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This week, we’re talking about growing pains—literally and figuratively. From real-life aches to realizing you’re slowly turning into your parents, this episode is full of laughs, life updates, and relatable moments.

We also touch on therapy, parenting, and the ways we stay connected to family while still adjusting to the weirdness of getting older. It’s honest, funny, and surprisingly real.

The Education News Comedy Quiz -- Some of the Above
Play along with guest contestants from the education world. Laugh some & learn some...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Podcast.
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
God damn you good.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
God damn you good.
No, that hurt my knee.
I'm over the shit.
I'm scared like to like jumpand shit because I'm like I
don't want to be that nigga whojust blows his achilles doing
some regular shit, that's likethat.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
Two things this weekend.
Nigga, the, the motherfucker atthe gym, was like, yeah, man,
you should do some step-ups,it's great.
I said, nigga, you don'tunderstand how my knees work,
I'm not stepping up to shit.
And then that TikTok thingabout how many men out there can
run a 13 flat 100.
I said, nigga, I don't give afuck, I'm not running.
If I try to run full sprint for100 meters, yeah, why do I need

(01:03):
to do that?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Both my hands are going.
I'm not an athlete.
Maybe if I was.
Well, no, even like basketball,you ain't running 100.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
No yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
It's 94 feet.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
I was like no, I'm going to fuck around.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'll have all these motherfuckers.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
You're Achilles.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
All these motherfuckers are going to be in
the goddamn hospital trying torun 100 meters.
Fuck around and find out worksboth ways.
Yes, you gotta do 100.
Uh, 100 under 13, look here.
Yeah, for all y'all that theycould do it.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Congratulations, you know how many 40 year olds you
see in the emergency room fromfrom non-emergencies?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Are we rolling?

Speaker 2 (01:49):
What's good.
This is episode 211 of theHeavyweight Podcast.
I'm your anti-social host,studder McFly, back again with
these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out
Chill.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Are we 100 short of 311?
The group.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Anyway, stinging Montlager that's still reserved,
huh Still reserved Shit.
Now that's some alcoholic shitthere.
Yeah, those were some days.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
But 311, that's my baby group.
She was singing that shit.
I was like how do you knowthese songs?
Her mom?
Yeah, that's my baby group.
She was singing.
I was like how?

Speaker 1 (02:25):
do you know these songs?
Amber, amber in the comingenergy whoa.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
I see Kevin also has little girls.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I probably introduced him to you, my name is Molito
positive Mo.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
I'm broke, that's my name, I'll drink to that yeah,
life is life how are your?

Speaker 3 (02:57):
weeks.
Uh, it was a roller coaster andI, honestly, you know we're
just getting through it, youknow I'll drink that, yeah, yeah
, I uh against my betterjudgment.
You know, I the week started offrough, had my gallbladder
attack, so I ended up missingsome days of work I wouldn't

(03:17):
expect, which required me to goto work on a friday, which I
haven't done in quite a longtime.
And how'd it feel?
The day wasn't bad.
And then I was leaving.
They were like, hey, you know,we have like 109 more customers
and I said, damn, that soundslike a you problem.
See you, see you Sunday.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Did they try to hit you?

Speaker 3 (03:43):
with the team player thing?
No, they know I'm not a teamplayer.
Was it that guy that tried?
No, he wasn't even there.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, you got a nemesis .

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah, that nigga.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean not even a nigga, that nigga, I don't know
what that is, but yeah, we gowith that.
My week was good, expensive,did a lot flex on a daughter got
a her driver's license.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
So that's that's.
That's big and nerve-wrackingat the same time.
Hold up, wow.
I need you to go to the storeright now.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
She gotta be initialized oh she, yeah, she's
already on the go.
Here's a list.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Bring back my change.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
We need cheese some uh seasoning that we don't use.
Go take your sisters to thepark yeah, that's.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
I can't wait for that god damn right are you looking
forward to that?
To what?
When you throw Ava the key andsay, take it, no go?

Speaker 2 (04:44):
take your brother.
No, I can't wait for that.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
God damn right.
Are you looking forward to that?
To what?
When?

Speaker 2 (04:47):
you throw.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Ava the key and say go, take your brother.
No, you not.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
No, I'll explain why.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Oh damn, I'm just waiting on.
I'm just trying to get them tothe point now to think that
that's going to be their truck,and it ain't.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah, this is nice.
Dad got to keep this clean forus.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Nah, nah, nah, we really don't, that's mine.
But week was good, therapystarted, that that was really
good.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
That's what's up.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's new.
I like it.
Did you cry?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Nah, nah, we laughed a lot.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
That's a it's, it's, it's new.
I like it.
Um, did you cry?
Nah?
Nah, we laughed a lot, that'scool.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
How was the?

Speaker 3 (05:30):
hold on.
If you making your therapistlaugh, you should charge them
too, cause they get theconversation.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
How's the transition into, I guess, opening up like
that?

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Uh, I don't know.
I feel like it's easy to talkbut it's getting some things out
.
I can see I take a long routeto get to it, but it's an
interesting conversation becauseshe's always like well, you're
pretty, I can tell you're smartand you think things through.

(06:02):
It's the emotion thing you gotto get to thing, so it's cool.
It's it's cool.
I like it.
I don't know if I'm gonnachange it to where I go more or
leave it where it's at right nowis the insurance covered uh, I
guess, yeah, I use my.
I don't pay for what I use the,the fsa oh, yeah, yeah it as

(06:24):
long as you ain't paying.
I mean, I am, but I'm not youknow what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, I know it justcomes out.
So yeah, that's what I do.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
I book them up, so I might as well, man, yeah, I text
my therapist.
Hey, I got to see you tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
I Like they always tell me I could do that, but I'm
like I don't know I got to workon that.
This week's mission is torecognize the times I feel
guilty when I shouldn't.
You should.
Good luck with that, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
McFly.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
My week was different highs and lows.
I don't normally talk about it,but I figured fuck it For over
when I thought about it lastnight.
It's been like 15 years, butfor like 15 years I've had a
stalker.
So that stalker reemergeditself at the beginning of my

(07:26):
week and it, uh, it tripped meout because I started doing
research on shit and then youjust realize that people got a
lot of time on their hands.
But it's even more concerningto know that when I looked at it
, how many people are goingthrough, uh, same or worse than
I was going through.
So I was just like, well, uh,just be more mindful of, uh, how

(07:52):
you work the internet.
I know that.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
So, uh, I was gonna ask you how does this does that
like?
How did that make you feel withthat knowing, like the other
people like out there with thesame it?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
kind of gives a little bit more of a uh cool, I
know I'm not alone in that, butlike then, when you start
reading like the stories andyou're like people will share
stories and I'm like I didn't gothrough that like with it god
damn.
But like when you were hearinghow easily people can uh, attach
themselves to other people'slives like that, because it was

(08:25):
one nigga that said it was to apoint.
He said when he would play asong he would get a text message
like that song's stupid, damn.
Oh yeah, and you're like mynigga, so they're live on time
telling you that your playlistis stupid.
Play a different song.
And he's like they're listeningin.
That's weird, stupid.

(08:46):
Play a different song and he'slike like they're listening in,
like, so it's like and uh, andthen like how easy it is to
essentially attach yourself tolike your google account or your
, your iCloud cloud account ifyou have an apple uh product and
just sitting there and gatherinformation.
So but yeah, it's, yeah it's.
It's one of the things whereit's weird to say, but I had

(09:08):
gotten so used to it.
I just kind of shrug it off notshrug it off, but just kind of
accept that.
It's like I had a conversation.
I was like it's like now,having conversations people,
it's like almost like niggatelling them you have herpes.
Nigga, like you're like, youknow, I just got to disclose

(09:28):
there's a stalker attached.
So any conversations with meyou just know that there's a
stalker here and it's like it'slike that.
I was like, damn, it's likeherpes, that's crazy.
That's like what.
Like hey, you got this littlestalker thing.
It's like, but um other thanthat, like I said, like Maurice

(09:52):
knows, I'll have like extremelows and highs, but like I
always try to find a silverlining in things.
So it's, it sucks to deal withand, uh, the people that it can
affect, but like I don't, like Ican't control what someone
decides to do with their, theirfree time but, the other highs,
which I'll get back to thequestion you asked about Ava's

(10:15):
driving.
We played fortnight as a family.
Yesterday she was driving itwas the me, her and Andreas,
right and we spent like 30minutes trying to get Andreas to
play because Andreas reallyseemed against it and I was mad
because I installed it to his PC.

(10:35):
So I'm like nigga it took a longtime to get to this point and
how big the Fortnite file is.
So we finally got him to play.
And we were playing and it'sfunny because you're trying to
interact and Ava's this part ofthe map, he's at that part of

(10:55):
the map and we got to find amiddle point.
So I get to Ava and no, I endedup getting.
I got, I got rushed bum, rushedby like a group.
They were working together andthey killed me.
So Ava had to come and reviveme.
And then she was like I got youdad, so she, she revised me, I
hop in the car with her, she'sdriving.

(11:16):
I was like, oh shit, like ifthis is any indication what the
future, I don't need this kindof energy, like.
But then we catch up withAndreas and and we start going
through the map and it waspretty cool to have that kind of
bond and then Andreas does whatAndreas does.
Andreas is like he'll go dosome venture shit, and you turn

(11:38):
around and Andreas needs to berevived.
You're like what the fuck man,what the hell.
But we ended up fucking winningthat match and we we like got
number one that match.
But like every time, I everylike five minutes.
So andre seems to be revived.
You're like, oh my god, likewhat the fuck like?
But then we eventually got tothe end of the map and we we
were the last, but it was dope,because it was nice to have that

(12:00):
kind of interaction with mykids where every time we came
across a group of other peoplethey would try to attack one of
them and then they didn'trealize the dad was sitting
there and I was.
I came up the back and or it'dbe the opposite they would
attack me and they would.
I got you dad and they wouldcome after him and then, once
they start focusing their, theirshots on them, I would come
around the back and I'm likethat call of duty shit coming to

(12:22):
play, where you realize thatnigga, call of duty and
fortnight are very similarbecause they would try to build
and I would slide around themand just as soon as they start
the building I said you fuckedup, like it's like.
It's like when you, you know,when you fight nigga, you get
them on the ropes as soon asthey start trying to nope nigga,
that's when you attack.
So we ended up winning likethat and it felt good to be able

(12:43):
to win with them.
And then Ava took the next matchwe had.
We ended up coming in secondand she took that shit hard and
didn't want to play for the restof the day.
But yeah, to answer yourquestion, no, the way she was
driving.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
She said one or nothing.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, but it was nice to have that kind of time yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Awesome.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Andreas, remind me of you.
Remember that viral clip likeway back maybe like 10 years ago
, the Leroy Jenkins clip wherelike it was a raid, they were
playing like an MMO game and itwas a raid and they had like
built up this army and they weregoing to go attack this boss
and they were in the plan andthen Leroy was like man fuck
your plan.
I think I remember that he justbumped the motherfucker's like

(13:28):
this is 40 hours of planning.
He was like look here, man, I'mhere to have fun.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
I don't know if I should go into more detail for
the I might leave it off on thatbut I'll say this Don't let
kids tell you that they don'thave the discipline or the or
the focus until it's somethingthey want to do, and you'll
realize let me tell you this Iwoke up this morning at 6 am,

(13:59):
right, and I know how peoplefeel about roblox, but we they,
we keep them on a smallparameter, like we usually are
very involved in them being onroblox.
So whatever they play, parentsis there, so we play with them.
So there's a particular gamethey play out.
It's like 99 lives in theforest or something, and, like
you, only you can only play in agroup and it's a strategy based

(14:21):
game.
In roblox and apparently it'sin fortnite too, because I
played it um you, they havecertain launches where they give
you free shit, but you have tobe up at 7 am.
Oh shit, why did I wake up togo to the bathroom?
Abel's like dad.
What was that noise?

Speaker 3 (14:40):
I said she don't get her shit I said that was my
alarm.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
You're up, yeah, I'm up.
7 am, we get they give yougiving away stuff at 7 am.
I said, and I'm thinking in myback of my mind, I'm like she
ain't got energy for school.
Yeah, every time I wake, y'allup for school y'all.
But for on a Saturday morning,you sitting here wide awake, and

(15:08):
then all of a sudden I'msitting there, I hear dad.
I said, andreas, you're up too.
Yeah, you know this, it's 7 am,we get the free stuff.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
I said, are you?
Hey?
Hey, they still got the freeshit.
Hey, I think you gotta takethat as a win, because that's
better than when they was a whatwas that?
A couple weeks ago, and theywere texting you hey dad, can
you buy us this?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
but I'm just saying, as wild as I'm like y'all don't
ever tell me that you can't wakeup to go to school.
If you're up at 7 am on asaturday where you could have
slept in, look I'm gonnaremember this.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
I watched the eight-year-old last night
attempt to complete a back tuckfor an hour and a half, that's
dedication and I said but if Iask you to clean your room,
you're tired in five minutes.
Oh, yeah, but you just tried todo a back tuck for an hour and
a half.
I mean, granted, she almost gotit a couple times, but I was
like you did that with no breaks, no, no water, no stomach

(16:02):
hurting.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Well, cleaning the room is hard, so hard.
I said yeah, yeah, so I agreewhen they are motivated to do it
.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
It's a whole different, whole different focus
, oh, different.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
All right, so before we get into the shenanigans, let
me get you now One time you'regoing to shenanigan.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I like to do a little thing to get our brains going.
You know what I'm saying?
Rapid fire questions.
Get your brains active in themorning, because it is morning,
okay.
So all right, nigga, every timeI wake up, no matter on my
workout journey, my knees alwayslet me know something.
They let me know I'm gettingolder and they go crack snack
crap on pop.
So here we go.
At what age did you officiallystart blaming all your aches and

(16:47):
pains on old age?

Speaker 1 (16:49):
18.
Yeah, I was going to sayprobably 26.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
I would have said, yeah, around 25, 26.
I think it might have even beenon the damn trip to Vegas.
I think I got up and that shit,shit popped and I said I don't
think that's supposed to happen,pimp.
And then, like certainmovements, when you make a quick
movement, you feel that, thatthat pulling your back and
you're like I don't think that'ssupposed to happen.
Um, when did you realize thatyour favorite music from back in

(17:17):
the day is now deemed classicor vintage?

Speaker 1 (17:21):
every day.
Oh a long ass time yeah thatshit sucked.
That was around the time when Iwas same time with the age
where I was like blaming shit.
Somebody was like, oh, they'replaying b2k.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Oh yeah, that's old school shit right there and I
was like what bitch every time Ilisten to kd and now they're
playing in uh, how we do, yeah,or stuff like that, and I'm like
nigga wait a minute.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
We had CDs.
Those are gone.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
Hip hop classic.
It's ludicrous.
What's your fantasy, Nigga?
What Classic.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, you start feeling away Like what, wait, no
, because you start carrying theone.
You're like oh shit, it's been20 years.
Yeah, shit, yeah, all right.
What's a hairstyle you rockedin your youth that you
absolutely can't believe youever thought looked good S-curl.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, all of them, I had that.
Yeah, the S-curl, I had that.
The high fade, the high fade.
I had a Gumby like the bowl cut, like the never had a Gumby.
The braids, the braids I hadwere way too tight what is it?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
the braids?
They were way too tight didthey make you like Meek Mill?
It was way too tight.
Like, like.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Meek Mill no, I can't say what it made me look like
cause day and age and then triedto do the ball thing.
I remember that and like Ididn't know what I was doing and
I must have went the wrong waybecause my shit like was bad
like the ball face, it was no,like big and it was just like oh
crusty somebody.
Hey, what's wrong with yourhead?

(18:55):
I'll never forget that damn.
Yeah, I don't.
I'll never do that again, yeah,so all of those.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Uh, I had the rat tail I I just always made fun of
those rack tails and duck tails.
I I didn't get it.
What's the duck tail?
Same shit.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Wow, a little tail or you know a little break I know
the rat tail.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
I had the rat tail for a while.
Uh, the picture I shared withmaurice, uh, on my weight loss
journey, I, I didn't know whenthis was, I guess that's not
even a youth and they gave you ayounger uh, the, the, the faux
hawk, the professor, clump, shit.
Uh, it looked fucked up becausewith the weight gain I had,

(19:41):
like the, the, the, the, youknow, the thick under the neck,
the gobble.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
The cut was fresh, though Shit.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
That way it wasn't.
He was like Professor Klump.
I said, god damn it, I'mwatching Nelly, professor, right
now.
I had to send him the fuckingscreenshot, nig like nigga, of
all the times to say it is whenI'm watching the movie look here
, people, if you can't make funof your friends to your friends
y'all not really friends.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
I said god damn, all right um no, but like when you
gave andreas the frog, that shitlook I thought yeah him, look
clean, I ain't him.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
I ain't him so, uh, how do you hide the gray hairs
when your barber startssnitching?

Speaker 3 (20:33):
I ain't got that problem.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Oh my god, I can answer this cause my first
barber was my dad.
He pointed that shit out at 18.
Damn, he was like you got agray hair right here.
Okay, I'll go ahead and cut itout.
All right, I appreciate it.
And then, like as now, everytime I go to my braider because
she cuts my hair and braids, Ijust accept it yeah, man, you

(21:02):
see my beard shit ain't nohiding it.
Now I I got white hairseverywhere, and I mean
everywhere yeah, that's, yeah,hey, we believe you yeah, I'll
be like what the fuck?
I thought it was supposed tohappen here later.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, I don't have that problem either.
Though I don't look, I don'tcut, as you see you'll cut what
my hair oh, okay, what do youthink I was talking about?
The product?
Yeah, it's pure.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
Pure Cocaina Shit is specified.
He said he got that blue, magicgreen.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
He got the George Bush.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
That's not true Shit.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay, oh, what's up?
She know what you're doing, Noteven the kids.
You got the George Bush.
Did you say the?

Speaker 2 (22:07):
George Bush yes, I was just like.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Oh, we talking about old Second term.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Nothing daddy oh shit , yeah, that's so what age?
Both yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
I went bald at like 28, 29.
I said, fuck it, cut it off.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
What's the most embarrassing thing?
Your body started doing thatyou thought only happened to old
white guys.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
To old white guys A shirt.
That's, yes, most embarrassing.
Fuck you said shirt.
That's, yes, most embarrassingfuck he said shirt.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
I don't know if it's the old white guy, but I do this
thing now where my fucking kneejust randomly decided they
don't want to work no more, andI have to catch myself from
falling.
I will say, nigga, I almostfell off the treadmill two days
ago, oh man, because I wasn'tpaying attention and I stepped
off to the side and so my footwasn't on the and I said ooh

(23:22):
shit.
And the girl next to me waslike you, okay?
I said no, not no more, becauseyou noticed it.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
I'll say, especially with playing basketball, it's
rhythm.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
You lost your rhythm.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I lost my rhythm, like you know, like with
basketball you get a certain.
You lost your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your,
your, your, your, your, youryour like the rhythm was
momentum based so, like Iremember, there's been times
where I made a move.
I was like nigga, that that had,that had no black in it like it
was, oh okay it just like that,no black, and I remember I

(24:00):
missed up and it's like you endup fucking like hyper, extending
your knee or some shit.
You're like they had no rhythmand I don't even know why you
try to make that move, see likewhen you said that, that in my
head I pictured you just goingdown the court.
So yeah, it's, that's the.
Yeah, that would be it.

(24:22):
The rhythm-based things is likeyou know, because you think you
know you always got rhythm andthen that happens, so now you
just get to your spot yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Speaking of speaking of rhythm.
This has nothing to do with thepodcast, but it has been
confirmed that Cool Runnings 2is coming out.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
I'm going to say why.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
Feel the rhythm.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Is it the same?

Speaker 3 (24:44):
cast.
Well, no, the one guy is dead,but I think all the black guys
are coming back.
But why?

Speaker 1 (24:51):
I don't know that was .
Wasn't that a true story?

Speaker 3 (24:54):
What are we going to talk about now?
I guess their life afterwinning.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
The Jamaican bobsled team.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
I don't know their life after winning, I don't know
.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I just hope the motherfuckers look like they're
egg.
It just tells me that theydon't have anything else to
create.
They don't Recycle, they justkeep like on shit.
Is there a moment when youcaught yourself saying kids
these days and felt like youwere really turning into your
parents?

Speaker 3 (25:19):
oh, nigga, yeah, for the last eight years yes yes
daily.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
yes, I wouldn't say I .
I feel like I'm turning into mydad, I feel like I turn into
older friends and or like I mean, maurice, you have an old soul.
So I catch myself saying lastshit you said to me five years
ago Now, man, fuck these kidsand you're like oh my God.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
I never would have said that before.
Yeah man, Fuck them kids.
You're going to learn today,goddammit.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
So I guess yeah, because he has an old soul,
you're going to keep your assinside or outside.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
You're going to be doing goddamn both.
Pick a goddamn struggle.
I tell my kid that every day,pick a struggle.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
That never works, pick.
I've been trying to tell himthat God damn it.
Stay outside All right, stayinside you want to.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
I just started locking.
I'm going to lock your ass inor out.
Come on, alarm off, becausethis goddamn alarm go off,
you'll beat your ass, we ain'tdoing that you know you can put
the alarm on stay.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
No, I didn't say when , oh shit.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Oh yes, thunder.
Oh yeah, there's a thunder,thunder, Goddamn.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
It doesn't rain in Southern Cali.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
That's a lot A bullshit.
That's a lot A bullshit, abullshit.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
No, I didn't have an age, it just that shit.
It started a long time.
Well shit, I went to the Navyat 25 with a bunch of
18-year-olds.
I fucking think I fell.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yeah that's true.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
So what's your go-to excuse for not going out?
Because you're too tired, eventhough you really just want to
flex and chill.
I'm broke, Hulu and you.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
I ain't got it.
I ain't got it.
I work graveyard.
I got something new tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, it's easy.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
I can wake up.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
Like what you got to do tomorrow.
I got something important to do.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Then my wife will be like what we doing.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Nothing.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Not a like what we doing nothing, not a damn thing.
My usual go-to excuse is I doenough driving at work.
Yeah, so that ends up being mylike get out of jail, whatever
it's like, I do enough drivingto work.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
I ain't trying to they don't get that shit.
When you drive all day, you'relike I don't want to like.
A pet peeve of mine is don'task me to stop nowhere on the
goddamn way home.
I demand enough stops today.
Yeah, don't ask me to stopnowhere on the goddamn way home.
I done made enough stops today.
Yeah, don't ask me to stopnowhere else.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Because you already know, you start calculating how
long this trip was going to take, so it could be a 20 or 30
minute drive home If I got tostop somewhere.
Now it's an hour and a halfbecause I got to go in here find
the thing get in line, dealwith the public.

(27:56):
Yeah, yeah, fuck that I still bedriving.
Yeah, we're driving a lot.
I can't like my, as I do toomuch driving.
And then, like you, the roadrage, the cutoff, the, the
trying to get somewhere on time,sitting in traffic, looking at
people and you constantly say,like, like, when we're talking
dirty birdie, the constant shitof what the fuck is wrong with
these people, what the fuck areyou doing?

Speaker 3 (28:13):
They are.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
I think, because I can't drive a certain speed in
my car at work.
So then I'll get off work andbe like, yeah, I'm about to go
gun it.
Yeah, damn, that was a strike.
I might be staying here all day.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
Anyway, what's the weirdest thing you tried to do
to stay young and how did itbackfire?

Speaker 3 (28:38):
play basketball as my wife was out there trying to be
athletic.
At my big age, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
I feel like every time I think of trying to be
young, it's like nigga, youain't young.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
I'll say in the bathroom I do certain dance
moves.
I'll be like, let me try it.
And I'm like, ooh, shit, Iain't built that way, but it's
usually dance moves.
I'll be like, nigga, this shitdon't look that hard.
And you'd be like mm-mm.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
I think anytime I stay up past 1030, I'm like what
are you doing?
This shit's funny.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Go to bed Because this dude in my class he's a
little older than me, but Idon't think he realized what he
did and I was like nigga, youcan't do that.
I should have told him that.
Because he just handed me somebutterscotch.
I was like nigga, you ain'tthat old.
Like he had the little toffeesin his pocket, I was like I
don't think he's like joking,he's like dead ass, he just

(29:39):
likes them.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Mm-mm.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Mm-mm.
Oh Lord, that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
How many times a day do you find yourself saying back
in my day, without evenrealizing it, If I was talking
to my kid all the time, all daylong.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, I got a 16-year-old, so I'd be yeah, a
lot.
You know, I had a job at yourage.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
That thunder got one more time.
Shit.
I'm hearing the rumble.
I felt like the ground.
I'm like god damn, it's gonnakeep going.
Yeah, like shit back up, shit.
I say that shit so constant.
Now though, back in my day, butlike it's usually trying to get

(30:24):
my kids to understand, likethey got it good, so like
they'll be like oh my god, wehave to walk home.
I'm like, well, back in my daythey don't understand how good,
it was a, it was a treat just tohave my dad pick me up period,
let alone I only have to walktwo or days or three days out of

(30:45):
the week, like I don't thinkthey understand that.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Uh, getting up at seven could be getting up at.
You got to leave at seven towalk.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
I remember some of those walks.
I was like what the fuck?
What are they doing?
That was across the town.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
And yeah, that's.
I say it all the time.
I said shit, what my dad usedto allow me to do I would never
allow my kids to do, because Isaid I could have been abducted.
Circumstance, the way thesemotherfuckers driving, I could
have got hit.
And then somebody be like ohshit, hit that little black kid,
gotta go.
Internet wasn't a thing.
City bus.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Shit, I told my dog Tom.
I said we used to ride ourbikes 10, 15, 20 miles from home
.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Well, yeah, I'm not letting you do that, though.
That shit's over.
No, no, no Hell nah Don't evenget that in your brain.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
We on a whole other side of the city and two cities
over doing some random shit andthen trying to leave there by 4
to make it back before the sungo down.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
That's because we didn't have GPS on us.
We was getting ass whoopings.
What was that?

Speaker 2 (31:53):
I?
What was that?
I'm going to be down the street.
I'm not down the street.
When did you start noticingthat the party crowd shifted
from clubs to cookouts, and whyis that the truth?

Speaker 3 (32:00):
For me it was at 16.
Because I've only been to, Itried to club maybe like twice
in my 20s Like this ain't for me.
It's too loud in here.
I was with my wife still, so Iwasn't looking for no bitches.
There was nothing for me in theclub, it was just irritating.
At least at the cookout.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
I got good food.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
For me probably 36.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Not even 30, because I still I mean, I still enjoy
the club sometimes, but not much.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
I can do a comedy club, I can't do, no, actual
club.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
But I think probably like 30.
It's supposed to be rapid fire,but Sorry.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
No, I'm just saying, I'm thinking about my answer and
I was like nigga, this is goingto be long-winded Now there's
instances where I should haverealized it Then.
It wasn't for you.
Then I didn't.
I've said this on this podcast.
There was a time where I was inthe club young, and I guess it
was because I went to the clubafter working at UPS in a

(33:04):
warehouse and my arm wasprobably tired.
So you know, one of them dancemoves, you pick the girl up to
freak and I almost dropped herand paralyzed her and that
should have been the moment andI realized that maybe this shit
ain't for me.
Then it was a chick.
Another time it was a reallybig like.
She was like 6'2", 250.
Off the other tree, huh she wasthick and she was grinding on me

(33:27):
and my entire lap was wet.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
And I remember thinking all this and I'm like I
think she ended up leaving withsome like much, much tinier guy
and I was like this isn't forme, like because I remember it
was like so maybe I got the theball rolling for there.
Yeah, you hooked him up, yeah.
So I was like I I left blueball.

(33:51):
I don't Like it wasn't for me.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
You made me remember a time in the club, like I don't
know why I did this, but Iremember that it wasn't a full
dance floor, so I was like fuckit, I'm a run, and I just
sprinted around the dance floorand then the strobe lights came
on and I was like oh shit.
And then I just felt bad and Ijust ran some girl shit who's on

(34:16):
the ground, like what the fuckare you doing?
I was like my bad I should notbeen doing.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
I will say I have been known in my 30s to enjoy a
jazz lounge.
I'll go to a lounge.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
I ain't gonna go goddamn club I don't like being
like in close proximity with alot of people.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah, I mean, it took a long time to realize that if
I do it, I gotta, I gotta getmyself in that mode and it's.
If I go in that mode, it's,it's.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
But in the words.
It's a different nick in thewords of big mike in the wood.
The power of a booty is uhit'll make you forget some shit,
because I I really don't likebeing in big crowds, but like
you would ignore that.
Because you're like, damn, lookat her, look at her.
But then you're like nick, Ireally hate crowd like, but you

(34:59):
don't think about it when you'rehorny.
So all righty, uh, what's themost hilarious misunderstanding
you've had with youngergenerations about slang or
technology?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
these motherfuckers don't have no idea what a rotary
phone is.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Slang, I feel like, and they think that pound is
hashtag yeah.
I mean, it is now.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
You gotta give it to them.
Nah, it's not.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Or the statement about you you were alive before
Google and you have to go, yeahyeah yeah, I was, before we
didn't have google I feel like,uh, I had a conversation, star
69, and they were like what thefuck is that?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
it's a long conversation or that like now,
like rotary phones, when youhear people talk about them it's
like a trend to do like, oh,you know, we're gonna do some
old school shit and you likerotary well, I mean, that is
cause I used to.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
I was nigga, I was an asshole at like 30 something at
people at Knott's Berry Farm.
Oh, I bet you, when you wasliving you lived in black and
white back in your day have you,have you, uh?

Speaker 3 (36:15):
have your kids ever seen a dvd?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
yeah, they have because that like like at the
the black panther, like I boughtthe the collector's edition one
and they like anytime the powerhas went out all right, the
internet's off, or theinternet's off.
We we're watching Black Panther.
We're going to watch that shitlike five times in a row.
Hey, we repeat.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
What we got VHS.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
They don't know what VHS is.
We ain't got no fucking VHSplayer.
Yeah, I remember feeling proudas fuck having shit recorded on
VHS.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Now I want to get one , because there's old tapes
where you're like, oh, I got tosee that, but how am I going to
watch that?

Speaker 2 (36:57):
That's fucking tripped.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Times fucking change Rapidly.
So, we started with organtripping.
What's the?

Speaker 2 (37:08):
one thing you miss about being younger that your
joints definitely do not.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
I just miss having a meniscus.
Yeah, that is nice.
Your joints don't definitely donot.
I just miss having a meniscusyeah, that is nice.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
I don't have one anymore.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
So if I can get that back, I appreciate it standing
up quickly okay I wish I couldget off the ground fast, like
the fucked up thing is I can'teven lay on the ground fast.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
The fucked up thing is I can't even lay on the
ground for long periods of timeafter my accident.
So after my motorcycle accidentwhere I wouldn't air whatever.
So I tried to change the oiland I was under there unscrewing
the filter and I literally wasgetting vertigo and I was like I
gotta get the fuck up becauseI'm about to get stuck.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
I do that with scrolling on my phone.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
You get vertigo.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
I get dizzy.
I'm like nigga, you need toslow down.
I can't scroll this fast.
Like what the fuck is going on?
I used to ride rollercoasterslike nothing.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
This is causing me this shit.
That's the crazy part.
I can ride a rollercoaster, butI can't lay flat.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Damn, damn, that is nuts.
That's crazy.
Yeah, all right, being drunk.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Last rapid fire question um, describe the first
time you tried to use tiktok andhow long it took before you
threw your phone in frustrationI never threw my phone in
frustration and, uh, I usedtiktok for a long without an
account and then eventually theymade you get an account and I
didn't like that.
I watched it a lot and then Itried to do one an account.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
And I didn't like that.
I watched it a lot and then Itried to do one and I was like I
don't, I don't know what thefuck I'm doing.
I was like oh, you could.
So this is a picture like oh,so I got to hope, I don't know
what else.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Hey can you show me?
I just't, I still haven'tfigured it out.
I just, that's just my old self, though.
I just this isn't.
No, I can't, it's not working,all right.
So I decided that we're gonnago with laughter today, all

(39:07):
right, okay, y'all good.
Y'all good with that, gucci,all right.
So I have these realizationssometimes and these questions
came from that.
So if you woke up and you weresuddenly Barack Obama for a day,
what's your first move?

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Yeah, I thought about this.
I can't answer it.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Why Is it that bad?

Speaker 3 (39:35):
No, I just want to keep my beard together.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Oh I mean, but you're Barak.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Michelle, I mean he changed the whole definition of
freakier Friday.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
That's forgotten First thing, out of the Jim Lee.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
Curtis.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I'm going to ask to fly Air Force One.
Yeah, again, no to fly it.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
So you keep Secret Service for the rest of your
life, right, or something?

Speaker 1 (40:09):
like that.
Yeah, you keep it.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
I'll probably fuck with them, like what do you?
Mean have them do some randomshit, just get them to start
running and they got.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
They chasing you.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Mr President, stop, stop, catch up, nigga so I need
you to pick up my pet.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
What I'm sorry, what I think it also depends on what
time of the year it Brock.
I'm definitely calling infavors against CoreSite Seed
somewhere.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
I mean, yeah, you ain't got to call no favors,
just tell I'll be in town.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Or I'll say some, I'll say the boldest shit to see
if they're actually going totake a bullet.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
So I'll be like say Drake, yeah, see, I'm weird,
I've been petty as shit withthat.
Anyway, alright, say TylerPerry calls you and says he
wants you to be the new Madeafor the next movie.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
say your best Madea line get the fuck off my phone
and I mean, don't call me Tyler.
I don't mean, no damn Madea.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I yeah, you wouldn't be Madea for no, 5 mil, no, 6
mil, no, 7 mil, no, 50 mil.
Now we talking, I was like sofar, I was like nigga, you lying
.
I was like call some point.
I was like nigga, you lying.
I was like call the po-po-ho,that's my, that's my Medea line.

(41:37):
There we go call the po-po-ho.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Oh yeah, this freaks off the leash, yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah, that's so you my favoriteMedea line is peace be still.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Peace is made of still, and then she pulls the
gun out no, yeah, yeah, yeah,but what's your line gonna be?
That's what I'm gonna sayyou're gonna take the real
Medea's line.
Yeah, nah, I ain't going toNothing.
No, that's it.
Don't mess with what's good heythis cuda All right.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
So say you're in the barbershop and someone skips you
in the line.
How do you handle this shitcreatively?

Speaker 3 (42:25):
Hey, play, I was next , but your hair fucked up, Go
ahead.
I don't think you can fix thatline.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
Creatively.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
It depends, though, for me.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Cuts the line.
I haven't been in a barbershopin so long Because I feel like
I'm gonna have an appointmentthat's how it works, yeah but I
guess, if you you cut my line Idon't know I feel like maybe
I'll uber eat something to theto the, to the chair?
I don't know.
I ain't fighting a nigga ifthis is circumstance based.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
but if someone cut the line and I knew they never
the barber that I was using andI would do some shit like, ooh,
you sure, you sure, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Nigga like that's funny.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
That's good.
I mean you sure All right man,go ahead play it.
You like wait, man, go aheadplay it you're like wait, you're
gonna fuck my shit up.
I mean, if you you know what?

Speaker 1 (43:31):
the I wouldn't sit there, but the part about that
is like you know what, I'll wait, alright cool gotcha.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, I can see that that's how I would handle it,
like ooh shit what's the saying?

Speaker 3 (43:47):
you never sit in the first nigga chair yeah, I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
You just gotta make sure if they've been there
before.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
If they've never been , that's how you use that shit
if the nigga by the window don'tsit in that chair, yeah, don't
sit in that first nigga chair.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
There's a reason why the new barber's a new barber.
He ain't proved himself yet, soso um, so you're at.
Someone brings potato saladwith raisins.
What's your reaction and whatdo you say?

Speaker 3 (44:15):
I just leave.
That's disrespectful.
Nothing I say what the fuck?
Just walk.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Nothing.
I'm not going to say nothing tothem, Like at all.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
So, all right, Not even hello.
I'm going to double down.
What if they're black and theydid this Offense?

Speaker 3 (44:31):
You know, all skinfolk ain't kinfolk, you know
.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Nothing, ain't nobody why you got raisins, sweet and
potatoes.
They make those, god made thoseEverything.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
All I'm telling my mind is Eddie Griffin and
Undercover Brother.
Hey there.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
I'll take a sandwich.
Extra mayo, extra mayo.
Moving to the back of the tripAin't nobody in this shit.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
That's probably what I said.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Was it Michael Bolton's thong song?
He got all the whatever thatCisco missed.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
I think that's what he said.
He said it's Michael Bolton'sthong song.
All right, you hit the lottofor 100 mil, right?
But you can only tell oneperson who is it and how do you
break the news?

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Tell my dog.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
The dog.
Tell the person.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Yeah, tell the person , I'm going to tell the dog.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Well, if we can do that, I'm gonna go in the
bathroom and tell Bloody Mary.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Were you screaming in there.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Hey look, bitch, we hit it sounds celebratory.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Nah, I just.
I was passing the kidney stone.
Don't pay attention to the loudscreams.
Fuck yeah, I'm done,motherfucker, ignore all that.
That was me venting about thiskidney stone.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
Because the cold part about my wife she never take
the bank account.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
There would be signs, there would be signs.
There would be signs, Iwouldn't have to say shit.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
You know what it is?
Just shh.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
It's like you going to work today, oh, I'm going to
work.
No, they were like oh damn, youseem to be very like you
usually let things stress youout at work.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I'm good I'm leaving like hours early.
No, I'm leaving like hoursearly.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
Like you know what I'm, I'm just going in long
enough to keep the insurance youknow what I can't do this today
, the fuck I gotta go.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
Good morning, you know what that's too much.
You know what you don't saygood morning like that.
It's best that I not be heretoday.
I felt all the hostility inthat good morning.
You know what fuck that, whattime is?

Speaker 3 (47:08):
that say damn that's great.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
And I say tell the dog, kevin, because the dog can
the hostility in that.
Good morning.
You know what Fuck that.
What time does that say Damnthat's great.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
And I say tell the dog, Kevin, because a dog can't
tell nobody else.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
No, I know, I get it, so it's our secret.
He said person.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Yeah, you weren't straight to a dog.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
I was like, like my wife says, I'm one of the few
people she knows that I talk todogs like they're human, because
they understand.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Oh yeah, rocky understands, dean understands.
Now after I put in the headlock.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Hey, but wouldn't that be fun if the dog switched
up on you Start talking.
He's like hey got this 100 mils.
Like well, nigga this food Igot, it ain't really been
hitting, I didn't want to sayshit, because I knew how your
finances was.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
But now I know you got it.
Now I know you got it.
I'm going to expect filetmignon, my nigga, like it better
happen or I will snitch Likewait what Like damn my dog got
me.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Shit, I wouldn't even do nothing, crazy man, I'd just
move, I'd be it.
I wouldn't even do nothing,crazy man, I'd just move, I'd be
at.
I'd keep an old car to drive towork and an old car, not the
new shit, I'd drive to new shitwith my girl.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
You uh what you mean, you wouldn't do nothing, crazy
I don't know Like I ain't.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
Where you moving Like around the corner, the brand
new house.
I don't need a big ass house.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
I would do what I saw a lot of motherfuckers in
Menifee do.
They bought that piece of landand built this big ass compound
on it and you're looking at themlike nigga.
There's a house on Menifee RoadIf you drive.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
Nigga, if I have, if I would, it's a big ass house it
.
Oh, this nigga here.
Yeah, I got a hundred million.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
I live a little longer.
Yeah, just go right here.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
It's in the middle of nowhere and it's just on a big
piece of land and you got a fullbasketball court.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
My only issue with that is I don't want satellite
internet, so I got to besomewhere where I can get some
fiber lines.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I'm pretty sure, because it's not in the middle
of nowhere, it's just where ititself.
They just bought a land in themiddle of.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
You got 100 mil.
I think you can.
I don't want this outletconnection.
I think you can figure it outto get some good fiber wherever
the fuck you.
Hey Frontier, my nigga oh yeah,we got you Say hello, I think
they'll show up.
You're like hey look, I knowyou got better.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
So we're going to have this platinum package that
we've never offered anyone,unless you know.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
The man cave would be spectacular and it's going to
be off of the house.
You're going to have to leavethe house and go find me.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
That's more.
That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
That's not crazy, that's not crazy.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
I got a man cave house Over there.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
It's a one bedroom, one bath with a kitchenette.
I go home one night, I freakwith my man.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
That Marquise dude or cooking with.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
Keese.
Hey bro, how much for a week.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
I said hey, my nigga, I grew up on White Castle,
right, Figure it out, make itwork for me.
You feel me when I come backhere, little sliders, you ain't
leaving until Low carb, lowcalorie.
Nigga, you got me Like allright, you ain't leaving until
the recipe is done.

(50:25):
When I feel like it's correct,I will give you the key to
unlock yourself, so the policepull you over.
Key to unlock yourself, so thepolice pull you over for driving
too smooth.
What's your excuse?

Speaker 3 (50:37):
I didn't want to spill my yak.
I can't be in the corners likethat.
I can't spill my yak.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Damn man.
So you going to jail?
This car is awesome.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
This car is awesome.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
You want to go for a ride?
Nigga, let's go.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Too smooth is a wild.
I don't think I know how toanswer the question.
I'm like I'm driving too smooth.
I think you should give me areward for driving too.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
Driving too smooth yeah, I don't even know what
that is.
What is that like?
Do I say it's like I can't?
I just drive like this so youniggas never know what to do
next, like shit, put my left onand turn right.
See how slick that was I see alot of people doing that shit.
That'd be pissing me off.
Welcome to my life.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
So you're stuck in a group chat where everyone
replies with Kiki Palmer giftsonly.
How do you get your pointacross?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
I'm leaving, yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
I was like can we not leave the group?
I'm going to be out of thatgroup chat.
Can we not leave the group?
I'm gonna be out of that group.
Can we not leave the group shitmight as well have been.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
I'm gonna tell my auntie maybe I'll send pictures
of usher, yeah what's that?

Speaker 3 (52:01):
what's that movie from that?
That ghost movie that she wasin with old boy, the horror
movie where she was holding thebody.
I'll probably send that oneback, but this will do for y'all
if I don't be like so you'rejust gonna throw like stop
texting me, y'all just got kikifucked up, oh lord or uh, what

(52:25):
was the other one?

Speaker 2 (52:25):
was it nope or up or no?
It nope, right, I thought shewas.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
I thought she was.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
The sister.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
Nope, oh.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Alright.
So you're on a fake date with acelebrity crush, but you can
only speak in song lyrics.
Go.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
A fake date.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
Yeah, I don't see nothing wrong.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
My celebrity crush?
Yeah, I don't see that wrong.
My celebrity crush?
Yeah, I don't see that wrong.
I'm not going to sing that one,I'm going to give her H-Town.
I want to freak you.
Oh no, that's Jodeci, my badH-Town's knocking the boots.
Yeah, knocking the boots,that's fine too.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Is there any more room?

Speaker 3 (53:10):
for me in those jeans .

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Just don't do none of the dances currently it's going
to be at SeaWorld soon.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
I would love to go to that one.
Yeah, he's going to be theresoon.
I would have liked to go to theFat Joe and the Ying Yang Twins
one.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
They were there.
What about Trina oh?

Speaker 2 (53:32):
shit, no, just no.
Just.
I I mean yeah, trina, fordifferent reasons, but it's uh,
no for that, because the thevideos and clips I saw it made
me laugh though those ones.
That's why I wish I could havebeen, especially in yin yang 21.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
I was like this is wild, like seeing people's
reaction I was like this is forkids this is a kids part.
This nigga's about to pass out.
I just want to see if genuinefalls in the water yeah, I just
with that head, he might oohshit, don't that genuine?

Speaker 2 (54:04):
come on, you're trapped in a soul train line and
have to impress with anoriginal dance move.
Describe your move.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
It's not that original.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
I'm just going to walk through.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
I'm going to do the washing machine or the sprinkler
.
No, the washing machine, it'sthe tumble, the tumble.
Just throw your hands like ajellyfish.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
I will do my own variation of the moonwalk, which
is called dust.
I'm not going to be able to getany kind of walking off.
It's called the dust scoopbecause I'm going to be tripping
on my feet and I'm not going toactually be able to get to the
line.
They're going to feel bad andthey're just going to let me out
of the line.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
I think I'm going to mix the floss with the carton
dance.
Wow, I'm going to mix the flosswith the cartoon dance.
Yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Or why don't?

Speaker 3 (54:53):
you do the.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Rick Ross.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
The original, the vigorous.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
No man, I'm going to get you kicked off the show.
Oh no, Then if you're throwingit, then and they'll be like you
know what.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Get the fuck out of here.
I'm off the line.

Speaker 3 (55:10):
Or do that?
Do that the shit Cat Williamsdid at the McDonald's?
Oh, the every day.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
No, the Rick Ross moonwalk.
Remember that he didn't try.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
It's because he had Reeboks on and he was trying to
do it.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
In a video.
So I'm going to test you guyswith Simon.
It's because he had Reeboks onand he was trying to do it
Alright In a video.
So I'm going to test you guyswith an assignment.
It's too, hard.
Create an all-time black sitcomfamily.
Who's your dad?
Who's your mom?
Sibling, best friend andneighbor.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Okay, it's actually ain't that hard.
Okay, so the dad is Uncle Phil,right, the mom is going to be.
It's actually ain't that hard,okay.
So the dad is Uncle Phil, allfor it.
Right, the mom is going to bethe mom from Sister.
Sister Lisa.
No from Sister.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Sister.
Is that her name?
Yeah, Lisa Jack A.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Yeah, right, that's the mom.
My sibling is going to be Urkel, urkel, urkel.
Okay, and then my best friendwould be.
I'd probably say, yeah, tia,and Tamara's brother, smart guy

(56:28):
the little big ear motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Yeah, smart guy okay or junior ear motherfucker.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
Yeah, smart guy, okay , yeah, okay, our junior from my
wife and kids okay, okay we'llbe in some shit we're going all
stars.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with rock as the dad.
The rock, the rock, rock okayrock, okay.
And then the mom I'm gonna gowith uh, damn, what's the name
of that show.
And then the mom I'm gonna gowith uh, damn, what's the name
of that show.
What's the?
You know?
Uh, blackish to the grandma, orthe mom, oh, jennifer Lewis.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Jennifer Lewis.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
I got to meet Jennifer Lewis.
Some person chill person.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
She's funny as fuck.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I saw her.
I recognize her because I saw,I heard her voice first, because
I was her voice first, becauseI was like sitting there and she
was like yeah, Kobe.
I said that voice sounds oddlyfamiliar and I'm in the
nosebleeds.
I'm like nah, I look over.
I said it's fucking JenniferLewis and she was just sitting
in the nosebleeds.
She's chilling.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
That's dope.
Where was I at Sibling Sibling?
Yeah, this is where it getsinteresting.
Lunel as a sibling Sibling, yep, that should be entertaining
Yep the neighbor.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
Are you already on huh?

Speaker 1 (57:41):
The neighbor is going to be Dave Dave Chappelle,
because that's going to be ahell of a neighbor, yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:48):
I don't think he's going to bother you.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
I don't think he's gonna bother you.
I don't think he's gonna sayfunny, you're never gonna know
what he's gonna do.
He's gonna say funny quirkslike hey, nigga.
Well, every once in a whilehe'll do the wilson and we're
gonna spice it up.
We're gonna spice it up withthe friend, with the friend.
This is, this is gonna make it.
Let's dull it down a little bit.
I'm taking al borland.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
That's the homie it's a black sitcom.
Oh, it's black well he's, he'sadjacent he's, he's, you know
adjacent.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
He got a little, he got a little, he got that.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
He make the flannel every, every black sitcom had
that one white person.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
That's yeah only a nigga could make some shit look
good.
That's the spice up All rightlet's see.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
It's for the black sitcom for me, so I actually did
like the dad from smart guy.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Uh, it was more relatable to me because I you
know, he was a single fatherLike it.
It was more related to me.
But, uh, the dad from a smartguy.
Um, the mom.
I liked the original Aunt Viv.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Yeah, what else Shit when?
God damn it.
Dark skin Mom sibling, sibling,fuck Sibling.
Yeah, fuck sibling.

(59:28):
Yeah, it's gonna be mainlysmart guy, because I like Jason
Weaver that's a good one and thebest friend would be Omar.
Then it goes funny as fuck tome as the best friend.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
So as long as he'll be smart, omar was.
He was the friend.
Your brother is smart as fuckto me as the best friend, so as
long as he'll be smart, omar was.
So you just want to be a smartguy.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
He was the friend.
Your brother is smart.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
Yeah, the big ears, yeah, okay, yeah, I was
picturing him.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
That's Omar Gooden.
Okay, oh yeah, it was Omar.
Who am I?

Speaker 3 (59:53):
picturing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
The nigga.
That's who I was thinking about.
Waldo, I couldn't think of hisname.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Yeah, I like him, but I feel like waldo would be a
funny neighbor yeah yeah, jazzis the best friend because I
could always see, I guess can we?

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
can we do a of uh older shows like like 70s right
now?
Yeah, go ahead, alright, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
For the dad I'm going George Jefferson.
For mom I'm going Thea.
Thea just likes she can cook,Wasn't all the kids, the small-A
kids on?
Thea just likes she can cook,wasn't all the the kids?

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
the small, a kids on Thea.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
I think so for a sibling.
I'm going anyway, keep goingfor a sibling, I'm going.
Jj, mr Dynamite, dynamite, bestfriend, I'm gonna go.
Michael from, also from GoodTimes, and for a neighbor I'm
going to go.
Michael from, also from GoodTimes, and for neighbor I'm
going to go.

(01:01:08):
I'm going to just take thewhole cast of Golden Girls as my
neighbors.
I feel like that'd be hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
So you brought old white woman into it Jamie Lee
Curtis.
Baby, I'm not mad at it Everytime that name was said.
I have an image in my head whatuh true lies, yeah, yeah sure
yeah, that's what we're doingsure that's what it is trading

(01:01:35):
places freak your Friday freakyour Friday interviews, she know
what she's doing yeah,absolutely, sir, that's what I'd
be yelling.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Interviews, she knows , she would know.
Yeah, absolutely Sir, dump himout.
That's where I'd be yelling.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
But sir huh.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Okay, were you going to do it, because I don't have
an old school one.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
No, I don't got one.
I was maybe Willis, that's theneighbor.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
If you could only bring three soulful dishes to
every cookout for the rest ofyour life, what would they be?

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
are we doing size domain?
Are we just doing size are wedoing?
Are the meats count?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
meats count damn fuck , why you gumbo?

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
that's.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
That's a cheat code yeah, fuck it, I'm trying to, if
I could only bring three.
You know what I like red beansand rice.
That's two.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
I know they go together.
I'm gonna text my wife makesome god damn red beans and rice
.
You know what?

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
damn.
Is that in the same vein?
Cause I fuck with these.
Uh, uh, the black guy piece,but I don't know if that's too
close to the.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
I don't like to the uh, with or without fergie well,
if we're talking monetizationwith fergie I just want to take
this time to say shout out tonelly for talking about she got
thicker.
That's why I'm shouting her out.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
I mean, she's been thick for a while but she got
thicker.
I'm not mad at it either way.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Wait, could you meet me halfway?
I know that's Fergie.
Yeah, yeah, hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Oh, this is hard.
Okay, number one for me isgoing to be yams.
I love yams, can?
Number one for me is going tobe yams.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
I love yams.
Can you get to the yams who?

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
don't Fuck, I'm going to have to go greens number two
, because I do love some greens.
I'm going to have to get a meatpause in there.
Big meat yeah, probably goingto go beef ribs is on me.

(01:03:49):
I'm gonna let that go why wetalking about brisket or what
nah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
I don't know mac and cheese.
Mac and cheese well, yeah, noshit, depending on who makes it
the cornbread mac and cheese?

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
well, yeah, no shit, depending on who makes it the
cornbread it's kinda hard tofuck up cornbread.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Well, you making it, you bringing it no, fucking up
cornbread fucking up cornbread?
Did they try to do it fromscratch and didn't put nothing
in it?

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
it's not that hard to fuck up cornbread.
And this is gonna be differentbecause it's not that hard to
fuck up cornbread.
And this is going to bedifferent because it's not at
the soul food but it speaks tomy soul.
Niggas, Carne, asada.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
As long as you didn't say like quinoa.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
No carne asada, nigga .
It might not be soul food, butit speaks to my soul, nigga.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Just Mexican soul.
See, I felt like we should havehad like three per item.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Like three.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
Should have had like three per per item, like three
proteins, three sides.
Are you trying to bring thewhole damn table?
This ain't chipotle, nigga,this is hard.
This is a pause that you know.
I want to say fried catfish.
I do love me some fried catfishyeah, you keep that all right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
Who would you rather?
Lose your phone for a week?
Attend a family reunion withall your exes present?

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
yeah, I will attend the family reunion with all my
exes.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Further, then lose your phone, yeah damn.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
Hey, I don't think he got a long list right, it's not
and they're friendly with mywife.

Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
Hey, what up, it's not to be a bad time.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
I said I'll do it out the phone for her, because I
already know how it is thatbitch.
I got to be here for a week.
What I got to deal with thispassive-aggressive shit for a
week.
Did he do that, uh-huh?
Did he do that, uh-huh?

Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
I'd be cool with that .

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
The phone, I don't think I want to do for a whole
week.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
I think I need a break from technology anyway I
mean, yeah, that graveyard shitfor me, man it be getting rough.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
It's hard time.
I think I'll realize how much24 hours in a day really feels
like without a phone for a week,like I got that Instagram.
The past Like shit.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
I just go get a book.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
They're like like hey , let's check your screen time
this week that's true, I'mstarting to read again.
That's true, yeah you like damnman.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
I got through a lot of books that I got the key with
reading is you have to actuallyread something you enjoy or you
will fall asleep.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
I read a lot of Kobe, like the, all, the, the, the
special edition magazines andshit that I have is Kobe book.
The mama mentality he was like,this is different.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Yeah, I don't.
I don't read when I'm tired.
I learned that, and this fall.
I'll be typing emails at worksometimes and I wake up and it's
like just whatever.
I fell asleep with oh shit,that's how long I know.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
I know that's morbid.
It just popped in my head likesome people was typing out there
like typing something and likehad a heart attack or a stroke
and they just left on thatbutton.
I was like I think this is themoment when he died.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
I'm gonna go out on a limb.
What time was that last L, thatfirst L phrase?

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
time of death was, uh , when he sent this email, ain't
that?

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
how macho Am I making that up?
Did Macho man have a heartattack and hit a tree?

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
I remember somebody said that in the Navy and I was
like, is that real?
And I was like I think that'swhat happened.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
I could be wrong.
I know a lot of people's takeson Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
Oh, everyone's.
All of them hated him.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
That's when they're going to die in the house Like
God damn, no remorse, Zero fucksgiven Like shit.
Anyway, which would you pick?
Unlimited free haircuts forlife or unlimited free Jordans?
But they can only be white onwhite.

Speaker 3 (01:08:27):
I guess I'm going to take the Jordans.
I can't use them.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
I don't know.
They can make you stay lookinglike Shaft for the rest of your
life, and then they keep yourbeard.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
What about the beard?

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
That's a part of haircut too.
I mean pause.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
That's a pause.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
Yeah, I, I mean pause , that's a pause yeah, I
shouldn't have said that I'lljust take the Jordans.
I can resell those this is true.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
I'm gonna go with the haircuts I'm gonna go with the
haircuts too.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
I know how much they cost.
I was like I don't rock Jordanslike that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I've been wearing the same pair of Jordans on this
podcast for about a year now, ora year and a half.
I don't feel any.
I should get another pair.
No, I shouldn't.
I got this with a firm, so Like.

Speaker 1 (01:09:17):
Hey, that's all about my truck, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Just hey man.

Speaker 3 (01:09:23):
It is what it is.
We're going to charge you$3,000 every two weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:09:28):
If a nigga can do a firm on a car, it will be over.

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
Over.
I just still think it's crazythat you can buy a car on Amazon
.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
That's a surprise.
You can buy a casket at Costco.
That's the craziest shit in theworld to me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
That's like a tongue twister.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Yeah, a whole ass casket.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
Say that shit three times fast.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
I don't Nah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Casket at Costco.
The casket at Costco, All right.
Who would you trust to save youin a crisis?
Uncle Phil Pops from the WayansBros oh shit, I didn't even
think about that.
Or Monique From the Parkers?

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
I think I think you in good hands With all three.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
It don't really matter.
I was almost Said hell, no WithPops, but then I remember how
many times he came through forthem.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
Nah Pops came through for him.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
He came through for him All the time.
And if all else fails, thatbelt came and then just to see
the, the yeah boy yeah, I thinkI'm gonna go, uncle Phil.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
I'm still going, uncle Phil just cause I always
think about the damn when itcame in with that pool stick it
was like oh, nigga stick, I'msweet and the resources.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
What did?

Speaker 3 (01:10:35):
he say, was it?
Was it Dorothy Jeffrey?
Break off Dorothy.
I said damn, yeah, he's a judgehe played him good too, with
that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
Rest in peace yeah, yeah, he might be able to get
niggas killed.
Yeah, I shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
Yeah, but fuck it, let's be real and we're talking
uncle phil from the, fucking thedrama one nigga.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Oh yeah, yeah hey, will, what'd you get into?
I got a couple buddies in thelapd that can get that nigga
different.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
That one was like, yeah, I think he's for sure
probably had somebody killed,especially that Jeffrey on Shit.
I said this nigga got acheckered past.
I said this is a differentJeffrey than I grew up on.
Jeffrey's a little different,like he organized crime in the
UK nigga.
But yeah, so with that beingsaid, this has been episode 211

(01:11:25):
of the Heavyweight Podcast, Ihope you enjoy rocking with us,
going down memory lane andtalking about these black
situations and funny moments,because sometimes you just need
to laugh.
You feel me, until next time.

Speaker 3 (01:11:36):
Hold on real quick.
I just thought about that Forthe TV question.
Can I have just Harry fromHarry and the Hens?
Send me my neighbor, just Harry, you talking about the fucking
Sasquatch.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
I mean two inches old nigga, is it?

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
just the woods next to you, then that or our elf, I
think that would hopefully behilarious.
The elf would be eatingeverybody's cats, nigga.

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
Can they be roommates ?
I think that should behilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
I don't know.
I think that shit be hilarious.
I don't know.
I've heard.

Speaker 2 (01:12:06):
I know we joke, but I've heard nigga.
They speak of Harry.
They said that nigga smelled.
So hey, you was like niggaHarry's around.
How'd you know?

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
You can smell it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
But yeah, shout out to Des, she could not be here,
but she's here with us in spirit, always Like, subscribe, share
and comment All that shit Untilnext time.
We love you, peace, peace,goodbye.

Speaker 1 (01:12:33):
Oh, I'm sweating.
That's a wrap y'all.
That's how she wrote.
So, as I mentioned, click likesubscribe.
Tune in we on the Austrianplatform.
So.