March 11, 2025 • 24 mins
Have you ever felt like the harder you chase love, the further it seems to run from you? Like every time you try to prove your worth, convince someone to choose you, or hold on tighter, they only slip further away? And faster.
In this episode of The Femme Cast, we’re diving deep into the energetics of chasing, why it never works, and how this pattern is actually by divine design—pushing you toward the real lesson or pain you’ve been avoiding. Because the truth is, every time you run after someone, you’re not just chasing them… you’re running from yourself.
We'll talk about:
- Why anything that is pursued instinctively moves away (and how this plays out in relationships)
- The subconscious craving for external validation and how to break the cycle
- How your relationships mirror your inner wounds, forcing you to confront the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding
- How moving through your emotions rather than running from them transforms your energy field and makes you effortlessly attractive
If you’ve spent years chasing unavailable love, waiting for someone to finally choose you, or feeling stuck in the exhausting cycle of wanting what doesn’t want you back—this episode is for you. We’re tearing down the illusions and getting to the core truth of what actually makes you magnetic.
🎧 Press play now. The love you seek is already seeking you—but first, you have to stop running.
PS: Stop begging to be chosen. Choose yourself instead.
You’re not here to beg, chase, or perform for the bare minimum.
You’re here to reclaim your power and become magnetic to real, soul-aligned love, success, and abundance.
Reclaim the version of you that never had to beg to be chosen.
Book your 90-minute Sacred Reclamation Intensive.
But fair warning—authentic connections, aligned opportunities, and breakthroughs in love, money, and purpose are inevitable.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST (00:00):
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
I'm so excited and gratefulthat you're here.
Welcome if you're new.
I'm very excited and I'm alsovery high strung today because I
just recorded 30 videos 30 likelittle mini videos for the
training that is launching nextweek.
(00:21):
I'm so fucking excited for thistraining.
It is so off the hook.
I am like my energy is sounhinged as a result of creating
it.
That's why I know it's aligned.
The work is truly powerful andI talk a lot about how I explain
, a lot about emotionalenergetics, but I also so the
program itself is called theLove story manifestation method,
(00:43):
magnetic love storymanifestation method.
Um, and I really teach you howto tune, how to harness the
power of emotional energetics tomanifest your ideal love story.
It is so powerful.
I've been using this for my ownpersonal um relationship
manifestation process and it isso fucking working.
You guys like, honestly, like Iwas telling I was explaining on
(01:06):
the video today how, um, Icreated this love story and this
day, this day in the life of myperfect love story and when I
kid you not, I've had thequestion on bumble, like is as
my icebreaker.
Like you describe your perfectday.
I swear 90% of these dudes aredescribing the exact same day.
(01:28):
Anywho, it works.
It's probably available by thetime you're seeing this.
Maybe the lessons haven'tdropped, I'm not sure.
When I'm posting this, I mightstill be in pre-sale, which
means it's actually a good thingbecause the content isn't
available yet, but you'll beable to get it in at a discount,
so make sure to check the shownotes for that.
(01:50):
Now onto today's episode.
I kind of wanted to talk aboutwhy we get into this pattern of,
you know, chasing relationships, and why.
Why is it that every time wechase love, why is it that every
time we chase love, we push itfurther, further, further away?
There is actually a verylogical reason.
(02:16):
First of all, it comes down toenergetics, but there's also a
very there's a reason that'sreally truly and powerfully by
divine design as to why thishappens, and we're going to get
into it, and we're also going toget into what you need to be
doing instead, and this issomething that we touch on in
the course as well.
So I'm going to give you alittle bit of nugget here, but
obviously, if you want more, ifyou want less chasing and more
(02:37):
attracting, go ahead and checkout the course.
I would love to see you inthere.
It's called the Magnetic LoveStory Manifestation Method.
Go check it out in the shownotes.
Now, why do we chase?
I spent my entire fucking lifechasing after relationships.
If I ever did the math on allthe relationships that I chased
after, waited for, tried toconvince, assumed would one day
(03:07):
come around and choose me, Icould probably, like I don't
know, raise a few children inthat time frame.
The amount of time that I'vewasted chasing after one
relationship to the next, never,ever, like this hard, never,
ever.
Letting it sink in that, hey,maybe this isn't the way to do
it.
You know, you've ever heard thesaying.
(03:27):
You know crazy is doing thesame thing and expecting
different results.
Well, crazy is constantlychasing and expecting that
you'll actually catch anythingyou won't.
Have you ever jumped in?
I mean, I don't fish, but I'massuming if you jump into a pond
and start chasing fish, theyain't coming towards you.
They're probably going toswimming like miles ahead of you
trying to get away from you, ifI'm not, if my amateur mind is
(03:48):
not mistaken.
Again, I don't, I don't dofishing, I really don't.
Just wrong, no, not for me,anyway.
So okay.
So let's talk about this for asecond, because this is a
legitimate thing.
Like people who have been stuckin this pattern of constantly
chasing, I can, I can guaranteeyou, if you're listening to this
(04:10):
right now and you've been in apattern of chasing relationships
for most of your life and I'mnot making this is not to make
fun of you, trust me, I've beenthere but I would I challenge
the person to come on here on mysocials or in the show notes or
below the show notes orwhatever in my inbox and tell me
that the harder you chase, thefaster they run.
(04:31):
Tell me that's not true.
I dare you.
I dare you to tell me a casewhere actually chasing them when
they were running for youactually worked out.
That is, at least until youstop chasing, because if it did
work out, it probably worked outwhen you stopped chasing, did
not?
Am I not right?
And there's actually alegitimate reason why this
(04:53):
happens.
First of all, it can beexplained with pure physics and
energetics.
Number one and number two.
Again, I can't stress thisenough by divine design, it is
meant to work that way.
It is supposed to work that waybecause there's something more
important for you to be doinginstead of chasing after that
(05:13):
person.
So we're going to jump rightinto it and really taking this
on as a practice alone willtransform every single one of
your relationships.
Doesn't matter what you'rechasing love, affection,
attention, affirmation,acknowledgement doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter what you'rechasing after.
(05:35):
Think of your chasing as anaddiction.
I want you to think of it thatway and that's what we're going
to get into, and we talked aboutthis a lot in the course today.
I'm so excited for this course.
Oh my God.
Okay, I got to hold it together.
So let's break it down.
So, energetically speaking,something, anytime you're in a
chaser energy, so anytime you'rechasing after something, you're
(05:58):
actually energeticallyrepelling it.
Anything that's being chased isby someone or something is
being repelled by that someoneor something.
Have you ever had anybodyaround you that had really
clingy energy and like wasalways like come, I need you, I
need you right.
What do you do?
You run for the fucking hills.
(06:18):
I don't care if you're a man ora woman.
It's not a good energy to be inthe receiving of.
And I know it's funny because apoor friend of mine was just in
a situation where they, you know, had manifested what was
described in oh, what was thename of that movie Wedding
(06:39):
Crashers, when Vince Vaughn waslike you've got a five-stage
four-alarm clinger here orsomething like that.
Literally.
My poor friend manifested afour-alarm, five-alarm clinger
and it's not good vibes, like,it's not fun, it's not a good
feeling.
And you know he was trying tobe nice about it and trying to,
(06:59):
like, you know, let him, youknow, let him down easy and you
know, be really honest and andbe fair and be respectful.
But he was not getting themessage.
It's like hello, hello, hello,constantly, constantly,
constantly messaging and chasingto the point where he like,
like, literally had to, like,you know, block the guy.
I mean, that's an extreme right, but that does happen.
(07:21):
And the reality is is that, evenif there was a chance for that
relationship to flourish intosomething, something one day,
but he just killed it by like,totally like, chasing and
attaching and clinging and beingin that needy codependent
energy that naturally justrepels, like, it's so repellent,
(07:42):
it's so off-putting to theperson on the receiving end,
even if deep down they like itand it's a bit of an ego boost,
they will still run the otherdirection because you cannot,
you cannot safely move towardssomething.
If it's chasing you, you haveto have like a balance of energy
for the two to come together.
So if you're chasing too much,they'll be running.
(08:05):
If they turn around and startchasing you, I guarantee you
you'll start running from them.
I mean it may feel good atfirst, but then when they get
too attached, they'll be running.
If they turn around and startchasing you, I guarantee you
you'll start running from them.
I mean it may feel good atfirst, but then, when they get
too attached, you'll be like howdid I get out of this?
I promise you that's whathappens.
So you know, that is just theenergetic piece.
Okay, and that is just the lawsof physics.
That's just how it works Takeit or leave it.
(08:27):
Now is the deeper meaning to whyit's all happening, and this is
where I want you to think aboutyour chasing as an addiction.
Okay, when we chase after saidindividual, for whatever reason
they're cute, they're hot,they're this, they're whatever,
I don't care, it doesn't matterwhen we chase after said
individual, it's usually becausewe are, in turn, also running
(08:50):
from ourselves.
Their running from us is only areflection of how we are
running from ourselves, and themrunning from us is also the
very thing that we need totrigger the emotion that we're
trying to soothe, that we're notpaying attention to because
we're too busy running afterthem.
How's that for a mouthful?
(09:13):
So, in reality, when we'rechasing anyone or anything, it's
because there's something we'reavoiding internally that we
need to deal with or heal ormove through and transmute, and
that is why we chase, becausethat is the work that is
(09:33):
uncomfortable as fuck and weavoid it like the plague and we
would rather have, I don't know,our eyes ripped out.
What was that saying in NotMean Girls oh, I can't remember
the name of the movie the SingAlong Pitch Perfect, when they
said or May my Vocal Cords BeRipped Out by Wolves.
(09:57):
It's like that.
Okay, when we're running aftersomething, there is something
that we're avoiding internally,and so that person is going to
keep running by divine aresomething that we're avoiding
internally, and so that personis going to keep running by
divine design, so that we areforced to look at what we're
avoiding inside.
Now we've been many of usmanaged to escape doing the
(10:18):
inner work because we just keepchasing and if we can't catch
this one, we'll chase the nextone, and then the next one and
the next one until we never stopchasing and never, ever, ever
have to look internally atwhat's going on on the inside
and what's plaguing us andwhat's hurting us and what other
emotions we've stuffed down inthere that we are not paying
attention to.
This is how emotionalenergetics actually works.
(10:39):
So you know, we keep chasing,they keep running, we keep
chasing, they keep running.
They're running from us tomirror how we're running, to
show us how we're running fromourselves.
Number one, so we see thebehavior, and number two, so
they can trigger what we'rerunning from, so we can witness
the emotion.
It is brilliant, a brilliantthought out, masterful plan to
(11:06):
get us to do the inner work.
So easier said than done, right, I get it, I know.
I know because I was in thatpattern for a very long time.
But if you're listening to thisvideo, you want to learn how to
stop that pattern, stop themfrom running, so you can
actually catch up to them.
So here's a strategy that I'mgoing to give you to do that.
(11:28):
I'm going to give you thatplain and simple here today.
You are immediately going tostop chasing, immediately, right
now, 10 seconds ago.
No more chasing, and you'regoing to go within and you're
going to ask yourself thesepowerful questions what am I
feeling?
(11:49):
Why am I feeling this way?
What made me feel this way?
What was the experience thatmade me feel this way?
What is the higher meaningbeyond why I'm feeling this way?
So what is the higher purpose?
What is the lesson here?
What is the wisdom that thisemotion is trying to to to share
with me, and how can I applythat to my life today?
(12:12):
If you were to do this everytime you start going out there
and chasing after this guy orthat guy or whatever and
actually just say, okay, youknow what, I recognize, I see
that I am chasing and I'm goingto stop now and I'm going to
just pay attention to what'sgoing on internally, you will
(12:33):
see a shift in your relationshippattern so profound.
Number one you're not going tobe chasing anymore, so they
ain't going to be running, soyou might actually be able to
catch up to them.
You may actually be able to getmore wear and less wear and
tear from put less wear and tearon your shoes.
As a result, you may actuallystart to do some of the inner
work, so you stop attractingthese types of relationships and
(12:55):
you may actually meet somebodywho actually tends to your
emotions the exact same way youdo and isn't that what we've
always wanted?
With wrapped in a pretty littlebow, that's literally all the
situation is asking for you todo, and yet is the hardest thing
to do.
And why is that?
Why is it so hard?
Why does it feel so gross?
(13:15):
Why is it so difficult?
Because I can remember when Iwas in this phase and I was
starting and I was trying tostop the chasing, knowing like,
when I finally tuned in and said, okay, something's going on
here, I got to stop chasing.
This is what's making them run.
I got to pull back.
I got to hold.
I got to, I got to get thischasing situation under control
(13:36):
and hold back.
I got to hold, I got to, I gotto get this chasing situation
under control.
And I can remember like sittingthere, like legs shaking, it
was like I was coming off ofcrack.
Okay, it was not pleasant, itwas very uncomfortable because
they were the perfectdistraction to what was going on
on the inside.
What was going on on the insidewas a lot of hurt, anger, pain,
loss, grief and eventually Ifound out a lot of hurt, anger,
(13:59):
pain, loss, grief and eventuallyI found out, a lot of anger.
I'm sorry I already said anger,rage, um, but it wasn't until I
actually sat through thediscomfort of not chasing, of
resisting the urge, of doingeverything in my power power not
to chase and look at what wasgoing on internally that the
pattern actually started to stop.
Now, it wasn't an overnight, ittook a while, but it did
(14:23):
eventually stop and the healingthat I experienced as a result
was so profound.
And this is really whatemotional energetics, you know,
boils down to.
We've stuffed down and deniedand avoided so many different
emotions for whatever reason.
And there's so many reasons whyyou know we don't process our
emotions properly.
You know whether it's becausethey're inconvenient, they're
(14:46):
uncomfortable as fuck.
We're never really taught howto and we're, most often than
not, we're actually taught halfof the things we feel are
actually bad and so we start,you know, feeling ashamed for
feeling them.
But there's so many reasons whywe hold on to and store these
emotions and they never getreally processed fully.
And the reality is, is you know,when you do the work, when you,
(15:06):
when you dive into emotionalenergetics, what you start to
realize?
That every emotion that youmove through has something for
you, it has a message, it has agift, it has a nugget that, when
applied to your life, you knowit's your guiding light in this
life, to what it is that youwant to create and how to be a
(15:29):
more empowered being and not becontrolled by all these external
elements that we allow tocontrol us because we're so
addicted to how they soothe ourdiscomfort.
And that's essentially what'shappening when we run from our
emotional experience.
And so when we can stop runningfrom that emotional experience,
(15:52):
we can stop running from thestorm and actually run face
first into it and say, okay,let's get in there, let's feel
all of this the joy, the sadness, the pain, the anger, the
frustration, the grief, theshame, the sorrow, the abundance
, the love, whatever, whateveris here, whatever is present,
(16:12):
allowing it to be there andallowing yourself to move
through it.
As I'm not even going to sayobserve it, I'm going to say
move through it withoutembodying it.
You know, I want you to movethrough it, I want you to feel
it fully, but I don't want youto take it on as part of your
identity.
I don't want you to take it onand make it a permanent fixture
(16:35):
in your energy field.
I want you to just move throughit and experience it fully and
allow it to really take up space, be seen, be heard, be
experienced.
And then, on the other side ofthat, I want you to ask yourself
what's the lesson that it hasfor you and how can you apply
that to your life today.
You know, what do you learn fromthat experience?
What do you learn from thatemotion?
What's that emotion there toteach you and how can you apply
(16:57):
that to your life?
Because if it's coming up, ifyou're chasing, there's an
emotion coming up.
And if there's an emotioncoming up, then it's trying to
teach you something.
And the sooner you stop chasingand start listening to what
your emotion is telling you andstart applying it, the sooner
the chasing will stop.
But it has got to start withyou.
(17:17):
It has got to start with youmaking the decision.
And this is really the hardpart.
The hard part is catchingyourself in the act.
It's always the catching.
Once you've caught yourself,okay, you can say, okay, fine,
I've got to do the work, I haveto ask myself these questions,
I've got to stop chasing.
Oh, my God, it's so hard.
Somebody, please give me apiece of chocolate, a chocolate
plate or a pint of ice cream,because this is hard, I don't
know if I can do this, andthat's where a lot of like my
(17:38):
food addiction came from.
Because I stopped chasing, so Istopped.
It was funny, like I swear toyou, I went from one addiction
to the other.
I went from.
I mean I think the smoking andthe addition, the addiction to
chasing partners were kind ofwent hand in hand.
And then I quit, smoking or no,the first.
I stopped quitting partner, no,I stopped chasing partners.
(17:59):
Then I became a heavy likeheavy smoker.
Like I went from smoking mildlysmoking like very heavily.
Then I quit the smoking andthen I started like binge eating
and it was just like I wasreplacing one one addiction with
the other because I wasavoiding feeling the feelings
that were beneath the surface.
And it wasn't until I startedfeeling the feelings beneath the
(18:21):
surface that everything startedto level off and peace out.
Peace out, not in the sense ofnot like that, but you know what
I mean.
And so you have to treat yourchasing like an addiction
essentially is what that meansand you also have to be mindful
(18:42):
of your other addictive patternsthat are keeping you from doing
the internal work like don'tjust stop at chasing.
Look at chronic shopping, lookat chronic eating, look at
chronic binge watchingtelevision.
Um, look at always having tosocialize, or chronically being
busy, or always having thisnever ending to do list so you
never settled down.
All these are the sameconvenient distractions that are
(19:04):
keeping us from doing the realwork which is going through and
feeling and being present withour emotional body.
And so much transformationtakes place when we can be
present with that experience andnot try to run from it, numb it
, distract ourselves from it,deny it, bury it deep down so we
pretend that it's not there.
That is truly the power of thework and it is absolutely
(19:28):
transformative and it absolutelyhas the power to transform all
of your relationships, not justyour romantic partners all of
your relationships and how youmanifest in the world and how
you be in the world and what youhave access to in the world.
But it's got to start with you.
It's got to start with lookingat what's going on internally,
(19:48):
looking at whatever pain ordiscomfort it is that you're
avoiding and allowing yourselfto peacefully and
unapologetically and you knowand non judgmentally, move
through it and experience itfully and be able to extract the
wisdom, or whatever it is thatit's trying to share with you
(20:10):
and apply it to your life today.
And when you do that, youbecome absolutely magnetic,
because now you are not runningfrom yourself anymore, now you
are paying attention, now youare listening, now you are
asking yourself what do you need?
What can I do for you?
(20:31):
How can I help you?
What um is it that you'reasking of me?
What do you want me to do foryou?
Guess what you start tomanifest more of in your life.
I gave you a hint.
Let me know in the commentsbelow, wherever you're seeing
this video or episode orwhatever.
Let me know or email me atmariathefemcoachcom, or you can
(20:52):
DM me at the Femcast.
What do you think is possiblewhen you start to treat yourself
that way?
If how people treat us is areflection of how we treat
ourselves, guess how people aregonna start treating you.
This is the key to becomingmagnetic.
This is what we dive into inthe Magnetic Love Story
Manifestation Method, and Iwould love to absolutely see you
(21:14):
in there and hear from you andsee all the magic that you can
create when you actually putthis to work for you Now.
That is all for today.
You guys, if you love thisepisode, please leave a positive
rating and review whereveryou're seeing this, and until
next time.
Massive love you guys.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome
back to the show.
I'm so excited and gratefulthat you're here.
Welcome if you're new.
I'm very excited and I'm alsovery high strung today because I
just recorded 30 videos 30 likelittle mini videos for the
training that is launching nextweek.
(00:21):
I'm so fucking excited for thistraining.
It is so off the hook.
I am like my energy is sounhinged as a result of creating
it.
That's why I know it's aligned.
The work is truly powerful andI talk a lot about how I explain
, a lot about emotionalenergetics, but I also so the
program itself is called theLove story manifestation method,
(00:43):
magnetic love storymanifestation method.
Um, and I really teach you howto tune, how to harness the
power of emotional energetics tomanifest your ideal love story.
It is so powerful.
I've been using this for my ownpersonal um relationship
manifestation process and it isso fucking working.
You guys like, honestly, like Iwas telling I was explaining on
(01:06):
the video today how, um, Icreated this love story and this
day, this day in the life of myperfect love story and when I
kid you not, I've had thequestion on bumble, like is as
my icebreaker.
Like you describe your perfectday.
I swear 90% of these dudes aredescribing the exact same day.
(01:28):
Anywho, it works.
It's probably available by thetime you're seeing this.
Maybe the lessons haven'tdropped, I'm not sure.
When I'm posting this, I mightstill be in pre-sale, which
means it's actually a good thingbecause the content isn't
available yet, but you'll beable to get it in at a discount,
so make sure to check the shownotes for that.
(01:50):
Now onto today's episode.
I kind of wanted to talk aboutwhy we get into this pattern of,
you know, chasing relationships, and why.
Why is it that every time wechase love, why is it that every
time we chase love, we push itfurther, further, further away?
There is actually a verylogical reason.
(02:16):
First of all, it comes down toenergetics, but there's also a
very there's a reason that'sreally truly and powerfully by
divine design as to why thishappens, and we're going to get
into it, and we're also going toget into what you need to be
doing instead, and this issomething that we touch on in
the course as well.
So I'm going to give you alittle bit of nugget here, but
obviously, if you want more, ifyou want less chasing and more
(02:37):
attracting, go ahead and checkout the course.
I would love to see you inthere.
It's called the Magnetic LoveStory Manifestation Method.
Go check it out in the shownotes.
Now, why do we chase?
I spent my entire fucking lifechasing after relationships.
If I ever did the math on allthe relationships that I chased
after, waited for, tried toconvince, assumed would one day
(03:07):
come around and choose me, Icould probably, like I don't
know, raise a few children inthat time frame.
The amount of time that I'vewasted chasing after one
relationship to the next, never,ever, like this hard, never,
ever.
Letting it sink in that, hey,maybe this isn't the way to do
it.
You know, you've ever heard thesaying.
(03:27):
You know crazy is doing thesame thing and expecting
different results.
Well, crazy is constantlychasing and expecting that
you'll actually catch anythingyou won't.
Have you ever jumped in?
I mean, I don't fish, but I'massuming if you jump into a pond
and start chasing fish, theyain't coming towards you.
They're probably going toswimming like miles ahead of you
trying to get away from you, ifI'm not, if my amateur mind is
(03:48):
not mistaken.
Again, I don't, I don't dofishing, I really don't.
Just wrong, no, not for me,anyway.
So okay.
So let's talk about this for asecond, because this is a
legitimate thing.
Like people who have been stuckin this pattern of constantly
chasing, I can, I can guaranteeyou, if you're listening to this
(04:10):
right now and you've been in apattern of chasing relationships
for most of your life and I'mnot making this is not to make
fun of you, trust me, I've beenthere but I would I challenge
the person to come on here on mysocials or in the show notes or
below the show notes orwhatever in my inbox and tell me
that the harder you chase, thefaster they run.
(04:31):
Tell me that's not true.
I dare you.
I dare you to tell me a casewhere actually chasing them when
they were running for youactually worked out.
That is, at least until youstop chasing, because if it did
work out, it probably worked outwhen you stopped chasing, did
not?
Am I not right?
And there's actually alegitimate reason why this
(04:53):
happens.
First of all, it can beexplained with pure physics and
energetics.
Number one and number two.
Again, I can't stress thisenough by divine design, it is
meant to work that way.
It is supposed to work that waybecause there's something more
important for you to be doinginstead of chasing after that
(05:13):
person.
So we're going to jump rightinto it and really taking this
on as a practice alone willtransform every single one of
your relationships.
Doesn't matter what you'rechasing love, affection,
attention, affirmation,acknowledgement doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter what you'rechasing after.
(05:35):
Think of your chasing as anaddiction.
I want you to think of it thatway and that's what we're going
to get into, and we talked aboutthis a lot in the course today.
I'm so excited for this course.
Oh my God.
Okay, I got to hold it together.
So let's break it down.
So, energetically speaking,something, anytime you're in a
chaser energy, so anytime you'rechasing after something, you're
(05:58):
actually energeticallyrepelling it.
Anything that's being chased isby someone or something is
being repelled by that someoneor something.
Have you ever had anybodyaround you that had really
clingy energy and like wasalways like come, I need you, I
need you right.
What do you do?
You run for the fucking hills.
(06:18):
I don't care if you're a man ora woman.
It's not a good energy to be inthe receiving of.
And I know it's funny because apoor friend of mine was just in
a situation where they, you know, had manifested what was
described in oh, what was thename of that movie Wedding
(06:39):
Crashers, when Vince Vaughn waslike you've got a five-stage
four-alarm clinger here orsomething like that.
Literally.
My poor friend manifested afour-alarm, five-alarm clinger
and it's not good vibes, like,it's not fun, it's not a good
feeling.
And you know he was trying tobe nice about it and trying to,
(06:59):
like, you know, let him, youknow, let him down easy and you
know, be really honest and andbe fair and be respectful.
But he was not getting themessage.
It's like hello, hello, hello,constantly, constantly,
constantly messaging and chasingto the point where he like,
like, literally had to, like,you know, block the guy.
I mean, that's an extreme right, but that does happen.
(07:21):
And the reality is is that, evenif there was a chance for that
relationship to flourish intosomething, something one day,
but he just killed it by like,totally like, chasing and
attaching and clinging and beingin that needy codependent
energy that naturally justrepels, like, it's so repellent,
(07:42):
it's so off-putting to theperson on the receiving end,
even if deep down they like itand it's a bit of an ego boost,
they will still run the otherdirection because you cannot,
you cannot safely move towardssomething.
If it's chasing you, you haveto have like a balance of energy
for the two to come together.
So if you're chasing too much,they'll be running.
(08:05):
If they turn around and startchasing you, I guarantee you
you'll start running from them.
I mean it may feel good atfirst, but then when they get
too attached, they'll be running.
If they turn around and startchasing you, I guarantee you
you'll start running from them.
I mean it may feel good atfirst, but then, when they get
too attached, you'll be like howdid I get out of this?
I promise you that's whathappens.
So you know, that is just theenergetic piece.
Okay, and that is just the lawsof physics.
That's just how it works Takeit or leave it.
(08:27):
Now is the deeper meaning to whyit's all happening, and this is
where I want you to think aboutyour chasing as an addiction.
Okay, when we chase after saidindividual, for whatever reason
they're cute, they're hot,they're this, they're whatever,
I don't care, it doesn't matterwhen we chase after said
individual, it's usually becausewe are, in turn, also running
(08:50):
from ourselves.
Their running from us is only areflection of how we are
running from ourselves, and themrunning from us is also the
very thing that we need totrigger the emotion that we're
trying to soothe, that we're notpaying attention to because
we're too busy running afterthem.
How's that for a mouthful?
(09:13):
So, in reality, when we'rechasing anyone or anything, it's
because there's something we'reavoiding internally that we
need to deal with or heal ormove through and transmute, and
that is why we chase, becausethat is the work that is
(09:33):
uncomfortable as fuck and weavoid it like the plague and we
would rather have, I don't know,our eyes ripped out.
What was that saying in NotMean Girls oh, I can't remember
the name of the movie the SingAlong Pitch Perfect, when they
said or May my Vocal Cords BeRipped Out by Wolves.
(09:57):
It's like that.
Okay, when we're running aftersomething, there is something
that we're avoiding internally,and so that person is going to
keep running by divine aresomething that we're avoiding
internally, and so that personis going to keep running by
divine design, so that we areforced to look at what we're
avoiding inside.
Now we've been many of usmanaged to escape doing the
(10:18):
inner work because we just keepchasing and if we can't catch
this one, we'll chase the nextone, and then the next one and
the next one until we never stopchasing and never, ever, ever
have to look internally atwhat's going on on the inside
and what's plaguing us andwhat's hurting us and what other
emotions we've stuffed down inthere that we are not paying
attention to.
This is how emotionalenergetics actually works.
(10:39):
So you know, we keep chasing,they keep running, we keep
chasing, they keep running.
They're running from us tomirror how we're running, to
show us how we're running fromourselves.
Number one, so we see thebehavior, and number two, so
they can trigger what we'rerunning from, so we can witness
the emotion.
It is brilliant, a brilliantthought out, masterful plan to
(11:06):
get us to do the inner work.
So easier said than done, right, I get it, I know.
I know because I was in thatpattern for a very long time.
But if you're listening to thisvideo, you want to learn how to
stop that pattern, stop themfrom running, so you can
actually catch up to them.
So here's a strategy that I'mgoing to give you to do that.
(11:28):
I'm going to give you thatplain and simple here today.
You are immediately going tostop chasing, immediately, right
now, 10 seconds ago.
No more chasing, and you'regoing to go within and you're
going to ask yourself thesepowerful questions what am I
feeling?
(11:49):
Why am I feeling this way?
What made me feel this way?
What was the experience thatmade me feel this way?
What is the higher meaningbeyond why I'm feeling this way?
So what is the higher purpose?
What is the lesson here?
What is the wisdom that thisemotion is trying to to to share
with me, and how can I applythat to my life today?
(12:12):
If you were to do this everytime you start going out there
and chasing after this guy orthat guy or whatever and
actually just say, okay, youknow what, I recognize, I see
that I am chasing and I'm goingto stop now and I'm going to
just pay attention to what'sgoing on internally, you will
(12:33):
see a shift in your relationshippattern so profound.
Number one you're not going tobe chasing anymore, so they
ain't going to be running, soyou might actually be able to
catch up to them.
You may actually be able to getmore wear and less wear and
tear from put less wear and tearon your shoes.
As a result, you may actuallystart to do some of the inner
work, so you stop attractingthese types of relationships and
(12:55):
you may actually meet somebodywho actually tends to your
emotions the exact same way youdo and isn't that what we've
always wanted?
With wrapped in a pretty littlebow, that's literally all the
situation is asking for you todo, and yet is the hardest thing
to do.
And why is that?
Why is it so hard?
Why does it feel so gross?
(13:15):
Why is it so difficult?
Because I can remember when Iwas in this phase and I was
starting and I was trying tostop the chasing, knowing like,
when I finally tuned in and said, okay, something's going on
here, I got to stop chasing.
This is what's making them run.
I got to pull back.
I got to hold.
I got to, I got to get thischasing situation under control
(13:36):
and hold back.
I got to hold, I got to, I gotto get this chasing situation
under control.
And I can remember like sittingthere, like legs shaking, it
was like I was coming off ofcrack.
Okay, it was not pleasant, itwas very uncomfortable because
they were the perfectdistraction to what was going on
on the inside.
What was going on on the insidewas a lot of hurt, anger, pain,
loss, grief and eventually Ifound out a lot of hurt, anger,
(13:59):
pain, loss, grief and eventuallyI found out, a lot of anger.
I'm sorry I already said anger,rage, um, but it wasn't until I
actually sat through thediscomfort of not chasing, of
resisting the urge, of doingeverything in my power power not
to chase and look at what wasgoing on internally that the
pattern actually started to stop.
Now, it wasn't an overnight, ittook a while, but it did
(14:23):
eventually stop and the healingthat I experienced as a result
was so profound.
And this is really whatemotional energetics, you know,
boils down to.
We've stuffed down and deniedand avoided so many different
emotions for whatever reason.
And there's so many reasons whyyou know we don't process our
emotions properly.
You know whether it's becausethey're inconvenient, they're
(14:46):
uncomfortable as fuck.
We're never really taught howto and we're, most often than
not, we're actually taught halfof the things we feel are
actually bad and so we start,you know, feeling ashamed for
feeling them.
But there's so many reasons whywe hold on to and store these
emotions and they never getreally processed fully.
And the reality is, is you know,when you do the work, when you,
(15:06):
when you dive into emotionalenergetics, what you start to
realize?
That every emotion that youmove through has something for
you, it has a message, it has agift, it has a nugget that, when
applied to your life, you knowit's your guiding light in this
life, to what it is that youwant to create and how to be a
(15:29):
more empowered being and not becontrolled by all these external
elements that we allow tocontrol us because we're so
addicted to how they soothe ourdiscomfort.
And that's essentially what'shappening when we run from our
emotional experience.
And so when we can stop runningfrom that emotional experience,
(15:52):
we can stop running from thestorm and actually run face
first into it and say, okay,let's get in there, let's feel
all of this the joy, the sadness, the pain, the anger, the
frustration, the grief, theshame, the sorrow, the abundance
, the love, whatever, whateveris here, whatever is present,
(16:12):
allowing it to be there andallowing yourself to move
through it.
As I'm not even going to sayobserve it, I'm going to say
move through it withoutembodying it.
You know, I want you to movethrough it, I want you to feel
it fully, but I don't want youto take it on as part of your
identity.
I don't want you to take it onand make it a permanent fixture
(16:35):
in your energy field.
I want you to just move throughit and experience it fully and
allow it to really take up space, be seen, be heard, be
experienced.
And then, on the other side ofthat, I want you to ask yourself
what's the lesson that it hasfor you and how can you apply
that to your life today.
You know, what do you learn fromthat experience?
What do you learn from thatemotion?
What's that emotion there toteach you and how can you apply
(16:57):
that to your life?
Because if it's coming up, ifyou're chasing, there's an
emotion coming up.
And if there's an emotioncoming up, then it's trying to
teach you something.
And the sooner you stop chasingand start listening to what
your emotion is telling you andstart applying it, the sooner
the chasing will stop.
But it has got to start withyou.
(17:17):
It has got to start with youmaking the decision.
And this is really the hardpart.
The hard part is catchingyourself in the act.
It's always the catching.
Once you've caught yourself,okay, you can say, okay, fine,
I've got to do the work, I haveto ask myself these questions,
I've got to stop chasing.
Oh, my God, it's so hard.
Somebody, please give me apiece of chocolate, a chocolate
plate or a pint of ice cream,because this is hard, I don't
know if I can do this, andthat's where a lot of like my
(17:38):
food addiction came from.
Because I stopped chasing, so Istopped.
It was funny, like I swear toyou, I went from one addiction
to the other.
I went from.
I mean I think the smoking andthe addition, the addiction to
chasing partners were kind ofwent hand in hand.
And then I quit, smoking or no,the first.
I stopped quitting partner, no,I stopped chasing partners.
(17:59):
Then I became a heavy likeheavy smoker.
Like I went from smoking mildlysmoking like very heavily.
Then I quit the smoking andthen I started like binge eating
and it was just like I wasreplacing one one addiction with
the other because I wasavoiding feeling the feelings
that were beneath the surface.
And it wasn't until I startedfeeling the feelings beneath the
(18:21):
surface that everything startedto level off and peace out.
Peace out, not in the sense ofnot like that, but you know what
I mean.
And so you have to treat yourchasing like an addiction
essentially is what that meansand you also have to be mindful
(18:42):
of your other addictive patternsthat are keeping you from doing
the internal work like don'tjust stop at chasing.
Look at chronic shopping, lookat chronic eating, look at
chronic binge watchingtelevision.
Um, look at always having tosocialize, or chronically being
busy, or always having thisnever ending to do list so you
never settled down.
All these are the sameconvenient distractions that are
(19:04):
keeping us from doing the realwork which is going through and
feeling and being present withour emotional body.
And so much transformationtakes place when we can be
present with that experience andnot try to run from it, numb it
, distract ourselves from it,deny it, bury it deep down so we
pretend that it's not there.
That is truly the power of thework and it is absolutely
(19:28):
transformative and it absolutelyhas the power to transform all
of your relationships, not justyour romantic partners all of
your relationships and how youmanifest in the world and how
you be in the world and what youhave access to in the world.
But it's got to start with you.
It's got to start with lookingat what's going on internally,
(19:48):
looking at whatever pain ordiscomfort it is that you're
avoiding and allowing yourselfto peacefully and
unapologetically and you knowand non judgmentally, move
through it and experience itfully and be able to extract the
wisdom, or whatever it is thatit's trying to share with you
(20:10):
and apply it to your life today.
And when you do that, youbecome absolutely magnetic,
because now you are not runningfrom yourself anymore, now you
are paying attention, now youare listening, now you are
asking yourself what do you need?
What can I do for you?
(20:31):
How can I help you?
What um is it that you'reasking of me?
What do you want me to do foryou?
Guess what you start tomanifest more of in your life.
I gave you a hint.
Let me know in the commentsbelow, wherever you're seeing
this video or episode orwhatever.
Let me know or email me atmariathefemcoachcom, or you can
(20:52):
DM me at the Femcast.
What do you think is possiblewhen you start to treat yourself
that way?
If how people treat us is areflection of how we treat
ourselves, guess how people aregonna start treating you.
This is the key to becomingmagnetic.
This is what we dive into inthe Magnetic Love Story
Manifestation Method, and Iwould love to absolutely see you
(21:14):
in there and hear from you andsee all the magic that you can
create when you actually putthis to work for you Now.
That is all for today.
You guys, if you love thisepisode, please leave a positive
rating and review whereveryou're seeing this, and until
next time.
Massive love you guys.
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