February 2, 2024 • 29 mins
With being creative and curious while reflecting unconditional love and gratitude, we can learn to be radically present.
Welcome to The Focus Cast, where we navigate the intricate tapestry of life's journey, breaking free from the constraints of societal expectations and embracing the profound beauty of the present moment. In today's episode, we embark on a heart-to-heart exploration of self-discovery, transcending the stereotypical midlife crisis and finding purpose in the seemingly mundane.
Join me as we peel back the layers of life's supposed milestones and the relentless pursuit of the perfect soulmate, delving into a narrative that prioritizes growth through choice and shared experiences. In our intimate conversation, we unravel the complexities of societal pressures and offer a refreshing perspective on savoring the flavors of each moment.
Discover why judging a stranger's shopping cart reveals more about ourselves than them and how adopting a lens of radical non-judgment can liberate us from self-imposed limitations. Let's explore the joy in the mundane, learning to meet ourselves and others with a kinder, more accepting gaze.
In this episode, we confront the pervasive issue of judgment, examining its impact on daily interactions, from personal struggles with addiction to simple acts of service. Through poignant stories from the trenches of individual challenges, we illuminate the transformative power of replacing judgment with radical acceptance.
This isn't just a discussion; it's an invitation to join me in a commitment to presence. Our purpose may reside within the moments we often overlook. Let's embark on this continuous practice together, sowing seeds of love, gratitude, and non-judgment with every step we take. Tune in to The Focus Cast and let's shape a life awakened to the richness of the present.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up bro?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey man, hey man, what you been working on.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
So episode 104 of the Focus Cast.
Okay, I wrote something theother day.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay, yeah, you sent it to me in a text.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
You know, I've been thinking about a lot of things,
I've been reading a lot ofthings.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Turns out when you listen to 45 audio books every
week.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I am on book number 37.
Okay, 37, my bad In two months,Um.
So you know, in going throughsome of this process, and
especially I'm 42, I'm 41,almost 42.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You're 41.
You've been doing EMDR thetherapy for a year now.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, just really going in.
Okay, and we said in the lastepisode I'm choosing not to
divorce my wife, marry a 20 yearold and buy a two seater.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's not the midlife crisis route you're
going, yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I prefer to better understand who I am.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
And You're not getting the red miata.
No, the masto me yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
No, I'm not, I'm not doing it.
No, I'm making a choice not to.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, um, we all get to choose our own midlife crisis
.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Right, we sure do, so my midlife crisis is really
just going deeper to understandwhat I want to do for however
long I live, right.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Maybe it's the second half yeah, so.
Do we ever really die?
That's a good question.
Or do we just keep recycling?
Anyway, different, different.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Well, in Georgia we think we're recycling, but it's
going to the dump they sell it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
They drop it off in some Asian country where it
probably gets burned.
Yeah, so anyway, anyway, welllet's you want to start it off.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And then we'll read your quote.
I'm Jonathan Noel and I'm BrianNoel.
This is the Focus.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Cast, will we help you reduce distractions,
increase focus so you can live alife with the most intentions?
All right, so here's what Iwrote.
Okay, now, this is under theframework trying to understand
the meaning of existence.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Nothing heavy or anything.
Just a light.
Just a light little topic forus.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah, so this is my conclusion.
Okay, I'm not projecting thatthis should be all of our
conclusions.
We'll get to that later.
Yes, so in trying to find themeaning of existence, we miss
the meaning of existence, whichis to exist fully awake and
(02:31):
fully present.
Behind our desire to understandthe meaning of existence is our
desire to find individualpurpose.
What's my purpose?
What's my purpose?
Yep, freaking out, which leadsus to miss our collective
purpose, which is to reflectunconditional love and gratitude
.
There is no hierarchy topurpose.
(02:52):
A single parent in a small townor CEO of a global corporation
is one and the same To reflectunconditional love and gratitude
, and this I love.
Each of us hold a mirror, butthe reflection is the same.
In coming to this, all programs, scripts and narratives fade
away.
All hierarchies of race, gender, sex, power and belief systems
(03:13):
fade away All the energy spenton trying to understand who we
are and our purpose fade away,leaving us to exist, to be
curious, to be creative, to beyou, to be me, to be us, to be
Nice.
So that's what I wrote.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Nice bro, that's quite a conclusion.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
No.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I like that Especially.
We don't talk about.
We're kind of new talking aboutsome of these subjects,
especially with some whateverreligious backgrounds Not me,
but more for you but with fewbelieve in a collective
(03:57):
consciousness, which a lot ofcultures do, that it is all
connected, then that makes sense.
You're reflecting unconditionallove and existing is supporting
that, doing that From all theway down to whatever helping
(04:19):
someone opening the door who hasa couple bags that they carry,
to finding a cheap way to make,like air crete, homes for
thousands of people in a thirdworld country.
Doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You're still loving, and we're going to talk about
power and powerlessness in aminute.
But what's beautiful about whatyou just said is no matter who
you are, where you are, nomatter what you have, you have
the ability to reflectunconditional love and gratitude
.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, Exactly, that's a lot of power, Load of power.
It really is Damn.
I mean our grandparents, theyweren't like CEOs with some big
company, but they had theirlittle community and they had
unconditional love.
They've lit up the room, bothof them.
(05:17):
You saw it, you were incredibleand they had their friends and
everyone loved them, theircommunity.
The funeral not thousands, buta lot of people showed up.
That's their corner.
They lit up that corner, butthat still ripples out because
everyone they affected hasfamilies.
So it just kind of keeps going.
(05:38):
So, yeah, it's all connected, Imean in my reality it's all
connected.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Well, and of all of the books I've read, one of them
I read was about quantumphysics, and what we're
uncovering or discovering aboutquantum physics is through
science.
It is all connected.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, because isolation is pain.
Yeah, isolation is painful.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah.
Much of what we do, much of ourhabits, much of our pain all
comes from the fear of isolation.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And powerlessness, yeah, feeling of powerlessness.
Yeah, yeah, nice.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So what I like about this?
Yeah.
Is what do we spend our energyon Right?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, it's like, you mean like trying to figure out
the meaning of life?
Yes, yeah, then you misseverything, you miss it all, and
I'm super guilty of doing thisbecause I started with a
whatever you want to call itdoesn't matter, but spiritual
teacher.
Yeah.
Whatever, and you kind of startto that happens sometimes.
(06:52):
Yeah, you're like well, what isit?
I want to know, like I want toknow why I'm here.
Yeah, it's so like narrow.
Yes, especially if you believelike you've been here doing it
thousands or millions of times.
If you get into that, yeah, butwhatever, it's really easy to
zoom in.
Why am I here and you just misseverything?
(07:13):
Yeah, it just keeps going rightby you.
You don't see it.
You know, you don't appreciateall the beautiful stuff around
you right now.
Right now, all you see I callit the shit glasses.
So you put on the shit gogglesand all you see is shit.
You don't see the beauty.
That's what it feels like whenyou're really stuck in it.
So, no matter what you have,you know your amazing family and
(07:38):
your friends and your car thatactually works and yada, yada,
yada.
We're very privileged in thiscountry.
Yes, you put on the shitglasses and all you see is
everything.
You feel like you're missingbecause you're looking for the
existence.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah, and you think that, or we think that, or the
trap is, in my opinion, when weput on the shit glasses and
therefore our discontentment,our self-judgment, we're not
just looking at the worldthrough our shit glasses, we're
looking at ourself through ourshit glasses and then we create
(08:17):
this picture of what we think itshould be.
Yeah.
And then we then get this ideathat if we found our unique
purpose, that that purpose woulddrive us to get to that other
side.
Yeah, and some of these reallygood teachers.
(08:38):
You know, I see this contentonline and when you're in that
state, really solid, beautifuladvice can be really annoying.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Oh my gosh, it's terrible.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
It just makes you more angry.
I know it's the worst.
It's the worst.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So when you're stuck in it, no one.
It's almost like if anyone eventries to help you, you're just,
you're pissed yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Because it's like you go to someone.
You're so frustrated and maybeyou're depressed, maybe you're
anxious, maybe you're angry,maybe all these things, karen,
all this trauma, and you're justtrying to figure it out, and
you go to someone and you'rejust like why am I here?
And then someone says to behere, you just want to punch
(09:21):
them in the face, you just wantto punch them in the throat.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, no, totally yeah, it is simple and concept
but, not always an applicationright, which a lot of things are
.
Yes, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Yes, the best advice is usually the simplest advice,
but here's the steps betweenRight.
So when you're looking up to aplace you want to be and there's
a couple of steps and thenthere's like eight gaps In my
mind, I've been able toreconcile the steps between by
this and that's, in spending somuch energy and trying to
(09:58):
understand the meaning ofexistence, my place in that
meaning.
You know what's my purpose Ifyou're a religious person or, in
the framework of you believingGod, what's God's purpose for me
.
All of that energy is based onthis one assumption, and that's
(10:19):
that you are currently notenough.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, that you're not doing your, that you're not on
your path.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Or your higher path, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yes, and it goes back to this idea that there's one
soulmate for you in this entireworld of eight billion people
and you have to find that onesoulmate.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, that's an enormous amount of pressure.
Yeah, that's.
You might even call itridiculous.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Versus the reality that your soulmate is someone
that you choose to develop assoulmates over time.
You know you don't marry theone person that you're supposed
to marry.
You marry someone and youdecide to spend a life with them
(11:11):
and every day is a chance towork on that and build that and
grow that.
You, your soulmate, is theperson that at the end of your
life you spent your whole lifewith and then you die.
That's when they finally becomethat person that you chose to
mate with for that long.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Right, you made it with their soul.
Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, you soulmate it , bro, you don't start with a
soulmate.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Anyway, you develop, it is what you're saying yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
So all that is on this thing that we're not enough
, we don't have enough, and wegot to find what it is so that
we can have what we think weneed, so that we become this
thing that we think we should be.
Yeah.
When, when it sounds like some,some scripts.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Sounds like a script, Sounds like some, maybe some
society.
Maybe it was your parents,maybe it was a lot, maybe it was
all of it.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yeah, school yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You know, this is what life is supposed to look
like.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You're.
You're 35 years old and youdon't have these things Wow.
You don't know what yourpurpose is.
You are a failure, yeah.
Yeah.
You are worthless.
Yeah, that's what it feels likesometimes.
Yeah, but in I like what you'resaying.
I mean in scrambling, stuck inthat state.
Yeah.
You go on.
You can go on a hike in themost beautiful place in the
(12:33):
world.
Yeah, and you just miss you,just like you're not there.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah.
So what's the point?
Most the point.
And frantically, I don't knowwhy I'm tying this back to
relationships I've made for 19years, cause I don't know, I
don't really know a lot about.
I met my wife and told her Iwas going to marry her in like
four weeks, but anyway.
But you're in a room talking toa hundred people trying to find
(12:56):
a mate.
Yeah.
Are you?
And yeah, you just missed.
You missed the one.
You missed, just spending timewith someone and enjoying the
moment, you know, but that'swhat we do, so so back to the
next step.
So what's the next step?
And I think, had he becomepresent.
Yeah, I think that leads tothis concept of non-judgmental.
(13:19):
How do you find your.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
oh okay, let's do that.
Non-judgmental.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Because what do we do in judgment?
In my opinion, what I've seenfor me personally, judgment
pulls you out of the presentRight Cause.
For me, one thing that I said,that a major transformational
insights, new script for me wasI judge the world, but that was
just a projection of thejudgment that I had for myself.
(13:45):
Right, when I say you are allbad, that is just a projection,
but it's a core belief that I amnot good enough inside, right,
yeah, so I feel like thisconcept of presence.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So what does that mean for myself when I judge the
person with all the processedfood in their grocery cart?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah.
Well, it means this, it meansI'm a d*** yeah.
So in this concept ofnon-judgment, this is insight to
practice.
So in the practice, what I'mtrying to practice is radical
non-judgment, Right?
So back to your example.
(14:29):
You know, we go to the grocerystore, we look at someone else's
shopping cart and we see what'sin their cart and, like you
know, you're just all high andmighty with your nose up and
you're organic broccoli.
I used to do that.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I used to do that bad .
It's not as bad, honestly.
I used to get really I used tojudge way more when I'd see like
the kids and I'd see all thed***.
And I'd be like, wow you knowthey're drinking 200 milligrams
of whatever Sugar a day.
You know I was like the kidsare basically being poisoned.
Just all the stuff I'm justsaying in my head.
(15:02):
But if people have no ideabetween where they're at
financially, you can't reallyjudge them.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, I mean, if we replace that judgmental script.
There's a couple of things.
Number one because of lobbyingand misinformation, sugar is
subsidized, so products filledwith sugar are actually cheaper
than products that are organicor Totally.
That's thing one, and the otherthing you do is usually
(15:33):
addiction comes from a placewhere people don't feel loved or
valued enough Totally To beinspired enough to do the work
to be healthier and happier.
They're just filling a void.
They're just filling a void.
That person probably justdoesn't have someone in their
life that cares about themenough.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
It's funny Like some people could be empathetic for
maybe someone who's like doingdrugs, like man, they probably
had a tough life, they're justfilling the void.
And then look at someone withthe shopping cart, be like, wow,
look at this idiot.
But no, to your point, exactlythat.
And the sugary stuff stayscheap.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And sugar is more addictive than cocaine or as
addictive as cocaine.
We know that.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I watched an amazing thing on Instagram this guy, he
studies hormones endocrine.
Yeah, endocrinologist yeah.
But he goes through a list ofthings that Like make something
an addictive substance, mm-hmm,like a, like a tick goes,
whatever doesn't matter, but thepoint was is, at the end it was
(16:40):
sugar but, it takes all theboxes.
Yeah, you know it takes all theboxes of a drug.
Yeah, basically a hardcore drug.
I'm like you know smoking ajoint on Saturday you know, once
a week.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah, I said cocaine, I mean it's the book is hacking
of American mind that I readyeah, and he was an incandescent
just made.
It was the same guy.
And and he pretty much makesthe case that sugar should be
classified as a drug.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So anyway, non-judgment, non-judgment yeah
so here's the practice.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Okay, we judge a lot.
We judge based on moralframeworks.
Mm-hmm you know our moralsVersus someone else's morals
exactly.
Judge politically yeah, we justlive a life of.
We judge a lot, totally.
So the the exercise is Reallypaying attention to your mental
(17:33):
scripts and the things you sayabout people right, and Really
replacing those judgments with apositive script or a non non
judge, a non judgmental script.
I got a personal example, let'shear it.
So I have a house with acarport.
Our garbage cans are down thedriveway.
(17:55):
Mm-hmm.
So we will, or my wife will,take it back a trash and just
put it in the carport and when Iget home I'll take the trash to
the trash, can you?
know, there was a period in mylife where that would annoy me,
yeah, but then I replaced thatscript with I get to serve my
family by taking out the trash,nice.
So then fast forward to likethree weeks ago.
(18:15):
Yeah, and we have a nanny wholives in our house in a basement
apartment Mm-hmm, and she's anadult and she left trash out.
Hmm, did it change for you alittle bit?
It changed for me a little bit,and my first reaction was just
like You're, not my wife.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, who the hell are you?
However, you reeled it in right.
Yes, did you reel it back in?
I?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
reeled it back in.
I caught myself.
I was just like damn, you'regetting really pissed off.
And then I said I get to servethis house yeah, because she
does.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
She does a bunch of stuff around the house.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
She's amazing, yeah, it's an incredible babysitter.
She cleans, she helps you.
Trust her with the, with yourkids 100%.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, so that's so I get to serve right.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
The household yeah, yeah, and that's one thing I get
to do and that's just adifferent script totally.
You know how many, how manypeople judge when you're driving
down the road.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, if you get stuck in that loop, yeah, then
it's everything.
It's everything like look athow this idiot parked, like,
what is this person wearing?
Yeah, what is this person doing?
Why are they doing that?
Yeah, and if it's like that allday I've been around, I worked
with a guy like that, it's.
I will say right now, it's theonly person that ever made me
(19:29):
feel physically ill just fromtheir energy.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I'm dead serious.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, it's like vampire shit.
Yeah but we were in the carDriving around he's driving.
I should have just jumped outon the highway, I mean, imagine,
for like an hour straight.
Look at this fucking guy, lookat this, look at this.
You know, I can't believe.
Who could?
He's idiot?
Look at this idiot, look atthis idiot.
It was, it was hard.
Yeah, it was hard to be aroundthat for a long period of time.
(19:54):
Yeah, I felt stuck in that loop.
I felt a big hit.
That was an intense loop.
So anyway that might be extreme,because he hated everything and
hated everyone, and everyonewas an idiot, but that's the
extreme end.
What are the little onesthroughout the day?
Yeah, that you know you mightbe doing, I might be doing.
Yeah, it adds up.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah so.
I think a good example of thisI love this is a business quote
that I said before that I reallylike, and that's in the
business context.
If I'm late it's mycircumstance, If you're late
it's your character.
Yeah you know what, can theboss be late, but if the
employee does three times theyget fired.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's a classic Classic corporate judgment right
there.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, and that's just how we are as individuals like.
I, I'm going to, yeah, I'm downplay.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I'm going through this.
This is my thing, that's whyI'm late yeah you're late
because you're not trying hardenough.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah look at, look at spouse arguments.
You know, you know I've got alot of pressure at work, mm-hmm,
you know that circumstance.
But when you get home and thespouse may be irritated, it's
like why are you irritated?
You're just a you know, mm-hmm,it's character judgment.
Yeah, so that's that's just,that's natural for us.
(21:12):
Let's just say, let's just behonest, that's natural for us.
Of course our ego is going toreconcile our, you know yeah,
it's gonna protect number one.
Yeah, so the whole concept ishow do we start rewriting these
scripts to go from Judgmental toradical, non judgmental, and
(21:36):
the reason being tying us backto where we started?
Yeah.
If we learn how to not judge theworld and not judge ourselves,
then we won't be stuck in a loopwhere we feel like we're not
enough, which therefore we'regonna spend energy on trying to
figure out what we don't have tobe enough, and Then we are
(22:02):
going to miss the entire pointof what it means to be here,
which is to exist, to be present.
Yeah, that's the point, and thequestion may be is that enough
(22:23):
To just exist?
To just exist, well, I gottahave a purpose.
Oh, so your purpose is to justwork corporate America and have
a retirement and drive around acouple states and RV until you
die, like our.
Like we read history and like0.0001%, we read about that did
(22:44):
significant things that peopledocumented.
The rest of it is just normalpeople, the rest of it is just
people who lived their life anddied.
Yeah, so do we think that inour suburban town or in our city
we're gonna find the meaning ofexistence and that's gonna lead
us to become some conqueror ofour modern era?
(23:05):
Well it yeah.
It kinda goes back to thecollective.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, no, I don't know, but it's easy to get stuck
in that loop.
It's easy to get stuck in theloop.
Yeah, because I've been there.
Yeah, you're just, you'relooking for it.
And what is?
My thing.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
What is it I'm?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
What is my thing?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And here's what's interesting.
Here's a really good examplethat we're all can be pretty,
yeah, familiar with.
Have you ever been with someonethat you're having a
conversation with, but they'rejust looking at their phone?
No.
Or you're in a meeting with aboss, yeah, and they're looking
at their laptop.
Yeah, how does that?
(23:51):
Make you feel?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Like I'm gonna leave if it ever happens to me again.
Next time it happens to me, I'mgonna walk away.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, so if you're stuck in your head trying to
find your purpose in the meaningof existence, Same thing.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
That's the way your kids feel.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Your spouse feels, your friends feel, your life
feels because you're not present.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And again.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I'm not.
That's not a judgment statement.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Like.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I literally just got a glimpse of radical presence
within the past six months.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
You just got to taste that sweet nectar, bro.
I did After you know,30-something years of
disassociation.
Yeah, I think Maybe there isindividual purpose.
I don't know.
But growing and learning itfeels like for me that works,
(24:37):
yeah, and on that path you'veprobably find some stuff you
really enjoy.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You know, if you find something you're so good at,
yeah that you know.
Oh, I'm so good at helpingpeople dot, dot, dot, yeah what
I see usually when I'm seeingmost of these like pretty
content, high operating, likespiritual types or whatever.
They're helping people.
I don't really know anyone whojust disregards humanity yeah,
(25:07):
that I like enjoy listening toor talking to.
Yeah, and looks at everyone elseis like scum, yeah, and so I'm
enlightened for the fact thatall of you are scum, Exactly so
you know, there's kind of peoplethat try and increase their
consciousness and grow and learn.
It's all growing and learning,yeah, and on that path you might
(25:30):
find something that reallyreally clicks, yeah.
But I don't know if you justfind the thing that clicks and
then you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I don't think you just get it.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You have to start the process of growing and learning
.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
To find the thing that clicks, because you might
not even be ready for it.
Yeah.
Because if I told you right nowoh, your purpose, if, like, if
it was something extreme, I waslike bro, your purpose is to
have a $250 million nonprofitthat helps you know, hundreds of
thousands of people in theother side of the world.
You'd be like that soundsoverwhelming.
I can't do that.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Yeah, I'm not qualified, you're not ready.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, but let's say 10 years from now.
I told you that You'd be like,oh yeah.
I've actually been thinkingthat I finally have the
resources to do it.
Let's go.
Yeah, right Does that makesense, totally so.
Just because even if you hadthe information, just having it
doesn't mean you get to just doit.
Right, right, right, yeah.
So I think it all just startswith growing and learning.
Yeah, so there we go.
(26:25):
We just solved life.
Look at us.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No, but you know what I mean.
Yeah, you've said this beforeand I love this and I've
resonated with this and Imentioned this in a couple
episodes ago when I talked aboutmy goals for the year and
that's to be curious andcreative wherever that leads.
Yeah.
Like the pressure of it's goingto look like this or this needs
to be successful.
All that fades away into just.
(26:51):
I will be creative and I willbe curious and within our, our,
our true collective purpose,which is to reflect
unconditional love and gratitude.
If you just put those fourthings together, I will be
curious and I will be creative.
With non judgment, yes, freefrom judgment, right, free,
(27:12):
radical, non judgment.
I will be curious and creativeand I will reflect unconditional
love and gratitude In that, inthat I can be radically present.
Yeah.
Now, I didn't arrive at thatconclusion and I've been present
ever since.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
This is none.
Of it's a destination everRight.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Nothing.
None of it's.
There is no there is no there.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I mean there's no there, it's just here Right now,
right Like it's.
Just because you had a taste ofit doesn't mean it stays yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
But what's really cool about it is, for the first
time in my personal life, I feellike that's the right script in
my head to focus on and toremind myself of and to lean
into.
You know, just like we sharedin the last episode, I got to
lean into it when my kid was inthe hospital for several days
(28:10):
and my wife had surgeons.
It was just chaotic so.
And then there's going to betimes when things that I want to
work don't work.
Yeah, you know, there's goingto be times that I'm going to
have to do stuff that maybe Idon't want to do, you know, just
to live, and it's going to bechallenged.
Yeah, you know, but that's allhypotheticals and hypotheticals
(28:32):
of the future, and the futuredoesn't exist.
So right now, today.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That's a great way to have a lot of anxiety.
Yes, yes, that's like theperfect recipe.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yes, so, right now, today, I feel like, for me
personally yeah, it took me 12months, 37 therapy sessions,
some other things, a lot of,probably several books, a lot of
thinking and internalintrospective work and for me,
(29:02):
right now, as of today, onFebruary 2nd 2024, that's what
my purpose is.
Nice, that's what I believe themeaning of existence is and
that's what I hope and aspire toreflect, which is unconditional
love and gratitude.
Yeah, and the practice ofradical non-judgment, right.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And as a state, not a destination, absolutely yeah.
What's up bro?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey man, hey man, what you been working on.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
So episode 104 of the Focus Cast.
Okay, I wrote something theother day.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay, yeah, you sent it to me in a text.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
You know, I've been thinking about a lot of things,
I've been reading a lot ofthings.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Turns out when you listen to 45 audio books every
week.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I am on book number 37.
Okay, 37, my bad In two months,Um.
So you know, in going throughsome of this process, and
especially I'm 42, I'm 41,almost 42.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You're 41.
You've been doing EMDR thetherapy for a year now.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, just really going in.
Okay, and we said in the lastepisode I'm choosing not to
divorce my wife, marry a 20 yearold and buy a two seater.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's not the midlife crisis route you're
going, yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I prefer to better understand who I am.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
And You're not getting the red miata.
No, the masto me yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
No, I'm not, I'm not doing it.
No, I'm making a choice not to.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, um, we all get to choose our own midlife crisis
.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Right, we sure do, so my midlife crisis is really
just going deeper to understandwhat I want to do for however
long I live, right.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Maybe it's the second half yeah, so.
Do we ever really die?
That's a good question.
Or do we just keep recycling?
Anyway, different, different.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Well, in Georgia we think we're recycling, but it's
going to the dump they sell it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
They drop it off in some Asian country where it
probably gets burned.
Yeah, so anyway, anyway, welllet's you want to start it off.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And then we'll read your quote.
I'm Jonathan Noel and I'm BrianNoel.
This is the Focus.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Cast, will we help you reduce distractions,
increase focus so you can live alife with the most intentions?
All right, so here's what Iwrote.
Okay, now, this is under theframework trying to understand
the meaning of existence.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Nothing heavy or anything.
Just a light.
Just a light little topic forus.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah, so this is my conclusion.
Okay, I'm not projecting thatthis should be all of our
conclusions.
We'll get to that later.
Yes, so in trying to find themeaning of existence, we miss
the meaning of existence, whichis to exist fully awake and
(02:31):
fully present.
Behind our desire to understandthe meaning of existence is our
desire to find individualpurpose.
What's my purpose?
What's my purpose?
Yep, freaking out, which leadsus to miss our collective
purpose, which is to reflectunconditional love and gratitude
.
There is no hierarchy topurpose.
(02:52):
A single parent in a small townor CEO of a global corporation
is one and the same To reflectunconditional love and gratitude
, and this I love.
Each of us hold a mirror, butthe reflection is the same.
In coming to this, all programs, scripts and narratives fade
away.
All hierarchies of race, gender, sex, power and belief systems
(03:13):
fade away All the energy spenton trying to understand who we
are and our purpose fade away,leaving us to exist, to be
curious, to be creative, to beyou, to be me, to be us, to be
Nice.
So that's what I wrote.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Nice bro, that's quite a conclusion.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
No.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I like that Especially.
We don't talk about.
We're kind of new talking aboutsome of these subjects,
especially with some whateverreligious backgrounds Not me,
but more for you but with fewbelieve in a collective
(03:57):
consciousness, which a lot ofcultures do, that it is all
connected, then that makes sense.
You're reflecting unconditionallove and existing is supporting
that, doing that From all theway down to whatever helping
(04:19):
someone opening the door who hasa couple bags that they carry,
to finding a cheap way to make,like air crete, homes for
thousands of people in a thirdworld country.
Doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You're still loving, and we're going to talk about
power and powerlessness in aminute.
But what's beautiful about whatyou just said is no matter who
you are, where you are, nomatter what you have, you have
the ability to reflectunconditional love and gratitude
.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, Exactly, that's a lot of power, Load of power.
It really is Damn.
I mean our grandparents, theyweren't like CEOs with some big
company, but they had theirlittle community and they had
unconditional love.
They've lit up the room, bothof them.
(05:17):
You saw it, you were incredibleand they had their friends and
everyone loved them, theircommunity.
The funeral not thousands, buta lot of people showed up.
That's their corner.
They lit up that corner, butthat still ripples out because
everyone they affected hasfamilies.
So it just kind of keeps going.
(05:38):
So, yeah, it's all connected, Imean in my reality it's all
connected.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Well, and of all of the books I've read, one of them
I read was about quantumphysics, and what we're
uncovering or discovering aboutquantum physics is through
science.
It is all connected.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, because isolation is pain.
Yeah, isolation is painful.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah.
Much of what we do, much of ourhabits, much of our pain all
comes from the fear of isolation.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And powerlessness, yeah, feeling of powerlessness.
Yeah, yeah, nice.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So what I like about this?
Yeah.
Is what do we spend our energyon Right?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, it's like, you mean like trying to figure out
the meaning of life?
Yes, yeah, then you misseverything, you miss it all, and
I'm super guilty of doing thisbecause I started with a
whatever you want to call itdoesn't matter, but spiritual
teacher.
Yeah.
Whatever, and you kind of startto that happens sometimes.
(06:52):
Yeah, you're like well, what isit?
I want to know, like I want toknow why I'm here.
Yeah, it's so like narrow.
Yes, especially if you believelike you've been here doing it
thousands or millions of times.
If you get into that, yeah, butwhatever, it's really easy to
zoom in.
Why am I here and you just misseverything?
(07:13):
Yeah, it just keeps going rightby you.
You don't see it.
You know, you don't appreciateall the beautiful stuff around
you right now.
Right now, all you see I callit the shit glasses.
So you put on the shit gogglesand all you see is shit.
You don't see the beauty.
That's what it feels like whenyou're really stuck in it.
So, no matter what you have,you know your amazing family and
(07:38):
your friends and your car thatactually works and yada, yada,
yada.
We're very privileged in thiscountry.
Yes, you put on the shitglasses and all you see is
everything.
You feel like you're missingbecause you're looking for the
existence.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah, and you think that, or we think that, or the
trap is, in my opinion, when weput on the shit glasses and
therefore our discontentment,our self-judgment, we're not
just looking at the worldthrough our shit glasses, we're
looking at ourself through ourshit glasses and then we create
(08:17):
this picture of what we think itshould be.
Yeah.
And then we then get this ideathat if we found our unique
purpose, that that purpose woulddrive us to get to that other
side.
Yeah, and some of these reallygood teachers.
(08:38):
You know, I see this contentonline and when you're in that
state, really solid, beautifuladvice can be really annoying.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Oh my gosh, it's terrible.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
It just makes you more angry.
I know it's the worst.
It's the worst.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So when you're stuck in it, no one.
It's almost like if anyone eventries to help you, you're just,
you're pissed yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Because it's like you go to someone.
You're so frustrated and maybeyou're depressed, maybe you're
anxious, maybe you're angry,maybe all these things, karen,
all this trauma, and you're justtrying to figure it out, and
you go to someone and you'rejust like why am I here?
And then someone says to behere, you just want to punch
(09:21):
them in the face, you just wantto punch them in the throat.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, no, totally yeah, it is simple and concept
but, not always an applicationright, which a lot of things are
.
Yes, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Yes, the best advice is usually the simplest advice,
but here's the steps betweenRight.
So when you're looking up to aplace you want to be and there's
a couple of steps and thenthere's like eight gaps In my
mind, I've been able toreconcile the steps between by
this and that's, in spending somuch energy and trying to
(09:58):
understand the meaning ofexistence, my place in that
meaning.
You know what's my purpose Ifyou're a religious person or, in
the framework of you believingGod, what's God's purpose for me
.
All of that energy is based onthis one assumption, and that's
(10:19):
that you are currently notenough.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, that you're not doing your, that you're not on
your path.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Or your higher path, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yes, and it goes back to this idea that there's one
soulmate for you in this entireworld of eight billion people
and you have to find that onesoulmate.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, that's an enormous amount of pressure.
Yeah, that's.
You might even call itridiculous.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Versus the reality that your soulmate is someone
that you choose to develop assoulmates over time.
You know you don't marry theone person that you're supposed
to marry.
You marry someone and youdecide to spend a life with them
(11:11):
and every day is a chance towork on that and build that and
grow that.
You, your soulmate, is theperson that at the end of your
life you spent your whole lifewith and then you die.
That's when they finally becomethat person that you chose to
mate with for that long.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Right, you made it with their soul.
Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, you soulmate it , bro, you don't start with a
soulmate.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Anyway, you develop, it is what you're saying yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
So all that is on this thing that we're not enough
, we don't have enough, and wegot to find what it is so that
we can have what we think weneed, so that we become this
thing that we think we should be.
Yeah.
When, when it sounds like some,some scripts.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Sounds like a script, Sounds like some, maybe some
society.
Maybe it was your parents,maybe it was a lot, maybe it was
all of it.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yeah, school yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You know, this is what life is supposed to look
like.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You're.
You're 35 years old and youdon't have these things Wow.
You don't know what yourpurpose is.
You are a failure, yeah.
Yeah.
You are worthless.
Yeah, that's what it feels likesometimes.
Yeah, but in I like what you'resaying.
I mean in scrambling, stuck inthat state.
Yeah.
You go on.
You can go on a hike in themost beautiful place in the
(12:33):
world.
Yeah, and you just miss you,just like you're not there.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah.
So what's the point?
Most the point.
And frantically, I don't knowwhy I'm tying this back to
relationships I've made for 19years, cause I don't know, I
don't really know a lot about.
I met my wife and told her Iwas going to marry her in like
four weeks, but anyway.
But you're in a room talking toa hundred people trying to find
(12:56):
a mate.
Yeah.
Are you?
And yeah, you just missed.
You missed the one.
You missed, just spending timewith someone and enjoying the
moment, you know, but that'swhat we do, so so back to the
next step.
So what's the next step?
And I think, had he becomepresent.
Yeah, I think that leads tothis concept of non-judgmental.
(13:19):
How do you find your.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
oh okay, let's do that.
Non-judgmental.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Because what do we do in judgment?
In my opinion, what I've seenfor me personally, judgment
pulls you out of the presentRight Cause.
For me, one thing that I said,that a major transformational
insights, new script for me wasI judge the world, but that was
just a projection of thejudgment that I had for myself.
(13:45):
Right, when I say you are allbad, that is just a projection,
but it's a core belief that I amnot good enough inside, right,
yeah, so I feel like thisconcept of presence.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So what does that mean for myself when I judge the
person with all the processedfood in their grocery cart?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah.
Well, it means this, it meansI'm a d*** yeah.
So in this concept ofnon-judgment, this is insight to
practice.
So in the practice, what I'mtrying to practice is radical
non-judgment, Right?
So back to your example.
(14:29):
You know, we go to the grocerystore, we look at someone else's
shopping cart and we see what'sin their cart and, like you
know, you're just all high andmighty with your nose up and
you're organic broccoli.
I used to do that.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I used to do that bad .
It's not as bad, honestly.
I used to get really I used tojudge way more when I'd see like
the kids and I'd see all thed***.
And I'd be like, wow you knowthey're drinking 200 milligrams
of whatever Sugar a day.
You know I was like the kidsare basically being poisoned.
Just all the stuff I'm justsaying in my head.
(15:02):
But if people have no ideabetween where they're at
financially, you can't reallyjudge them.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, I mean, if we replace that judgmental script.
There's a couple of things.
Number one because of lobbyingand misinformation, sugar is
subsidized, so products filledwith sugar are actually cheaper
than products that are organicor Totally.
That's thing one, and the otherthing you do is usually
(15:33):
addiction comes from a placewhere people don't feel loved or
valued enough Totally To beinspired enough to do the work
to be healthier and happier.
They're just filling a void.
They're just filling a void.
That person probably justdoesn't have someone in their
life that cares about themenough.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
It's funny Like some people could be empathetic for
maybe someone who's like doingdrugs, like man, they probably
had a tough life, they're justfilling the void.
And then look at someone withthe shopping cart, be like, wow,
look at this idiot.
But no, to your point, exactlythat.
And the sugary stuff stayscheap.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And sugar is more addictive than cocaine or as
addictive as cocaine.
We know that.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I watched an amazing thing on Instagram this guy, he
studies hormones endocrine.
Yeah, endocrinologist yeah.
But he goes through a list ofthings that Like make something
an addictive substance, mm-hmm,like a, like a tick goes,
whatever doesn't matter, but thepoint was is, at the end it was
(16:40):
sugar but, it takes all theboxes.
Yeah, you know it takes all theboxes of a drug.
Yeah, basically a hardcore drug.
I'm like you know smoking ajoint on Saturday you know, once
a week.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah, I said cocaine, I mean it's the book is hacking
of American mind that I readyeah, and he was an incandescent
just made.
It was the same guy.
And and he pretty much makesthe case that sugar should be
classified as a drug.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So anyway, non-judgment, non-judgment yeah
so here's the practice.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Okay, we judge a lot.
We judge based on moralframeworks.
Mm-hmm you know our moralsVersus someone else's morals
exactly.
Judge politically yeah, we justlive a life of.
We judge a lot, totally.
So the the exercise is Reallypaying attention to your mental
(17:33):
scripts and the things you sayabout people right, and Really
replacing those judgments with apositive script or a non non
judge, a non judgmental script.
I got a personal example, let'shear it.
So I have a house with acarport.
Our garbage cans are down thedriveway.
(17:55):
Mm-hmm.
So we will, or my wife will,take it back a trash and just
put it in the carport and when Iget home I'll take the trash to
the trash, can you?
know, there was a period in mylife where that would annoy me,
yeah, but then I replaced thatscript with I get to serve my
family by taking out the trash,nice.
So then fast forward to likethree weeks ago.
(18:15):
Yeah, and we have a nanny wholives in our house in a basement
apartment Mm-hmm, and she's anadult and she left trash out.
Hmm, did it change for you alittle bit?
It changed for me a little bit,and my first reaction was just
like You're, not my wife.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, who the hell are you?
However, you reeled it in right.
Yes, did you reel it back in?
I?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
reeled it back in.
I caught myself.
I was just like damn, you'regetting really pissed off.
And then I said I get to servethis house yeah, because she
does.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
She does a bunch of stuff around the house.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
She's amazing, yeah, it's an incredible babysitter.
She cleans, she helps you.
Trust her with the, with yourkids 100%.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, so that's so I get to serve right.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
The household yeah, yeah, and that's one thing I get
to do and that's just adifferent script totally.
You know how many, how manypeople judge when you're driving
down the road.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, if you get stuck in that loop, yeah, then
it's everything.
It's everything like look athow this idiot parked, like,
what is this person wearing?
Yeah, what is this person doing?
Why are they doing that?
Yeah, and if it's like that allday I've been around, I worked
with a guy like that, it's.
I will say right now, it's theonly person that ever made me
(19:29):
feel physically ill just fromtheir energy.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I'm dead serious.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, it's like vampire shit.
Yeah but we were in the carDriving around he's driving.
I should have just jumped outon the highway, I mean, imagine,
for like an hour straight.
Look at this fucking guy, lookat this, look at this.
You know, I can't believe.
Who could?
He's idiot?
Look at this idiot, look atthis idiot.
It was, it was hard.
Yeah, it was hard to be aroundthat for a long period of time.
(19:54):
Yeah, I felt stuck in that loop.
I felt a big hit.
That was an intense loop.
So anyway that might be extreme,because he hated everything and
hated everyone, and everyonewas an idiot, but that's the
extreme end.
What are the little onesthroughout the day?
Yeah, that you know you mightbe doing, I might be doing.
Yeah, it adds up.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah so.
I think a good example of thisI love this is a business quote
that I said before that I reallylike, and that's in the
business context.
If I'm late it's mycircumstance, If you're late
it's your character.
Yeah you know what, can theboss be late, but if the
employee does three times theyget fired.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's a classic Classic corporate judgment right
there.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, and that's just how we are as individuals like.
I, I'm going to, yeah, I'm downplay.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I'm going through this.
This is my thing, that's whyI'm late yeah you're late
because you're not trying hardenough.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah look at, look at spouse arguments.
You know, you know I've got alot of pressure at work, mm-hmm,
you know that circumstance.
But when you get home and thespouse may be irritated, it's
like why are you irritated?
You're just a you know, mm-hmm,it's character judgment.
Yeah, so that's that's just,that's natural for us.
(21:12):
Let's just say, let's just behonest, that's natural for us.
Of course our ego is going toreconcile our, you know yeah,
it's gonna protect number one.
Yeah, so the whole concept ishow do we start rewriting these
scripts to go from Judgmental toradical, non judgmental, and
(21:36):
the reason being tying us backto where we started?
Yeah.
If we learn how to not judge theworld and not judge ourselves,
then we won't be stuck in a loopwhere we feel like we're not
enough, which therefore we'regonna spend energy on trying to
figure out what we don't have tobe enough, and Then we are
(22:02):
going to miss the entire pointof what it means to be here,
which is to exist, to be present.
Yeah, that's the point, and thequestion may be is that enough
(22:23):
To just exist?
To just exist, well, I gottahave a purpose.
Oh, so your purpose is to justwork corporate America and have
a retirement and drive around acouple states and RV until you
die, like our.
Like we read history and like0.0001%, we read about that did
(22:44):
significant things that peopledocumented.
The rest of it is just normalpeople, the rest of it is just
people who lived their life anddied.
Yeah, so do we think that inour suburban town or in our city
we're gonna find the meaning ofexistence and that's gonna lead
us to become some conqueror ofour modern era?
(23:05):
Well it yeah.
It kinda goes back to thecollective.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, no, I don't know, but it's easy to get stuck
in that loop.
It's easy to get stuck in theloop.
Yeah, because I've been there.
Yeah, you're just, you'relooking for it.
And what is?
My thing.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
What is it I'm?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
What is my thing?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And here's what's interesting.
Here's a really good examplethat we're all can be pretty,
yeah, familiar with.
Have you ever been with someonethat you're having a
conversation with, but they'rejust looking at their phone?
No.
Or you're in a meeting with aboss, yeah, and they're looking
at their laptop.
Yeah, how does that?
(23:51):
Make you feel?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Like I'm gonna leave if it ever happens to me again.
Next time it happens to me, I'mgonna walk away.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, so if you're stuck in your head trying to
find your purpose in the meaningof existence, Same thing.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
That's the way your kids feel.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Your spouse feels, your friends feel, your life
feels because you're not present.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
And again.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I'm not.
That's not a judgment statement.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Like.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I literally just got a glimpse of radical presence
within the past six months.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
You just got to taste that sweet nectar, bro.
I did After you know,30-something years of
disassociation.
Yeah, I think Maybe there isindividual purpose.
I don't know.
But growing and learning itfeels like for me that works,
(24:37):
yeah, and on that path you'veprobably find some stuff you
really enjoy.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You know, if you find something you're so good at,
yeah that you know.
Oh, I'm so good at helpingpeople dot, dot, dot, yeah what
I see usually when I'm seeingmost of these like pretty
content, high operating, likespiritual types or whatever.
They're helping people.
I don't really know anyone whojust disregards humanity yeah,
(25:07):
that I like enjoy listening toor talking to.
Yeah, and looks at everyone elseis like scum, yeah, and so I'm
enlightened for the fact thatall of you are scum, Exactly so
you know, there's kind of peoplethat try and increase their
consciousness and grow and learn.
It's all growing and learning,yeah, and on that path you might
(25:30):
find something that reallyreally clicks, yeah.
But I don't know if you justfind the thing that clicks and
then you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I don't think you just get it.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You have to start the process of growing and learning
.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
To find the thing that clicks, because you might
not even be ready for it.
Yeah.
Because if I told you right nowoh, your purpose, if, like, if
it was something extreme, I waslike bro, your purpose is to
have a $250 million nonprofitthat helps you know, hundreds of
thousands of people in theother side of the world.
You'd be like that soundsoverwhelming.
I can't do that.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Yeah, I'm not qualified, you're not ready.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, but let's say 10 years from now.
I told you that You'd be like,oh yeah.
I've actually been thinkingthat I finally have the
resources to do it.
Let's go.
Yeah, right Does that makesense, totally so.
Just because even if you hadthe information, just having it
doesn't mean you get to just doit.
Right, right, right, yeah.
So I think it all just startswith growing and learning.
Yeah, so there we go.
(26:25):
We just solved life.
Look at us.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No, but you know what I mean.
Yeah, you've said this beforeand I love this and I've
resonated with this and Imentioned this in a couple
episodes ago when I talked aboutmy goals for the year and
that's to be curious andcreative wherever that leads.
Yeah.
Like the pressure of it's goingto look like this or this needs
to be successful.
All that fades away into just.
(26:51):
I will be creative and I willbe curious and within our, our,
our true collective purpose,which is to reflect
unconditional love and gratitude.
If you just put those fourthings together, I will be
curious and I will be creative.
With non judgment, yes, freefrom judgment, right, free,
(27:12):
radical, non judgment.
I will be curious and creativeand I will reflect unconditional
love and gratitude In that, inthat I can be radically present.
Yeah.
Now, I didn't arrive at thatconclusion and I've been present
ever since.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
This is none.
Of it's a destination everRight.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Nothing.
None of it's.
There is no there is no there.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I mean there's no there, it's just here Right now,
right Like it's.
Just because you had a taste ofit doesn't mean it stays yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
But what's really cool about it is, for the first
time in my personal life, I feellike that's the right script in
my head to focus on and toremind myself of and to lean
into.
You know, just like we sharedin the last episode, I got to
lean into it when my kid was inthe hospital for several days
(28:10):
and my wife had surgeons.
It was just chaotic so.
And then there's going to betimes when things that I want to
work don't work.
Yeah, you know, there's goingto be times that I'm going to
have to do stuff that maybe Idon't want to do, you know, just
to live, and it's going to bechallenged.
Yeah, you know, but that's allhypotheticals and hypotheticals
(28:32):
of the future, and the futuredoesn't exist.
So right now, today.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That's a great way to have a lot of anxiety.
Yes, yes, that's like theperfect recipe.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yes, so, right now, today, I feel like, for me
personally yeah, it took me 12months, 37 therapy sessions,
some other things, a lot of,probably several books, a lot of
thinking and internalintrospective work and for me,
(29:02):
right now, as of today, onFebruary 2nd 2024, that's what
my purpose is.
Nice, that's what I believe themeaning of existence is and
that's what I hope and aspire toreflect, which is unconditional
love and gratitude.
Yeah, and the practice ofradical non-judgment, right.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And as a state, not a destination, absolutely yeah.
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