July 3, 2025 • 38 mins
We’ve been told to just think positive.
To manifest through our mindset.
To smile through the ache.
But what if the very emotions you've been taught to suppress... are actually your greatest source of power?
In this raw and revolutionary episode of The Femme Cast, I’m finally sharing the story I promised I would—the one about the silent meditation retreat in Thailand that turned out to be anything but healing.
What looked like a spiritual sanctuary quickly revealed itself as a hotbed of emotional repression, toxic control, and disturbing coping mechanisms disguised as “enlightenment.” It was the moment I realized that so much of the spiritual and self-help world doesn’t heal you—it gaslights you.
You’ll hear:
- Why “just be positive” is spiritual bypassing in disguise
- The disturbing truth about what some spiritual leaders teach
- How unprocessed emotions mutate into passive-aggression, rage, and energetic blocks
- The moment I looked around and realized I wasn’t crazy—this was
- And the power of reclaiming your emotional truth as your most sacred feminine superpower
Here's what I want you to know:
You are not broken for feeling deeply.
You are not weak for crying, raging, grieving, or cracking open.
You are a f*cking force.
Your emotions are energy in motion—and when consciously felt and transmuted, they become creative fuel for love, healing, purpose, and manifestation.
We don’t manifest from vision boards.
We manifest from frequency.
And frequency comes from feeling, fully.
This is the episode that will finally help you understand why affirmations fail, why mindset work can’t touch your deeper wounds—and why reclaiming your emotional self is the most revolutionary act of your spiritual evolution.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself for love? To finally rise from the wreckage of betrayal and become the woman you were born to be?
The Sacred Reclamation Series: Betrayal Edition starts July 21st right here on The Femme Cast.
5 soul-stirring podcast episodes + a FREE live healing + activation on July 29th @ 8PM EST
This is your sign.
This is your turning point.
Claim your seat now at the FREE live healing + activation now.
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/masterclass
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I'm going off the cuff todaybecause something there was.
I have a plan, there's someepisodes I'm recording, but I
happened to see something a fewmoments ago and I was like fuck,
no, I've had enough.
I need to talk about thisbecause it's just getting to the
point where it's become soblatantly obvious how we're
(00:27):
actually and we don't mean to dothis.
I want to be clear.
Nobody means to do this, butwe're actually hindering our own
healing and evolution in thislife.
When I think back and I'll tellyou what set it off, you know me
, I'm a firm believer in usingour emotional experience to
(00:52):
create the life that we want tocreate, to use it for a powerful
mechanism for healing.
And time and time again, I getpushback on this.
I get so much fucking pushback,especially in the spiritual
community.
It's probably why I kind ofwent MIA for a little bit and I
apologize for that Like I wasn'tsure in myself at the time
(01:15):
enough to be able to kind ofhold my own and say no, no, this
is the work, I believe in thiswork and I will continue to
believe in this work.
And now I'm going to fuckingfight for this work because I
see this too much.
I see this time and time againwhere you know we, you know
somebody says something andthey're going through a
difficult time and even I'mguilty of this.
(01:36):
I am guilty of this.
I apologize to anybody thatI've ever done this to right.
When you're going through adifficult time and you know you
just share that you're goingthrough a hard time, you're
going through a difficultexperience or you're moving
through some difficult emotions,and the first thing people come
out and say is oh well, youknow, it's all about how you
(01:56):
think about it.
You just kind of switch yourmind.
You know don't give your poweraway like that.
You know you stop like that.
You know you stop Like can wejust stop the injustice that
we've like?
And again, we didn't do thisintentionally.
I just believe we were verymisguided.
Okay, and it's so funny becauseI didn't clue into it at the
(02:18):
time.
But my first clue was and Imentioned this in one of like
the last couple of episodes whenI was talking about the
meditation retreat that I did inThailand and I said that was a
story for another day.
Okay, today's the day, thereason why we ran away from that
meditation retreat.
It wasn't a very traditionalmeditation retreat and there
wasn't a traditional monk there.
It was actually somebody whohad come from the UK and became
(02:44):
a monk after living a very, verycolorful life of sex, drugs and
rock and roll for the first 50years of his life, right?
And so you know what I learnedbeing in that retreat and I
didn't see it then, but I cansee it so clearly now, right,
(03:06):
what I was seeing on thatretreat is, you know, there were
so many of us there that werethere for healing and to find
connection with somethinggreater than anything that we
could experience in real life.
We were looking for somethingmore, something bigger,
something.
We were looking for answers.
And I think we were all lookingfor ourselves, right?
Because I think when we lookfor answers, that's really what
we're looking for, becausenobody has the answers, we have
(03:28):
the answers, and I think thatthat whole experience, kind of
you know, really highlightedthat for me, right?
And so here we all are, we'reall kind of looking for answers,
we're all looking for ourselvesand what is truth, and how do
we move through life, and whatthe fuck are we supposed to do
with all this stuff that we'vegot going on?
And half of us were only therefor, I think, like the nine days
(03:51):
or the 10 days or whatever itwas.
But then there was a whole bunchof people that were there, that
lived there, that actually madea life out of being there,
right?
So typical to like saying at anashram, everybody has a seva
right, like a chore that theyhave to do in order to be there.
So some people were like youknow, they're doing their chores
(04:13):
, doing their meditation, and itjust became one.
I think one girl had been therefor three or four years,
literally, and at first it wasjust this.
You know, you walked in and itwas peaceful and delightful and
(04:34):
you know, you, immediately, youknow there was.
It was like in the middle ofthe jungle, on top of a mountain
, and you know, all you couldhear was the birds singing and
this beautiful view of thelandscape, and you know you
could see the water and thehorizon.
And I'm just like you know, wow, like what a paradise, like how
grateful I am to be here.
Right, it wore off pretty quick.
(04:56):
What we started to realize was,you know, the people who were in
charge of the retreat wereactually, like I said, it wasn't
a traditional um Thaimeditation retreat not far from
it actually Um, which was very,very, very disappointing.
Um.
So the people who are runningthe retreat, um, were very, very
(05:20):
, very, very controlling and andand really you could tell we're
on a power trip, because a lotof us are really struggling
being there.
You have to remember it's asilent retreat.
We've lost all ourcommunication.
We're in the middle of thejungle.
Many of us are feeling veryisolated, very disconnected.
You know there's a lot of stuffcoming up for us right and
immediately.
You know we're made to feellike we're bad for having a hard
(05:45):
time with being in thisexperience, right.
And then the one, the monk orthe teacher who was on site for
that week, like I said, wasn't atraditional time monk.
You know we had monk chatsevery day at four o'clock in the
afternoon.
You know our routine was waspretty much set for the entire
(06:08):
week Get up at four in themorning, you meditate until 5 am
or 6 am, then you have yourbreakfast and you meditate again
until 11.
11 in the morning, you havedinner and then that is your
last meal of the day and thenyou meditate until four o'clock
in the afternoon and then youhave monk chat, then you have
evening meditation and then at 6pm the day is done and you kind
(06:30):
of have free time.
Most people ended up going tosleep because we've been up
since four o'clock in themorning.
But you know, when it came tomonk chat, you know we were so
silent and couldn't actuallyspeak.
So what we did was, um, therewas like a bowl and they would
pass around pieces of paper andpeople would ask questions.
Um, so you know, like I mean,people asked, you know,
(06:54):
meaningful questions like how doyou find your purpose in life,
how do you heal from, you know,whatever your relationships, or
I have a lot of anger, I don'tknow what to do with it.
You know people would askthings like that.
But then you know, there'salways the class clown, right,
there's always the class clown.
And so, um, there was a groupof like young guys there, and so
(07:15):
their question was how do youstay celibate?
For, because you know you haveto take a vow of celibacy.
And what the monk proceeded tosay was just like the most
disturbing thing I had everheard.
He basically said he would youknow, one of the ways in which
(07:36):
he's managed to say celibate isto Google really graphic and I'm
not even going to say, I don'teven want to say what he was
Googling, but he was Googlingreally graphic and horrific
images, sort of fetishes, toturn off his desire for sex,
(07:58):
right?
So talk about an extremelyunhealthy number one, an
extremely unhealthy way ofdealing with what's coming up
for you and then teaching it.
Like it was just so bizarre tome and, and you know the, the
people who are at this retreatare, you know, kind of calmly
listening to this and notreacting to it.
And I'm looking around me,going, am I the only one who's
(08:20):
finding this to be extremelyfucked up?
Like, did this guy actuallyjust encourage us to like Google
, like necrophilia, like, oh myGod, like it was crazy?
Um, and so I looked around andthis is when I looked at my
friends and I was like yep, likewe're out of here, but even
(08:42):
like in, like the moment tomoment, right, like I remember
there was this one girl therewho was, you know, always so
quiet and so peaceful, and I canremember there was a moment
when we were cleaning up afterbreakfast and you know we were
picking up the dishes and Idon't know what had happened.
You know, me and my friend were, we were cleaning up after
breakfast together and I thinkwe dropped something or we
(09:04):
bumped into, anyway we didsomething and we both started
giggling like a couple of schoolgirls.
Anyway, this girl was like kindof like off to the side and she
was just kind of you know,sweeping the side and she was
just kind of you know sweepingand the minute she heard us like
giggling, the glare that shegave us, and she got so
frustrated she started bangingthe broom everywhere.
She banged the dustpan, shethrew it and she left.
(09:26):
And I'm like which brings me tomy point when we don't
acknowledge what's coming up forus, when we don't acknowledge
our feelings, when we don'tacknowledge our frustration, our
pain point, our struggle, whenwe're not willing to sit with
these feelings, what will happenis, you know, we continue this
(10:02):
cycle of thinking positive, justgot to think positive, just got
to think positive, untilsomebody like, literally like,
taps us in, like, like, not evenlike, not even like, not even a
stab in our wound, but justlike a little tickle in our
wound or in our trigger, andthen suddenly we explode with
anger and rage, and that isliterally what happens, and I've
(10:24):
seen this happen time and timeagain.
And I'm going to be honest, youguys, like the people that I
know, like I'm thinking of pastrelationships right now.
I'm thinking of pastfriendships, like the ones that
always preach, and you know, Ihad this friend of mine who
would always preach, thinkingpositive.
You know, and I can remember,you know, her being the kind of
(10:50):
person who could never have anhonest conversation, who could
never express how she was reallyfeeling, who, if something was
bothering her, she would let youknow in the most passive,
aggressive ways, trying to getyou to figure out that something
was wrong with her, rather thanjust saying, hey, can we talk
Because I'm really upset aboutsomething.
(11:10):
You become this ball of angerand resentment and rage that you
actually don't know how to movethrough and process, and so it
stays stuck.
It just stays stuck in yourenergy field, it's stuck in your
auric field and it mocks withyour emote, like your energetic
signature and the signals thatyou're putting out into the
(11:31):
world.
And the problem is and this iswhere I think you know the
spiritual community and thepersonal development community
has hindered our spiritualevolution.
There is something so importantabout moving through our
emotional experience in such away that we can use it to
(11:51):
elevate our experience, toelevate our being, to elevate
our energetic signature and ourspiritual evolution in this
lifetime and we're totallyalmost being gaslit to avoid it.
And it's funny like this is asuperpower that we didn't know
(12:12):
we had and I want to bring thisback.
This is a superpower that wedidn't know we had and I want to
bring this back Like, if youthink about it, it is a feminine
superpower because forcenturies, women have been told
we are too emotional to beleaders.
We can't be leaders becausewe're too emotional, carry too
much emotion.
We've been shaded for ouremotion.
We've been put down for ouremotion.
They've even made stories abouthow our emotions were like the
(12:36):
destruction of mankind.
You know Eve took a bite out ofthe apple because she desired
the apple and then Adam wentdown with her.
You know Pandora opened the boxand suddenly all these negative
emotions came out, even afterher husband told her don't open
the box right.
For centuries we've been gettingshamed for our emotional
(12:59):
experience when, truly, truly,truly, when we see the impacts
of not feeling our emotions andhow unhealthy it becomes.
And how unhealthy it becomesand how we resort to these
unhealthy coping mechanisms fordealing with our emotions, and
(13:20):
how it gets stuck in our energybody and then comes out in the
most like mis, likeinappropriate, misaligned ways,
when you're projecting it onsomebody who didn't even cause
it, like you start bleeding andprojecting your pain on people
who didn't even cause whateverfeeling or wound that you're
(13:41):
experiencing to begin with.
It is no wonder as a society,we're such a fucking hot mess.
Like if 2020 taught us anythingyou know, being in isolation
for all those months, sometimesin many places, years, being in
isolation and quarantine for allthat time.
If that didn't teach usanything other than if, like I
(14:03):
mean if we didn't learn anythingat that in that period.
Like, what are we even doing?
Like, I think what becameblatantly obvious to me and to
many of the people around me ishow much obvious to me and to
many of the people around me ishow much emotional baggage and
crap we're all carrying that wedon't know how to deal with, and
we keep trying to find outletsin order to deal with it,
(14:25):
outlets that are unhealthy.
We either, like you know,resort to unhealthy addictions,
and those addictions could beanything from drugs to alcohol,
to sex, to shopping.
Resort to unhealthy addictions,and those addictions could be
anything from drugs to alcohol,to sex, to shopping, to doom
scrolling, to binge watching,netflix, to over exercising.
There's so many ways we createaddiction constantly
(14:46):
entertaining ourselves,constantly being in company,
constantly partying, constantlynever being able to be alone or
to sit, still always having todo something.
These are all actuallyunhealthy, toxic patterns or
patterns of addiction, becausewe're using something to
distract us from our internalexperience.
And then, when we are feelingall that stuff internally, we
have no idea what to do with it.
(15:07):
We end up projecting it oneverybody else around us and
bleeding all over the peoplethat we love and care about the
most and taking our shit out onother people.
The key is to feel your emotions, to move through them and to
alchemize them.
They are a superpower that wedidn't know we had.
It is a superpower that hasbeen kept from us for centuries,
(15:30):
and it's seriously about timethat we start to learn how to
use it.
For me, it was all the storedrage, emotion, resentment, guilt
, shame that was literallymaking me a magnet for toxic
relationships, for emotionallyunavailable relationships, for
relationships that would lie,cheat and breadcrumb and
(15:51):
gaslight me again and again andagain.
Okay, and the reason is becauseyou know the soul is hardwired
for healing, the ego ishardwired for safety.
Okay, when your soul ishardwired for healing and
there's something that youhaven't healed, you know, every
time we experience traumaticexperience, we create what's
(16:13):
called a soul fragment, right,and this is a piece of our soul,
a piece of our energy that isstuck in that experience,
holding on to it until it'shealed and addressed, and it's,
you know, makes up beliefs aboutthat experience and what it
means, about you know, yourworth and your story and what's
available to you, and it justkind of stays stuck in that
energetic time capsule of whenthat emotional pain took place.
(16:37):
And if you've ever worked forme, these are the fragments that
we kind of go back to, like oneby one, you know, clearing all
the energy, going back, feelingthe emotions that weren't felt,
reframing the beliefs that werefelt, that were, that were
created at the time, and then,you know, reintegrating that
part of your soul back into thewhole, right, and if you've ever
(17:00):
worked with me, you know we dothis really well and you know
it's very intricate, it takestime, but you can do this.
Um, and one thing I alwayspride myself on is my clients
never work with me forever.
They work with me for a periodof time until they learn how to
do this for themselves, and andthen you know, they don't have
to stay attached to me for therest of their fucking life.
(17:21):
You know they actually learnhow to process their own
emotions in a healthy way andthey're able to take that skill
and that superpower and apply itto their everyday life.
And occasionally, yeah, theymay need to come back every now
and then, because you knowthey're moving through something
challenging.
But you know, c'est la vie,like even I get support
sometimes.
You know, have trapped emotion.
(18:00):
When we learn to fully feelthose feelings without needing
to numb or escape or distract,without needing to project it
onto somebody else, to take itout on somebody else or to make
somebody else feel somehowenergetically responsible for
how we feel and dumping all ourshit on somebody else's lap you
know that doesn't feel goodeither we learn to move through
our emotional experience andallow it to be there.
(18:22):
Let it be difficult, have agood cry, feel all the feelings,
listen to you, know all thebeliefs and everything that's
coming to the surface as youmove through it and then able
being able to transmute it andcreate with it.
You hear this said 1000 times.
(18:43):
You know it's, it's.
You know emotions are energy inmotion.
Well, if that is true, ifemotions are energy in motion,
true, if emotions are energy inmotion and energy can't be
created or destroyed, it canonly be transformed, then where
in the world did we get thisidea that when we have emotions,
(19:05):
ie energy, we're just supposedto ignore it and leave it and
just keep thinking positive,rather than actually taking the
time to sit with it for a minute?
Allow it to be there, allow itto show us what lesson it has
for us, what it's trying toteach us, what it would like us
to do differently, and thenusing that energy and
(19:27):
transmuting it and using it andturning it into something that
we can help us to create what itis that we want.
This is a superpower that hasbeen kept from us for centuries
and I really believe that inthis time, in this age that
we're in right now you know,coming out of 20, you know, I
mean coming out of 2020, it's2025.
(19:48):
But, honestly, I still feellike the world is not back to
what it was before the pandemic.
And here's the thing never willbe, but I still feel like
there's an evolution happeningthat began then.
Like I don't think theevolution is done.
Is, I think, what I'm trying tosay here Right?
(20:10):
So we've been in deep evolutionspiritual evolution since 2020.
And what that literally showedus was how much damage we have
done to ourselves by notlearning to move through our
emotions in a healthy way, andall we've been getting bombarded
with ever since is all thismessaging about not feeling our
emotions and just thinkingpositive.
(20:31):
And don't be sad, you should begrateful.
Don't don't you dare bedepressed.
You should be grateful.
And it's like no stop.
We need to start sitting withour feelings.
We need to start having, weneed to make peace with our
emotional body.
The world for too long has keptus focused on our mental body
(20:54):
and our physical body as keys tosuccess.
Right?
Who are we as humans if we'renot like constantly trying to be
smarter, be more successful,have a hotter body, like be how
like we're?
We're always like.
We're always preaching theimportance of keeping these two
(21:14):
parts of ourselves in keencondition and yet somehow, when
it comes to the emotional body,yes, we're supposed to be um,
we're supposed to just be evenkeeled and just naturally kind
of maintain that homeostasiswithout ever having to deal with
the shit that's going onbeneath the surface.
That doesn't happen.
(21:35):
It's not natural.
It's not normal.
So much of our power rests inour emotional body.
When we manifest, it is ouremotions that's doing the
manifestation.
It's not the mindset work andit's not the mantras and it's
not the affirmations and it'snot the vision boards.
Yes, oftentimes it's theemotions it evokes in you.
(21:58):
But if you're somebody who isholding on to a lot of hurt or
fear or resentment or shame whenit comes like like, let's say,
let's take um relationships, forexample right, if you're saying
and for affirmations that youknow I'm worthy of love and you
don't really believe it, what doyou think you're manifesting if
(22:20):
you put a picture up of abeautiful couple and you put it
up on your vision board, of abeautiful, beautiful couple
getting married and holdinghands on the beach at a
destination wedding, and you'relooking at the photo and you've
put that on your vision board orsomething you'd like to have?
If there's a belief in you, youknow.
If there's a wound in you thatmade you feel like you weren't
(22:40):
worthy of love.
Every time you look at thatpicture, there's a part of you
that's thinking that's not forme, guess what you manifest.
You don't manifest what you seeon the vision.
You manifest the feeling thatit evokes within you.
And if that feeling is anythingother than yes, I get to have
that.
Yes, that is safe for me.
Yes, I am worthy of that kindof love.
That's what you're going to bemanifesting.
(23:12):
So you have to look at theemotions that these visuals,
these cues, these verbal cues,visual cues evoke in you.
That's the important thing.
That is what's doing.
The manifesting Emotions areenergy in motion.
Yes, thoughts can manifest aswell.
Yes, words, you say, canmanifest as well, of course, but
emotions are so much morecharged and so much more
powerful.
Don't get me wrong.
I still do mindset work, Istill do affirmations, I still
do all those things.
I still think they add a greatdeal of value.
(23:33):
Right, but it can't be.
It's not the be all end.
All the reality is is when youreally do the work, when you
really do the work on your inner, on your emotional body, and
you move through and clear allthose sorry, I just hit my mic
and you again, you move throughand you clear all those stuck
(23:54):
energies.
You move through all those soulfragments and you interpret
what it is that they were therefor and what they were trying to
teach you, and then youreintegrate those back into your
energy and use them totransmute your experience into
what you really want.
That is a power Like.
(24:16):
When you do that, you have noidea.
Number one, how powerful youare to create, um.
And number two, to create.
And number two, you don't needthe mindset work, because the
mindset work is only neededbecause these fragments of
ourselves are still out therefloating around, holding these
negative ideas about ourselvesand about what we're worth and
(24:39):
about how worthy of love we are,how worthy of money we are.
So when you start to heal andmove through these things, what
you start to notice is you don'tneed to constantly say
affirmations, you don't need toconstantly watch what you say or
only listen to high vibe music,because you've healed the shit
(24:59):
that it was triggering when youdidn't.
The key has the everything thatwe do the affirmations, the
mindset work, the visuals, the.
It's all like painting a houseon a rotting foundation.
You have to fix the foundationfirst before you paint the house
(25:20):
.
You have to fix the foundation,patch the walls, fix the
electrical, do the plumbing.
The painting is the last thingyou do Because ultimately you
know you decorate a house that'son a sloppy foundation.
It's not going to last Onelittle windstorm, whole thing's
(25:42):
going to topple over.
Our emotional experience is theexact same thing.
We can do all and say all theaffirmations we want, we can
create all the vision boards, wecan write all the notes on our
fridge or lipstick on the mirrortelling us that we're beautiful
and worthy of love, but if wedon't actually do the work to
believe it, if we don't actuallylook at all the parts of
(26:04):
ourselves that are stuck in ourenergy field telling us that we
are unworthy of love, that wehave to beg to be chosen, that's
what we're going to becontinuing manifesting.
And the reason why wecontinuously manifest isn't
because the universe sucks andbecause it knows what we want.
Of course it knows what we want.
I don't believe that theuniverse doesn't.
And because you know it doesn't.
(26:24):
It knows what we want.
Of course it knows what we want.
I don't believe that theuniverse doesn't know what we
want.
I believe the universe knowswhat we want.
I don't believe that you knowwhen you say, when there's a
party that says, oh, I deservelove, okay, no problem, that's
what you're going to get.
I don't believe that I know alot of people do.
I don't believe that I actuallybelieve, like I said in the
(26:45):
beginning and this is I'mbringing that point home Finally
, like I don't know how many 25minutes later, the soul is
hardwired to heal.
And so when you have thisbelief that you're not worthy of
love, the soul will almost sayno, no, I'm not going to, I'm
(27:07):
not going to let you go there.
I'm going to keep attractingthe people, situations, places
and things that are going totrigger all these wounds, all
these soul fragments in you, toactivate so you can actually see
them and move through them,because I don't want this for
you.
But then the ego's like but no,but that's not safe.
But we're safe in this beliefthat we're not worthy of love.
(27:30):
We're safe not opening ourheart and putting ourselves out
there.
And this is where the battlebetween good and evil kind of
comes in.
Literally, it's within.
The battle of good and evil iswithin.
And it's not to say that theego is evil?
It's not.
It's just that it keeps us fromevolving as spiritual beings.
It keeps us from doing the workand it keeps us from healing um
, because oftentimes it reallyis super afraid of what's on the
other side of that um.
(27:53):
So do I believe that when we sayan affirmation, I am worthy of
love, and I know that my divinecounterpart is, um, you know
what I is seeking me to.
But whatever, whatever theaffirmations are, I am worthy of
love.
Love and abundance are mybirthright.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
If there's a part of you thatis saying, no, but I don't
(28:18):
deserve that, or no, I'm notsafe, I don't know that.
I believe that the universe isjust like okay, well, if that's
what you believe, that's whatyou're going to get, I believe
that the universe is saying,okay, well, if that's.
Or your soul is saying ifthat's what you believe, I'm
going to, I'm going to attractthe worst, not the worst, but
(28:41):
I'm going to keep attracting themore difficult and more
difficult lessons to trigger.
So trigger that part of youthat created that belief, so you
can shift it.
That's how I choose to look atthat.
I don't choose to look at theuniverse punishing me.
For you know, whatever mylimiting beliefs were or even
still are, there's still stuffthat I'm I work through day in
and day out.
(29:02):
There's still times that I haveto check myself.
And I don't believe that when Ihave a moment of self-doubt and
self-doubt in my worth or whatit is that I think I deserve or
incapable of creating in thislife, I don't think that the
(29:22):
universe is out there going,okay, well, if that's what you
believe, that's what you'regoing to get.
I think the universe and mysoul are out there saying, okay,
well, if that's what youbelieve, we're going to fix that
.
And you know, I thinkultimately the lessons come.
You know they don't start verydifficult often in the beginning
, but the more you don't do thework, the more difficult the
(29:45):
lessons get.
So, yeah, it does get hardsometimes if you don't, if you
don't do the work, it can getpretty fucking uncomfortable,
you know.
But it's all, it's all to getyou to that point where you have
you're too tired to do anythingelse but move through the
emotional experience.
And I think the differencebetween you know.
(30:07):
I always say you know, we feelyour feelings.
Have a good cry, let it out,scream in the pillow.
If you have to rage it out on apage, do what you need to do to
get those emotions out.
I think what I really loveabout you know the work that I
do and you know that wholeprocess of you know, the sacred
(30:29):
reclamation of all these partsof yourself is that you know,
yes, we can purge, yes, we cancry, yes, we can let it out.
But it's also important toremember that these soul
fragments that you're tappinginto, these parts of yourself
that have been stuck in thisemotional experience for you
(30:50):
know, 5, 10, 15, 20, 30,sometimes lifetimes Sometimes
it's not even yours, you know,sometimes it's been handed down
from past lives or fromgenerations.
If you don't believe that,you'll have to just take my word
for it.
Take what resonates, leave therest.
But when we actually take thetime to acknowledge each one of
(31:17):
these pieces that are showing upfor us, and not only
acknowledging and moving throughthe emotional experience that's
been stuck for so long, butreally asking it okay, well, why
are you here?
Why?
What are you here to teach me?
What is it that you're tryingto show me that you want me to
apply to?
Like, how can I apply this tomy life today, this wisdom to my
life today, so I can createchange and transformation and
(31:38):
evolution, going forward.
And then we start to reintegratewhat those, the purpose of
those fragments were, because Ido believe all these fragments
have a purpose.
I believe they're the recipefor who we're here to become in
this life and we start toreintegrate all of that.
That's the difference betweenjust having a cry or a rage
(32:04):
session or screaming in thepillow and then waking up the
next day and just feelingexhausted and just like this
massive energetic emotionalhangover, to actually waking up
the next day and feelingelevated and excited and lit the
fuck up.
It's because we've reintegratedthat part and it's almost like
(32:34):
you've taken a huge chunk ofyour energy back that was kind
of disconnected from you for thelongest time.
So recognize this as the mostpowerful, sacred feminine
superpower that has been keptfrom us for centuries and that
is the power to move through ouremotional experience and to use
it as a source of creativeenergy.
(32:57):
That is, I think, the invitationthat is being presented to us
in this period, in this time,and that is something I think
that I am ready to fight for, nomatter who in the spiritual
community wants to come up andget me against me and say
otherwise, because I can tellyou right now, I know people who
(33:19):
have just tried to keep apositive mindset their entire
lives and the only thing thatthey've managed to accumulate is
rage and resentment that comesout in passive, aggressive ways,
because they can't actuallyarticulate it, because they
don't know how to sit with theiremotional experience.
So I don't want to choose thatfor me, I don't want that for
you guys.
(33:39):
So please, please, please,please, please, take time to
feel what's coming up for youand recognize that, even as
uncomfortable as it might be, itis serving you in the most
powerful way and it is asuperpower that is inviting you,
begging you to start to tapinto it, because I'm telling you
(34:03):
, when you do, it is absolutelydelicious.
All right, let me know in thecomments, wherever you're seeing
this, if this resonated for youand, of course, if you love
this episode, please, please,please, leave a positive rating
or review on Spotify or iTunesor wherever you're seeing this.
Until next time, you guys,massive love.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I'm going off the cuff todaybecause something there was.
I have a plan, there's someepisodes I'm recording, but I
happened to see something a fewmoments ago and I was like fuck,
no, I've had enough.
I need to talk about thisbecause it's just getting to the
point where it's become soblatantly obvious how we're
(00:27):
actually and we don't mean to dothis.
I want to be clear.
Nobody means to do this, butwe're actually hindering our own
healing and evolution in thislife.
When I think back and I'll tellyou what set it off, you know me
, I'm a firm believer in usingour emotional experience to
(00:52):
create the life that we want tocreate, to use it for a powerful
mechanism for healing.
And time and time again, I getpushback on this.
I get so much fucking pushback,especially in the spiritual
community.
It's probably why I kind ofwent MIA for a little bit and I
apologize for that Like I wasn'tsure in myself at the time
(01:15):
enough to be able to kind ofhold my own and say no, no, this
is the work, I believe in thiswork and I will continue to
believe in this work.
And now I'm going to fuckingfight for this work because I
see this too much.
I see this time and time againwhere you know we, you know
somebody says something andthey're going through a
difficult time and even I'mguilty of this.
(01:36):
I am guilty of this.
I apologize to anybody thatI've ever done this to right.
When you're going through adifficult time and you know you
just share that you're goingthrough a hard time, you're
going through a difficultexperience or you're moving
through some difficult emotions,and the first thing people come
out and say is oh well, youknow, it's all about how you
(01:56):
think about it.
You just kind of switch yourmind.
You know don't give your poweraway like that.
You know you stop like that.
You know you stop Like can wejust stop the injustice that
we've like?
And again, we didn't do thisintentionally.
I just believe we were verymisguided.
Okay, and it's so funny becauseI didn't clue into it at the
(02:18):
time.
But my first clue was and Imentioned this in one of like
the last couple of episodes whenI was talking about the
meditation retreat that I did inThailand and I said that was a
story for another day.
Okay, today's the day, thereason why we ran away from that
meditation retreat.
It wasn't a very traditionalmeditation retreat and there
wasn't a traditional monk there.
It was actually somebody whohad come from the UK and became
(02:44):
a monk after living a very, verycolorful life of sex, drugs and
rock and roll for the first 50years of his life, right?
And so you know what I learnedbeing in that retreat and I
didn't see it then, but I cansee it so clearly now, right,
(03:06):
what I was seeing on thatretreat is, you know, there were
so many of us there that werethere for healing and to find
connection with somethinggreater than anything that we
could experience in real life.
We were looking for somethingmore, something bigger,
something.
We were looking for answers.
And I think we were all lookingfor ourselves, right?
Because I think when we lookfor answers, that's really what
we're looking for, becausenobody has the answers, we have
(03:28):
the answers, and I think thatthat whole experience, kind of
you know, really highlightedthat for me, right?
And so here we all are, we'reall kind of looking for answers,
we're all looking for ourselvesand what is truth, and how do
we move through life, and whatthe fuck are we supposed to do
with all this stuff that we'vegot going on?
And half of us were only therefor, I think, like the nine days
(03:51):
or the 10 days or whatever itwas.
But then there was a whole bunchof people that were there, that
lived there, that actually madea life out of being there,
right?
So typical to like saying at anashram, everybody has a seva
right, like a chore that theyhave to do in order to be there.
So some people were like youknow, they're doing their chores
(04:13):
, doing their meditation, and itjust became one.
I think one girl had been therefor three or four years,
literally, and at first it wasjust this.
You know, you walked in and itwas peaceful and delightful and
(04:34):
you know, you, immediately, youknow there was.
It was like in the middle ofthe jungle, on top of a mountain
, and you know, all you couldhear was the birds singing and
this beautiful view of thelandscape, and you know you
could see the water and thehorizon.
And I'm just like you know, wow, like what a paradise, like how
grateful I am to be here.
Right, it wore off pretty quick.
(04:56):
What we started to realize was,you know, the people who were in
charge of the retreat wereactually, like I said, it wasn't
a traditional um Thaimeditation retreat not far from
it actually Um, which was very,very, very disappointing.
Um.
So the people who are runningthe retreat, um, were very, very
(05:20):
, very, very controlling and andand really you could tell we're
on a power trip, because a lotof us are really struggling
being there.
You have to remember it's asilent retreat.
We've lost all ourcommunication.
We're in the middle of thejungle.
Many of us are feeling veryisolated, very disconnected.
You know there's a lot of stuffcoming up for us right and
immediately.
You know we're made to feellike we're bad for having a hard
(05:45):
time with being in thisexperience, right.
And then the one, the monk orthe teacher who was on site for
that week, like I said, wasn't atraditional time monk.
You know we had monk chatsevery day at four o'clock in the
afternoon.
You know our routine was waspretty much set for the entire
(06:08):
week Get up at four in themorning, you meditate until 5 am
or 6 am, then you have yourbreakfast and you meditate again
until 11.
11 in the morning, you havedinner and then that is your
last meal of the day and thenyou meditate until four o'clock
in the afternoon and then youhave monk chat, then you have
evening meditation and then at 6pm the day is done and you kind
(06:30):
of have free time.
Most people ended up going tosleep because we've been up
since four o'clock in themorning.
But you know, when it came tomonk chat, you know we were so
silent and couldn't actuallyspeak.
So what we did was, um, therewas like a bowl and they would
pass around pieces of paper andpeople would ask questions.
Um, so you know, like I mean,people asked, you know,
(06:54):
meaningful questions like how doyou find your purpose in life,
how do you heal from, you know,whatever your relationships, or
I have a lot of anger, I don'tknow what to do with it.
You know people would askthings like that.
But then you know, there'salways the class clown, right,
there's always the class clown.
And so, um, there was a groupof like young guys there, and so
(07:15):
their question was how do youstay celibate?
For, because you know you haveto take a vow of celibacy.
And what the monk proceeded tosay was just like the most
disturbing thing I had everheard.
He basically said he would youknow, one of the ways in which
(07:36):
he's managed to say celibate isto Google really graphic and I'm
not even going to say, I don'teven want to say what he was
Googling, but he was Googlingreally graphic and horrific
images, sort of fetishes, toturn off his desire for sex,
(07:58):
right?
So talk about an extremelyunhealthy number one, an
extremely unhealthy way ofdealing with what's coming up
for you and then teaching it.
Like it was just so bizarre tome and, and you know the, the
people who are at this retreatare, you know, kind of calmly
listening to this and notreacting to it.
And I'm looking around me,going, am I the only one who's
(08:20):
finding this to be extremelyfucked up?
Like, did this guy actuallyjust encourage us to like Google
, like necrophilia, like, oh myGod, like it was crazy?
Um, and so I looked around andthis is when I looked at my
friends and I was like yep, likewe're out of here, but even
(08:42):
like in, like the moment tomoment, right, like I remember
there was this one girl therewho was, you know, always so
quiet and so peaceful, and I canremember there was a moment
when we were cleaning up afterbreakfast and you know we were
picking up the dishes and Idon't know what had happened.
You know, me and my friend were, we were cleaning up after
breakfast together and I thinkwe dropped something or we
(09:04):
bumped into, anyway we didsomething and we both started
giggling like a couple of schoolgirls.
Anyway, this girl was like kindof like off to the side and she
was just kind of you know,sweeping the side and she was
just kind of you know sweepingand the minute she heard us like
giggling, the glare that shegave us, and she got so
frustrated she started bangingthe broom everywhere.
She banged the dustpan, shethrew it and she left.
(09:26):
And I'm like which brings me tomy point when we don't
acknowledge what's coming up forus, when we don't acknowledge
our feelings, when we don'tacknowledge our frustration, our
pain point, our struggle, whenwe're not willing to sit with
these feelings, what will happenis, you know, we continue this
(10:02):
cycle of thinking positive, justgot to think positive, just got
to think positive, untilsomebody like, literally like,
taps us in, like, like, not evenlike, not even like, not even a
stab in our wound, but justlike a little tickle in our
wound or in our trigger, andthen suddenly we explode with
anger and rage, and that isliterally what happens, and I've
(10:24):
seen this happen time and timeagain.
And I'm going to be honest, youguys, like the people that I
know, like I'm thinking of pastrelationships right now.
I'm thinking of pastfriendships, like the ones that
always preach, and you know, Ihad this friend of mine who
would always preach, thinkingpositive.
You know, and I can remember,you know, her being the kind of
(10:50):
person who could never have anhonest conversation, who could
never express how she was reallyfeeling, who, if something was
bothering her, she would let youknow in the most passive,
aggressive ways, trying to getyou to figure out that something
was wrong with her, rather thanjust saying, hey, can we talk
Because I'm really upset aboutsomething.
(11:10):
You become this ball of angerand resentment and rage that you
actually don't know how to movethrough and process, and so it
stays stuck.
It just stays stuck in yourenergy field, it's stuck in your
auric field and it mocks withyour emote, like your energetic
signature and the signals thatyou're putting out into the
(11:31):
world.
And the problem is and this iswhere I think you know the
spiritual community and thepersonal development community
has hindered our spiritualevolution.
There is something so importantabout moving through our
emotional experience in such away that we can use it to
(11:51):
elevate our experience, toelevate our being, to elevate
our energetic signature and ourspiritual evolution in this
lifetime and we're totallyalmost being gaslit to avoid it.
And it's funny like this is asuperpower that we didn't know
(12:12):
we had and I want to bring thisback.
This is a superpower that wedidn't know we had and I want to
bring this back Like, if youthink about it, it is a feminine
superpower because forcenturies, women have been told
we are too emotional to beleaders.
We can't be leaders becausewe're too emotional, carry too
much emotion.
We've been shaded for ouremotion.
We've been put down for ouremotion.
They've even made stories abouthow our emotions were like the
(12:36):
destruction of mankind.
You know Eve took a bite out ofthe apple because she desired
the apple and then Adam wentdown with her.
You know Pandora opened the boxand suddenly all these negative
emotions came out, even afterher husband told her don't open
the box right.
For centuries we've been gettingshamed for our emotional
(12:59):
experience when, truly, truly,truly, when we see the impacts
of not feeling our emotions andhow unhealthy it becomes.
And how unhealthy it becomesand how we resort to these
unhealthy coping mechanisms fordealing with our emotions, and
(13:20):
how it gets stuck in our energybody and then comes out in the
most like mis, likeinappropriate, misaligned ways,
when you're projecting it onsomebody who didn't even cause
it, like you start bleeding andprojecting your pain on people
who didn't even cause whateverfeeling or wound that you're
(13:41):
experiencing to begin with.
It is no wonder as a society,we're such a fucking hot mess.
Like if 2020 taught us anythingyou know, being in isolation
for all those months, sometimesin many places, years, being in
isolation and quarantine for allthat time.
If that didn't teach usanything other than if, like I
(14:03):
mean if we didn't learn anythingat that in that period.
Like, what are we even doing?
Like, I think what becameblatantly obvious to me and to
many of the people around me ishow much obvious to me and to
many of the people around me ishow much emotional baggage and
crap we're all carrying that wedon't know how to deal with, and
we keep trying to find outletsin order to deal with it,
(14:25):
outlets that are unhealthy.
We either, like you know,resort to unhealthy addictions,
and those addictions could beanything from drugs to alcohol,
to sex, to shopping.
Resort to unhealthy addictions,and those addictions could be
anything from drugs to alcohol,to sex, to shopping, to doom
scrolling, to binge watching,netflix, to over exercising.
There's so many ways we createaddiction constantly
(14:46):
entertaining ourselves,constantly being in company,
constantly partying, constantlynever being able to be alone or
to sit, still always having todo something.
These are all actuallyunhealthy, toxic patterns or
patterns of addiction, becausewe're using something to
distract us from our internalexperience.
And then, when we are feelingall that stuff internally, we
have no idea what to do with it.
(15:07):
We end up projecting it oneverybody else around us and
bleeding all over the peoplethat we love and care about the
most and taking our shit out onother people.
The key is to feel your emotions, to move through them and to
alchemize them.
They are a superpower that wedidn't know we had.
It is a superpower that hasbeen kept from us for centuries,
(15:30):
and it's seriously about timethat we start to learn how to
use it.
For me, it was all the storedrage, emotion, resentment, guilt
, shame that was literallymaking me a magnet for toxic
relationships, for emotionallyunavailable relationships, for
relationships that would lie,cheat and breadcrumb and
(15:51):
gaslight me again and again andagain.
Okay, and the reason is becauseyou know the soul is hardwired
for healing, the ego ishardwired for safety.
Okay, when your soul ishardwired for healing and
there's something that youhaven't healed, you know, every
time we experience traumaticexperience, we create what's
(16:13):
called a soul fragment, right,and this is a piece of our soul,
a piece of our energy that isstuck in that experience,
holding on to it until it'shealed and addressed, and it's,
you know, makes up beliefs aboutthat experience and what it
means, about you know, yourworth and your story and what's
available to you, and it justkind of stays stuck in that
energetic time capsule of whenthat emotional pain took place.
(16:37):
And if you've ever worked forme, these are the fragments that
we kind of go back to, like oneby one, you know, clearing all
the energy, going back, feelingthe emotions that weren't felt,
reframing the beliefs that werefelt, that were, that were
created at the time, and then,you know, reintegrating that
part of your soul back into thewhole, right, and if you've ever
(17:00):
worked with me, you know we dothis really well and you know
it's very intricate, it takestime, but you can do this.
Um, and one thing I alwayspride myself on is my clients
never work with me forever.
They work with me for a periodof time until they learn how to
do this for themselves, and andthen you know, they don't have
to stay attached to me for therest of their fucking life.
(17:21):
You know they actually learnhow to process their own
emotions in a healthy way andthey're able to take that skill
and that superpower and apply itto their everyday life.
And occasionally, yeah, theymay need to come back every now
and then, because you knowthey're moving through something
challenging.
But you know, c'est la vie,like even I get support
sometimes.
You know, have trapped emotion.
(18:00):
When we learn to fully feelthose feelings without needing
to numb or escape or distract,without needing to project it
onto somebody else, to take itout on somebody else or to make
somebody else feel somehowenergetically responsible for
how we feel and dumping all ourshit on somebody else's lap you
know that doesn't feel goodeither we learn to move through
our emotional experience andallow it to be there.
(18:22):
Let it be difficult, have agood cry, feel all the feelings,
listen to you, know all thebeliefs and everything that's
coming to the surface as youmove through it and then able
being able to transmute it andcreate with it.
You hear this said 1000 times.
(18:43):
You know it's, it's.
You know emotions are energy inmotion.
Well, if that is true, ifemotions are energy in motion,
true, if emotions are energy inmotion and energy can't be
created or destroyed, it canonly be transformed, then where
in the world did we get thisidea that when we have emotions,
(19:05):
ie energy, we're just supposedto ignore it and leave it and
just keep thinking positive,rather than actually taking the
time to sit with it for a minute?
Allow it to be there, allow itto show us what lesson it has
for us, what it's trying toteach us, what it would like us
to do differently, and thenusing that energy and
(19:27):
transmuting it and using it andturning it into something that
we can help us to create what itis that we want.
This is a superpower that hasbeen kept from us for centuries
and I really believe that inthis time, in this age that
we're in right now you know,coming out of 20, you know, I
mean coming out of 2020, it's2025.
(19:48):
But, honestly, I still feellike the world is not back to
what it was before the pandemic.
And here's the thing never willbe, but I still feel like
there's an evolution happeningthat began then.
Like I don't think theevolution is done.
Is, I think, what I'm trying tosay here Right?
(20:10):
So we've been in deep evolutionspiritual evolution since 2020.
And what that literally showedus was how much damage we have
done to ourselves by notlearning to move through our
emotions in a healthy way, andall we've been getting bombarded
with ever since is all thismessaging about not feeling our
emotions and just thinkingpositive.
(20:31):
And don't be sad, you should begrateful.
Don't don't you dare bedepressed.
You should be grateful.
And it's like no stop.
We need to start sitting withour feelings.
We need to start having, weneed to make peace with our
emotional body.
The world for too long has keptus focused on our mental body
(20:54):
and our physical body as keys tosuccess.
Right?
Who are we as humans if we'renot like constantly trying to be
smarter, be more successful,have a hotter body, like be how
like we're?
We're always like.
We're always preaching theimportance of keeping these two
(21:14):
parts of ourselves in keencondition and yet somehow, when
it comes to the emotional body,yes, we're supposed to be um,
we're supposed to just be evenkeeled and just naturally kind
of maintain that homeostasiswithout ever having to deal with
the shit that's going onbeneath the surface.
That doesn't happen.
(21:35):
It's not natural.
It's not normal.
So much of our power rests inour emotional body.
When we manifest, it is ouremotions that's doing the
manifestation.
It's not the mindset work andit's not the mantras and it's
not the affirmations and it'snot the vision boards.
Yes, oftentimes it's theemotions it evokes in you.
(21:58):
But if you're somebody who isholding on to a lot of hurt or
fear or resentment or shame whenit comes like like, let's say,
let's take um relationships, forexample right, if you're saying
and for affirmations that youknow I'm worthy of love and you
don't really believe it, what doyou think you're manifesting if
(22:20):
you put a picture up of abeautiful couple and you put it
up on your vision board, of abeautiful, beautiful couple
getting married and holdinghands on the beach at a
destination wedding, and you'relooking at the photo and you've
put that on your vision board orsomething you'd like to have?
If there's a belief in you, youknow.
If there's a wound in you thatmade you feel like you weren't
(22:40):
worthy of love.
Every time you look at thatpicture, there's a part of you
that's thinking that's not forme, guess what you manifest.
You don't manifest what you seeon the vision.
You manifest the feeling thatit evokes within you.
And if that feeling is anythingother than yes, I get to have
that.
Yes, that is safe for me.
Yes, I am worthy of that kindof love.
That's what you're going to bemanifesting.
(23:12):
So you have to look at theemotions that these visuals,
these cues, these verbal cues,visual cues evoke in you.
That's the important thing.
That is what's doing.
The manifesting Emotions areenergy in motion.
Yes, thoughts can manifest aswell.
Yes, words, you say, canmanifest as well, of course, but
emotions are so much morecharged and so much more
powerful.
Don't get me wrong.
I still do mindset work, Istill do affirmations, I still
do all those things.
I still think they add a greatdeal of value.
(23:33):
Right, but it can't be.
It's not the be all end.
All the reality is is when youreally do the work, when you
really do the work on your inner, on your emotional body, and
you move through and clear allthose sorry, I just hit my mic
and you again, you move throughand you clear all those stuck
(23:54):
energies.
You move through all those soulfragments and you interpret
what it is that they were therefor and what they were trying to
teach you, and then youreintegrate those back into your
energy and use them totransmute your experience into
what you really want.
That is a power Like.
(24:16):
When you do that, you have noidea.
Number one, how powerful youare to create, um.
And number two, to create.
And number two, you don't needthe mindset work, because the
mindset work is only neededbecause these fragments of
ourselves are still out therefloating around, holding these
negative ideas about ourselvesand about what we're worth and
(24:39):
about how worthy of love we are,how worthy of money we are.
So when you start to heal andmove through these things, what
you start to notice is you don'tneed to constantly say
affirmations, you don't need toconstantly watch what you say or
only listen to high vibe music,because you've healed the shit
(24:59):
that it was triggering when youdidn't.
The key has the everything thatwe do the affirmations, the
mindset work, the visuals, the.
It's all like painting a houseon a rotting foundation.
You have to fix the foundationfirst before you paint the house
(25:20):
.
You have to fix the foundation,patch the walls, fix the
electrical, do the plumbing.
The painting is the last thingyou do Because ultimately you
know you decorate a house that'son a sloppy foundation.
It's not going to last Onelittle windstorm, whole thing's
(25:42):
going to topple over.
Our emotional experience is theexact same thing.
We can do all and say all theaffirmations we want, we can
create all the vision boards, wecan write all the notes on our
fridge or lipstick on the mirrortelling us that we're beautiful
and worthy of love, but if wedon't actually do the work to
believe it, if we don't actuallylook at all the parts of
(26:04):
ourselves that are stuck in ourenergy field telling us that we
are unworthy of love, that wehave to beg to be chosen, that's
what we're going to becontinuing manifesting.
And the reason why wecontinuously manifest isn't
because the universe sucks andbecause it knows what we want.
Of course it knows what we want.
I don't believe that theuniverse doesn't.
And because you know it doesn't.
(26:24):
It knows what we want.
Of course it knows what we want.
I don't believe that theuniverse doesn't know what we
want.
I believe the universe knowswhat we want.
I don't believe that you knowwhen you say, when there's a
party that says, oh, I deservelove, okay, no problem, that's
what you're going to get.
I don't believe that I know alot of people do.
I don't believe that I actuallybelieve, like I said in the
(26:45):
beginning and this is I'mbringing that point home Finally
, like I don't know how many 25minutes later, the soul is
hardwired to heal.
And so when you have thisbelief that you're not worthy of
love, the soul will almost sayno, no, I'm not going to, I'm
(27:07):
not going to let you go there.
I'm going to keep attractingthe people, situations, places
and things that are going totrigger all these wounds, all
these soul fragments in you, toactivate so you can actually see
them and move through them,because I don't want this for
you.
But then the ego's like but no,but that's not safe.
But we're safe in this beliefthat we're not worthy of love.
(27:30):
We're safe not opening ourheart and putting ourselves out
there.
And this is where the battlebetween good and evil kind of
comes in.
Literally, it's within.
The battle of good and evil iswithin.
And it's not to say that theego is evil?
It's not.
It's just that it keeps us fromevolving as spiritual beings.
It keeps us from doing the workand it keeps us from healing um
, because oftentimes it reallyis super afraid of what's on the
other side of that um.
(27:53):
So do I believe that when we sayan affirmation, I am worthy of
love, and I know that my divinecounterpart is, um, you know
what I is seeking me to.
But whatever, whatever theaffirmations are, I am worthy of
love.
Love and abundance are mybirthright.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
If there's a part of you thatis saying, no, but I don't
(28:18):
deserve that, or no, I'm notsafe, I don't know that.
I believe that the universe isjust like okay, well, if that's
what you believe, that's whatyou're going to get, I believe
that the universe is saying,okay, well, if that's.
Or your soul is saying ifthat's what you believe, I'm
going to, I'm going to attractthe worst, not the worst, but
(28:41):
I'm going to keep attracting themore difficult and more
difficult lessons to trigger.
So trigger that part of youthat created that belief, so you
can shift it.
That's how I choose to look atthat.
I don't choose to look at theuniverse punishing me.
For you know, whatever mylimiting beliefs were or even
still are, there's still stuffthat I'm I work through day in
and day out.
(29:02):
There's still times that I haveto check myself.
And I don't believe that when Ihave a moment of self-doubt and
self-doubt in my worth or whatit is that I think I deserve or
incapable of creating in thislife, I don't think that the
(29:22):
universe is out there going,okay, well, if that's what you
believe, that's what you'regoing to get.
I think the universe and mysoul are out there saying, okay,
well, if that's what youbelieve, we're going to fix that
.
And you know, I thinkultimately the lessons come.
You know they don't start verydifficult often in the beginning
, but the more you don't do thework, the more difficult the
(29:45):
lessons get.
So, yeah, it does get hardsometimes if you don't, if you
don't do the work, it can getpretty fucking uncomfortable,
you know.
But it's all, it's all to getyou to that point where you have
you're too tired to do anythingelse but move through the
emotional experience.
And I think the differencebetween you know.
(30:07):
I always say you know, we feelyour feelings.
Have a good cry, let it out,scream in the pillow.
If you have to rage it out on apage, do what you need to do to
get those emotions out.
I think what I really loveabout you know the work that I
do and you know that wholeprocess of you know, the sacred
(30:29):
reclamation of all these partsof yourself is that you know,
yes, we can purge, yes, we cancry, yes, we can let it out.
But it's also important toremember that these soul
fragments that you're tappinginto, these parts of yourself
that have been stuck in thisemotional experience for you
(30:50):
know, 5, 10, 15, 20, 30,sometimes lifetimes Sometimes
it's not even yours, you know,sometimes it's been handed down
from past lives or fromgenerations.
If you don't believe that,you'll have to just take my word
for it.
Take what resonates, leave therest.
But when we actually take thetime to acknowledge each one of
(31:17):
these pieces that are showing upfor us, and not only
acknowledging and moving throughthe emotional experience that's
been stuck for so long, butreally asking it okay, well, why
are you here?
Why?
What are you here to teach me?
What is it that you're tryingto show me that you want me to
apply to?
Like, how can I apply this tomy life today, this wisdom to my
life today, so I can createchange and transformation and
(31:38):
evolution, going forward.
And then we start to reintegratewhat those, the purpose of
those fragments were, because Ido believe all these fragments
have a purpose.
I believe they're the recipefor who we're here to become in
this life and we start toreintegrate all of that.
That's the difference betweenjust having a cry or a rage
(32:04):
session or screaming in thepillow and then waking up the
next day and just feelingexhausted and just like this
massive energetic emotionalhangover, to actually waking up
the next day and feelingelevated and excited and lit the
fuck up.
It's because we've reintegratedthat part and it's almost like
(32:34):
you've taken a huge chunk ofyour energy back that was kind
of disconnected from you for thelongest time.
So recognize this as the mostpowerful, sacred feminine
superpower that has been keptfrom us for centuries and that
is the power to move through ouremotional experience and to use
it as a source of creativeenergy.
(32:57):
That is, I think, the invitationthat is being presented to us
in this period, in this time,and that is something I think
that I am ready to fight for, nomatter who in the spiritual
community wants to come up andget me against me and say
otherwise, because I can tellyou right now, I know people who
(33:19):
have just tried to keep apositive mindset their entire
lives and the only thing thatthey've managed to accumulate is
rage and resentment that comesout in passive, aggressive ways,
because they can't actuallyarticulate it, because they
don't know how to sit with theiremotional experience.
So I don't want to choose thatfor me, I don't want that for
you guys.
(33:39):
So please, please, please,please, please, take time to
feel what's coming up for youand recognize that, even as
uncomfortable as it might be, itis serving you in the most
powerful way and it is asuperpower that is inviting you,
begging you to start to tapinto it, because I'm telling you
(34:03):
, when you do, it is absolutelydelicious.
All right, let me know in thecomments, wherever you're seeing
this, if this resonated for youand, of course, if you love
this episode, please, please,please, leave a positive rating
or review on Spotify or iTunesor wherever you're seeing this.
Until next time, you guys,massive love.
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