Gnar Couch Podcast 168: Amelia Capuano, Chuffed on Keen Song Debut, Why Aren't You Dirt Jumping?

Strap in, degenerates, because—holy shit—episode 168 of the Gnar Couch Podshow descends on your brain like a Raptor cranked to 11, meth in the tank, and some dude named Lars judging your court case from the witness stand while Kid Rock shotguns a Busch Light in the background. Have you ever mixed an unwashed pair of five-panels with Swedish thrash metal and a keen yearning to eat trail dust in Virgin, Utah, all while contemplating whether your bones have enough density to survive the next catastrophic OTB? No? Well, welcome to our support group.

This episode, we’ve got Amelia Capuano in the mix—slapping more send than your mom’s boyfriend does Dew out of your hands, and just as calculated about it. JP still can’t tell the difference between Voltron, Power Rangers, and probably his own reflection, while Cheef’s somewhere in a parking lot mourning his inability to clear a jump that only eight-year-olds and groms with fresh HU Bars can manage. Boston Rob’s over here leaning into his final-form Jewfluencer, generational trauma, and all, channeling his father-in-law while rocking those glasses down his nose like he’s one matzo short of a bar mitzvah.

Is this intro going anywhere? Nope. Are you? Not if you’re stuck in traffic, three accidents deep, hovering over your brake pedal, wondering if tonight is the night you finally call in to our show and forget the damn phone number again. We’ve got tales of dirt jumpers crumpling under childhood trauma, chocolate bars worth more than your last pay stub, and Jimmy Sniper explaining how to achieve pegatration at your local skatepark.

So unclench, quit saying “keen” unless you want us to actually start using “chuffed” unironically, and let’s get this parasocial fever dream rolling harder than Mark Cuban’s hairless head at a Shark Tank reject afterparty. Let’s go. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".