Couldn't Be Me

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In this episode, we explore the weight of life’s burdens and how emotional struggles impact us. Through personal stories, humor, and vulnerability, we highlight the power of empathy in deepening connections. From health anxieties to emotional challenges, we discuss how understanding different perspectives helps break barriers and foster stronger relationships. Join us as we navigate life’s heavy conversations and inspire reflection. Don’t forget to subscribe for more insightful discussions! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

(00:27):
What's good?
This is episode 188 of theheavyweight podcast.
I am your anti-social host andnever your favorite.
Stutter mcfly back again withthis lady and these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out
here I'm a cp3 hoe.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh, my god what.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
This is all McFly.
I got a bunch of boondockreferences.
It's your boy, molito.
It's my fault.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
It's your girl, danza Diva.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
Make sure, y'all avoid the Kung Fu Wolf bitch.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Oh my god, I ain't never been so happy for you to
start a damn show.
How was your week?
What's going on?
Introduce your damn self Me.
Somebody say something.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Somebody other than Bolito say something I'm going
to let it cook for a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Please Let him cook this is funny Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
No, I'm good, I'm good yeah how were your weeks?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
My week was actually amazing.
It was actually amazing.
It was actually amazing.
Rich ass, nigga, I mean it wascheap.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
He, the rich nigga, and I got the broke phone
Southwest.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
That makes it easy.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
Want to get away yeah .

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Oh, you guys got those prices Absolutely and we
had like 100 empty seats.
Went to Texas so that was fun.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
I think I could fit on a Southwest flight now.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
I mean, I think you could before I think so.
I'm a bigger girl, it's notspirit.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
I had to always pay for that first row, so I get
that little extra 12 inch pause.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh, you do the Southwest first class what up?
Exit row what up?
Yeah.
So exit row what up?
Yeah.
Uh, saw my cousin, that wasawesome.
That was real good.
So you know, I think I'm gonnamake that a a thing just to go
down there and cultivate these,this relationship I say that
shit, but I believe man fuckthem niggas.

Speaker 4 (02:17):
Nah, this is, this is cool because I got.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I didn't really meet until his dad died, and that was
after my died, and we're bothlike damn near 40.
And I was like damn, we justdidn't meet, maybe we should and
we get along.
So it's nice, it was nice.
That's how shit be.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
My week was cool, man , it was good.
I joke because I'm back down tomy pre-baby weight.
Oh, I got you.
You know what?
I'm back down to my pre-babyweight.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Oh, I got you.
You know what I'm saying.
I got you.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I'm back down to the weight I was when she told me
she was pregnant.
You know how when your womanget pregnant, then she get them
cravings and I'm like we're notgoing to waste this food.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
So I gained a lot of weight.
I can't blame her for all of it, but I came most of, it was me
well you both look great um.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Stop trying to fuck ain't nobody trying to um, so
you ever watch soul plane yeah,absolutely.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah.
Which one?
Yeah, which one?

Speaker 3 (03:11):
there's another one yeah, there's more than one yes,
no, there's not, there's not.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
Yes, there's the edited version, then there's oh,
there's the pre-bootleg one no,there's the, the one you saw
the movie there is.
Then there's the bet one.
That's why I say it's two.
Oh-bootleg one?
No, there's the one you saw inthe movie theaters.
Then there's the BET one.
That's why I say it's two oh.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
I thought there was one that released before it
because it leaked before it wentinto theaters.
There's that version too.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Oh, did it.
I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's.
That's.
That might be one reason theycall Kevin Hart a plant Like
nigga.
How you go from no one to amovie, what.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Well, if you asked him, Kevin, he had been putting
in the work in all the comedyclubs.
I didn't see him before that,but he said he had been putting
in the work in.
I'm going to just take him asword.
I can't.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
To be fair.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
I don't know.
I don't think that's a DaveChappelle got scrooged.
Still nobody know that movie.
No, I think the first movie Isee Dave Chappelle is Half-Baked
yeah there's some movies outthere, half-baked A little bit
before that, I believe.
Oh fucking Robin Hood, RobinHood man.
Yeah, that's one of my favoritemovies.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
He didn't get the feature role.
No, he didn't get the featurerole.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
My favorite Dave Chappelle line is still walking
Blue Street.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
He's like do the thing.
I ain't seen none of this shit.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
You ain't seen Blue Street, I don't like Dave
Chappelle, Tango, Ugato and LosPato.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
You say you don't like Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
You see, how I said it?

Speaker 2 (04:37):
low Because I didn't want to fight.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
I didn't want to tussle.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
So you don't like Jay-Z, nor Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
You don't like Jay-Z, nor Dave Chappelle.
You don't like Dave.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Chappelle, I didn't say, I didn't like Jay-Z Kevin,
switch me seats.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
I don't like Dave Chappelle and.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
I didn't say why you got beef with black men.
You ain't seen the boom dots.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
I know you lying, you ain't watch.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
You don't like Jay-Z I did say I didn't like fucking
Jay-Z.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
I don't like Dave Chappelle.
Why, I don't know.
He's corny to me.
I don't like him.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
You know there's some comedians that you have to have
A level, a certain level.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
I knew he was gonna go down.
I know you was gonna try Toplay me.
Nigga, don't try to play me, Ijust he's corny to me.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
My week was level.
How was your?

Speaker 4 (05:14):
week you ain't never seen a baby A woman give.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
I mean that's fair.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
He's corny, it's art.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Art is subjective, that's all good Dave is the goat
and that's great.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
I'm sure he paved the way for lots of people.
I still don't like Ice-T didtoo.
I'm not a big fan.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Exactly same thing I'm not a big fan of.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Ice-T either.
But yes, he did pave the wayfor a lot of people.
I never said.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
I didn't like.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
You mean the cop killer, that's a cop.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh boy, oh nigga, he'd be selling that in Shire.
You're on a roll today, baby.
Anyway.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
And.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
I never said I didn't like them.
Jay-z.
How was your week, des?
It was cool.
I never said I didn't likeJay-Z she did.
Did I say that?
You said that shit I, I don'tmind him, I just don't listen to
him good thing it was recorded.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
We can play it back.
Run this shit back she's.
She's ricardo, ricardo, james,you know what's funny hey, we
can put it in slow motion.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
It's gonna be like I didn't say that shit I didn't
say fuck jay-z, did I say that?

Speaker 2 (06:22):
no, you didn didn't say fuck Jay-Z, but your dancer
said you didn't like him Fiveseconds later.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
If I was making a playlist, he wouldn't be the
first artist I thought to put onthere.
He has songs here and there Ilike, but they probably are not
the more popular ones that youall would like.
I just don't listen to hismusic like that.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
I don't like Jay-Z, you're starting to remind me of
Rick James on your show.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
That's what I'm saying.
Riccardo James, yes, no, Idon't remember putting my feet
in Eddie Murphy's couch.
Yeah, I remember I was likewait what?

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Cocaine's a hell of a drug and fuck both of y'all.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
How was your week, big Fly, because I'm not going
to be playing with neither oneof y'all today.
Y' on my nerves.
Um, I'll just go into my uhjourney to to doing the
endoscopy and I'll do that.
The what?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
the endoscopy.
That's right.
Oh, we did talk about that.
She see, she don't remember Ihad a personal conversation,
it's clear that des is on thepodcast.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
She's just not a fan of the podcast no, that's
bullshit, I had I remember wehad a one-on-one conversation,
so shut your ass up, okay yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
So I had an endoscopy and I told des that I was
nervous.
I told mo too I was nervousabout it.
Um, because I didn't.
I've never been put under foranything any.
I've never had a surgery oroperation or anything.
So I was nervous about thewhole being put under anesthesia
.
But, um, it was an interestingtime.

(07:50):
I went, uh, shout out to patrickfor, uh, for being my, my ride,
and um, we're sitting thereshooting the shit with the the
dude at the front desk and we'retalking about luca going to the
lakers and shit, and um, weshot the shit and it was real
chill.
And we go into the back andthey, they have you get ready.
And we're, as I'm getting ready, he's like so I'm gonna need

(08:13):
you to get full butt naked.
I said, excuse me, he goes.
Oh, you're here for the theupper.
Oh, no, you just take your up,up your stuff above your waist
off.
I said okay.
I said, nigga, either way, thatwasn't going down.
I'm not getting butt naked foryou, nigga, that's not happening
anyway.
So I get prepared.
They take you in the back andthere's a black anesthetist.

(08:35):
An anesthesiologist is that isthat yes so she was like you're
nervous, huh?
I said yes, I've never been putunder for anything.
She's like don't worry, I gotyou.
I said I believe you, I believeyou.
So she's like they're puttingall the vitals on me.
I said this motherfucker, likeI'm freaking the fuck out.
They're like you're reallynervous.
I said I've never been putunder for anything.

(08:56):
Any hospital visits I've hadhave always been don't.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Don't like the process.
Last time I saw my dad hospitalall that shit.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
So she ended up giving me something and it, like
at a van or something, chilledme out and then, um, she gave,
started asking me questions.
She was I gave you a little bitof the the shit to knock me out
and she's like but the doctorneeds to ask you a couple
questions for before we startthis.
I said okay.
So she starts asking me aboutmy house and how it was like
living in Winchester and I can'tremember Cause I remember is

(09:36):
trying to answer the question.
It was like she asked fourquestions.
I don't remember ever gettingto the third, I just remember
fumbling on the second and whenI, by the time I realized what
was happening, I was like you'regood to go home.
I said, excuse me, yeah, Ididn't even finish the question.
What you fuck, I just got here.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
So were you in the same room.
Yeah, see, I've only gone underonce and the shit that fucked
me up is they were sitting theretalking to me and I was like I
don't know what the fuck's goingon.
I just woke up and I was likein another room and I was like
wait, wait, how did they?
How did this work?
When the fuck did I get here?

(10:14):
I'm here for my teeth, yeah,and I'm what the fuck?

Speaker 4 (10:21):
That shit's a trip I told you that's the best sip of
your life.
You wake up like fuck.
Is it, though?
Cause you don't?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
remember none of that shit.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
That's why it's good that's why that shit is good and
I just remember coming to and Iwas coughing like crazy.
She's like, yeah, you gottacough, keep coughing.
I said okay, and I just likeit's time to go home.
I was like, yeah, I said fuck.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, what was the coughing for?

Speaker 2 (10:44):
I guess for the tube going down my throat, so they
wanted to make sure that I yeah.
So but yeah, that was aninteresting experience, but I
have a slight hernia and GERDwhich is excess acid, so they
they gave me a prescription toto regulate my stomach acid and

(11:07):
just told me to keep, uh,proceeding to go to the gym and
such.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
So how you do, cause I was like how do you do it?
Do it a hernia, is it just it?

Speaker 2 (11:16):
depends on the severity of the hernia.
If it cause.
My nephew has a hernia, but hisis worse, he's a like throwing
up.
Has a hernia but his is worse,he's like throwing up.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
He can't keep nothing down.
They don't operate him, not yet, because the only one that's
that bad.
They go in and repair it.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
He had to get the endoscopy to make sure how bad.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
But he does have to get it.
Oh, they got to do surgeries.
Yeah, oh shit.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
But you're usually out for a minute from, so you
usually got to sit down.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
My wife has one and she literally got hurt from
pushing out my daughter.
I said so.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
She still causing you pain aww that's what I get
scared of is like liftingsomething.
I get scared that I'm gonna getone from like a sneeze, cause
I'll be sneezing and that shit,oh shit, my goodness.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
I'm just.
I'm waiting for that sneeze totake my back out.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Oh, boy that's gonna suck oh help so pick me off the
floor so I guess it's time toget into the shenanigans.
And Mo Patrick said fuck you.
So these are usually curatedoff of life again.
We gotta get Patrick on theshow, cause I got to see him
it's gonna be worse than y'alltwo together.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
These are usually curated off of life again.
We got to get Patrick on theshow because I got to see him in
person, it's going to be worsethan y'all two together.
It's just going to be like wegot to get Patrick on the show.
Sit him right here next to mebecause he sound like he going
to have jokes.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
No, he don't.
So these are curated by life,and right now in the notes it's
called what you Eat, don't MakeMe Shit.
Shout out to jay-z um okay sotupac all day, I don't give a
fuck.
Put your little diamond down,okay, can you share a moment
when you realize someone's lifechallenges were very different

(12:54):
from your own, and how did thataffect your perspective?

Speaker 4 (12:58):
every motherfucking day when I look at my daughter
and say this is, this is whatyour challenges are.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, because that's the realization that you grew up
differently you would fold inthe 90s like soft as Charmin.
Yeah, because I definitely lookat that every day.
It's a whole different.
They're on a whole differentthing than us and the challenges

(13:25):
.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
I think even there is just the fact that we never had
to deal with social media likethey do no and how they can.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Like we deal with physical confrontation with
bullies.
They can literally deal with ananonymous bully the whole
fucking time.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
So yeah, yeah, but that's psychological warfare
like a motherfucker, that'scompletely I'd rather take on
the physical bully than yeah, Iwant to.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'd rather take on the physical bully than that
shit not an invisible bully andlike 30,000 of them, you're like
, oh shit, there's 30,000 thingsthat hate me.
I don't even know them yeah,that's scary.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Tap in, trace that IP and pull up and I think I have
the opposite perspective when itcomes to the kids, because my
stepson has autism, so I thinkhe has a more challenging
childhood than I did, so I thinkthat kind of made me.
It actually humbled me a lotand it also made me look at some
of the people who went to highschool with that I feel like

(14:15):
might have had autism but theydidn't get diagnosed I feel like
a lot of people were on thespectrum before it was popular
yeah, I think so too, and I'mnot even making a joke.
I just there are certain people,and because I'm with him.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
I'm talking about somebody close to me.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, okay Well who he's referring to me you think
yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
I was diagnosed before, but it's not like that.
It's just he cool though.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, yeah, well I think because people don't
really understand that autismreally just refers to how you
communicate, that there's a lotof people we know that— I used
to communicate with my hands.
I wouldn't be surprised if amajority of us have a touch of
it.
The spectrum is so broad, itwouldn't be surprising you used

(15:02):
to do what with your hands.
It took a minute.
He had a nigga moment.
It took a minute.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I am just so tired.
It wouldn't be surprising youused to do what with your hands.
He had a nigga moment, that'sall.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
I am just so tired.
And then he looked at me and.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
I was like ah, he had a nigga moment, that's all.
Don't mind him, you can referto my face as soon as he said it
.
Because I was like this niggahere you just show ass up
communicates with his hand nigga, you know.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
You want to know what's shitty, because I'm gonna
admit this go ahead and say itthat made me think of a wishbone
wrestler.
Wish he's done some shit.
Wishbone, he talks with hishands anyway, what's wrong?

Speaker 2 (15:42):
des, hey des, real quick, real quick.
Have you ever said, man, Ican't wait for the wishbone big
rig, rollo and wishbone.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
No, it never came out .
It never came out and nobodynoticed no one noticed, no one
asked no one asked yeah, he knewhe knew if you come my way
anyway.
Um you know what I learned alot working at this adult center

(16:09):
, senior center.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Okay, I was going to say that.
Yeah, I thought I was like yeah, damn you worked at a porn
store.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I was finna go.
I had to clean that up, finnabe done.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, I would think that's what they would be
thinking, that's the back room.
I got to clean that up Shit.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
But there was like damn I don't remember his name
this old fella.
He was like 90 at the time andyou're like damn, he's like you
know all these health issues,but that fool would wake up
every day, day, ride hismotorcycle in and get in there,
get on the treadmill and hit hislittle weights and go about his

(16:51):
day and I'm like I ain't gotshit to complain about.
Like if this old man can stillkeep going and doing this shit,
what the fuck am I doing?
Like nigga, I'm in here, hi.
Like shit like that, likealways lesbian, or like when you
see people with like missinglimbs or something like that or

(17:13):
things like that and still goingthrough.
I was gonna say something I waskicking through, but I was like
that's probably, yeah,inappropriate, but you know what
I mean.
Like that shit makes me putthings in perspective for me,
like you can do it I definitelyagree with that.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
I also think in recent times, in realizing how
recent a lot of um, like civil,just things that we had to go
through was like my mom going toschool where she was being
bused in there calling her youknow I don't name on the bus,
and things of that nature Ithink I also feel like we're,

(17:56):
although we're going in theright path.
I think I might've taken forgranted how like serious and how
recent a lot of that that wasfor us.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh yeah, that's mad recent.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, Like our grandparents and grandmas and
mamas and daddies and uncles.
They went through that.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Parents were alive when Martin Luther King was
killed.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, and I don't think I registered that for like
a while and now I'm like ohhell hold on.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
No one is.
That's the problem.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
This shit just happened.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Hold Like oh hell, hold on, no one is.
That's the problem.
This shit just happened.
Hold on, we ain't that far off.
They want you to act like orbelieve that it ain't just
happened.
Yeah, no, and that's the truth,right.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
That's definitely the truth.
That's definitely the truth,but I don't think I realize it.
And knowing that now it makesme feel like I have to do better
with not only like knowing usas a culture, but how I move as
a culture, how I move for theculture.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Well, I feel like with that, when you go in, that
it feels like they looking at uslike nigga.
What are you complaining about?

Speaker 3 (18:57):
I swear to God, before this episode is over, I'm
going to pepper spray your assbecause this nigga oh I was like
Pepper spray you blood in yourmouth.
Yeah, bite your little punk asstongue, because nobody want to
hear it Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
She done all for the culture.
She ain't never seen Boondocks.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Fuck the damn Boondocks nigga.
I don't watch cartoons cuz yousee you, finna, make me mad.
I don't watch fucking cartoons.
Okay, I'll watch the littlebitch ass cartoon when I get to
the house.
Now, what was you saying, kevin?

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Well, you should watch the cartoon oh boy.
I'm going to turn this shit off.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
No, I haven't seen the boondocks.
I don't listen to Jay-Z.
I don't fuck about DaveChappelle no, shade.
Dave Chappelle, I think you dida great job paving the way for
people.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
I just don't fucking like the comedy that he does hey
, and if you're listening, boy,have I got a joke for you.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
I don't, I don't make fun yeah, please answer the
question, because this niggamore recent.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
It's a lot to process .
Let me hold on.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
I can't meet for the culture because I didn't see the
boondocks.
I didn't say you couldn't meetfor the culture.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
See, no, don't you should have not said something
you should have even had it.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
You should have even had it, even with it yeah, I'm
just saying like it's a run itback.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
Run the tape back yeah, please because we can't do
that in real time.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
This isn't the nfl I will say, uh, I had this whole
answer um picked out, and thensomeone next to me said that
they didn't listen to jay-znigga, you ain't gonna.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
You wouldn't you suck ?
God damn itFly.
We not been doing this no wholehour long, McFly okay.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, that's funny.
Okay, well, growing up, I willsay in a lot of instances it was
understood from my perspectivethat it was always going to be
different when it pertained to alot of my classmates and peers,
because most of my peers allhad their moms and their life,

(21:07):
and usually not the fathers, orthey had both parents.
Me, it was always just me andmy dad and it was a whole
different dynamic.
So you would get either thekids that envied you because
there's like all your dads there, then it would be like the uh,
the damn, how can you operatelike that without a mom?
So, uh, you would get a lot ofinstances where you would have

(21:32):
to deal with people not reallynecessarily giving a fuck about
how you were raised or broughtup, because they they're just
dealing with what they deal with, which is understandable.
But it's understanding thatwe're we come from different
sides or different perspectivesbecause of what we had to deal
with growing up.
So for me and the reason why Iasked that question was it's

(21:55):
hard to be empathetic, but it'sa very valuable thing and, in a
way, a blessing to be able to beempathetic to other people,
because everybody comes from adifferent background.
So for me it was understandingthat so-and-so might have beef
with you because you have yourdad around and they don't.

(22:17):
So you have to understand andbe empathetic, to understand
that why they're giving you alittle bit of smoke was because
it has nothing to do with you.
It's just them having to acceptsomething that they didn't get
a choice in Same thing with me.
I never really necessarily envypeople for having their moms
around, but I just kind ofaccepted it, I guess as growing

(22:41):
up, that my mom had her issuesand I just had to accept what it
was and then try to make themost of what I was going through
.
But you know, you learn a lot,regardless of what your
background is, is just beingable to take the lessons.
Like you said, kevin, I dealtwith every time I felt sorry for

(23:02):
myself or was on some bullshit.
I always had a interestingthing of seeing someone with a
missing limb or the homelessperson that was just happy to be
able to get a meal and you go,fuck, what am I complaining
about?
Yeah, homeless, yeah, andthey're just excited just to

(23:22):
have a meal.
And you're over here like whatthe fuck am I complaining about
if they're just they're happy tojust be living yeah so I said
it's important to be empatheticin a lot of situations.
I a lot of times we're so caughtup in our own shit we don't
know how to be, but it'simportant to pay attention to
what other people are goingthrough because it can make you
appreciate what you have.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
So and I would if I could add to that with empathy.
I think what people got to learnto practice is empathy towards
those who you perceive to havemore than you because, like,
sometimes we look at people thatare the haves or whatever and
see them go through things andbe like well, how could that

(24:04):
possibly be a problem to them?
It's like it's hard to putourselves in those shoes because
we haven't lived in that life,but it's like if this is the
worst thing that they've gonethrough, it's nothing to us, but
to them it's the worst thingthey've gone through.
You know what I mean.
So it's like that's where itgets tough and I think if we
could all learn to practice thatit'd come out a little better

(24:27):
in ways.
But, like empathy, I think isimportant to learn how to go
beyond just the lesser Does thatmake sense that makes sense, I
would say two things.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Sometimes people don't the toughest thing they
went through.
They may not view it as thetoughest thing because the the
effects of it may be delayed,yeah, okay, or they can't
correlate.
Put the two dots together, thatthis is why this is happening.
And then, to touch on what youwere saying, mcfly, I always say
that I had a great childhoodright my grandparents did

(24:58):
everything for me and they were.
They raised me to the best oftheir ability.
But, especially like my teenageyears, there was a void there
that I wanted my parents and itdoesn't.
It didn't matter how much theymy grandparents loved me, I
still wanted the love from myfather.
I still wanted the love from mymother and it was something
that they couldn't replacebecause I knew.
I knew that even though theytook those roles, they weren't

(25:21):
my biological parents.
So that was something that Istruggled with and I think I
really do think that that reallywhat was pushed me to try to
develop relationship with myparents.
But but again, like people say,oh, yeah, I had a great life,

(25:46):
life, but emotionally it was.
I always felt I was lackingsomething because I didn't, I
didn't have the one thing I Icherished the most.
So like, but people like,because my wife's all the time,
oh, you had a silver spoon, yes,I was, yes, I was raised rather
nicely, but it wasn't I alwaystell like, at least you had your
mother's love or the version ofit, you know what I'm saying
and you got to see your fatherfrom time to time.
It was like cause, like Ialways say, I I can count on one

(26:08):
hand how many times I saw myfather before I started driving.
You know what I'm saying.
So I do think people like Kevinwas saying like you, you got to
have empathy because it may notbe.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
It may not look like a bad situation to you, but you
don't know how they feel intheir situation.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Well, that was a deep way to start, I like it.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
I told you, dez, I'm going to be serious.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
How can you define empathy and how has it shaped
your interaction with others?

Speaker 3 (26:40):
I think empathy comes from a level of emotional
intelligence, just kind of beingable to give grace to others
that are in different situationsthan something maybe you've
experienced and sometimes thingsthat you have experienced, but
still have that grace for otherpeople.

Speaker 4 (26:59):
I think empathy comes from understanding that your
view doesn't necessarily matchtheir view but, at the same time
, there's nothing wrong withtheir view.
And it's understanding that whatgot you to age I'll just say
you're 30.
What got you to age 30 is notthe same thing that got them to
age 30.
So, even though the experiencesare different, it doesn't

(27:23):
discount their view or whatthey're going through and it's
also being able to support in away that they need to be
supported in their down times,because it's like everybody here
right, everyone here wouldrequire a different type of
support depending on what we'regoing through.

(27:45):
You know, like I can't supportthis the way I would support you
, I can't support you know.
I'm saying like it's notinterchangeable.
So empathy is understandingthat, especially with people you
consider like friends, family,is supporting them in ways that
is beneficial to them, issupporting them in ways that is
beneficial to them, because Ifeel like a lot of people
operate in the terms of what'sI'm only going to give you,

(28:08):
what's good for me type deal,and that's not really being
empathetic.
Empathetic is putting yourselfaside and catering to the needs
of the other person at that time.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, it's the textbooks textbook.
You know, putting yourself inother people's shoes, I don't
know, but I guess I just I lookat it as everybody is their own
self.
It's like who the fuck am I?
Like?
I'm no better than anybody, I'mno better than nothing.
It's like it's easy for me tolike sit down and listen to

(28:46):
somebody and just take whatthey're saying and not judge
them.
You know what I mean.
So I think that's how I justmaneuver on a daily.
So I think that's kind ofshaped me in the the way it is,
because I think I just I kind ofam empathetic to pretty much
everybody and it's it's servedme well.

(29:07):
I feel like, and like it'shelped me be very honest, like
if you don't know something,like I can't act, like I'm
empathetic to that, like I'll be, like I don't know what that
feels like I'm gonna be honestwith you.
I have no idea, but I'll behere for you, whatever it is you
know, does it go along withyour, your quote that you had on
Facebook?

Speaker 2 (29:25):
What's that the blessing of being able to see
people as humans.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
I guess, yeah, I read a lot of comments and I'm like,
damn, people are just lost,they're disconnected.
And I'm like, how the fuck doyou do that?
They'll go into politics.
And I'm like you know, such andsuch is going through this they
.
I'm like you know, such andsuch is going through this.
They're like, oh well,so-and-so voted for that.
You're like, well, that hasnothing to do with politics.
This is like real life.
Like at this point it's reallife.
Like cool politics can be reallife, but those motherfuckers

(29:50):
don't care, you still got to go,do what you got to do.
But at the end of the day,everything is based on
relationships.
Like this whole world movesthat way, like if there was
nobody people not connectingwith each other it'd just be a
fucking machine.
And if we get to that it's over.
We might as well just be robots.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
So Because even in what you said about uh, too
short you being able to kind ofidentify that he was going
through something and and youwere like well, you know, he's a
human.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, his brother murdered.
You're like dog.
Come on.
He walked by, I looked at himand I was like something looks
off.
And then I was like oh yeah, nah, leave him alone.
And like I think he kind of sawme because I was walking to the
bathroom and he kind of lookedat me.
I was like nigga, I'm notcoming to make a scene, I'm not
coming to make a scene, I'mgoing to the bathroom.
But I was like nah, I got you,don't, I'm not going to be like

(30:46):
what's my favorite word?
Like well, yeah, I guess thatis, yeah, that's literally my
daily thought processes outsideof me.

Speaker 4 (30:59):
But like that, seeing people as human is that's key,
because we're all just a sum ofour experiences.
Yeah, and being empathetic alsois taking into account the
other person's experience,because no two experiences are
going to be exactly the same.
Yeah, even like when you lookat children raised in the same

(31:21):
house, each one has a differentupbringing.
Each one's childhood is not,it's not going to be identical.
Someone's going to feel less,less love.
This person got more attention,or you are harsher with me,
it's not.
It's never the same and it's.
It's true.
Like they say, you could, youget a different version of the
parent depending on the child.

(31:41):
You know what I'm saying.
So you have to really look atpeople and say well, in order
for me to empathize with whatyou're going through, even if I
can't understand it, I can stillbe supportive in a way in which
you need.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I don't have tonecessarily have the same
background or the sameupbringing to see that, because

(32:02):
pain is pain.
We all can recognize pain.
Pain is pain, hurt is hurt,sadness is sadness, and you, you
have to relate with them on theon the basis of that, whatever
that emotion is, yeah it's.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
It's odd because I look at so much shit where it's
like people could be, so likeyou could talk to somebody who's
like completely racist and likewhen you sit there to somebody
who's like completely racist andlike when you sit there and
listen to it, you go are youguys don't even realize we're,
we're in the same fucking boat,Like it's the same struggle, but

(32:35):
you can't see past whateverthat is.
And it's it's nuts, it's nuts.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I don't know my brain when I'm still looking for
these black jobs.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
They all gonna be black jobs soon.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
It's the field that's why he going to get the
Mexicans up off the damn fieldso he can put us back in there.

Speaker 4 (33:01):
We know what the black jobs.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
That's why he said the Mexicans are taking the
black jobs, and he immediatelysent ICE to the fields Nigga
please, you got too manycertification in the field.

Speaker 4 (33:10):
I won't be going in the field.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
I just bought a nine millimeter you want to put me.
It's legal.
Goddamn right Anyway.
Stutter.
God damn right anyway.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
so in my life.
I can say that the one thingthat I was being able to be
blessed with growing up was theability to have empathy when I
didn't even realize that's whatit was, and I've told this story

(33:42):
before in this podcast.
About like me and my dad wentto in and out and we were in the
drive through and he was beingreally rude to lay at the at the
window and I'd said dad, like,why are you being mean to them?
They prepare your food, likewhat?

(34:03):
And he thought about what Isaid and I was just like because
my brain automatically I wasfour or five at the time, but I
remember just thinking imaginebeing in their shoes and you're
yelling and like being iratewith them and would you, would
you want to be in that?
And he thought about, he saidyou're right.
I said they prepare your foodand you're being irate like,

(34:24):
would you want?
Like, if you're on the otherend, what would you do to their
food?
So, um, I just in life.
It was very easy to try to.
Maybe it helped me get out ofmy own brain, but it was easy to
understand where I try tounderstand where other people
are coming from, because it wasjust shit.
What are their experiences like?
Yeah, and that was a lot oftimes where I would break it

(34:45):
down to what is your like, likedaily life, like I'm sure it's
very different from mine, sothat that made me be able to
have friends from differentbackgrounds.
Um, I remember my best friend,farhan Farhan Ahmed.
I remember his culture and howdifferent he was from mine, but

(35:15):
when we would talk you wouldlearn that, like there's so many
different people in this worldand the roads it took to get to
where we ended up in the sameroom in the same school and we
were able to just both lovebasketball and all these things
and you realize we come, we can,he has.
He came from a, a, a veryreligious, a religious two

(35:36):
parent household where they theyhad a strong belief in family
and all that, and my family wasthe exact opposite, but it was
very interesting to see that wecould still coexist at the same
table essentially, and we werevery close friends and I always
thought it was a trip that oneof the times in jury duty we

(35:57):
ended up seeing each other likefucking 20 years later and I
remember hearing his name and Isaid, nah, no way.
And we were in the same jurypool.
I said no fucking way.
And he walked up.
I said holy shit, this is whereI am, but it was one of them
things.
Even now, we're still cool witheach other and it was still the
same thing.
We still love the Lakers.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
We're still you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
You better, you better, yeah, but it's still one
of the things is like that's afriend of mine, that that came
from just understanding thatwe're different but we didn't
look at each other as bad forbeing different.
so to be able to have thatempathy, to understand that
everybody has a differentbackdrop and that's a lot of the
friends that I met were alwaysdifferent- that's always good
and a lot of the closest peoplethat that I've came across, that
that helped me through ajourney of doing music, et

(36:43):
cetera, was based on them havingempathy and understanding that
I wasn't like them.
Going to MI and I rememberfeeling so fucking cast out by
all the rappers.
They all used to fucking actlike I wasn't one of them, but
the rockers fucked with me andact like I wasn't one of them.
But the rockers fuck with me.
And they saw me walking aroundSunset by myself in between

(37:05):
class and they asked me to comewith them to Amiwa Music.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Like punk rockers.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah, yeah, they're usually an inclusive group.
And then they were just likehey, man, you're so dope man,
what you can do with your voiceis dope.
You're the one talented rapper.
And I said I appreciate it andand I'm still cool with those
people to this day it blew yourmind.
Yeah, because it was one of thethings where I'm like I didn't
think that the punk rockers orwhatever would look at the

(37:30):
rapper and go you're dope.
Yeah, and, like I said, there'sjust people embracing
differences well, those foolswere just intimidated, the
rappers I.
I just know it's.
To be able to see that side ofit to me is how I define it Like
to be able to see thedifferences and embrace them and
not look at them as a bad thing.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
What you said kind of reminded me of the first
question.
So I remember I had all throughmiddle school and high school.
I had this friend Vijay.
So I remember I had all throughmiddle school and high school,
I had this friend Vijay and weboth had similar pressure, but
his pressure was like way deep,worse than mine, right, because

(38:13):
like the pressure of doing goodin school, right, like being a
student was a requirement for meand it was the same for him.
But it was worse for himbecause both of his parents were
doctors.
Yeah, I was going to say hesounded like he was supposed to
be a doctor, right, and not onlywas both of his parents doctor,
his dad was the doctor to a lotof people at the school, so it
wasn't like you could dosomething, it's not?

Speaker 2 (38:32):
going to get back to your dad.

Speaker 4 (38:34):
And I used to remember, like I remember he
used to like he wanted to be anathlete, like he wanted to be on
um, he wanted to like, like youknow, he wanted to like be on
the tennis team, or he wanted tobe on uh like run track or
something like that, and his dadwas like no, you gotta study.
Like his parents would not lethim have anything outside of
books.
And it's great, I mean, he's adoctor now.
He has a beautiful wife andfamily I think his wife's a

(38:56):
doctor too.
So I mean, but like that, likethe pressure on his life, I was
like man, it worked, it worked,it worked.
But they literally like theycontrolled, like no, this is,
like this is.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
It's funny Farhan's like some like rocket, something
Like he's a scientist wherehe's like money.
Like he has like floor seats tolike yeah, like to like the
Lakers, and you're like dude,you turned out.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
I like the sounds of that.
It's depression.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
I'm too soft.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Think about there was a girl, this Korean girl, at
our elementary school and Iremember I was happy getting
like a B.
She got a B plus and it brokeher.
I said what the fuck?
She was in tears, crying andit's.
She was worried about anelementary school brain bringing
down her average because ofwhat?

(39:48):
The pressure of parents were onher.
And I'm thinking I felt empathyin that moment Cause I was like
damn to have that kind offeeling.
I'm just happy getting this.
You got a better grade than meand you're heartbroken.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Like what the fuck?
Sometimes I think like damn, Iwonder what it's like as an
adult at that point where you'relike oh, I did all the bad shit
.
Then like it's over, now, thisis just fun.
Like yeah, shit, okay.
But that's.
Hey, everyone's journey istheir journey.
It's like different.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
So what strategies do you use to step into someone
else's shoes and understandtheir reality?

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Strategies.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
I don't really think I have a strategy.
I just think I approacheveryone from the mindset of
we're not the same and yourupbringing is different.
My upbringing is different.
We may not have the same viewson things, but I can understand,
like you said, core, like I wassaying, core emotions.
I can understand what you'regoing through, I can relate to
that and I can always give youmy honest opinion.

(40:52):
But then you know I'm famousfor saying you know, but that's
just me, or you're grown Like I,you're growing like I'm.
I get myself an hour at the endbecause I'm, because I'm.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
I can only tell you how I view from my experience
your usual statement, andeverything I've heard is not
always, but your go-to is thatyou're a better man than me and
I was like this nigga, just fuck.
I was like.

Speaker 4 (41:21):
I mean, I do say that a lot shit.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
When I hear it, I'm like this nigga just threw shade
at me like I hate that.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
You better than me shit.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
I know it's not meant to be, but that's every time I
hear the phrase because a lot oftimes, especially when you're
like, you're describing to melike what you're going through
in this situation, and then I'llgive you my two cents on it,
and then I think about it andI'm like, nigga, I wouldn't do
it, I wouldn't put up with it,and I was like that's what I'm
saying you strong, you betterthan me, because I'll be

(41:50):
flipping tables around thisbitch.
My rap should be felt.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
I think the strategy that I've used is generally I
ask like three to five questions, and that's where I'll start.
So, like when someone's tellingme something, I might not know
what is happening, I try to givethem like the three to five
questions of like what's youknow what?
What, where is it coming from?
Like the emotion is behind itand everything, and then go from

(42:16):
there and then, once I get tothat fifth question, I kind of
have an idea of all right, thisis why this is happening, this
is the anger behind it, this isthe motion of reason behind it.
And then I can kind of go fromthere to have to understand what
empathy, because you know youcan only act, you only know what
you know.
So you just try to getinformation, as much information
as possible.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Yeah, oh, it's the strategy I don't don't know.
Just look at everything andeverybody.
I guess I'm weird, just likeeverybody you ain't got a guest.
Everybody got a story, likeeverybody deserves to tell their
story.
So fuck it, tell your story andI, just I'm here to listen the
reason why I say that?

Speaker 2 (42:55):
because on the flip side, I've had instances I was
talking about this last nightwhere a friend that you haven't
seen in years popped up on mydoorstep and was expecting help.
So when I asked what was goingon, I realized this nigga ain't
changed and he's not.
He's looking for a handout butnot help.

(43:16):
So you kind of understand thatcertain people like rest in
peace.
To a kind of understand thatcertain people like rest in
peace.
Uh, to a friend of ours thatthat that was trying to help him
.
He said it.
He said I don't think I canhelp him, bro, and it was one of
the things I understood is likehe's not if he's not willing to
help himself as far as getbetter yeah it's just a

(43:37):
perpetual cycle of just pleasehelp me.
Because he was disrespectful toeverybody in his like his mom,
etc.
So he was just so used topeople, just giving him yeah so
it's still.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
I still feel like I get.
I get what I need to know outof hearing the story yeah tell
your story and if it's hey, man,that's, that doesn't sound real
.
Make a judgment from there.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Cause I even tried to help in that moment and that
motherfucker snapped at me and Iwas like you know what.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
There's a limit.
Yeah, there's always a limit.
Yeah, it's pretty low.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Grow up.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
So there's some people need to.
And then that instance, hereally needed to grow up because
he burnt so many ridges.
So it was like at that point Ilacked empathy.
That don't happen.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
I don't know if it's a lack of empathy, if you just
hit a wall.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
This is as far as.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
I can go.
I think you showed your empathyin another form not whooping
his ass one you better than me.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
I I was going to huh you'd be fighting no, I don't
fight I can't fight.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
He don't.
He don't have to fight thisnigga strong.
You only take one punch.
One punch is not a fight, did?

Speaker 3 (44:53):
nobody ask you fan club.
Damn, thank you very much.
I'm talking to big fly.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
I might have empathy in this moment.
Kevin, I didn't know that youand I'm not gonna say what I
never seen you there youbasically did.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I tried not to be there I did.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
I thought that you was gonna be the previous man.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Let's see, I was gonna say I don't want to talk
about that.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
I just I just want to say I try to um, get through
life, not because I've repeatedhere.
My dad used to always reiteratethe consequences of those
actions and you got to reallythink about the consequence.
In this country, as soon as youdo one thing, they want to
label you something.
So that's what usually I hearin the back of my mind.

(45:35):
When I decided not take those,but I do.
There's been a few times and Ialmost got the ass whooped.
I'm curious what's been a fewtimes that motherfucker?
almost got their ass whooped.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
I'm curious what's your answer to the question?
What are your strategies?

Speaker 1 (45:50):
The crystals.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
No, it's not the crystals.
Okay, I typically ask peoplehow they need me to show up for
them, so that because Ipreviously would show up in the
fashion that I felt I needed itto be presented, but in more
recent days I just ask peoplehow they need me to show up for
them.
Why did you ask me that likethat?

(46:15):
Because I know you're going tosay something smart.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
No, I was going to.
No, I'm not saying what did Ido?

Speaker 4 (46:20):
I was going to.
I'm not saying what did I do.
I was going to say I need youto listen to Jersey.
What did I ask?
What the question?
I just wanted to hear youranswer.

Speaker 3 (46:27):
I'll be trusting you because you always got some
underlying shit that you'regoing to be on.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
Yes, I've said nothing, but good things about
you, you always North Korea,South Korea.
It's just always orange.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
What was that?
What was that?
What was that?
Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
I'm just making sure that people hear your take.
But people know Shit.
Yeah, now that you told them Igot it.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
What is the next question?

Speaker 4 (46:55):
Because I'm stuck in my head.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
I don't know why it's not even like a good.

Speaker 4 (46:58):
Oh, you know what?
This is off topic.
Can I say something off topic?
Get over it, get over it.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Get over it.
I'm right.
You're not right, kevin.
You don't even have to talkabout it, you're not right.
87 is not 87.1 is not betterthan.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
Confessions.
It's better than Confessions.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
And I told my wife that, listened to both of them
and I was like on 87, whenyou're feeling in your body, and
then I did the whole dance inthe car.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
But what's your favorite song from each?

Speaker 1 (47:28):
I skipped confessions one and went straight to
confessions two, because whowants that?
After you put out two?
Nobody, nobody, nobody.
Every time I was hitting likewhat's what's?
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boomboom boom.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
What's your favorite song on Confessions, confessions
.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Ooh, that's a good one, because that is a
masterpiece of an album as welltoo.
That's yours Number one, reallyFor personal reasons.
Okay, fair, fair, ah shit 87.01.

Speaker 4 (48:03):
I'd have to look at the track list.
Honestly, I don't remember 87on one.
I'm not a big Usher fan.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
You don't have to call.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
You got my.
That's just I like this video.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
That's a little hits.
That's a classic.
I like the video.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
My boo's on there Fucking.
I can't stand Alicia Keys.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
I don't think of the other one.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Right, what's the other one?
That's Dominique's favorite sheloves.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
Alicia.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
When she was in elementary school she used to
tell the teacher that at home wecalled her Alicia.
We didn't, we called her asDominique.
So the school would call and belike hi, I'm looking for the
parents of Alicia.
She did such and such at schooltoday and my mom is thinking
they're looking for someinteresting Alicia.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
They're looking for Dominique.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
She told these damn people that her name is Alicia
Keys at the house and the damnstupid ass school is calling my
house asking for.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Alicia Keys.
That's brilliant.

Speaker 4 (48:52):
Genius, the fact that no one confirmed with a parent.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
That's brilliant Genius.
It took a minute for my mom torealize like, okay, wait a
minute.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Oh, you've been doing shit.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
That's diabolical.
So she stole candy from theteacher and handed the shit out,
but they looking for Alicia'sass for the damn crime, but it
was Dominique.

Speaker 4 (49:11):
First of all, if she handed the candy out, that's
nice.
She's Robin Hood.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
That's nice Giving to the folks I like it.

Speaker 4 (49:19):
The teacher needed the goddamn candy anyway.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Giving to the folks.
I like it.
Kidding teacher, need a goddamncandy anyway.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Diabolical.
I love it.
She was mad as hell.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
What barriers have you encountered when trying to
understand someone else'sexperience?

Speaker 4 (49:31):
Their attitude.
That's all Des gave me Yep, Iknew that was coming.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
Ain't gonna keep giving you attitude Period.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Okay, in all honesty, it could be that attitude
period.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Okay in all honesty because when I'm nice to you,
then you say we're trying tofuck this.
And I'm definitely not tryingto fuck, so you have to get an
attitude.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
So I only say that when you comment on my
appearance well, nigga you, youlost weight hello, hello, hello,
nothing like that.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
ghetto, ghetto, ghetto that's the song stuck in
my head.
Uh, barriers it's almost likewe were talking about earlier,
like when people don't want tohelp themselves in that manner
that can throw a block in things, people not being receptive to

(50:23):
you, actually caring about themand just wanting something for
themselves.
You know what I mean?
That's not conducive to beingable to be open with somebody.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
So if it's a one way road, it's kind of tough to be
it's kind of tough to be I agreewith that Like when you don't
understand why they keep doingthings to put theyself in a bad
situation, whether it bephysical or mental, like they're
.
They're working against theircause for whatever, for whatever
reason.
They're trying to validate it,yeah, and they're doing more

(50:56):
damage than harm, but then theycome back and they're
complaining about it, but theseare self-inflicted wounds here,
so I can't help you if you keepstabbing yourself.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
I agree with that.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
I don't want to hand you the knife.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
Yeah, I definitely agree.

Speaker 4 (51:11):
So don't bring the Oreos to my house, please.
You can't stop, I can't stop.
I'll do the line real quick.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Oh Lord, that's nuts.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
Oreos and cheesecake.
Those are my two weaknesses.
Sweet potato pie.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
So Oreo cheesecake, Is that a problem?

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
Sweet potato cheesecake too.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
You remember that cheesecake I made then.
It was an Oreo cheesecake Iwould have, I would have.

Speaker 4 (51:43):
Glad you didn't know, because you would have ate the
whole thing.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
I would have just pulled up, just pulled the wall
down, like we eating thisbetween.
I'm sorry guys, I'm stilltrying to get.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
I'm still trying to get some more of my Montu's
pound cake.
That pound cake was good, youtried it.
That pound shit, we is a.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Montu's pound cake.
That pound cake was good, youtrying it.
That pound cake, shit we wasfed what's y'all's takes.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
I agree with what you two said.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
The pound cake was good.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
I didn't eat the pound cake, remember.
I left early that day.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Yeah, you commented on it a few times, like where.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
Oh yeah, he kept taking pictures of me.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
Yeah, you kept posting them.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
I'm like damn, I remember that day Because the
only thing I remember of thatday is the pound cake, because I
walked in, I spotted itimmediately.
I said that's a pound cake,right there.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Yes, you did.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
You did yes yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
I'm pretty sure it was in the foil too.
Yeah, yeah, it was definitelywrapped up and he saw it through
the fucking wrapping that thatwas a pound cake, a pound cake
as he was walking through thekitchen.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
he didn't even stop.
He said that's the pancake overthere, kept walking, I'll say,
with barriers that I'veencountered with dealing with
people is sometimes I I try tobe empathetic but then you
realize sometimes there are damnnear.
It's like when you deal withcomputer programs and there's

(53:11):
like a fail safe for certainthings.
It feels like in certainpeople's lives there's a fail
safe to to prevent someone fromtrying to help.
The situation, like maybe aparent's teachings or someone's
teachings has made them believethat what you're trying to help
and understand is impossible.

(53:33):
So you're saying, hey, you cantotally do whatever the fuck you
want to do and they're like butI can't because this was kind
of embedded in me.
So you're trying to understandhow that has so much more power
than trying to get to the it'svery hard to indoctrinate people
.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
Yeah, yeah, well, that's.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yeah, that's a self thing.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
But you got to become aware that you're indoctrinated
.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
That's the key, but you got to want to.
That you're indoctrinatedthat's the key, but you got to
want to be better too.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
Yeah, now you didn't trigger me.
Everything is Don't watch that,ruby Frank.
Fuck is that Fuckingdocumentary on Hulu.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
Who the fuck is Ruby.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
The lady that was a YouTuber that was abusing her
kids.

Speaker 4 (54:15):
Oh yeah, that bitch She'd die.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
Yeah.
She was like she claimed herkids had demons.

Speaker 4 (54:21):
Yeah, that's the one that was in Utah.
I can't watch stuff like thatand the boy broke up and that's
how they yeah, yeah, that bitchneeds to die.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
But when you were saying the husband in that
situation was completely hebelieved whatever the juice was,
that nigga knew.
I'm just saying, to a degreethough, it's like he believed
his wife, yeah, like whatevershe was saying he bought into it
.

Speaker 4 (54:44):
What's that syndrome, des that when the mother keeps
a kid sick?
Stockholm?

Speaker 3 (54:50):
No, that's not Stockholm, it's called
Munchausen she basically hadthat shit to the 10th degree.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
Oh, she had three kids, right.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
They had a total of six.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
I know it was a lot, I'm not gonna watch it.
She would like she would godays without feeding them and
shit oh no hell no she.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
I can't watch stuff like that.
I'd be mad as hell, did she?

Speaker 2 (55:10):
get a release date.
Oh, it was just 30 years inprison so she got a release date
okay 30 years didn father gettime to forever.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
No, he didn't get time.
He didn't get time was she like80 at least.
Now why he didn't get that'snot enough time, because he
literally cast him out yeah, shewas a stay-at-home mom, all he
really does this is why I'msaying that he was.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
He was under whatever belief that she was on at some
point because she had thistherapist that she was she had
some weird relationship with.
She told him at some point ourrelationship or our marriage
can't work.
I need you to leave until Idecide that you're allowed to
come back, so he literally leftfor over a year with no, no,

(55:51):
interaction with his familycouldn't be me.
Because she told him you can'tinteract with us until I decide
you're that I'm ready to bringyou, allow you back.
So he for a year didn't knowthis was happening, because she
literally told him you can'tmake contact with us because he
believed whatever the fuckbullshit she was on.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
These is niggas in palm color people.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
What the hell you think?
I said it when I saw it.
Only white people would do thisshit.
They were in Utah.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
Oh, utah, I didn't hear you say Utah.
Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, theseis palm colored pieces.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
oh my gosh, I can't replace this, my bad but the
fact that anyway, yeah, but whenyou said that, like that is
certain people, just becauseeven her son kept saying, well,
you know the belief, and it'slike you cannot like there's
certain people that are sofucking embedded in them that
they can't break until they wantto break, but so it's like

(56:42):
those barriers that I've seenwhere you can't force them out
of that, you mean like Aubrey.
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah thosebarriers, that those are the
barriers that to Nick, as thethe, the ones where they they
have such an embedded belief andit's like near a fail-safe, to

(57:03):
where it's like whoever madethem believe that left it there
and was like, yeah, good luck,trying to get them out of that
thought process.
So you're trying to likeunderstand where they're coming
from, but at the same time it'slike who the fuck put this here
to make you just it's just a web.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Yeah, it's how our entire government is set up
right now.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Well, I mean, I feel like it's been set up like a web
for a long time, yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
It's all loud like a motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
now it's loud.
Hell yeah.
Before we get out of here, Ijust want to say rest in peace
to Daniel.
I know him by Buck B-Naz Perez.
He did the original logo forthe Heavyweight Podcast.

(57:56):
He's a dope rapper, shit.
He would go to war with you andride with you in a heartbeat.
And I have fucking emails andinstances where I've had beef
with rappers and he was likenigga.
And he didn't say nigga, butlike who are we going to war
with?
And he would just be like, oh,I got this beat, we could rap

(58:17):
over this.
And he'd send me a verse likelike the ultimate, like if ally,
and and, uh, he woulddefinitely be missing a lot of
people.
And it used to always floor mebecause I would run into so many
people doing music.
I would go to like west covinaand do, uh, the b-side show and

(58:38):
then find out that one of theexecutive producers for the
b-side show knew, knew buckpersonally and essentially, buck
, if, really, if buck reallywanted to, he could took, he
could have taken over the wholeie as far as a movement, because
that's how deeply he was knownand loved, like that's my
neighbor, uh, because I postedthat and she was like, oh, you

(59:00):
talking about.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
I was like you don't know, buggy, I'm like how the
fuck?
And like, oh yeah, my cousin ishis cousin.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
I'm like, of course, yeah, of course and when you
hear the stories of like ciphersthat I've been in and and and
these stories it was usually atone of his parties or kickbacks
and we and the story always goeslike where I would come up to
him he was was like, let meguess you trying to get a cypher
going.
I was like, yeah, that's whyI'm here.

(59:25):
You know I'm here and me, himand Kevin.
They would get some drinks inthem and then we ended up having
a whole freestyle cypher.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
And we used to do that shit all the time Too long.
We were up till the morning,yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
A long time.
I mean that's where we gotknees nausea twice an hour.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Yeah, hey it was flowing and I was like I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
Hey, look at that knee Like, wait what Like?

Speaker 1 (59:54):
I mean, he probably wasn't wrong, they're delicious.
Yeah, they was they definitely,but man missed already you
won't truly be missed, man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
It's yeah, man, but I want to say rest in peace to
him.
Dope lyricist man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Yeah, love you, we love you, yeah and hold it down,
but again this has been episode188 of the we love you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Yeah and uh, hold it down, but uh again.
This has been episode one.
88 of the heavyweight podcast.
Like subscribe.
Share comment on that, uh, welove you guys till next time.
Peace, peace Well that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Yeah, that's that's how she wrote, so make sure you
click like subscribe.
Tune in.
We're on the Austrian platform,so until next time we'll
highlight you.