March 17, 2025 • 58 mins
What does it mean to fight through life’s heaviest moments? The Heavyweight crew dives deep into their personal struggles in a raw, unfiltered conversation about the burdens we all carry.
From blended family dynamics to grief, communication struggles, and internal battles, the hosts share vulnerable stories of pain, growth, and transformation. They explore the differences between mental and physical challenges, emphasizing how inner struggles require constant work.
"You gotta walk through the fire and pray for the lowest degree of burns on the other side." This episode is packed with powerful insights, real talk, and moments of humor that make tough conversations easier to digest.
Join us as we discuss accountability, self-awareness, and the power of facing life’s hardest moments head-on. 💪
Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Podcast.
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
so I think it's dope that we can have this
conversation.
He get up here he be like hey,y'all niggas, I'm the
anti-social host of shit and Ilike that what's good.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This is episode 190 of the heavyweight podcast.
I am your anti-social host andnever your favorite.
Stutter mcfly back again withthis lady and these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out
there.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Jean.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Just Jean, like with a G or a J.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'll leave that up to interpretation.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Oh, get out of here Like DNA Jean.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Just Jean Billie.
Jean Jean, you know I am Gene.
Okay, it's your boy, molito.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Why you looking at?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
me like that Disgusted.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's your girl, Des the Diva.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
How were your weeks?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Heavy, but it was good.
Good and heavy.
A lot going on, a lot ofuncertainty, but yeah, good,
I'll leave it there.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thanks, I hope you're doingbetter.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I said I'm good.
Okay, I had a great week that'swhat up.
I'm still riding the high.
My daughter at competition.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
She going to state.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
She's going to the ship.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
My baby going to the ship.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, oh, that's short for championship.
I thought they was doing acruise too.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I'm like they got a Disney cruise for this.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
We going to the ship Vegas?
No, it's actually.
It's in Pasadena this year.
Oh okay, I believe Nationalswill be in Vegas.
So if she does good when atState, then we gonna be in Vegas
okay, y'all going to Vegas thenturned up, turned up alright.
So I'm very, very proud of her.
I'm very, very proud of her.
I'm very, very happy.
Her face, her happiness and herglow made me glow so that was
(02:29):
lovely.
So you know I started off good.
I had one fucked up day at work, but I ain't gonna let that get
me down.
I had a good therapy session.
My therapist talked me throughit and, yeah, I've been doing
better man, lighter, healthier.
You know what I'm saying yeah,you look good, you know what I'm
saying.
Yeah, you look good, you knowwhat I'm saying.
My man foofa's gone, so my dickis longer.
Well, never knew.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
We didn't need to know, didn't even need to know.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Got a little more cushion.
I mean I got less cushion forthe cushion.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Who set that?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
you know, when I was over there and he was over here
it was a good week, man,everybody happy Getting to the
money there's your week.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You get to follow that.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It was cool.
There's your week.
It was cool.
How was school School's goinggood?
Yeah, it was good.
Thank you for asking.
I appreciate that you notgrounded this week.
How was school School's goinggood?
Yeah, it was good.
Thank you for asking.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah.
I appreciate that you notgrounded this week Am I grounded
.
Yeah, you still writing thatdiary.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
What?
What are you talking about?
This nigga is calling me, whilewe should.
My next question was likewhere's my all that and we and
(03:55):
we be so much and when we so intune that when you, when you got
to the diary part, I'm hearingI'm like hell, no I couldn't
think of the boyfriend name.
Oh God, Wait, what was his name?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
I couldn't think of his name.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Hakeem was the friend .
She had a bunch of boyfriends.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
She had Ohaji.
She was the hoe on the show inreal life.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
In five-year weeks sir.
In real life.
Yeah, I just said that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I just don't yeah don't mess with the Norwood,
let's just move on.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Some of they damn people live locally.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
He just kidding, let's just move on all the
thoughts of molith, or molithalone.
I am not.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
No they cool, they cool they all right, but for the
record, ain't nobody scared ofray jay I'm scared of ray jay.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I ain't scared of ray jay.
Hey, look here, anybody thatvince stank will call fine, I
ain't fucking listen, I ain'tlisten, I ain't scared of Ray J
Ever since the Ray J interviewon whatever station, was that
when he said I'm gonna have somehomies that like niggas to come
through?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Who was he beefing with Fabulous?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Fabulous was like who I'm gonna get the niggas that
like niggas to come through andI was like what did he just
threaten him?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Listen, he knows people I still ain't scared of.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ray J.
He said he's going to get thebooty warriors.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I'm going to be right there like Fabulous.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Who.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Moesha brother.
Yeah, Moe to the E, to the yeahnah.
Ain't nobody scared of Ray J?
And then you're going to hearokay, period what about your?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
week McFly it was a long week of trying to get
better.
I struggled to find my identity, so what my identity what did
you look for?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
what is it?
Titties his identity.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
I get it, I told I get it.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm tired of him.
Yeah, I thought Wiz was gonnabe screaming.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Wiz wait what you wanna say, don't make me laugh.
Are you telling jokes?
Huh, alright.
Wait what you want to say.
That made me laugh.
Are you telling jokes?
Huh, what?
All right.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So you struggled.
I struggled through the week,but I'm a little bit better now.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
That's what's up.
I had to laugh.
That's what's up.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I'm really warm right now, though Shut your ass.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
There's like a warmer heater right here.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
So let me show the people.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Don't do too much movement, that conductor just.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
My sparkify.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You know, they really haven't adapted to the fact
that I'm a trendsetter and afashionista, so they make jokes
and I'm super high fashion.
I don't know what the fuck wegoing on like I always say,
every trend let me, let me, letme, let me dress y'all.
I bet you we go viral hey,listen, I'm not I'm gonna just
keep on dressing like I'm 40.
You're right.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And I'm going to just trust you, I dress like I'm 40.
Listen.
I bought me some orange shoes.
You put those on us.
We are not going to look likewe're dressed.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I would never put these on you.
I put some man shit on you, butone thing about me is I'm going
to put that shit on and it'sgoing to look good every time.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So if you put something on one of us, would it
sparkle?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I'll put some grown man shit on it.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I don't want to learn star shit, I'll put some.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
We got some color roids back.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Shut up Mikla.
Oh shit, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I'm done, done, done, done.
All right, let's get into theshenanigans.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Shit, we ain't stopped.
Shenanigans, Right, right.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We are the definition .
If you let a nigga shenanigwest, they go shenanigan.
It's about to go down okay,okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Um, that's funny.
You guys know the deal.
You know the gist shit'scurated by things and such.
So fight nigga.
Can you share a personal storyor a life changing fight that
you faced and how did youovercome that shit?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
a physical altercation it could be physical
or mental um boy, do I havesome fight stories?
No, um, I think my biggestovercoming of well, hell, did I
overcome that out of it?
Speaker 4 (08:26):
let somebody else go first no, no, keep talking,
because you're healing whileyou're talking keep talking.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I like it.
It's all right, go ahead.
Keep talking.
One of you niggas.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Go first no, don't give her no, grace go ahead.
Don't give her no grace, lether talk let her keep going yeah
, she healing, come on uh, youtook, I gotta stop.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Come on, shut up, mcfly.
Come on Dad.
I'm finna, have to overcomethis fight.
I'm finna.
Get in with McFly he keep onfucking with me about these damn
shoes.
Okay, I think that I'm kind ofstill overcoming it, but I think
through therapy I've been ableto overcome a lot of the verbal
(09:05):
altercations.
I get in with my stepson andmama Okay, because although she
doesn't like, my feelings don'treally get hurt like that, but
she do strike my fucking nerveand so I'm overcoming even
reacting to that.
And so I'm overcoming evenreacting to that, because at
(09:35):
this point I realized thatsomething is triggered in her
and she's just trying to give methat same knee jerk reaction to
whatever's hurting her heals inher, so that she doesn't feel
the need to be verbally abusiveto really anybody else, because
she's like that to everybody,it's not just me, because it's
only good for her son to see herbe able to manage herself
better and it's only good forhim to see me manage myself
(09:58):
better.
It doesn't help that I'm givinginto it, because it gives him
the notion to think that that'show adults should behave and
it's not cool.
So that's that's, that's mystory.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Stop it.
We're proud of you.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I will say cause my, my, I had this, I had my.
My therapist said on anotherday she said in every situation
you got to ask yourself do youwant to be the puppet or the
puppet master?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That's good, not like that.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Kevin, your answer no , you go first.
So think about it.
I would say for me to answerthe question, hold your little
(11:06):
lip.
What I've overcome was thebattle I had with my to be used,
expected to be used, but Ican't let that moment define, uh
, um, define who I am.
So that's one thing.
I struggle with heavy Um.
If you know me, you know whathappened.
I'm not going to really getinto it, but that is something
(11:26):
that I recently probably themost thing recently I had to
overcome.
And then the other thing I wouldsay is the other thing I'm
overcoming is my behavior inregards to responding to when my
daughter upsets me, for whenshe's not living up to the
standard I have of her in myhead, it's me reminding myself
(11:48):
that, ok, this is her, this isher first time through life,
like it's my first time.
So I got given her grace and so, fighting, fighting the my
internal desire to be like no, Igot to correct this now and she
needs to understand this now,to understand it no, she's not
going to understand everythingthe first time it's said, and
that it really is about therepetition and providing her
(12:11):
with a soft place to land whenshe does feel like she's messed
up, so not coming at it at heras rough, so that's, that's, uh,
the battles, so all my battlesreally has been internal because
I, like I said before, I'm inthe wrong tax practice, throwing
hands.
I'm not, I'm not going to beproperty stricken.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I love the way y'all parent her and she don't see
everything.
Just the things that you doshare, just even the way your
mind works about it super dopeboy.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm telling you, the last couple of weeks she's been
testing Boy, she's been testingY'all pray for her.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Because you know it's bad when mama mad Shit.
I see your mama on the warpath.
I can't help you, uh-oh,because I'm trying to get
something later.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Oh Jesus.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
I can't intervene.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Kevin, I don't know.
I feel like grief is a thing Ideal with differently now, ever
since the loss of my dad, andlike how everything happened.
So it's like it don't get muchworse than that.
(13:23):
Somehow it feels like so it'slike things happen sometimes and
it's like I got to remember toallow feelings.
You know what I'm saying.
So give myself the time togrieve instead of just march on.
So I'm doing that a little more.
(13:45):
Unfortunately, I'm having agood practice at it right now,
but it's been good.
It's been good Instead oftrying to power through things,
letting it be.
You know what I mean.
Letting things out.
So that's been.
The biggest thing is to let goof stuff no, things ain't your
(14:08):
fault and allow yourself togrieve properly.
So I think that's been thebiggest fight I've had in the
last few years.
Like shit, 10 years almost now.
But it's not a good thing topractice because you have to go
through certain things.
But, I'm learning to not justsuck it up and go, because
(14:34):
that's Pause.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That's yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
The plight of the working man.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
McFly, you look like you have something deep to say
ah, I'll.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I've been trying to be.
You know I'll let you guys talkand then um chime in with any
low-hanging fruit that mighthave happened.
But what I'll say is thebiggest fight that I've had
growing up was the constant.
The constantly being writtenoff was the.
(15:21):
The biggest fight that I had Ihad to have overcome in my 39
years was there's always thatforce of someone trying to tell
me that I wasn't supposed to besomething or wasn't supposed to
exist or wasn't supposed to besuccessful, or, and always
overcoming that battle.
Um was my biggest fight, um todate and uh, I think it's a
(15:49):
constant uh revolving doorbecause it ends up becoming
something else or it comes fromsomewhere else, rather.
But uh, it's the constant fightthat I have and it's not like
an internal thing, but it'susually somebody's uh belief
factor trying to uh trying toapply it to me and then
(16:10):
eventually always having tofight against it and improve uh
that I am supposed to be whereI'm at.
So that would be the biggestfight mentally that I've had to
overcome.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Welcome.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
All right.
Mental versus physical.
How do you differentiatebetween mental and physical
challenges, and which do youfind more daunting?
How do you prepare for eachtype?
Speaker 4 (16:46):
The mental challenges are way harder, much harder
than the physical, because themental challenges require
repetition of work to kind oflike turn it into an automatic
response when things happen.
So like kind of what, like whatKevin was touching on.
What sucks about the mentalpart is that the event has to
(17:09):
keep occurring for you toprogress through it.
What the physical challenges,if you show like, let's say, you
want to lose weight, you wantto get stronger, that's just
showing up every day and puttingin work and you can get growth
by that, just by showing up whenin the mental part you have to
actively be thinking or activelybe in a situation to improve
whatever that challenge is yeah,mental is definitely by far
(17:36):
harder because body is mind overmatter.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
At that point shit, like you can be tired, but well,
I mean, I guess the body'sgonna go as far as the body's
gonna go, like the mind can gobeyond, but the mind also can
fight you, so it's like a battleof yourself so that's when you
just take them.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Herbalife pills.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But what's this?
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You don't know about Herbalife pills Shit.
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You should tell her the story about your Herbalife
experience.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I feel that way.
Right now that they got thempre-workout, I'm on shit.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh, you wired up.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Yeah, I could probably.
I'm moving house right nowThree hours Whole house it's
crazy.
Pack and ship.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
How do I handle mental?
I do a lot of.
I think.
I always say that like justself-reflection and trying to
figure out what the hell is.
The reason I feel a certain wayon why I'm not doing something
Like discipline is a mentalthing and that's yeah that's
tough, Like that's one of myhardest ones to accomplish,
(18:49):
Cause I don't know.
That's just that's and I'm.
That's what I'm trying to learn, how I accomplish that one more
practice.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Yeah, cause I can say like not to cut you off, but
not because I can say like notto cut you off, but not because
I can say like, for me with the,with the gym, at first it was
discipline of me forcing myselfto just walk in and do something
.
And then I added accountability.
I had friends help me with, youknow, body bobby, shout out,
body bobby, you know, help mewith with plans.
(19:20):
And now I'm tracking progress.
I'm I'm tracking weight, and sonow he's expected of me to see
what I've done that day, whatthe results is.
So now that gave me more drive.
Like shit, let me go do this.
So I got to hear God damn, pat,it's like, even when it's a
(19:40):
rest day, I'm like, fuck, Ishould go to the gym, like I, I
want it, I want it like, so ittook the repetition of like so
you, you take, you take.
It takes the discipline to turninto a habit, and I think what
people struggle with is goingthrough the process of getting
through the discipline to thehabit.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
But if you, you have to have it's, it's about will
and drive yeah, I mean miketyson did say that the best with
the discipline, but that's ahard fucking thing to do.
Yeah, it's to do the things youdon't like doing as if you love
them.
Yep, and I'm like god dog,that's you have to.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You have to get to the mindset of finding enjoyment
and uncomfortability whenyou're not uncomfortable like
you have to find that you haveto understand that if I'm
uncomfortable or if I'm goingthrough something, it's yeah, it
sucks here in the moment, butthe overall process means I'm
growing.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
So you have to like the overall process because you
know, and I think I find iteasier to do, get myself
disciplined for more physicalthings as opposed to doing
things that are more cerebral,if that makes it make I agree.
So it's like I can get myself upto like work out and shit, but
(20:57):
it's like, okay, now I gotta becreative or write something or
do this or like something that'snot just with my body, like I
gotta use my mind for this andfor some reason I I gotta find
that again and that's I gottafigure out how to take that from
the physical and put it on themental I 100 agree, because I
(21:17):
think about me trying to be moreintentional in my marriage and
in my role as a father.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
That's something I have to constantly think about.
So every interaction, I have tonot just respond.
I have to think, OK, what isthe intention by what I'm saying
and how do I want to beportrayed and what have I?
What promises have I made?
Yeah, Do I need to keep in thismoment?
So it's not just it's.
I can't at home, I can't justhave knee jerk reactions.
(21:44):
I have to process everything tolive up to, you know, the
thought process of beingintentional in my words and in
my actions.
So that part of being that it's, it is a lot.
I'm like I'm just going to takea goddamn nap.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's a lot, I'm like I'm just gonna take a
goddamn nap, that's a lot yeah,but I think it's good because
it's it's goal setting.
It sets goals in your, in yourlife and how to try to
accomplish things.
If you just do the nap thing orjust leave it alone, then
you're not gonna have any, yeah,but you're not gonna drive to
try it.
(22:20):
You know what I mean.
So yeah, I gotta just sit downand write fuck.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I agree with everything they said.
Mcfly, what you got to say,because they said it all, I mean
your turn, apologies it'salright, you did a great job.
No, oh say, what's the question?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
out loud.
You did a great job.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Nah, nah oh say what's the question out loud,
nah, nah yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I'm trying to figure out the best way to
differentiate just say it,because I don't think that was
kind of more of a preferring oneover the other.
I'm trying to see thedifferentiate part like how I
prefer the physical, oh yeahyeah.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I definitely prefer preferring one over the other.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I'm trying to see the differentiate part, like how I
prefer the physical.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Oh, yeah, yeah I definitely prefer the physical
over the mental For me.
Mentally maybe because I'm morecerebral for my brain I prefer
the mental part over thephysical.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
The mental challenges .
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, my brain challenges yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
My brain's always working.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So for me, mentally, it is the bigger challenge, but
it's not harder for me, like Iwould prefer to deal with the
mental challenge over thephysical one, because,
(23:49):
especially if you're if, likewhen you you speak of like your
home life, if I know for a fact,I can wake up each day and know
that yeah, I might not know theright answer, but that I can
figure out maybe the puzzle ofhow to get to a conclusion.
It seems like my brain kind ofgo off.
Thank God Now we can figure outthe puzzle, as opposed to like
my brain physically is like thephysical task of trying to hold
(24:12):
things together together Soundsmore draining to me, but that's
how my brain, brain processesshit.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Like I would much rather take it off mentally but
when you say the task of pullingthings together, it has a
mental aspect.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
But I'm talking about the task of like, when I think
about how draining it is to like, when we talk about going to
the gym, like, say, if I need tohit gym, then go to run the
errands and then do all like,that shit for me is draining,
just for the simple fact that Iunderstand what it takes to get,
oh, got you A, b, c, d, I'mlike fuck.
(24:51):
But like mentally if you sayyou know, today, if you just put
the equation together and getthis done and that done and that
done and like, ok, I can takecare of all this shit.
Get this done and that done andthat done and like, okay, I can
take care of all this shit byjust making sure this is taken
care of.
It's mentally for me.
It's like that sounds morerewarding for me and it makes me
be like I more prefer that overthe physical act of doing shit,
(25:13):
because I feel like I have todo a lot of physical shit from
from get-go anyway.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
So I kind of feel like what you're talking about
from the mental aspect isexhausting to me because in my
mind I set a schedule.
Yeah, Because I got 10 thingsto do and I got 18 hours to do
it.
So if something takes longerthan what I planned, I'm like,
well, fuck, something ain'tgetting done.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
I just know me mentally if I can get through 24
hours and I got the shit doneand that 24 hours flew by, I
feel like I accomplishedsomething, because in that 24
hours, because if it flies by,then I feel like, when it feels
like it takes forever, and I'msitting there, focused on the
fact that we're on hour six andI still got this much shit left.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, I'm good in chaos, though it's weird.
Yeah, like it gets to them likefuck and then I gotta do.
I'll do everything.
I had six hours to do in twohours and it's like I don't know
why I did that to myself.
That was dumb as fuck.
But so, yeah, I don't know.
That's yeah, that's thatinteresting.
That's a good question.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Alrighty Three Motivation and support.
What motivates you to take onthe significant challenges and
who provides support duringthese times?
How important is having support.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Myself, my kids, my wife.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
I'm going to let this take it, since she skipped the
last question.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I didn't skip the last question.
The guy said you did a greatjob in answering the question.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
I didn't even need to say nothing else because you
said it all but people want tohear your voice, so that's why I
asked the question they hear meall the time.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You said what's my motivation?
It depends on the circumstance.
Really to be honest with you,to keep calm and not act up.
Hayden is my motivation becausehe's going to be sad if I go to
jail for beating up his mama andhe's your support system, my
(27:22):
support system.
That also depends on what it is.
He's a kid so obviously I'm notgoing to let him support me
through that.
I just tell him to stay in thekid's place when it comes to
that.
But for my support system forthat, for that particular
situation, I'm going to say it'smyself and my therapist,
(27:43):
because nothing that my sistersor nothing that my friends is
telling me to do is conducivewith positive things maybe that
Dominique going to get her.
So the best thing is me and mytherapist are my biggest support
factors to that it's probablygood if everyone else is telling
(28:05):
you.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I did better, I caught myself leave me alone,
leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You are not about to harass me for this next hour see
, I caught myself leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Anybody else?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, I was saying my kids, wife, family, motivation,
myself, shit, wanting to seewhat things look like.
Support is.
I don't know how this sounds,so I'll just say it, but I feel
(28:45):
like anything I've ever setmyself to do, I've never
actually felt like I've hadanyone doubt me, so I feel like
I always have support.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
If you need that type of support, I will be your
doubter.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Just be like.
You can't do that, so I don'tknow it's trifling.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I've always felt like for a good call just sign up to
be a hater, yeah rightvolunteer bullshit, ass hater,
trifling if you need one if youneed a hater, I'm here for you
like trifling?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
so I don't know.
I just always feel like I havesupport from somewhere, like
within the confines of the groupof the people that I you're
circling.
Yeah that's what's up so quickand easy.
That's what she said.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Uh huh, uh huh ew my support system or my Cisco
dragon pants ah, does it releasethe dragon it released the
dragon pause.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I was like I don't know where this, that, what does
that mean?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
ew, oh shit this that ?
Speaker 3 (30:03):
What does that mean, ew?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh shit, Don't release a damn thing.
Sit next to me.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Ouch Because they spit fire.
Oh God Sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Y'all stressing me out, shut up.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Oh sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Y'all stressing me out, sorry, shut up.
Sorry, he hating on my damnshoes.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I'm not hating.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
You ain't on my shoes I'm not hating.
You got on Cisco pants?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yes, you ain't got no room to hate on and I'm going
to do the Care Bear, stare youain't got no room to hate on
nobody.
I'm going to do the Care BearStare.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I hate you guys.
You're just making me be mean.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I don't want to be mean.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I don't want to be mean you ain't got no room, I
ain't saying nothing, I'm justlaughing.
I know, you know so what?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
popped in my head was that kid son, you going to say
the Care Bear song.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I was thinking that at some point Cisco did have
hair like that.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Okay, it was blonde.
He never dyed it pink.
I never see that man with thedamn pink hair.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
He had the platinum once.
Oh, the platinum.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
What does that have to do with pink?
It's not pink.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
It wasn't pink, but it was platinum.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The dragon.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Okay, you answer the question.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Yeah, I'm going to answer it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, I got my to answer it, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, I
got my eye on you.
I'm going to let the nigga justgo ask another question.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I don't know if it's a.
I guess friends would be asupport system.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
For me.
You guys support me, you know,even though you know.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Ooh, that dress is scandalous.
I didn't know another niggacouldn't handle it.
Ooh, that dress is scandalous.
No one else can handle it.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I saw some niggas singing that and I was like, hey
, are you singing the thong song?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, you guys have supportedme, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Well, we believe in you.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Of course.
Yeah, I know course.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I feel warm.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I don't even know what's.
This episode got multiple ithas a lot oh god, I feel warm,
the furry dragon, this episodegot multiple.
It has a lot, oh God, I feelwarm.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Should it be the furry dragon you want me to
answer?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, go ahead.
Oh, you haven't answered.
Huh, no, I haven't answered.
Go ahead, you try to slide.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
My greatest motivation and support like you,
kevin, I'd say is my family, mymotivation.
My wife has been my greatestsupport.
I've said many times that thiswoman has been by me at my worst
, so she deserves everything Ihave at my best and I give her
that.
I also have great.
(32:53):
I get great support from mybrothers and sisters.
I can talk to them open andthey will.
They will listen, give solidadvice before they start talking
shit.
My brother is a Gemini, so whenhe turn up, it's turned up and
we do nigga shit.
Well, yeah, my family, myfamily, my friends you know the
(33:21):
people I consider friends.
You know I feel like I have agood circle of people I can
communicate with and thatsupport me.
Even like before today I wastalking, roy had called me, I
was talking, we was talking, wealways talk about money, stocks
and shit, and I reallyappreciate him for that because
(33:45):
he always you know, every timeit's like you know he get wind
of something hey, I don't knowif you can, but this is what I
hear is coming and a lot oftimes that shit pan out, and so
I appreciate that because he'ssupporting me in my retirement,
which also supports my family,so I like having that.
But I feel like I've had a lotof people support me, and some
(34:09):
people support me in ways Ididn't expect, so I've had a
good life.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Uber Eats, uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also
support.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also support they
be having too many weird assthings on the internet that
happen when they delivering foodlook here if I order food,
someone eat my fries, then wefighting.
They be eating fries, they besipping out the drink.
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I don't get drinks, but they can eat my fries.
That's cool.
Nah, I eat at Taco Bell.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
They lick the shells you all right, mcfly, mm-hmm,
you pondering, mm-hmm, youpondering, mm-mm.
Okay, it's hot, you going toanswer.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
I did answer.
I said my friends support me.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
And I'm warm.
You should be.
You got a whole dragon on yourthigh.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I'm just waiting To hit the match you should be With
a whole dragon.
On your thigh Strike the match.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Just Drag on.
Yeah, that's hilarious actually.
The flame, flame onMotherfucker.
Oh shit, I gotta stop.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Oh man, we gotta ask the next question are we gonna
be here for a while?
Speaker 3 (35:22):
alright, alright, alright.
Growth and transformation howdo you um?
How have these fights changedyou?
What personal growth andtransformation have you
experienced as a result?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I'm a lot calmer shit yeah, damn y'all ain't even
seen me act up you must havebeen turnt up back then cause,
if this is calm, it is.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Y'all ain't even seen me act up.
Did you just walk around withthe other person?
Y'all ain't even seen me act up.
Y'all seen a minute reactionout of me.
You've not seen me act up.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I am a lot.
He was Tupac for real.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Listen, bug fucking life.
But I am.
I am a lot calmer now, but calmdown, You'll be a thug, the
mantra Listen and that was agood album.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's that, but he he didn't read.
That's jail.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Sorry, sorry, but that's dope, that's good.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Yeah, I agree I feel the same with you.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I'm happy you're healing a little bit, I mean,
I'm a little bit, I mean, andwhen she shoots that it's a lot
more calm too.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's tame, it's like hey, listen, I'll give her some
notes boom, you've been shot.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Thank you, I don't know what gun go boom, shooting
Boom, you've been shot, thankyou, I don't know what gun go
boom, I would say.
For me, the answer is I'm ableto look more internal as to why
(37:00):
I'm reacting or feeling acertain way and I'm I'm able to
take accountability for my rolein what's happening, because
even if you're not the cause orit wasn't your intention, you
still you play a role in everysituation.
It could be a good role or badrole.
So I think I've, I've journeyedto the point to where I now I
(37:22):
can now look at myself and seewhat roles and what I've done to
dictate the experiences I'vehad, and it's given me better
insight to avoid certain thingsbe a lot of things that taught
me a lot more gratefulness likeI'm a lot more grateful in life
(37:51):
with things I've gottenaccomplished.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I'm learning to stop and like appreciate that instead
of looking forward all the time, and like that's where I think
I fuck up sometimes, just tryingto just always get to the next
thing like all right, there'ssomething more, instead of just
well, what about this, enjoythis, you know what I mean.
(38:13):
So that, and then more gracewith people, letting them feel
how they feel and you know, yeah, uh, not react in a way, that's
just how I think things areright or things should be or
whatever.
It's like you got to thinkabout how they feel or why
they're doing the things orsaying the things.
(38:33):
They say.
So a lot more.
What's the entry?
The opposite of introspective,outro, outward, when you're
looking outward towards people.
So I think all my fights havetaught me things like that.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
It's not about me.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Let either man hear you say he's thinking he's
cooking up something good he'scooking it it's very surface
level, okay, uh For me.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
I think that the fight for me the best way I say
it.
I feel like I haven't felttransitioning-wise, I don't feel
like I've had my biggest fightyet, but I do feel like the
(39:44):
world kind of been giving gracefrom what I should be doing as
far as the hell I should begiving.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
The hell you should be giving or giving.
Giving Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Like I should.
Like I don't lash out like Ishould be lashing out.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Gotcha, could that be a byproduct of your own
internal peace, your owninternal self worth?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yeah, but at the same token it's sometimes I feel
like internal peace.
In order to have the true peacethat I want, I have to raise
hell at some point Like truehell, you definitely got to
stand up for yourself.
So I don't feel like that'shappened yet, but when it
happens.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Can I ask you why?
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Mainly for other people's benefit, as far as not
wanting to destroy certain, Iguess peace for other people for
that moment.
But when I start getting tothat point where I say fuck
other people's peace.
Speaker 4 (40:50):
It's going to be dangerous, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But I'm there, I'm very, very close to that.
But that growth is just fromunderstanding that.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
Can you just give me a heads up so I can put my vest
on?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Put your vest on.
It ain't like I'm going to ashooting spree at work or some
shit.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
What do you think's holding you if you're close?
What do you think's holding youif you don't mind me asking?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
yeah, I just feel like it's certain people's piece
that that.
But there will be a byproductof me deciding to fucking crash
out that they're going to end upcatching more of the hell just
off of a yeah, sorry, I'mlooking at the screen by
association just because they'rethey're near me.
It's gonna be like oh shit likewhy am I?
(41:43):
Catching the heat too, likethat kind of shit but um.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
So now here's a question if you're close, what
makes what's gonna do?
You think there's gonna be atrigger to it, or do you think
you're just going to say fuck it?
I'm sure I'm just like fuck it,okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
So, basically, you're just waiting for the one thing
to make you completely crash out.
Yeah, and we're not talkingabout Doja Cat crash out.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
No no.
Speaker 4 (42:16):
I'm like, hey, man, what's going on?
If you show up one day and youdidn't cut your braids off, I'm
like, are you alright?
Because if I see you with akitchen cut?
I'm like, yeah, you get it.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Nah, I'm not.
I'm not going to hurt myself inthat process, Damn this nigga
said kitchen cut.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Yeah, that would be hey kitchen, kitchen cut yeah,
yeah, that would be hey we gottatalk.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, hey, I'm here for you.
So everyone's answered yeah.
Overcoming fear how do youovercome fear or doubt when
facing a significant challenge?
What strategies help you stayfocused and motivated?
Speaker 4 (42:50):
I think the only way to overcome fear is to embrace
it.
Yeah, that's, I mean that'sthat's it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's.
The only answer I could fear isto embrace it.
Yeah, that's.
I mean.
That's, that's it.
That's the only answer.
I could think I was like I meanthere ain't shit you could do
about it either.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Like you gotta.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
you gotta face the head on or be scared, you gotta
walk through the fire and prayfor the lowest degree of burns
On the other side.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
That's a good way to put that.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying Everybody just
answered it unanimously.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
It's one of those things where all you can do is
meet it with force.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Meet force with force or just those are the two
things you do, either face it ornot.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yeah, you're either going to go with it or you're
going to be scared.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
But if you don't face it, you're still facing it in
another way.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's what.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
I mean, you're just going to go away from it Touche.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
That's true.
Is that facing it or is thatjust going away from it?
Speaker 4 (43:43):
But if it's the fear of what an outcome will be, or
it's a fear because you justdon't want to do a certain thing
, but you know that if you don'tdo it it's going to be have a
negative response or a negativereaction, and the only reason
why you're not doing it isbecause you're weary of what's
on the other side you're goingto always think of.
(44:03):
You're going to have thosethoughts of what if or what
could have been.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
I don't believe that, because niggas don't like
heights and they're like I topof a building.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
That girl had fear when they were running that
relay race and she hit.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
She didn't know that was coming.
She whooped that nigga yeah shehit her on purpose, she hit her
on purpose.
Oh, did you hear her Her thing?
She said it was an accident.
She said it was an accident.
Yeah, she said it was anaccident, fuck her.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
But looking at her parents, you can kind the damn
girl, oh yeah yeah, she was mad.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
The old girl was leaving her, was fucking her up,
she was gone, yeah she waspassing and she just got charged
too.
She should, yeah, she shoulddefinitely for assault yeah,
battery I guess it would be.
Yeah, she said it was anaccident.
I hope people don't think thatI would do something like this
as we're watching you go yeah,she was like I know what it
sounds crazy, but like I waslike my hand went back and I'm
like you could look at her daddyand tell he constructed the
damn story.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
Yeah, I would just say I thought fear is just an
emotion like any other emotion.
You just have to learn how toprocess it correctly because you
get to the underlining reasonwhy the fear is there.
You get to the underliningreason why the fear is there.
Are you really fearful ofwhat's in front of you or are
(45:20):
you fearful of the outcome?
Speaker 1 (45:21):
of what's in front of you.
If you go through it, I feellike it's good to be afraid of
some shit yeah, it's cool and,like I said, like there's
certain things I wouldn't expectyou.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
I'm not gonna walk into a lion's den well, yeah,
that's just that's, that'shealthy fear, yeah because it's
like, but I've seen videos ofpeople living with them and
petting them yeah and I'm like,but that's one of those things
I'm hungry, it's not gonnaregret it won't be a regret or I
don't feel like I missed outI'm saying the.
(45:50):
I know what you're saying.
The regret part comes to moreof, like, the internal things,
not not the.
I mean the physical fear of,like hurting yourself.
Yeah, don't do that.
But I'm talking about when it's, when it's something that you
have to work on, uh, for yourand your internal peace or your
internal um frame of mind, likethat fear is that's, that's
what's going to come back tohaunt you, haunt you if things
(46:12):
still don't work out in yourfavor.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
You know what fear I had Shout out to Scrappy G.
That's when he was referring toold school, and then somehow it
transitioned to me and I saidhow the fuck did we get there?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
That's funny, did you ?
Speaker 4 (46:32):
not know.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
I'm old school, I guess I fuck it did, it did
slide in.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
When did you time?
Speaker 1 (46:39):
out, time out.
When did you start rapping?
Speaker 4 (46:43):
come on, it was 20 years ago.
Come on, now remember before.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
What do we call old school?
Speaker 3 (46:49):
yeah, I agree.
I just when he said it I waslike damn, why do you have to
transition to me?
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I mean, because it was 20 years ago, the gentleman
was six.
He was three.
Oh yeah, he's 23.
He's 23.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
He was a baby, Sorry.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Stena, I didn't realize that You're like I did,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Damn yeah.
I'm going to have to watch thetape, but In his eyes you and
Snoop are leveled, so that worksout.
No, all right.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
You know how long Snoop been rapping.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Shout out to Scrappy Hell.
We was three minutes.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Snoop a grandpa, we're going to shoot past what
Scrappy G was.
When Snoop started rapping Ithought, yeah, a prayer, because
I wasn't even was when Snoopstarted rapping.
I thought yeah, yeah, a prayeryeah, because I wasn't even.
Yeah, snoop.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
Yeah, he was still attached to his mama.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yeah, he was for sure .
It hadn't dropped Not born yet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Snoop shut, but anyway, I just yeah that fear.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, I can dig that Old.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I can dig that I'm old, I can dig that old is a
mindset, it's not it definitely.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Is that to my knees?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
it definitely is my knee hurt right now?
It definitely is a mindset hey,knees, stop hurting.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
My mind says it's not , don't be there, yeah you.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
You can command your do not give me start.
You can command your body tonot be in pain.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
No, that's true.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
But you're still getting older, no matter what.
But I just don't think that ageand time exist.
I really do think it's amindset.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
That's a different conversation Don't fall and
break your hip.
So I'm working the same dayEvery day.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Don't.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
Don't go in there.
Don't do it.
Okay, the rabbit hole?
No, don't go in, don't go inthere, don't go, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Okay, the rabbit hole gets deep.
I can go further.
We'll be here all day, just.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
All right, I would have said fuck you too, but the
list was full.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Impact on life.
How have these experiencesimpacted other areas of your
life, such as relationships orcareer?
Speaker 2 (49:02):
I don't want to date nobody else with no damn kids
say it again I don't want to bewith nobody else with no kids.
Now, at my age I know it'slikely that I'll end up being
with somebody with kids, butthey got to have their baby
mamas in control, and by incontrol I mean whatever positive
deceased.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
You want a good co-parenting situation here we
get yes, no a very goodco-parenting situation please,
because what if that kid hasgrown you ain't gotta deal with
it, love it.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Who got a grandpa?
Love it, love it.
Okay, because I grandpa takingthat cialis.
Listen, I, I, I'm certified topass meds, nigga, what are you
trying to do?
Um, I just yeah, no, I, I can'twith anybody else that has
children that they don't have agood, positive relationship with
(49:55):
the mom.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
That's too much.
Yeah, makes a lot of sense.
Shit, that's your piece.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Yeah, oh God, kevin Excuse me sorry, my bad.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
I apologize, I shouldn't have done that right
in the mic.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Right into the mic.
No, it's cool.
No, it's cool, I mean he's, youknow, hard burn.
I took some Pepsi, but you oldas hell.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I took some Pepsi.
Yeah, I'm on Pepsi.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
It's a mindset.
Ask the fucking question.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
I feel like other areas I find myself having to
like remember to feel badsometimes and you can't be that
high.
No, not for myself, like forother people and stuff, like
when things happen sometimes andI'm like, depending on what it
(50:59):
is, sometimes I'm like, but Ithink a lot of this shit that
I've dealt with made me a lotmore callous to certain things,
which I shouldn't be, because Iused to not be like that.
And then it's like man thatain't shit Shut up, and I'm
trying to not, and then it'slike man, that ain't shit Shut
up, and I'm trying to not.
So I think that's the most thatis affecting me is a little
(51:19):
more calloused, but I don't know, maybe that's not that bad, I'm
not sure.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
I'm still not sure about that.
When I think about myexperience, the one thing that
comes to mind is communication.
I've learned that I need to beable to communicate my thoughts
and my feelings in the moment sothat it doesn't linger into
something or I assume somethingor they assume something because
I'm not being up front with myviews, opinions and my feelings
(51:52):
in that moment, especiallyregarding, like, my marriage.
Right, I can't hold heraccountable for things if she
has no knowledge of what'spissing me off.
I can't just say you know,because a lot of times you know
shit happens.
You'd be like you'd be madabout it, but you just keep
going on because shit got to bedone.
(52:19):
So what I've learned especiallyrecently is just to voice the
problem when it's a problem,because for me personally it
always tends to be a biggerproblem the second time around.
But now I didn't say nothingthe first time.
Now the second time it's hereand now.
But now I got smoke from bothtimes.
I'm sorry, I got smoke fromboth times that I'm expressing
and I've learned that that wasnot good.
So with me I understand thatit's just communicating, and I
(52:43):
mean not just in my marriage,it's like even with my daughter,
even in my friendships, evenhere on the podcast.
It's just communicating what myfeelings are and my intentions,
communicating what my feelingsare and my intentions, and then
not only communicating but thensetting the boundaries so that
(53:04):
you don't have less, so that youdon't have the moments where
you get upset or you feel likeyou're overwhelmed or you feel
like you know you're being takenadvantage of or shit like that.
So you set the boundaries andthen you live in the confines of
your boundaries so that way youalways feel secure in what
you're doing.
But those boundaries and thosefeelings need to be out front on
the table so everyone knowswhat they are, everybody
understands what your positionis, and so then it's not like
(53:25):
they're getting hit with a blindside.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
That's a super rare opinion, but I actually I like
super rare opinion but Iactually like that about you,
that's not rare.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
You do that often Very good.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I'm not going to say it.
It's nice he's putting this onmy nerves, oh God.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Jesus, he does.
I swear on Baby Jesus slippers.
I can't say you sometimes, didyou say?
Speaker 4 (53:49):
on Baby Jesus slippers, and that's going to be
the name of the goddamn episode.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Well, I do.
I like that about you.
I think you do a great jobcommunicating and you allow
people to come and communicateto you.
I like that For real On babyJesus slippers.
At least I didn't give Jesus amiddle name this time.
Listen, because he been JesusHezekiah that nigga was barefoot
when he was.
Listen Because he beat JesusHezekiah that nigga was barefoot
when he was.
Listen, my Jesus had slipperson.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
He had them, jerusalems Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
My Jesus had slippers .
Speaker 4 (54:28):
But, and he dropped 40 of those.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
No, not these particular ones, but similar.
Now, if those was Jesus, I waslike hey, you better, was it
those Yep?
No, not these particular ones,but similar.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Now, if those was Jesus, I was like, hey, you
better put those in the music.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Not these particular ones, but similar.
My Jesus had slippers.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
You know, going back to what you were saying, I think
it's funny because I tell, likeAmanda, that sometimes, like
when she's like mad aboutsomething or something with work
or friends or something,anything, well I'm like, but did
you tell them that?
Because if you didn't tell themthat they don't know, you can't
be mad at them for that rightand like I think a lot of people
(55:07):
don't want to have thatuncomfortable ass conversation.
Where he's like I, I tellmyself that.
Speaker 4 (55:12):
Where I'm like I don't do this shit, but how I
can't just be mad because in myexperience or but my experience
is that when you have theconversation it's not easy to
have a conversation where youknow that it's only gonna go one
or two ways.
Either they're gonna takeoffense or they're gonna say
something in return, and you andnow you have a different view
(55:35):
like fuck, I'm the one that'swrong.
So now, like you have to belike, being able to communicate
effectively is being able totake accountability in the
moment.
Yeah, absolutely if I come toyou and say, hey, like, fuck it.
I say, hey, I didn't like this,this and this, and they go.
Well, you said, well, fuck,alright, alright, my bad, you
know what I mean.
Like you have to be able thatgrace has to be extended both
(55:57):
ways.
You have to be able and willingto take accountability when
your anger or your whatever yourexperience is misplaced.
Yeah, and a lot of people don'tdo that shit well, I may hire
you to be my therapist.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
We might.
Speaker 4 (56:09):
Counselor no the session's gonna be free.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
I may hire married.
Speaker 3 (56:15):
You be knowing what you be talking about mcfly I
just know in certain aspects ofmy life, I do know that, like
you said, when I have boundaries, that I know for a fact that
the people that do know myboundaries know that there's
certain lines not to cross withme.
Therefore, that peace is isalways intact.
But again I say, when thatother fucking shoe drops and I
(56:41):
lash the fuck out, can I?
Speaker 4 (56:47):
say a PSA on top of that, when he drops the other
shoe, can you not call me to askme what's wrong with him?
If you can't communicate withhim, you're the problem.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
I can't communicate with him.
Speaker 4 (56:58):
You're the problem.
I can't.
I.
I stopped doing that shit along time ago.
People used to always try touse me as a middleman.
What's going on?
And they call them.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
It feels like there's a storm coming hey if it is,
hey nigga if it is.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
I got my raincoat oh my god, I have a whole rain
outfit shoes oh my lord, she gotoutfit shoes matching coat.
Speaker 4 (57:14):
She got way too excited, way too Way too.
Speaker 2 (57:18):
At least you know if you get the trip.
I'm going to be stylish whileyou're doing it.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
You know, I always I tell them the trip, I say, nigga
, just let me know so I can.
I'll make sure I'll let you goto the line when I say, hey,
nigga, your job, calm down, yeah, Like I was with you here no,
no like I was like think about,think about them kids, think
about them size 17 of our knee,stop right there, that's.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
That's a tall baby with that being said, this has
been episode 190 of theheavyweight podcast uh, again,
we appreciate you like,subscribe, share and comment all
that shit.
Uh, till next time.
Speaker 2 (57:57):
We're not that old I'm not old at all, I'm the baby
that's a wrap, y'all.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
That's.
That's how she wrote, so makesure you click like subscribe.
Tune in we on austrian platform.
So until next time we'll haveto ask you.
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
so I think it's dope that we can have this
conversation.
He get up here he be like hey,y'all niggas, I'm the
anti-social host of shit and Ilike that what's good.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This is episode 190 of the heavyweight podcast.
I am your anti-social host andnever your favorite.
Stutter mcfly back again withthis lady and these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out
there.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Jean.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Just Jean, like with a G or a J.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'll leave that up to interpretation.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Oh, get out of here Like DNA Jean.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Just Jean Billie.
Jean Jean, you know I am Gene.
Okay, it's your boy, molito.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Why you looking at?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
me like that Disgusted.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's your girl, Des the Diva.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
How were your weeks?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Heavy, but it was good.
Good and heavy.
A lot going on, a lot ofuncertainty, but yeah, good,
I'll leave it there.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thanks, I hope you're doingbetter.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I said I'm good.
Okay, I had a great week that'swhat up.
I'm still riding the high.
My daughter at competition.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
She going to state.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
She's going to the ship.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
My baby going to the ship.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, oh, that's short for championship.
I thought they was doing acruise too.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I'm like they got a Disney cruise for this.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
We going to the ship Vegas?
No, it's actually.
It's in Pasadena this year.
Oh okay, I believe Nationalswill be in Vegas.
So if she does good when atState, then we gonna be in Vegas
okay, y'all going to Vegas thenturned up, turned up alright.
So I'm very, very proud of her.
I'm very, very proud of her.
I'm very, very happy.
Her face, her happiness and herglow made me glow so that was
(02:29):
lovely.
So you know I started off good.
I had one fucked up day at work, but I ain't gonna let that get
me down.
I had a good therapy session.
My therapist talked me throughit and, yeah, I've been doing
better man, lighter, healthier.
You know what I'm saying yeah,you look good, you know what I'm
saying.
Yeah, you look good, you knowwhat I'm saying.
My man foofa's gone, so my dickis longer.
Well, never knew.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
We didn't need to know, didn't even need to know.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Got a little more cushion.
I mean I got less cushion forthe cushion.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Who set that?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
you know, when I was over there and he was over here
it was a good week, man,everybody happy Getting to the
money there's your week.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You get to follow that.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It was cool.
There's your week.
It was cool.
How was school School's goinggood?
Yeah, it was good.
Thank you for asking.
I appreciate that you notgrounded this week.
How was school School's goinggood?
Yeah, it was good.
Thank you for asking.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah.
I appreciate that you notgrounded this week Am I grounded
.
Yeah, you still writing thatdiary.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
What?
What are you talking about?
This nigga is calling me, whilewe should.
My next question was likewhere's my all that and we and
(03:55):
we be so much and when we so intune that when you, when you got
to the diary part, I'm hearingI'm like hell, no I couldn't
think of the boyfriend name.
Oh God, Wait, what was his name?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
I couldn't think of his name.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Hakeem was the friend .
She had a bunch of boyfriends.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
She had Ohaji.
She was the hoe on the show inreal life.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
In five-year weeks sir.
In real life.
Yeah, I just said that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I just don't yeah don't mess with the Norwood,
let's just move on.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Some of they damn people live locally.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
He just kidding, let's just move on all the
thoughts of molith, or molithalone.
I am not.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
No they cool, they cool they all right, but for the
record, ain't nobody scared ofray jay I'm scared of ray jay.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I ain't scared of ray jay.
Hey, look here, anybody thatvince stank will call fine, I
ain't fucking listen, I ain'tlisten, I ain't scared of Ray J
Ever since the Ray J interviewon whatever station, was that
when he said I'm gonna have somehomies that like niggas to come
through?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Who was he beefing with Fabulous?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Fabulous was like who I'm gonna get the niggas that
like niggas to come through andI was like what did he just
threaten him?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Listen, he knows people I still ain't scared of.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ray J.
He said he's going to get thebooty warriors.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I'm going to be right there like Fabulous.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Who.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Moesha brother.
Yeah, Moe to the E, to the yeahnah.
Ain't nobody scared of Ray J?
And then you're going to hearokay, period what about your?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
week McFly it was a long week of trying to get
better.
I struggled to find my identity, so what my identity what did
you look for?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
what is it?
Titties his identity.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
I get it, I told I get it.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm tired of him.
Yeah, I thought Wiz was gonnabe screaming.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Wiz wait what you wanna say, don't make me laugh.
Are you telling jokes?
Huh, alright.
Wait what you want to say.
That made me laugh.
Are you telling jokes?
Huh, what?
All right.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So you struggled.
I struggled through the week,but I'm a little bit better now.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
That's what's up.
I had to laugh.
That's what's up.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I'm really warm right now, though Shut your ass.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
There's like a warmer heater right here.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
So let me show the people.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Don't do too much movement, that conductor just.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
My sparkify.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You know, they really haven't adapted to the fact
that I'm a trendsetter and afashionista, so they make jokes
and I'm super high fashion.
I don't know what the fuck wegoing on like I always say,
every trend let me, let me, letme, let me dress y'all.
I bet you we go viral hey,listen, I'm not I'm gonna just
keep on dressing like I'm 40.
You're right.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And I'm going to just trust you, I dress like I'm 40.
Listen.
I bought me some orange shoes.
You put those on us.
We are not going to look likewe're dressed.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I would never put these on you.
I put some man shit on you, butone thing about me is I'm going
to put that shit on and it'sgoing to look good every time.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So if you put something on one of us, would it
sparkle?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I'll put some grown man shit on it.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I don't want to learn star shit, I'll put some.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
We got some color roids back.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Shut up Mikla.
Oh shit, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I'm done, done, done, done.
All right, let's get into theshenanigans.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Shit, we ain't stopped.
Shenanigans, Right, right.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We are the definition .
If you let a nigga shenanigwest, they go shenanigan.
It's about to go down okay,okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Um, that's funny.
You guys know the deal.
You know the gist shit'scurated by things and such.
So fight nigga.
Can you share a personal storyor a life changing fight that
you faced and how did youovercome that shit?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
a physical altercation it could be physical
or mental um boy, do I havesome fight stories?
No, um, I think my biggestovercoming of well, hell, did I
overcome that out of it?
Speaker 4 (08:26):
let somebody else go first no, no, keep talking,
because you're healing whileyou're talking keep talking.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I like it.
It's all right, go ahead.
Keep talking.
One of you niggas.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Go first no, don't give her no, grace go ahead.
Don't give her no grace, lether talk let her keep going yeah
, she healing, come on uh, youtook, I gotta stop.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Come on, shut up, mcfly.
Come on Dad.
I'm finna, have to overcomethis fight.
I'm finna.
Get in with McFly he keep onfucking with me about these damn
shoes.
Okay, I think that I'm kind ofstill overcoming it, but I think
through therapy I've been ableto overcome a lot of the verbal
(09:05):
altercations.
I get in with my stepson andmama Okay, because although she
doesn't like, my feelings don'treally get hurt like that, but
she do strike my fucking nerveand so I'm overcoming even
reacting to that.
And so I'm overcoming evenreacting to that, because at
(09:35):
this point I realized thatsomething is triggered in her
and she's just trying to give methat same knee jerk reaction to
whatever's hurting her heals inher, so that she doesn't feel
the need to be verbally abusiveto really anybody else, because
she's like that to everybody,it's not just me, because it's
only good for her son to see herbe able to manage herself
better and it's only good forhim to see me manage myself
(09:58):
better.
It doesn't help that I'm givinginto it, because it gives him
the notion to think that that'show adults should behave and
it's not cool.
So that's that's, that's mystory.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Stop it.
We're proud of you.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I will say cause my, my, I had this, I had my.
My therapist said on anotherday she said in every situation
you got to ask yourself do youwant to be the puppet or the
puppet master?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That's good, not like that.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Kevin, your answer no , you go first.
So think about it.
I would say for me to answerthe question, hold your little
(11:06):
lip.
What I've overcome was thebattle I had with my to be used,
expected to be used, but Ican't let that moment define, uh
, um, define who I am.
So that's one thing.
I struggle with heavy Um.
If you know me, you know whathappened.
I'm not going to really getinto it, but that is something
(11:26):
that I recently probably themost thing recently I had to
overcome.
And then the other thing I wouldsay is the other thing I'm
overcoming is my behavior inregards to responding to when my
daughter upsets me, for whenshe's not living up to the
standard I have of her in myhead, it's me reminding myself
(11:48):
that, ok, this is her, this isher first time through life,
like it's my first time.
So I got given her grace and so, fighting, fighting the my
internal desire to be like no, Igot to correct this now and she
needs to understand this now,to understand it no, she's not
going to understand everythingthe first time it's said, and
that it really is about therepetition and providing her
(12:11):
with a soft place to land whenshe does feel like she's messed
up, so not coming at it at heras rough, so that's, that's, uh,
the battles, so all my battlesreally has been internal because
I, like I said before, I'm inthe wrong tax practice, throwing
hands.
I'm not, I'm not going to beproperty stricken.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I love the way y'all parent her and she don't see
everything.
Just the things that you doshare, just even the way your
mind works about it super dopeboy.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm telling you, the last couple of weeks she's been
testing Boy, she's been testingY'all pray for her.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Because you know it's bad when mama mad Shit.
I see your mama on the warpath.
I can't help you, uh-oh,because I'm trying to get
something later.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Oh Jesus.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
I can't intervene.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Kevin, I don't know.
I feel like grief is a thing Ideal with differently now, ever
since the loss of my dad, andlike how everything happened.
So it's like it don't get muchworse than that.
(13:23):
Somehow it feels like so it'slike things happen sometimes and
it's like I got to remember toallow feelings.
You know what I'm saying.
So give myself the time togrieve instead of just march on.
So I'm doing that a little more.
(13:45):
Unfortunately, I'm having agood practice at it right now,
but it's been good.
It's been good Instead oftrying to power through things,
letting it be.
You know what I mean.
Letting things out.
So that's been.
The biggest thing is to let goof stuff no, things ain't your
(14:08):
fault and allow yourself togrieve properly.
So I think that's been thebiggest fight I've had in the
last few years.
Like shit, 10 years almost now.
But it's not a good thing topractice because you have to go
through certain things.
But, I'm learning to not justsuck it up and go, because
(14:34):
that's Pause.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That's yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
The plight of the working man.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
McFly, you look like you have something deep to say
ah, I'll.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I've been trying to be.
You know I'll let you guys talkand then um chime in with any
low-hanging fruit that mighthave happened.
But what I'll say is thebiggest fight that I've had
growing up was the constant.
The constantly being writtenoff was the.
(15:21):
The biggest fight that I had Ihad to have overcome in my 39
years was there's always thatforce of someone trying to tell
me that I wasn't supposed to besomething or wasn't supposed to
exist or wasn't supposed to besuccessful, or, and always
overcoming that battle.
Um was my biggest fight, um todate and uh, I think it's a
(15:49):
constant uh revolving doorbecause it ends up becoming
something else or it comes fromsomewhere else, rather.
But uh, it's the constant fightthat I have and it's not like
an internal thing, but it'susually somebody's uh belief
factor trying to uh trying toapply it to me and then
(16:10):
eventually always having tofight against it and improve uh
that I am supposed to be whereI'm at.
So that would be the biggestfight mentally that I've had to
overcome.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Welcome.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
All right.
Mental versus physical.
How do you differentiatebetween mental and physical
challenges, and which do youfind more daunting?
How do you prepare for eachtype?
Speaker 4 (16:46):
The mental challenges are way harder, much harder
than the physical, because themental challenges require
repetition of work to kind oflike turn it into an automatic
response when things happen.
So like kind of what, like whatKevin was touching on.
What sucks about the mentalpart is that the event has to
(17:09):
keep occurring for you toprogress through it.
What the physical challenges,if you show like, let's say, you
want to lose weight, you wantto get stronger, that's just
showing up every day and puttingin work and you can get growth
by that, just by showing up whenin the mental part you have to
actively be thinking or activelybe in a situation to improve
whatever that challenge is yeah,mental is definitely by far
(17:36):
harder because body is mind overmatter.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
At that point shit, like you can be tired, but well,
I mean, I guess the body'sgonna go as far as the body's
gonna go, like the mind can gobeyond, but the mind also can
fight you, so it's like a battleof yourself so that's when you
just take them.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Herbalife pills.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But what's this?
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You don't know about Herbalife pills Shit.
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You should tell her the story about your Herbalife
experience.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I feel that way.
Right now that they got thempre-workout, I'm on shit.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh, you wired up.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Yeah, I could probably.
I'm moving house right nowThree hours Whole house it's
crazy.
Pack and ship.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
How do I handle mental?
I do a lot of.
I think.
I always say that like justself-reflection and trying to
figure out what the hell is.
The reason I feel a certain wayon why I'm not doing something
Like discipline is a mentalthing and that's yeah that's
tough, Like that's one of myhardest ones to accomplish,
(18:49):
Cause I don't know.
That's just that's and I'm.
That's what I'm trying to learn, how I accomplish that one more
practice.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Yeah, cause I can say like not to cut you off, but
not because I can say like notto cut you off, but not because
I can say like, for me with the,with the gym, at first it was
discipline of me forcing myselfto just walk in and do something
.
And then I added accountability.
I had friends help me with, youknow, body bobby, shout out,
body bobby, you know, help mewith with plans.
(19:20):
And now I'm tracking progress.
I'm I'm tracking weight, and sonow he's expected of me to see
what I've done that day, whatthe results is.
So now that gave me more drive.
Like shit, let me go do this.
So I got to hear God damn, pat,it's like, even when it's a
(19:40):
rest day, I'm like, fuck, Ishould go to the gym, like I, I
want it, I want it like, so ittook the repetition of like so
you, you take, you take.
It takes the discipline to turninto a habit, and I think what
people struggle with is goingthrough the process of getting
through the discipline to thehabit.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
But if you, you have to have it's, it's about will
and drive yeah, I mean miketyson did say that the best with
the discipline, but that's ahard fucking thing to do.
Yeah, it's to do the things youdon't like doing as if you love
them.
Yep, and I'm like god dog,that's you have to.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You have to get to the mindset of finding enjoyment
and uncomfortability whenyou're not uncomfortable like
you have to find that you haveto understand that if I'm
uncomfortable or if I'm goingthrough something, it's yeah, it
sucks here in the moment, butthe overall process means I'm
growing.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
So you have to like the overall process because you
know, and I think I find iteasier to do, get myself
disciplined for more physicalthings as opposed to doing
things that are more cerebral,if that makes it make I agree.
So it's like I can get myself upto like work out and shit, but
(20:57):
it's like, okay, now I gotta becreative or write something or
do this or like something that'snot just with my body, like I
gotta use my mind for this andfor some reason I I gotta find
that again and that's I gottafigure out how to take that from
the physical and put it on themental I 100 agree, because I
(21:17):
think about me trying to be moreintentional in my marriage and
in my role as a father.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
That's something I have to constantly think about.
So every interaction, I have tonot just respond.
I have to think, OK, what isthe intention by what I'm saying
and how do I want to beportrayed and what have I?
What promises have I made?
Yeah, Do I need to keep in thismoment?
So it's not just it's.
I can't at home, I can't justhave knee jerk reactions.
(21:44):
I have to process everything tolive up to, you know, the
thought process of beingintentional in my words and in
my actions.
So that part of being that it's, it is a lot.
I'm like I'm just going to takea goddamn nap.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's a lot, I'm like I'm just gonna take a
goddamn nap, that's a lot yeah,but I think it's good because
it's it's goal setting.
It sets goals in your, in yourlife and how to try to
accomplish things.
If you just do the nap thing orjust leave it alone, then
you're not gonna have any, yeah,but you're not gonna drive to
try it.
(22:20):
You know what I mean.
So yeah, I gotta just sit downand write fuck.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I agree with everything they said.
Mcfly, what you got to say,because they said it all, I mean
your turn, apologies it'salright, you did a great job.
No, oh say, what's the question?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
out loud.
You did a great job.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Nah, nah oh say what's the question out loud,
nah, nah yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I'm trying to figure out the best way to
differentiate just say it,because I don't think that was
kind of more of a preferring oneover the other.
I'm trying to see thedifferentiate part like how I
prefer the physical, oh yeahyeah.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I definitely prefer preferring one over the other.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I'm trying to see the differentiate part, like how I
prefer the physical.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Oh, yeah, yeah I definitely prefer the physical
over the mental For me.
Mentally maybe because I'm morecerebral for my brain I prefer
the mental part over thephysical.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
The mental challenges .
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, my brain challenges yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
My brain's always working.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So for me, mentally, it is the bigger challenge, but
it's not harder for me, like Iwould prefer to deal with the
mental challenge over thephysical one, because,
(23:49):
especially if you're if, likewhen you you speak of like your
home life, if I know for a fact,I can wake up each day and know
that yeah, I might not know theright answer, but that I can
figure out maybe the puzzle ofhow to get to a conclusion.
It seems like my brain kind ofgo off.
Thank God Now we can figure outthe puzzle, as opposed to like
my brain physically is like thephysical task of trying to hold
(24:12):
things together together Soundsmore draining to me, but that's
how my brain, brain processesshit.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Like I would much rather take it off mentally but
when you say the task of pullingthings together, it has a
mental aspect.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
But I'm talking about the task of like, when I think
about how draining it is to like, when we talk about going to
the gym, like, say, if I need tohit gym, then go to run the
errands and then do all like,that shit for me is draining,
just for the simple fact that Iunderstand what it takes to get,
oh, got you A, b, c, d, I'mlike fuck.
(24:51):
But like mentally if you sayyou know, today, if you just put
the equation together and getthis done and that done and that
done and like, ok, I can takecare of all this shit.
Get this done and that done andthat done and like, okay, I can
take care of all this shit byjust making sure this is taken
care of.
It's mentally for me.
It's like that sounds morerewarding for me and it makes me
be like I more prefer that overthe physical act of doing shit,
(25:13):
because I feel like I have todo a lot of physical shit from
from get-go anyway.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
So I kind of feel like what you're talking about
from the mental aspect isexhausting to me because in my
mind I set a schedule.
Yeah, Because I got 10 thingsto do and I got 18 hours to do
it.
So if something takes longerthan what I planned, I'm like,
well, fuck, something ain'tgetting done.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
I just know me mentally if I can get through 24
hours and I got the shit doneand that 24 hours flew by, I
feel like I accomplishedsomething, because in that 24
hours, because if it flies by,then I feel like, when it feels
like it takes forever, and I'msitting there, focused on the
fact that we're on hour six andI still got this much shit left.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, I'm good in chaos, though it's weird.
Yeah, like it gets to them likefuck and then I gotta do.
I'll do everything.
I had six hours to do in twohours and it's like I don't know
why I did that to myself.
That was dumb as fuck.
But so, yeah, I don't know.
That's yeah, that's thatinteresting.
That's a good question.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Alrighty Three Motivation and support.
What motivates you to take onthe significant challenges and
who provides support duringthese times?
How important is having support.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Myself, my kids, my wife.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
I'm going to let this take it, since she skipped the
last question.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I didn't skip the last question.
The guy said you did a greatjob in answering the question.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
I didn't even need to say nothing else because you
said it all but people want tohear your voice, so that's why I
asked the question they hear meall the time.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You said what's my motivation?
It depends on the circumstance.
Really to be honest with you,to keep calm and not act up.
Hayden is my motivation becausehe's going to be sad if I go to
jail for beating up his mama andhe's your support system, my
(27:22):
support system.
That also depends on what it is.
He's a kid so obviously I'm notgoing to let him support me
through that.
I just tell him to stay in thekid's place when it comes to
that.
But for my support system forthat, for that particular
situation, I'm going to say it'smyself and my therapist,
(27:43):
because nothing that my sistersor nothing that my friends is
telling me to do is conducivewith positive things maybe that
Dominique going to get her.
So the best thing is me and mytherapist are my biggest support
factors to that it's probablygood if everyone else is telling
(28:05):
you.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I did better, I caught myself leave me alone,
leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You are not about to harass me for this next hour see
, I caught myself leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Anybody else?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, I was saying my kids, wife, family, motivation,
myself, shit, wanting to seewhat things look like.
Support is.
I don't know how this sounds,so I'll just say it, but I feel
(28:45):
like anything I've ever setmyself to do, I've never
actually felt like I've hadanyone doubt me, so I feel like
I always have support.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
If you need that type of support, I will be your
doubter.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Just be like.
You can't do that, so I don'tknow it's trifling.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I've always felt like for a good call just sign up to
be a hater, yeah rightvolunteer bullshit, ass hater,
trifling if you need one if youneed a hater, I'm here for you
like trifling?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
so I don't know.
I just always feel like I havesupport from somewhere, like
within the confines of the groupof the people that I you're
circling.
Yeah that's what's up so quickand easy.
That's what she said.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Uh huh, uh huh ew my support system or my Cisco
dragon pants ah, does it releasethe dragon it released the
dragon pause.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I was like I don't know where this, that, what does
that mean?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
ew, oh shit this that ?
Speaker 3 (30:03):
What does that mean, ew?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh shit, Don't release a damn thing.
Sit next to me.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Ouch Because they spit fire.
Oh God Sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Y'all stressing me out, shut up.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Oh sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Y'all stressing me out, sorry, shut up.
Sorry, he hating on my damnshoes.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I'm not hating.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
You ain't on my shoes I'm not hating.
You got on Cisco pants?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yes, you ain't got no room to hate on and I'm going
to do the Care Bear, stare youain't got no room to hate on
nobody.
I'm going to do the Care BearStare.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I hate you guys.
You're just making me be mean.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I don't want to be mean.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I don't want to be mean you ain't got no room, I
ain't saying nothing, I'm justlaughing.
I know, you know so what?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
popped in my head was that kid son, you going to say
the Care Bear song.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I was thinking that at some point Cisco did have
hair like that.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Okay, it was blonde.
He never dyed it pink.
I never see that man with thedamn pink hair.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
He had the platinum once.
Oh, the platinum.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
What does that have to do with pink?
It's not pink.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
It wasn't pink, but it was platinum.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The dragon.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Okay, you answer the question.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Yeah, I'm going to answer it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, I got my to answer it, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, I
got my eye on you.
I'm going to let the nigga justgo ask another question.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I don't know if it's a.
I guess friends would be asupport system.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
For me.
You guys support me, you know,even though you know.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Ooh, that dress is scandalous.
I didn't know another niggacouldn't handle it.
Ooh, that dress is scandalous.
No one else can handle it.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I saw some niggas singing that and I was like, hey
, are you singing the thong song?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, you guys have supportedme, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Well, we believe in you.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Of course.
Yeah, I know course.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I feel warm.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I don't even know what's.
This episode got multiple ithas a lot oh god, I feel warm,
the furry dragon, this episodegot multiple.
It has a lot, oh God, I feelwarm.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Should it be the furry dragon you want me to
answer?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, go ahead.
Oh, you haven't answered.
Huh, no, I haven't answered.
Go ahead, you try to slide.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
My greatest motivation and support like you,
kevin, I'd say is my family, mymotivation.
My wife has been my greatestsupport.
I've said many times that thiswoman has been by me at my worst
, so she deserves everything Ihave at my best and I give her
that.
I also have great.
(32:53):
I get great support from mybrothers and sisters.
I can talk to them open andthey will.
They will listen, give solidadvice before they start talking
shit.
My brother is a Gemini, so whenhe turn up, it's turned up and
we do nigga shit.
Well, yeah, my family, myfamily, my friends you know the
(33:21):
people I consider friends.
You know I feel like I have agood circle of people I can
communicate with and thatsupport me.
Even like before today I wastalking, roy had called me, I
was talking, we was talking, wealways talk about money, stocks
and shit, and I reallyappreciate him for that because
(33:45):
he always you know, every timeit's like you know he get wind
of something hey, I don't knowif you can, but this is what I
hear is coming and a lot oftimes that shit pan out, and so
I appreciate that because he'ssupporting me in my retirement,
which also supports my family,so I like having that.
But I feel like I've had a lotof people support me, and some
(34:09):
people support me in ways Ididn't expect, so I've had a
good life.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Uber Eats, uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also
support.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also support they
be having too many weird assthings on the internet that
happen when they delivering foodlook here if I order food,
someone eat my fries, then wefighting.
They be eating fries, they besipping out the drink.
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I don't get drinks, but they can eat my fries.
That's cool.
Nah, I eat at Taco Bell.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
They lick the shells you all right, mcfly, mm-hmm,
you pondering, mm-hmm, youpondering, mm-mm.
Okay, it's hot, you going toanswer.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
I did answer.
I said my friends support me.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
And I'm warm.
You should be.
You got a whole dragon on yourthigh.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I'm just waiting To hit the match you should be With
a whole dragon.
On your thigh Strike the match.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Just Drag on.
Yeah, that's hilarious actually.
The flame, flame onMotherfucker.
Oh shit, I gotta stop.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Oh man, we gotta ask the next question are we gonna
be here for a while?
Speaker 3 (35:22):
alright, alright, alright.
Growth and transformation howdo you um?
How have these fights changedyou?
What personal growth andtransformation have you
experienced as a result?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I'm a lot calmer shit yeah, damn y'all ain't even
seen me act up you must havebeen turnt up back then cause,
if this is calm, it is.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Y'all ain't even seen me act up.
Did you just walk around withthe other person?
Y'all ain't even seen me act up.
Y'all seen a minute reactionout of me.
You've not seen me act up.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I am a lot.
He was Tupac for real.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Listen, bug fucking life.
But I am.
I am a lot calmer now, but calmdown, You'll be a thug, the
mantra Listen and that was agood album.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's that, but he he didn't read.
That's jail.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Sorry, sorry, but that's dope, that's good.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Yeah, I agree I feel the same with you.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I'm happy you're healing a little bit, I mean,
I'm a little bit, I mean, andwhen she shoots that it's a lot
more calm too.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's tame, it's like hey, listen, I'll give her some
notes boom, you've been shot.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Thank you, I don't know what gun go boom, shooting
Boom, you've been shot, thankyou, I don't know what gun go
boom, I would say.
For me, the answer is I'm ableto look more internal as to why
(37:00):
I'm reacting or feeling acertain way and I'm I'm able to
take accountability for my rolein what's happening, because
even if you're not the cause orit wasn't your intention, you
still you play a role in everysituation.
It could be a good role or badrole.
So I think I've, I've journeyedto the point to where I now I
(37:22):
can now look at myself and seewhat roles and what I've done to
dictate the experiences I'vehad, and it's given me better
insight to avoid certain thingsbe a lot of things that taught
me a lot more gratefulness likeI'm a lot more grateful in life
(37:51):
with things I've gottenaccomplished.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I'm learning to stop and like appreciate that instead
of looking forward all the time, and like that's where I think
I fuck up sometimes, just tryingto just always get to the next
thing like all right, there'ssomething more, instead of just
well, what about this, enjoythis, you know what I mean.
(38:13):
So that, and then more gracewith people, letting them feel
how they feel and you know, yeah, uh, not react in a way, that's
just how I think things areright or things should be or
whatever.
It's like you got to thinkabout how they feel or why
they're doing the things orsaying the things.
(38:33):
They say.
So a lot more.
What's the entry?
The opposite of introspective,outro, outward, when you're
looking outward towards people.
So I think all my fights havetaught me things like that.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
It's not about me.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Let either man hear you say he's thinking he's
cooking up something good he'scooking it it's very surface
level, okay, uh For me.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
I think that the fight for me the best way I say
it.
I feel like I haven't felttransitioning-wise, I don't feel
like I've had my biggest fightyet, but I do feel like the
(39:44):
world kind of been giving gracefrom what I should be doing as
far as the hell I should begiving.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
The hell you should be giving or giving.
Giving Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Like I should.
Like I don't lash out like Ishould be lashing out.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Gotcha, could that be a byproduct of your own
internal peace, your owninternal self worth?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yeah, but at the same token it's sometimes I feel
like internal peace.
In order to have the true peacethat I want, I have to raise
hell at some point Like truehell, you definitely got to
stand up for yourself.
So I don't feel like that'shappened yet, but when it
happens.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Can I ask you why?
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Mainly for other people's benefit, as far as not
wanting to destroy certain, Iguess peace for other people for
that moment.
But when I start getting tothat point where I say fuck
other people's peace.
Speaker 4 (40:50):
It's going to be dangerous, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But I'm there, I'm very, very close to that.
But that growth is just fromunderstanding that.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
Can you just give me a heads up so I can put my vest
on?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Put your vest on.
It ain't like I'm going to ashooting spree at work or some
shit.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
What do you think's holding you if you're close?
What do you think's holding youif you don't mind me asking?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
yeah, I just feel like it's certain people's piece
that that.
But there will be a byproductof me deciding to fucking crash
out that they're going to end upcatching more of the hell just
off of a yeah, sorry, I'mlooking at the screen by
association just because they'rethey're near me.
It's gonna be like oh shit likewhy am I?
(41:43):
Catching the heat too, likethat kind of shit but um.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
So now here's a question if you're close, what
makes what's gonna do?
You think there's gonna be atrigger to it, or do you think
you're just going to say fuck it?
I'm sure I'm just like fuck it,okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
So, basically, you're just waiting for the one thing
to make you completely crash out.
Yeah, and we're not talkingabout Doja Cat crash out.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
No no.
Speaker 4 (42:16):
I'm like, hey, man, what's going on?
If you show up one day and youdidn't cut your braids off, I'm
like, are you alright?
Because if I see you with akitchen cut?
I'm like, yeah, you get it.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Nah, I'm not.
I'm not going to hurt myself inthat process, Damn this nigga
said kitchen cut.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Yeah, that would be hey kitchen, kitchen cut yeah,
yeah, that would be hey we gottatalk.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, hey, I'm here for you.
So everyone's answered yeah.
Overcoming fear how do youovercome fear or doubt when
facing a significant challenge?
What strategies help you stayfocused and motivated?
Speaker 4 (42:50):
I think the only way to overcome fear is to embrace
it.
Yeah, that's, I mean that'sthat's it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's.
The only answer I could fear isto embrace it.
Yeah, that's.
I mean.
That's, that's it.
That's the only answer.
I could think I was like I meanthere ain't shit you could do
about it either.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Like you gotta.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
you gotta face the head on or be scared, you gotta
walk through the fire and prayfor the lowest degree of burns
On the other side.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
That's a good way to put that.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying Everybody just
answered it unanimously.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
It's one of those things where all you can do is
meet it with force.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Meet force with force or just those are the two
things you do, either face it ornot.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yeah, you're either going to go with it or you're
going to be scared.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
But if you don't face it, you're still facing it in
another way.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's what.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
I mean, you're just going to go away from it Touche.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
That's true.
Is that facing it or is thatjust going away from it?
Speaker 4 (43:43):
But if it's the fear of what an outcome will be, or
it's a fear because you justdon't want to do a certain thing
, but you know that if you don'tdo it it's going to be have a
negative response or a negativereaction, and the only reason
why you're not doing it isbecause you're weary of what's
on the other side you're goingto always think of.
(44:03):
You're going to have thosethoughts of what if or what
could have been.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
I don't believe that, because niggas don't like
heights and they're like I topof a building.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
That girl had fear when they were running that
relay race and she hit.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
She didn't know that was coming.
She whooped that nigga yeah shehit her on purpose, she hit her
on purpose.
Oh, did you hear her Her thing?
She said it was an accident.
She said it was an accident.
Yeah, she said it was anaccident, fuck her.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
But looking at her parents, you can kind the damn
girl, oh yeah yeah, she was mad.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
The old girl was leaving her, was fucking her up,
she was gone, yeah she waspassing and she just got charged
too.
She should, yeah, she shoulddefinitely for assault yeah,
battery I guess it would be.
Yeah, she said it was anaccident.
I hope people don't think thatI would do something like this
as we're watching you go yeah,she was like I know what it
sounds crazy, but like I waslike my hand went back and I'm
like you could look at her daddyand tell he constructed the
damn story.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
Yeah, I would just say I thought fear is just an
emotion like any other emotion.
You just have to learn how toprocess it correctly because you
get to the underlining reasonwhy the fear is there.
You get to the underliningreason why the fear is there.
Are you really fearful ofwhat's in front of you or are
(45:20):
you fearful of the outcome?
Speaker 1 (45:21):
of what's in front of you.
If you go through it, I feellike it's good to be afraid of
some shit yeah, it's cool and,like I said, like there's
certain things I wouldn't expectyou.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
I'm not gonna walk into a lion's den well, yeah,
that's just that's, that'shealthy fear, yeah because it's
like, but I've seen videos ofpeople living with them and
petting them yeah and I'm like,but that's one of those things
I'm hungry, it's not gonnaregret it won't be a regret or I
don't feel like I missed outI'm saying the.
(45:50):
I know what you're saying.
The regret part comes to moreof, like, the internal things,
not not the.
I mean the physical fear of,like hurting yourself.
Yeah, don't do that.
But I'm talking about when it's, when it's something that you
have to work on, uh, for yourand your internal peace or your
internal um frame of mind, likethat fear is that's, that's
what's going to come back tohaunt you, haunt you if things
(46:12):
still don't work out in yourfavor.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
You know what fear I had Shout out to Scrappy G.
That's when he was referring toold school, and then somehow it
transitioned to me and I saidhow the fuck did we get there?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
That's funny, did you ?
Speaker 4 (46:32):
not know.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
I'm old school, I guess I fuck it did, it did
slide in.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
When did you time?
Speaker 1 (46:39):
out, time out.
When did you start rapping?
Speaker 4 (46:43):
come on, it was 20 years ago.
Come on, now remember before.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
What do we call old school?
Speaker 3 (46:49):
yeah, I agree.
I just when he said it I waslike damn, why do you have to
transition to me?
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I mean, because it was 20 years ago, the gentleman
was six.
He was three.
Oh yeah, he's 23.
He's 23.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
He was a baby, Sorry.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Stena, I didn't realize that You're like I did,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Damn yeah.
I'm going to have to watch thetape, but In his eyes you and
Snoop are leveled, so that worksout.
No, all right.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
You know how long Snoop been rapping.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Shout out to Scrappy Hell.
We was three minutes.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Snoop a grandpa, we're going to shoot past what
Scrappy G was.
When Snoop started rapping Ithought, yeah, a prayer, because
I wasn't even was when Snoopstarted rapping.
I thought yeah, yeah, a prayeryeah, because I wasn't even.
Yeah, snoop.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
Yeah, he was still attached to his mama.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yeah, he was for sure .
It hadn't dropped Not born yet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Snoop shut, but anyway, I just yeah that fear.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, I can dig that Old.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I can dig that I'm old, I can dig that old is a
mindset, it's not it definitely.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Is that to my knees?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
it definitely is my knee hurt right now?
It definitely is a mindset hey,knees, stop hurting.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
My mind says it's not , don't be there, yeah you.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
You can command your do not give me start.
You can command your body tonot be in pain.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
No, that's true.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
But you're still getting older, no matter what.
But I just don't think that ageand time exist.
I really do think it's amindset.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
That's a different conversation Don't fall and
break your hip.
So I'm working the same dayEvery day.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Don't.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
Don't go in there.
Don't do it.
Okay, the rabbit hole?
No, don't go in, don't go inthere, don't go, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Okay, the rabbit hole gets deep.
I can go further.
We'll be here all day, just.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
All right, I would have said fuck you too, but the
list was full.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Impact on life.
How have these experiencesimpacted other areas of your
life, such as relationships orcareer?
Speaker 2 (49:02):
I don't want to date nobody else with no damn kids
say it again I don't want to bewith nobody else with no kids.
Now, at my age I know it'slikely that I'll end up being
with somebody with kids, butthey got to have their baby
mamas in control, and by incontrol I mean whatever positive
deceased.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
You want a good co-parenting situation here we
get yes, no a very goodco-parenting situation please,
because what if that kid hasgrown you ain't gotta deal with
it, love it.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Who got a grandpa?
Love it, love it.
Okay, because I grandpa takingthat cialis.
Listen, I, I, I'm certified topass meds, nigga, what are you
trying to do?
Um, I just yeah, no, I, I can'twith anybody else that has
children that they don't have agood, positive relationship with
(49:55):
the mom.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
That's too much.
Yeah, makes a lot of sense.
Shit, that's your piece.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Yeah, oh God, kevin Excuse me sorry, my bad.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
I apologize, I shouldn't have done that right
in the mic.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Right into the mic.
No, it's cool.
No, it's cool, I mean he's, youknow, hard burn.
I took some Pepsi, but you oldas hell.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I took some Pepsi.
Yeah, I'm on Pepsi.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
It's a mindset.
Ask the fucking question.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
I feel like other areas I find myself having to
like remember to feel badsometimes and you can't be that
high.
No, not for myself, like forother people and stuff, like
when things happen sometimes andI'm like, depending on what it
(50:59):
is, sometimes I'm like, but Ithink a lot of this shit that
I've dealt with made me a lotmore callous to certain things,
which I shouldn't be, because Iused to not be like that.
And then it's like man thatain't shit Shut up, and I'm
trying to not, and then it'slike man, that ain't shit Shut
up, and I'm trying to not.
So I think that's the most thatis affecting me is a little
(51:19):
more calloused, but I don't know, maybe that's not that bad, I'm
not sure.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
I'm still not sure about that.
When I think about myexperience, the one thing that
comes to mind is communication.
I've learned that I need to beable to communicate my thoughts
and my feelings in the moment sothat it doesn't linger into
something or I assume somethingor they assume something because
I'm not being up front with myviews, opinions and my feelings
(51:52):
in that moment, especiallyregarding, like, my marriage.
Right, I can't hold heraccountable for things if she
has no knowledge of what'spissing me off.
I can't just say you know,because a lot of times you know
shit happens.
You'd be like you'd be madabout it, but you just keep
going on because shit got to bedone.
(52:19):
So what I've learned especiallyrecently is just to voice the
problem when it's a problem,because for me personally it
always tends to be a biggerproblem the second time around.
But now I didn't say nothingthe first time.
Now the second time it's hereand now.
But now I got smoke from bothtimes.
I'm sorry, I got smoke fromboth times that I'm expressing
and I've learned that that wasnot good.
So with me I understand thatit's just communicating, and I
(52:43):
mean not just in my marriage,it's like even with my daughter,
even in my friendships, evenhere on the podcast.
It's just communicating what myfeelings are and my intentions,
communicating what my feelingsare and my intentions, and then
not only communicating but thensetting the boundaries so that
(53:04):
you don't have less, so that youdon't have the moments where
you get upset or you feel likeyou're overwhelmed or you feel
like you know you're being takenadvantage of or shit like that.
So you set the boundaries andthen you live in the confines of
your boundaries so that way youalways feel secure in what
you're doing.
But those boundaries and thosefeelings need to be out front on
the table so everyone knowswhat they are, everybody
understands what your positionis, and so then it's not like
(53:25):
they're getting hit with a blindside.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
That's a super rare opinion, but I actually I like
super rare opinion but Iactually like that about you,
that's not rare.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
You do that often Very good.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I'm not going to say it.
It's nice he's putting this onmy nerves, oh God.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Jesus, he does.
I swear on Baby Jesus slippers.
I can't say you sometimes, didyou say?
Speaker 4 (53:49):
on Baby Jesus slippers, and that's going to be
the name of the goddamn episode.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Well, I do.
I like that about you.
I think you do a great jobcommunicating and you allow
people to come and communicateto you.
I like that For real On babyJesus slippers.
At least I didn't give Jesus amiddle name this time.
Listen, because he been JesusHezekiah that nigga was barefoot
when he was.
Listen Because he beat JesusHezekiah that nigga was barefoot
when he was.
Listen, my Jesus had slipperson.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
He had them, jerusalems Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
My Jesus had slippers .
Speaker 4 (54:28):
But, and he dropped 40 of those.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
No, not these particular ones, but similar.
Now, if those was Jesus, I waslike hey, you better, was it
those Yep?
No, not these particular ones,but similar.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Now, if those was Jesus, I was like, hey, you
better put those in the music.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Not these particular ones, but similar.
My Jesus had slippers.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
You know, going back to what you were saying, I think
it's funny because I tell, likeAmanda, that sometimes, like
when she's like mad aboutsomething or something with work
or friends or something,anything, well I'm like, but did
you tell them that?
Because if you didn't tell themthat they don't know, you can't
be mad at them for that rightand like I think a lot of people
(55:07):
don't want to have thatuncomfortable ass conversation.
Where he's like I, I tellmyself that.
Speaker 4 (55:12):
Where I'm like I don't do this shit, but how I
can't just be mad because in myexperience or but my experience
is that when you have theconversation it's not easy to
have a conversation where youknow that it's only gonna go one
or two ways.
Either they're gonna takeoffense or they're gonna say
something in return, and you andnow you have a different view
(55:35):
like fuck, I'm the one that'swrong.
So now, like you have to belike, being able to communicate
effectively is being able totake accountability in the
moment.
Yeah, absolutely if I come toyou and say, hey, like, fuck it.
I say, hey, I didn't like this,this and this, and they go.
Well, you said, well, fuck,alright, alright, my bad, you
know what I mean.
Like you have to be able thatgrace has to be extended both
(55:57):
ways.
You have to be able and willingto take accountability when
your anger or your whatever yourexperience is misplaced.
Yeah, and a lot of people don'tdo that shit well, I may hire
you to be my therapist.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
We might.
Speaker 4 (56:09):
Counselor no the session's gonna be free.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
I may hire married.
Speaker 3 (56:15):
You be knowing what you be talking about mcfly I
just know in certain aspects ofmy life, I do know that, like
you said, when I have boundaries, that I know for a fact that
the people that do know myboundaries know that there's
certain lines not to cross withme.
Therefore, that peace is isalways intact.
But again I say, when thatother fucking shoe drops and I
(56:41):
lash the fuck out, can I?
Speaker 4 (56:47):
say a PSA on top of that, when he drops the other
shoe, can you not call me to askme what's wrong with him?
If you can't communicate withhim, you're the problem.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
I can't communicate with him.
Speaker 4 (56:58):
You're the problem.
I can't.
I.
I stopped doing that shit along time ago.
People used to always try touse me as a middleman.
What's going on?
And they call them.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
It feels like there's a storm coming hey if it is,
hey nigga if it is.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
I got my raincoat oh my god, I have a whole rain
outfit shoes oh my lord, she gotoutfit shoes matching coat.
Speaker 4 (57:14):
She got way too excited, way too Way too.
Speaker 2 (57:18):
At least you know if you get the trip.
I'm going to be stylish whileyou're doing it.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
You know, I always I tell them the trip, I say, nigga
, just let me know so I can.
I'll make sure I'll let you goto the line when I say, hey,
nigga, your job, calm down, yeah, Like I was with you here no,
no like I was like think about,think about them kids, think
about them size 17 of our knee,stop right there, that's.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
That's a tall baby with that being said, this has
been episode 190 of theheavyweight podcast uh, again,
we appreciate you like,subscribe, share and comment all
that shit.
Uh, till next time.
Speaker 2 (57:57):
We're not that old I'm not old at all, I'm the baby
that's a wrap, y'all.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
That's.
That's how she wrote, so makesure you click like subscribe.
Tune in we on austrian platform.
So until next time we'll haveto ask you.
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