August 27, 2025 • 18 mins
In this episode, Savannah finally offers proof that she has been writing a Young Adult book series since October 2019! As the final edits and creative efforts to get the project across the finish line are still ongoing ... and seemingly never ending in and of itself ... the project is so close to being completed. Enjoy the first chapter of the prologue from the first book in the Nix Series, Nix - Rebirth (Book 1)
-----
SAVANNAH HAUK is the author of “Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal” and “Living with Crossdressing: Discovering your True Identity“. While both focus on the male-to-female (mtf) crossdresser, “Defining a New Normal” delves into crossdressing and relationships and “Discovering Your True Identity” looks at the individual crossdressing journey. Her latest achievements are two TEDx Talks, one entitled "Demystifying the Crossdressing Experience" and the other "13 Milliseconds: First Impressions of Gender Expression". Savannah is a male-to-female dual-gender crossdresser who is visible in the Upstate of South Carolina, active in local groups and advocating as a public speaker at LGBTQ+ conferences and workshops across the United States. At the moment, Savannah is working on more books, blogs, and projects focused on letting every crossdresser–young and mature–find their own confidence, expression, identity and voice.
IG @savannahhauk | FB @savannahhauk | FB @livingwithcrossdressing | web @livingwithcrossdressing.com
------
JULIE RUBENSTEIN is a dedicated ally to transgender community and the certified image consultant and co-owner of Fox and Hanger. F&H is a unique service for transgender women and male-to-female crossdressers that creates customized virtual fashion and style “lookbooks”. Julie intuitively connects with each client to find them appropriate clothes, makeup, hair, and shape wear all in alignment with their budget, body type, authentic style and unique personality. Julie also provides enfemme coaching and wardrobe support. Julie has made it her life’s work to help MTF individuals feel safe and confident when it comes to their female persona, expression and identity.
IG @Juliemtfstyle | FB @foxandhanger | web @FoxandHanger.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
You're listening to the Fox and the Phoenix podcast
Understanding the Feminine CrossDressing experience.
I'm Savannah Hawk, dual gender male to female cross dresser,
LGBTQ plus advocate, TEDx speaker, and author of the
Living with Cross Dressing book series.
(00:28):
And I'm Julie Rubenstein, proud ally and Co founder of Fox and
hanger.com, a feminine styling and life coaching service for
cross dressers and transgender women.
Hey, Julie. Hey, listeners at the Fox and
the Things podcast. We love you.
And today, while Julie is away, the cross dresser will play
(00:51):
Julie's off jet setting to the East Coast for some lovely time
away with friends and family. So today I figured I would.
After a long long just stating claims that I have a book series
coming out for queer young adults.
I have spent some time in the last week or two goofing around
(01:13):
and trying new products to try to come up with some social
media marketing, and as a resultI took my first chapter of the
first book of the series and tried to do multi voice
narration with sound effects with a little bit of music.
What I have for you today, hopefully you'll like it, is
about 15 minutes of the very first inkling of the story.
(01:39):
It is not finish, finish, but it's definitely not rough draft.
And for those of you who do not know what my story's about, I
elevator pitch it as a cross between A Handmaid's Tale,
Logan's Run, Hunger Games, a little bit of The Running Man
because I'm a huge Stephen King fan.
So I'm looking forward to the reboot of that this summer.
(02:01):
It really focuses on kids who have grown up in a society that
is very conformist, very much not endorsing of marginalized
citizens anything outside of a codex of laws from millennia
ago. And society has been built upon
that ideology. And So what we have here is a
(02:24):
young just becoming a teenager who finds himself bullied in
society. He's slight of frame, he's an
easy target. And during such time, he finds
himself in situations where along the way, he also becomes a
target for a different reason, by an entity that comes from
(02:46):
within the earth. Regeneration.
This entity regenerates, renews itself, and finds a host that
they have a tethered connection to.
The soulmate connection to. The whole story revolves around
this young man's understanding of this creature trying to get
(03:07):
away from the creature being haunted by agents of the
government for different reasons, aside from this
earthbound entity that has formed a symbiotic relationship
to him. And it's about the stages of
grief, the stages of childhood loss, the stages of how society
sees a person. And it all comes to a head in
(03:28):
the last couple books. Battle between the rights of
autonomy, rights of authenticityversus a very regimented
government that anything outsidethe norm as something to be
punished. This project that I've been
working on for so long and just starting to see the light, the
(03:48):
end of the tunnel and I'm super proud of the work I was able to
do and had a lot of fun putting together this snippet
introduction to it. So without further ado, the 1st
chapter of the prologue for the Knicks saga, Knicks Rebirth.
Enjoy. Nick's book 1 Rebirth written by
(04:10):
Savannah Hawk. From the Maker comes all things
past, present, and future. From nothingness He sprang forth
us all, creating us in the pure and unadulterated visage of His
own image. To corrupt yourself is to
corrupt the Maker's likeness, and is punishable by the
(04:30):
harshest and most dire means, for to correct such errancy is
to return each of us to the heart of the Maker himself.
The Codex. The book of A311.
Then. The union of souls is only to be
blessed by the Maker. All others are false in his
(04:51):
eyes. The Codex.
The book of A541. Jack and panamorphy
steeplechase. The splash of rainwater dripping
off the pipes into overflowing pools was deafening and
draining. Panamorphy felt Jack's life
force slowly ebb from their shared physical body.
(05:11):
Life was too vital to be snuffedout in such a manner, nor by
such brutes. This was an imbalance of life,
and life was not supposed to endthis way.
Panamorphy's awakening and joining to Jack should have been
easy and blissful. Initiating and tethering a
connection to this plane of existence was meant to be a
beautiful union of souls. Not such a struggle.
(05:36):
They pulled their hand away fromtheir side, momentarily lost.
And how the smears of blood glisten so brightly on their
fingertips. This oxygen rich fluid was life
inside these human shells, yet it's so quickly clotted and
dried once exposed to the environment.
Jack's body was so impermanent, so prone to injury and pain.
(05:57):
Panamorphic inhaled ever so slightly as to lessen the sharp
pain from the gunshot wound. Every moment hurt the them both,
and even as the one in control, Panamorphy struggled to move
their body. I can't, it hurts too much.
Jack's trembling voice was a pained whimper.
I'm sorry. Panamorphy replied aloud to him,
(06:19):
hearing his agony and their thoughts and trying to burden
his pain in their shared heart. Panamorphy silently and
privately lamented at the pain and trauma they had inflicted on
Jack as her host. When Panamorphy had gained
enough sentience to spiritually incorporate on the earthly
plane, their essence was quicklydrawn to Jack's vessel, to his
(06:39):
spirit and heart, commencing a more tangible birth into this
corrupted physical world. I'm sorry.
They repeated in a whisper, booming clanks bouncing off
crumbling nearby cast iron pipesdrew Panamorphy away from their
recollections, returning them painfully to their dank and
rusting surroundings in this shuttered industrial works.
(07:01):
Panamorph. I gritted their teeth as they
called up enough energy to drag them forward.
Haven is close. Morphe, I'm so tired.
I know my love. They whispered.
My strength is yours if you allow it.
I'm afraid. I know.
Panamorphy felt a warm tear falldown their cheek.
(07:24):
I do not want you to die, Jack. I do not see other options but
cannot force myself onto you. It has always been your decision
to make. I know, Morphe, I know.
Faint echoing metallic groans surrounded them, the sounds of
stressed steel somewhat drowned out by the downpour of cold
(07:45):
rain. The trusses had rusted away long
ago after its useful industrial era, the roof folding down like
an imperfect black hole. An angry black and purple night
sky swirled above. Was that the sound of barking in
the distance? Panamorphi recalled that the
Hella wars of the magistrate once used animals to pursue
(08:05):
their kind before a viral outbreak eradicated the species
centuries ago. They understood their affinity
to those creatures as panamorphy, and the Neeks were
themselves an almost extinct species.
We know you're here. A voice boomed over an
amplification system. The declaration sharply bounced
off the tangle of metal but was quickly swallowed up by the
(08:28):
incessant patter of rain. The words clutched at their
heart tight enough to make it skip several fearful beats.
Nick's entities always encountered those voices upon
returning to the physical world,always hoping the hatred of
society would have quieted in the times in between.
Panamorphy heard layered in thisvoice an air of superiority,
(08:50):
disapproval, and disgust. Those four simple words bled
misplaced self righteousness andarrogance born from a place of
privilege and power. As always, the voice exuded
absolute control and the fear mongering that constantly
challenged them each time they emerged onto this physical
plane. The voice of the Magistrate and
(09:12):
their predatory XO armor enginesof destruction always aim to
hunt down and eliminate the Nieks each generation.
Panamorphy knew this, as they knew all the history of those
warriors who came before them. Come.
Panamorphy said. We must go.
Through this abandoned factory, they use the maze of twisted
(09:34):
milling machines and assembly line conveyors as intermittent
hand holds to limp across the shop floor.
They shuddered with wheezing breaths with each step.
The Hellawars Flushet sniper round that had clipped them at
the advent of the hunt had collapsed their right lung.
It had shattered a rib upon entry and nearly found its fatal
(09:55):
mark as it embedded an inch below their heart.
More sharp barks echoed in the distance from the direction they
had come. Were they more metallic than
organic? Panamorphy sensed no immediate
danger, but the Hella Wars were well equipped and well trained.
Panamorphy's ancient magics seemed less and less practical
(10:16):
against the Hella Wars rapidly advancing war technology.
Tired. I know Jack.
Panamorphy's words labored through a wheeze.
The sharp pain in their chest intensified, their vision
blurred, and every muscle movement felt heavy.
Only a little farther, I promise.
(10:36):
There's no place to go. A crackling and a magnified
voice thundered throughout the space.
Panamorphy was surprised by the desperate sound of the whimper
that escaped their throat. Some of the sounds were from
Jack's fear, and the rest were from Panamorphy, taking on the
brunt of their physical pain andtheir desperate want to escape
before they were caught and killed.
(10:59):
A faint aura of light came through a thin vertical window
set in the double doors, their exit less than 100 meters away.
The light in the vertical slit suddenly disappeared, blocked by
a hulking silhouette pulsing with its own dots and stripes of
illuminated blue light. The Helliwere Signature tech
heavy armor. Like I said, there's nowhere to
(11:23):
go. The hulking Hellawar said, his
booming voice no longer digitally amplified but just as
commanding. He slowly sidestepped between
concrete slabs, making himself as small a target as possible
behind the debris cover. Panamorphy backed toward the
center of the space again, peering through the darkness for
other escape routes. The hydraulics of the Hellawar's
(11:44):
armor hissed with each movement.The gaping hole in the roof
revealed an angry and swirling night sky, an unlikely escape
route. The soldier loomed between them
and their intended freedom. Panamorphy heard a new sound
layered over the pneumatic hisses and gear grinding of the
Hellawars armored exoskeleton. A whirring buzz joined in from
(12:07):
above. A small drone with a substantial
single internal propulsion bladeand a blinding spotlight hovered
along the roof line, illuminating them and the Hella
War in its cone of brilliant white blue light.
Panamorphy saw the Helliwar moreclearly.
He was an imposing man, maybe twice Jack's age, made more
(12:27):
imposing by the massive exoskeleton of armor he wore
mounted to a robotic steady armature curved over his left
shoulder. The Hella War boasted a long
barreled, bulky weapon resembling a large diameter
rifle or cannon. Panamorphy knew it would kill
them and Jack. Jack.
They whispered, only hearing hissobs in their otherwise silent
(12:48):
shared mind. Jack, we need to bond or we will
die here. I don't.
Jack's thought trailed off. Panamorphy might be in control
of their body and shouldering Jack's physical pain, but death
would still find them if the Hella War unleashed the full
strength of its weapon systems. And if Jack died, Panamorphy
(13:10):
would simply cease to exist and become another failed part of
Nick's history. The Hellawar tilted his weapon
toward their chest. His piercing cobalt blue eyes,
smooth face and crew cut blonde hair were visible through the
helmets clear visor. His eyes narrowed as he
concentrated on his on board heads up displays.
Jack. Panamorphy whispered through a
(13:32):
labored breath. We've come to the end by the
maker. The Hellawar said with a smile.
The Helliwar zeroed in on them as the hovering drone kept them
plainly visible in the center ofits cone of light.
Jack Panamorphy trailed off. Fine.
(13:53):
You must say it, Jack. Panamorphy pleaded, but heard
nothing. Their eyelids were heavy, the
effort to keep them open not as tempting as the thought of a
long, heavy sleep. The pain from the gunshot had
hazed into a dull ache as the synapses firing between nerves
slowed. They shot left out of the cone
of the drone spotlight. The effort exhausted them as
(14:15):
they desperately hugged the broken edge of a slab of
uprooted reinforced concrete. No exits.
Jack's body would not survive a direct blast from the Hella Wars
weapon. A hot tear fell down their face.
Panamorphi had failed. Another failure in a long line
of failures. And worse, Panamorphy had single
(14:36):
handedly perpetrated Jack's needless death in the process.
The Hellawar slid soundlessly from one outcropping of cover to
another. Even with the weight of the
armor and weaponry, Panamorphy brace themselves and Jack for
what they knew would be their final stand.
Moving back a step, their heel slipped off a rounded Pebble,
sending them falling hard onto ametal Truss.
(14:58):
They opened their eyes to realize the Hellawar had gotten
several meters closer. Had they blacked out?
Panamorphy labored to lift theirweight back to standing, a
mewing sound escaping their throat.
I accept Morphe. I accept.
Their heart instantly filled with warmth as Jack spoke those
words. They smiled, finally connecting
(15:20):
them to their soulmate. Panamorphy gasped as they mewed
through gurgling lungs and a rawthroat, as Jack's physical
torment was now entirely theirs to experience.
The start of the bonding was bitter sweet, as this could
still be their final moments together.
The raindrops pouring through the roof into the factory, even
(15:42):
with a clearview of a dot of piercing stars between clouds
slowed and then hung in gravity defying suspension in the
pulsing and humming air, the drone spotlight reflecting off
them like glistening crystallinetears.
Panamorphy saw into every dark corner of the factory as if in
stark lavender sunlight. The blue LE DS of the Helliwar's
(16:05):
armor drifted lazily in the air like floating fluorescent brush
strokes of dissipating light. The hot titanium skin of the
cannon mounted to the Helliwar'sarmature shimmered and sizzled
as the rain splattered against it.
The Helliwar muttered as he squeezed the trigger.
A resounding boom echoed throughout the space, raindrops
(16:27):
vaporized or blasted outward as the force of the weapons
discharge transformed them into hardened projectiles, pelting
panamorphy like a hailstorm a moment before the Sonic blast
slammed into them. They had no leverage, the sound
wave lifting them off their feetand flinging them into a
concrete wall and into semi consciousness.
The pain of additional broken ribs Jarred them back to
(16:48):
consciousness as they slid down the wall.
They hit the uneven floor with anew cacophony of sharp agony in
their left ankle. While Jack had never felt so
much anguish, the Nieks before, Panamorphy had endured much
worse at the hands of other Hellawars.
It's time. Panamorphy told Jack as they
struggled to get back to their feet from the heap of industrial
debris and abandoned machinery, an aura of renewed energy
(17:11):
pulsing around their body. I know.
Thank you. Well, I hope you like that.
I've been having lots of fun putting it together, stretching
my creative wings a little bit because this is something I'm
not used to doing. While I do edit the podcast, I
really don't do any sort of audiobook work.
So I'm learning a bunch of different crafts, trying to put
(17:32):
it all together and using some of my existing knowledge that I
have with the podcast editing. While it's not a perfectly
finished product at the moment, I do hope it gives you the vibe
for what's to come in the series.
And with that, I'll say to you, love you and miss you all.
We'll be back to Joe and I together soon once we get our
(17:53):
schedules all in alignment again.
In the meantime, until next time, you can find me on
Facebook at Savannah Hawk or at Living with Cross Dressing and
on Instagram at Savannah Hawk. Remember, that's HAUK and to
learn more, go to my website livingwithcrossdressing.com.
(18:13):
And you can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Fox and Hanger
or at Julie MTF Style, as well as on our website at
foxandhanger.com. Julie.
It's your moment. The Fox and the Phoenix podcast
uses Spotify for creators. Copyright 2025.
(18:36):
Yes, nailed it.
You're listening to the Fox and the Phoenix podcast
Understanding the Feminine CrossDressing experience.
I'm Savannah Hawk, dual gender male to female cross dresser,
LGBTQ plus advocate, TEDx speaker, and author of the
Living with Cross Dressing book series.
(00:28):
And I'm Julie Rubenstein, proud ally and Co founder of Fox and
hanger.com, a feminine styling and life coaching service for
cross dressers and transgender women.
Hey, Julie. Hey, listeners at the Fox and
the Things podcast. We love you.
And today, while Julie is away, the cross dresser will play
(00:51):
Julie's off jet setting to the East Coast for some lovely time
away with friends and family. So today I figured I would.
After a long long just stating claims that I have a book series
coming out for queer young adults.
I have spent some time in the last week or two goofing around
(01:13):
and trying new products to try to come up with some social
media marketing, and as a resultI took my first chapter of the
first book of the series and tried to do multi voice
narration with sound effects with a little bit of music.
What I have for you today, hopefully you'll like it, is
about 15 minutes of the very first inkling of the story.
(01:39):
It is not finish, finish, but it's definitely not rough draft.
And for those of you who do not know what my story's about, I
elevator pitch it as a cross between A Handmaid's Tale,
Logan's Run, Hunger Games, a little bit of The Running Man
because I'm a huge Stephen King fan.
So I'm looking forward to the reboot of that this summer.
(02:01):
It really focuses on kids who have grown up in a society that
is very conformist, very much not endorsing of marginalized
citizens anything outside of a codex of laws from millennia
ago. And society has been built upon
that ideology. And So what we have here is a
(02:24):
young just becoming a teenager who finds himself bullied in
society. He's slight of frame, he's an
easy target. And during such time, he finds
himself in situations where along the way, he also becomes a
target for a different reason, by an entity that comes from
(02:46):
within the earth. Regeneration.
This entity regenerates, renews itself, and finds a host that
they have a tethered connection to.
The soulmate connection to. The whole story revolves around
this young man's understanding of this creature trying to get
(03:07):
away from the creature being haunted by agents of the
government for different reasons, aside from this
earthbound entity that has formed a symbiotic relationship
to him. And it's about the stages of
grief, the stages of childhood loss, the stages of how society
sees a person. And it all comes to a head in
(03:28):
the last couple books. Battle between the rights of
autonomy, rights of authenticityversus a very regimented
government that anything outsidethe norm as something to be
punished. This project that I've been
working on for so long and just starting to see the light, the
(03:48):
end of the tunnel and I'm super proud of the work I was able to
do and had a lot of fun putting together this snippet
introduction to it. So without further ado, the 1st
chapter of the prologue for the Knicks saga, Knicks Rebirth.
Enjoy. Nick's book 1 Rebirth written by
(04:10):
Savannah Hawk. From the Maker comes all things
past, present, and future. From nothingness He sprang forth
us all, creating us in the pure and unadulterated visage of His
own image. To corrupt yourself is to
corrupt the Maker's likeness, and is punishable by the
(04:30):
harshest and most dire means, for to correct such errancy is
to return each of us to the heart of the Maker himself.
The Codex. The book of A311.
Then. The union of souls is only to be
blessed by the Maker. All others are false in his
(04:51):
eyes. The Codex.
The book of A541. Jack and panamorphy
steeplechase. The splash of rainwater dripping
off the pipes into overflowing pools was deafening and
draining. Panamorphy felt Jack's life
force slowly ebb from their shared physical body.
(05:11):
Life was too vital to be snuffedout in such a manner, nor by
such brutes. This was an imbalance of life,
and life was not supposed to endthis way.
Panamorphy's awakening and joining to Jack should have been
easy and blissful. Initiating and tethering a
connection to this plane of existence was meant to be a
beautiful union of souls. Not such a struggle.
(05:36):
They pulled their hand away fromtheir side, momentarily lost.
And how the smears of blood glisten so brightly on their
fingertips. This oxygen rich fluid was life
inside these human shells, yet it's so quickly clotted and
dried once exposed to the environment.
Jack's body was so impermanent, so prone to injury and pain.
(05:57):
Panamorphic inhaled ever so slightly as to lessen the sharp
pain from the gunshot wound. Every moment hurt the them both,
and even as the one in control, Panamorphy struggled to move
their body. I can't, it hurts too much.
Jack's trembling voice was a pained whimper.
I'm sorry. Panamorphy replied aloud to him,
(06:19):
hearing his agony and their thoughts and trying to burden
his pain in their shared heart. Panamorphy silently and
privately lamented at the pain and trauma they had inflicted on
Jack as her host. When Panamorphy had gained
enough sentience to spiritually incorporate on the earthly
plane, their essence was quicklydrawn to Jack's vessel, to his
(06:39):
spirit and heart, commencing a more tangible birth into this
corrupted physical world. I'm sorry.
They repeated in a whisper, booming clanks bouncing off
crumbling nearby cast iron pipesdrew Panamorphy away from their
recollections, returning them painfully to their dank and
rusting surroundings in this shuttered industrial works.
(07:01):
Panamorph. I gritted their teeth as they
called up enough energy to drag them forward.
Haven is close. Morphe, I'm so tired.
I know my love. They whispered.
My strength is yours if you allow it.
I'm afraid. I know.
Panamorphy felt a warm tear falldown their cheek.
(07:24):
I do not want you to die, Jack. I do not see other options but
cannot force myself onto you. It has always been your decision
to make. I know, Morphe, I know.
Faint echoing metallic groans surrounded them, the sounds of
stressed steel somewhat drowned out by the downpour of cold
(07:45):
rain. The trusses had rusted away long
ago after its useful industrial era, the roof folding down like
an imperfect black hole. An angry black and purple night
sky swirled above. Was that the sound of barking in
the distance? Panamorphi recalled that the
Hella wars of the magistrate once used animals to pursue
(08:05):
their kind before a viral outbreak eradicated the species
centuries ago. They understood their affinity
to those creatures as panamorphy, and the Neeks were
themselves an almost extinct species.
We know you're here. A voice boomed over an
amplification system. The declaration sharply bounced
off the tangle of metal but was quickly swallowed up by the
(08:28):
incessant patter of rain. The words clutched at their
heart tight enough to make it skip several fearful beats.
Nick's entities always encountered those voices upon
returning to the physical world,always hoping the hatred of
society would have quieted in the times in between.
Panamorphy heard layered in thisvoice an air of superiority,
(08:50):
disapproval, and disgust. Those four simple words bled
misplaced self righteousness andarrogance born from a place of
privilege and power. As always, the voice exuded
absolute control and the fear mongering that constantly
challenged them each time they emerged onto this physical
plane. The voice of the Magistrate and
(09:12):
their predatory XO armor enginesof destruction always aim to
hunt down and eliminate the Nieks each generation.
Panamorphy knew this, as they knew all the history of those
warriors who came before them. Come.
Panamorphy said. We must go.
Through this abandoned factory, they use the maze of twisted
(09:34):
milling machines and assembly line conveyors as intermittent
hand holds to limp across the shop floor.
They shuddered with wheezing breaths with each step.
The Hellawars Flushet sniper round that had clipped them at
the advent of the hunt had collapsed their right lung.
It had shattered a rib upon entry and nearly found its fatal
(09:55):
mark as it embedded an inch below their heart.
More sharp barks echoed in the distance from the direction they
had come. Were they more metallic than
organic? Panamorphy sensed no immediate
danger, but the Hella Wars were well equipped and well trained.
Panamorphy's ancient magics seemed less and less practical
(10:16):
against the Hella Wars rapidly advancing war technology.
Tired. I know Jack.
Panamorphy's words labored through a wheeze.
The sharp pain in their chest intensified, their vision
blurred, and every muscle movement felt heavy.
Only a little farther, I promise.
(10:36):
There's no place to go. A crackling and a magnified
voice thundered throughout the space.
Panamorphy was surprised by the desperate sound of the whimper
that escaped their throat. Some of the sounds were from
Jack's fear, and the rest were from Panamorphy, taking on the
brunt of their physical pain andtheir desperate want to escape
before they were caught and killed.
(10:59):
A faint aura of light came through a thin vertical window
set in the double doors, their exit less than 100 meters away.
The light in the vertical slit suddenly disappeared, blocked by
a hulking silhouette pulsing with its own dots and stripes of
illuminated blue light. The Helliwere Signature tech
heavy armor. Like I said, there's nowhere to
(11:23):
go. The hulking Hellawar said, his
booming voice no longer digitally amplified but just as
commanding. He slowly sidestepped between
concrete slabs, making himself as small a target as possible
behind the debris cover. Panamorphy backed toward the
center of the space again, peering through the darkness for
other escape routes. The hydraulics of the Hellawar's
(11:44):
armor hissed with each movement.The gaping hole in the roof
revealed an angry and swirling night sky, an unlikely escape
route. The soldier loomed between them
and their intended freedom. Panamorphy heard a new sound
layered over the pneumatic hisses and gear grinding of the
Hellawars armored exoskeleton. A whirring buzz joined in from
(12:07):
above. A small drone with a substantial
single internal propulsion bladeand a blinding spotlight hovered
along the roof line, illuminating them and the Hella
War in its cone of brilliant white blue light.
Panamorphy saw the Helliwar moreclearly.
He was an imposing man, maybe twice Jack's age, made more
(12:27):
imposing by the massive exoskeleton of armor he wore
mounted to a robotic steady armature curved over his left
shoulder. The Hella War boasted a long
barreled, bulky weapon resembling a large diameter
rifle or cannon. Panamorphy knew it would kill
them and Jack. Jack.
They whispered, only hearing hissobs in their otherwise silent
(12:48):
shared mind. Jack, we need to bond or we will
die here. I don't.
Jack's thought trailed off. Panamorphy might be in control
of their body and shouldering Jack's physical pain, but death
would still find them if the Hella War unleashed the full
strength of its weapon systems. And if Jack died, Panamorphy
(13:10):
would simply cease to exist and become another failed part of
Nick's history. The Hellawar tilted his weapon
toward their chest. His piercing cobalt blue eyes,
smooth face and crew cut blonde hair were visible through the
helmets clear visor. His eyes narrowed as he
concentrated on his on board heads up displays.
Jack. Panamorphy whispered through a
(13:32):
labored breath. We've come to the end by the
maker. The Hellawar said with a smile.
The Helliwar zeroed in on them as the hovering drone kept them
plainly visible in the center ofits cone of light.
Jack Panamorphy trailed off. Fine.
(13:53):
You must say it, Jack. Panamorphy pleaded, but heard
nothing. Their eyelids were heavy, the
effort to keep them open not as tempting as the thought of a
long, heavy sleep. The pain from the gunshot had
hazed into a dull ache as the synapses firing between nerves
slowed. They shot left out of the cone
of the drone spotlight. The effort exhausted them as
(14:15):
they desperately hugged the broken edge of a slab of
uprooted reinforced concrete. No exits.
Jack's body would not survive a direct blast from the Hella Wars
weapon. A hot tear fell down their face.
Panamorphi had failed. Another failure in a long line
of failures. And worse, Panamorphy had single
(14:36):
handedly perpetrated Jack's needless death in the process.
The Hellawar slid soundlessly from one outcropping of cover to
another. Even with the weight of the
armor and weaponry, Panamorphy brace themselves and Jack for
what they knew would be their final stand.
Moving back a step, their heel slipped off a rounded Pebble,
sending them falling hard onto ametal Truss.
(14:58):
They opened their eyes to realize the Hellawar had gotten
several meters closer. Had they blacked out?
Panamorphy labored to lift theirweight back to standing, a
mewing sound escaping their throat.
I accept Morphe. I accept.
Their heart instantly filled with warmth as Jack spoke those
words. They smiled, finally connecting
(15:20):
them to their soulmate. Panamorphy gasped as they mewed
through gurgling lungs and a rawthroat, as Jack's physical
torment was now entirely theirs to experience.
The start of the bonding was bitter sweet, as this could
still be their final moments together.
The raindrops pouring through the roof into the factory, even
(15:42):
with a clearview of a dot of piercing stars between clouds
slowed and then hung in gravity defying suspension in the
pulsing and humming air, the drone spotlight reflecting off
them like glistening crystallinetears.
Panamorphy saw into every dark corner of the factory as if in
stark lavender sunlight. The blue LE DS of the Helliwar's
(16:05):
armor drifted lazily in the air like floating fluorescent brush
strokes of dissipating light. The hot titanium skin of the
cannon mounted to the Helliwar'sarmature shimmered and sizzled
as the rain splattered against it.
The Helliwar muttered as he squeezed the trigger.
A resounding boom echoed throughout the space, raindrops
(16:27):
vaporized or blasted outward as the force of the weapons
discharge transformed them into hardened projectiles, pelting
panamorphy like a hailstorm a moment before the Sonic blast
slammed into them. They had no leverage, the sound
wave lifting them off their feetand flinging them into a
concrete wall and into semi consciousness.
The pain of additional broken ribs Jarred them back to
(16:48):
consciousness as they slid down the wall.
They hit the uneven floor with anew cacophony of sharp agony in
their left ankle. While Jack had never felt so
much anguish, the Nieks before, Panamorphy had endured much
worse at the hands of other Hellawars.
It's time. Panamorphy told Jack as they
struggled to get back to their feet from the heap of industrial
debris and abandoned machinery, an aura of renewed energy
(17:11):
pulsing around their body. I know.
Thank you. Well, I hope you like that.
I've been having lots of fun putting it together, stretching
my creative wings a little bit because this is something I'm
not used to doing. While I do edit the podcast, I
really don't do any sort of audiobook work.
So I'm learning a bunch of different crafts, trying to put
(17:32):
it all together and using some of my existing knowledge that I
have with the podcast editing. While it's not a perfectly
finished product at the moment, I do hope it gives you the vibe
for what's to come in the series.
And with that, I'll say to you, love you and miss you all.
We'll be back to Joe and I together soon once we get our
(17:53):
schedules all in alignment again.
In the meantime, until next time, you can find me on
Facebook at Savannah Hawk or at Living with Cross Dressing and
on Instagram at Savannah Hawk. Remember, that's HAUK and to
learn more, go to my website livingwithcrossdressing.com.
(18:13):
And you can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Fox and Hanger
or at Julie MTF Style, as well as on our website at
foxandhanger.com. Julie.
It's your moment. The Fox and the Phoenix podcast
uses Spotify for creators. Copyright 2025.
(18:36):
Yes, nailed it.
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