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March 26, 2024 20 mins

Sometimes, the strength we need comes from the stories we hear; Sarah's is one such tale. Through her eyes, we witness the formidable choice to leave an abusive relationship with a partner enmeshed in narcotic addiction, and it's a stark reminder that our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses, but bridges to connect with others. Her incredible journey illuminates the podcast, providing hope and reinforcing that we are never truly alone in our battles, no matter how isolating they may feel. As someone who's engaged with mental health professionals for over two decades, I don't claim to be a therapist, but I do understand the profound impact of sharing and the collective healing it brings.

Laughter and learning go hand in hand as we recount a personal misstep that could have cost me a dear friendship. The power of words, the gravity of regret, and the salvation found in reconciliation shape our discussion, proving that the humor and honesty we share can mend even the deepest of rifts. So join us, lend your ear, and perhaps, find a piece of your story reflected in ours.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Fuzzy Mike, the interview series, the
podcast, whatever Kevin wants tocall it.
It's Fuzzy Mike.
Hello, and thank you forjoining me on another episode of
the Fuzzy Mike.
Last week's episode was adifferent kind of episode.
We didn't have a guest, and wetalked about a current event
that has happened recently in StLouis, Missouri the student

(00:24):
fight at Hazelwood East HighSchool, and I want to thank you
for listening to it.
I want to thank you fordownloading it, for watching the
YouTube version of it, and Iwant to thank you for your
comments about that, and I'mgoing to share a comment that
was received about anotherepisode that we recently did

(00:44):
with the Fuzzy Mike, and it'sgoing to lead us to what we're
going to discuss today.
I am still waiting for responsesfrom some of the guests that
I've reached out to about whenwe can reschedule, and as soon
as I hear back from them, Iexpect that we'll get some
experts on, Because somebodyasked me the other day you know
you talk about mental health,Klein.

(01:05):
Are you a therapist?
Are you licensed?
Are you a doctor?
No, I'm none of the above.
What I am, though, is somebodywho has spent since 1995, at
least every 16 weeks, sometimeseven shorter, going to

(01:25):
psychiatrists and psychologists.
So I do kind of feel like I'mmaybe an expert in the field
because I've been dealing withit for so long, and basically
what this is is I'll just sharepersonal stories of my own
dealings with my own mentalhealth issues, and then when
comments and emails come in andI get permission from the author

(01:47):
to share those with you, thenI'll do that as well, Like the
episode that we did a couple ofweeks ago with Akamia Deadwiler,
whose book is now availablecalled Daddy's Little Stranger.
Sarah actually reached out to meand talked about a trauma that
she had gone through, and Sarahhas given me permission to

(02:09):
actually read her letter to you.
And I do this because, numberone, it's so brave of Sarah to
share this with us, and alsoit's incredibly humbling to me
that something that happens onthe fuzzy mic resonates so much

(02:29):
with you and actually hits Sarahso deeply that she wanted to
share her story with me and withus.
And so I share this as a thankyou and a thank you to Sarah for
being so brave as to share itwith us.
And I also share it with youbecause when we think we're

(02:51):
going through something really,really hard.
We forget to think that there'sother people going through
things maybe just as hard oreven harder than what we're
going through right now.
And we talked about Brenda'sstory a couple of weeks ago and
how she was sexually assaultedat 18 and basically shunned by

(03:12):
the rest of her family afterthat happened.
And now she's 42 and stilldealing with the ramifications
and repercussions of that.
But she's getting better everyday and now she's a wife and a
mother, and this it just bringsto perspective what we're trying
to accomplish with this mentalhealth kind of focus that we

(03:37):
have right now with the fuzzymic.
And so when I read these wordsthat Sarah wrote us, I want you
to think about how, when you'regoing through something bad,
that there's somebody out therewho's going through something
equally as difficult or maybeeven more.
So this is a tough read righthere.

(03:57):
Sarah wrote me after the AcameaDeadweiler episode and she says
the moment I knew I had to leavea narcotic addicted husband
when he lit me with gas, I knewI had to go in four months I had
witnessed the love bombing andthought we'd fall in love, but
for some reason I've always hadconcerns that kept me back.

(04:19):
While I kept my own liferunning over time, I realized
that my concerns were not fornothing.
I found out that he hadconsumed excessive cocaine for
years, Although according to him, he stopped pretty much when he
was with me.
I didn't agree and then he toldme that I made him finish life.

(04:40):
He drank a lot at first, whichI didn't like because in the
past I went out with analcoholic, but then he seemed to
drink less.
He admitted to cheating hisex-wife several times.
That knocked me down and Ipulled him on it and I told him
how shocked I was.
He didn't seem to have muchempathy at all for his ex-wife.

(05:00):
He always chatted aboutex-friends, called them
psychopaths and, worse,Explained domestic problems and
struggles they had.
I had enough.
I made subtle blows to stop him.
So Sarah's no longer with thisguy and I think what happens and
what you can infer from this is, if you have somebody in your

(05:22):
life who doesn't have muchempathy for an ex or a friend,
an ex-friend who calls them thepsychopaths and worse, then
somebody who you need to examine, Examine this if you believe
them or if they're covering upfor what they actually are.

(05:46):
Because I read this and I'm likeand I wasn't in that situation
and I obviously know where thisstory is going because Sarah
shared it.
But even at the very beginningof this, when she talks about
how he lit her with gas and hewas love bombing that right
there, those are red flags, man,those are serious red flags.

(06:07):
And Sarah, number one, I am sohappy that you got out of that
situation and I'm so happy thatyou're living a better life now
and you're thriving, and I thankyou for sharing that horrific
story.
Anytime you share somethinglike that, you have to relive
that experience and I thank youfor sharing that and for

(06:30):
allowing me to share that withour listeners.
When I'm feeling a little bitdown, I'm going to remember you
in your words, Sarah, and I'mgoing to remember Brenda in her
words, and I'm not going toremember it because I'm going to
compare myself to the level of,I guess, torture that you had

(06:50):
to go through, but I'm going touse it to remind myself that
there's somebody out there who'sstruggling like I am and I'm
not alone.
And so maybe if I focus myenergy on the way that you're
feeling and not the way I'mfeeling, maybe that will change
my way of thinking and maybeI'll pull out of it a little bit

(07:10):
sooner, a little bit faster.
So thank you, Sarah.
I appreciate that I'm going toshare a little snippet of the
upcoming Tuttle and Clinepodcast that I'm a part of.
My former radio partner and Iare back together.
We spent 28 years on the radiotogether and I retired.
He's semi-retired and now we'reback together doing a podcast

(07:34):
with new episodes everyWednesday.
But we don't go in with ascript and we don't have
anything in particular plannedfor any episode.
And this one kind of went offin a weird direction.
We talked about things and howwe can't be offended.
Ok, we just will not allowwords to offend us.
And we were talking about thatand let us to talking about

(07:59):
things that maybe we've done inthe past, that we regret.
And I used this example of howI knew at this particular point
in our relationship which wasthis was very early that he
could not be offended.
No, you and I agree with this.
Nothing could ever be said tome that would offend me.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Nothing, nothing.
Okay, you can blast, you canblast me with honky cracker.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
You know, all that I laugh at that, but then again.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
And Eddie Murphy, remember when he did, hey, I'm
the white guy On Saturday Night,live his white guy stuff.
And you know the Wands Brotherswhen they did the white shit, I
don't care no it doesn't botherme.
I don't I know who I am.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
You know and here's the example that I was going to
use to perfectly illustrate thatyou can't offend Tim Okay, I
was so mad when you did not tellme that you were going to
Indiana for your dad's funeral.
He didn't tell me.
Okay, I had to find out from acoworker that you went up to
your dad's funeral.

(09:02):
I thought I should have heardthat from you.
Now, this is when we werereally new together and I was
like I was like I, I was hurt,Okay.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah, but Kev, it was like two in the morning, one in
the morning.
I get it, I get it.
I know, I know that, I knowthat.
And my mind is elsewhere.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
My dad just died dude , totally understood, totally
understood, and now I understandit.
Yeah, okay, but I thought youknow he doesn't like me and you
know he, he doesn't respect meand and I don't mean anything to
him, and so that was the chipthat I was wearing and when you
came back I did say I'm sorryand but my comment, and you got

(09:41):
to understand Tim's dad was hisfucking hero and and in my
comment, because I was stillbutt hurt, was you know, cancer
is just population control andhe did not punch me.
He did not punch me.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
No, no, yeah, yeah.
That's a bullshit thing to say.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
It was.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
But I I and this is how I think is I actually felt
sorry for you, that you had togo there and say that in order
to soothe whatever shit goes onin your head.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
I felt sorry for you.
I was like, wow, man, you,that's, that is you.
I mean, you just scraped thebottom, you took, you took that
pool skimmer and you wentstraight to the bottom where the
scum is there and I, I I feltbad for you.
I was like, man that, becausethat that's something that
probably down the road you'relike, oh, I shouldn't have said
that.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh I, I work.
That's probably.
I don't have a lot of regrets.
That's definitely one of thetop three.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, when you said.
When you said I'm glad your daddied, it's population control.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I didn't say I'm glad he died.
I did not say that.
I said okay, that's, that's howI have it in my head, yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
That's how the story goes on.
Here's what Kevin did.
He said he was so mad.
He said I'm glad your dad diedfrom cancer, and then he kicked
my dad's corpse, yeah.
And he said he said everysingle year on this date that he
died, I'm going to come to hisgrave and take a shit on it.
That's what Kevin said to me.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
It's not, but that's that, that that's the depth of
hurt that that probablyshould've or would've caused you
the only.
Yeah, I know, and that's whyI'm saying it, you can't offend
us, because if that didn'toffend him I don't think
anything can.
I've held onto that for geez,since 1996.
So I don't know how many yearsthat is I suck at math but I've

(11:30):
held onto that regret for thatlong and never shared that with
with Tim.
That I regret saying that.
And after we did that episodeand we recorded it, which,
incidentally, new episodes ofthe Tuttle and Client Show air
on Wednesdays, they, they, theypost on Wednesdays.
Just look up Tuttle and KleinK-L-I-N-E.

(11:50):
But after I told him that andhow much I regret that and
seeing his reaction, that youknow he turned it into a joke
and that that helped me copewith my regret, and it shouldn't
be about me, it should be aboutthe remorse that I feel, and it
is.
It's about the remorse that Ifeel for having said that to him
, but it also it feels better,you know, feels better that I

(12:17):
got that off my chest, that I'vebeen harboring that regret and
not sharing it with him and andnot letting him know that that
still bothers me to this daythat I said that to him and it
was because I had a massiveinsecurity that he didn't tell
me that he was going to hisdad's funeral.

(12:39):
I found out from somebody elseand automatically I started
thinking, well, shit, he doesn'tlike me, you know, he doesn't
think that, he doesn't thinkthat I deserve an explanation
from him and somebody reallythinks to me.
You know, that's insecurity,that was insecurity on my part
and then it led me to passive,aggressive comments like, well,
cancer is just populationcontrol and I don't know if I

(13:03):
realized at the time that thatwould hurt him or that it would
cut as deeply as it probably did.
But he didn't show it.
So I've been carrying that,like I said, regret for that
many years.
And being able to explain thatto him and being able to see his
reaction number one, justgetting it out of me, was a

(13:27):
massive release.
It was a relief.
I feel lighter.
I really do.
But also, you know, in lettingmy radio partner of 28 years, my
friend of 30 years, know that Iregret that and I'm apologizing
for that.
I don't even know if I did sayI'm sorry.

(13:49):
I guess that was inferred, Iguess that was implied that I
regret it.
So obviously I'm sorry about it.
But now, knowing that he knowshow I feel about that, it just,
I don't know.
It makes me lighter, it makesme I'm comfortable again, and

(14:12):
maybe that's a stupid word touse, but I thought about that
often and it was just weird howthat came up in conversation
during our episode.
But basically what I'm gettingat is, if there's something
weighing you down, if there'ssomething that is causing you a
heavy feeling and you can dosomething about it, do it, do it

(14:35):
.
You know, if there is somethingthat you said in the past that
you want to make amends for, doit.
You know, if somebody haswronged you in your life and
they're still in your life andyou just can't get over this.
I don't know if my tactful wayto bring it up you know, look, I

(14:59):
hate conflict.
I really do.
I will avoid conflict at allcosts, any kind of conflict, and
for me to bring that up withTim was I mean, we're in a way
better place now.
We're in a way different placethan what we were then, but even
so, that could have causedconflict, that could have caused

(15:20):
a discussion, that would havebeen uncomfortable and I would
have only had myself to you knowblame, I guess, for that.
But what I'm saying is, ifyou're going through a situation
where you might have saidsomething wrong in the past and
it's causing you discomfort, getit out in the open.
Get it out in the open.

(15:41):
I am here to tell you that Ifeel so much better now that Tim
and I are on the same page withthis, and that I've said what I
said and how it made me feel.
So you know, if you have thatopportunity, definitely take
that opportunity.
And if you're going throughsomething as tragic and as

(16:01):
horrific as what Sarah has gonethrough in the past and you're
in it right now, there's got tobe a friend that you can reach
out to.
There's got to be somebody inyour life that can lend an ear
or can give you an outsideperspective.
You know, when you're in thatyou might not be able to see it,

(16:22):
you might not be able to feelit.
You just you're in it andthat's what you think life is.
That's what you think it'sabout.
It's not.
That's not what life is about.
That's not love, absolutely notlove.
That is, as Sarah explains,psychopathic and worse, and it's

(16:42):
narcissistic and it's.
There's no room in your lifefor that.
There really shouldn't be.
And so if you're in the middleof a situation like that, help
is out there, and it might be inthe form of a family member, it
might be in the form of afriend assuming you're allowed
to still have contact withfamily members and friends

(17:03):
Sounds like Sarah was taken awayfrom that during this period
that she was with this husband.
And if they're trying to, ifsomebody's trying to put you in
a box and remove you from lovedones and friends, that is a big
sign.
Big sign that things are reallygoing to be a long and hard

(17:27):
road for you.
So just be aware and reach outto people.
That's what this thing is allabout.
That's what the fuzzy mic isall about.
It's about taking these fuzzythoughts, these mental issues
that we have or that we see inothers, and helping bring them

(17:47):
to light.
And who knows, maybe you'll besaving somebody's life.
Who knows, maybe you'll be haveyour life saved by somebody.
It all starts with conversation,it all starts with opening up,
and that's what this is abouthere at the Fuzzy Mic.
If you want to get in touchwith us at the Fuzzy Mic, you

(18:09):
can just email usthefuzzymicatgmailcom.
Or you can just follow us onYouTube, subscribe on YouTube or
follow us on all of theplatforms that we air you know,
apple, spotify, all that kind ofstuff and download the episode
and share the episode.
Maybe I'm saying something thatyou want to say to somebody but

(18:34):
you don't know how to say it.
Or you're afraid to say it.
Share an episode with them.
Say, hey, you know what.
I came across this podcast andthis dude's saying exactly what
I want to say, but I don't knowhow to say it.
Or maybe you think they'regoing to be upset or angry with
you for saying something.
Hey, this dude's saying it forme, so get pissed off at him.

(18:54):
Yeah, I'm just trying to helpyou.
Just get pissed off at him.
Anyway, thank you so much forjoining me again on the Fuzzy
Mic.
New episodes air every Tuesdayand don't forget the Tunnel and
Client show.
It airs every Wednesday onthose very same platforms and on
our YouTube channel.
The Fuzzy Mic is hosted andproduced by Kevin Klein.

(19:16):
Oh, by the way, do you like myTaylor's version heavy metal
shirt?
My wife liked this shirt.
She actually liked this shirt.
She typically doesn't like alot of my t-shirts because
they're mostly dealing withheavy metal and death metal, but
she liked this shirt, taylor'sversion with yeah.
Anyway, the Fuzzy Mic is hostedand produced by Kevin Klein,

(19:40):
production elements by ZachSheesh at the Radio Farm.
Social media director is mywife, trish Klein.
Thank you again for joining me.
Don't forget to subscribe andfollow and all that kind of
stuff, and if you want to dropus a line, you can do so at
thefuzzymicatgmailcom.
I appreciate you, thank you.
That's it for the Fuzzy Mic,thank you.
This is Fuzzy Mike with KevinKlein.
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