July 24, 2025 • 36 mins
What if the version of you who was betrayed wasn’t broken — but being rebuilt?
In Day 4 of The Betrayal Series, we're confronting the haunting question so many women ask after betrayal…
“Who am I without him?”
And deeper still…
“Can I ever get back to the confident, radiant woman I used to be when I met him?”
But what if the goal isn’t to go back?
What if she — the woman you were before the heartbreak — attracted that very relationship for a reason?
In this raw and radically honest episode of The Femme Cast, I pull back the curtain on my own experience of losing myself in a relationship, abandoning my dreams, silencing my intuition, and performing just to keep love — only to realize that the true betrayal wasn’t just his... it was my own.
We’ll dive deep into:
🎤 Why trying to "go back" to the woman you were is an injustice to who you're becoming
🎤 The subtle ways we betray ourselves long before anyone else does
🎤 How to use heartbreak as a portal to your next-level identity
🎤 What it means to reclaim your passions, your power, and your real self
🎤 How to stop performing and start aligning — in your relationships, your career, and your everyday life
This episode is a wake-up call. A mirror. A reclamation.
It’s a reminder that the pain wasn’t punishment — it was purpose.
Because you didn’t go through all of this just to stay the same.
You went through it to evolve into the woman you were always meant to be.
🎧Let this episode be your sacred permission slip to stop trying to fit into old versions of yourself — and instead, allow the truest version of you to rise.
If this episode cracked something open in you, share it with a sister who needs this truth, and leave a review so this message can reach more women who are ready to rise.
PS: Stop begging to be chosen. Choose yourself instead.
In case no one told you today, you’re not here to beg, chase, or perform for the bare minimum. You’re here to reclaim your power and become magnetic to real, soul-aligned love, success, and abundance.
Reclaim the version of you that never had to beg to be chosen.
Book your 90-minute Sacred Reclamation Intensive here:
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/products/intensive
But fair warning—authentic connections, aligned opportunities, and breakthroughs in love, money, and purpose are inevitable.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
Today is day four of theRadical Reclamation series here
at the Femcast, and it is who amI, even without him?
Right?
It is all about reclaiming thewoman you lost before the
relationship and embracing thewoman that you're becoming on
(00:21):
the other side of it right Onthe other side of the betrayal,
the cheating, the lying, themanipulation, right?
Who are you now on the otherside of all that?
And I think it's reallyimportant to have this
conversation because I think forme, like you know, I can
remember a very distinct womanat a moment and I've heard so
many women say the same thing isI just wish I could go back to
(00:42):
the woman I was before, theconfident woman, the radiant
woman, the woman who felt likeshe was on top of the world when
this relationship came into herlife.
And it came in like a whirlwindand it swept you off your feet
and you finally started tobelieve this was your happily
ever after.
And then shit hit the fan,right?
(01:03):
We all want to go back to thatversion that felt confident,
that felt radiant, that feltcompletely unstoppable and that
felt like, when thisrelationship came into her
experience that she had finallyfound the one, like, why
wouldn't you want to feel thatagain?
You know, and I've heard somany women say that, you know, I
(01:23):
just want to go back to the oneI was before all this shit
happened.
But it's almost like.
It's almost like we're saying,I just want to go back to the
undamaged version of myself.
Right, like some, likeunconsciously, that's what I
think we're saying I want to goback to the version I was before
all this pain, before all thesadness, before all the stuff
(01:43):
that I have going on, all thisinsecurity, all this
self-loathing that I'mexperiencing as a result of
having gone through thisexperience.
And I get it.
I get it, I totally do.
And I think that when we movethrough these experiences,
they're so painful, but you know, you have to remember that
because they're so painful,they're also wildly
transformative.
(02:04):
Right, you did not go throughthis experience for nothing.
You did not go through thispain, this heartbreak, this
betrayal, this manipulation forno reason at all.
It was not in vain, it was veryintentional and it was part of
your journey so that you couldevolve into the woman that you
are becoming.
Okay, and I really want you tolet that sink in, because you
(02:40):
know again, if you turned yourback on yourself, your goals,
your ambitions, everything thatyou needed and wanted for your
life, and made this relationshipthe central focus, only to have
it betray you and manipulateyou and let you down in the end,
you know you get to take thatback now.
You know you get.
You get a redo, you get theredo.
So what are you going to dodifferently?
(03:04):
And who are you on the otherside, right?
So the other side, right.
So you know, for me this was aslow and steady evolution over
time.
There was parts of you know Ialways say you know, honor who
you are at every stage in yourlife, because who you are always
leads to the next stage you'regoing to go into, or the next
(03:25):
version, or the next evolutionof you, right, and I think that
you know when we look back onyou know who we were in the
relationship before therelationship, right.
What did we love about who wewere?
What were we excited about?
What were our dreams, what wereour goals, what were our
(03:45):
ambitions at the time, right,and what did we let fall by the
wayside?
I think that's really important, right, but I think what's also
really important to mention orto acknowledge is how centrally
focused this relationship becamefor us, like how this
(04:06):
relationship took center stage,first priority, and suddenly
everything that was important toyou and everything that
mattered to you and everythingthat you wanted to achieve for
you now took a backseat or wason the back burner because of
this relationship.
Right, and I think that's areally important lesson.
I mean, maybe that wasn't yourstory, it certainly was mine.
Right, that was my story.
(04:27):
You know, I put everything onhold and put it on the back
burner to give this relationshipevery chance that it had to
thrive.
And I did that very consciously, right, very consciously, like
I made that decision veryconsciously.
I made that decision veryconsciously and my biggest
lesson in all this is really tonever do that again.
(04:50):
And that's not to say that Iwill never compromise in a
relationship.
I think all healthyrelationships require compromise
, but I think I can pick andchoose what compromises I make
and which ones I don't, and Idon't believe that my
relationships need to takecentral focus going forward.
You know, I believe that I cannurture the relationship any
relationships that I'm in andmyself simultaneously, you know,
(05:13):
and give space and investmentin both.
You know, I don't think it needsto be one or the other, but I
think that you know recognizingand spending time meditating on
who you were before therelationship, right, what
(05:34):
lessons did you learn from therelationship?
What was the relationshiptrying to teach you?
What did you learn aboutyourself?
What were the harder lessons ithelped you learn, or patterns
it helped you to break Beliefsthat you held, that you've
shifted as a result, and howdoes all of this inform who you
(05:56):
are becoming now?
You know, and again you know,going back to yesterday when we
talked about burning it all downand starting from a blank slate
, you know what if you, thewoman, are a blank slate right
now, you know how can you piecetogether all these beautiful
parts of yourself to become whoyou are now without him?
Because I think you know somuch, so many of us, when we get
(06:18):
involved in, you know, aserious relationship that we
think is going to stand the testof time, we kind of become or I
did, I became this.
You know this other half of thisrelationship, right, I think I
did lose part of my not all, notall, like I still kept some of
(06:39):
my interests and you know, Ikept my values.
But values, um, but in terms ofhow I made my decisions, did my
values govern my decisions?
No, they did not.
Did my passions and interestsgovern a lot of my decisions?
Nope, they did not.
His did or not his, but ours,the relationship, it kind of
became its own entity, right, um?
(07:02):
And so, you know, looking backto who I was before, what I
learned doing and who I wasbecoming, which is a very
different person than who I wasbefore in the relationship, you
know, it's like trying to piecea jigsaw puzzle together.
It literally is Um, and that'swhy I say this is a gradual and
(07:23):
a gentle unfolding.
This is not a process that youcan rush or, you know, apply a
formula to and have it all finda figured out and fall into
place.
It doesn't work that way.
It is a gradual unfolding and Ithink what it comes, what it
starts with, is who am I really?
(07:44):
Who was I before I met thisperson?
Who was I when I was with thisperson?
What did I like about when Iwas with this person?
What didn't I like when I waswith this person, and who do I
want to be now going forward?
Right, and I think that you knowit's not about changing your
personality, that's not it.
It's.
You know your personality.
(08:06):
You should always stay true towho you are, stay true to your
values and stay true to whatmatters to you.
But in terms of how you identifyyourself, right, I think this
is a really importantconversation because, you know,
maybe before you met this person, you know you identified
(08:26):
yourself as a empowered andconfident woman.
You know out in in, you know,moving in her career, making,
making, making moves in hercareer to move up, to advance
herself.
Um, you know.
And then maybe in therelationship, you kind of lost
sight of that.
But maybe that wasn't theauthentic version of you either,
(08:47):
right, maybe you learned a fewthings along the way and maybe
now you know you want to leaninto a different identity of who
you are.
You get to decide who you are inthis life.
You get to decide what valuesmatter to you.
You get to decide what beliefsyou want to carry with you.
(09:10):
And I think that you know, whenwe get into these relationships
, it's so easy to let our valuesand our beliefs and our
lifestyle and who we think weshould be be influenced by
either this person or what itlooks like or what we've been
taught about what it is to be ina relationship with any person,
(09:31):
really, especially if it's likea long-term relationship, right
?
So I think that we get tore-engineer all of that and
finally ask ourselves well,knowing what I know, knowing
what I've been through andknowing, you know, who I was
before I met this person andwhat I learned about myself and
(09:52):
my life and who I want to bewhile I was with this person is
how do I string that alltogether now and allow myself to
just unfold as the woman thatI'm becoming?
What felt aligned in my body,what felt like it was really and
truly me, what felt forced thatI was trying to live up to, or
(10:16):
what felt like performing, whatfelt fake?
You know, like I can remember,you know, showing up to certain
meetings in the office, and Iremember showing up to these
events and you know we had theselike corporate events and
webinars and things where youknow we would, you know, be face
to face with the leadershipteam.
(10:36):
And I can remember, like youknow, you know always having to
bring your A game to theseevents, right, and I can
remember, like, just theconversations and the way I
showed up and the way Ipresented myself, always feeling
so forced and feeling like Ihad to, like, like I was
constantly performing, and thesewould be like three, four day
events.
So it would be so exhaustingwhen I came home because I felt
(10:59):
like I was performing from themoment I woke up to the moment I
went to bed although the bedswere really comfortable in these
hotels, let me tell you, and soyou know, like it was
exhausting.
It was exhausting because itfelt like a 24 fucking hour
performance.
So that's kind of how you know,when you're not in a line, when
you feel like you're constantlyneeding to perform or be
something other than you're not,what would it look like to
(11:21):
truly and just really beyourself and relax into who you
are meant to be, right?
What would that look like?
How would people respond?
Right and does it matter?
Right, like I know, like youknow, we always have to like.
You know you always have toplay the game a little bit at
work, and that's the unfortunatetruth about you know, being in
a nine to five is oftentimes orany hours really, when you're in
(11:45):
a workplace and with otherpeople.
You know there's obviouslycertain things we can and can't
do and say and can't say.
But it should never be.
It should never feel like youhave to be a completely
different person at work fromthe person that you are at home
right, and when you have that,there's an incongruency
happening.
And when you feel most yourself,where do you feel most
(12:14):
empowered?
Where do you feel mostconfident?
For me, it's always been thispodcast, right?
This has always been my channelfor really being myself and
allowing my voice to, to flex myvoice, to flex my intuition, to
flex, um, you know, sharing mybeliefs and my and my intentions
(12:39):
with the world, right, um, thishas always been my, my go-to
right.
What does that look like foryou?
Like, where do you feel yourbest?
Where do you feel the mostconfident?
What makes you feel lit up fromthe inside out?
Right, pay attention to thosethings and allow more of that
(12:59):
side of your personality to kindof flow into all areas of life.
You know, we get into this trap, like I mentioned before, of
like being a different person atwork and being a different
person at home, or being adifferent person with these
friends versus those friends,being a different person at home
or being a different personwith these friends versus those
friends.
What does it look like to stopcompartmentalizing who you are
and actually show up as the sameversion of you in all
(13:21):
environments?
Okay, again, slight tweaks ifyou're going to work, you know,
you know, maybe you can't swearlike a truck driver in the
office, like I do on thispodcast, and I get that right,
you know, but you know to a verysubtle degree, right, should
there be adjustments being made,you should never feel, you know
(13:47):
, you have to feel like you haveto be somebody that is
completely inauthentic and notyourself, to be in that
environment.
Either number one it's a beliefthat you've made up about
yourself that you need to bethat way or number one it's a
belief that you've made up aboutyourself that you need to be
that way or number two it reallyisn't the environment for you.
You know, and what you need todo is actually think about, well
, what environments do I thrivein and what would feel aligned
for me?
Right, because you should neverfeel like you're being an
(14:08):
authentic.
I can remember, like I said, theversion of me, you know, before
this relationship came in, whowas confident and just, you know
, radiant and just feeling soempowered in the world, you know
, and how I kind of put all mydreams, goals and ambitions on
(14:30):
the back burner so I can makethis relationship a central
focus.
And then, you know, beingintroduced to all these new
people you know his new friends,community and whatnot and
feeling like I had to be thisvery, very inauthentic version
of myself to believe in thingsthat I didn't believe in, to
(14:56):
adopt customs and traditions andhabits and routines that never
felt right for me, and it almostfelt not that they were forced
upon me, because I don't believewe're ever forced to do
anything.
I believe I forced them on mebecause I was trying to fit in
again to people, please, right,and to be you know who I felt
(15:17):
like I needed to be for therelationship to thrive.
There was nothing internallyfocused about who I was becoming
in that relationship, nothing,and I think that was like the
biggest mistake that I had madenext to not trusting myself, and
I think that's where thebetrayal comes in, and I think
(15:37):
that's why these relationshipsalways act as such powerful
mirrors.
It's like not again, not to saythat you made this person cheat
on you.
You know, cheating is a decision, or manipulation, or lying or
whatever is a decision that thisperson made to do, an action
they decided to take that theydidn't have to do, you know,
(15:58):
they could have communicated,they could have addressed the
issues, they could haveexpressed how misaligned or
unvalued or unseen or whateverthat they were feeling, but they
chose not to and they chose togo that path, and that is their
choice.
But they chose not to and theychose to go that path, and that
is their choice.
But is there a part of you thatmaybe, just maybe, betrayed
(16:21):
yourself a little, betrayedyourself, your dreams, your
goals, your ambitions?
And this relationship was thewake-up call that you needed to
say hey, stop it.
Like I'm flicking my video,stop it.
Is there a part of you that youknow would have wanted
something different for you,that would have made different
(16:44):
choices, different decisions,taken different actions or paths
in life had it not been forthis relationship?
And I think those are theimportant decisions that we need
to ask ourselves, and I thinkthat you know, like I said in
the beginning, to go back to theversion of you that you were
before this happened is such aninjustice to who you are and to
(17:05):
your journey, because number one, that's the person who
attracted this person in thefirst place.
So why did you want to go backto her?
That's number one.
Number two you went throughthis for a reason, and that was
to evolve spiritually and toexpand and to learn.
You know, learn lessons andintegrate them into your
(17:27):
experience so that you can stepinto a more empowered version of
yourself, so you can experiencemore healthy, loving
relationships, so that you canalign with greater opportunities
and purpose in your life.
And going back and reverting tothe woman that you were before
you met this person, that issuch a disservice to you and
(17:48):
everything that you've beenthrough.
Don't let this be in vain.
Recognize.
This happened for a reason.
It was not a coincidence thatyou went through this
relationship.
It was trying to transform andevolve you on a deep cellular
level, and that's why it had tobe so painful, otherwise it
would not have done that.
(18:09):
And so, on the other side ofwhatever this experience was,
have done that, and so, on theother side of whatever this
experience was, you need torecalibrate to the woman that
you are becoming today, and thatmeans taking the woman along
who you know you were before,taking the lessons you learned
while you were in thatexperience and rolling them all
up and deciding and opening tothe possibility of discovering
(18:33):
who it is.
You want to be moving forwardand allowing that to be revealed
to you each and every day, alittle bit at a time, until you
finally have some picture of whoit is that you're becoming.
Because I can tell you rightnow you've gone through an
experience like this.
You're meant to experience abigger life.
(18:53):
You're meant to experience adifferent life.
This did not happen for nothing.
You didn't have the rug pulledout from under you for no reason
.
It's because you're meant to besomewhere else.
You're meant to expressyourself in different ways.
You're meant to just live adifferent life than maybe you've
(19:15):
given yourself permission toeven consider.
So I want you to take thisexperience as the catalyst,
right.
So, if you can see the betrayalor the lies or the manipulation
, if you can see it as acatalyst, a powerful catalyst
that is taking you from thewoman you once were to the woman
(19:38):
that you are becoming and youcan choose to look at it that
way, and I choose to see this asa catalyst and I choose to see
this as a portal to deep andlasting transformation what is
this experience trying to teachme, and how might it inform who
(19:59):
I'm becoming and how might itgive me clues as to who I'm
becoming and how can I gentlylet that unfold and trust that
everything will be revealed tome in divine timing?
It is a spiritual journey.
You are on a spiritual path.
This was not random.
You're going through a powerfulevolution, so please treat it
(20:21):
that way, honor it.
It wasn't about this person.
It wasn't about you not beinggood enough.
It wasn't about she was hotterthan you and so he slept with
her, and you know all of thosethings that go through your head
.
I can remember I could not.
When I first found out, I couldnot stop obsessing, day in and
(20:42):
day out, when I slept, when Iate, when I worked, when I went
to the bathroom, when I showered.
All I could think about was howhe maybe preferred like, how he
preferred her.
He obviously must havepreferred her to me, or he
wouldn't have been doing this.
Maybe the sex was better, maybeshe gave him more pleasure than
I ever could.
Did they talk about me?
(21:04):
Did they laugh about me?
Did they make fun of like howshitty I actually was while they
were together?
Because I know she knew aboutme.
I know she knew about me.
So you know like it wouldplague me so much.
And you know, in hindsight, youknow, coming out of that
(21:26):
experience and coming out.
And you know, in hindsight, youknow, coming out of that
experience and coming out.
And you know, you know, nowbeing able to see it as this,
this powerful evolution thatthis was was in finally learning
and accepting that that thatyou know, it showed me how low
self-worth I had and how, allthe ways I didn't feel good
(21:49):
enough because that is where Idefaulted immediately when this
happened.
I wasn't good enough.
He didn't choose me, he choseto be with somebody else.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't he love me?
You know, all these things thatkind of run through your mind,
right things that kind of runthrough your mind, right?
So it showed me these beliefsthat I have ingrained in me that
(22:11):
I needed to basically workthrough and say no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
This had nothing to do with me.
If this was this something,something was up and and, and
you know, somebody wasn'tfeeling like they were getting
what they wanted out of theconnection and they, they felt
like, you know, they werestarting to get the urge to go
(22:32):
elsewhere.
A healthy partner would havehad the conversation, would have
said hey, listen, I think weneed to address some things here
, you know, here's where I'mfeeling like the relationship is
lacking.
Here's where I'm feeling likeI'm not being seen or getting
the intimacy or the connectionthat I'm looking for, instead of
going that other route.
So, and I think that some youknow, and one big realization,
(22:54):
core realization that I had, wasthis was never about me, this
was always about him.
Not you know, but the fact thathe couldn't come to me and
couldn't tell me and couldn'town up to it and couldn't, you
know, be honest about what hewas feeling and what he was
going through and the decisionsthat he was making and the
actions that he you know, all ofit, you know, is is is just
(23:17):
compounded evidence thatobviously he didn't feel
comfortable enough with himselfto be honest with me about what
he was going through.
Obviously, in some way, shapeor form, he was ashamed to tell
me what he had done.
He was ashamed to really talkto me about what he was feeling
or what he was thinking.
And that's on him, you know,because I gave him every
(23:39):
opportunity to talk to me.
I gave him every opportunityfor us to work through it
together.
That did not happen.
What happened was a lot ofgaslighting and manipulating and
you know, in the end, you know,I finally realized, you know,
the power this event had to showme where I had abandoned myself
and betrayed myself and mygoals, my dreams and my
(24:02):
ambitions.
And my default response toautomatically assume that it's
something wrong with me,something that I've done wrong
somewhere where I wasn't goodenough.
And that's where this becamethe catalyst for the work that I
do.
And so, if I had not gonethrough this experience, I never
would have gone to Asia, Inever would have started this
practice, I never would havedone the healing that I did, I
(24:23):
never would have started talkingto you guys about everything
that we talk about on this show.
It was literally the catalystthat brought all of it.
Had that not happened, I wouldprobably still be in that
painfully boring nine to five,you know, and living the same
life and, you know, feelingcompletely unfulfilled and
(24:45):
uninspired.
Would it have been easy?
Maybe, maybe it would have beeneasier, maybe it would have
been harder, I don't know.
You know I've said, I said thisbefore.
You know, certainly a lot of mydecisions that I made on along
the journey weren't the easiestones, but they were the ones
that I could live with and so Imade them and I would make them
(25:07):
again.
You know, because, like I said,they were the ones that I could
live with and so I made themand I would make them again.
You know, because, like I said,they were the decisions that I
could live with and that feltaligned for me.
Yes, I probably could have madesome easier choices, but they
wouldn't have felt right andthey wouldn't have felt aligned
and I made.
Alignment mean more thananything else and you can't do
(25:28):
that if you don't work on thestuff that tells you that you're
not good enough first.
That comes first.
Then you can make decisionsthat align with you and your
values, regardless of how otherpeople are going to respond.
Because when you get to thatpoint and you realize, hey, it
(25:49):
doesn't actually matter, right,how they respond.
What matters is that I make thealigned decision for what I
need and where I'm at and for mywell-being right and for my
wellbeing right and healthy,like I'm talking, healthy
(26:10):
decisions here.
So you know, let that inform thewoman that you are becoming.
Take all of it.
Take the woman you were before,take the woman you were during,
take the lessons she learned,take the experiences that or the
epiphanies that she had, theaha moments you know, reverse
the limiting beliefs she wasstruggling with and bring it all
into and roll it all up toalmost like the starting point
(26:34):
of who you are becoming fromhere on in, and let her reveal
herself to you slowly, onelittle, tiny bit at a time.
Don't try and figure it all outin one day.
You'll never do it.
I promise you that.
What I do know is that she willgive you clues, she will give
you insights, she will give youfeedback immediately when you're
(26:54):
aligned and when you're notaligned, especially if you learn
to listen to your body alongthe way and learn what feels
easeful and relaxed and whatfeels forced and and icky.
Um, that becomes reallyimportant.
Um, you can even give her likean alternate, like a, like an
alter ego, like you can make herlike, make her your Sasha,
fierce right.
(27:15):
Who do you want to step into?
Right and literally almosttreat it as a conversation.
You know every single day howdo you want me to respond to
this or that?
Or how do you want me to showup?
What do you want me to wear?
What decisions should we maketoday?
Like, literally, make it likeshe's like another person in the
(27:36):
room with you and I promise youshe will reveal herself to you
when we work with the futureself in session.
Just to give you a little bit ofinsight oftentimes she's
somebody who she's never reallystanding in front of you.
She's almost kind of like here.
So like, sorry, I'm like, Iknow you can't see me and I'm
(27:57):
using my hands.
She's almost just in front ofand above your forehead, so from
almost like a 30 degree anglefrom your forehead.
Sitting just in front of yourthird eye is usually where, um,
you know when we do the workabout you know tuning into the
future version of yourself, andyou know what actions she wants
you to take and what advice shehas for you in this moment.
(28:18):
That's where people usually seeher.
They usually see her sort of 30degrees from, from her third
eye.
Um, just up ahead, maybe likeabout two feet ahead.
So, just, you know, focus onyour third eye or focus on that
area or focus your intentionthere and see what your future
self might look like.
See, you know what is shewearing, what does her hair look
(28:41):
like and what advice does shehave for you each and every day.
This is a amazing practice.
She will inform you, detail bydetail, who it is that you're
meant to be in this life and howthat's meant to unfold, in a
very healthy and organic andelevated way that will never
(29:03):
feel forced or uncomfortable.
And this is something I stilldo daily, because I believe
we're always unfolding and Ibelieve we're always learning
and we're always elevating andwe're always growing.
So I always tune into the next.
You know my future self, or myhigher self, or you know over
soul, higher soul, whatever youwant to call it as my guide, my
(29:25):
decision maker, because sheknows where I'm going and she
knows the fastest way to get methere.
So it is honestly a superpower.
It's one of my favorite toolsto use in personal development
and I strongly encourage you tostart doing that.
Start bringing those pieces ofyourself, the past pieces, the
pieces that were in therelationship before the
(29:47):
relationship, the lessons thatyou learned, bringing it all to
the table and asking your futureself what the fuck do you want
me to do with all of this now?
Why did I go through this?
Who am I becoming?
How was this informing who I'mbecoming and what is my next
step?
These are the really importantquestions you need to ask this
next level version of you.
Okay, so that about wraps up dayfour.
(30:10):
Tomorrow is the last day.
Day five we're talking abouttrusting yourself and trusting
love again, which was probablyone of the hardest steps in the
process, I think, for me interms of coming back, and
probably took the longest to bequite honest for me in terms of
coming back and probably tookthe longest to be quite honest.
So I'm going to help you,hopefully.
Um, make that maybe collapsethat timeline a little bit.
(30:31):
Make it a little bit quicker.
Um, so that's what we'recovering tomorrow.
Um, that'll be live on thepodcast Same time.
Um, if you love this episode,please leave a positive rating
and review.
I beg you to get this out intothe world so that other women
who have gone through theseexperiences can actually listen
to this and get the support thatthey need.
And don't forget, themasterclass is happening also
(30:54):
next week.
The details for all that are inthe show notes below, so make
sure to sign up for that andthat's it.
Until next time.
You guys massive love.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
Today is day four of theRadical Reclamation series here
at the Femcast, and it is who amI, even without him?
Right?
It is all about reclaiming thewoman you lost before the
relationship and embracing thewoman that you're becoming on
(00:21):
the other side of it right Onthe other side of the betrayal,
the cheating, the lying, themanipulation, right?
Who are you now on the otherside of all that?
And I think it's reallyimportant to have this
conversation because I think forme, like you know, I can
remember a very distinct womanat a moment and I've heard so
many women say the same thing isI just wish I could go back to
(00:42):
the woman I was before, theconfident woman, the radiant
woman, the woman who felt likeshe was on top of the world when
this relationship came into herlife.
And it came in like a whirlwindand it swept you off your feet
and you finally started tobelieve this was your happily
ever after.
And then shit hit the fan,right?
(01:03):
We all want to go back to thatversion that felt confident,
that felt radiant, that feltcompletely unstoppable and that
felt like, when thisrelationship came into her
experience that she had finallyfound the one, like, why
wouldn't you want to feel thatagain?
You know, and I've heard somany women say that, you know, I
(01:23):
just want to go back to the oneI was before all this shit
happened.
But it's almost like.
It's almost like we're saying,I just want to go back to the
undamaged version of myself.
Right, like some, likeunconsciously, that's what I
think we're saying I want to goback to the version I was before
all this pain, before all thesadness, before all the stuff
(01:43):
that I have going on, all thisinsecurity, all this
self-loathing that I'mexperiencing as a result of
having gone through thisexperience.
And I get it.
I get it, I totally do.
And I think that when we movethrough these experiences,
they're so painful, but you know, you have to remember that
because they're so painful,they're also wildly
transformative.
(02:04):
Right, you did not go throughthis experience for nothing.
You did not go through thispain, this heartbreak, this
betrayal, this manipulation forno reason at all.
It was not in vain, it was veryintentional and it was part of
your journey so that you couldevolve into the woman that you
are becoming.
Okay, and I really want you tolet that sink in, because you
(02:40):
know again, if you turned yourback on yourself, your goals,
your ambitions, everything thatyou needed and wanted for your
life, and made this relationshipthe central focus, only to have
it betray you and manipulateyou and let you down in the end,
you know you get to take thatback now.
You know you get.
You get a redo, you get theredo.
So what are you going to dodifferently?
(03:04):
And who are you on the otherside, right?
So the other side, right.
So you know, for me this was aslow and steady evolution over
time.
There was parts of you know Ialways say you know, honor who
you are at every stage in yourlife, because who you are always
leads to the next stage you'regoing to go into, or the next
(03:25):
version, or the next evolutionof you, right, and I think that
you know when we look back onyou know who we were in the
relationship before therelationship, right.
What did we love about who wewere?
What were we excited about?
What were our dreams, what wereour goals, what were our
(03:45):
ambitions at the time, right,and what did we let fall by the
wayside?
I think that's really important, right, but I think what's also
really important to mention orto acknowledge is how centrally
focused this relationship becamefor us, like how this
(04:06):
relationship took center stage,first priority, and suddenly
everything that was important toyou and everything that
mattered to you and everythingthat you wanted to achieve for
you now took a backseat or wason the back burner because of
this relationship.
Right, and I think that's areally important lesson.
I mean, maybe that wasn't yourstory, it certainly was mine.
Right, that was my story.
(04:27):
You know, I put everything onhold and put it on the back
burner to give this relationshipevery chance that it had to
thrive.
And I did that very consciously, right, very consciously, like
I made that decision veryconsciously.
I made that decision veryconsciously and my biggest
lesson in all this is really tonever do that again.
(04:50):
And that's not to say that Iwill never compromise in a
relationship.
I think all healthyrelationships require compromise
, but I think I can pick andchoose what compromises I make
and which ones I don't, and Idon't believe that my
relationships need to takecentral focus going forward.
You know, I believe that I cannurture the relationship any
relationships that I'm in andmyself simultaneously, you know,
(05:13):
and give space and investmentin both.
You know, I don't think it needsto be one or the other, but I
think that you know recognizingand spending time meditating on
who you were before therelationship, right, what
(05:34):
lessons did you learn from therelationship?
What was the relationshiptrying to teach you?
What did you learn aboutyourself?
What were the harder lessons ithelped you learn, or patterns
it helped you to break Beliefsthat you held, that you've
shifted as a result, and howdoes all of this inform who you
(05:56):
are becoming now?
You know, and again you know,going back to yesterday when we
talked about burning it all downand starting from a blank slate
, you know what if you, thewoman, are a blank slate right
now, you know how can you piecetogether all these beautiful
parts of yourself to become whoyou are now without him?
Because I think you know somuch, so many of us, when we get
(06:18):
involved in, you know, aserious relationship that we
think is going to stand the testof time, we kind of become or I
did, I became this.
You know this other half of thisrelationship, right, I think I
did lose part of my not all, notall, like I still kept some of
(06:39):
my interests and you know, Ikept my values.
But values, um, but in terms ofhow I made my decisions, did my
values govern my decisions?
No, they did not.
Did my passions and interestsgovern a lot of my decisions?
Nope, they did not.
His did or not his, but ours,the relationship, it kind of
became its own entity, right, um?
(07:02):
And so, you know, looking backto who I was before, what I
learned doing and who I wasbecoming, which is a very
different person than who I wasbefore in the relationship, you
know, it's like trying to piecea jigsaw puzzle together.
It literally is Um, and that'swhy I say this is a gradual and
(07:23):
a gentle unfolding.
This is not a process that youcan rush or, you know, apply a
formula to and have it all finda figured out and fall into
place.
It doesn't work that way.
It is a gradual unfolding and Ithink what it comes, what it
starts with, is who am I really?
(07:44):
Who was I before I met thisperson?
Who was I when I was with thisperson?
What did I like about when Iwas with this person?
What didn't I like when I waswith this person, and who do I
want to be now going forward?
Right, and I think that you knowit's not about changing your
personality, that's not it.
It's.
You know your personality.
(08:06):
You should always stay true towho you are, stay true to your
values and stay true to whatmatters to you.
But in terms of how you identifyyourself, right, I think this
is a really importantconversation because, you know,
maybe before you met this person, you know you identified
(08:26):
yourself as a empowered andconfident woman.
You know out in in, you know,moving in her career, making,
making, making moves in hercareer to move up, to advance
herself.
Um, you know.
And then maybe in therelationship, you kind of lost
sight of that.
But maybe that wasn't theauthentic version of you either,
(08:47):
right, maybe you learned a fewthings along the way and maybe
now you know you want to leaninto a different identity of who
you are.
You get to decide who you are inthis life.
You get to decide what valuesmatter to you.
You get to decide what beliefsyou want to carry with you.
(09:10):
And I think that you know, whenwe get into these relationships
, it's so easy to let our valuesand our beliefs and our
lifestyle and who we think weshould be be influenced by
either this person or what itlooks like or what we've been
taught about what it is to be ina relationship with any person,
(09:31):
really, especially if it's likea long-term relationship, right
?
So I think that we get tore-engineer all of that and
finally ask ourselves well,knowing what I know, knowing
what I've been through andknowing, you know, who I was
before I met this person andwhat I learned about myself and
(09:52):
my life and who I want to bewhile I was with this person is
how do I string that alltogether now and allow myself to
just unfold as the woman thatI'm becoming?
What felt aligned in my body,what felt like it was really and
truly me, what felt forced thatI was trying to live up to, or
(10:16):
what felt like performing, whatfelt fake?
You know, like I can remember,you know, showing up to certain
meetings in the office, and Iremember showing up to these
events and you know we had theselike corporate events and
webinars and things where youknow we would, you know, be face
to face with the leadershipteam.
(10:36):
And I can remember, like youknow, you know always having to
bring your A game to theseevents, right, and I can
remember, like, just theconversations and the way I
showed up and the way Ipresented myself, always feeling
so forced and feeling like Ihad to, like, like I was
constantly performing, and thesewould be like three, four day
events.
So it would be so exhaustingwhen I came home because I felt
(10:59):
like I was performing from themoment I woke up to the moment I
went to bed although the bedswere really comfortable in these
hotels, let me tell you, and soyou know, like it was
exhausting.
It was exhausting because itfelt like a 24 fucking hour
performance.
So that's kind of how you know,when you're not in a line, when
you feel like you're constantlyneeding to perform or be
something other than you're not,what would it look like to
(11:21):
truly and just really beyourself and relax into who you
are meant to be, right?
What would that look like?
How would people respond?
Right and does it matter?
Right, like I know, like youknow, we always have to like.
You know you always have toplay the game a little bit at
work, and that's the unfortunatetruth about you know, being in
a nine to five is oftentimes orany hours really, when you're in
(11:45):
a workplace and with otherpeople.
You know there's obviouslycertain things we can and can't
do and say and can't say.
But it should never be.
It should never feel like youhave to be a completely
different person at work fromthe person that you are at home
right, and when you have that,there's an incongruency
happening.
And when you feel most yourself,where do you feel most
(12:14):
empowered?
Where do you feel mostconfident?
For me, it's always been thispodcast, right?
This has always been my channelfor really being myself and
allowing my voice to, to flex myvoice, to flex my intuition, to
flex, um, you know, sharing mybeliefs and my and my intentions
(12:39):
with the world, right, um, thishas always been my, my go-to
right.
What does that look like foryou?
Like, where do you feel yourbest?
Where do you feel the mostconfident?
What makes you feel lit up fromthe inside out?
Right, pay attention to thosethings and allow more of that
(12:59):
side of your personality to kindof flow into all areas of life.
You know, we get into this trap, like I mentioned before, of
like being a different person atwork and being a different
person at home, or being adifferent person with these
friends versus those friends,being a different person at home
or being a different personwith these friends versus those
friends.
What does it look like to stopcompartmentalizing who you are
and actually show up as the sameversion of you in all
(13:21):
environments?
Okay, again, slight tweaks ifyou're going to work, you know,
you know, maybe you can't swearlike a truck driver in the
office, like I do on thispodcast, and I get that right,
you know, but you know to a verysubtle degree, right, should
there be adjustments being made,you should never feel, you know
(13:47):
, you have to feel like you haveto be somebody that is
completely inauthentic and notyourself, to be in that
environment.
Either number one it's a beliefthat you've made up about
yourself that you need to bethat way or number one it's a
belief that you've made up aboutyourself that you need to be
that way or number two it reallyisn't the environment for you.
You know, and what you need todo is actually think about, well
, what environments do I thrivein and what would feel aligned
for me?
Right, because you should neverfeel like you're being an
(14:08):
authentic.
I can remember, like I said, theversion of me, you know, before
this relationship came in, whowas confident and just, you know
, radiant and just feeling soempowered in the world, you know
, and how I kind of put all mydreams, goals and ambitions on
(14:30):
the back burner so I can makethis relationship a central
focus.
And then, you know, beingintroduced to all these new
people you know his new friends,community and whatnot and
feeling like I had to be thisvery, very inauthentic version
of myself to believe in thingsthat I didn't believe in, to
(14:56):
adopt customs and traditions andhabits and routines that never
felt right for me, and it almostfelt not that they were forced
upon me, because I don't believewe're ever forced to do
anything.
I believe I forced them on mebecause I was trying to fit in
again to people, please, right,and to be you know who I felt
(15:17):
like I needed to be for therelationship to thrive.
There was nothing internallyfocused about who I was becoming
in that relationship, nothing,and I think that was like the
biggest mistake that I had madenext to not trusting myself, and
I think that's where thebetrayal comes in, and I think
(15:37):
that's why these relationshipsalways act as such powerful
mirrors.
It's like not again, not to saythat you made this person cheat
on you.
You know, cheating is a decision, or manipulation, or lying or
whatever is a decision that thisperson made to do, an action
they decided to take that theydidn't have to do, you know,
(15:58):
they could have communicated,they could have addressed the
issues, they could haveexpressed how misaligned or
unvalued or unseen or whateverthat they were feeling, but they
chose not to and they chose togo that path, and that is their
choice.
But they chose not to and theychose to go that path, and that
is their choice.
But is there a part of you thatmaybe, just maybe, betrayed
(16:21):
yourself a little, betrayedyourself, your dreams, your
goals, your ambitions?
And this relationship was thewake-up call that you needed to
say hey, stop it.
Like I'm flicking my video,stop it.
Is there a part of you that youknow would have wanted
something different for you,that would have made different
(16:44):
choices, different decisions,taken different actions or paths
in life had it not been forthis relationship?
And I think those are theimportant decisions that we need
to ask ourselves, and I thinkthat you know, like I said in
the beginning, to go back to theversion of you that you were
before this happened is such aninjustice to who you are and to
(17:05):
your journey, because number one, that's the person who
attracted this person in thefirst place.
So why did you want to go backto her?
That's number one.
Number two you went throughthis for a reason, and that was
to evolve spiritually and toexpand and to learn.
You know, learn lessons andintegrate them into your
(17:27):
experience so that you can stepinto a more empowered version of
yourself, so you can experiencemore healthy, loving
relationships, so that you canalign with greater opportunities
and purpose in your life.
And going back and reverting tothe woman that you were before
you met this person, that issuch a disservice to you and
(17:48):
everything that you've beenthrough.
Don't let this be in vain.
Recognize.
This happened for a reason.
It was not a coincidence thatyou went through this
relationship.
It was trying to transform andevolve you on a deep cellular
level, and that's why it had tobe so painful, otherwise it
would not have done that.
(18:09):
And so, on the other side ofwhatever this experience was,
have done that, and so, on theother side of whatever this
experience was, you need torecalibrate to the woman that
you are becoming today, and thatmeans taking the woman along
who you know you were before,taking the lessons you learned
while you were in thatexperience and rolling them all
up and deciding and opening tothe possibility of discovering
(18:33):
who it is.
You want to be moving forwardand allowing that to be revealed
to you each and every day, alittle bit at a time, until you
finally have some picture of whoit is that you're becoming.
Because I can tell you rightnow you've gone through an
experience like this.
You're meant to experience abigger life.
(18:53):
You're meant to experience adifferent life.
This did not happen for nothing.
You didn't have the rug pulledout from under you for no reason
.
It's because you're meant to besomewhere else.
You're meant to expressyourself in different ways.
You're meant to just live adifferent life than maybe you've
(19:15):
given yourself permission toeven consider.
So I want you to take thisexperience as the catalyst,
right.
So, if you can see the betrayalor the lies or the manipulation
, if you can see it as acatalyst, a powerful catalyst
that is taking you from thewoman you once were to the woman
(19:38):
that you are becoming and youcan choose to look at it that
way, and I choose to see this asa catalyst and I choose to see
this as a portal to deep andlasting transformation what is
this experience trying to teachme, and how might it inform who
(19:59):
I'm becoming and how might itgive me clues as to who I'm
becoming and how can I gentlylet that unfold and trust that
everything will be revealed tome in divine timing?
It is a spiritual journey.
You are on a spiritual path.
This was not random.
You're going through a powerfulevolution, so please treat it
(20:21):
that way, honor it.
It wasn't about this person.
It wasn't about you not beinggood enough.
It wasn't about she was hotterthan you and so he slept with
her, and you know all of thosethings that go through your head
.
I can remember I could not.
When I first found out, I couldnot stop obsessing, day in and
(20:42):
day out, when I slept, when Iate, when I worked, when I went
to the bathroom, when I showered.
All I could think about was howhe maybe preferred like, how he
preferred her.
He obviously must havepreferred her to me, or he
wouldn't have been doing this.
Maybe the sex was better, maybeshe gave him more pleasure than
I ever could.
Did they talk about me?
(21:04):
Did they laugh about me?
Did they make fun of like howshitty I actually was while they
were together?
Because I know she knew aboutme.
I know she knew about me.
So you know like it wouldplague me so much.
And you know, in hindsight, youknow, coming out of that
(21:26):
experience and coming out.
And you know, in hindsight, youknow, coming out of that
experience and coming out.
And you know, you know, nowbeing able to see it as this,
this powerful evolution thatthis was was in finally learning
and accepting that that thatyou know, it showed me how low
self-worth I had and how, allthe ways I didn't feel good
(21:49):
enough because that is where Idefaulted immediately when this
happened.
I wasn't good enough.
He didn't choose me, he choseto be with somebody else.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't he love me?
You know, all these things thatkind of run through your mind,
right things that kind of runthrough your mind, right?
So it showed me these beliefsthat I have ingrained in me that
(22:11):
I needed to basically workthrough and say no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
This had nothing to do with me.
If this was this something,something was up and and, and
you know, somebody wasn'tfeeling like they were getting
what they wanted out of theconnection and they, they felt
like, you know, they werestarting to get the urge to go
(22:32):
elsewhere.
A healthy partner would havehad the conversation, would have
said hey, listen, I think weneed to address some things here
, you know, here's where I'mfeeling like the relationship is
lacking.
Here's where I'm feeling likeI'm not being seen or getting
the intimacy or the connectionthat I'm looking for, instead of
going that other route.
So, and I think that some youknow, and one big realization,
(22:54):
core realization that I had, wasthis was never about me, this
was always about him.
Not you know, but the fact thathe couldn't come to me and
couldn't tell me and couldn'town up to it and couldn't, you
know, be honest about what hewas feeling and what he was
going through and the decisionsthat he was making and the
actions that he you know, all ofit, you know, is is is just
(23:17):
compounded evidence thatobviously he didn't feel
comfortable enough with himselfto be honest with me about what
he was going through.
Obviously, in some way, shapeor form, he was ashamed to tell
me what he had done.
He was ashamed to really talkto me about what he was feeling
or what he was thinking.
And that's on him, you know,because I gave him every
(23:39):
opportunity to talk to me.
I gave him every opportunityfor us to work through it
together.
That did not happen.
What happened was a lot ofgaslighting and manipulating and
you know, in the end, you know,I finally realized, you know,
the power this event had to showme where I had abandoned myself
and betrayed myself and mygoals, my dreams and my
(24:02):
ambitions.
And my default response toautomatically assume that it's
something wrong with me,something that I've done wrong
somewhere where I wasn't goodenough.
And that's where this becamethe catalyst for the work that I
do.
And so, if I had not gonethrough this experience, I never
would have gone to Asia, Inever would have started this
practice, I never would havedone the healing that I did, I
(24:23):
never would have started talkingto you guys about everything
that we talk about on this show.
It was literally the catalystthat brought all of it.
Had that not happened, I wouldprobably still be in that
painfully boring nine to five,you know, and living the same
life and, you know, feelingcompletely unfulfilled and
(24:45):
uninspired.
Would it have been easy?
Maybe, maybe it would have beeneasier, maybe it would have
been harder, I don't know.
You know I've said, I said thisbefore.
You know, certainly a lot of mydecisions that I made on along
the journey weren't the easiestones, but they were the ones
that I could live with and so Imade them and I would make them
(25:07):
again.
You know, because, like I said,they were the ones that I could
live with and so I made themand I would make them again.
You know, because, like I said,they were the decisions that I
could live with and that feltaligned for me.
Yes, I probably could have madesome easier choices, but they
wouldn't have felt right andthey wouldn't have felt aligned
and I made.
Alignment mean more thananything else and you can't do
(25:28):
that if you don't work on thestuff that tells you that you're
not good enough first.
That comes first.
Then you can make decisionsthat align with you and your
values, regardless of how otherpeople are going to respond.
Because when you get to thatpoint and you realize, hey, it
(25:49):
doesn't actually matter, right,how they respond.
What matters is that I make thealigned decision for what I
need and where I'm at and for mywell-being right and for my
wellbeing right and healthy,like I'm talking, healthy
(26:10):
decisions here.
So you know, let that inform thewoman that you are becoming.
Take all of it.
Take the woman you were before,take the woman you were during,
take the lessons she learned,take the experiences that or the
epiphanies that she had, theaha moments you know, reverse
the limiting beliefs she wasstruggling with and bring it all
into and roll it all up toalmost like the starting point
(26:34):
of who you are becoming fromhere on in, and let her reveal
herself to you slowly, onelittle, tiny bit at a time.
Don't try and figure it all outin one day.
You'll never do it.
I promise you that.
What I do know is that she willgive you clues, she will give
you insights, she will give youfeedback immediately when you're
(26:54):
aligned and when you're notaligned, especially if you learn
to listen to your body alongthe way and learn what feels
easeful and relaxed and whatfeels forced and and icky.
Um, that becomes reallyimportant.
Um, you can even give her likean alternate, like a, like an
alter ego, like you can make herlike, make her your Sasha,
fierce right.
(27:15):
Who do you want to step into?
Right and literally almosttreat it as a conversation.
You know every single day howdo you want me to respond to
this or that?
Or how do you want me to showup?
What do you want me to wear?
What decisions should we maketoday?
Like, literally, make it likeshe's like another person in the
(27:36):
room with you and I promise youshe will reveal herself to you
when we work with the futureself in session.
Just to give you a little bit ofinsight oftentimes she's
somebody who she's never reallystanding in front of you.
She's almost kind of like here.
So like, sorry, I'm like, Iknow you can't see me and I'm
(27:57):
using my hands.
She's almost just in front ofand above your forehead, so from
almost like a 30 degree anglefrom your forehead.
Sitting just in front of yourthird eye is usually where, um,
you know when we do the workabout you know tuning into the
future version of yourself, andyou know what actions she wants
you to take and what advice shehas for you in this moment.
(28:18):
That's where people usually seeher.
They usually see her sort of 30degrees from, from her third
eye.
Um, just up ahead, maybe likeabout two feet ahead.
So, just, you know, focus onyour third eye or focus on that
area or focus your intentionthere and see what your future
self might look like.
See, you know what is shewearing, what does her hair look
(28:41):
like and what advice does shehave for you each and every day.
This is a amazing practice.
She will inform you, detail bydetail, who it is that you're
meant to be in this life and howthat's meant to unfold, in a
very healthy and organic andelevated way that will never
(29:03):
feel forced or uncomfortable.
And this is something I stilldo daily, because I believe
we're always unfolding and Ibelieve we're always learning
and we're always elevating andwe're always growing.
So I always tune into the next.
You know my future self, or myhigher self, or you know over
soul, higher soul, whatever youwant to call it as my guide, my
(29:25):
decision maker, because sheknows where I'm going and she
knows the fastest way to get methere.
So it is honestly a superpower.
It's one of my favorite toolsto use in personal development
and I strongly encourage you tostart doing that.
Start bringing those pieces ofyourself, the past pieces, the
pieces that were in therelationship before the
(29:47):
relationship, the lessons thatyou learned, bringing it all to
the table and asking your futureself what the fuck do you want
me to do with all of this now?
Why did I go through this?
Who am I becoming?
How was this informing who I'mbecoming and what is my next
step?
These are the really importantquestions you need to ask this
next level version of you.
Okay, so that about wraps up dayfour.
(30:10):
Tomorrow is the last day.
Day five we're talking abouttrusting yourself and trusting
love again, which was probablyone of the hardest steps in the
process, I think, for me interms of coming back, and
probably took the longest to bequite honest for me in terms of
coming back and probably tookthe longest to be quite honest.
So I'm going to help you,hopefully.
Um, make that maybe collapsethat timeline a little bit.
(30:31):
Make it a little bit quicker.
Um, so that's what we'recovering tomorrow.
Um, that'll be live on thepodcast Same time.
Um, if you love this episode,please leave a positive rating
and review.
I beg you to get this out intothe world so that other women
who have gone through theseexperiences can actually listen
to this and get the support thatthey need.
And don't forget, themasterclass is happening also
(30:54):
next week.
The details for all that are inthe show notes below, so make
sure to sign up for that andthat's it.
Until next time.
You guys massive love.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.