start tocompartmentalize ourselves like
that, we actually it's almostlike we're having an out of body
and our essence is going intothese different compartments.
Okay, so we need to break, weneed to pattern, disrupt and
pull our energy back internaland bring it back within.
And we do that by taking abreath, feeling ourselves
(19:06):
centered in our body, imaginingall these pieces and all these
blocks and all these littlepieces of pie of ourselves
coming back into center, feelingwhole.
Coming back into center,feeling whole.
Feeling the wholeness of who weare, feeling the wholeness of
our essence and every littlequirky, intricate part of
(19:27):
ourselves that makes us who weare and that makes us unique.
Imagine that all coming backcentered into you, all of it
coming back online.
And then I want you to just setan intention, wherever it is
that you're walking into next.
That has you tripping a littlebit as to you know who or how
you should show up.
I just want you to set theintention that you're going to
(19:47):
show up as your full and wholeself and then just get a visual,
a quick visual of like how tobest do that Right.
Maybe it's bringing an ideaforward that you wouldn't have
normally brought forward.
Maybe it's sharing a piece ofyourself, a piece of your story,
um, that you maybe wouldn'thave never shared before, um,
(20:11):
you know, maybe it's sharing um,a dream, a goal, um something,
some random thought that you hadthat was wildly entertaining,
that you know.
Maybe you're afraid to tellpeople because you think people
are going to judge you, but youtell them anyway.
You know, it's these littlequirky things that make people
feel really special to be aroundus.
(20:33):
And I think that when we givepeople the opportunity to do
that, to really see us for whowe are and to really connect
with us on that really intimatelevel, we have the ability to
forge some really powerful,really connected soul level
(20:53):
relationships.
And I think that's probably oneof the things that you know if
you're struggling with thesepieces of the pie and these
compartments of yourself andwhich ones to bring in.
When you are feeling veryscattered, you're feeling very
outside of your body, almost alittle bit dysregulated, and
you're probably feeling likeyou're engaging with everyone
(21:16):
and you're interacting witheveryone but you're not
connecting with anyone, and thatis not a good feeling.
And when you feel that lack ofconnection, that is your first
clue that you're not bringingyour full self into the
experience.
So your first challenge is toagain get centered.
Bring all those parts ofyourself back online, back to
(21:38):
center, back within.
Right.
Imagine all these parts of youkind of within you, all at the
same time, simultaneously, nomore chopping yourself up into
bits and pieces.
Right.
Bring all these beautiful partsof you online and centered
within you and then decide fromthat wholeness your intention
(21:58):
for how you want to show up ateach and every moment.
This is how I want to show up inmy workplace today as my
fullest and best self.
This is how I want to show upwith my family today, in my
fullest and most authentic self.
This is how I want to show upwith my friends today, in my
fullest and most authentic selfand really setting the intention
(22:20):
of what that looks like and youknow, just trusting that as you
take little steps at a time,it'll get easier each and every
time and it'll be uncomfortableat first and you know you're
it's going to feel it's going toprobably bring up a little bit
of anxiety for you and that's OKand it's probably.
(22:42):
You're probably going to saysome really awkward things at
first and do some awkward things, and that's okay too.
That's fine, it's okay to bemessy, it's okay to kind of
screw it up, it's okay to kindof fumble your way through this.
But when you haven't givenyourself the permission to
really be fully yourself and toreally let yourself be fully
seen and be fully present, youknow it can feel like you're
standing in Times Square nakedthe first few times.
So it's going to feel a littleawkward but it's okay.
(23:04):
So just remember and we can dothat right now as an exercise I
want you to get familiar withthis practice.
I just want you to take a deepbreath.
If you can, if you're not inyour car right now, if you're
not driving or operating heavymachinery, if you can just kind
of close your eyes, I just wantyou to take a deep breath and I
(23:24):
want you to imagine pulling allof your energy inward and I want
you to imagine all these parts,all these different parts of
yourself the part that you showyour friends, the part that you
show your family, the part thatyou show your husband, the part
that you show your kids, thepart that you show your mom,
your dad, your boss, yourcoworkers.
I want you to imagine all theseparts of yourself coming inward
and into you, so that you'reall one big beautiful being.
(23:47):
And wherever you're going tonext after listening to this
podcast, wherever you're goingto next, whether it's work,
whether it's family, whetherit's home, whatever it is, I
want you to set an intention for, from this place of wholeness
where all of you is together andcentered in your body, I want
you to get a visual right nowfor how you want to show up.
(24:09):
What do you, what part of youdo you want to share, what part
of you are you ready to let beseen in that environment, and
how are you ready to share it?
And just just trust that thiswill unfold and you might not
have an answer right away, um,but an answer will come and it
will get easier and you'll startto get more and more I um
clarity of what it looks like tobring your whole self into each
(24:33):
and every situation.
So, um, maybe we'll do somemore content around this idea
this month, um, but hopefullythis lands well and um,
hopefully you got some of thistoday, and this because this is
a first that I've done this.
I really would love to hear somefeedback, so leave comments
wherever you're listening tothis and let me know if this
resonated, if this landed foryou, um, what you liked, what
(24:56):
you didn't, um.
You can also email me at umMaria at the femcoachcom, um,
and let me know there as well,or you can also DM me on
Instagram.
I am always on Instagram.
I love to hear from you guys on.
Some of you have alreadystarted messaging me, which I
love, um, so please, please,please, at any time, go to the
femcast on Instagram, um, andyou can send me a DM there.
(25:16):
Okay, you guys.
So that is.
Hey you guys, what is up?
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so excited and gratefulthat you're here.
We are going to do something alittle different today.
I'm a little nervous doing this, I'm not gonna lie, so I don't
know if we'll do this again.
We'll see if it even works.
We'll see if it even goes liveon the Femcast.
(00:21):
But for those of you who areOGss, who have been with me for
a while, um, and you rememberthe Facebook group that we had
way back in the day um, one ofthe things that we used to
always do in there on a regularbasis was channeled readings and
um, channeled readings issomething that I continue to do,
um, for my private clients andalso for myself.
(00:42):
I, I, you know, I channel amessage for myself pretty much
every morning and a half foryears.
How I do that has evolved overtime.
I don't use a lot of divinationtools anymore.
Sometimes, or very lightly, Idon't rely on them as heavily as
I used to.
I guess is probably the bestway to put it.
I still use them quite a bit,but most of my divination or my
(01:04):
intuiting or channeling comesthrough.
You know just what I'm pickingup on intuitively and just with
what I write.
A lot of journaling, a lot of alot of insight comes through
for me with journaling.
So we're going to try that heretoday and see how it goes.
I'm going to try and put insome nice soothing, healing
(01:25):
music in the background to.
I'm going to try and put insome nice soothing, healing
music in the background to kindof, you know, fill in some of
the quiet spots so that they'renot too awkward and drawn out.
And I do apologize, I tried towait as late as I could to do
this video so I could have anice quiet background.
And it is quite late, butunfortunately I still have
(01:46):
motorcycles going by at like 10o'clock on a Sunday night.
So we'll do our best.
Hopefully the motorcyclesaren't too disruptive, but it is
what it is.
So let's just set the intention.
Let's just set the intentionthat you know this reading finds
you when it needs to and itfinds whoever that it needs to.
And I always set the intentionthat my readings be timeless and
(02:09):
that whenever you find themexact is the exact right time
that you need to hear them.
And you know, just setting theintention that anyone listening,
and to yourself and to anyoneelse, that you, you know,
receive the messages and theguidance that you need to hear
most today, that you get someassistance and support and
moving through and creatinghealing and transformation in
the direction of you know,feeling a sense of empowerment
(02:34):
and confidence in who you areand what you deserve.
In your relationships, you know,always coming back to that idea
and not idea, but intention ofreally helping you to remember
the version of you, or reclaimthe version of you that never
(02:56):
had to beg to be chosen andnever had to beg to be loved,
and just remembering that thatis your truth and that is who
you are, and that everythingthat you've been taught
otherwise is a is a condition,is a is a conditioning and a
belief, um, that, um, we're hereto help you move through and
break, so that you can come backinto reclaiming that version of
(03:19):
you, that really pure,authentic version of you that
knew she was always loved, shewas always chosen and she was
always worthy.
So, with that, let's see what'scoming in.
So I, you know, as I wasalready talking, I'm already
seeing a circle.
I'm seeing a circle and italmost looks like a pie, looks
like a pie chart, which is weirdbecause I don't know why I
(03:40):
would see thatcompartmentalizing.
Maybe is that like, maybeyou're compartmentalizing parts
of yourself, compartmentalizing.
I feel like you're whoever thisis for.
I feel like you're.
You have these differentversions of yourself.
(04:01):
You have the version ofyourself that you take to work.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
work.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your partner.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your friends.
You have the version ofyourself that you present to
your family and I feel likethey're they're very different
and you're managing thesedifferent parts and I'm
literally seeing somebodyplaying with them, as though
they're like building blocks,and constantly moving them and
(04:23):
shifting them and adjusting themand trying to get them to fit
into places and then strugglingto make certain pieces fit.
So I feel like you're spendinga lot.
I I feel like okay, so I, rightaway, I just feel like I need
to tell you because I feel likeI need a breath, so I want to
tell you to just take a deepbreath in, in.
So remember, just keepremembering to breathe and
(04:48):
centering in the belief that whoyou are is enough and that you
do not need to create thesedifferent versions of yourself,
for all these differentenvironments, to create, um, to
compartmentalize your essence inthis way so that you're
palatable to this group and thento this group, and in that
(05:09):
environment, in this environment, there is an invitation for you
and it's getting exhausted.
The person that I'm speaking toright now is getting exhausted
from doing this.
You're literally to the pointof exhaustion and it's, it's,
you're, you.
You just want to notnecessarily throw up the puzzle,
(05:32):
um, or the compartmentalizing,really, but you're just it's.
It's building up as frustration, it's building up as resistance
, it's draining your energy upas resistance, it's draining
your energy, um, it's making you, I guess, I guess what.
I guess the best way to put itis it's almost making you think
twice about showing up in theseplaces, like you almost don't
(05:55):
want to go certain placesbecause you know it requires you
to bring on an authentic or orto to bring a compartment
section, a pie piece of yourselfthat is not representative of
your full essence, and it'sbecoming exhausting and it's
becoming depleting.
It's way too much work, thisthing that we do, and many of us
(06:18):
do it, and I know I did thisfor years.
I had a version of myself that Iwould show my friends, and I
had a version of myself that Iwould show my friends.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my boss.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my co workers.
And I had a version of myselfthat I would show my family.
And then, you know, I had aversion of myself that I would
show whoever I was dating, or mypartner or whatever, and it
(06:40):
became exhausting.
It became exhausting and italso became very damaging to my
relationships.
It made it impossible for me toreally create authentic
relationships that I felt safearound, and that really comes
back to not feeling safe withbeing yourself, right.
(07:03):
So?
So there's a real, there's areal fear there that being
yourself in some way, in someway shape or form, going to get
you in trouble or going tocreate turmoil or or conflict
for you.
And so what you're doing?
You're doing this right now andit's completely out of survival
, um, because it's it's a way ofself protecting.
(07:27):
But it's getting impossible foryou, um, to keep
compartmentalizing yourself likethis and picking and choosing
which pieces are going to showup, when and where.
It's too much.
You can't hit, like,spiritually, you can't handle it
anymore.
Mentally you can, butspiritually, your, your soul, is
just saying no more, it doesn'twant to do this anymore, and
(07:48):
you feel that and you're almosttrying to ignore it.
Um, the invitation for you isand what I'm hearing is let the
pieces fall where they may,right.
So, letting go of thecompartmentalizing and leaning
into the discomfort of being amore authentic version of you,
(08:09):
wherever you go.
And this is going to feelreally uncomfortable at first,
especially if you know there'ssome sort of fear there that if
you're yourself and you'reauthentic and you truly allow
yourself to be yourself and tobe seen, you and you truly allow
yourself to be yourself and tobe seen, there's this fear that
you know that you're not goingto be enough or you're going to
(08:29):
be judged or, um, it's going tobe uncomfortable for some people
, or some people you know mightnot take it um, in in in a
positive way.
But understanding that you knowa lot of that comes from our
own perception of like, how wefeel that we're not enough.
So we feel like we have to like, create these, like different
(08:50):
personas to take with us to allthese different places so that
we can kind of mask our own notenoughness, but really at the,
at the, at the base of what itis, it it truly is rooted in our
own not enough.
Now, that's not to say that youknow, of course you're going to
be slightly different at workthan you are with family.
(09:13):
Um, you know, maybe there arecertain things that you know you
leave.
You leave behind, like I mightnot cuss with my family the way
I do when I'm with my friends,right, or I might not cuss at
work, um, the way that I do whenI'm with my friends, right, or
I might not cause that work theway that I do when I'm with my
friends, and and that's totallynormal.
But when you're completelyaltering your personality, like,
and I'm seeing like alteringyour tone on, altering the way
(09:34):
that you talk, altering yourstyle of communication, altering
your ideas, your beliefs and,and and you know, you know what
you, what you stand for and andand what you really truly
believe in your heart space,like those are things that
should be the same no matterwhere you find yourself.
(09:55):
And you know, whenever we tryto mask or shrink those parts of
ourselves, we and this isliterally what I was talking
about in today's episode when Irecorded it or the episode that
I recorded today it's notnecessarily today's episode is.
It takes so much of our energyand bandwidth to hide these
(10:16):
parts of ourselves.
And it's also the biggest formof self rejection and
abandonment, because we'rebasically saying that this part
of us is not good enough to bein the room right now, so we're
just going to, like, you know,pack it away and put it in
another compartment and justpull the pieces that we think
will fit in nicely.
Right, so it's.
It's literally, and this startsto hurt us.
(10:36):
It starts to hurt usemotionally and starts to create
belief systems that we aren'tgood enough and that we can't
bring our full selves to the, tothe conversation or to the
table or to the room, um, and itmakes us feel, um, almost like
this fear.
I feel like there's this fearthat you're like, you feel like
(10:57):
a fraud, you feel like, um animposter, you feel like, oh god,
what if they ever found outwhat my other parts were like?
And it truly isn't like that.
And I know sometimes, you know,especially with work, we can
feel that way.
It can feel like we can't bringour whole self um to our
workplace, um, but this is whatactually sets apart.
(11:23):
You know, if you can, if youfind the courage to truly be
yourself and truly let yourselfbe seen.
This is what's going to reallyset you apart from other people,
because people start to see you, people start to see your magic
, people start to see your gifts, people start to see that
essence of you that actuallyleaves a mark on them, and when
(11:43):
you're hiding that, you're notleaving that mark, you're not
creating that impression.
You're not, you're not buildingthat intimate connection with
people because you're holding somuch of yourself back.
And so what ends up happeningand this is kind of what I've
been doing with the channelingand holding this part back is
that I've been sharing it withpeople and people haven't been
seeing it.
And so you know I've been sureI've been hiding this big part
(12:07):
of myself and missing out onthis opportunity to connect with
you guys on a totally differentlevel that many of you might
have not even had the like.
You might have not even knownthat this is something that I do
right.
That might not if you've notbeen following me for that long,
you might not have known that.
You know this is something thatwe used to do all the time and
(12:30):
that I do on the regular.
And so you know this is anexample of exactly what we're
talking about.
Right, it's about allowing allthese beautiful parts of you,
whether they're messy, whetherthey're imperfect, whether you
think they're unpolished,whether you're not sure if
they're going to fit in or howpeople are going to receive it
or how they're going to respond,or you know people are going to
(12:53):
take offense to certain things.
You know you kind of just haveto bring as much of you to the
table as you possibly can inevery circumstance and
environment that you findyourself in.
And this is going to be reallyuncomfortable at first, but I
challenge you every day to bringa little bit more of yourself.
(13:13):
And again, you know, going backto the point I made earlier,
there are going to be certainaspects of you that you cannot
bring to every environment, andI think that's okay, like in
moderation, little things hereand there.
But when we're talking aboutyour essence, of who you are,
your personality, what you'reall about, what you stand for,
what you believe in, what you'repassionate about, you have to
(13:34):
find ways to weave all of thatin, no matter where you find
yourself um, you know, even atwork sometimes, you know, like I
mean, like, just to give youguys an example um, you know,
when I was working in mycorporate job, my corporate job
was very, you know um logical itwas.
(13:56):
You know, um, it was basicallylike project management.
It was a lot of budgets, it wasa lot of spreadsheets, it was a
lot of tracking.
You know, it was all all of theall of the what is it?
The left brain things that youknow I typically now try to
avoid.
However, you know, I knew thatthere was, I was good at it.
(14:17):
It wasn't that I wasn't good atit, I was very good at it.
But also I had this other sideto me that was really passionate
about, you know, diversity inthe workplace, this other part
of me that was really passionateabout creating a supportive
learning environment wherepeople could really expand their
skills and feel supported intheir roles, could really expand
(14:39):
their skills and feel supportedin in their roles.
And so what ended up happeningwas I started to get involved in
projects that supported thesethings, or put my hand up to
volunteer for projects thatsupported these things, or made
recommendations for ideas thatmight support these things.
So you can find ways to bringall of you into all of the
environments you're in and, youknow, let yourself be fully seen
(15:02):
, even if it's uncomfortable forsome people, even if some
people don't always resonatewith it or, you know, maybe kind
of they might be put off by ita little bit.
That's okay.
It's okay Because what's goingto end up happening over time
you're going to really see itbecomes magnetic.
This is really the key tomagnetism.
The key to being magnetic isbeing able to bring all of you
(15:25):
to the forefront so that peoplecan see you.
If you're only bringing pieces,people don't see you.
So when you start to bring allof you to the forefront and let
people truly see you for who youare, that's when you start to
magnetize the connections thatyou're really going to resonate
with the people, that you'regoing to feel a kin soul
(15:47):
connection to the relationshipsthat are going to feel like next
level soulmates, the careersthat are going to be completely
aligned, um, the people lookingat you to say, hey, we see your
gifts, we see your talents, wewant to promote you, we want to
move you forward, we want to,you know, take you to that next
level.
That's what really sets youapart, and that's the part that
(16:09):
so many of us are holding backbecause we're so busy trying to
fit into compartments and who wethink people want us to be
versus and this is such a peoplepleaser thing um showing up as
who we think people want us tobe in order to be happy, versus
showing up as our full self andtrusting that the people that
(16:30):
are going to be happy, um beingin our company are going to
naturally gravitate to us andfind us when we do those things.
So if you are the person whoI'm seeing with that circle pie
little puzzle pieces, who'scompartmentalizing how you show
(16:52):
up in all the different areasand relationships in your life
and it's just getting too hardto manage, you're actually
forgetting which hard to manage.
You're actually forgetting whoyou're supposed to, which part
of you you're supposed to bring,where and when.
It's what it feels like.
It just feels like you'relosing you're.
You're almost like, you'realmost forgetting which role to
play, you're forgetting yourlines.
It I'm literally remembering um,if you remember that movie, um
(17:16):
with katherine heigl 27 dresseswhen she was going to like the
different, like weddings as abridesmaid and she was going
from one wedding to the next andthen she would go to the next
wedding and then she would getto forget to change her outfit
or she still had the shoes onfrom the previous wedding.
And you know, she was kind oflike she was trying to be in all
the places and and fit all thethe roles and all the
environments and and and do allthe roles and all the things,
(17:39):
but what's happening is that shewas constantly changing from
one role to the next, to thenext, to the next.
Um that she was, she was losingsight of what she was supposed
to be wearing and when and thecostume changes and so forth and
so forth, right.
So, um, I'm literally seeingthat right now, and I think you
know whoever's listening to this, whoever needed to hear this um
(18:01):
, it's okay to stop, it's okayto stop.
And I just want you you know,when you get that urge that you
feel like you need to like,figure out which person, which
version of you, to bring to thisnext conversation, to this next
interaction, to this nextenvironment.
You know, I just, really justwant you to take a breath and
really center into yourself,really ground into yourself,
(18:23):
into who you are, and I want youto imagine bringing all of
these parts back into you.
Just take a deep breath andimagine bringing all these parts
in, all these differentversions, all these different
roles you've been playing, allthese different hats you've been
wearing.
I want you to imagine bringingthem all in, bringing them
internally, feeling them centerin your body, and just keep
taking a breath until you feelas though you're in your body.
(18:46):
Because when we start tocompartmentalize ourselves like
that, we actually it's almostlike we're having an out of body
and our essence is going intothese different compartments.
Okay, so we need to break, weneed to pattern, disrupt and
pull our energy back internaland bring it back within.
And we do that by taking abreath, feeling ourselves
(19:06):
centered in our body, imaginingall these pieces and all these
blocks and all these littlepieces of pie of ourselves
coming back into center, feelingwhole.
Coming back into center,feeling whole.
Feeling the wholeness of who weare, feeling the wholeness of
our essence and every littlequirky, intricate part of
(19:27):
ourselves that makes us who weare and that makes us unique.
Imagine that all coming backcentered into you, all of it
coming back online.
And then I want you to just setan intention, wherever it is
that you're walking into next.
That has you tripping a littlebit as to you know who or how
you should show up.
I just want you to set theintention that you're going to
(19:47):
show up as your full and wholeself and then just get a visual,
a quick visual of like how tobest do that Right.
Maybe it's bringing an ideaforward that you wouldn't have
normally brought forward.
Maybe it's sharing a piece ofyourself, a piece of your story,
um, that you maybe wouldn'thave never shared before, um,
(20:11):
you know, maybe it's sharing um,a dream, a goal, um something,
some random thought that you hadthat was wildly entertaining,
that you know.
Maybe you're afraid to tellpeople because you think people
are going to judge you, but youtell them anyway.
You know, it's these littlequirky things that make people
feel really special to be aroundus.
(20:33):
And I think that when we givepeople the opportunity to do
that, to really see us for whowe are and to really connect
with us on that really intimatelevel, we have the ability to
forge some really powerful,really connected soul level
(20:53):
relationships.
And I think that's probably oneof the things that you know if
you're struggling with thesepieces of the pie and these
compartments of yourself andwhich ones to bring in.
When you are feeling veryscattered, you're feeling very
outside of your body, almost alittle bit dysregulated, and
you're probably feeling likeyou're engaging with everyone
(21:16):
and you're interacting witheveryone but you're not
connecting with anyone, and thatis not a good feeling.
And when you feel that lack ofconnection, that is your first
clue that you're not bringingyour full self into the
experience.
So your first challenge is toagain get centered.
Bring all those parts ofyourself back online, back to
(21:38):
center, back within.
Right.
Imagine all these parts of youkind of within you, all at the
same time, simultaneously, nomore chopping yourself up into
bits and pieces.
Right.
Bring all these beautiful partsof you online and centered
within you and then decide fromthat wholeness your intention
(21:58):
for how you want to show up ateach and every moment.
This is how I want to show up inmy workplace today as my
fullest and best self.
This is how I want to show upwith my family today, in my
fullest and most authentic self.
This is how I want to show upwith my friends today, in my
fullest and most authentic selfand really setting the intention
(22:20):
of what that looks like and youknow, just trusting that as you
take little steps at a time,it'll get easier each and every
time and it'll be uncomfortableat first and you know you're
it's going to feel it's going toprobably bring up a little bit
of anxiety for you and that's OKand it's probably.
(22:42):
You're probably going to saysome really awkward things at
first and do some awkward things, and that's okay too.
That's fine, it's okay to bemessy, it's okay to kind of
screw it up, it's okay to kindof fumble your way through this.
But when you haven't givenyourself the permission to
really be fully yourself and toreally let yourself be fully
seen and be fully present, youknow it can feel like you're
standing in Times Square nakedthe first few times.
So it's going to feel a littleawkward but it's okay.
(23:04):
So just remember and we can dothat right now as an exercise I
want you to get familiar withthis practice.
I just want you to take a deepbreath.
If you can, if you're not inyour car right now, if you're
not driving or operating heavymachinery, if you can just kind
of close your eyes, I just wantyou to take a deep breath and I
(23:24):
want you to imagine pulling allof your energy inward and I want
you to imagine all these parts,all these different parts of
yourself the part that you showyour friends, the part that you
show your family, the part thatyou show your husband, the part
that you show your kids, thepart that you show your mom,
your dad, your boss, yourcoworkers.
I want you to imagine all theseparts of yourself coming inward
and into you, so that you'reall one big beautiful being.
(23:47):
And wherever you're going tonext after listening to this
podcast, wherever you're goingto next, whether it's work,
whether it's family, whetherit's home, whatever it is, I
want you to set an intention for, from this place of wholeness
where all of you is together andcentered in your body, I want
you to get a visual right nowfor how you want to show up.
(24:09):
What do you, what part of youdo you want to share, what part
of you are you ready to let beseen in that environment, and
how are you ready to share it?
And just just trust that thiswill unfold and you might not
have an answer right away, um,but an answer will come and it
will get easier and you'll startto get more and more I um
clarity of what it looks like tobring your whole self into each
(24:33):
and every situation.
So, um, maybe we'll do somemore content around this idea
this month, um, but hopefullythis lands well and um,
hopefully you got some of thistoday, and this because this is
a first that I've done this.
I really would love to hear somefeedback, so leave comments
wherever you're listening tothis and let me know if this
resonated, if this landed foryou, um, what you liked, what
(24:56):
you didn't, um.
You can also email me at umMaria at the femcoachcom, um,
and let me know there as well,or you can also DM me on
Instagram.
I am always on Instagram.
I love to hear from you guys on.
Some of you have alreadystarted messaging me, which I
love, um, so please, please,please, at any time, go to the
femcast on Instagram, um, andyou can send me a DM there.
(25:16):
Okay, you guys.
So that is.
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