You’ve been told to stay calm, be kind, and keep the peace. But what if that “peace” is actually a prison?
In this potent episode of The Femme Cast, we dive deep into the truth most women avoid — your suppressed rage isn’t the villain. It’s the compass guiding you back home to your truth, your boundaries, and your purpose.
If you’ve been the reliable giver, the one who swallows her anger to keep others comfortable, or the one who feels guilty for feeling too much — this is your wake-up call.
We’ll explore the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of stored rage, from resentment and people-pleasing to subtle body signals like inflammation, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and even hair loss. Because the body always speaks what the soul has been silenced from saying.
You’ll learn how repressed emotion masquerades as fatigue, overthinking, or “just being busy” — and how numbing patterns like scrolling, shopping, or overworking are simply distractions from the boundaries you’re afraid to set.
Through raw stories and grounded wisdom, we uncover:
🎤 Why “keeping the peace” often breeds quiet resentment
🎤 The emotional and physical signs your body is holding suppressed anger
🎤 How rage, when felt and expressed consciously, becomes a portal to clarity, confidence, and divine purpose
🎤 The difference between projection and inner guidance — and how to decode the messages hidden inside your triggers
🎤 The spiritual meaning behind 3–4 a.m. wake-ups and “full cup” emotional spillovers
🎤 Simple, powerful practices to feel, name, and move your emotions through your body — instead of burying them
This isn’t about being high-vibe all the time. It’s about being real. Because when you stop bypassing your pain and start feeling it — that’s when your energy expands, your boundaries strengthen, and your magnetism returns.
If you’re ready to stop betraying yourself for the sake of harmony and start reclaiming your voice, your power, and your peace — this episode will show you how to alchemize rage into liberation.
You are not broken for feeling angry. You are awakening. Your emotions aren’t signs of failure — they’re invitations to freedom. Every trigger is a teacher, every eruption a rebirth.
When you choose to meet your rage with compassion instead of shame, you transmute it into pure creation energy. This is your initiation — from self-abandonment to self-honor.
So take a deep breath. Listen closely. Because the parts of you you’ve been suppressing… are the keys to everything you’ve been manifesting.
🎧 Press play to remember your power — and rise as the woman who no longer silences her truth to be loved.
Ready to stop shrinking for others? Let this episode be your sign → Step into your Unapologetic Era: https://thefemmecast.com/breakthrough
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the
(00:02):
show.
I am so excited and gratefulthat you guys are here.
Um we are continuing down therage rabbit hole this week um or
this episode.
Um and what I wanted to give youis, you know, just some signs
because, you know, I don'tthink, like I said, if you're if
you're storing a lot of orsuppressing a lot of your
emotion, you might not know therage is there.
(00:25):
Um, like for the longest time, Ihad no idea I was holding on to
all this suppressed rage.
Um, but, you know, inretrospect, right?
Hindsight's always 2020.
In retrospect, I could see thesigns.
You know, like now I could see,okay, there were signs.
There were definitely signs thatI was holding on to a lot of
rage.
Um, and there's definitely someconsistent patterns that I've
(00:46):
seen with my experience and theexperience my clients have had.
Um, and so I wanted to kind of,you know, unpack all of that so
you kind of understand um, youknow, number one, how it
presents, and number two, so youknow um, you know, whether it's
(01:06):
something that you need to payattention to.
So again, like, you know, if ifyou follow me and you identify
with, you know, being a peoplepleaser and somebody who often
overgives and worries about whateveryone else is going to think,
um, and and you know,prioritizes everyone else's
feelings and needs and putstheirs on the back burner.
(01:26):
This is probably, I can almostguarantee that this is something
that if you're not strugglingwith right now, maybe you have,
or maybe you're about to, ormaybe you will eventually.
So, you know, hopefully this cankind of make your path a little
bit easier because it's it'snot, it's not easy.
(01:47):
Like it's not an easy path to godown.
But I want you to remember thatno matter how icky it might get
or chaotic it might get oruncomfortable as fuck as it
might get, please know that itis actually there to support you
and to help you evolve.
Okay.
Um, our soul is alwayshardwired, hardwired for growth
and healing.
And our emotions and ourrelationships are the two most
(02:12):
powerful tools that we have atour disposable in order to do
that work.
Um, and that's why we havethat's where we spend like 99%
of our time in session together.
Um, because that that is wherethe real transformation takes
place.
Okay.
Um, so some of the obvious andalso some of the not so obvious
(02:32):
signs that um, you know, you'vegot some suppressed anger or
rage kind of happening that youmay want to start to pay
attention to, right?
For your own well-being.
So um the first ones are prettyobvious, right?
You're somebody, like I said,who's a people pleaser.
You've been swallowing a lot ofyour anger and frustration to
(02:53):
keep the peace.
People always cross yourboundaries, you don't say
anything.
People always take more thanthey give, you don't say
anything.
You get frustrated, you getresentful, you're like, oh why?
Like, here I am.
I'm showing you an example ofhow this is how much I give.
Look how much I give to you,look how much I give.
And they're like, okay, great,thanks, bye.
And they don't give it back.
And it can be really frustratingbecause we always I think I
(03:16):
think all of us kind of loveothers the way we want to be
loved ourselves.
So if we're constantly giving,we almost like assume, like, yo,
like, aren't you getting it?
Like, I'm giving so much.
Like, don't you, don't you wantto reciprocate?
Like, I where's the breakdownhere?
But it doesn't work that way.
Everybody has their own lovelanguage, everybody has their
own expression of what whatloving you looks like.
(03:38):
And I I do find, you know, thisis going back to masculine and
feminine energetics, which we'renot going to get into today.
But I will say this.
Um, if you're constantly giving,people people can't give back.
Like you need to, you need tostep out of giving for a second
and be in receiving in order toreceive, right?
Masculine, feminine energy, veryimportant.
Um, but oftentimes, you know,people pleasers, we are in our
(04:00):
masculine.
We are constantly giving, we areconstantly providing, we are
constantly taking care of, we'reconstantly prioritizing
everybody else's needs andputting our own on the back
burner.
This makes us very angry andresentful.
And that tends to accumulatebecause we don't say anything
about it.
We just keep taking it out, likejust taking it and dealing with
it.
And every time we get more andmore and more and more resentful
(04:22):
until one day the pot boils overwith rage.
Um, you're easily provoked,right?
So once you get to that pointwhere the rage is really like
there, right?
And it's beneath the surface,you're easily provoked by the
smallest things.
The smallest things like ashopping cart in Walmart, like I
mentioned last week, bumping youin the butt is enough to make
you want to like explode on atotal stranger, right?
(04:44):
Because of not because of whatthey did, but because you're
holding on to so much inside ofyou.
It's that whole, it's that wholelike coffee cup theory, right?
You bump it to somebody with afull cup, that's cup's gonna
spill over.
If they've not got much in thatcup, not much is probably gonna
spill.
It's the exact same thing.
Um, you're very resentful inyour relationships.
(05:06):
You may have a lot of animositybecause of everything that
you've given, all that they'vetaken, and how undervalued,
unappreciated, and unloved youfeel in return.
Um, you probably struggle with alot of anxiety and depression.
Um, and you might also feel alot of you, you you probably try
to numb out a lot.
You probably try to distractyourself.
(05:27):
So you're probably prone to alot of addictive behaviors like
binge watching Netflix, shoppingonline, drinking like half a
bottle of wine at the end of theday just to wind down because
it's been our day, right?
Eating your feelings, right?
Um, all are getting, you know,putting all our focus and energy
into toxic relationships, right?
(05:47):
These are all ways that we tryto avoid kind of what's going on
on the inside, right?
And they're there are convenientdistractions.
There are they're there ways inwhich we avoid dealing with um
what's going on on the inside.
Um you may also feel massivedisconnectedness from yourself.
(06:09):
And this comes because um we dokeep numbing out, we do keep
ignoring, we do keepsuppressing, we do keep putting
all our focus and energy andattention on everybody else
around us instead of payingattention to what's going on
inside.
And what ends up happening is webecome really disconnected from
ourselves.
Um we also become verydisconnected from our truth
(06:30):
because, like I mentioned inlast week's episode, so you
haven't had a chance to listento that one, you know, when
we're done, go back and listento it.
You know, there's a lot of truthand guidance and wisdom that
comes from these moments ofanger.
There's a lot of ways in whichthey are guiding us.
Sorry, guys, I got a motorcyclegoing by.
It is what it is.
Um, it's a loud one too.
Um, you know, a lot of thesemoments where the anger and the
(06:54):
rage and the resentment arepopping up are really trying to
guide us to our highest good andour highest potential.
Um, but we keep ignoring them,right?
And we keep bypassing them andwe keep suppressing them and we
keep trying to pretend thatthey're not there and not giving
them the time or space that theyreally deserve.
And so we become disconnectedfrom ourselves, our life, our
(07:18):
purpose, um, and who we camehere to be in this life and and
what we came here to do.
Like for some of us, like I cantell you right now, like, if
you're somebody who struggledwith people pleasing and
worrying about what everyoneelse thinks, 99, 99% of you have
a massive purpose.
Whether it's to help yourfamily, your community, um, a
(07:40):
larger community, um, you know,maybe it's for you to do certain
type of work.
Either way, you don't go throughthis training ground for no
reason.
And, you know, you maybe on somelevel probably know that, but
the problem is that you're solike wrapped up in and worrying
about what everyone else thinks,you're not stopping to ask
yourself, well, who did I comehere to be and not worry about
(08:01):
what everyone else is gonnathink about you?
You know, that's a reallyimportant question.
You had to start askingyourself.
Um, and we're gonna be talkingabout more of that in the weeks
and and months to come, but youknow, understand that, you know,
by ignoring the anger, ignoringthe rage, ignoring the
resentment, there is so muchtruth about who you are and how
(08:23):
who you're meant to be in thislife, and how you're meant to
access your highest potential umthat you're missing out on.
Like so much.
Um, and so that's where thedisconnection comes in.
Because not only are youdisconnected from your truth and
what the the anger and and whatthe rage and the resentment is
(08:44):
trying to teach you, but you'realso disconnected from how
you're feeling because you'resuppressing it, and you're also
disconnected from why you'rehere.
Um, and so how we mend thatconnection again is to start
paying attention to what we'refeeling and what those emotions
are trying to tell us about whowe are and why we're here, and
how we can tap into what we needto do, the steps we need to
(09:06):
take, the community, theuncomfortable conversations we
need to have, the boundaries weneed to set, the truth we need
to speak, in order to be thehighest and most expressed
version of ourselves and stepinto our potential.
Okay.
And that's hard.
The ego doesn't want that.
The ego just wants to keep youfocused on you're mad because
they did this and they did thatand they said this and they took
(09:28):
that and they didn't give thatback, and blah, blah, blah,
blah.
Like you're you're caught in thestory of what it means.
And you're also caught in thestory that, oh, if I feel all
this anger, I feel, you know, ifI feel all this rage, and oh, I
must be a bad person.
I have to hide it, I have to beashamed of it.
Good people don't feel anger.
Good people, high vibrationalpeople don't feel rage.
It's bad, it's low vibe, it'stoxic.
It's not.
(09:49):
None of it is.
It's all how you choose to movethrough it that makes the
difference.
Please trust me on this.
I know it's uncomfortable, butyou have to feel all that
emotion that you've been storinginside of you, especially the
anger and the rage and theresentment, because it has so
much wisdom for you.
(10:09):
And you keep trying to pack thatshit down and ignore it and
apprentice and pretend that itdoesn't exist.
And yet all your magic, all yourtruth, all your potential is on
the other side of that.
Everything that you'restruggling for, everything that
you're fighting for, it's there.
But you have to be willing to gothrough the messy bits first.
Okay.
And that, that, my friend, isradical self-love and
(10:33):
acceptance.
It's not the manicures and thepedicures and the day spa days
and, you know, um, drinking thechamomile teas, you know, with
the flower petals.
No, I mean, yes, those thingsare all nice and sweet and we
love them.
Um, but that's not whatself-love is.
Self-love is being able to seeand witness all of who you are,
(10:56):
all of your um, all of the youryour your mental, your
emotional, your physical uhbodies, and being able to
embrace them fully as you are,and being able to recognize that
there is light and dark in allof it.
Okay, that is so important.
11-11 on the clock when I saidthat for whoever cares about
(11:19):
number synchronicities.
There you go.
Um, it might not be 11-11 whenyou listen to this, because I'll
for sure slap on an intro in amid-roll to throw you off your
game.
But when I was recording, it was11-11.
Okay.
Um, now let's talk about some ofthe not so obvious ways that
you're holding on to rage orresentment.
(11:41):
Now, I will say this like someof these signs and synchronous,
like some of these um symptomsof of um suppressed rage and
anger, they're not exclusive torage and anger.
They could be other emotions aswell or other um other um, you
know, things going on with yourenergy in general or going on
with your life in general.
(12:01):
However, um, if you know, wetalked about some of the obvious
signs and it could explain someof these not so obvious signs if
you're experiencing them aswell.
Okay, so that's kind of where Iwant you to go with that.
Um, or at least ask yourself,you know, if you're if you're
showing a lot of these signs,whether obvious or not obvious,
(12:22):
just ask yourself, you know,start to have those
conversations with yourself.
And we're gonna start to talkmore about that um in the coming
episodes.
Um, but some of the not soobvious ways that it shows up is
excessive weight loss or gain,especially weight gain, because
I do believe the energy ofemotion trans, like the weight
of the emotions that we'reholding often translates to
(12:43):
weight in the body.
Um so, yes, it could be weightloss or weight gain, but for
predominantly what I've seen andwhat I've seen in myself has
been weight gain.
And I'll be it's funny becauseas I started to do this work,
the weight slowly started tocome off this last year because
I was holding a lot of weight upuntil like last year when my
when my mom um had her fall, andshe, you know, we were putting
(13:07):
so much effort into taking careof her and also taking care of
my dad.
Um, so much excessive weight.
And now that you know I've donethe work, I haven't really
changed my lifestyle all thatmuch.
Um, little bits here and there,but for the most part, like the
weight has slowly started tocome off.
And I think because a lot of itwas actually energetic and
(13:27):
emotional weight that I wascarrying, um that since doing
this work has started to, youknow, dissipate.
Unable to sleep or fall, likefall asleep or stay asleep.
This is classic.
Um, for me, it usually presentsas not being able to stay
asleep.
Like I'll usually wake upmultiple times a night, wake up
at 3 or 4 a.m., um, also knownas the witching hour.
(13:50):
Now that could be also part ofthere's many reasons that can
happen, and that has happenedperiodically throughout my life.
I do think sometimes when we'regoing through growth spurts, we
will start to go like wake up at3, 4 a.m.
It is the witching hour, and itis when the world is quiet, and
that it is the most powerfultime when, you know, if you
(14:12):
believe in angelic realms, ifyou believe in spiritual guides,
if you believe in um your higherself, if you if you believe in a
in a source or creator, this iswhen a lot of those um energies
are able to communicate with youbecause, you know, like I said,
the world is still sleeping, youhaven't gotten like wrapped up
in your day and your to-dos.
Um, and you're kind of an openchannel at that time, a channel
(14:36):
for guidance, inspiration,creativity.
Um, so if you have a purpose inthis life, I can tell you right
now you're gonna be waking up at3, 4 a.m.
Just deal with that.
If you have a purpose thatyou've not really like harnessed
yet or not clued into that, thatis when a lot of your
communication is happening.
And I will say, like honestly,since this last full moon in
Aries, I've been woken up atthat time again repeatedly.
(14:59):
So I've been very careful inmaking sure.
Sorry, guys, I'm yawning.
In making sure that when I'mdoing my morning practice, I'm
really paying attention to whereI'm being called to go next
because I know that that'susually when that happens.
So um, nightmares are nightterrors.
So oftentimes what we're notable to feel or express while
(15:20):
we're awake, we'll feel orexpress in our sleep.
Um, so those of you who rememberum in a recent episode where I
did on betrayal, I was waking upin screaming rage fits in the
middle of the night.
Like I would wake up, like I andduring the day, I was positive.
I was, yeah, everything's great.
Life is good, we're happy,happily ever after, blah, blah,
(15:41):
blah, blah.
And then at night, it was likethis roaring rage was coming out
of me because I was denying itand I was suppressing it in my
my my daily life.
And so it was coming out while Iwas sleeping because I couldn't
at that's in that sleepingstate, you can't repress anymore
because you're in an unconsciousstate.
So you can't consciously repressanything.
(16:02):
Sorry, now I have a train goingby.
Okay, I paused for the train, sowe didn't have to listen to
that.
Um, so yeah, so what we repress,you know, in our waking life
will come out while we're asleepand in an unconscious state, um,
where we can't consciouslycontain it or control it or or
filter it anymore.
Um, and so that was happening.
(16:23):
And then as soon as, you know,that relationship ended and I
was able to finally, you know,you know, going back to what we
were talking about before, youknow, things happened,
boundaries were crossed.
I knew something was going on inthat relationship that wasn't
right.
I was getting angry and I wasignoring it, but my anger was
telling me something's notright, you need to leave.
Like you're not getting you'regetting the short end of the
(16:43):
stick in this relationship.
It's time for you to highlightit the fuck out of here and
actually take a stand for whatyou're worth, right?
And I kept ignoring it.
And that that constant ignoring,you know, anger again and again
eventually turned intoresentment and tension and
eventually turned into full-onrage.
And the rage was, you know,again, surface.
(17:06):
He did this to me, he hurt me,he betrayed me, he did blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blahblah.
And beneath all of that is like,why the fuck did you stick
around?
Leave.
What are you waiting for?
Like, take a stand, take a standfor your worth, take a stand for
your boundaries.
It's fucking time, like hightailit out of here.
(17:28):
And so I did.
And when I did that, the the theI don't know what you want to
call them, they're they weren'tnightmares and they were night
terrors, they were night ragefits when the night rage fits
stopped.
Um, and never had one ever againafter I left, ever.
And so um, even though I stillhad a lot of rage to heal, like,
(17:49):
don't get me wrong, and that waswhen, you know, the whole like
island experience and Copen Yanhappened, and then the Walmart
experience.
So it definitely happened slowlyover time in layers.
But as I started to consciouslybecome aware of the work and how
to do the work, that acceleratedvery quickly.
Um, but that's a good example ofhow, you know, the layers of
(18:13):
rage and how it moves from angerto resentment to rage and you
know, the the external, theprojection, the story versus the
message.
Those are two separate parts.
And the problem is we often getcaught in the projection and the
story and what it means aboutour worth and what it means
(18:33):
about people around us that aremaking us angry or the
situations around us that aremaking us angry, instead of
looking at what is it trying totell us about how we need to
change, show up differently,take a different action, take on
a believe a different beliefright about ourselves, hold uh,
(18:55):
share a uphold a boundary, set anew boundary, speak a truth,
whatever it is.
It is very important that we getthrough and declutter and clear
out the noise of the projectionand the blame and the story to
get to the message, and that'swhere the rage work comes in.
(19:15):
So um, let's see, what's nexthere?
I've got a list.
I'm going down my list.
All right, next we've got, oh,this is a good one inflammation
and pain in the body.
Man, I can't tell you how muchpain and inflammation I've had
in the body, like from brokenknees, not broken, like um pain,
like joint pain in the knee,joint pain in the hip, joint
(19:38):
pain in the low back, shoulder,neck, um all symptoms of stored
up and repressed anger and rage.
Um now, in many cases, obviouslythis these can be, you know,
they can be injury from, youknow, sports injuries.
(20:00):
Like I know I did get an injuredknee once from, you know, when I
did my first marathon.
Um, I did get an injury from,you know, work um and getting
like, you know, where I was allconstantly on the computer and
my, you know, wrist would hurtor my neck would hurt and had to
make some, of course, obviouslythere are physical reasons
sometimes that thesemanifestations are happening,
(20:20):
but know that there's also anenergetic reason beneath the
surface that might be feedingthem.
Okay.
The body, what we choose toignore emotionally, always
manifests physically.
Ultimately, our emotions want tobe seen, felt, and heard.
And if we're not payingattention and we're ignoring
(20:42):
them in the emotional, they willreach us through the physical.
And so all of these emotionsthat we ignore, they'll end up
they'll end up manifestingphysically.
And that's where sometimes we,you know, dis-ease in the body
creates disease, right?
Um, so we have to, we alwayshave to be very careful with
what emotions we're ignoring,what we're repressing.
(21:02):
And we have to, for our ownwell-being, mental, emotional,
and physical, start to payattention to what it is that our
emotions are trying to tell us.
Okay.
Um, food intolerances, again,same thing.
Suddenly becoming, I remember Isuddenly create, I suddenly was
gluten intolerant, where I wasnever gluten intolerant.
(21:23):
I grew up eating pasta and breadby the buckets.
Those were staples in my home inmy childhood, and they continue
to be today, but for the longesttime.
I couldn't eat gluten, then Icouldn't eat dairy, then I
couldn't eat this, and then Icouldn't eat that.
And I was breaking out in rashesand having digestive issues and
you know, um, having crampingand bloating and and oh my god,
(21:47):
so many things, so many things,all of which were caused by the
repressed emotion.
Once the emotion started toclear, the symptoms started to
dissipate.
I am now able to eat glutenagain.
I am now able to eat dairyagain.
I can pretty much eat anything Iwant without any problem, right?
Um, headaches and migraines,also another one.
(22:11):
Right?
And sometimes, you know, youI'll I'll now that I'm more
conscious of it, I'll know whenI get triggered.
If I get angry, I can actuallyfeel the pressure, like almost
shift in my head, and I can feelit right away.
And I usually know that's mysign to start paying attention
to what's going on.
Something has triggered me.
I need to pay attention to itand what it's trying to tell me.
(22:33):
And I I do this now so quick,right?
Because we're always gonna getangry.
Like boundaries are gonna getcrossed, truths are gonna be um
denied or unacknowledged, right?
Or or we're gonna we're gonnarun into something that um makes
us feel in some way, shape, orform, like I said, like a
(22:56):
boundaries bring cross orunseen, unheard, unundervalued,
or whatever.
And it's very important that westart to look at what those
moments are trying to tell usand teach us about ourselves and
how we need to maybe show updifferently, believe a different
thing, take a different action,you know, whatever it is.
(23:16):
Each time will be unique andeach time will be different, but
all moments are always trying toshift and change and transform
us in some way, shape, or form.
Um, accelerated hair loss orgraying.
So when I went through um, whenI went through the experience
of, you know, having thebetrayal happen.
(23:37):
I mean, yeah, I was alreadystarting to gray and I was
starting to gray slowly.
Um, but man, did that grayingprocess accelerate during that
betrayal period when I wasstuffing all those emotions.
And then it, and then afteragain, after I left, it slowed
down.
Not to say that it's everstopped.
I mean, I'm getting older.
I mean, you know, I'm 51 now.
(23:57):
Um, you know, obviously grayingis still a thing.
I color my hair like it's partof the process.
However, it acceleratedconsiderably when I wasn't
paying attention to what I wasfeeling internally.
And then when I started to payattention to it, it slowed down.
Again, it's continued to takeplace.
It's part of, it's part of life,you guys.
It is what it is.
Um, but it's not as acceleratedas it was when I was repressing
(24:22):
all of that rage.
Um, and then re- and then thelast time, you know, episode on
the Walmart and, you know,taking care of my mom and all
that coming to a head, um, Iactually started to like really
lose my hair.
Now, a lot of that could also befrom, you know, perimenopause.
Um, but I noticed there was avery distinct, um, you know,
(24:43):
I've been in perimenopause foryears.
Um, my hair has pretty muchstayed the same until last year
when it drastically started toshed and thin out, um, which is
the same time around my momhaving the fall.
So it could be related toperimenopause.
I don't think it was um becauseit actually has slowed down
since my mom has knock woodgotten a little bit better.
(25:04):
Um, and we've gotten throughthat very intense period where
she was like, you know, I mean,she had had she had an L2
compression fracture.
So, you know, she was in a, Ican't remember what they were
called, but the basically shewas in a body cast, like a like
an iron body cast um for liketwo, three months.
She couldn't, you know, shecouldn't eat by herself, she
couldn't stand up by herself,she couldn't, um, you know, she
(25:27):
always had to have that braceon.
Um, we had to roll her in andout of it all the time.
We couldn't even like dress herproperly, she couldn't go to the
bathroom by herself.
Like there were so many things.
Um, she needed to have spongebaths um because you know,
having and having to do all thatum brought up a lot.
And so um, you know, when wewent through that period of high
(25:50):
stress and heart tumor, like Imean, my sister, she had her own
stuff that that um happened as aresult of that.
But like I remember for me, itwas like a lot of joint pain, a
lot of hair loss.
Like I've I've probably got halfthe hair on my head that I used
to have before that all tookplace.
And now, like knock on wood, itseems to have stopped shedding,
(26:12):
right?
I also kind of feel like itmight be getting a little bit
thicker, and I'm like literallypatting my head as I do this.
Maybe not.
It's probably stayed about thesame.
Um, but I continue to do thework and I continue to do the
practice and I continue to usesome of the tools and techniques
that I'm gonna be sharing withyou, and it has made a huge
difference.
Okay.
I will say that.
(26:32):
Um, addictive behaviors andpatterns.
So again, like before, like, youknow, when I when I left that um
that relationship where thebetrayal happened, I dove into a
lot of shopping, a lot of um umdrinking, um, a lot of eating my
feelings, um, just to kind ofcope with what was going on
(26:53):
emotionally that I that I wasn'tthat I really wasn't um
processing.
Like the rage terrors hadstopped, yes.
Um, but there was still a lot ofhealing I needed to do.
Like I wasn't, I wasn't anywherenear done.
And I thought that because, youknow, oh, thank God, you know,
oh, the rage terrors are done, Ican just go and live a normal
(27:15):
life.
Um, and that's all I wanted todo.
I wanted to escape into living anormal life.
I wanted to have fun, I wantedto work on my goals, I wanted
to, you know, move forward in mycareer.
I wanted to have a great sociallife with my friends and go out
and date.
And there was so much going onon the inside that I was
repressing.
And so I ended up like, youknow, in this toxic pattern of
(27:39):
constantly going out and eatingand fancy dinners and drinks and
keeping my calendar busy and notbeing able to sit still and
literally keeping every momentof my life scheduled so that I
wouldn't have a few minutes tosit by myself and actually deal
with what was going oninternally, right?
That was my toxic pattern,right?
I was a toxic social light.
(28:02):
It was fun.
It was fun, it was good, it madefor good memories, but you know,
definitely some stuff that Ineeded to pay attention to on
the inside.
But that can show up many ways,right?
It can show up as chronicshopping, um, binge watching TV,
drinking, eating, smoking,socializing sex, toxic
relationships, um, even healthand fitness.
Like if it's too much, if it'sexcessive, that can also be a
distraction.
(28:23):
Um, and this last one is really,really, really important.
Actually, there's two more.
The the second last is um blocksin abundance, um expansion,
career growth, becauseultimately you have to remember
all that repressed rage thatyou're holding on to is how do I
(28:45):
say this?
Rage in itself is not lowvibrational.
Anger in itself is not lowvibrational, resentment in
itself is not low vibrational,but how we deal with all of
these and any emotion can bevery low vibrational, right?
If we can move through theanger, the rage, and the
resentment and use them as toolsfor our spiritual growth and
(29:08):
what they're trying to teach usabout ourselves and how we're
meant to move through this life,that's nothing low vibrational
about that.
If we choose to keep them stuckin our bodies and not deal with
them and ignore them, they willcontinue to manifest shit we
don't want.
Continue until we're we'reforced to pay attention.
Okay.
(29:29):
Or if we're projecting it ontoother people, we will, this
brings the next and the lastsign, we will actually start
attracting toxic partners in theform of um either people who
will mirror your rage.
So you're going to attract somevery angry partners or
relationships into your life orfriendships, or you're going to
(29:52):
attract um sorry, people whowill trigger it, right?
So they will trigger your angerand your rage.
By, you know, crossing yourboundaries, disrespecting you,
not giving you the love and theattention that you crave, right?
Um, making you feel unseen,unvalued, emotionally being
emotionally unavailable orghosting you, you know, anything
(30:15):
that will either be a mirror forthe rage you're holding
internally or trigger the ragethat you're holding internally,
because again, your soul, youremotional body, everything wants
you to heal.
And the only way to heal it isto see it and then to feel it.
And so it'll keep you on thistrajectory of keep having to of
(30:38):
seeing it and feeling it so thatyou can move through it and
beyond it, right?
So what we do when we worktogether is we completely
accelerate this process and makeit easy and safe and not so like
difficult to move through.
Um, so you know, pay attention,right?
Where is the rage trying topresent itself to you that you
might be ignoring?
(30:59):
You know, where are the signsthat maybe you've not been
listening to?
And what do they mean about umwhat you've been holding inside
that maybe you've not wanted topay attention to, right?
These are all really important.
And I know it's uncomfortable,and I know everything in this
world teaches you that it's badto feel rage and it's bad to
feel anger and it's bad to feelresentment.
But the only thing bad about itis what you make it mean and how
(31:22):
you choose to move through it.
If you take these emotions justas a um a guidebook, right, for
how you're meant to move throughthis life and access your
fullest potential, then none ofthat exists.
None of it.
You just have to be willing tosit in the discomfort of the
(31:46):
emotion and what the world hastold you that it means to get to
the good stuff, right?
And I promise you, the more youdo this, the easier it gets and
the more powerful you become.
Okay.
So that is it for today, youguys.
Let me know in the commentswherever you're seeing this,
what you take away from this.
And please, please, pleasealways just reach out to me at
Marie at femcoach.com or you canuh DM me at the femcast.
(32:09):
Um, I love to hear from youguys.
Let me know how this is workingfor you.
Let me know what you take awayfrom it.
Um, let me know what else you'restruggling with.
Maybe it'll become a futureepisode of the Femcast.
I don't know.
But either way, until next time,you guys, massive love.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the
(00:02):
show.
I am so excited and gratefulthat you guys are here.
Um we are continuing down therage rabbit hole this week um or
this episode.
Um and what I wanted to give youis, you know, just some signs
because, you know, I don'tthink, like I said, if you're if
you're storing a lot of orsuppressing a lot of your
emotion, you might not know therage is there.
(00:25):
Um, like for the longest time, Ihad no idea I was holding on to
all this suppressed rage.
Um, but, you know, inretrospect, right?
Hindsight's always 2020.
In retrospect, I could see thesigns.
You know, like now I could see,okay, there were signs.
There were definitely signs thatI was holding on to a lot of
rage.
Um, and there's definitely someconsistent patterns that I've
(00:46):
seen with my experience and theexperience my clients have had.
Um, and so I wanted to kind of,you know, unpack all of that so
you kind of understand um, youknow, number one, how it
presents, and number two, so youknow um, you know, whether it's
(01:06):
something that you need to payattention to.
So again, like, you know, if ifyou follow me and you identify
with, you know, being a peoplepleaser and somebody who often
overgives and worries about whateveryone else is going to think,
um, and and you know,prioritizes everyone else's
feelings and needs and putstheirs on the back burner.
(01:26):
This is probably, I can almostguarantee that this is something
that if you're not strugglingwith right now, maybe you have,
or maybe you're about to, ormaybe you will eventually.
So, you know, hopefully this cankind of make your path a little
bit easier because it's it'snot, it's not easy.
(01:47):
Like it's not an easy path to godown.
But I want you to remember thatno matter how icky it might get
or chaotic it might get oruncomfortable as fuck as it
might get, please know that itis actually there to support you
and to help you evolve.
Okay.
Um, our soul is alwayshardwired, hardwired for growth
and healing.
And our emotions and ourrelationships are the two most
(02:12):
powerful tools that we have atour disposable in order to do
that work.
Um, and that's why we havethat's where we spend like 99%
of our time in session together.
Um, because that that is wherethe real transformation takes
place.
Okay.
Um, so some of the obvious andalso some of the not so obvious
(02:32):
signs that um, you know, you'vegot some suppressed anger or
rage kind of happening that youmay want to start to pay
attention to, right?
For your own well-being.
So um the first ones are prettyobvious, right?
You're somebody, like I said,who's a people pleaser.
You've been swallowing a lot ofyour anger and frustration to
(02:53):
keep the peace.
People always cross yourboundaries, you don't say
anything.
People always take more thanthey give, you don't say
anything.
You get frustrated, you getresentful, you're like, oh why?
Like, here I am.
I'm showing you an example ofhow this is how much I give.
Look how much I give to you,look how much I give.
And they're like, okay, great,thanks, bye.
And they don't give it back.
And it can be really frustratingbecause we always I think I
(03:16):
think all of us kind of loveothers the way we want to be
loved ourselves.
So if we're constantly giving,we almost like assume, like, yo,
like, aren't you getting it?
Like, I'm giving so much.
Like, don't you, don't you wantto reciprocate?
Like, I where's the breakdownhere?
But it doesn't work that way.
Everybody has their own lovelanguage, everybody has their
own expression of what whatloving you looks like.
(03:38):
And I I do find, you know, thisis going back to masculine and
feminine energetics, which we'renot going to get into today.
But I will say this.
Um, if you're constantly giving,people people can't give back.
Like you need to, you need tostep out of giving for a second
and be in receiving in order toreceive, right?
Masculine, feminine energy, veryimportant.
Um, but oftentimes, you know,people pleasers, we are in our
(04:00):
masculine.
We are constantly giving, we areconstantly providing, we are
constantly taking care of, we'reconstantly prioritizing
everybody else's needs andputting our own on the back
burner.
This makes us very angry andresentful.
And that tends to accumulatebecause we don't say anything
about it.
We just keep taking it out, likejust taking it and dealing with
it.
And every time we get more andmore and more and more resentful
(04:22):
until one day the pot boils overwith rage.
Um, you're easily provoked,right?
So once you get to that pointwhere the rage is really like
there, right?
And it's beneath the surface,you're easily provoked by the
smallest things.
The smallest things like ashopping cart in Walmart, like I
mentioned last week, bumping youin the butt is enough to make
you want to like explode on atotal stranger, right?
(04:44):
Because of not because of whatthey did, but because you're
holding on to so much inside ofyou.
It's that whole, it's that wholelike coffee cup theory, right?
You bump it to somebody with afull cup, that's cup's gonna
spill over.
If they've not got much in thatcup, not much is probably gonna
spill.
It's the exact same thing.
Um, you're very resentful inyour relationships.
(05:06):
You may have a lot of animositybecause of everything that
you've given, all that they'vetaken, and how undervalued,
unappreciated, and unloved youfeel in return.
Um, you probably struggle with alot of anxiety and depression.
Um, and you might also feel alot of you, you you probably try
to numb out a lot.
You probably try to distractyourself.
(05:27):
So you're probably prone to alot of addictive behaviors like
binge watching Netflix, shoppingonline, drinking like half a
bottle of wine at the end of theday just to wind down because
it's been our day, right?
Eating your feelings, right?
Um, all are getting, you know,putting all our focus and energy
into toxic relationships, right?
(05:47):
These are all ways that we tryto avoid kind of what's going on
on the inside, right?
And they're there are convenientdistractions.
There are they're there ways inwhich we avoid dealing with um
what's going on on the inside.
Um you may also feel massivedisconnectedness from yourself.
(06:09):
And this comes because um we dokeep numbing out, we do keep
ignoring, we do keepsuppressing, we do keep putting
all our focus and energy andattention on everybody else
around us instead of payingattention to what's going on
inside.
And what ends up happening is webecome really disconnected from
ourselves.
Um we also become verydisconnected from our truth
(06:30):
because, like I mentioned inlast week's episode, so you
haven't had a chance to listento that one, you know, when
we're done, go back and listento it.
You know, there's a lot of truthand guidance and wisdom that
comes from these moments ofanger.
There's a lot of ways in whichthey are guiding us.
Sorry, guys, I got a motorcyclegoing by.
It is what it is.
Um, it's a loud one too.
Um, you know, a lot of thesemoments where the anger and the
(06:54):
rage and the resentment arepopping up are really trying to
guide us to our highest good andour highest potential.
Um, but we keep ignoring them,right?
And we keep bypassing them andwe keep suppressing them and we
keep trying to pretend thatthey're not there and not giving
them the time or space that theyreally deserve.
And so we become disconnectedfrom ourselves, our life, our
(07:18):
purpose, um, and who we camehere to be in this life and and
what we came here to do.
Like for some of us, like I cantell you right now, like, if
you're somebody who struggledwith people pleasing and
worrying about what everyoneelse thinks, 99, 99% of you have
a massive purpose.
Whether it's to help yourfamily, your community, um, a
(07:40):
larger community, um, you know,maybe it's for you to do certain
type of work.
Either way, you don't go throughthis training ground for no
reason.
And, you know, you maybe on somelevel probably know that, but
the problem is that you're solike wrapped up in and worrying
about what everyone else thinks,you're not stopping to ask
yourself, well, who did I comehere to be and not worry about
(08:01):
what everyone else is gonnathink about you?
You know, that's a reallyimportant question.
You had to start askingyourself.
Um, and we're gonna be talkingabout more of that in the weeks
and and months to come, but youknow, understand that, you know,
by ignoring the anger, ignoringthe rage, ignoring the
resentment, there is so muchtruth about who you are and how
(08:23):
who you're meant to be in thislife, and how you're meant to
access your highest potential umthat you're missing out on.
Like so much.
Um, and so that's where thedisconnection comes in.
Because not only are youdisconnected from your truth and
what the the anger and and whatthe rage and the resentment is
(08:44):
trying to teach you, but you'realso disconnected from how
you're feeling because you'resuppressing it, and you're also
disconnected from why you'rehere.
Um, and so how we mend thatconnection again is to start
paying attention to what we'refeeling and what those emotions
are trying to tell us about whowe are and why we're here, and
how we can tap into what we needto do, the steps we need to
(09:06):
take, the community, theuncomfortable conversations we
need to have, the boundaries weneed to set, the truth we need
to speak, in order to be thehighest and most expressed
version of ourselves and stepinto our potential.
Okay.
And that's hard.
The ego doesn't want that.
The ego just wants to keep youfocused on you're mad because
they did this and they did thatand they said this and they took
(09:28):
that and they didn't give thatback, and blah, blah, blah,
blah.
Like you're you're caught in thestory of what it means.
And you're also caught in thestory that, oh, if I feel all
this anger, I feel, you know, ifI feel all this rage, and oh, I
must be a bad person.
I have to hide it, I have to beashamed of it.
Good people don't feel anger.
Good people, high vibrationalpeople don't feel rage.
It's bad, it's low vibe, it'stoxic.
It's not.
(09:49):
None of it is.
It's all how you choose to movethrough it that makes the
difference.
Please trust me on this.
I know it's uncomfortable, butyou have to feel all that
emotion that you've been storinginside of you, especially the
anger and the rage and theresentment, because it has so
much wisdom for you.
(10:09):
And you keep trying to pack thatshit down and ignore it and
apprentice and pretend that itdoesn't exist.
And yet all your magic, all yourtruth, all your potential is on
the other side of that.
Everything that you'restruggling for, everything that
you're fighting for, it's there.
But you have to be willing to gothrough the messy bits first.
Okay.
And that, that, my friend, isradical self-love and
(10:33):
acceptance.
It's not the manicures and thepedicures and the day spa days
and, you know, um, drinking thechamomile teas, you know, with
the flower petals.
No, I mean, yes, those thingsare all nice and sweet and we
love them.
Um, but that's not whatself-love is.
Self-love is being able to seeand witness all of who you are,
(10:56):
all of your um, all of the youryour your mental, your
emotional, your physical uhbodies, and being able to
embrace them fully as you are,and being able to recognize that
there is light and dark in allof it.
Okay, that is so important.
11-11 on the clock when I saidthat for whoever cares about
(11:19):
number synchronicities.
There you go.
Um, it might not be 11-11 whenyou listen to this, because I'll
for sure slap on an intro in amid-roll to throw you off your
game.
But when I was recording, it was11-11.
Okay.
Um, now let's talk about some ofthe not so obvious ways that
you're holding on to rage orresentment.
(11:41):
Now, I will say this like someof these signs and synchronous,
like some of these um symptomsof of um suppressed rage and
anger, they're not exclusive torage and anger.
They could be other emotions aswell or other um other um, you
know, things going on with yourenergy in general or going on
with your life in general.
(12:01):
However, um, if you know, wetalked about some of the obvious
signs and it could explain someof these not so obvious signs if
you're experiencing them aswell.
Okay, so that's kind of where Iwant you to go with that.
Um, or at least ask yourself,you know, if you're if you're
showing a lot of these signs,whether obvious or not obvious,
(12:22):
just ask yourself, you know,start to have those
conversations with yourself.
And we're gonna start to talkmore about that um in the coming
episodes.
Um, but some of the not soobvious ways that it shows up is
excessive weight loss or gain,especially weight gain, because
I do believe the energy ofemotion trans, like the weight
of the emotions that we'reholding often translates to
(12:43):
weight in the body.
Um so, yes, it could be weightloss or weight gain, but for
predominantly what I've seen andwhat I've seen in myself has
been weight gain.
And I'll be it's funny becauseas I started to do this work,
the weight slowly started tocome off this last year because
I was holding a lot of weight upuntil like last year when my
when my mom um had her fall, andshe, you know, we were putting
(13:07):
so much effort into taking careof her and also taking care of
my dad.
Um, so much excessive weight.
And now that you know I've donethe work, I haven't really
changed my lifestyle all thatmuch.
Um, little bits here and there,but for the most part, like the
weight has slowly started tocome off.
And I think because a lot of itwas actually energetic and
(13:27):
emotional weight that I wascarrying, um that since doing
this work has started to, youknow, dissipate.
Unable to sleep or fall, likefall asleep or stay asleep.
This is classic.
Um, for me, it usually presentsas not being able to stay
asleep.
Like I'll usually wake upmultiple times a night, wake up
at 3 or 4 a.m., um, also knownas the witching hour.
(13:50):
Now that could be also part ofthere's many reasons that can
happen, and that has happenedperiodically throughout my life.
I do think sometimes when we'regoing through growth spurts, we
will start to go like wake up at3, 4 a.m.
It is the witching hour, and itis when the world is quiet, and
that it is the most powerfultime when, you know, if you
(14:12):
believe in angelic realms, ifyou believe in spiritual guides,
if you believe in um your higherself, if you if you believe in a
in a source or creator, this iswhen a lot of those um energies
are able to communicate with youbecause, you know, like I said,
the world is still sleeping, youhaven't gotten like wrapped up
in your day and your to-dos.
Um, and you're kind of an openchannel at that time, a channel
(14:36):
for guidance, inspiration,creativity.
Um, so if you have a purpose inthis life, I can tell you right
now you're gonna be waking up at3, 4 a.m.
Just deal with that.
If you have a purpose thatyou've not really like harnessed
yet or not clued into that, thatis when a lot of your
communication is happening.
And I will say, like honestly,since this last full moon in
Aries, I've been woken up atthat time again repeatedly.
(14:59):
So I've been very careful inmaking sure.
Sorry, guys, I'm yawning.
In making sure that when I'mdoing my morning practice, I'm
really paying attention to whereI'm being called to go next
because I know that that'susually when that happens.
So um, nightmares are nightterrors.
So oftentimes what we're notable to feel or express while
(15:20):
we're awake, we'll feel orexpress in our sleep.
Um, so those of you who rememberum in a recent episode where I
did on betrayal, I was waking upin screaming rage fits in the
middle of the night.
Like I would wake up, like I andduring the day, I was positive.
I was, yeah, everything's great.
Life is good, we're happy,happily ever after, blah, blah,
(15:41):
blah, blah.
And then at night, it was likethis roaring rage was coming out
of me because I was denying itand I was suppressing it in my
my my daily life.
And so it was coming out while Iwas sleeping because I couldn't
at that's in that sleepingstate, you can't repress anymore
because you're in an unconsciousstate.
So you can't consciously repressanything.
(16:02):
Sorry, now I have a train goingby.
Okay, I paused for the train, sowe didn't have to listen to
that.
Um, so yeah, so what we repress,you know, in our waking life
will come out while we're asleepand in an unconscious state, um,
where we can't consciouslycontain it or control it or or
filter it anymore.
Um, and so that was happening.
(16:23):
And then as soon as, you know,that relationship ended and I
was able to finally, you know,you know, going back to what we
were talking about before, youknow, things happened,
boundaries were crossed.
I knew something was going on inthat relationship that wasn't
right.
I was getting angry and I wasignoring it, but my anger was
telling me something's notright, you need to leave.
Like you're not getting you'regetting the short end of the
(16:43):
stick in this relationship.
It's time for you to highlightit the fuck out of here and
actually take a stand for whatyou're worth, right?
And I kept ignoring it.
And that that constant ignoring,you know, anger again and again
eventually turned intoresentment and tension and
eventually turned into full-onrage.
And the rage was, you know,again, surface.
(17:06):
He did this to me, he hurt me,he betrayed me, he did blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blahblah.
And beneath all of that is like,why the fuck did you stick
around?
Leave.
What are you waiting for?
Like, take a stand, take a standfor your worth, take a stand for
your boundaries.
It's fucking time, like hightailit out of here.
(17:28):
And so I did.
And when I did that, the the theI don't know what you want to
call them, they're they weren'tnightmares and they were night
terrors, they were night ragefits when the night rage fits
stopped.
Um, and never had one ever againafter I left, ever.
And so um, even though I stillhad a lot of rage to heal, like,
(17:49):
don't get me wrong, and that waswhen, you know, the whole like
island experience and Copen Yanhappened, and then the Walmart
experience.
So it definitely happened slowlyover time in layers.
But as I started to consciouslybecome aware of the work and how
to do the work, that acceleratedvery quickly.
Um, but that's a good example ofhow, you know, the layers of
(18:13):
rage and how it moves from angerto resentment to rage and you
know, the the external, theprojection, the story versus the
message.
Those are two separate parts.
And the problem is we often getcaught in the projection and the
story and what it means aboutour worth and what it means
(18:33):
about people around us that aremaking us angry or the
situations around us that aremaking us angry, instead of
looking at what is it trying totell us about how we need to
change, show up differently,take a different action, take on
a believe a different beliefright about ourselves, hold uh,
(18:55):
share a uphold a boundary, set anew boundary, speak a truth,
whatever it is.
It is very important that we getthrough and declutter and clear
out the noise of the projectionand the blame and the story to
get to the message, and that'swhere the rage work comes in.
(19:15):
So um, let's see, what's nexthere?
I've got a list.
I'm going down my list.
All right, next we've got, oh,this is a good one inflammation
and pain in the body.
Man, I can't tell you how muchpain and inflammation I've had
in the body, like from brokenknees, not broken, like um pain,
like joint pain in the knee,joint pain in the hip, joint
(19:38):
pain in the low back, shoulder,neck, um all symptoms of stored
up and repressed anger and rage.
Um now, in many cases, obviouslythis these can be, you know,
they can be injury from, youknow, sports injuries.
(20:00):
Like I know I did get an injuredknee once from, you know, when I
did my first marathon.
Um, I did get an injury from,you know, work um and getting
like, you know, where I was allconstantly on the computer and
my, you know, wrist would hurtor my neck would hurt and had to
make some, of course, obviouslythere are physical reasons
sometimes that thesemanifestations are happening,
(20:20):
but know that there's also anenergetic reason beneath the
surface that might be feedingthem.
Okay.
The body, what we choose toignore emotionally, always
manifests physically.
Ultimately, our emotions want tobe seen, felt, and heard.
And if we're not payingattention and we're ignoring
(20:42):
them in the emotional, they willreach us through the physical.
And so all of these emotionsthat we ignore, they'll end up
they'll end up manifestingphysically.
And that's where sometimes we,you know, dis-ease in the body
creates disease, right?
Um, so we have to, we alwayshave to be very careful with
what emotions we're ignoring,what we're repressing.
(21:02):
And we have to, for our ownwell-being, mental, emotional,
and physical, start to payattention to what it is that our
emotions are trying to tell us.
Okay.
Um, food intolerances, again,same thing.
Suddenly becoming, I remember Isuddenly create, I suddenly was
gluten intolerant, where I wasnever gluten intolerant.
(21:23):
I grew up eating pasta and breadby the buckets.
Those were staples in my home inmy childhood, and they continue
to be today, but for the longesttime.
I couldn't eat gluten, then Icouldn't eat dairy, then I
couldn't eat this, and then Icouldn't eat that.
And I was breaking out in rashesand having digestive issues and
you know, um, having crampingand bloating and and oh my god,
(21:47):
so many things, so many things,all of which were caused by the
repressed emotion.
Once the emotion started toclear, the symptoms started to
dissipate.
I am now able to eat glutenagain.
I am now able to eat dairyagain.
I can pretty much eat anything Iwant without any problem, right?
Um, headaches and migraines,also another one.
(22:11):
Right?
And sometimes, you know, youI'll I'll now that I'm more
conscious of it, I'll know whenI get triggered.
If I get angry, I can actuallyfeel the pressure, like almost
shift in my head, and I can feelit right away.
And I usually know that's mysign to start paying attention
to what's going on.
Something has triggered me.
I need to pay attention to itand what it's trying to tell me.
(22:33):
And I I do this now so quick,right?
Because we're always gonna getangry.
Like boundaries are gonna getcrossed, truths are gonna be um
denied or unacknowledged, right?
Or or we're gonna we're gonnarun into something that um makes
us feel in some way, shape, orform, like I said, like a
(22:56):
boundaries bring cross orunseen, unheard, unundervalued,
or whatever.
And it's very important that westart to look at what those
moments are trying to tell usand teach us about ourselves and
how we need to maybe show updifferently, believe a different
thing, take a different action,you know, whatever it is.
(23:16):
Each time will be unique andeach time will be different, but
all moments are always trying toshift and change and transform
us in some way, shape, or form.
Um, accelerated hair loss orgraying.
So when I went through um, whenI went through the experience
of, you know, having thebetrayal happen.
(23:37):
I mean, yeah, I was alreadystarting to gray and I was
starting to gray slowly.
Um, but man, did that grayingprocess accelerate during that
betrayal period when I wasstuffing all those emotions.
And then it, and then afteragain, after I left, it slowed
down.
Not to say that it's everstopped.
I mean, I'm getting older.
I mean, you know, I'm 51 now.
(23:57):
Um, you know, obviously grayingis still a thing.
I color my hair like it's partof the process.
However, it acceleratedconsiderably when I wasn't
paying attention to what I wasfeeling internally.
And then when I started to payattention to it, it slowed down.
Again, it's continued to takeplace.
It's part of, it's part of life,you guys.
It is what it is.
Um, but it's not as acceleratedas it was when I was repressing
(24:22):
all of that rage.
Um, and then re- and then thelast time, you know, episode on
the Walmart and, you know,taking care of my mom and all
that coming to a head, um, Iactually started to like really
lose my hair.
Now, a lot of that could also befrom, you know, perimenopause.
Um, but I noticed there was avery distinct, um, you know,
(24:43):
I've been in perimenopause foryears.
Um, my hair has pretty muchstayed the same until last year
when it drastically started toshed and thin out, um, which is
the same time around my momhaving the fall.
So it could be related toperimenopause.
I don't think it was um becauseit actually has slowed down
since my mom has knock woodgotten a little bit better.
(25:04):
Um, and we've gotten throughthat very intense period where
she was like, you know, I mean,she had had she had an L2
compression fracture.
So, you know, she was in a, Ican't remember what they were
called, but the basically shewas in a body cast, like a like
an iron body cast um for liketwo, three months.
She couldn't, you know, shecouldn't eat by herself, she
couldn't stand up by herself,she couldn't, um, you know, she
(25:27):
always had to have that braceon.
Um, we had to roll her in andout of it all the time.
We couldn't even like dress herproperly, she couldn't go to the
bathroom by herself.
Like there were so many things.
Um, she needed to have spongebaths um because you know,
having and having to do all thatum brought up a lot.
And so um, you know, when wewent through that period of high
(25:50):
stress and heart tumor, like Imean, my sister, she had her own
stuff that that um happened as aresult of that.
But like I remember for me, itwas like a lot of joint pain, a
lot of hair loss.
Like I've I've probably got halfthe hair on my head that I used
to have before that all tookplace.
And now, like knock on wood, itseems to have stopped shedding,
(26:12):
right?
I also kind of feel like itmight be getting a little bit
thicker, and I'm like literallypatting my head as I do this.
Maybe not.
It's probably stayed about thesame.
Um, but I continue to do thework and I continue to do the
practice and I continue to usesome of the tools and techniques
that I'm gonna be sharing withyou, and it has made a huge
difference.
Okay.
I will say that.
(26:32):
Um, addictive behaviors andpatterns.
So again, like before, like, youknow, when I when I left that um
that relationship where thebetrayal happened, I dove into a
lot of shopping, a lot of um umdrinking, um, a lot of eating my
feelings, um, just to kind ofcope with what was going on
(26:53):
emotionally that I that I wasn'tthat I really wasn't um
processing.
Like the rage terrors hadstopped, yes.
Um, but there was still a lot ofhealing I needed to do.
Like I wasn't, I wasn't anywherenear done.
And I thought that because, youknow, oh, thank God, you know,
oh, the rage terrors are done, Ican just go and live a normal
(27:15):
life.
Um, and that's all I wanted todo.
I wanted to escape into living anormal life.
I wanted to have fun, I wantedto work on my goals, I wanted
to, you know, move forward in mycareer.
I wanted to have a great sociallife with my friends and go out
and date.
And there was so much going onon the inside that I was
repressing.
And so I ended up like, youknow, in this toxic pattern of
(27:39):
constantly going out and eatingand fancy dinners and drinks and
keeping my calendar busy and notbeing able to sit still and
literally keeping every momentof my life scheduled so that I
wouldn't have a few minutes tosit by myself and actually deal
with what was going oninternally, right?
That was my toxic pattern,right?
I was a toxic social light.
(28:02):
It was fun.
It was fun, it was good, it madefor good memories, but you know,
definitely some stuff that Ineeded to pay attention to on
the inside.
But that can show up many ways,right?
It can show up as chronicshopping, um, binge watching TV,
drinking, eating, smoking,socializing sex, toxic
relationships, um, even healthand fitness.
Like if it's too much, if it'sexcessive, that can also be a
distraction.
(28:23):
Um, and this last one is really,really, really important.
Actually, there's two more.
The the second last is um blocksin abundance, um expansion,
career growth, becauseultimately you have to remember
all that repressed rage thatyou're holding on to is how do I
(28:45):
say this?
Rage in itself is not lowvibrational.
Anger in itself is not lowvibrational, resentment in
itself is not low vibrational,but how we deal with all of
these and any emotion can bevery low vibrational, right?
If we can move through theanger, the rage, and the
resentment and use them as toolsfor our spiritual growth and
(29:08):
what they're trying to teach usabout ourselves and how we're
meant to move through this life,that's nothing low vibrational
about that.
If we choose to keep them stuckin our bodies and not deal with
them and ignore them, they willcontinue to manifest shit we
don't want.
Continue until we're we'reforced to pay attention.
Okay.
(29:29):
Or if we're projecting it ontoother people, we will, this
brings the next and the lastsign, we will actually start
attracting toxic partners in theform of um either people who
will mirror your rage.
So you're going to attract somevery angry partners or
relationships into your life orfriendships, or you're going to
(29:52):
attract um sorry, people whowill trigger it, right?
So they will trigger your angerand your rage.
By, you know, crossing yourboundaries, disrespecting you,
not giving you the love and theattention that you crave, right?
Um, making you feel unseen,unvalued, emotionally being
emotionally unavailable orghosting you, you know, anything
(30:15):
that will either be a mirror forthe rage you're holding
internally or trigger the ragethat you're holding internally,
because again, your soul, youremotional body, everything wants
you to heal.
And the only way to heal it isto see it and then to feel it.
And so it'll keep you on thistrajectory of keep having to of
(30:38):
seeing it and feeling it so thatyou can move through it and
beyond it, right?
So what we do when we worktogether is we completely
accelerate this process and makeit easy and safe and not so like
difficult to move through.
Um, so you know, pay attention,right?
Where is the rage trying topresent itself to you that you
might be ignoring?
(30:59):
You know, where are the signsthat maybe you've not been
listening to?
And what do they mean about umwhat you've been holding inside
that maybe you've not wanted topay attention to, right?
These are all really important.
And I know it's uncomfortable,and I know everything in this
world teaches you that it's badto feel rage and it's bad to
feel anger and it's bad to feelresentment.
But the only thing bad about itis what you make it mean and how
(31:22):
you choose to move through it.
If you take these emotions justas a um a guidebook, right, for
how you're meant to move throughthis life and access your
fullest potential, then none ofthat exists.
None of it.
You just have to be willing tosit in the discomfort of the
(31:46):
emotion and what the world hastold you that it means to get to
the good stuff, right?
And I promise you, the more youdo this, the easier it gets and
the more powerful you become.
Okay.
So that is it for today, youguys.
Let me know in the commentswherever you're seeing this,
what you take away from this.
And please, please, pleasealways just reach out to me at
Marie at femcoach.com or you canuh DM me at the femcast.
(32:09):
Um, I love to hear from youguys.
Let me know how this is workingfor you.
Let me know what you take awayfrom it.
Um, let me know what else you'restruggling with.
Maybe it'll become a futureepisode of the Femcast.
I don't know.
But either way, until next time,you guys, massive love.
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