October 20, 2024 • 29 mins
Have you ever felt like you're juggling too much yet still feel unfulfilled? Join us as Nicole Star Crumpler, better known as Next Level Nic, shares her journey of transforming exhaustion into empowerment. As a wife, mother, corporate leader, and artist, Nicole opens up about the importance of self-awareness and embracing your strengths and weaknesses. Through personal anecdotes, she reveals how mentors, coaches, and a commitment to occupational integrity have played crucial roles in her path to personal growth. This conversation isn't just about finding balance—it's about redefining what true fulfillment looks like, encouraging women everywhere to prioritize self-care without guilt.
Join us as we dive deep into:
- Mindset and Coaching: Discover why having a coach is pivotal for both personal and professional growth.
- Defining "Having it All": Nicole shares how to clearly define your goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed and enhance focus.
- Focusing on One Thing: Learn the power of aligning with spiritual or core values to naturally channel various aspirations.
- Breaking Tasks Down: Jessica reveals her strategy of breaking goals into quarters for manageable and focused progress.
Nicole also opens up about her personal experiences, including her healing journey, overcoming perfectionism, and embracing self-love. We touch upon the role of community and support systems in achieving our goals and the dedication required for long-term marriages.
Don't miss the "healing moment" segment, where Nicole offers actionable advice for self-discovery, self-love, and personal development. You can connect with Nicole at https://www.instagram.com/nextlevelnic_.
Book Mentioned:
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- Leave a five-star review.
- Subscribe to the podcast.
- Share the podcast with friends.
- Tag us on social media using the handle @finallyhealedpod and let us know how you're participating in healing exercises.
Join the Waitlist for our end-of-the-year event Elevate & Thrive in 2025. https://jessicalundy.com/workshop/
Thank you for tuning in, and remember to focus on the journey of personal and marital growth for a fulfilled and balanced life!
RESOURCES
Jessica Lundy
Connect with Jessica on Instagram @jessicalundytv and follow the Podcast @FinallyHealedPod.
Needs some extra motivation? I got you. Start your day with the 'Wake Up and Win Audio Affirmations' and have Jessica as your personal cheerleader. Get Your Copy Today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nicole Crumpler (00:00):
It appears that I'm doing it all and I have it
all together, but I didn't guess.
I found myself feelingunfulfilled, feeling exhausted,
and it really took me sittingdown and saying to myself, like
is this really the plan that Godhas for you?
You know, how you show up isimportant.
You have to show upconsistently, no matter what
(00:21):
space you're in.
You know showing up as the bestversion of yourself.
You want to get it old, butjust start Right, because the
small steps start to add up Likeshout out to ET.
Jessica Lundy (00:30):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (00:31):
Right.
Like small steps, greatdistance.
Jessica Lundy (00:47):
Welcome to the Finally Healed with Jessica
Lundy podcast, where weprioritize mental health,
self-care and embracing ourhealing journey together.
Now I need you to grab listen,your coffee, your tea, get your
pen, your paper.
This episode is going to be sogood Now.
(01:10):
I told you I was going to bringsome of my special friends.
I am so grateful to be able tocall our next guest a friend.
Listen.
We have actually traveled theworld together.
Nicole Star Crumpler, aka NextLevel Nick, is an extraordinary.
(01:31):
She's a wife, she's a motherand, to be honest, her resume is
so long that it would take thewhole podcast for me to let you
know everything that she hasdone.
She is truly the definition ofa woman boss.
She has made so much headway inthe corporate space, working
(01:53):
for Fortune 500 corporations andnow she is the COO of Next
Level Speakers Academy andeverything Jeremy Anderson Group
.
And when I tell you she is thequeen with a capital Q, queen of
systems, and it is my honor, itis my pleasure to invite her to
(02:14):
the show.
Welcome, nicole, oh man.
Nicole Crumpler (02:17):
Thank you.
Thank you, jess.
It is incredible to be here.
I have been waiting for thismoment ever since I got the
invite, so, trust me, I am justas excited to be here.
Jessica Lundy (02:26):
I have been waiting you know, like for this
moment ever since I got theinvite.
So, trust me, I am just asexcited to be here.
Yeah, it is an honor to haveyou because you are a
multifaceted woman, and when Ithink about the women watching
this podcast, they are having todo it all right and we're just
trying to figure this thingcalled life out.
And so when you think aboutyour healing journey right, we
listed all of the accolades andthe amazing things that you've
(02:48):
been able to accomplish, but Iimagine that healing had to be a
part of the equation to be ableto be where you are now.
So what did that journey looklike for?
Nicole Crumpler (02:57):
you?
Yeah, for sure.
You know.
You mentioned some of thethings that I've done juggling,
uh, being a wife and a mom andhaving a job in corporate, um,
singing, dancing, playingbasketball, just doing all the
things right.
But outside, looking in uh, youtalked about it earlier what
(03:18):
did you?
How did you coin it?
What's this one?
Is the something about somebodythat's got it all together?
What was it, jess?
What's?
Jessica Lundy (03:27):
the title of this episode the System for the
Woman that Can Do it All Right.
Nicole Crumpler (03:31):
So Systems for the Woman that Can Do it All.
So outside, looking in, youknow, it appears that I'm doing
it all and I have it alltogether.
But I didn't, jess.
You know what I mean.
I didn't.
I found myself feelingunfulfilled, feeling exhausted,
yeah Right, and it really tookme sitting down and saying to
(03:52):
myself, like Nick, you have allthis stuff going on, but is this
really the plan that God hasfor you?
Yeah, you know, because in inthose moments it didn't feel
like a good plan.
Yeah, it didn't.
So getting to to this place,you know, shifting my focus and
figuring out, you know, whatreally mattered, that journey
(04:14):
was a healing journey.
you know, there were a lot ofthings that I had to adjust to
kind of get to this person yeahyou know that I, that I am now'm
, I'm just excited to share thatpart of my journey and
hopefully, you know there aresome, some nuggets, something
that people can take away fromthis that really helps them.
Jessica Lundy (04:31):
And how do we, as women, not feel guilty about
taking that first step andputting ourself first along the
journey?
Nicole Crumpler (04:40):
Yeah, for sure I think it.
It has to start with us, youknow.
Know, shout out to JeremyAnderson.
He has he's coined this phraseoccupational integrity Right
when it talks about you know,how you show up is important and
you have to show upconsistently, no matter what
space you're in.
So how you show up as a wife,how you show up as a mom, how
(05:03):
you show up as a friend, youknow, showing up as the best
version of yourself, thatintegrity is any hat that you're
wearing and that starts withfirst understanding who you are,
having self-awareness.
I think sometimes people walkaround with a filter, but I
don't know how honest thatfilter is Right.
(05:25):
So really getting like takingthe time to know who you are,
jess, like what are yourstrengths, what are your
weaknesses, and being okay withthat.
You know we all have gaps, youknow.
Shout out to my coach.
I have plenty of coaches, butwe have dark spots, we have
blind spots, you know, like wehave soft spots, but
(05:46):
understanding what our vices arelike, it's important to know
yourself first before you caneven start doing anything else.
Jessica Lundy (05:55):
Yeah, let's unpack a couple of things.
You just put a lot in there.
Why is it vital for people Ihave many coaches, many mentors,
people in my life that thatsupport me and help guide me in
the direction I need to go.
Nicole Crumpler (06:08):
Yeah.
Jessica Lundy (06:09):
You say you have many coaches.
Why is that important to you?
And then when did you realizeand I believe that's actually
probably a system, right, yeah,when did you realize like this
is a vital part of your successas an adult?
Right, absolutely.
Nicole Crumpler (06:21):
Right, absolutely.
One way to guarantee success ishaving accountability Right,
and coaches provide a layer ofaccountability.
So recently I had made adecision that I wanted to leave
so late Right, I'm just likehelp to get there.
So I got a coach Right Becausewhen James hits me every.
Monday and it's like, nick, letme see your numbers that
(06:52):
accountability is going to keepme honest, like it's going to
hold me to the fire, Right?
So any area of my life where Iwant to, you know, be
intentional about my success Irealize I can't do it by myself.
We talked about this earlierRight?
Like just having community,just having people who are there
(07:13):
to support you, because it'snot going to be perfect, jess.
So accountability, having acoach in the areas where you
want to succeed for me iscrucial.
Jessica Lundy (07:19):
Yeah, it really is vital.
It is.
And I think sometimes peoplethink you just need a coach for
the specific areas that you wantto improve in, when it comes to
business or it comes to finance.
So, like for me as a speakingcoach, people come to me and
they're like, oh man, like Iwant to do this with my speaking
business.
I want to do this and this andthis, and I'm like no, no, let's
.
Let's actually work on yourheart, let's work on your
(07:41):
mindset, let's work on yourmentality.
So I think it's important tohave a coach in a variety of
areas, someone who's going tohelp you personally, but someone
who's also going to help youprofessionally.
Now, when you think abouteveryone always says I want to
have it all right.
Nicole Crumpler (07:55):
We all want to have it all right.
Jessica Lundy (07:57):
Do you think that is possible to quote-unquote
have it all, and if so, whatneeds to be in place to actually
be able to achieve that goal?
Nicole Crumpler (08:09):
You have to define all.
I think all is too broad, it'stoo vague, like start by
defining what, all is right, sothat you can be intentional,
because if not, I feel like youcould be all over the place.
So I'll use myself as anexample.
So you know, think of NewYear's.
You have your resolution, youwant to do this, this, this,
(08:31):
this and this.
Like I had my own list ofthings I wanted to achieve,
things I wanted to accomplish,and it felt like a lot.
Jessica Lundy (08:38):
Yeah, overwhelming Right.
Nicole Crumpler (08:40):
So one it's just like you don't want to
start a plan already feelinglike man, this is a lot.
And so I said to myself I saidyou know what, nick, instead of
focusing on all of that andtrying to do everything, I made
up in my mind, jess, that I wasgoing to focus on one thing
Because, doing the reflection,doing the work, I realized if I
focus on the one thing right,that all the other things that I
(09:04):
wanted would be added onto me,because my one focus was God and
I knew if I aligned with God,then he would help me find my
purpose and I wanted him toorder my steps right.
So, I think, one getting clearon what you need to focus on so
that you can buildintentionality into the plan, so
that you can reach whateveryour all looks like, but make
(09:26):
that all small steps.
Yeah, right Because you don'twant to.
You don't want to feel theoverwhelm Like, yes, you want to
get it old, but just startsmall Right, Because the small
steps start to add up Like shoutout to ET.
Yeah, right Like small steps,great distances.
I love it.
I love it.
Jessica Lundy (09:43):
So I want everybody to make sure you did
not miss that.
It can be so easy to look atyour long to-do list and you
feel so overwhelmed and Istarted to break it down into
quarters.
So maybe first quarter I'mfocusing on something.
Second quarter it allows me asolid 90 days to really spend my
time and energy on something,so that I'm not trying to do
(10:06):
everything at once right and Ithink that can be really a key
if someone is trying to figureout, like, how to have it all or
how to balance it.
Now I want you to talk to themoms out there, right, the wives
out there, the overwhelmedstudents, right, the people that
are trying to balance having acorporate job and their side
(10:29):
hustle, right, and they're justfeeling so overwhelmed, right,
that they're feeling anxious.
You know there's a lot of peoplestruggling to even sleep at
night because they have so muchgoing on.
So when you think about asystem, a structure, a process
that can help people to reallybreak down their lives so that
(10:50):
they can find fulfillment andjoy at the end of the day, what
would you say are somestrategies or tips that can
really help people with that?
Nicole Crumpler (10:58):
Identify what the problem is.
Most times, things are aproblem because we don't know.
Yeah, right, and it's hard tosolve a problem if you can't
define it.
So you know this because wework together.
Jessica Lundy (11:09):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (11:09):
Right, we have this process during our meetings
where we ids one, we identifywhat the problem is, we discuss
at length to make sureeverybody's clear and everybody
understands what the problem is,and then only after we've
identified it, only after we'vediscussed it, then we move to
solution.
Right, so it's just like onecall that thing out that you're
(11:32):
struggling with, like can youdefine it?
yeah right, and then, once youcan define it, you can you need
to come up with solutions.
But we don't do that inisolation, right?
So who are your influences?
Like, who are the people thatare around you?
Like, who are you taking advicefrom?
Like, who are you?
Who's in your ear?
Basically, right, because thatwill help you once you're able
to hey, this is what I'mstruggling with, um, talk to
(11:56):
people.
Talk to the right people, right, make sure you got the right
people around you and then comeup with solutions and then you
just start working to to remedysome of those, those problems
that you're having yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (12:05):
And what do you think is the best way for people
to do that?
Whether that looks like ajournal does that?
Look like working with a coachor a mentor or support, or do
you think they should just dothat by themselves?
Nicole Crumpler (12:14):
I mean, all of those are options and I'm not a
believer in one size fits all.
Yeah Right, so it's just likeI'm going to give you the recipe
, but if you're lactoseintolerant, don't use milk.
You know what I mean, don't usealmond milk or use coconut milk
, like you have to figure outwhat works for you, right?
(12:37):
Because this is just to plantthe seed, but take from it what
works for you.
You have to create your ownsystem, what works for me might
not necessarily work for you,but I think you can still take
what does work for you and applythat to your situation, and how
often do you feel like peopleshould even evaluate what's
working?
Jessica Lundy (12:56):
So you know, we like to say new year, new me.
We get all excited.
We, three months in a year, wedidn't forgot all about, all,
all about those promises, okay,that we made to ourselves.
So how soon or how often shouldwe be checking in on ourselves
to see, okay, this is working,this isn't working.
I should try this out, I shouldtry that out and then, as
you're exploring that, what kindof support is available to do
(13:18):
that?
Nicole Crumpler (13:18):
Yeah, for sure.
So I'll use my weight lossjourney as an example.
Yeah, so with James it's everyweek, okay, right, so I'm
checking in every Monday.
Yeah, every Monday.
I have to send him a screenshotof my numbers, right?
If I think about, work isquarterly.
Jessica Lundy (13:34):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (13:35):
Right, so every quarterly we're tracking our
numbers, we're looking at ourKPIs, right?
So finding a rhythm that makesthe most sense.
Jessica Lundy (13:42):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (13:42):
Like, given the situation, yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (13:44):
No, that is so good because the way in which
you defined it does make a lotof sense.
There are times, especially inbusiness, quarter does make a
lot of sense.
There are times, especially inbusiness, right, quarterly
usually is good for those typeof goals.
Yeah, but weekly accountabilitylike the clients that I have,
like as a life coach that I seeevery week, they make the most
progress right, but the onesthat you know once a month you
(14:06):
know, can I afford this?
And it's like right, I try totell people it's not, can you
afford something?
Can you afford to?
Not, it's good, continue tokeep showing up, not pour into
yourself.
Yeah, because a lot of timesit's just for a season that you
need somebody who can reallylock in and keep you accountable
.
At some point you will develop,develop those skill sets to
keep yourself accountable, butwhen you're in that season of
(14:28):
change, that season oftransition, it's vital to have
that support.
We actually read a booktogether called the Shift.
That was all abouttransitioning and shifting.
You're in quite the shift ofyour life, I am.
Hopefully we'll be able to pullsome video clip to share with
the people, but at the NextLevel Speakers Conference there
(14:51):
was a very intimate but publicmoment.
That happened when your husbandaffirmed you on stage in front
of a thousand people.
People are still talking aboutthat and my listeners that
haven't had a chance to see thisor experience this when you see
(15:13):
a husband affirm his wifepublicly, pouring into her,
loving her, encouraging her.
A lot of times people don'teven get those type of texts
from their significant other.
Yeah, so take us back to kindof like one, maybe even how that
felt being because because youknow she, she being dynamic here
(15:37):
, y'all, but she could be alittle bit quiet and low key in
the background.
You know we're talking aboutsystems, right?
So you know a lot of people insystems and operations are
behind the scenes, peopleforecasting some of the things
in your life that we know aregoing to come to pass.
Nicole Crumpler (16:06):
Crumple and I have been together over 20 years
Right, years right.
So I think I think that contextis important.
Yeah, because he has seen allthe different stages, all the
different versions of me, likehe's been with me on the journey
so he's been able to see thegrowth right.
Because he knows that there wasa time in my life where don't
(16:29):
call me up on stage like and yes, that's not too distant, that's
not like a distant past.
You've been at masterminds andso has Duke.
Shout out to Duke.
Yeah, shout out to.
Jessica Lundy (16:40):
Duke.
Nicole Crumpler (16:41):
Where, if somebody told me he was going to
call me on stage, I would finda reason to leave the room.
Yeah, I've looked for her manytimes, jess, I would leave.
I would find a reason to justnot be there because I did not
want to be the focus of people'sattention.
Right, and so fast forward toto the conference that you're
(17:02):
talking about.
There's a lot that has happenedin these past three to five
years.
I was telling you before westarted, like you know, when I
was on the island and during myprofessional career yeah, shout
out to Bermuda, you, you know,I'm a onion bermuda onion in the
house, um, but yeah, likethere's, there's during my
professional career that there's15 years, a lot of my
(17:24):
development was professionalyeah, it was professional
development.
I would say my focus these pastthree to five has been personal
right and that personal growthhas literally been the best
decision that I've made.
Wow, honestly, like I mean thatwith my whole heart because you
know you talked about, like theprocess, the healing that has
(17:44):
to happen.
It started with focusing on me,like just getting clear on who
I am and my mindset.
Sometimes, when people ask you,hey, what is it that you do?
Like, what's the system thatyou use when you're just going
through life, you don't reallythink about it, jess, like it's
hard to even to even name it,right.
(18:05):
So it's good to haveconversations with you and to
get people to really pull it outof you.
Because I had to think about it,I was like I don't, I don't
really know what it is that I'mdoing, because I'm just doing me
, I'm just being myself.
When I had to define aframework, what we came up with
was a map.
What I follow is my map.
The am being my mindset.
(18:27):
You know what I mean being theperspective, the lens that I see
everything through, justgetting comfortable, fully with
me.
you know what I mean, and justlike my uniqueness and my
authenticity, and loving who Iam and being comfortable,
because I think part of the fearwas Me just not really being
okay with me, you know.
(18:47):
So like the personaldevelopment got me in love with
me, yeah.
Right, and then I realized thatthe focus was really about
other people.
So I used to suffer fromperfectionism, right.
Jessica Lundy (19:00):
Me too.
Yeah, recovering, come on, andperfectionism is dangerous.
Nicole Crumpler (19:05):
It is dangerous , right, because it's an
unrealistic expectation.
It's fearful.
I think it's rooted in fear.
You know like you're soconcerned about what other
people are going to think, oryou know, which is another
reason why I didn't want to bein the spotlight, because then
it's like all eyes on me, right.
But now it's just like man, it'snot about me, it's about them.
So when I shift my focus toother people, I'm not afraid.
(19:27):
There's nothing to be afraid of, because it's not about me
anymore, right?
So now the feeling is I'mexcited.
Jessica Lundy (19:33):
Like I want to be on stage Like I want to help,
because it's not about being onstage.
Nicole Crumpler (19:37):
It's the opportunity that being on stage
gives me.
Jessica Lundy (19:40):
Right.
Nicole Crumpler (19:40):
Like, the stage is just a catalyst for me to
pour, for me to help, for me toadd value.
So to be on that stage withChris not knowing what he was
going to say right, but justbeing fully comfortable being
there.
One because again, theamendment wasn't about me.
I'm just here, standing heresupporting my husband.
Jessica Lundy (20:01):
So the fact that he started doing the
affirmations caught mecompletely off guard right.
Nicole Crumpler (20:05):
So I'm just like what is happening.
Jessica Lundy (20:07):
First, I'm just like, oh my like what is
happening?
Nicole Crumpler (20:08):
Yeah Right, first I'm just like oh my God,
like what is?
Happening?
What is he doing?
And then when I realized andI'm just like.
You know what I mean, I'moverwhelmed at just wow, God,
like, look what you, look whatyou're doing.
You know what I mean.
Look what you are preparing forme, you know.
Thank you for using him to bethe vessel to whisper your
promises to me, to kind of setthe stage in front of all of
(20:31):
these people for what's to come.
So it's one of those momentsthat you just never forget.
Yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (20:40):
Me as well.
As someone who was able towitness it, I'm like this was an
unforgettable moment, for sure.
A couple things you said thatwas so good One.
I encourage everybody who iswatching or listening to embark
on your self-love journey.
Nicole Crumpler (20:51):
That's it, Jess .
Jessica Lundy (20:52):
Like you have to love who you are.
At the end of the day,sometimes we're looking for that
validation and that love in oursignificant other, in our
children, in our coworkers, inour managers, and then that
leads us to disappointment.
So you got to love yourselffirst and then also like
affirmations are vital, right?
I think it's important to haveself affirmations, like you to
(21:12):
affirm yourself.
But that was one of the reasonsI created audio affirmations
because I needed to hear.
At a time I was working a jobthat no longer fulfilled me.
I needed to hear every day thatI was amazing, that I was going
to have a great day, that goodthings are going to happen to me
.
So if you need thatencouragement, check the show
notes for a link to the audioaffirmations, because I've had
(21:36):
thousands of people all aroundthe world start their day by
listening to that and it'sliterally like having me as your
cheerleader to encourage youand support you.
So I really believe in thepower of affirmations and you
got to have somebody speakinginto you and then you also
speaking into yourself.
Nicole Crumpler (21:53):
Absolutely.
Who doesn't want to be seen?
Jessica Lundy (21:55):
Value love.
Nicole Crumpler (21:56):
Just everybody wants that.
Jessica Lundy (21:58):
Everybody wants that, everybody.
So speak briefly to the wifethat just heard that, yeah, and
she's in such a struggling placein her marriage that she heard
that and it kind of was likethat could never happen to me.
And so you said you've beenmarried 20 years, 20, yeah so
(22:19):
when you think, about, maybecrumple a couple years before.
You're like I don't know howthat could have been.
Us right talk to her thisfeeling like I don't know if
this could ever happen for me orhow could my marriage even look
better.
Nicole Crumpler (22:32):
Oh for sure so don't get it twisted like that
that 20 years has not beenglitter and rambus, yeah right,
like that, 20 years has beenwork.
So I have been that wife thatfelt like yeah, yeah, no, I
cannot do this, I don't want todo this anymore.
You know, there was a seasonthat was dark for me.
(22:56):
Right, nothing but my faith.
Jess pulled me out of that.
And here's the thing.
You heard me kind of allude toit earlier.
I was like God, this can't bethe plan that you have for me.
Like, this is not a good plan.
You promised me a good plan,like this is the plan that you
have.
Jessica Lundy (23:11):
For me, this is not good.
Nicole Crumpler (23:12):
I'm lonely, I'm tired.
I don't want to do this anymore.
This is not what I thought itwas going to be.
You know the movies.
They be lying.
They be lying.
Jessica Lundy (23:24):
Come on they be saying you are not like that,
it's not like that.
Give us the real that's it.
Nicole Crumpler (23:29):
Yes, um, but this is, this is what I heard.
Uh, he said, nick, I neverpromised you that it was gonna
be easy, right?
I never promised you glittersand rainbows.
Jessica Lundy (23:39):
Actually, I actually told you you would
suffer, yeah right that longsuffering that we kind of like
try to gloss over.
You know what I mean?
Nicole Crumpler (23:46):
yeah, I told you I would suffer, but here's
what else I told you.
I also told you that I would bethere with you.
Yeah, right, that I won't leaveyou and I'm not gonna forsake
you, because if you continue totrust me, I'm gonna show you
that you're stronger than youthink.
Yeah, I'm gonna show you thatyou can get through more than
you realize.
Yeah, right, um, but as long asyou stay with me, I'm going to
(24:08):
blow your mind.
Jessica Lundy (24:09):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (24:10):
And with, with everything that I had in me,
Jess, and even when I felt likeI couldn't, I still just walk
with God because I had given up.
Yeah, I was, I was cold, I waslonely.
I just didn't think, you know,we could come back from some of
the things that we had beenthrough.
But God is faithful.
Jessica Lundy (24:31):
Faithful.
Nicole Crumpler (24:32):
Hear me good.
God is faithful.
How you're feeling is very real.
Yeah Right, you told me, speakto the person Like your feelings
are very real.
I have felt that, yeah yeah,but be encouraged because there
is nothing too hard for God,yeah, right, and I think having
the right people around you isimportant.
(24:54):
You know you need people thatare going to pray you through
Jess, because you don't feellike it anymore.
I'm not doing the work at thatpoint yeah.
I didn't want to pray, I didn'twant to go to anybody's
conference, I don't want anybody, like you, couldn't tell me
anything and I promise you, if Ididn't have my faith, jess,
yeah, I think my story wouldlook a lot different.
(25:15):
It's very real, very real Ipromise you that yeah like, like
that third chord, that holyspirit, that is the tie that
binds.
Yeah, you know, yes, it's mecrump, but's the Holy spirit,
and that is the only thing, that, that that got me through.
Jessica Lundy (25:29):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (25:29):
Yeah.
Jessica Lundy (25:30):
That's so good and so real, so stay encouraged.
Listen, I'm 10 years in, so shegot a 10 on me, right, but I
didn't learn already, like thereare days that that are amazing,
there are days that arechallenging, there are days that
are struggling, but know thatyou don't have to do this thing
called marriage alone.
Listen, we didn't been to the,we didn't have.
We got marriage coaches, yes,we got marriage therapists.
(25:52):
We got spiritual counselors.
We got wisdom.
We have surrounded ourselves bya wise counsel.
Okay, yeah, we got friends thatare married.
You know, I'm saying like we,we surrounded ourselves on
purpose and that's not easy,trying to find solid, married
people.
Nicole Crumpler (26:10):
Okay.
Jessica Lundy (26:11):
But it's worth the investigation Absolutely.
It's worth the prayer, it'sworth like desiring to be around
people that get it, Becausewhen you see some happy people,
I was telling CJ the other day.
I was talking to him I saidlisten, I didn't know.
Marriage bliss.
On the secret to successpodcast they were saying
marriage bliss was the goal.
I said I didn't even realizethat there was a goal because
(26:32):
you see some people juststruggling trying to make it and
I was like okay, this is thegoal, this is the standard, this
is what we about to hit.
Okay, right?
So we have an amazing segmenton here called the healing
moment, and so it is for you togive and I'm going to give it to
you to give this time it's agift back to our audience so
(26:52):
that they can know what to donext.
Right, I don't want them justto be inspired and encouraged, I
want them to do an action itemas a result of something you
said.
So, when you think about eithera system or structure, a
process, a tool, a strategy that, if they implement it today, it
could really enhance theirwhole healing journey, Something
(27:15):
to enhance your healing journey.
Nicole Crumpler (27:17):
I'm going to go back to where I started getting
to know yourself.
Right, Get to know yourself,get to love yourself and then
get to work.
Yeah, Right, Get to loveyourself and then get to work.
Yeah Right, I shared a post theother day that talks about like
when we move, god moves Right,like God moves through you, and
there's so much that is onlyrevealed to us once we start
(27:40):
doing the work.
So what does that look like foryou?
Get to know who you are.
Like you want one thing likespend some time getting to know
you Spend some time withyourself, whether that's you
know, self-care.
You talked about that.
Maybe it's just it's quiet time.
So me, for example, I havefocus time on my calendar.
So every day, from 8 to 10, Ican show you my calendar right
(28:01):
now it's focus time.
Right, so during that time Itake some time to spend time
with me.
Jessica Lundy (28:06):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (28:06):
Right.
So, whether it's readingSometimes I'm reading a book,
sometimes I'm in prayer,sometimes I'm just quiet, yeah,
but it's time where I can justdedicate, focusing on being my
best self, right.
So, for you, focus on beingyour best self.
There's going to be so muchthat comes out of that, right.
So get to know, you get to loveyou and you get to work.
Jessica Lundy (28:31):
This is so good.
I told y'all.
Y'all was in for a treat.
We deliver.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for sharing your heart,
for giving us more than we couldhave asked for.
Right, this was so good.
So thank you, guys again fortuning in to the Finally Healed
with Jessica Lundy podcast.
(28:51):
If you have enjoyed yourselfwhich I know you have I need you
to leave a five-star review onwherever you are watching this.
I need you to subscribe to thepodcast and tell a friend.
Don't be selfish with goodquality information and if you
do your healing exercise, tag uson social media at
(29:15):
FinallyHealPod.
I will see you next time.
Bye.
It appears that I'm doing it all and I have it
all together, but I didn't guess.
I found myself feelingunfulfilled, feeling exhausted,
and it really took me sittingdown and saying to myself, like
is this really the plan that Godhas for you?
You know, how you show up isimportant.
You have to show upconsistently, no matter what
(00:21):
space you're in.
You know showing up as the bestversion of yourself.
You want to get it old, butjust start Right, because the
small steps start to add up Likeshout out to ET.
Jessica Lundy (00:30):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (00:31):
Right.
Like small steps, greatdistance.
Jessica Lundy (00:47):
Welcome to the Finally Healed with Jessica
Lundy podcast, where weprioritize mental health,
self-care and embracing ourhealing journey together.
Now I need you to grab listen,your coffee, your tea, get your
pen, your paper.
This episode is going to be sogood Now.
(01:10):
I told you I was going to bringsome of my special friends.
I am so grateful to be able tocall our next guest a friend.
Listen.
We have actually traveled theworld together.
Nicole Star Crumpler, aka NextLevel Nick, is an extraordinary.
(01:31):
She's a wife, she's a motherand, to be honest, her resume is
so long that it would take thewhole podcast for me to let you
know everything that she hasdone.
She is truly the definition ofa woman boss.
She has made so much headway inthe corporate space, working
(01:53):
for Fortune 500 corporations andnow she is the COO of Next
Level Speakers Academy andeverything Jeremy Anderson Group
.
And when I tell you she is thequeen with a capital Q, queen of
systems, and it is my honor, itis my pleasure to invite her to
(02:14):
the show.
Welcome, nicole, oh man.
Nicole Crumpler (02:17):
Thank you.
Thank you, jess.
It is incredible to be here.
I have been waiting for thismoment ever since I got the
invite, so, trust me, I am justas excited to be here.
Jessica Lundy (02:26):
I have been waiting you know, like for this
moment ever since I got theinvite.
So, trust me, I am just asexcited to be here.
Yeah, it is an honor to haveyou because you are a
multifaceted woman, and when Ithink about the women watching
this podcast, they are having todo it all right and we're just
trying to figure this thingcalled life out.
And so when you think aboutyour healing journey right, we
listed all of the accolades andthe amazing things that you've
(02:48):
been able to accomplish, but Iimagine that healing had to be a
part of the equation to be ableto be where you are now.
So what did that journey looklike for?
Nicole Crumpler (02:57):
you?
Yeah, for sure.
You know.
You mentioned some of thethings that I've done juggling,
uh, being a wife and a mom andhaving a job in corporate, um,
singing, dancing, playingbasketball, just doing all the
things right.
But outside, looking in uh, youtalked about it earlier what
(03:18):
did you?
How did you coin it?
What's this one?
Is the something about somebodythat's got it all together?
What was it, jess?
What's?
Jessica Lundy (03:27):
the title of this episode the System for the
Woman that Can Do it All Right.
Nicole Crumpler (03:31):
So Systems for the Woman that Can Do it All.
So outside, looking in, youknow, it appears that I'm doing
it all and I have it alltogether.
But I didn't, jess.
You know what I mean.
I didn't.
I found myself feelingunfulfilled, feeling exhausted,
yeah Right, and it really tookme sitting down and saying to
(03:52):
myself, like Nick, you have allthis stuff going on, but is this
really the plan that God hasfor you?
Yeah, you know, because in inthose moments it didn't feel
like a good plan.
Yeah, it didn't.
So getting to to this place,you know, shifting my focus and
figuring out, you know, whatreally mattered, that journey
(04:14):
was a healing journey.
you know, there were a lot ofthings that I had to adjust to
kind of get to this person yeahyou know that I, that I am now'm
, I'm just excited to share thatpart of my journey and
hopefully, you know there aresome, some nuggets, something
that people can take away fromthis that really helps them.
Jessica Lundy (04:31):
And how do we, as women, not feel guilty about
taking that first step andputting ourself first along the
journey?
Nicole Crumpler (04:40):
Yeah, for sure I think it.
It has to start with us, youknow.
Know, shout out to JeremyAnderson.
He has he's coined this phraseoccupational integrity Right
when it talks about you know,how you show up is important and
you have to show upconsistently, no matter what
space you're in.
So how you show up as a wife,how you show up as a mom, how
(05:03):
you show up as a friend, youknow, showing up as the best
version of yourself, thatintegrity is any hat that you're
wearing and that starts withfirst understanding who you are,
having self-awareness.
I think sometimes people walkaround with a filter, but I
don't know how honest thatfilter is Right.
(05:25):
So really getting like takingthe time to know who you are,
jess, like what are yourstrengths, what are your
weaknesses, and being okay withthat.
You know we all have gaps, youknow.
Shout out to my coach.
I have plenty of coaches, butwe have dark spots, we have
blind spots, you know, like wehave soft spots, but
(05:46):
understanding what our vices arelike, it's important to know
yourself first before you caneven start doing anything else.
Jessica Lundy (05:55):
Yeah, let's unpack a couple of things.
You just put a lot in there.
Why is it vital for people Ihave many coaches, many mentors,
people in my life that thatsupport me and help guide me in
the direction I need to go.
Nicole Crumpler (06:08):
Yeah.
Jessica Lundy (06:09):
You say you have many coaches.
Why is that important to you?
And then when did you realizeand I believe that's actually
probably a system, right, yeah,when did you realize like this
is a vital part of your successas an adult?
Right, absolutely.
Nicole Crumpler (06:21):
Right, absolutely.
One way to guarantee success ishaving accountability Right,
and coaches provide a layer ofaccountability.
So recently I had made adecision that I wanted to leave
so late Right, I'm just likehelp to get there.
So I got a coach Right Becausewhen James hits me every.
Monday and it's like, nick, letme see your numbers that
(06:52):
accountability is going to keepme honest, like it's going to
hold me to the fire, Right?
So any area of my life where Iwant to, you know, be
intentional about my success Irealize I can't do it by myself.
We talked about this earlierRight?
Like just having community,just having people who are there
(07:13):
to support you, because it'snot going to be perfect, jess.
So accountability, having acoach in the areas where you
want to succeed for me iscrucial.
Jessica Lundy (07:19):
Yeah, it really is vital.
It is.
And I think sometimes peoplethink you just need a coach for
the specific areas that you wantto improve in, when it comes to
business or it comes to finance.
So, like for me as a speakingcoach, people come to me and
they're like, oh man, like Iwant to do this with my speaking
business.
I want to do this and this andthis, and I'm like no, no, let's
.
Let's actually work on yourheart, let's work on your
(07:41):
mindset, let's work on yourmentality.
So I think it's important tohave a coach in a variety of
areas, someone who's going tohelp you personally, but someone
who's also going to help youprofessionally.
Now, when you think abouteveryone always says I want to
have it all right.
Nicole Crumpler (07:55):
We all want to have it all right.
Jessica Lundy (07:57):
Do you think that is possible to quote-unquote
have it all, and if so, whatneeds to be in place to actually
be able to achieve that goal?
Nicole Crumpler (08:09):
You have to define all.
I think all is too broad, it'stoo vague, like start by
defining what, all is right, sothat you can be intentional,
because if not, I feel like youcould be all over the place.
So I'll use myself as anexample.
So you know, think of NewYear's.
You have your resolution, youwant to do this, this, this,
(08:31):
this and this.
Like I had my own list ofthings I wanted to achieve,
things I wanted to accomplish,and it felt like a lot.
Jessica Lundy (08:38):
Yeah, overwhelming Right.
Nicole Crumpler (08:40):
So one it's just like you don't want to
start a plan already feelinglike man, this is a lot.
And so I said to myself I saidyou know what, nick, instead of
focusing on all of that andtrying to do everything, I made
up in my mind, jess, that I wasgoing to focus on one thing
Because, doing the reflection,doing the work, I realized if I
focus on the one thing right,that all the other things that I
(09:04):
wanted would be added onto me,because my one focus was God and
I knew if I aligned with God,then he would help me find my
purpose and I wanted him toorder my steps right.
So, I think, one getting clearon what you need to focus on so
that you can buildintentionality into the plan, so
that you can reach whateveryour all looks like, but make
(09:26):
that all small steps.
Yeah, right Because you don'twant to.
You don't want to feel theoverwhelm Like, yes, you want to
get it old, but just startsmall Right, Because the small
steps start to add up Like shoutout to ET.
Yeah, right Like small steps,great distances.
I love it.
I love it.
Jessica Lundy (09:43):
So I want everybody to make sure you did
not miss that.
It can be so easy to look atyour long to-do list and you
feel so overwhelmed and Istarted to break it down into
quarters.
So maybe first quarter I'mfocusing on something.
Second quarter it allows me asolid 90 days to really spend my
time and energy on something,so that I'm not trying to do
(10:06):
everything at once right and Ithink that can be really a key
if someone is trying to figureout, like, how to have it all or
how to balance it.
Now I want you to talk to themoms out there, right, the wives
out there, the overwhelmedstudents, right, the people that
are trying to balance having acorporate job and their side
(10:29):
hustle, right, and they're justfeeling so overwhelmed, right,
that they're feeling anxious.
You know there's a lot of peoplestruggling to even sleep at
night because they have so muchgoing on.
So when you think about asystem, a structure, a process
that can help people to reallybreak down their lives so that
(10:50):
they can find fulfillment andjoy at the end of the day, what
would you say are somestrategies or tips that can
really help people with that?
Nicole Crumpler (10:58):
Identify what the problem is.
Most times, things are aproblem because we don't know.
Yeah, right, and it's hard tosolve a problem if you can't
define it.
So you know this because wework together.
Jessica Lundy (11:09):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (11:09):
Right, we have this process during our meetings
where we ids one, we identifywhat the problem is, we discuss
at length to make sureeverybody's clear and everybody
understands what the problem is,and then only after we've
identified it, only after we'vediscussed it, then we move to
solution.
Right, so it's just like onecall that thing out that you're
(11:32):
struggling with, like can youdefine it?
yeah right, and then, once youcan define it, you can you need
to come up with solutions.
But we don't do that inisolation, right?
So who are your influences?
Like, who are the people thatare around you?
Like, who are you taking advicefrom?
Like, who are you?
Who's in your ear?
Basically, right, because thatwill help you once you're able
to hey, this is what I'mstruggling with, um, talk to
(11:56):
people.
Talk to the right people, right, make sure you got the right
people around you and then comeup with solutions and then you
just start working to to remedysome of those, those problems
that you're having yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (12:05):
And what do you think is the best way for people
to do that?
Whether that looks like ajournal does that?
Look like working with a coachor a mentor or support, or do
you think they should just dothat by themselves?
Nicole Crumpler (12:14):
I mean, all of those are options and I'm not a
believer in one size fits all.
Yeah Right, so it's just likeI'm going to give you the recipe
, but if you're lactoseintolerant, don't use milk.
You know what I mean, don't usealmond milk or use coconut milk
, like you have to figure outwhat works for you, right?
(12:37):
Because this is just to plantthe seed, but take from it what
works for you.
You have to create your ownsystem, what works for me might
not necessarily work for you,but I think you can still take
what does work for you and applythat to your situation, and how
often do you feel like peopleshould even evaluate what's
working?
Jessica Lundy (12:56):
So you know, we like to say new year, new me.
We get all excited.
We, three months in a year, wedidn't forgot all about, all,
all about those promises, okay,that we made to ourselves.
So how soon or how often shouldwe be checking in on ourselves
to see, okay, this is working,this isn't working.
I should try this out, I shouldtry that out and then, as
you're exploring that, what kindof support is available to do
(13:18):
that?
Nicole Crumpler (13:18):
Yeah, for sure.
So I'll use my weight lossjourney as an example.
Yeah, so with James it's everyweek, okay, right, so I'm
checking in every Monday.
Yeah, every Monday.
I have to send him a screenshotof my numbers, right?
If I think about, work isquarterly.
Jessica Lundy (13:34):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (13:35):
Right, so every quarterly we're tracking our
numbers, we're looking at ourKPIs, right?
So finding a rhythm that makesthe most sense.
Jessica Lundy (13:42):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (13:42):
Like, given the situation, yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (13:44):
No, that is so good because the way in which
you defined it does make a lotof sense.
There are times, especially inbusiness, quarter does make a
lot of sense.
There are times, especially inbusiness, right, quarterly
usually is good for those typeof goals.
Yeah, but weekly accountabilitylike the clients that I have,
like as a life coach that I seeevery week, they make the most
progress right, but the onesthat you know once a month you
(14:06):
know, can I afford this?
And it's like right, I try totell people it's not, can you
afford something?
Can you afford to?
Not, it's good, continue tokeep showing up, not pour into
yourself.
Yeah, because a lot of timesit's just for a season that you
need somebody who can reallylock in and keep you accountable
.
At some point you will develop,develop those skill sets to
keep yourself accountable, butwhen you're in that season of
(14:28):
change, that season oftransition, it's vital to have
that support.
We actually read a booktogether called the Shift.
That was all abouttransitioning and shifting.
You're in quite the shift ofyour life, I am.
Hopefully we'll be able to pullsome video clip to share with
the people, but at the NextLevel Speakers Conference there
(14:51):
was a very intimate but publicmoment.
That happened when your husbandaffirmed you on stage in front
of a thousand people.
People are still talking aboutthat and my listeners that
haven't had a chance to see thisor experience this when you see
(15:13):
a husband affirm his wifepublicly, pouring into her,
loving her, encouraging her.
A lot of times people don'teven get those type of texts
from their significant other.
Yeah, so take us back to kindof like one, maybe even how that
felt being because because youknow she, she being dynamic here
(15:37):
, y'all, but she could be alittle bit quiet and low key in
the background.
You know we're talking aboutsystems, right?
So you know a lot of people insystems and operations are
behind the scenes, peopleforecasting some of the things
in your life that we know aregoing to come to pass.
Nicole Crumpler (16:06):
Crumple and I have been together over 20 years
Right, years right.
So I think I think that contextis important.
Yeah, because he has seen allthe different stages, all the
different versions of me, likehe's been with me on the journey
so he's been able to see thegrowth right.
Because he knows that there wasa time in my life where don't
(16:29):
call me up on stage like and yes, that's not too distant, that's
not like a distant past.
You've been at masterminds andso has Duke.
Shout out to Duke.
Yeah, shout out to.
Jessica Lundy (16:40):
Duke.
Nicole Crumpler (16:41):
Where, if somebody told me he was going to
call me on stage, I would finda reason to leave the room.
Yeah, I've looked for her manytimes, jess, I would leave.
I would find a reason to justnot be there because I did not
want to be the focus of people'sattention.
Right, and so fast forward toto the conference that you're
(17:02):
talking about.
There's a lot that has happenedin these past three to five
years.
I was telling you before westarted, like you know, when I
was on the island and during myprofessional career yeah, shout
out to Bermuda, you, you know,I'm a onion bermuda onion in the
house, um, but yeah, likethere's, there's during my
professional career that there's15 years, a lot of my
(17:24):
development was professionalyeah, it was professional
development.
I would say my focus these pastthree to five has been personal
right and that personal growthhas literally been the best
decision that I've made.
Wow, honestly, like I mean thatwith my whole heart because you
know you talked about, like theprocess, the healing that has
(17:44):
to happen.
It started with focusing on me,like just getting clear on who
I am and my mindset.
Sometimes, when people ask you,hey, what is it that you do?
Like, what's the system thatyou use when you're just going
through life, you don't reallythink about it, jess, like it's
hard to even to even name it,right.
(18:05):
So it's good to haveconversations with you and to
get people to really pull it outof you.
Because I had to think about it,I was like I don't, I don't
really know what it is that I'mdoing, because I'm just doing me
, I'm just being myself.
When I had to define aframework, what we came up with
was a map.
What I follow is my map.
The am being my mindset.
(18:27):
You know what I mean being theperspective, the lens that I see
everything through, justgetting comfortable, fully with
me.
you know what I mean, and justlike my uniqueness and my
authenticity, and loving who Iam and being comfortable,
because I think part of the fearwas Me just not really being
okay with me, you know.
(18:47):
So like the personaldevelopment got me in love with
me, yeah.
Right, and then I realized thatthe focus was really about
other people.
So I used to suffer fromperfectionism, right.
Jessica Lundy (19:00):
Me too.
Yeah, recovering, come on, andperfectionism is dangerous.
Nicole Crumpler (19:05):
It is dangerous , right, because it's an
unrealistic expectation.
It's fearful.
I think it's rooted in fear.
You know like you're soconcerned about what other
people are going to think, oryou know, which is another
reason why I didn't want to bein the spotlight, because then
it's like all eyes on me, right.
But now it's just like man, it'snot about me, it's about them.
So when I shift my focus toother people, I'm not afraid.
(19:27):
There's nothing to be afraid of, because it's not about me
anymore, right?
So now the feeling is I'mexcited.
Jessica Lundy (19:33):
Like I want to be on stage Like I want to help,
because it's not about being onstage.
Nicole Crumpler (19:37):
It's the opportunity that being on stage
gives me.
Jessica Lundy (19:40):
Right.
Nicole Crumpler (19:40):
Like, the stage is just a catalyst for me to
pour, for me to help, for me toadd value.
So to be on that stage withChris not knowing what he was
going to say right, but justbeing fully comfortable being
there.
One because again, theamendment wasn't about me.
I'm just here, standing heresupporting my husband.
Jessica Lundy (20:01):
So the fact that he started doing the
affirmations caught mecompletely off guard right.
Nicole Crumpler (20:05):
So I'm just like what is happening.
Jessica Lundy (20:07):
First, I'm just like, oh my like what is
happening?
Nicole Crumpler (20:08):
Yeah Right, first I'm just like oh my God,
like what is?
Happening?
What is he doing?
And then when I realized andI'm just like.
You know what I mean, I'moverwhelmed at just wow, God,
like, look what you, look whatyou're doing.
You know what I mean.
Look what you are preparing forme, you know.
Thank you for using him to bethe vessel to whisper your
promises to me, to kind of setthe stage in front of all of
(20:31):
these people for what's to come.
So it's one of those momentsthat you just never forget.
Yeah, yeah.
Jessica Lundy (20:40):
Me as well.
As someone who was able towitness it, I'm like this was an
unforgettable moment, for sure.
A couple things you said thatwas so good One.
I encourage everybody who iswatching or listening to embark
on your self-love journey.
Nicole Crumpler (20:51):
That's it, Jess .
Jessica Lundy (20:52):
Like you have to love who you are.
At the end of the day,sometimes we're looking for that
validation and that love in oursignificant other, in our
children, in our coworkers, inour managers, and then that
leads us to disappointment.
So you got to love yourselffirst and then also like
affirmations are vital, right?
I think it's important to haveself affirmations, like you to
(21:12):
affirm yourself.
But that was one of the reasonsI created audio affirmations
because I needed to hear.
At a time I was working a jobthat no longer fulfilled me.
I needed to hear every day thatI was amazing, that I was going
to have a great day, that goodthings are going to happen to me
.
So if you need thatencouragement, check the show
notes for a link to the audioaffirmations, because I've had
(21:36):
thousands of people all aroundthe world start their day by
listening to that and it'sliterally like having me as your
cheerleader to encourage youand support you.
So I really believe in thepower of affirmations and you
got to have somebody speakinginto you and then you also
speaking into yourself.
Nicole Crumpler (21:53):
Absolutely.
Who doesn't want to be seen?
Jessica Lundy (21:55):
Value love.
Nicole Crumpler (21:56):
Just everybody wants that.
Jessica Lundy (21:58):
Everybody wants that, everybody.
So speak briefly to the wifethat just heard that, yeah, and
she's in such a struggling placein her marriage that she heard
that and it kind of was likethat could never happen to me.
And so you said you've beenmarried 20 years, 20, yeah so
(22:19):
when you think, about, maybecrumple a couple years before.
You're like I don't know howthat could have been.
Us right talk to her thisfeeling like I don't know if
this could ever happen for me orhow could my marriage even look
better.
Nicole Crumpler (22:32):
Oh for sure so don't get it twisted like that
that 20 years has not beenglitter and rambus, yeah right,
like that, 20 years has beenwork.
So I have been that wife thatfelt like yeah, yeah, no, I
cannot do this, I don't want todo this anymore.
You know, there was a seasonthat was dark for me.
(22:56):
Right, nothing but my faith.
Jess pulled me out of that.
And here's the thing.
You heard me kind of allude toit earlier.
I was like God, this can't bethe plan that you have for me.
Like, this is not a good plan.
You promised me a good plan,like this is the plan that you
have.
Jessica Lundy (23:11):
For me, this is not good.
Nicole Crumpler (23:12):
I'm lonely, I'm tired.
I don't want to do this anymore.
This is not what I thought itwas going to be.
You know the movies.
They be lying.
They be lying.
Jessica Lundy (23:24):
Come on they be saying you are not like that,
it's not like that.
Give us the real that's it.
Nicole Crumpler (23:29):
Yes, um, but this is, this is what I heard.
Uh, he said, nick, I neverpromised you that it was gonna
be easy, right?
I never promised you glittersand rainbows.
Jessica Lundy (23:39):
Actually, I actually told you you would
suffer, yeah right that longsuffering that we kind of like
try to gloss over.
You know what I mean?
Nicole Crumpler (23:46):
yeah, I told you I would suffer, but here's
what else I told you.
I also told you that I would bethere with you.
Yeah, right, that I won't leaveyou and I'm not gonna forsake
you, because if you continue totrust me, I'm gonna show you
that you're stronger than youthink.
Yeah, I'm gonna show you thatyou can get through more than
you realize.
Yeah, right, um, but as long asyou stay with me, I'm going to
(24:08):
blow your mind.
Jessica Lundy (24:09):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (24:10):
And with, with everything that I had in me,
Jess, and even when I felt likeI couldn't, I still just walk
with God because I had given up.
Yeah, I was, I was cold, I waslonely.
I just didn't think, you know,we could come back from some of
the things that we had beenthrough.
But God is faithful.
Jessica Lundy (24:31):
Faithful.
Nicole Crumpler (24:32):
Hear me good.
God is faithful.
How you're feeling is very real.
Yeah Right, you told me, speakto the person Like your feelings
are very real.
I have felt that, yeah yeah,but be encouraged because there
is nothing too hard for God,yeah, right, and I think having
the right people around you isimportant.
(24:54):
You know you need people thatare going to pray you through
Jess, because you don't feellike it anymore.
I'm not doing the work at thatpoint yeah.
I didn't want to pray, I didn'twant to go to anybody's
conference, I don't want anybody, like you, couldn't tell me
anything and I promise you, if Ididn't have my faith, jess,
yeah, I think my story wouldlook a lot different.
(25:15):
It's very real, very real Ipromise you that yeah like, like
that third chord, that holyspirit, that is the tie that
binds.
Yeah, you know, yes, it's mecrump, but's the Holy spirit,
and that is the only thing, that, that that got me through.
Jessica Lundy (25:29):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (25:29):
Yeah.
Jessica Lundy (25:30):
That's so good and so real, so stay encouraged.
Listen, I'm 10 years in, so shegot a 10 on me, right, but I
didn't learn already, like thereare days that that are amazing,
there are days that arechallenging, there are days that
are struggling, but know thatyou don't have to do this thing
called marriage alone.
Listen, we didn't been to the,we didn't have.
We got marriage coaches, yes,we got marriage therapists.
(25:52):
We got spiritual counselors.
We got wisdom.
We have surrounded ourselves bya wise counsel.
Okay, yeah, we got friends thatare married.
You know, I'm saying like we,we surrounded ourselves on
purpose and that's not easy,trying to find solid, married
people.
Nicole Crumpler (26:10):
Okay.
Jessica Lundy (26:11):
But it's worth the investigation Absolutely.
It's worth the prayer, it'sworth like desiring to be around
people that get it, Becausewhen you see some happy people,
I was telling CJ the other day.
I was talking to him I saidlisten, I didn't know.
Marriage bliss.
On the secret to successpodcast they were saying
marriage bliss was the goal.
I said I didn't even realizethat there was a goal because
(26:32):
you see some people juststruggling trying to make it and
I was like okay, this is thegoal, this is the standard, this
is what we about to hit.
Okay, right?
So we have an amazing segmenton here called the healing
moment, and so it is for you togive and I'm going to give it to
you to give this time it's agift back to our audience so
(26:52):
that they can know what to donext.
Right, I don't want them justto be inspired and encouraged, I
want them to do an action itemas a result of something you
said.
So, when you think about eithera system or structure, a
process, a tool, a strategy that, if they implement it today, it
could really enhance theirwhole healing journey, Something
(27:15):
to enhance your healing journey.
Nicole Crumpler (27:17):
I'm going to go back to where I started getting
to know yourself.
Right, Get to know yourself,get to love yourself and then
get to work.
Yeah, Right, Get to loveyourself and then get to work.
Yeah Right, I shared a post theother day that talks about like
when we move, god moves Right,like God moves through you, and
there's so much that is onlyrevealed to us once we start
(27:40):
doing the work.
So what does that look like foryou?
Get to know who you are.
Like you want one thing likespend some time getting to know
you Spend some time withyourself, whether that's you
know, self-care.
You talked about that.
Maybe it's just it's quiet time.
So me, for example, I havefocus time on my calendar.
So every day, from 8 to 10, Ican show you my calendar right
(28:01):
now it's focus time.
Right, so during that time Itake some time to spend time
with me.
Jessica Lundy (28:06):
Yeah.
Nicole Crumpler (28:06):
Right.
So, whether it's readingSometimes I'm reading a book,
sometimes I'm in prayer,sometimes I'm just quiet, yeah,
but it's time where I can justdedicate, focusing on being my
best self, right.
So, for you, focus on beingyour best self.
There's going to be so muchthat comes out of that, right.
So get to know, you get to loveyou and you get to work.
Jessica Lundy (28:31):
This is so good.
I told y'all.
Y'all was in for a treat.
We deliver.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for sharing your heart,
for giving us more than we couldhave asked for.
Right, this was so good.
So thank you, guys again fortuning in to the Finally Healed
with Jessica Lundy podcast.
(28:51):
If you have enjoyed yourselfwhich I know you have I need you
to leave a five-star review onwherever you are watching this.
I need you to subscribe to thepodcast and tell a friend.
Don't be selfish with goodquality information and if you
do your healing exercise, tag uson social media at
(29:15):
FinallyHealPod.
I will see you next time.
Bye.
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