September 11, 2025 • 20 mins
There comes a pivotal moment in healing after betrayal when you realize something life-changing: you can never go back to who you were before—and that’s exactly where your freedom begins.
After my relationship ended, I tried everything. I clung to the same routines and lifestyle I had during the relationship, hoping it would bring me comfort. I tried to reclaim my “old self” through dating, career hustle, and distractions, thinking if I could just feel like I did before heartbreak, I’d be okay. And yet, I kept attaching to emotionally unavailable partners, spiraling deeper into heartbreak, and eventually hitting emotional rock bottom.
The harder I tried to hold it all together, the faster it fell apart. And when I finally let it all collapse, the real transformation began.
In this episode of The Femme Cast, we dive into:
🎤 The moment I realized I could never go back—and why that was actually a gift
🎤 How my pre-betrayal self had manifested the heartbreak for growth
🎤 Why chasing my old identity kept me stuck in cycles of unfulfilling connections
🎤 The breakthrough of turning fully inward, asking “What does my soul want me to do next?”
🎤 How heartbreak can unlock infinite possibilities for personal growth, confidence, and authentic power
🎤 Why embracing the woman you’re becoming is more powerful than trying to return to your past self
If you’ve been longing to return to who you were before heartbreak, this episode is your invitation to step fully into your next chapter. The woman you’re becoming carries all your wisdom—and none of your limitations.
Ready to stop shrinking for others? Let this episode be your sign → Step into your Unapologetic Era: https://thefemmecast.com/breakthrough
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
I am so excited and grateful tohave you guys here.
Welcome, if you're new.
Today I wanted to talk aboutthat specific moment when I
realized I can never go back tobeing the person that I was
before the betrayal happened and, just you know, made the
decision to start living in aweof the woman that I was becoming
(00:22):
.
And this was not an overnightprocess by any means, right, it
kind of went through differentphases, right.
So first, when the relationshipended after the betrayal,
obviously there was, you know,as I mentioned in the last
episode, I had been letting gofor quite some time.
So I felt mentally, I believedI was ready to move forward with
(00:45):
my life and to move on.
But initially what I noticed isthat I was still kind of living
life the same way.
I was still following the sameroutine, cooking the same meals,
following the same schedule,kind of like from day to day,
week to week, and I felt like Iwas still trying to maintain the
same life, even though, youknow, the landscape of my life
(01:09):
had drastically changed withthis person no longer in it,
right, and I really didn't needto maintain the same habits,
routines or schedules anymore.
Like it was kind of like, okay,like what do I want to create
for myself now?
Right, like I kind of had theopportunity to really do that.
And so, you know, when Ifinally, okay, like what do I
want to create for myself now?
Right, like I kind of had theopportunity to really do that.
And so, you know, when Ifinally, okay, I realized that
(01:29):
I'm like, okay, I don't need tobe doing this anymore.
Okay, so you know, what do Iwant to create now?
Right?
So I thought to myself, well,you know, who was I before I met
this person?
Before I met this person, I was, you know, we had been together
for quite some time, so I wasobviously a lot younger.
I was very, very, very wildlyout there dating, probably, you
(01:55):
know, not, I wouldn't say theywere situationships, I wouldn't.
Well, maybe they were.
A lot of them were probablysituationships, but, honestly,
like a lot of it was just mebeing emotionally unattached and
unavailable to a whole bunch ofpeople and just kind of getting
out there and dating andmeeting people, but never
(02:17):
actually, never actually callingin a real relationship.
And although I came across asvery confident and very outgoing
and my calendar was always fulland I always had lots of dates
to go on, but it was all verysurface level.
None of it was reallymeaningful.
(02:39):
And deep down there was a partof me that was really craving
that intimate connection withsomebody, right, but on the
surface I seemed confident, Iseemed radiant, I seemed to be
in my power and you know it wasvery easy to get out there and
get attention from men and date,and you know, keep my calendar
(03:03):
full, um, and you know my phonebook very active, right, um, my
call, my call list very active.
But you know it was all verysuperficial, um, but there was a
part of me that was craving allthat attention again, all that
confidence again, all that funagain.
(03:24):
And so I tried desperately torecreate it right, I tried
desperately to recreate the vibe.
And you know, just go back towho I was before this person
came into my life and you know,nothing I did worked Like, yeah,
I went out there and yeah, Igot attention from men and yeah,
(03:45):
I started dating a lot andstarted meeting a lot of new
people.
But you know, the level ofemotionally unavailability that
I was calling in was like nextlevel and, oddly enough, each
guy was worse than each new guywas worse than the last.
So what ended up?
And I just kept getting moreand more attached, which is
something that I didn't have thetime before.
(04:08):
So I was starting to cling tothese emotionally unavailable
men.
They would break my heart.
And then I would go out andfind the next emotionally
unavailable dude, cling to him.
He would break my heart.
Each time I would get moreattached.
Each time they would get moreemotionally unavailable to the
point where, like, by the time Iwas done, I was destroyed.
Like, emotionally I wasdestroyed.
(04:28):
Like there was so much likeheartbreak after heartbreak and
reaffirming of this belief thatI am not good enough and I am
not lovable.
That, by the like, I had hitemotional self-worth rock bottom
right by the time all was saidand done.
And so you know, I realized inthat moment I couldn't go back
(04:48):
to the person who I was beforethe relationship happened,
because too much had happenedand I had just been through so
much right.
So the next stage in this wasreally accepting that, hey, you
need to heal now.
You need to focus on yourselfnow.
You need to stop putting allyour energy into these
relationships and just startfocusing on yourself.
(05:09):
And there was a part of me,that huge part of me, that was
actually done, pouring all her.
I'm done.
I was done.
I'm done.
I'm done pouring all my energyinto these connections that
don't give me anything in return.
I'm done putting myself outthere trying to fit everyone's
expectations of who it is theythink they need to be in a
relationship with.
I am done with all of it.
(05:29):
And I just wanted to focus onmyself and what I needed in
order to feel full, in order tofeel whole, in order to feel
complete and in order to feellike my most confident and
empowered self again, not theone who's been depleted from one
relationship to the next forthe last several decades.
(05:50):
Right?
Who does that?
What does she look like?
What does she need?
What would it look like for meto become her?
And that became my focus, right, and what I realized in that
journey and obviously it was ajourney that took some time and,
and you know, there was a lotof healing and a lot of um, you
(06:11):
know, kind of rediscovery.
That happened as I, as I movedthrough the process.
But as I moved through all that,I started to realize that you
know, you've heard me talk aboutthat moment on the beach, that
where I heard that voice say tome there's so much more waiting
for you out there.
You just have to be willing.
You just have to have thecourage to go for it, you know,
or willing to be willing to gofor it.
(06:32):
I was starting to get a glimpseof what that voice was talking
about and I realized there was alot more waiting for me on the
other side and there was a lotmore that I was meant for and
there was a lot more that Icould call in that maybe I
(06:53):
didn't even think was an optionfor me before this relation.
Like before this relationship,this, probably, these things
that were trying to be calledcall in for me, like the fact
that I was going to start doingthis work and and create a
business around it and thencreate a podcast a podcast would
hit top 10% worldwide None ofthis was even like a possibility
in my mind before thisrelationship none of it.
(07:18):
And so if I had gone back to theperson, the version of me
because I remember having thatconversation with a friend of
mine one day like I just want tofeel as good as I did before I
met him.
I just want to feel as goodabout myself as I did before he
came into my life.
I just wanted to go back tothat confident on top of the
world, like literally world atmy feet, kind of attitude that I
(07:39):
had before I met this person.
But that is the exact personthat called in this relationship
to begin with, because deepdown there was still a lot of
unworthiness, even though Iwasn't paying attention to it,
and that's why this relationshipcame into my life.
And there was also a part of methat, this version of me, who,
what I was before I met thisrelationship, who was thinking
(07:59):
very small about what she wantedin life and wasn't open to what
life wanted to bring her right.
I was completely blind to whatmy life path was actually going
to look like and I had thisfalse illusion based on what
everybody else was doing andwhat was considered normal and
(08:19):
that's know, that's kind of thepath I had carved out for myself
, right?
Or I believed I was going to becarving out for myself, and so
I had no idea who I was.
I had no idea who I wasbecoming.
I had no idea what wanted to bebirthed through me and created
through me, because it wasn'teven something I could
(08:42):
comprehend.
I don't even think podcastingwas a thing at the time, you
know.
I mean, like we're talking wayback, like I mean social media.
I think social media hadn'teven been a thing yet.
You know, like the world wasabout to drastically change and
I had no clue and the version ofme that I was before this
(09:03):
relationship came into my lifehad no fucking clue what she was
going to create in the futureversion of herself.
She also had no idea how muchhealing she needed to do beneath
the surface, because she wasjust so focused on finding that
person who was going toexternally validate her and make
her soothe and put all thatfear of abandonment and
(09:26):
rejection and put it at ease.
Right, because that'sessentially what was happening.
I thought this person was goingto finally put all that
insecurity and that lowself-worth that I felt all those
years, that little kick in mystomach every time I thought to
myself, wow, am I going to bealone for the rest of my life?
(09:46):
I thought this person was goingto soothe all that and they did
at first.
Right, until they didn't right,until they triggered all of it
so that I could heal from it andevolve and step into this new
and like totally like, crazy,crazy, crazy next level version
(10:07):
of not next level version ofmyself that I want, like not
beyond anything I could haveever thought and wanted at the
time.
You know what I mean.
It's like this whole, likeother version of me out of left
field that I could not have seencoming before this person came
into my life, and so that wasthe moment that I realized I
could never go back to her.
(10:28):
I wasn't meant to go back toher.
If I go back to the version ofme that I was before this
relationship happened, not onlyam I dooming myself to attract
the same type of relationshipagain, only am I dooming myself
to attract the same type ofrelationship again.
But look at all of the amazingexperiences and goals and dreams
(10:52):
and ambitions and purpose thatI would be turning my back on by
going back to that.
That's not to say that I'm notrejecting that part of me.
She was a beautiful part of mystory and my journey and she was
vital for me to take those nextsteps, and she continues to be
a part of who I am today.
But that evolution.
My God, like to turn my back onthat and say, no, I just want
(11:12):
to go back to who I was before.
I can't believe now, now Ican't believe that there was a
version of me who was crying toher best friend saying I just
wish I could go back to thewoman I was before.
No, fuck, no, not in a millionyears would I go back to love
her.
She's great, she's a beautifulgirl, she's I, I, I.
(11:36):
I commend her for her strengthand her perseverance, um and and
how far she came because shehad her own achievements right.
But, fuck no, I wouldn't goback.
Hell, no, all of this, all ofthis pain, this transformation,
this upheaval, this betrayalthat transformed me on such a
(12:01):
deep level so that I couldfinally, finally and again, you
know, having it like compound inthe months and years that
followed, with, you know, my, my, you know, going through my
douchebag era that you've heardme talk about on the podcast so
famously, which was kind of theaftermath of this relationship,
(12:22):
and trying to, you know,desperately, find that person.
Well, if this person was goingto betray me and make me feel
worse and less than I'm going togo out and continue to try and
find that person that's going tosoothe all of that for me.
And when that finally fellapart and I said, no, I just
need to be by myself and focuson myself right now, that was
(12:45):
the biggest transformation thatever took place for me in my
life, because for the first time, I was ready to do the work.
For the first time, I was readyto look at all of the
abandonment and rejection woundsthat were literally running the
show for me and taking up allof my energy, taking up all of
my resources and really start tomove through and heal all those
(13:10):
, so that not only I couldfinally break those cycles of
constantly chasing and needingthat external validation from a
partner, but also open myself upto this infinite potential that
was just aching to be bornthrough me.
And so, hell, no, I would nevergo back to that woman, because
that would be a completedisservice to all of this pain
(13:33):
and trauma and transformationthat I have been through in the
last like 10 or 15 years.
You know, biggest betrayal,that would be the biggest
betrayal of them all and I amjust not available for that.
So if you're sitting there, ifyou're somebody who's sitting
there and crying to your friendor you're listening to this
podcast and you're thinking Ijust want to be the person that
(13:55):
I was before I met them.
You know the person of you whowas radiant and confident and
felt beautiful and, on top ofthe world, great.
You will feel like that again,but not as the same version, as
a newer, more evolved,transformed version, the one who
is going to heal so deeply froma lot of those abandonment and
(14:15):
rejection wounds that led tobringing that relationship,
calling that relationship in inthe first place and also showing
you, stepping into the versionof you who sees all your
potential and how those feelingsof unworthiness and, you know,
constantly jumping through hoopsfor their validation was
(14:36):
keeping you small in so manyways.
And how much more, so much morethat you're capable of when you
fully step into and realizeyour worth.
Because that's what's reallywaiting for you on the other
side of all of this and it is sopowerful that once you get
there, I promise you you willnever, ever, ever want to go
(14:56):
back and you'll feel just asgood, you'll feel just as
confident.
You'll feel that radiance comeback, but it'll be different
because now you'll take who youwere before the relationship.
You'll also take everythingthat you learned during the
relationship and you're going touse it to alchemize and
transform yourself to theversion that you are becoming on
(15:19):
the other side, and I promiseyou that that version is so much
more powerful and so much morecapable than you ever would have
thought was possible, and shehas dreams and goals that you
may have even never considered,ever or thought like, not even
like.
It's not even a possiblereality.
(15:40):
You've never.
The thought has never evencrossed your mind.
Okay, again, the person I was.
Social media wasn't even athing.
She didn't know she was goingto start a top global podcast 10
or 15 years down the line.
She had no fucking clue, likecompletely oblivious to it.
She had no idea how the worldwas going to change, how
(16:02):
technology was going to change,what she was, the power that she
was going to step into and thelessons that she was going to
change, how technology was goingto change what she was, the
power that she was going to stepinto and the lessons that she
was going to learn.
She didn't even think she wasgoing to be teaching anybody
anything.
That wasn't even on her radar,right?
She was a fashion major for FoxSaves, you know, like totally
clueless.
(16:22):
So let it take you, let it carryyou, let it open up doors and
possibilities and potential thatyou didn't even know was there.
Consider yourself a blank slateon the other side of this and
ask yourself, tell yourself youlove the person that you were
(16:43):
before and you appreciate thestrength that the version of you
had to move through thatconnection, and I want you to
write on a blank sheet of paperwho do I want to become on the
other side of this and what isreally on my heart to create in
this life for me?
And that is who you want to bestepping into, not the girl that
(17:07):
you were before you met thisperson.
Okay, let me know whatresonates.
Email me at maria at thefemcast, at the femcoachcom I
don't know why I always get thatwrong.
Email me at maria at thefemcoachcom or DM me on
Instagram, which is actuallywhere you can usually get ahold
of me the fastest.
You can DM me at the femcastand if you love this episode,
(17:30):
please, please, please.
It would mean the world to meif you would leave a positive
rating or review on Apple,itunes or Spotify or wherever
you're seeing this.
Until next time, you guys,massive love.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
I am so excited and grateful tohave you guys here.
Welcome, if you're new.
Today I wanted to talk aboutthat specific moment when I
realized I can never go back tobeing the person that I was
before the betrayal happened and, just you know, made the
decision to start living in aweof the woman that I was becoming
(00:22):
.
And this was not an overnightprocess by any means, right, it
kind of went through differentphases, right.
So first, when the relationshipended after the betrayal,
obviously there was, you know,as I mentioned in the last
episode, I had been letting gofor quite some time.
So I felt mentally, I believedI was ready to move forward with
(00:45):
my life and to move on.
But initially what I noticed isthat I was still kind of living
life the same way.
I was still following the sameroutine, cooking the same meals,
following the same schedule,kind of like from day to day,
week to week, and I felt like Iwas still trying to maintain the
same life, even though, youknow, the landscape of my life
(01:09):
had drastically changed withthis person no longer in it,
right, and I really didn't needto maintain the same habits,
routines or schedules anymore.
Like it was kind of like, okay,like what do I want to create
for myself now?
Right, like I kind of had theopportunity to really do that.
And so, you know, when Ifinally, okay, like what do I
want to create for myself now?
Right, like I kind of had theopportunity to really do that.
And so, you know, when Ifinally, okay, I realized that
(01:29):
I'm like, okay, I don't need tobe doing this anymore.
Okay, so you know, what do Iwant to create now?
Right?
So I thought to myself, well,you know, who was I before I met
this person?
Before I met this person, I was, you know, we had been together
for quite some time, so I wasobviously a lot younger.
I was very, very, very wildlyout there dating, probably, you
(01:55):
know, not, I wouldn't say theywere situationships, I wouldn't.
Well, maybe they were.
A lot of them were probablysituationships, but, honestly,
like a lot of it was just mebeing emotionally unattached and
unavailable to a whole bunch ofpeople and just kind of getting
out there and dating andmeeting people, but never
(02:17):
actually, never actually callingin a real relationship.
And although I came across asvery confident and very outgoing
and my calendar was always fulland I always had lots of dates
to go on, but it was all verysurface level.
None of it was reallymeaningful.
(02:39):
And deep down there was a partof me that was really craving
that intimate connection withsomebody, right, but on the
surface I seemed confident, Iseemed radiant, I seemed to be
in my power and you know it wasvery easy to get out there and
get attention from men and date,and you know, keep my calendar
(03:03):
full, um, and you know my phonebook very active, right, um, my
call, my call list very active.
But you know it was all verysuperficial, um, but there was a
part of me that was craving allthat attention again, all that
confidence again, all that funagain.
(03:24):
And so I tried desperately torecreate it right, I tried
desperately to recreate the vibe.
And you know, just go back towho I was before this person
came into my life and you know,nothing I did worked Like, yeah,
I went out there and yeah, Igot attention from men and yeah,
(03:45):
I started dating a lot andstarted meeting a lot of new
people.
But you know, the level ofemotionally unavailability that
I was calling in was like nextlevel and, oddly enough, each
guy was worse than each new guywas worse than the last.
So what ended up?
And I just kept getting moreand more attached, which is
something that I didn't have thetime before.
(04:08):
So I was starting to cling tothese emotionally unavailable
men.
They would break my heart.
And then I would go out andfind the next emotionally
unavailable dude, cling to him.
He would break my heart.
Each time I would get moreattached.
Each time they would get moreemotionally unavailable to the
point where, like, by the time Iwas done, I was destroyed.
Like, emotionally I wasdestroyed.
(04:28):
Like there was so much likeheartbreak after heartbreak and
reaffirming of this belief thatI am not good enough and I am
not lovable.
That, by the like, I had hitemotional self-worth rock bottom
right by the time all was saidand done.
And so you know, I realized inthat moment I couldn't go back
(04:48):
to the person who I was beforethe relationship happened,
because too much had happenedand I had just been through so
much right.
So the next stage in this wasreally accepting that, hey, you
need to heal now.
You need to focus on yourselfnow.
You need to stop putting allyour energy into these
relationships and just startfocusing on yourself.
(05:09):
And there was a part of me,that huge part of me, that was
actually done, pouring all her.
I'm done.
I was done.
I'm done.
I'm done pouring all my energyinto these connections that
don't give me anything in return.
I'm done putting myself outthere trying to fit everyone's
expectations of who it is theythink they need to be in a
relationship with.
I am done with all of it.
(05:29):
And I just wanted to focus onmyself and what I needed in
order to feel full, in order tofeel whole, in order to feel
complete and in order to feellike my most confident and
empowered self again, not theone who's been depleted from one
relationship to the next forthe last several decades.
(05:50):
Right?
Who does that?
What does she look like?
What does she need?
What would it look like for meto become her?
And that became my focus, right, and what I realized in that
journey and obviously it was ajourney that took some time and,
and you know, there was a lotof healing and a lot of um, you
(06:11):
know, kind of rediscovery.
That happened as I, as I movedthrough the process.
But as I moved through all that,I started to realize that you
know, you've heard me talk aboutthat moment on the beach, that
where I heard that voice say tome there's so much more waiting
for you out there.
You just have to be willing.
You just have to have thecourage to go for it, you know,
or willing to be willing to gofor it.
(06:32):
I was starting to get a glimpseof what that voice was talking
about and I realized there was alot more waiting for me on the
other side and there was a lotmore that I was meant for and
there was a lot more that Icould call in that maybe I
(06:53):
didn't even think was an optionfor me before this relation.
Like before this relationship,this, probably, these things
that were trying to be calledcall in for me, like the fact
that I was going to start doingthis work and and create a
business around it and thencreate a podcast a podcast would
hit top 10% worldwide None ofthis was even like a possibility
in my mind before thisrelationship none of it.
(07:18):
And so if I had gone back to theperson, the version of me
because I remember having thatconversation with a friend of
mine one day like I just want tofeel as good as I did before I
met him.
I just want to feel as goodabout myself as I did before he
came into my life.
I just wanted to go back tothat confident on top of the
world, like literally world atmy feet, kind of attitude that I
(07:39):
had before I met this person.
But that is the exact personthat called in this relationship
to begin with, because deepdown there was still a lot of
unworthiness, even though Iwasn't paying attention to it,
and that's why this relationshipcame into my life.
And there was also a part of methat, this version of me, who,
what I was before I met thisrelationship, who was thinking
(07:59):
very small about what she wantedin life and wasn't open to what
life wanted to bring her right.
I was completely blind to whatmy life path was actually going
to look like and I had thisfalse illusion based on what
everybody else was doing andwhat was considered normal and
(08:19):
that's know, that's kind of thepath I had carved out for myself
, right?
Or I believed I was going to becarving out for myself, and so
I had no idea who I was.
I had no idea who I wasbecoming.
I had no idea what wanted to bebirthed through me and created
through me, because it wasn'teven something I could
(08:42):
comprehend.
I don't even think podcastingwas a thing at the time, you
know.
I mean, like we're talking wayback, like I mean social media.
I think social media hadn'teven been a thing yet.
You know, like the world wasabout to drastically change and
I had no clue and the version ofme that I was before this
(09:03):
relationship came into my lifehad no fucking clue what she was
going to create in the futureversion of herself.
She also had no idea how muchhealing she needed to do beneath
the surface, because she wasjust so focused on finding that
person who was going toexternally validate her and make
her soothe and put all thatfear of abandonment and
(09:26):
rejection and put it at ease.
Right, because that'sessentially what was happening.
I thought this person was goingto finally put all that
insecurity and that lowself-worth that I felt all those
years, that little kick in mystomach every time I thought to
myself, wow, am I going to bealone for the rest of my life?
(09:46):
I thought this person was goingto soothe all that and they did
at first.
Right, until they didn't right,until they triggered all of it
so that I could heal from it andevolve and step into this new
and like totally like, crazy,crazy, crazy next level version
(10:07):
of not next level version ofmyself that I want, like not
beyond anything I could haveever thought and wanted at the
time.
You know what I mean.
It's like this whole, likeother version of me out of left
field that I could not have seencoming before this person came
into my life, and so that wasthe moment that I realized I
could never go back to her.
(10:28):
I wasn't meant to go back toher.
If I go back to the version ofme that I was before this
relationship happened, not onlyam I dooming myself to attract
the same type of relationshipagain, only am I dooming myself
to attract the same type ofrelationship again.
But look at all of the amazingexperiences and goals and dreams
(10:52):
and ambitions and purpose thatI would be turning my back on by
going back to that.
That's not to say that I'm notrejecting that part of me.
She was a beautiful part of mystory and my journey and she was
vital for me to take those nextsteps, and she continues to be
a part of who I am today.
But that evolution.
My God, like to turn my back onthat and say, no, I just want
(11:12):
to go back to who I was before.
I can't believe now, now Ican't believe that there was a
version of me who was crying toher best friend saying I just
wish I could go back to thewoman I was before.
No, fuck, no, not in a millionyears would I go back to love
her.
She's great, she's a beautifulgirl, she's I, I, I.
(11:36):
I commend her for her strengthand her perseverance, um and and
how far she came because shehad her own achievements right.
But, fuck no, I wouldn't goback.
Hell, no, all of this, all ofthis pain, this transformation,
this upheaval, this betrayalthat transformed me on such a
(12:01):
deep level so that I couldfinally, finally and again, you
know, having it like compound inthe months and years that
followed, with, you know, my, my, you know, going through my
douchebag era that you've heardme talk about on the podcast so
famously, which was kind of theaftermath of this relationship,
(12:22):
and trying to, you know,desperately, find that person.
Well, if this person was goingto betray me and make me feel
worse and less than I'm going togo out and continue to try and
find that person that's going tosoothe all of that for me.
And when that finally fellapart and I said, no, I just
need to be by myself and focuson myself right now, that was
(12:45):
the biggest transformation thatever took place for me in my
life, because for the first time, I was ready to do the work.
For the first time, I was readyto look at all of the
abandonment and rejection woundsthat were literally running the
show for me and taking up allof my energy, taking up all of
my resources and really start tomove through and heal all those
(13:10):
, so that not only I couldfinally break those cycles of
constantly chasing and needingthat external validation from a
partner, but also open myself upto this infinite potential that
was just aching to be bornthrough me.
And so, hell, no, I would nevergo back to that woman, because
that would be a completedisservice to all of this pain
(13:33):
and trauma and transformationthat I have been through in the
last like 10 or 15 years.
You know, biggest betrayal,that would be the biggest
betrayal of them all and I amjust not available for that.
So if you're sitting there, ifyou're somebody who's sitting
there and crying to your friendor you're listening to this
podcast and you're thinking Ijust want to be the person that
(13:55):
I was before I met them.
You know the person of you whowas radiant and confident and
felt beautiful and, on top ofthe world, great.
You will feel like that again,but not as the same version, as
a newer, more evolved,transformed version, the one who
is going to heal so deeply froma lot of those abandonment and
(14:15):
rejection wounds that led tobringing that relationship,
calling that relationship in inthe first place and also showing
you, stepping into the versionof you who sees all your
potential and how those feelingsof unworthiness and, you know,
constantly jumping through hoopsfor their validation was
(14:36):
keeping you small in so manyways.
And how much more, so much morethat you're capable of when you
fully step into and realizeyour worth.
Because that's what's reallywaiting for you on the other
side of all of this and it is sopowerful that once you get
there, I promise you you willnever, ever, ever want to go
(14:56):
back and you'll feel just asgood, you'll feel just as
confident.
You'll feel that radiance comeback, but it'll be different
because now you'll take who youwere before the relationship.
You'll also take everythingthat you learned during the
relationship and you're going touse it to alchemize and
transform yourself to theversion that you are becoming on
(15:19):
the other side, and I promiseyou that that version is so much
more powerful and so much morecapable than you ever would have
thought was possible, and shehas dreams and goals that you
may have even never considered,ever or thought like, not even
like.
It's not even a possiblereality.
(15:40):
You've never.
The thought has never evencrossed your mind.
Okay, again, the person I was.
Social media wasn't even athing.
She didn't know she was goingto start a top global podcast 10
or 15 years down the line.
She had no fucking clue, likecompletely oblivious to it.
She had no idea how the worldwas going to change, how
(16:02):
technology was going to change,what she was, the power that she
was going to step into and thelessons that she was going to
change, how technology was goingto change what she was, the
power that she was going to stepinto and the lessons that she
was going to learn.
She didn't even think she wasgoing to be teaching anybody
anything.
That wasn't even on her radar,right?
She was a fashion major for FoxSaves, you know, like totally
clueless.
(16:22):
So let it take you, let it carryyou, let it open up doors and
possibilities and potential thatyou didn't even know was there.
Consider yourself a blank slateon the other side of this and
ask yourself, tell yourself youlove the person that you were
(16:43):
before and you appreciate thestrength that the version of you
had to move through thatconnection, and I want you to
write on a blank sheet of paperwho do I want to become on the
other side of this and what isreally on my heart to create in
this life for me?
And that is who you want to bestepping into, not the girl that
(17:07):
you were before you met thisperson.
Okay, let me know whatresonates.
Email me at maria at thefemcast, at the femcoachcom I
don't know why I always get thatwrong.
Email me at maria at thefemcoachcom or DM me on
Instagram, which is actuallywhere you can usually get ahold
of me the fastest.
You can DM me at the femcastand if you love this episode,
(17:30):
please, please, please.
It would mean the world to meif you would leave a positive
rating or review on Apple,itunes or Spotify or wherever
you're seeing this.
Until next time, you guys,massive love.
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