Cookie Backpack Chronicles

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What does it really mean to carry life’s “heavyweight title”? On this introspective episode of The Heavyweight Podcast, we’re peeling back the layers on parenting, self-worth, body acceptance, and freedom—the real kind that comes from knowing yourself and standing in your truth.

🧒🏽 Protect vs. Prepare:
As parents, are we shielding our kids too much—or not enough? We dive into powerful moments where tough conversations had to be had, like explaining homelessness to a child or holding firm boundaries with loved ones. The consensus? Protection has its place, but preparation is the real gift.

🧠💪 Mental vs. Physical Peaks:
We each reflect on when we’ve felt our strongest—some recall physical greatness in the past, others are riding mental highs right now. Either way, we unpack what it means to embrace your body, respect your journey, and stop chasing someone else’s standard. One standout line: “I’m never going to be 120 pounds—and I don’t want to be.”

🕊️ When Have You Felt Most Free?
Freedom isn’t just about time or money—it’s about emotional clarity and energetic peace. From carefree childhood days to living in full alignment with your own values now, we explore the moments that made us feel truly unchained. “Anything that doesn’t match my energy? I’m out.”

🌟 What Makes You Special?
To close things out, we each reveal the qualities that set us apart and how we show up in the world. Whether it’s helping others feel seen, modeling love, or bringing laughter into every space—we’re here to remind you that your uniqueness has purpose.

This one’s part therapy session, part motivation, and 100% real talk. 💬
 🎧 Hit play now and ask yourself:
 ➡️ When have you felt most free?
➡️ What’s your “peak” season?
➡️ And what makes you unforgettable?

📲 Follow us @TheHeavyweightPodcast on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook & YouTube.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Yeah, but it's a girl .
It's not a date.
It's not a date.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
It's still a date with you, nigga, you got a
backpack.
It's a date Anytime you outwith somebody.
This ain't the backpack.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
This is a backpack.
This ain't the backpack.
The backpack is purple.
It say cookies all around it.
So you see me with the purplecookies backpack.
Because I'm trying to get thecookie when I got the cookies.
Okay.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
So many questions.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Hey, we on the podcast Ask what you got to ask,
baby.
He said ask what you got to ask.
My damn back hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Play on cookies and cream.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
But who's doing the creaming Both?

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Both Double-sided, because you don't know what to
say.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Double-sided.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Okay, I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
I don't cross my legs .

Speaker 2 (01:17):
But you know what to say.
You don't say that.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Is there a snicker noodle or?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Listen, it's whatever flavor she like, except for any
white chocolate.
I don't like that either.
It's pink.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
I just like when you got the leg on the shoulder and
you get to kiss the back of theleg.
Are you in there Period you?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
I do On the period.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Not on the period.
No, I'm not down with that.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
I don't run that, I don't park red seats nigga,
that's out the line, do you?

Speaker 4 (01:42):
You park red seats, do you Kevin?

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Kevin, you park red seats.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Kevin said get the fuck out of here, he said nigga,
just stop the episode, let's goahead and do that.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Kevin said get the fuck out of here His wife's
business period.
What's?

Speaker 4 (01:55):
that 195.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
195.
What's up, everybody?
Everybody, we're back againwith another episode of the
heavyweight podcast.
This is episode 195 yeah, yayI'm des the diva back again with
these three gentlemen and thisbeautiful guest host.
Can everybody please umintroduce yourself?
Sure I'm uh aromius funk thefuck, see what I go with.

(02:24):
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
Aromius, aromius Funk alright, I don't wanna do this
with you.
Is it smell or bed?

Speaker 1 (02:30):
no, if you will it's your boy, molito.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Molito and.
I'm an anti-social guy, mcfly.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
I like it that's cute .

Speaker 5 (02:42):
And then Miss Lady, miss Lady how were y'all weeks?

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I didn't spend too much, you know, thank god, yeah,
but little did you know.
But nah, it was a good week,real good week.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
I enjoyed it, yeah, yeah, well, cooked a little bit
and you know you'll see, you'llsee the content you'll see the
content alright, alright,alright sound good you don't see
the content, right?

Speaker 4 (03:18):
yeah, I feel old nigga.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Well, I mean the shoe fit, that's it lace the shit up
yeah, that's it why you feelold.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
It's my birthday.
How old are you?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Old enough to vote?
Oh, now he doing that.
Old enough to vote.
Well, happy birthday, you olddirty nigga.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Old ass Happy birthday.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Are you a cousin of ODB?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I wish Old dirty nigga.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
Oh shit, I'm 39.

Speaker 5 (03:50):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Okay, I'm still a baby on the podcast.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
You are the baby on the pod.
This is diabolical.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Are you the baby?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
You're the baby on the pod.
It is diabolical.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
No, I'm talking to that nigga.
She was a wizard.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Y'all gonna quit hating on DaBaby cause DaBaby
fine, this motherfucker okay,well, we ain't gonna comment.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
You got it, koopa Troopa he's probably right below
you.
I'm gonna go with it.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, he said nigga standing under the table and if
he can stand up and get down tobusiness, that's alright with me
, dababy.
Well, how was your week?

Speaker 3 (04:22):
big fly uh, last episode we talked about
generational curses, right?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
shout out to marcus right we did shout out to marcus
so our marquise depending onwhatever question I'm gonna go.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
It was because you gotta get more variety, come on,
um.
So I was walking at my parkbecause I live in the suburbs,
you know, trying to breakgenerational curses.
But, um, I was walking and Isaw a black couple and I know we
stress breaking generationalcurses, but I've had this talk
with them all At some point andI applaud them.

(04:56):
That was a dope stroller.
I appreciate showing that, youknow, black people can have
money.
But at some point they tooktheir son out of the stroller.
He's maybe, he's not, I know hewasn't maybe six months old and
they let him crawl on the grass.
And every black bell in my mindjust went what the fuck?
Every I heard a black voice ofwomen, men, and so why the fuck

(05:19):
the kid on the grass?
You know they shit on the dog,shit on the grass.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Did he have a coat on the grass?
You know they shit on the dogshit on the grass?

Speaker 1 (05:26):
that's not.
Did he have a coat on?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
no, oh, yeah, so there's certain general
additional curses that we cannotbreak.
This is one of them because, Iget that we're trying to
progress, but don't let yourkids crawl on the grass because
I'd see the dogs, that shitthere but did you say your
ancestors?

Speaker 2 (05:44):
hell yeah our ancestors were barefoot in the
bush, the baby got no coat on.
No, I was referring to the babynot having no coat on.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
No, coat no.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
And an ancestor is anybody that's gone on before
you.
So my grandma, who was here inmy 20s, who wanted a nigga to
have a coat on, is technicallyconsidered an ancestor as well.
So niggas need to put coats ontheir kids.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Wakanda, forever for sure.
But what I'm trying to say iswe gotta break these.
That one can't be broken.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
I agree it can.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
I don't.
I do it all the time you letthem walk in the shit grass.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
I did this shit, I did it.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
The shit grass.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
You know what?
You clean the shit.
You clean the doodle.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Cut the grass With the baby.
You cut the grass, you do allthat With the baby.
Yeah, man.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
That's why Not the baby?
A baby.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
A six-month-old baby that nigga ain't coming here,
okay.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Okay, I guess I stand corrected, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
I'm breaking curses.
I didn't call it.
I'm with nature.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, I definitely put the code on the baby, for
sure.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Learned something new today about Kevin.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
That can't be that shocking.
He have a very hippie-likepersonality, so it's not even as
shocking to me that you wasoutside with barefoot and you
let the kids go outside barefootbecause you got a hippie
personality like the one withnature type of yeah the earth so
you get contacted, you getconnected by putting them and I
believe you just said earth withan f.
I believe it like a motherfuckerearth bitch.

(07:14):
Okay, all right.
How was your week?
I'm on this earth, okay, I'mgood.
Earth and earth and earth andshit.
Well, I'm still here.
Um, probably would have hadthat same damn face that Gail
had had.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
I had to go out of space, but they said Gail didn't
go out of space, they was inthe basement.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Baby, yeah, baby, they was, they went somewhere.
Baby, cause them?
White women went up there theywas Gail got up there and was
like they said, oprah made herass go.
Oprah Punk time in the going.
So, oprah, if you see thisleague all along, she don't want
to do that.
Next time you take your ass andgo.
But other than that I had apretty good week let's get let's

(07:50):
get into this.
These questions were cultivatedby Kevin over here.
Who's Kevin?

Speaker 4 (07:58):
I thought that's Mr Funk.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Mr Funk, when I hit the fan, harmonious don't smell
like chitlin' grits of ham.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, bars, did you say chitlin' grits in ham?
Yeah, you don't remember thatsong.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
That sounds like a play on Dr Seuss I forgot whose
song it was.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Who made that song?
When the funk hit the fan smelllike chitlin' grits of ham.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
That was Steve Harvey .
It was a.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Steve.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
Harvey See.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Oh, from the Steve.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Harvey show Steve Harvey show yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, he definitely did he had that on the roof.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
He showed our age.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, we really did, we really did, we really did.
I'm not the same age as y'all.
You're the oldest.
I'm not the oldest.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
The Steve Harvey and the high tops yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, all right, let's get into it.
First question Are you guysturning in your kids or helping
them get away?
Let's see, are taking thecharge for your kids or
significant other, obviously ifthey do a crime?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
What do they do?
That's a good question.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
That's a good question.
That's a good question I wasthinking I was.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
I was like like if they hit somebody and they was
on a dark street like hey dad,look, I fucked up, I was like,
well, no one's there, I mightget them out of there.
They gotta live with that.
Now, if it's murder, daddyain't taking it.

(09:24):
I think I'll give him a headstart.
Though, to be honest, I think Iwould give him a head start
Cause I think I can have him runHell.
Yeah, that's my kid.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah, even if they wrong as fuck, like you wrong as
fuck.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, I'm not.
I'm not turning, nobody in.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Here's a, here's a couple bucks.
Well, maybe not, Because Idon't know if my kid's solid
like that yet.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
That little one is.
She was dead.
I got you she was the shit, thelittle one is.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
I ain't going to tell nobody, she's going to say
don't worry about it, the bodyis gone.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Paint up the mess and everything.
Interesting question what wouldy'all do paint up the mess and
everything.
That's an interesting question.
What would y'all do?
I'm not turning nobody in.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
I ain't doing no time for nobody.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I'm not, I'm not Drastically different.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
You're like I'm not turning, like I ain't going to
jail.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
I'm not going to jail , but I'm not going to turn them
in either.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
I'm not going to turn my like heinous, define heinous
, some shit, where you're like Ican't even believe my kid did
that shit I don't, I can'tbelieve it.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
So I'm gonna be in denial and I'll turn her ass up.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yeah, you asked the question for me.
I'm in denial.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
You know what she said I'm my baby.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Never I'm not trying like the dead on blow yeah, I'm
my baby.
Yeah, exactly like the dead onblow I love that movie oh my god
, it's my favorite movie.

Speaker 5 (10:44):
Brooklyn would be on a bus to Tijuana yeah and we'd
figure out communication.
But I'm not turning my kid inand, just like you guys said,
I'm not doing time for her.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
No, so I can't do time for nobody, because they
got you, got to take your hairlashes and shit out yeah, I
ain't gonna be big breath asbitch.
Yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I'm not being nobody bitch, no I'm gonna be the one
in there with the bitches.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
I'm gonna be the one in there with the bitches.
I'm not gonna be nobody, thatsounds stressful.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, no, we're having bitches.
Yeah, bitches, in jail go makemy noodles.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
I'm done I say it depends on the crime.
Oh me.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
So what's your limit?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
If it's some, like he pointed out, like heinous shit,
where you're like it was somereal foul, fucked up shit.
I don't know if I could justturn a blind eye to that.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
But what if they were defending themselves?

Speaker 3 (11:35):
If they're defending themselves, then it's different.
Now, if it's some shit wherethey literally just going on
some Jeffrey Dahmer shit andyou're like, what the fuck I
raised that, yeah, I'm probablyturning my kid in.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, we gotta get this motherfucker off the
streets.
He might eat me next, what thefuck?

Speaker 2 (11:52):
You eat niggas or rape niggas.
You gotta go.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
You gotta go.
I don't believe my child iscapable of that, so I'm not
turning her in.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
No, she's not.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Then all of a sudden, you're you're a twofer.
Yeah, okay, you in the suitcaseoh yeah, apparently they were
capable right.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
You know, if it's something heinous like that
murder.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
You eat niggas and you rape niggas, not all murder
no murder and you eat niggas.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Oh yeah, and the eating it it's kind of a part.
Yeah, it's the eating niggashungry.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
You ain't that fucking hungry nigga, niggas eat
niggas, eat crocodile every dayI'm probably more mad that you
didn't call me and ask for somemoney.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah, you that hungry yeah, you know um, everybody
answer that yeah, cool, cool,cool.
Uh, next question when and howdo you balance tough love and
nurturing love?
I think all the love need to benurturing.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
Even the tough stuff.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
I get what you're saying.
I only agree with that becauseeven the tough love you're
nurturing.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
in a way, I guess I do agree with that part.
How do you balance it?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Circum circumstantial , I don't know I've not had that
problem oh yeah, you said, youkids quiet yeah, hayden don't
talk at all he speaks.
He didn't say kids, he justsaid in general he speaks that
is true I don't tell otherpeople, kids, shit, I ain't even
gonna lie to you but he didn'tbe.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
This is a relationship too.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
This is just in life, this is people.
Oh, in relationships, how doyou balance tough love oh god,
in all relationships, not like,not just romantic.

Speaker 4 (13:29):
Oh, all of them, cause I'ma just tell you Des you
fucking up.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
It's different.
It's different In friendships.
I'ma be direct like that too.
I would appreciate you beingdirect with me as well.

Speaker 4 (13:40):
Okay, you fucking up.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, I'm not, and in relationship I'm not.
Okay, you just want to saysomething to me.
Period.
In relationships, I think itreally depends on the nigga,
because some of these niggas issensitive.
These niggas want to be the badbitch nowadays and you got to
be gentle with these niggas,like you be gentle with the
goddamn women, because specificniggas keep this, keep that, not

(14:03):
not not all niggas, not allniggas, and I'm not talking
about hating daddy.
I ain't talking about hatingdaddy, neither.

Speaker 4 (14:09):
So let me just make that clear for me, for somebody
missing me and asking me if I'mtalking about my damn husband.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
I ain't talking about that nigga, neither.
But a lot of times I youencounter men that are they.
They got tissue paper fuckingfeelings and you have to be
gentle with how you say thingsto them.
So it depends on the man.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
Some men I take a bit to that, because if say that
motherfucker can hit his limitand he's right here, you don't
want to just be like hey, nigga,toughen up and he's like he's
about to jump off the fuckingbridge.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
No, no, no, I agree.
I agree, you're absolutelycorrect.
It does depend on thecircumstances.
Well, I don't know, becausesomeone's yelling how to read
the room.
Yeah, you guys gotta know howto read the motherfucking room
yeah, situational basis.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
You gotta kind of be able to understand that
sometimes you gotta have toughlove, sometimes you have to dial
it back yeah circumstantial.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, I think it all boils down to empathy.
In my opinion, yeah, empathy inmy opinion.
Yeah, because if you learn likewe discussed that before if you
learn how to connect withpeople on that level, then you
know when to be tough.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Or when to be soft or whatever you want to call it
nurturing or anything.
To use the kids as an example.
Like Gracelyn, she's a lot, shethinks she's tough, but she's
mad sensitive, so the yellingshit actually don't work with
her.
You would think it does, but itdon't.
So it's like I try to figureout when she's doing stuff

(15:37):
that's like boiling my blood,how to like breathe and try to
approach it in different ways,because I've tried to everything
yelling, fucking, here's thethumb, here's whatever and like
I've learned a lot of times thatusing the disappointment and
stuff yeah, that's big.

(15:58):
Or uh, letting her know like Idon't like how you're doing that
it's like you're not listeningto to me and making her
understand how it makes me feel,and that seems to be more
effective.
Kendall's just mad easy.
It's cool.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
So I think, like you said, circumstantial.
To your point, kevin.
With my daughter that works.
The yelling will get herattention, but it won't move her
.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:22):
The showing her that you're disappointed.
That's when she now, if shesees you're disappointed, now
she's crying because you'redisappointed, and now she hits
you with oh my God, I'm a baddaughter, I didn't want to she
hits you with all that.
And the other thing that Inoticed that's really impactful
to her is that when I don't saynothing like there was one time

(16:43):
she had she had did somethingthat her mother told her not to
do and I didn't say nothing.
I just got up and I walked awayand then when she came out the
room, she noticed that I wasgrabbing all of her stuff out of
her room and I was justremoving it and she was looking
at it, looking at me, like whereare you taking my stuff?
And I was like, when you learnhow to respect your mother in my
household, you can earn yourstuff back.
I think I left her with liketwo Barbies and one stuffy.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
You're better than me .
I look at Grace and I'll saydon't trip.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
Just walk up and start.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
You know.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
And so and I took her TV and then I remember I had
toast money and I forgot what itwas and they're like man, I
would have just took the HDMIcord and moved the TV.
I said damn, that's right.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Because then she?

Speaker 4 (17:25):
could have saw the TV every day and know she couldn't
use it.
It's different once the TV'sthere.
So the next time I did it Ijust took the HDMI cord.
You know you'll get it backwhen you earn it back.
Like going back to what I wassaying, like last episode, like
we make her earn her stuff, thatapproach with her it's more
impactful.
It is more impactful than theyelling, because when she sees

(17:45):
that you're not emotional in themoment, she kind of she starts
to regulate her emotions becausenow she knows that energy is
not going to be matched.
I'm just going to look at youand I'm not going to talk to you
until you're done with justwhatever you got going on.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
What are these boys doing?
Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
They live in.
They have a time of their lifeEither a ball or the worst time.
All right, everybody answeredthat one.
We good Okay.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
You thought about it, think about it you did, you did
, you did.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Is it important to protect our kids from the world
or prepare them for it?

Speaker 4 (18:18):
Prepare.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Prepare, you can't protect them Prepare.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
Because when you protect them and when you're no
longer here, they're not able tostand on their own feet.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
They're expecting you to always be there to protect
them, and they're going to befor you too, living in your
basement right protection.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Ain't that a form of preparation?

Speaker 3 (18:37):
in some instances, I mean, I can see protecting them
as you prepare them, but I thinkthey would have to go hand in
hand.
Yeah, you protect them from thebullshit, you protect them from
the predators when they're youngand then you kind of show them
yeah the what's out there asit's happening, like so a
situation, you might, asituation based, you might see

(18:57):
something happening out thereand be like see, this is what
you just avoided, and kind ofgive them an idea like I have a
question since it's have any ofyour guys's kids asked you about
homeless people and the reasonI asked that?

Speaker 5 (19:11):
because we're talking about protection and preparing.
I know my daughter's asked me abunch of times why is that
person homeless, or you know,and that's why I'm just like
have any of your kids askedabout homelessness?
she's curious and we just, wealways just tell her that
they're going through a roughtime right now or they've made
some bad decision, but they'retrying to get back have you ever

(19:32):
explained to your kids yourkids like because I've told my
daughter before if you make alot of bad choices, there's a
possibly you could end up onthat side yeah, um hayden
doesn't ask those questionsbecause, as I've been in his
life since he was seven and aslong as he's known me, I'm very
much like an advocate for thehomeless community.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
so he know he's fed them, he's giving them shoes,
clothes.
He has a good understanding ofthat.
But when I do explain to him, Ido tell him that this could be
a result of making bad decisions.
But everybody out here isn't aresult of making bad decisions,
so he knows the reality of it.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
So, yeah, Kendall, don't ask you, it's not funny
you can't say it's not funny,then laugh.
She's like so what's up withthese poor people?
What are these people for?
It's like we don't know what'sgoing on.
So we try to help people, wetry to give people stuff if we

(20:30):
can, but like she, I don't know.
It's hard to explain that onebecause, like you said, not
everybody's there from just allbad decisions, like shit happens
kids often, uh, they don't likeseeing poor or like animals and
and, uh, distressed, yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
So they'll ask and they'll be like, they'll try to
empathize about what, what'sgoing on and they try to
comprehend and ask that why?
And or mom, why?
And it's just the understandingthat we don't try to tell them
not to to be like always haveconcern for your fellow person
yeah it's just sometimes you,you don't know the circumstance

(21:13):
of why they are where they are,so you try to give them a.
It could be a multitude ofthings.
They could have went, theycould have been a veteran, they
could have been this, but youdon't know.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
You just try to be polite and well, if you can give
, yeah, I think that kind ofyeah, because when we do things
like give, they notice that andlike if we go to eat or
something, they see a homelessperson.
They're like, well, are wegonna get somebody get them this
?
And like that's a tough one,because you're like we can't,
you can't feed everybody, likeyou can't help everybody.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
I don't know I just sounds insensitive, but I do say
something when I'm, when it'shonest.
It's honest when I was.
Like you know, charity startsat home first.
You can't help others if youcan't yeah, if you're not on in
a good space to help you knowyou gotta help yourself or you
can help others, kind of thing.
So if you're, they're like whycan't we just give?

(22:04):
Well, we don't, we still haveto eat too.
I understand that they're in atough spot.
What we can give, we can give.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
But yeah, when they have money in their piggy banks
they were funny because I waswas like well, daddy doesn't
have it, you got it.
Well, I got money in my piggybank.
I'm like shit.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
You do, I'll give, even if it's my last.
I can't.
Even if it's my last, I'll givebecause I have just the full
faith that God will provide.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's not your last.
That's why I look at it.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
You got to check.
You gotta check if it's my lastat that moment.
I've been days with you know,without additional funds,
because I've given my in my lapand my last.
What I don't like is behaviorhas become so accustomed to me
because I've literally taken myshoes off and giving it to
somebody and just drove homebarefoot.
He's so used to it that now hesee homeless people will be
walking in the store and y'allremember he got autism, so he'll

(22:51):
be.
Why do you do that?

Speaker 3 (22:54):
you can't make those faces, oh shit what you did the
face to her taking her shoes offmy mind.

Speaker 4 (23:01):
I was like what's?

Speaker 1 (23:01):
all the slippers.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, we'll know if they see a homeless person you
can't do that be the baddestbitch homeless person that
you'll ever see a separate.
I tell you.
I tell you all the time.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
Sometimes I don't say it, but my face says yeah, as
soon as you said shoes noparticular shoes.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
If I got on jordan's and you walking down the street
and you barefoot, I'm gonna giveyou them jordan's off my feet
what corner do you often?

Speaker 3 (23:29):
yeah, I'm about to just stand out there, I'll just
be barefoot and letitia willvouch for that.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
She'll tell you because one time I was giving
somebody I had some Crocs on orsomething.
Letitia was like them is realbitch.
You, finna, get this man Bitch,I'll give him my shoes, you
give me them Crocs.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
What day did you wear the J's?

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Any day.

Speaker 4 (23:49):
I wear a bunch of Jordans you get from china I
didn't, hell, no what.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
I got them from the malaysia, apparently.
We all got them from china.
According to my fucking china,according to china shit.
We all got it from there.
But no, I, I, I just reallyfeel like I've been blessed.
I've never been to a pointwhere I just didn't have
anything.
So if I have anything, I'mgonna give it.
I just gotten hayden soaccustomed to it that now, when

(24:13):
he see homeless people, he'd belike you you don't have no money
, hold on my bonus.
Mama got something in her purse.
She going to give you somethingright now.
And then they're just standingthere looking at me and I'm like
Hayden, shut up, bro.
Yes, yes, is this?

Speaker 1 (24:24):
everyone.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (24:26):
All the homeless.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Absolutely Figure out if they really doing the right
thing.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
Write down your cross .

Speaker 1 (24:40):
I feel you on this.
But I only ask this becausewhen I go into work, there's
this specific corner and they berotating and there's one that I
was like are you fuckingserious?
He was the only one didn't havea sign, didn't have nothing.
He just stood there and justlooked at the cars and I was
like nigga, everybody else had asign, something, you just give
me one.
I have a good, give me money.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
I have a really good discernment, that I feel like
God has blessed me with a gooddiscernment.
I know who to give to.
I hear God.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Okay, so you have a little bit.
You're used to see the I hearGod, the guy from Chicago.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
University that had to sign and says I'm not gonna
like need need money for drinksor whatever, for drinks or
whatever.
You don't remember that guy.
They used to be out there onyour worst in.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Chicago.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
I want to say that I'm giving him money because,
I'm honest, the honest dudemakes me give it to you.
Yeah, like he's honest.
I'm just trying to get drunk.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, I'm just trying to like in the sign.
I'm just honest, you're like Ifuck with it.
It's a lady in, say, wheels formoney.
I said I'm getting some moneyjust cut.
What's one of that?
It's literally when you get offthe freeway to go to Target.
Alabama, yeah, alabama.

(25:45):
And she's right there.
She got a sign, I got to goover there for work.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
You remember the one a couple of years ago, a couple
of years ago the lady that washomeless in California, but you
could tell she was veryprivileged.
She had like her nails weredone.
Oh wow, she had like implants,so she wasn't homeless for long,
like it was one of the thingswhere I don't know if she just
fell on hard time, yeah, but Iwas like somebody they're going
to.
She was only there for like aday or so.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
They got her right.
Did she have teeth?
Damn, did she have teeth, damn.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
yeah, she was young and she like it was weird.
So when everyone looked at herI was like she's like the
prettiest homeless person I'veever seen and she looked like
her nails were done everythingand I was like I don't think
she's gonna be out here for long.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yeah by the end of the night she's a better life
girl yeah, I definitely.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Um, I yeah, I definitely help everybody, even
if you're pretty and you looklike you've just been there for
a day or so.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
All right For sure I'm going to just go out there
with just this nice suit and belike, hey, today was the day.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
And if you're barefoot, I'm going to give you
my shoes I'll leave them in thecar.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
I'm going to be out there when I need some more J's
Maybe not these particular shoesI got on today, but I would
definitely use.
I don't want no patrick thatman, he's a nick, I don't.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
I don't mess with the next oh my god, his shoes are
mom, though they're socomfortable, much more
comfortable than my jordans,even though I have quite a few
patrick ewan boy I don't know,what team he played, for what he
looked.
I don't even know what the manlooked like he has really big
nostrils like a monkey big damn,is he black up.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
Is he black?

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yes, we are not going to say no, black people, look
like no fucking monkey.
We're not going to say no,black people, look like no
monkeys.
We are not going to say what weain't going to do is say the
black people look like monkeys.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, I was going to say what happened when they?

Speaker 5 (27:33):
when a nigga looked like a monkey, he looks like an
aerobatic.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
When a nigga looks like a monkey, you go.
He looks like an aerobatic.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
He calls Spade a Spade.
That's fine.

Speaker 5 (27:41):
Let's move on, because he looks like the big
gorilla in Planet of the Apes.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
He calls Spade a Spade.
That's him she added it.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
She added it.
That's Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
He needs a horse now.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Patrick, I'm sorry, baby, your shoes is nice.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
I think I'm Michael Clarke.

Speaker 5 (28:02):
Let me see, look at when he played for the Nets, oh
my.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
God.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Well, I'll say this, sir, you looked better in your
younger years.
It's the recent pictures thatare killing me softly.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
Is he still with us?

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yes, why is, he Is he still with

Speaker 3 (28:17):
us.

Speaker 5 (28:17):
Is he dead.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
He's alive, he's very much alive.

Speaker 5 (28:20):
He's 62.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Oh.
What's the next question man.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Mr Ewing, I like your shoes and that's about it.
Did I already ask about theShit?

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Patrick spun her up.

Speaker 5 (28:36):
Yeah, Because as soon as she saw it, she was like I
saw everything you said.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
I wasn't supposed to suspect that.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
He has bowling ball holes for nose.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Oh God, he does Like the big, the large.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
You can shoot a cannon out that thing, boy.
That thing is, that thing isdang it, boy, that's.
Oh shit, he smells the sun comeup, it's okay, smell the sun,
come up as well.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
That shit is diabolical.

Speaker 5 (29:07):
I'm going to use that shit yeah he's like the sun's
up yeah.
Oh shit, you can probably hearthe sun come up too, with his
big-ass ears.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
I ain't never seen a nigga rooster.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Nigga rooster.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Fuck.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
You can't get past the picture.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
No, because that's an ugly nigga.
That nigga's so ugly.
I'm going to show you what helooks like.

Speaker 5 (29:30):
He looks like that big gorilla from Planet of the
Apes.
Next question, though.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
What era would you consider yourself at your peak,
mentally or physically, and doyou feel like you're still
ascending or are you descending?

Speaker 3 (29:43):
Can we ask Patrick that?

Speaker 2 (29:44):
That nigga hit that shit.
82 was his peak.
He done, hit that peak and thatshit is good.
I was at 88.

Speaker 5 (29:59):
I don't think I hit my peak yet that's my answer you
ain't.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
What about you?

Speaker 1 (30:08):
what about a peak that you've reached so far?

Speaker 4 (30:11):
I'm not gonna let nobody who murdered Muppets in
her spare time talk shit aboutme.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
I murdered Muppets, I murdered Coochie, I murdered
lots of things in my spare time.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Now what With the Care Bears?

Speaker 2 (30:25):
there.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Period Talking about just now?
Yeah, she was, I missed it.
Yeah, oh man.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
I missed it.
Keep up, keep up.
I'm going to start lookingright over her head, she's only
five foot two, my nigga like meshort and what's so cold is the.
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
That's a short nigga.
That's a good one.

Speaker 5 (30:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I don't know if I'm Physically, I don't know I got I
think it was Navy when I was inthe Navy, I mean you had used
up the just at the lodge, youhad your shirt off.

Speaker 4 (31:00):
You look comfortable.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Oh yeah, I'm comfortable, like mentally, I'll
put titties out.
I don't give a fuck.
Fuck it Whatever.
I'm not in the pool with at-shirt on.
I chose to come here.
So mentally I feel like I'myeah, fuck, yeah, this might be
my peak.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
You see it right here .
Yeah, like I don't.
She said mentally yeah, fuck it.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
And physically.
Physically I'm not.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
No.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
I'm hell.
No, look at me.
But it's cool.
I don't know what that lookslike yet.
If I work out, if I'm'm gonnago back to, I don't think I'm
gonna hit those weights andthose uh you got that benchmarks
.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
That was that comfortable.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Love weight on you yeah, yeah, but some of it has
to shred, so I'm I'm gonna tryto put my uniform back on and
see if I can don't hurt yourfeelings.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Damn no I can't right now.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
I mean, that's my goal is to lose the weight to
get to that no, my feelingswon't be hurt, trust me there's
a video from like three yearsago me, so it's worse.
It's worse.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
I tried to put it on I mean I wasn't trying, I wasn't
.
When I said that, I said Iwouldn't be me.
I'm just saying I've done thatlike I'm gonna let me try this
on and I'm like that bullshitbutton no, I wasn't trying to be
mean because I've done it.
I'm saying I've done it before.
I was like let me try thisshirt on and I'm like, yeah,
fuck this.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
I thought I had progress but I ain't where I
thought it was.
Yeah, so I think I'm not.
I think I'm there now, but Idon't know about physically.
I want to see what that lookslike with more weight.
That wasn't as big, if thatmakes sense.
Are you trying to get yoked alittle bit, not like like devo

(32:42):
in shape toned?
Okay, are you trying to look?

Speaker 4 (32:45):
like devo no tone.
No, I'm trying to look likeswole like who oh, you're trying
to look like swole swole.
Is that a person?

Speaker 3 (32:54):
what was it?
What do you have a picture ofthem?
They don't like Patrick Ewing,do they?

Speaker 2 (33:00):
No, he does not.
Patrick Ewing baby.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
As long as you compare to him, anybody at any
time, at any shape isn't abetter spot than Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
No, not Sam Cassell.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Sam Cassell.
That's a rough nigga, that'salien.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
I said if Sam can get married to Hat Kids, it's
somebody for him.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I'm sorry, sam, you're probably like our number
one fan and shit, and we werelike they got me again.
This is the second time.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
If he's whole mentally he'll be okay.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Fucking spaceship prologue.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
Oh my god, but he was a good basketball player.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Let me see him.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
She's fine.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
What do you need?
Debatable.
Let me see I wasn't a fan ofsome.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
What's your answer?
He got Benjamin so far, once Iget my diet right.
What's your answer, McFarland?

Speaker 3 (33:55):
you with your peak.
He like he got Benjamin.
Look at his teeth, my uh so far.
Once I get my diet right, sofar my peak was high school
senior year, really as in bothlike health mental or physically
.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Mentally or physically.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
physically because in I remember that was a time
where people treated mecompletely different was my
senior year, because I I playedbasketball for like a year and a
half straight.
I was in the best physicalshape I was in and I came back
to North and it was a differenttime.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
I got groped by a lot of women.
Is your goal to get gropedagain Against?

Speaker 3 (34:27):
your will Against my will, yeah, did you press
charges.
No, I didn't.

Speaker 4 (34:31):
Equality they want equality.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Press charges you trying to get back to the
groping stage.
The groping stage, but with myconsent, goddammit like.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, but if they don't, we're going to get
lawyers, we're going to fundthis, you want to get bigger
McFly.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Because to be fair like.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
I just want to get lean, so at some point I'm
shredding or cutting.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
This part of you right here.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
You snapped it thank you, that was the perfect time
she's sweating no, I don't.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
I compliment him all the time and I don't mean no
harm, no disrespect.
I have much respect for yourgirl.

Speaker 4 (35:15):
I have much respect for John well don't say John,
and then say, well, I just thisnigga, this nigga, well, I got
much respect for your any any.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Mentally I'll say it depends on the cause.
I can say I'm at my strongestmentally, but it's like it's a
lot now to bear theresponsibility of everything
else.
So right now I'm at mystrongest mentally, but it's
just a lot to take on at once.
So pause, um, I can be funny,uh, but yeah, physically I'm not

(36:00):
.
I'm sure I'm gonna get there.
But um, yeah, high school wasthat.
Senior year was a trip likefucking crazy how people
differently treat you how leanwe talking?

Speaker 4 (36:15):
for me then, or now, how lean are you trying to get
now?

Speaker 2 (36:20):
I don't think you're big when we say lean, what do we
mean?
Because you cause.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
You're very like.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
He wants to like come down, shrink her down cause you
very like you, manly, talk yourshit Des like I don't.
And I don't mean I swear to godI'm not hitting on you or no
weirdo shit like that.
And when I said not John, Imean I do respect who I fuck up,
let's.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
She is like she got a ticket.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
You manly, you got like a.
It's nice.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
I appreciate that.
I will say I was going to wait.
I curved by another gay manthis week.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Oh shit, look, here Is your gay nigga, still at your
gym.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
He there and when I saw that $10,000 I said you know
what I might have to make abusiness decision?

Speaker 3 (37:10):
It was awkward but it was.
I tried to be as polite as Ipossibly could be, so it gave me
confidence because it was likedamn.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
I didn't tell you the worst part.
There's another gay man now.
It's Tua.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
I didn't tell you the worst part there's another gay
man.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Now it's Tua At your gym, yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
He called him.
Does he switch just his heart?
He called him he works.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
We got one, he switch in the women TikTok shorts.
I'm like nigga, why are you inhere?
That's funny.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
And he makes icons.
You know what he doing?

Speaker 3 (37:38):
He trying to he fishing, he trying to get you.
I mean it's because there's somany men, it's just it's so
interesting because it does giveyou a perspective of what women
go through.
Yeah, nah, unhanding you tothat degree, because unhanding
me, he then I was saying because, like, I try to be as polite as
possible, but it's still one ofthe things where you're like,
dude, I'm trying to be politeand you're still not getting

(37:59):
that.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
Well, wait see, I learned, just don't communicate
don't give them your number.
Avoid what.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Don't ever give them your number.

Speaker 5 (38:06):
I'm not giving them?
Why the fuck would you hand outthe number?
Did you give out your number?

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Nah, he just said like well, women, that's going
to be unsolicited dick pics.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Oh yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Oh my God, where you're like you're trying to be
polite and then you're like dude, he's really.
I said this is what women gothrough.
Yes.

Speaker 5 (38:27):
Except for when we say no.
Then we get to be all type ofbitches fat ass bitch you
fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
You stupid hoe.
What do you mean?
Fat ass bitch.
You wanted fat mom a minute agoand now, all of a sudden, I'm a
fat ass bitch.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
He might like oh, I love it, that's what women go
through.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Oh, word, you flip it to green and, however, got some
meat.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Here's some meat.
I'm done.
That's a skin.
Turn it to red.
They still there.
You can't, oh my gosh you gonnaanswer the question y'all,
y'all got I did oh, I didn'tanswer yeah, um, mentally I'm
probably at my peak now.

Speaker 5 (39:08):
I feel like I love myself.
I am involved with somebody whoreciprocates and has honestly
put me in a better situationwhere I understand myself and
god more not that I didn't haveto like work on myself, but a
good person that will matchthings and sew into you like you
sew into them.
It changes your perspective on alot.

(39:30):
Physically, I think me I can'tspeak for because I'm not a man
but I want to tone and maybelose a little bit.
But honestly, I've come to therealization I'm never going to
be 120 pounds and I don't wantto be 120 pounds, I think.
As long as you know, I am happywith how clothes look on me and

(39:53):
, yeah, because the wild thingis, I probably get more
attention now than I did when Iwas younger.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
Because I would say 120 sounds small.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Look here, you got to be too something to do
something.
She said 120.
I was.
120 sounds small.
You got to be too something todo something.
She said 120.

Speaker 4 (40:06):
Is that the benchmark .
You're like God damn, yes, okay, I don't want nobody when they
paying size in single digits.
You're it.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
He said what you lack in the bag, you better pack in
the cat.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
I heard that I'm glad to be out the game, but the
camaraderie.

Speaker 5 (40:20):
to hear that in here is what keeps a person going.
I had to come to therealization because that's it.
But I honestly, as long as Itone a little bit, I want to get
, because I got tree stumps forlegs because I'm short.
Well, you got to, I'm nothitting on you.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
Hold on.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Hold on.
Have you seen my wife's legsShit Also very curvy and thick.
Have you seen my wife's legsShit Also very?

Speaker 4 (40:44):
curvy and thick, and when she put them around my neck
.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
She's beautiful.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
You always go to the point.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
It gets uncomfortable .

Speaker 2 (40:53):
But her shape.

Speaker 3 (40:54):
It gets uncomfortable .

Speaker 5 (40:56):
Maybe, she's snappy?
No, I've seen her.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
It was hard for me to not unsee her because of the
balcony stuff.
He told me it's hard becauseall you see, is her.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
All you think about is her being over the damn
balcony.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
My wife really been snapping on these bitches
because in all them picturesy'all see she ain't got no shape
or all.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
No, that's her.
I've seen her in person.
She did the work.
That's her.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
She holding her and I'll be like let's sit her right
here, baby.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Yeah, I've seen her in person.
But, the thing about it is yes,she is doing an amazing job at
the gym and she's slimming down,but she's always been that girl
.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
She always had that shape.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
You lay over there.

Speaker 5 (41:35):
Listen, keep popping her up, because that's what
you're supposed to do as herhusband?

Speaker 4 (41:40):
She's always been that girl.
Hold on, nigga.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
She be.
She's always been here, girl.
Hold on nigga, and you know shebe getting back.
She be getting back in hergymnastics bag.

Speaker 4 (41:45):
I don't want this nigga moaning sitting next to me
she getting back in hergymnastics bag, cause she didn't
came down, so now she got herhand she got her hand standing
down and she doing the splits CA.
I love that life is great forme, I love that for you, but but
I don't want to know.
Yeah you feel me, life is greatfor me.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
I like to hear you talk about your wife.
We can live without the balconyscenes but when you?

Speaker 3 (42:11):
really be like put her doing that thing and
speaking on your wife.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
I love to hear it, because one you ain't lying.
She's true, that lady is snappy, she look good, she always been
that girl.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
You don't want a mental image of your friends.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
We ain't talking about that stuff.
We talking about when you getto the line and then you're like
hey, guess what, you know whatwe?
Was doing about three hours ago.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Like nigga, I don't want to know.
Wipe your drool and keeptalking about your wife.
It don't matter.

Speaker 5 (42:37):
But yes, I'm right there.
That's physically like, and youas you get older you.
You either accept it or youdon't, and I think the thing for
me, no matter if I was involvedwith a healthy person or not.
I'm happy being the weight thatI'm at.
I just want to tone it up.

Speaker 4 (42:52):
I ain't never miss getting on stomach.

Speaker 5 (42:54):
Well, I think for the first time I experienced what
you were talking about which Irespect about your marriage is
because you know women, when weget our food balls, we like shit
, but there's a bring that shithere type shit, shit, don't

(43:15):
bother me at all, no.
But again I feel like it takesa real man to be like come here,
bitch girl.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
I'm simultaneously here more cooking for the bushes
and pick that thing up and getto work at the same damn time.
No, yeah, no, I definitelyagree with you, though it's not
men, but I'm gonna tell you thismen like big bitches.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
No man's trying to get cut either.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
I've not ever had no man tell me, I don't need your
sharp-ass tailbone cutting my'tneed your sharp ass tailbone
what the fuck.
No skinny slander, skinny womenmatter.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
I'm not shaming skinny people.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I'm just saying I'm not trying to get cut.
I hear you, I hear you.

Speaker 5 (43:59):
Is that your?

Speaker 2 (44:00):
pelvis Mentally.
I think I'm getting, I thinkI'm getting there.
I think I'm getting there.
I'm in a lot better space today.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
You're doing better.
I am proud of you, I swear to.
God, I appreciate that I'll betrying to help you, but you
don't listen to me yeah, notlistening to you.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
I actually think you give some of the most solid
advice.
I'm not even going to lie toyou Now.
You be throwing advice at mesometime when I don't be fucking
expecting it.
So I'll be having to preparewhen I see your name pop up,
that you done said something.
But it is solid advice and Ican really genuinely tell that
it comes from a really goodplace.
So I do appreciate it andrespect it.

(44:34):
But yeah, I definitely in a lotbetter place today than I was
this time last year, mentally,physically.
Listen here Okay, you, okay.
I'm just a thick mix baby.
I don't know what to tellnobody.
I don't know what to tellnobody I don't have diabetes no

(44:58):
more so I think I will be.
I'm not gay, no more your bitchhas been delivered okay.
I don't like men.
Okay, oh shit.

Speaker 4 (45:12):
What's the chick?
I ain't had no sex.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Period.
Okay, and had it.
So there's that.
What was the other one?
Mentally and physically, andphysically, honestly, I feel
like I'll be at my pinnacle ofof, um, health when I'm able to
have a child period.
That's the only thing that Ihave an actual issue with.

(45:36):
Other than that, I am likeliving proof that big people can
be healthy, because for themost part, I eat pretty well.
Um, I exercise.
When I now listen, I could bebetter at the damn gym.
I'm still trying to figure outhow to lift the damn weights and
I die.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
I can recommend someone to help you with that.
Yeah, his name is Body's BodyPatino, body Patino.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Okay, yeah, slimy is info, Because definitely I'm
intimidated by the weights but,I, want to be able to lift
weights, but I want to be ableto do, to lift weights but I'm
intimidated by it.
But other than that, once I'mable to have a child healthy and
I'm healthy and the baby'shealthy, that's when I know I
hit my pinnacle of physicalhealth, mental health.
I think that's a foreverjourney.

(46:14):
I've said that on here before,but I'm a lot better.
I'm very proud of my progress.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
Joseph, because I gave you that name.
I want my percentage yeah, goahead, joseph.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
I told I was, I was telling my wife.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
I said we need to just start making shirts and
just put it there.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Yeah, just because he's not gonna live that one
down.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
That body by Tina, that's, that's in there that's
golden, that's in there well,give me his information,
somebody, alrighty.
And then the next question iswhat time of life would you
consider you were the most free,and what, after, attribute to
losing those freedoms, and howcan you um retain them?

Speaker 4 (46:54):
I was the most free of seven years old.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Yeah, I was gonna say oh like I'm like before fucking
, I had to pay bills when I wasseven before are we talking
about like feeling free or likeyeah, I'll go with me.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
For me, I feel like the most free I was probably was
when I lived in washington andthe way I was, uh, in exploring
a lot about who I was, what mademe take uh more into my
emotions and things of thatnature.
So I was free to be able to getto know me and explore a little

(47:30):
bit more of like earth if youwill okay so freedom in that
nature not freedom is like I canget up and go to whatever, like
, even though that's part of it,but yeah the shit changes once
you you know have kids or even arelationship, because you can't
my wife.
I'm not doing like a lot of thatshit.
I was doing where I'm like I'mgonna be respectful, call, do

(47:52):
things like that and, like youknow, just not move like a
fucking piece of shit and myanswer would be from 6 to 18
take that bet 20 and my answerwould be from 6 to 18.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
Yeah, Hell yeah, take that bet 20.
6 to 20.
What happened in 20 to change?

Speaker 3 (48:09):
I got a girlfriend.
Oh I never had a girlfriendbefore that.
Are you just fucking around,anyway, anyway, hey, how you
doing.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
I would say in the context.
Kevin, the context, kevin, Iwould say I'd probably say for
me now.
Yeah, now that I've done thework to understand myself and
done my person well, my startedmy healing process and I can see
myself better and I'm beingtransparent with myself and with
those uh near and dear to methe few that that are I feel
like I am the best version ofmyself and I'm the freest now

(48:46):
because I operate in a space ofwhat I like to do at all times
and anything that I'm not,anything that doesn't match my
energy or doesn't align with mysoul like if I get any type of
negative answers, I'm out Like Ijust don't deal with it.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Let me go back to reiterate the reason.
Six to 20 was my well beforebeing an adult.
My dad literally gave mecomplete freedom as far as going
out.
So it wasn't like this you havethis curfew or time.
So he he trusted me enough tomake the right decision, so I
had complete freedom.
Anyway.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
I didn't bring no kids back, so you were just good
at it.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
You were safely fucking around yeah, I was a
safe kid, like he knew he couldtrust me.
So it was one of the thingswhere I had that complete
freedom and I didn't have foruntil becoming an adult
responsibility of bill, so Icould go hang out, university,
village etc and not have tothink about the consequences.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
Yeah, I can see that because I had something similar,
like as soon as I started Ididn't have to be home as long
as I let them know what I wasdoing, like they didn't really
care because I was, I wasn'tgetting in trouble.

Speaker 5 (49:52):
So yeah, I just say add to what you were saying.
I think right now, probably inthe last eight months, I
probably feel the most free likeI think we because we had that
serious conversation months agoabout death and accepting our
parents not being here.
I think this is probably one ofthe first years where knowing
wrong, like I miss my mom, butI'm more accepting of her not

(50:12):
being here and just making herproud and that's kind of
resonating more with me.
But I'm also in a good space asa parent.
I'm also in a good space in ahealthy relationship.
I'm also in a good space in ahealthy relationship.
I'm also in a good space with myjob, and not that I haven't
always been in a good space withmy job, but kind of what like
Kevin was saying too, is I don'ttake nobody's bullshit and I

(50:34):
will not settle for less and Iwill tell the person very
quickly like if this is whatwe're doing, then just stay the
fuck away from me.
I'll be cordial, but just stayaway Like I don't want anybody
to dim my light.
I don't want anybody to bringtheir bullshit into my bullshit.
If I feel like that's going tohappen, I'll cut a person off
real quick because I've had tolearn.
I'd rather have five solidpeople that I know will defend

(50:58):
me in a room than have 20,000people that will talk shit about
me in a room.
Friendships are super, superimportant, but loyalty is too.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Absolutely.
Did you answer this?
I didn't.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
I was so going to go to that next question.
I think I felt the freeze whenI lived in Virginia.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
What happened?
She had a McFly moment.
Yeah, she tried, she tried, shetried.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
She tried.
I think, yeah, when I lived inVirginia, because prior to
living in Virginia I was verypeople-pleasing, but to my
family, and I think when I livedin Virginia it was nobody there
for me to rely on but me.
So I was able to really getacclimated with myself.
I learned the things that Iliked.

(51:45):
I learned um what I didn't likeand what meant something to me.
I was able to set my own toneand values.
So I feel like when I lived invirginia for those three years I
was my freeze okay, that's goodokay, everybody answered okay,
let's get like one or two more.
I think we only have two more.
Um, what role do you think youplay in healing the worlds

(52:07):
around you?
And then this is a two-partquestion.
And then what?
Um, what are you doing toachieve that, that, uh, that
role?

Speaker 4 (52:16):
I think the role I I play is to show up as the best,
the best version of myself andto let my light shine on those
who it's supposed to be for.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
I think I'm still creating the world around me,
especially given this, this newchapter of life.
I was in one situation and nowI'm breaking.
I don't want to say breakingfree, because this is not a bad
thing.
I'm just moving to anotherchapter so are you creating the
world?

Speaker 4 (52:46):
are you allowing the universe to align that, what
should be aligned with you?

Speaker 5 (52:49):
oh, we oh, that's a good question that's a good
question.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
And this why me and him begin alone?
Lady?
I like, yeah, I definitely I,you're right.
You're right, I am allowing itto align because before I was a
fighting, I was fighting thealignment like tooth and nail.
I didn't want no parts of thechange or anything.
But now, yes, I do believe I amaligning with the things that
that are supposed to be here forme.
So it's still unfolding asbefore my eyes and I'm.

(53:18):
I think the role that I play inthis moment is allowing it to
happen and just feeling securethat God got me and whatever
this looks like in the end, thisis what it is.

Speaker 5 (53:32):
I think projection is very important too.
You project the energy aroundyou and with the energy that you
bring, and even if there's fivenegative people, you can still
have something positive come outof it, depending on how you
project.
And so I think that how youallow people to affect you is
very, very important to how youhandle your own self.
That's part of what Ipersonally think, because every

(53:55):
day there's going to be somebodythat could piss you off, hurt
your feelings or whatever, buthow you handle it and how you
deal with it is going to be thebiggest part about it.
We all know who we areindividually.
We know our strengths, we knowour weaknesses, and I think when
you have those strengths, youjust have to kind of utilize
them to kind of beat down yourweaknesses so that your
weaknesses become strengths.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Okay, friend, me fly.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
Um, I normally try to treat people how I would like
to be treated, but I usually gointo it giving people respect
until they lose it.
So my energy usually is evenlike saying, like with the
situation with curve and a gayguy, like I try not to be that
way.
Like if someone approaches me,I'm I'm always going to give

(54:45):
them respect first.
I'm not going to treat it like,oh how dare you.
It's always in a respect thingand I feel like the world lacks
that in a lot of senses sideways, because you got enough people
doing it anyway.
Is is my way of giving back.
Like, if you're ever around me,I'm never going to look at you

(55:07):
a certain way for being who youare.
You are you are and I'm nevergoing to judge you for that.
So that's my way of gettingback okay, this side of the
table, yeah I feel like that'skind of the same approach.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
I think like my role is to uh kind of show what, um,
what it looks like to lead withlove.
Like try not to be judgmentalon people.
Take people as they are and, um, don't be like, when you think

(55:39):
about, like, why people dothings, you try it's like
empathy, like you try to thinkof, like, even if it's sliding
you or something, I try to thinkabout, well, what made them do
that?
Like, why did they do that?
Why is this this way?
And I try not to react in a waythat brings more hate or anger
to the situation.
I try to come at a spot fromlove, uh, as you were saying,

(56:01):
like, be cordial with people and, yeah, just try to make it easy
in life because this shit'shard enough.

Speaker 5 (56:08):
So, exactly, well, we don't know what people are
going through and that's theunfortunate part, cause I always
think every day when I wake upand I pray to God and say thank
you for a new day, likesomebody's life ended yesterday.
Somebody's always going to bemore fortunate than I am, but
there's also going to be peopleless fortunate than me.

Speaker 4 (56:26):
I just always say it helped me to react better to my
triggers.
Yeah, period Fram you snapping,because I can't control people
triggering me, but I can controlhow I react to it.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
For sure, for sure.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
That's the thing.

Speaker 4 (56:42):
It's not anybody else's responsibility Can we say
shout out to Miss Tammy forthat pound cake, lord Okay.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Who's Miss Tammy?

Speaker 5 (56:49):
His mama, oh, okay.
Baby, that cake was cakey sowhen he was eating it earlier, I
was like it looks so good.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
It was good.
I ain't gonna lie.
That cake was cakey, it wasperfect.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I'm thinking about taking the rest of that shit
home.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I was gonna say take some home, it was moist, it was
very very good.
This is the last question.
Guys, Y'all ready?
I can't partake you can't eatno cake I ain't supposed to be
eating it, I'm not.
Are you trying to get buff?

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Yeah, I just like I said, that's one of the things.
It's a bad road to go down.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Do you know you're a?

Speaker 2 (57:23):
big nigga.
You know you're a big nigga.
Right, You're like a big nigga.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
I don't think I'm tiny, you're a nigga.
You know that.
What are you or I?
I'm called a nigga, you is.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
That's how I describe you.
I'd be like I don't know ify'all can tell from the podcast,
but that nigga big.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
That nigga strong as shit yeah you a strong ass,
nigga.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Even when you hug me, you're like come here, bitch.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
You ever catch McFly in the bear in the woods.
Pray for the bear.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Please pray for the bear, because I'm going to pick
McFly.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
Well, first of all, if I would never be in the woods
, and the guy ain't even goingin there.
I just keep with the buck.
I don't explore, not in thewoods.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
I don't blame you 't nobody going to the West.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
that's not true we know you're going to be.
I was about to say you can askKevin, because I'm not we know
you're going to the West.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Last question y'all what do you find special about
yourself and what are you doingto showcase that part of
yourself to the world?
I'm going to last why?
Because you don't think aboutit no, because I got a long ass
answer.
Go ahead, I like it.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
I like it.
Go ahead, kevin, nah you.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
Oh, why you want me to go.

Speaker 5 (58:38):
Go, I'll go.
Thank you, I'll make myreader's digest quick.
One of the things that I feellike I bring to the world is
giving people a definition that,no matter your circumstances,
no matter your background, thateverybody deserves to be loved,
appreciated and respected.
Because I feel like so manypeople think that when a person
fucks up, no matter what part oflife, whether you've done this

(59:01):
or you've done that, everybodydeserves to have somebody care
about them.
And I don't feel like our pastshould define our present,
because if we're going to livein our past, then our present is
not going to turn into anything.
So I think that's one of thebiggest things.
And you know, love who you love, love them intently and love

(59:21):
without boundaries when you knowyou can, but still keep your
guard up to protect yourself.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
So your favorite thing about you is your ability
to give love freely, withoutunapologetically, without
judgment yeah, and tell amotherfucking suck a dick, oh my
goodness, you know what, thoughyou be talking shit, but you're
the most gentle, sweet, kind,loving person, like just but I
know this because we haveprivate conversations.
But you you be you be talkingshit, oh no, but she's so loving

(59:48):
, like it'd be cracking me thefuck up because I'm like this
girl's so damn sweet, but she,she's still gonna hit you with
her car, but she's sweet I'llrun your pinky toe over.

Speaker 5 (59:58):
Okay, who's next?
What about you, oh?

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
yeah, um, what I learned because I've I I don't
know if you guys know this I wason hiatus for a couple of weeks
, but perspective is amotherfucker, because what I
realize even now, because, likewhen you look at how this
podcast is presented now, whatwe realize when you're not

(01:00:25):
Necessarily inside of it andyou're outside of it and you
look inside, you see inside ofit and you're outside of it and
you look inside, you see my dopepersonality for me is that I am
quirky and awkward, weird, butit's funny, but that's how I've
been my entire life.
So, like now, when I am able topresent that and I feel like the

(01:00:45):
podcast is like a little windowinto seeing that I can be
awkwardly fucking funny andawkwardly myself and I'm
comfortable with that, but liketo be able to format it for the
world to see in.
Like high quality is the is thehardest part in the transition
of it, but that's me Like thisis who I am, I'm.

(01:01:09):
I feel like I'm super dope atthat and that's what I think
I've been trying to define andfigure out for fucking 39 years
and like it's dope, goingtowards 40, that I get to see
that and try to present that tothe world in a dope way.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
I love that.
I see that in you, too.
That's dope shut your ass up.
I love that.
Awesome, I like that.
I love that.
I see that in you, too.
That's dope Shut your ass up,you shut your ass up.
I can't wait till you say whatyou got to say about you,
because I probably ain't seennone of it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
None of it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
I feel like I have this pretty good ability to make
any situation feel okay, anysituation feel okay, like any
anybody.
I come across like I don't feellike I have too many issues of
having like a situation feeluncomfortable, like even in a
bad situation.
It's like I have a pretty goodknack at just relating to people

(01:02:06):
, I guess, if that makes sense.
So it's like I had a friend andI was like damn, it's fucked up
.
But I know what she meant andshe was like whenever I see
kevin smiling, I knoweverything's okay because it's
fucking real.
Like I'm not smiling just tosmile.
It's like, oh, he's comfortableif he's cool.
Cool.
It's like it is what it is.
It's like you see me tripping.
It's like oh nah, some realshit's going on.

(01:02:26):
We gotta go.
But I just try to come at everysituation the same now, like
every person individually.
Like I just try to come at themas they are and not as the
situation is, if that makes anysense.
So I try to just make peoplefeel like people.
That's what I do.
That's how I give it to theworld.
The questions will make youfeel special, right?

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
yes, you want me to read.
Question is what makes you feelspecial, right?

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Yes, you want me to read to you again what makes you
special.
You ain't got to read it again,and how do you give it to the
world.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
My answer is not particularly for the world, but
what I can say is what makes mespecial is what I'm starting to
see through my own eyes is theway that I interact and love my
wife, how it's affecting mydaughter and her expectations of
life, and how she viewsrelationship and marriage.
Now, at her young age, asinnocent as she is, ideals that

(01:03:32):
she's creating in her mind ofwhat she perceives to be normal
is probably what makes me feelthe most special, like the roles
that she will like, look for inin a partner, her expectations
in life.
Like that makes me feel special,because my daughter has a
mindset of like this girl wantsto be married, she wants to have
a big, she wants to have a big,he wants to have a big family.
But the roles and the type oftype of relationship she wants

(01:03:53):
to be in is directly modeledfrom what she's seeing and I
know that that's a healthy placeand that's what makes me feel
better, because I feel like I'vedone the work so that I'm
secure that when she choosessomeone she's choosing someone
with the right intentions andalso we're preparing her to know

(01:04:14):
how to choose, because she hasan idea of what she wants her
life to look like even now, atseven years old.
So I think I'm doing my part.
Going back to the otherquestion, I'm doing my part to
break the generational curse,because now she's looking
intently at seven.
She's already looking forwardintently.
She's not just going out off ofwhat she feels, because this is
, these are things that she'sbeen saying for years.
So I think that's what's beenspecial about my life.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
I love that answer.
That's a dope answer.
I think what makes me specialis I utilize a lot of what has
gone wrong to help others, likeI'm able to turn my pain into
like passion, or my pain intosomething that's going to be

(01:04:59):
useful for someone else.
So I think that's a big, hugepart of what makes me unique.
I'm very empathetic towardspeople in their situations.
I'm very empathetic towardspeople and their situations, and
I think that also makes meunique.
I'm undeniably stylish.
Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:05:17):
Un-de-fucking-niably I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
A stylish ass bitch.
I agree, thank you.
And the Muppets hate that aboutyou Hate to see a bitch coming.
Do you hear me?
Let me let you know right nowit's Piggy running from me.
Hate to see a bitch coming.

Speaker 3 (01:05:31):
Do you hear me?

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
let me let you know, right now it's piggy running
from me.
Hate to see it, won't return.

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
Mom won't return, don't even want to sit up here
with us.
Is it the coked out ammo?

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
hate to see a bitch coming.
But, um, yeah, I, I Ilegitimately feel like I got a
bunch of unique qualities likefor real, for like I'm super
loving, super kind, sweet.
I am a tough girl and I I canhandle a lot but I won't take a
lot.
But honestly I think that'spause.

Speaker 4 (01:05:57):
I heard I heard it too that toughness is a facade.
We'll talk about that later no,I'm a tough girl we'll talk
about it later.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
We we can.
We can talk about it later, butI am, I'm a charger, though
that's cool.
Keep on sending them apple paythings.
I keep on ignoring him.
I'm a pretty tough girl.
You don't think I'm a toughgirl?

Speaker 3 (01:06:13):
The day someone accepts it, huh.

Speaker 5 (01:06:17):
I think it goes back to your toughness being
circumstantial just like minedoes yeah you know what I'm
saying.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
You know me on a different level than he did.
I mean, I think he has a verygood idea.
I good idea.
I'm not even going to lie toyou.
Sometimes he'll say shit andI'll say no on the podcast, but
in the back of my mind I'll belike this nigga going to hit me
with some real shit later,because he does pay, he's
observant and he does have agood understanding of me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
I will not take that from him.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
But you know where that toughness comes in because
we have had those interpersonalconversations.
So you definitely kind of knowme on a different level.
Y'all just know me on twodifferent levels.
But he does pay good attentionand has a good, so I don't deny
that he probably I know blackwomen.

Speaker 5 (01:06:53):
I don't think it's just black women.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
I don't think it's just black women either, but
honestly, Especially the ones inthe sundress and the fro.
Here we go.
All right, y'all, this has beenanother episode of the Heavy.
We thank y'all for listening.
Make sure that you like,subscribe, share.
Come on all that shit commentall that shit interact with us

(01:07:16):
y'all.
We love to hear back from y'all.
Until next time, peace, peacethat's a wrap, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
That's.
That's how she wrote, so makesure to click like subscribe.
Tune in we on the Austrianplatform.
So until next time we'll haveto ask you.