Invisible

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In a world where responsibilities often overshadow personal dreams, many feel unseen despite their sacrifices. Whether at home or work, the longing for acknowledgment is universal. We explore how these emotions shape roles like being a father or provider, and challenge misconceptions about strength and vulnerability. Even the strongest need support—let’s normalize checking in and offering empathy. It’s time to redefine resilience and ensure everyone feels valued.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

(00:25):
All right, what's good?
This is episode 186 of theheavyweight podcast.
I'm your anti-social host andnever your favorite, studding to
fly back again with this ladyand these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Chill Welch's Ah.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
Are you grape or prune juice?
Concord, it's your boy Molito.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
What's up everybody, it's your girl, des the diva.
I hope y'all miss me like I'vemissed you.
Welcome back, thank you, you'rewelcome.
Thank you, say it, maurice, upeverybody, it's your girl Des
the diva.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
I hope y'all miss me like I've missed you.
Welcome back, thank you welcomethank you say it, maurice.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Go on, molita.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
I didn't say nothing.
Kevin, how was your week?

Speaker 3 (01:15):
I mean, you just won't smoke before I'm not gonna
go ahead and say it I was gonnasay, before people start
speculating, that it was like acontract negotiation.
Now she was enjoying her life.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
It was definitely a tonight's conversation situation
.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
No, definitely we had to renew her contract, and then
you're gonna be mojo, jojo.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
I love the way she's I love the way she said that she
cracks me the hell up, I'll berolling over.
I can see how she can beexhausted and be around, but she
is funny yes, but I love her.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
She's funny tell me your week sir oh, lovely, lovely
, lovely that sound likeheartburn nah, it actually is.
I got Alka-Seltzer on deck atall times, my god, at all times.
That's good.
Hopefully get some good newssoon.
I had some interview forescuela, so I guess I should say

(02:09):
school.
I don't want to get shipped upout of here, but but I think
he's safe.
But it was good it was good,yeah, fingers crossed my week
was cool.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
It was, you know, heads up and down highlight with
my daughter gymnasticscompetition.
She did her thing, showed up,showed out, made us proud.
She was super happy.
I think the best part about theweek was her being happy, like
the joy on her face made me morehappy.
So yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
It was a cool week and can we get a hand clap for
her four medals?

Speaker 1 (02:47):
let's go come on that's my hell, yeah, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I guess, come on oh, you meant the button four medals
, like she did her thing, that'sdope she did her thing.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
We're proud of her oh , modest mo you know we're proud
of her.
Oh, modus mo, you know we'reproud of her.
Like the ghost said, job's notdone oh goodness, job's not done
.
We got two more to go beforestate job's not done you didn't
do that while you was there.
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't, but job's notdone.
I let her celebrate, but Idon't know.
Job's not done.

(03:21):
So she was back at practiceyesterday.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
She did a fabulous job.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
I dropped my done.
How was your year?
Yeah, yeah, we need a yearrecap.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
I had a great time.
Turn 40.
Bones immediately startcracking.
It was cracking before.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Stop that shit.
No, don't hate on me, becauseno, the fuck they wasn't In.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
December cracking before.
Stop that shit.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
No, don't hate on me, because no, the fuck they
wasn't.
In December I had knees likeMegan January, not so much which
Megan the stallion Fox, that isvalid.
The motherfucking stallion Son.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
There's a couple of them, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Was this poster?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm gonna stop you right there cause you laughed at
your own joke, so I know it'sabout to be some bullshit.
I do not have time for it?

Speaker 3 (04:15):
did you have full mobility in your?
Toe, oh boy let me tell youthree oh shit, shut up, I need

(04:38):
water.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Ooh, I need water not this nigga snorting McFly.
You're weak, sir.
Not this nigga snorting mcflyyour week sir my week was cool.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Um, I uh went to work fuck that place.
Oh, pick the kids up.
I like I had a.
I told you the conversation.
I'm gonna fucking have theconversation, uh.
So they brought me in theoffice, for they call it
coaching, and any driver outthere knows what the fuck that
means.
Now, uh, they bring you in theoffice, they review camera uh,

(05:13):
you're driving and they want totalk about your uh, your habits.
But when I walked in there, uhshout out the ray.
He looks at me and he goeswhat's up, man?
Uh, what time you start?
I said I started at eight inthe morning.
He's like did you work, uh,nice last week?
I said no, I didn't.
He's like, um, well, this ain'tyou.
I said, oh, that's, that's notme.

(05:35):
He's like nah, man, this issomebody at night.
So, yeah, there's no, uh, wedon't have to review anything.
And he was like how was yourweekend, man?
I said it was cool.
You know, I'm saying I went tothe gym and played uh,
basketball, uh, at the gym withmy boy, patrick, and he goes oh,
that's what's up.
What gym you go to?
I said, uh, powerhouse amenity.
And then he goes oh, man, I wasgonna sign up for that gym.

(05:56):
I said oh shit, where do youlive?
He goes uh, I live right downthe street.
I said oh, so you live in thesame area as I do.
That's what's up.
And then we began to talk aboutwhere he stays.
And then we realized he was thenext door neighbor of Patrick.
He's a family of the show.
And I proceeded to tell him oh,when you see Patrick again,

(06:19):
tell him 6-0.
He'll know what that means.
And he goes oh, ok, it was likethat.
I said, yeah, let's ask him whyit was 6-0.
So I whooped Patrick's ass inbasketball 6-0, and then I
remember, in the middle of thatass whooping, he asked me why I
wasn't that tired yet.
Shout out to Body Barbatino.
Shout out to Body Barbatino,but yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
I ought to flatten the ball before we got to six
hell yeah, if I gotta ask youwhy you not tired, there's a
motherfucking problem.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
First of all, y'all think the six-oh is the bad part
.
He took an L when he got to thegym with the hairline.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
I knew that was coming.
I knew that was coming he got abad hairline.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
If y'all would have thought of a pick, I said come
on, patrick always to him.
Come on, patrick, I'm not in it, and I know when he hear this,
I can hear him right now sayingfuck you, mo Nigga.
Come on, you saw the picturetoo.
You look ridiculous, nigga.
Come on, you make it look bad.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Pick a side, what are you saying Like LeBron's
picture?

Speaker 4 (07:14):
No, nigga, when he had that donkey like oh, you
gotta just cut it bro.
That nigga had a Jefferson withhalf top.
It started here and I was likePatrick.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Come on, bro.
Did you say he was doing apermanent salute?

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
He's up there with Stephen A.
I'm like God damn Patrick.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Shout out to Patrick man, that's my boy, though.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
I mean, Patrick, you always talk shit.
I talk shit a lot.
I talk shit because I like you,I know the real reason why you
lost those games.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
You talk shit, because what?

Speaker 4 (07:41):
Not you.
No, hell, no, you said it.
I talk shit because I like youyou said it.
Patrick good dude, you setyourself up for that.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
You said it.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
Patrick a good dude.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
He just he did something to the head.
You know why he lost that gamewith those Paul Georges?
He shouldn't have wore thosegames.
Yeah, that's yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:59):
You don't wear those george's.
The job is already finished ohman yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
So shout out to him, shout out to ray their neighbors
, you know um paul george missedthe first round uh, I had a.
Well, see, I'm conflicted right,I was conflicted right, using
your influence.
I was walking out on thursdayto pick the kids up, so I left
work early and I was, I waszoned out and I was walking out
of Thursday to pick the kids up,so I left work early and I was,
I was zoned out and I waswalking out of the building and

(08:29):
I was, uh, there was a chickthat was walking past me and I
hear you like Kendrick Lamar.
I said who she was.
Like you, you like KendrickLamar, I said, uh, does she?

Speaker 4 (08:39):
know that Kendrick's like five foot five.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
I.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
I is like five foot five.
I.
I just I don't know, do peoplenot realize?

Speaker 3 (08:47):
that you're over six.
You're six feet tall.
Wait, you're, you're.
You're not a small human being.
I don't think she was going byheight or just this face.
I think she was going by evenhairstyle I don't think it was.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
So you got mixed twice.
Who?

Speaker 4 (08:57):
because you got, they thought you was driving yeah,
what was this person of the uhother complexion?

Speaker 3 (09:06):
she was not white.
No, oh was she.
I think she meant it as acompliment, but I was just kind
of like it threw me because Inever.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
That was never a comparison I've ever heard in my
life.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
If she ever said that to you again, look her dead in
her face and say stop trying tofuck oh, but I'm not tired of
you saying that y'all don't saythat at work, don't say that at
all, I don't yeah I like all Idon't.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
He was off the clock.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
I like money it feels like a bad idea.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
He was off the clock.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
It doesn't matter, I like money On premises.
I was still on premises.
Yeah, he was off the clock.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
I'm tired of you saying that it's a private
conversation.
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
But yeah, that threw me.
It did that because I gavePatrick a ass whooping, so
anyway, that was my week, so arewe safe to get into the
shenanigans?

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Let's do it.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah, yeah, you guys, let me pick.
I don't know Des.
You need the napkins.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
I might.
It's like my beer, you neverknow.
Tissues Depends on what youmight say.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
I don't know, I don't have my waterproof mascara
today, all right, so that's notgood for you.
Since you guys, let me pick, I'mgoing to pick one of the topics
that at the time was importantto me this week, because all
these are usually curated bywhat's going on in the weeks,
our lives.
So this I call it.
The topic is called you matter,right.
So this week, the reason whythis came to be was I was I was

(10:27):
talking to marise earlier in theweek.
I don't know why he's laughing,I was talking I'm laughing
because you said you matter.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
I say, except for drake you ignited?

Speaker 3 (10:37):
so I was working during the week and it was it
was a day where I didn't reallytalk to anybody and I was
working and I realized that.
And it was a day where I didn'treally talk to anybody and I
was working and I realized thatand it was amplified for some
reason that day and I waswalking into my customers'
buildings and just getting thetrailers and moving and I
realized no one noticed me, likeI could walk in and out like a

(10:58):
ghost and no one would haveknown.
And then I was walking in andout of the break rooms at work
and I realized no one even.
I was like in and out of thebreak rooms at work and I
realized no one even— I was likeI felt like—I literally felt
like a ghost, like I could moveanywhere and no one would notice
.
So I ended up eventuallytalking to Maurice that day and
he asked me how I was doing andI told him.

(11:18):
I said I did feel invisibletoday.
So that's where that stems from.
So what does being invisiblemean to you guys?

Speaker 1 (11:26):
Not that, because I would love that shit.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Me too.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
If I could walk in the room.
It's work.
Are you serious?
Hell?
Yeah, I think.
For me it feels more likefeelings not being validated is
invisibility to me, becauseinstead of I don't think of it
as vision, because getting inthe routine of stuff and just

(11:53):
being expected of things and notlike thinking of that stuff.
But when you don't go beyondthat, don't go beyond how you're
feeling, how you're doing andany of that stuff, if nobody
asks or shows any sort of Idon't know the word, it's not
compassion, I don't know theword, I'm looking for.
But you know what I'm sayinggratitude or whatever
consideration, things of thatnature it almost feels invisible

(12:16):
, like, yes, you're expected todo this, but it would be nice,
like a little attaboy, so that'sit sounds like you're saying
like we don't get some form ofappreciation.
Yeah, at times that happens ohyeah, I get it.
Get out of here Shit.
So that's the invisibility tome.

(12:38):
But yeah, it's not a visiblething Because, yeah, if I could
do it, it hell.
Yeah, I'm walking in and outbaby.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
I see this as kind of like two-sided right, similar
to what you said, kevin.
Like I do think it's um, like,uh, both like being seen as far
as physically being seen, andalso because like andy's and
we're talking about beingphysically seen right, and also
like the the um, because we'reall human, so we have the

(13:09):
inclination to want to be seenlike on an emotional level as
well as like what kevin's saying.
So I do see it as being acombination of both and how I
can see, from time to time, oneside way heavier than the other,
um, but similar, I mean, Ithink, physically being seen.
I'm one of those people Ireally don't want to be seen.
I I do like, and if when I wantto be seen, you'll know,

(13:32):
because I'll actually I'll makeit a point to for my presence to
be um, known.
But there I do have times, likewhen I'm out, like francis,
sorry, sorry.
So when I'm out in public, so,like me and my wife, we got, we
got our, we got our routine orwhatever, and so when we leave
the gym we go to, you know, wego get our protein, coffee, all
that stuff, right, and so everyday it's the same guy.

(13:59):
Now it's a black guy.
I, you know the youth footballteam and my wife talked to him.
Oh, she's polite, I'm not.
I'm like nigga, I don't want totalk to you and it's just like
that.
I don't want to be seen, don'tbother me.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
You don't say that, do you?

Speaker 4 (14:11):
No, I say have a good day.
Oh okay, have a good day.
Not today, have a good day.
So, like in those type ofsituations where I feel like
your, your interaction would beas a as a distraction for what
I'm trying to achieve in themoment, I would prefer to be

(14:33):
invisible in those moments.
Now, I do agree with Kevin.
Like we all do have a desire tobe seen and appreciated in some
way, and which is importantespecially for, you know, in
situations like relationshipsand fatherhood like you want,
you want, you want to be seen,you want your actions to be
validated, because who doesn'twant to be validated?
That's just part of being human.
So I do see this as being likea two sided thing.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I agree with them, niggas.
I mean, they said it so well,this is what we were waiting for
, yep, for two months, and I'venever I don't know, I've never
not been physically seen, so Idon't know what that feels like,
but definitely emotionally notseen.
I've experienced that.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
So I agree with these two next year and I thank you
all for making me chuckle in theor or letting me know that you
got me, because you guys allresponded in your own way what
because kevin was like, uh, roba bank.
And then you said I see you.
And then you were like, if youwant to talk, so like you guys,
all right.
So I appreciate that.

(15:41):
We love you, I appreciate thatwe love you.
I appreciate that truthfully.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
You know who really see you?
Alaric?
Oh yeah, he see everything Ieat.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Oh, he's so cute.

Speaker 4 (15:53):
Yeah.
Oh man, he's going to be aproblem.
I like him.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
So when and where do you experience invisibility?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Oh, at my house with Hayden Daddy is where I feel the
most invisible Hope, his asssee this.
We can clip it, don't clip it.
I said what I said and I saythat because the current job
that I have I absolutely feellike they see me there.
That's probably one of the bestcompanies I've ever worked for.

(16:26):
They're very good at makingsure that you are in a good
space mentally.
They hear you out, yoursuggestions are taken seriously,
so that's not an issue rightnow.
In my friend group I'venarrowed that down to women that
I can and the male friends thatI have that I can pour into
them and they can pour into me,so that I can, and the male
friends that I have that I canpour into them and they can pour

(16:47):
into me.
So that's going good.
It's the damn Hayden's daddythat don't listen to nothing I
say and that is where I feelinvisible in the living room
yeah, that's like that's acommonplace.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
It's the truth.
I mean I'll feel that at homeand stuff with the, with my wife
and the kids sometimes, butI'll usually at home.
It's easier for me to expressmyself.
So when I feel that way, it'sexpressed more like at work.
I'll feel that sometimes, butI'll prefer that at work because

(17:26):
, like, if I'm not being seen,I'm probably not doing bad.
At least you know what I mean.
But when I'm doing good, thesemotherfuckers just let me be.
That's when I just kind of juststart doing bad on purpose fuck
it.
I'm gonna do what I want.
Let's do what I want well, thoseare like the main places,

(17:50):
because friends group I mean youjust, we got everybody got
their own lives.
So I don't expect shit to belike a certain way, like when
it's with friends and I don'tspeak or we don't see each other
or hear from each other, like I, just it's easier to just all
right, let's reach out and wecould make it happen to make it
happen.
If not, it's not like one ofthose things where I'm like, oh,
we don't see each other or hearfrom each other, like I, just
it's easier to just, all right,let's reach out if we could make
it happen to make it happen.
If not, it's not like one ofthose things where I'm like, oh,
you don't see what I've gotgoing on.

(18:10):
I'm like you got everythinggoing on too.
So it's, it's usually justthose two places, like the
grocery store and shit.
Hell yeah, let me be invisible.
Hell yeah, it's the the commontwo for me.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
I can't really say that I've felt invisible lately
because I've been in the sameenvironments.
The only environments I'vereally been in is home and gym
and I definitely didn't feelinvisible at work because for
some people people are just liketalking to me and telling me
random shit I don't care aboutand I know the management's
always watching, so I know theysee.

(18:51):
Don't feel invisible there,especially when you got a
certain coworker that texts youlike.
Was that just you here?
I saw you here.
I was like god damn nigga, youpaid attention more to me than
cops.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
What up, Mark?

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Like he sees you driving.
Yeah, oh hell, no, yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
Did you just make a left right here, like god, nigga
, where was you Like oh?

Speaker 3 (19:10):
no, what up, tucker oh not you calling him out.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
So oh, you got two.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
Same person.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
Oh, so yeah, like I can't really say I felt
invisible.
I think the only place Iprobably felt, on a more
personal level, I felt invisibleto myself because, you know, a
lot of times recently I'velooked in the mirror and didn't
know who I was or I didn't seemyself and trying to find myself
or the new version of myself,after dealing with all the stuff

(19:39):
I was dealing with and, youknow, in my process of healing,
trying to see who I actually amin this moment, because I've had
a lot of changes where, youknow, certain things that I was,
you know, fond of or into I'mnot anymore.
Certain things that used tointerest me don't interest me.
So it is like I am finding outmyself to be a different person.
So a lot of times I look like Ihad a whole conversation with

(20:02):
my wife yesterday but I don'tlike.
A lot of times I look at myselfand I don't, I don't know who I
am and a lot of times I look atmyself I don't like, like I
really don't like the decisionsI made and like the younger
version of me was really not thesmartest sometimes.
So I think the only place Iprobably really do feel
invisible is probably in themirror.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
That was deep.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
That was a great answer, is it?

Speaker 4 (20:26):
what we waited for two months ago.
What I mean, I don't.
She's trying to validate.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'm sorry shut your ass, nigga.
See, that's what I was lookingfor.
See, that's that shit I betalking about shut your ass did
you call me ignorant nigga?
I mean, did you just call meignorant nigga?

Speaker 1 (20:42):
no, he said he wanted , I wanted the ignorance I mean
sometimes.
Did you just call me ignorant?
No, he said he wanted theignorance.
I wanted the ignorance.
I mean sometimes the actions.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Don't look over here, mcfly.
Wait for me to say somebullshit.
I can see you out the corner ofmy eye, mcfly, or you feel
invisible.
Nigga, go ahead.
I was, nah.
I ain't gonna let you get byBecause I got.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
I got a question I didn't you feel invisible.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
Go ahead, I was, I was.
You know, I ain't gonna let youget by, I got.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
But I, I got, I didn't uh, yeah, I know I was
like he he did it.
I was like I wonder how manytimes I can do this without them
noticing.
Um, all right, so, um, that youguys touched on it.
It's it is a usually at homething where you feel the most
invisible.
For me, it it's because you'reexpected to do so many things so

(21:25):
frequently that it's kind of anexpected thing and they don't
realize that you're more thanthe provider.
You're a person who has wantsand dreams and aspirations and
passions, and sometimes when youget so caught up in the, in the
hamster reel of of doing thingsin life, that you kind of feel

(21:49):
invisible because it's like ohyeah, if you're not providing
this for me, then what are youreally?
Um, outside of that is what youstart questioning about
yourself.
Um, uh, so there at work, it'snot necessarily a bad thing,
it's just I just realized and ithit me when, when I was working
, like damn, like I really could, just like I could grab some

(22:12):
shit, walk the fuck by and walkout, no one would notice like,
oh damn, was he here?
Yeah, the only thing probablycatch me is the cameras are like
gotcha nigga, but um, oh, thatwas always other than that, but
it was just, yeah, that usuallyit's.
It's that um at home, when youjust try to, when you're

(22:34):
realizing that you're doingsomething so frequently that, uh
, the fact that it feels likethat's all you are is that, and
um, it does take a lot from likelike mo pointed out your
identity because you, you'relike, damn, am I just this or am
I?
I gotta?
There's got to be somethingmore than this, um, so that that

(22:56):
that leads to the questioningand I may be feeling alone in
those instances, um, but yeah,so I answered that, yeah, I'm
cool.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, of course I don't need to go back and answer
the other ones, and I agreewith the way that you described
home, because that's the samething I'm experiencing.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
It does get.
It takes a toll because youstart feeling and questioning
yourself and you put so muchenergy into now the questioning,
as opposed to just fuckingfiguring out or actually
aspiring to to make more meaningof it.
So you're spending so muchenergy and time on it it becomes
draining as opposed to youfeeling fulfilled.
Um, I like the freestyling shit.

(23:40):
Let me see.
Um, what do you wish peoplewould see and celebrate about
you?

Speaker 4 (23:47):
see and celebrate see , when I hear that I, I, I, my
my initial answer would benothing, because I don't really
need people to celebrate me.
I if the only people I reallywould want to be celebrated by
is my family.
But what do you want them tocelebrate about?
Just just my contribution tothe, to their lives and by my

(24:08):
level of provision and the levelof comfort I provide them.
That's it.
It's like going back to whatKevin was saying.
It's just like the feeling ofappreciation, like just enough
appreciation to confirm to methat, yeah, I'm doing the right
thing and give me enoughmotivation to go harder.
I don't really need praise fromthe outside to go harder.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
I don't really need praise from outside, but it does
become a uh, a tasking, ataxing thing when you think like
when you come home, they'relike hey dad, uh, I need this.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
And you're like man, you know, I got cussed out the
other day because I told her.
I told her on, so she left hertoothpaste open so it got like
kind of you know crusty orwhatever, so she couldn't use no
more.
I said, okay, I'll buy you.
I'll buy you toothpaste, justuse mommy day toothbrush for now
.
And so a couple of days went bywithout me bringing home
toothpaste.
So I then I basically gotcussed out by a seven year old.
You said that.

(24:57):
I went.
I said okay, so I made sure.
Yesterday I said look, becauseyour mouthwash is low so don't
bother me for at least anotherthree weeks.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Wait till they shoot a teenager?

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Oh, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Like that shit.
Oh man, you just come back andyou're like oh, my shit's just
missing.
You're like oh, it's just inyour bathroom.
Yeah, you just took it.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
It's that way with the body wash.
She would just come like whenshe she's like I'll just, I'll
grab you a mommy's body wash.
I was like what?

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Oh, mine was out.
Do you know that bottle was $15?
That's not for you, that's notfor you.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
We got this, mr Bubba .

Speaker 4 (25:40):
You probably have some Irish spring around here.
That's funny.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Uh, to be honest, for me, I think for what I want
people to see is I want to saycompassion, my compassion, but
like that I actually am likerooting for people, like even
like strangers and shit, like Isee people and I like actually
am rooting for them because,like you can tell, some people
are like apprehensive aboutstuff and being open with things
, because I guess the world isso confrontational, nobody
believes that anybody isactually genuine when they're
like oh hey, I like that or thisor whatever it's like.
Sometimes that shit sucks whenyou like and you can just tell

(26:22):
it's just like a fake, like ohyeah, yeah, thanks, you're like
no, I mean that Like I reallywant you all to do good, but I
don't necessarily want that tobe celebrated, but I guess that
would be good because that wouldmean more people hopefully
would be willing to like expresstrue, like emotions and like
gratitude and things of thatnature.

(26:43):
So that would be kind of likethe biggest thing I would want
people to like know or see outof me myself.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
Well, I want you to know, Kevin, I give you a
compliment.
I mean that because I don'tgive compliments.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
I appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
You know I don't like people he gives out compliments
for specific people andeverybody else.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
He's on stage.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Other people get smoked Well.
I appreciate smoked well.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't have anything that I, that I need anybody to
celebrate.
I wish, however, people wouldstop referring to me as strong,
because I feel like.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
I'm telling you.
It's a myth.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
I've heard it does wonders in certain situations
probably.
Yeah, I'm telling you it's ameth.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
I've heard it does wonders in certain situations.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Probably.
Yeah, I think when you look atwomen as anybody, as strong, you
tend to pile more on them, butwhen you carry something as if
it's gentle, soft or delicate,you take care of it that way,
you nurture it that way.
So I'm kind of tired of peoplecalling me strong because I feel

(27:57):
like they think she's strong,she got it and sometimes, nigga,
I ain't got it that's how Ifeel about money.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Ah, that's my average reaction but you feel like you
ain't got.
I know I ain't got it.
Yeah, I ain't got it, I ain'tgot it.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
I ain't got it, so you got you.
Good, no, no, I'm not, reallynot, I'm really I don't.
No, I don't not today.
Inflations, yeah, for real it'san interesting take.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
So you don't take that as a compliment.
Would you rather be referred toas delicate?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
I just don't want so much emphasis put on my
strengths Because, for example,people are always like oh, you
lost all those babies, you'restrong.
Oh, you go through this andthat you're strong, but inside
I'm losing my fucking mind.
But I'm just cool on theoutside because I don't give
that much of me to everybody andI and I feel like because of it
, other people that may havegone through the certain

(28:59):
situations, if they don't appearas strong as I appear, you give
them more love and not you but,like other people, give them
more love in nurturing, whereasme they just feel like I got it.
So the nurturing doesn't come,the love doesn't come, the
support doesn't come becausethey're like you got it.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
So the importance of saying you need to check on your
strong friends.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, yes, exactly, precisely yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
Because a lot of people assume well, I don't need
to do that for them, they gotit.
Yeah them, they got it.
Yeah, and it's like you got tocheck on your strong friends too
, and I I I get that, and the.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
The thing, too with the.
The delicate part, though, ishow I look at it.
If it stays that way, after awhile people just start saying
that person's victim, playingvictim that's true, that nature,
so it's like it's a tough,that's a tough one, that's a
tough one.
So that's, that's good to know,that's true.
But people gotta stop doingthat too, because you one,
that's a tough one.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
So that's good to know, that's good to know,
that's true but people gottastop doing that too, because you
can't put a time limit on howlong it take for a nigga to heal
, that's true that's why Istated what I stated, that it's
people assume to know somebodyand don't have a fucking clue
yeah, that's all the

Speaker 3 (30:06):
time.
Well, I'll say on, this is tobe seen and celebrated.
I talked to Maurice about thisa lot, but it doesn't bug me
anymore as far as I understandwhy it's happening.
It's.
The perfect example I can giveis even when social media is an

(30:26):
example right is even whensocial media is an example right
.
If, say, some random person youwent to high school with shares,
an accomplishment their kid didor something, and you'll have
all your classmates go oh my God, congratulations, that's so
dope.
But then you do the same thingand they go oh my God.

(30:47):
That person's just searchingfor attention and it's like but
I'm just doing, I'm trying tocelebrate my kid, like you're
celebrating your kid, but the,the, the common phrase or term
comes is it's cool until it'syou and the other.
I guess the, the backing thingfor that is you don't know if

(31:09):
it's they have smoke with you orif they think even to the, to
the point of what des is saying,they think you're the person
that has it together.
So I don't need to give you thecompliment.
They need my compliment.
You don't need it, you know.
I'm saying like you don't knowif it's a phrase of if it's
coming from a place of uh, illintent, or if they're just
looking like you don't know.
If it's a phrase of if it'scoming from a place of ill
intent or if they're justlooking like, I don't need to

(31:30):
say prophecy, you're alreadydoing it.
You know what I'm saying.
I think that comes from.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
I think it comes from a place of shade.
What they just they.
They would prefer to throwshade on you than the hell
partner star.
Because they, because theyapart there's something about
your post or about youpersonally that offends them,
because they don't equal up toit.
Because all people do on socialmedia is compare their lives to

(31:55):
other people's lives.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Yeah, oh, that's not what.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
I do.
I mean, I said people, I'mtalking in general, I'm not
talking not everybody, but youknow most people.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
I use that as an example because I do see that
the most common certain peoplewill post things and everybody
will like fucking flood, it,flood the gates and the other
person do the same exact thing.
They're like oh my god, they'rejust looking for attention and
it's like but I?
The whole point of social mediais that.
Isn't it like when you want,you want the like high five,
when you do something good, justlike when you're going going

(32:26):
through shit, like you wantpeople to say I got you, like we
get it.
Like, um, there's that darkside too, yeah.
So like when I look at beingseen, it's more or less just
saying dude, like I get that.
You might look at me and say,hey, like, yeah, you, you did it
, you got beautiful kids, youdid it.

(32:46):
You fucking have a dope job orwhatever like to what they see
as dope, but they don't see whatyou go through with those
things.
So it's like yeah, like I wouldlike a high five on occasion.
I don't need your fuckingpraise like that, but like yeah
like.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, acknowledge me.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
Acknowledge that I am doing it because there's a lot
of motherfuckers that you'regiving praise to that.
Don't really do it.
Yeah, you know what doing it,because there's a lot of
motherfuckers that you're givingpraise to that.
Don't really do it.
Yeah, you know.
Then it's like so you'll havelike I don't like deadbeat dads
that'll pretend to show up halfthe time and be like, oh, I'm
such a dope father and they'relike oh, my god, you're a great
dad, knowing that they only seetheir kid once.
Uh, whatever blue moon, butthen they're fucking people
flooding them for it.
When you you're actuallyshowing up every day and you're

(33:29):
exhausted every day andeverybody's going ah, this
nigga's just looking.
You're like but nigga, I dothis every day.
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like if I post three times aweek, just know that there was
like fucking fucking 200 fuckingsituations happen and you're
only getting a glimpse of thethree things that I'm just proud
of in those moments, cause Ithought, I thought to pull my
camera out and take a picture ofthe moment.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Like but you got to know what the like with the
deadbeat shit.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
whoever posts their comments on there like oh look,
he's trying, so it's like it'scrazy to think of when you when
you think about it, because it'snot none of the when you think
about it, because it's not noneof what we do is an easy task,
especially when you're trying todo it because you realize what
it takes or what requires toshow up.
That's the biggest part of thebattle is showing up.

(34:17):
Not everybody wants to show up.
They want the credit forshowing up, but not everybody
actually wants to show upbecause there's hard time to get
.
It's the work you just kind oftriggered.
People don't want to work I'mgonna tell this story because I
think I told it, but it's beenso fucking long for my brain.

(34:38):
I told you a story when I atthe the parent teacher
conference, right, yeah and thewhole time I've been hearing how
old ava's uh teacher is, right.
So I'm hearing, oh, he's old,he's old, he's old.
So I'm like, all right, cool,I'm looking for this old
geriatric nigga.
So I walk into a classroom andI'm like this nigga's about my

(34:58):
age.
I think, yeah, his hair is gone, uh, but yeah, I'm pretty sure
we're the same age.
Then he saw my sweater.
He was like, oh, deadpool,you're a deadpool fan.
I'm like we're the same age.
Then he saw my sweater.
He was like oh, deadpool,you're a Deadpool fan.
I'm like we're the same age,you might be younger than me,
and I'm like I've been hearinghow old this nigga is the whole
time, right.
But so we have a conversationabout Ava's work and the word

(35:29):
like we're going over.
Then I'm also thinking, if youthink this nigga's old, then
what did he think of me?
Ancient.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Ava was the one telling you he was old.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
Not just Ava, oh, I heard it for like a few months
Like, oh yeah, ava's teacher isold, he's like an older guy and
I'm like thinking thinking, oh,this nigga's like in his 50s,
sick.
I said this nigga's, we're inthe same age bracket oh yeah and
I may be like, if y'all, ify'all, think he's old, then what
the fuck do?
What am I looked at we old.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Well, see that old I'm 39 and my daughter's and my
daughter's eyes.
I've graduated.
I used to be.
I used to be half fat, halfskinny.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
Now she said, I've graduated to skinny fat you know
, what's funny is every, as yousaid, that my brain, all my
brain chalked it up to, is shityou put in coffee she said I'm
skinny fat that is funny soyou're, you're, you've moved up
and I moved up skinny first inreference to what you're feeling
.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I'm wondering how many women feel that way,
because I honestly, I think whenwomen post their children,
everybody says something underunderneath it.
And I'm wondering how many dadsfeel that way, because I will
say, the hayden daddy isactually a good-ass daddy and I
see very few good-ass daddies.
I think you guys are phenomenalfathers, but then I I know

(36:46):
quite a bit of deadbeat daddiesand I do see people wiping their
puck asses up underneath theirposts and I'm wondering oh my
God, You're so great.
Women don't.
I don't think women.
I don't have children, but Idon't think women.
Well, hell, even when I postHayden, I'm not even that nigga
mama and people still be undermy posts celebrating Hayden.
I can honestly see how thatcould be a damn problem.

(37:07):
And it's only happening to men,because I do not see that
happening to women.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
My wife and I.
We both have the same pictureand have a similar post and she
can get twice, but at the endshe has more friends than me
because she's sociable.
I'm not.
I usually comment under yoursbecause I see yours.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I don't really see her, but I'll see yours and then
I'll comment I celebrate everydamn body, though.
I will celebrate every damnbody, whether I know you or not
you doing something dope, oryour kid did something dope.
I'm gonna say somethingunderneath it, but I, I can see
how you, how you could feel thatway, because I now that when
you were speaking, I wasthinking this shit don't happen
to women yeah, it happens a lotlike you'll see it and you'll be

(37:45):
like I know for a fact thisnigga's a deadbeat and they'll
go.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
Oh my god, you're like he's doing so great.
And you're like right, right,right he was there for 30
minutes right like that likethat movie I'm here to pick up
my son.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
He picked the son up, put him down and walked out,
but um, yeah, it's just yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
To be seen in that light, then it's also I mean, I
don't care about it as much.
Now.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
People are anticipating me making music now
, so that's nice to feel againnow what I'm saying, like
unanimous, like I guess I'm notpeople, oh my god well I think
you do not understand how manypeople love you.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
I swear to God, I'm telling you I had a conversation
with somebody and he was likeMcFly is hip-hop and I'm on the
phone like Rick, tell me more.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
It's so weird to me because I have a skeptical
reaction to that, because ifthey tell everybody else but the
person, it's kind of weird.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
You ain't lying.
But I get it a lot, though.
I hear a lot of people saypositive things about me,
because if they, can't saypositive things to you and then
they don't react to your shit.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
It's kind of weird to be like hey man, that guy dope.
Oh, there's an opportunity totell him he's dope myself.
Nah, I'm not gonna do that shit.
It's weird, like it's so.
It's kind of you becomeskeptical, like Niggas might be
shy around you Shy.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
It happens.
Maybe they're intimidated.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
It happens that does happen, they're afraid that
they're gonna get a Mauricereaction.
Stop trying to fuck.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Oh, because, baby, I told Maurice his wife look great
and he was like, don't betrying to fuck who, I'm shit, I
was just god she looked great.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
I'm sorry, shut up um , but yeah, I would just like to
be celebrated for being tryingto be a dope person, just not as
a dad, but just as a person.
I try to look out for people asmuch as I can and uh, shit I
hear like on occasion I'll talkto like peers at work and

(39:51):
they'll ask me about the podcastand I'll try to give insight to
what, like what it took to putin a podcast, because people
have asked me about what ittakes to make a podcast and I
try to be informative so peopletry to like keep that shit to
themselves.
It's like I just I can justgive the information or insight
that I know about uh, actuallygetting off the ground.

Speaker 4 (40:13):
So only give information.
I know people are genuinegenuine about starting shit that
makes sense because I got, Igot one cousin.
You know the fuck, you areniggas, I'm not replying to you.
Stop texting me, oh my god.
And the fact that you gotyou're not even texting me the
fact that you got to hit me up amessage on my phone number
should let you know nigga, don't, I don't talk to you that's why
I say to co-workers and they'relike how, how is mo doing?

(40:34):
I'll be like, if you have I mean, if you have a number, I think
it's five people in that goddamnuh job got my number so what do
you see and value incelebrating others, your peers?
Oh yeah, okay, I'm happy yousaid tears, because my mind went
first um you, you ignorant, umI don't know.

(40:56):
I I get a high off ofcelebrating other people like I
feel really good pouring intoother people I heard that you
get that same effect when you docoke off of titties I.
I'm hearing this thing, aboutmeth.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
I wouldn't know about when you do coke off the table
and I'm hearing this thing about.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
About meth and ejaculating, oh God, with cops
present.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
And was there a video for that?
They didn't post no video.
They didn't post a video.
I wouldn't look for it.
It's considered porn.
He was naked.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
He was fondling himself.
It was considerable.
It would be kind of crazy tohave him with his pants around
his knees fighting off 15 copswhile jerking off?

Speaker 3 (41:36):
That would be fucking weird.
He would have to have no.

Speaker 4 (41:39):
My initial thought to that story was that I think
meth is the perfect pre-workout.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Get the fuck out of town, so anyway.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
Huh, you didn't gonna work out If he fought five cops
.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
He had to fight, but you'd be cleaning the shit.
You'd be like 15.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
I swear to God that's nuts, no pun intended there.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Anyways, I enjoy pouring into people.
I definitely love it.

Speaker 4 (42:13):
I enjoy pouring into some people.
Once I feel deserving.
Now I feel like I'll get thetypical I'll see what you're
doing.
But the people I really pourinto, which is mostly my close
friends and my family, I'll pourinto them.
When I see them doing good,when I see them really sticking
to their goals or achieving ortrying to improve, I support

(42:35):
them.
I have no problem celebratingpeople taking the proper steps
in life.
But if you're not, I'm not.
I don't give no fake love.
I'm going to tell you, nigga,you need to fucking up.
Don't know that.
But if you're not, I'm not.
I don't give no fake love.
I'm going to tell you, nigga,you need to fucking up.
Yeah.
And on a more personal level, Ialways celebrate my wife.

(42:58):
Yeah In that ass, because themRDLs is helping.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Okay, kevin.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
You want to go.
After that, You're going to putit on, Never mind.
That was a muscle pause.
The importance I think would be.

Speaker 4 (43:19):
Oh, hold on.
I also want to say I appreciateKevin Wendell for giving me his
login so I could watch.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
For cable, not like OnlyFans or nothing.
We got to clean that up.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
I was going to just leave it open.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Yeah well, we got to clean that up.
Pause.
That's the meth nigga, right?
That's what they said when theywas done.
We got to clean this upThere'll be a couple cops how
they're when they was done.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
We got to clean this up.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Definitely a couple cops how they go change uniforms
.
Oh God, oh God, oh my God.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
That's a hell of a story to have after your shift,
yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:02):
When your wife asks you how you feel.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Let's not talk about it.
It only works because there's15 niggas there, because if it
was you, by yourself, you'resuppressing that Nothing
happened today.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
Hey, honey, how was your day?
It was nuts today, oh my God.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
This nigga was strong .
I didn't see him coming he wasdoing all this with one hand.
It was crazy oh my god, and atsome point he switched off.
I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
He was ambidextrous who damn turn is it to answer
the question?

Speaker 3 (44:36):
welcome back, because oh, um, then he grazed me with
that one hand.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
He was oh my god, you just gonna keep going nigga.
You are killing me today, mcflyDamn.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
Oh God, Okay, go ahead.
Just answer, Kevin.
Long story short.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
I transferred oh.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
I transferred right after he transferred.
Go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Well, I've been back 30 minutes.
Damn, I can't even say nothinghe transferred.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Go ahead, go ahead.
Well, um, I've been back 30minutes.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Damn, I can't even say nothing like this is all
fucked up, cause I was like Iwas gonna say she already said,
I already spoke.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I've been back 30 minutes watch this.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
See, this is damn.
You guys fucked this up, causehere's my answer, and then
you'll see why I don't want tosay it, picking up each other
like you.
Uh, you kind of change the vibewith everything and you kind of
spread love, all right, so itkind of helps bring the morale

(45:47):
up.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
I've been back 30 minutes guys 30 minutes, you
know, did you think we weregoing to change who we are?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
They've already lost their mind.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
I think that's the importance.
Like it just brings up thewhole vibe of everything, Like
one person feels good, theymight make the next person feel
good.
Hopefully they ain't that typeof thing Like I feel great, so
fuck them.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
So I just feel like that spreads more I agree you
okay then there was one, onetime when he was looking at me
and it was a standoff.
He had his dick in his hand andhe was staring at me and he was
jerking and I was like what doI do now?

Speaker 4 (46:31):
When I saw the story I said why did they not just
tase him?
They might have.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
Mess they might have.
Sometimes they just eat that.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
That would have been horrible.
Being tased, butt naked.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
The thing about it if you're the last one.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Don't you think it's horrible having to fight?

Speaker 1 (46:46):
that next time.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
Yeah, I wouldn't have did it, I would have went home.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
That's the day you retire.
Like, I guess the same for methat awkward eye stare they
lucky they didn't shoot him.
Okay, wouldn't that be crazy?
Would that have been?
Never mind, I don't want to godown that that was a different
path.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
I like to celebrate.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
It would have been a lot of shots fired.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
I like to celebrate victories, Like when I see
people fucking, even if it's.
I'd like to celebrate victorieswhen I see people just trying.
I like to celebrate the factthat they're they're trying,
Cause I know it's not easy totry, Cause that's the hardest
part of most journeys is takingthe first steps towards the

(47:27):
journey.
So I like to see it and when Isee it, I applaud it.
Even if it's in secret, Iapplaud it.
I don't, you know, I try not tokeep it in secret.
I literally will either send amessage or I'll react under a
post if it's on social media.
If I see them in passing, I'llsay something if I see them in
the past and I'll say something.

(47:52):
But it's important because a lotof times sometimes shit.
In most cases I can even speakfor myself.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
You need to hear it.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Yes, as you're on that journey, you need to hear
people tell you they see whatyou're doing, because it'll give
you that extra boost on a dayyou might be feeling like shit.
So I try to do that when I seeand the value of it is, uh, just
the understanding of treatingpeople how you would like to be
treated and that that's how Itry to live by until until it's
disrespected, I try to treatpeople how I like to be treated

(48:17):
so yeah, um, but in allseriousness, you know that
that's.
I like to joke a lot, but yeah,you treat people how you like to
be treated.
Uh, I just know, if a nigga wasuh jerking off and I was across
from him, that would be my lastday on the on the force anyway,
um the force what?
Is the connection betweenvisibility and power the

(48:43):
connection between visibilityand power yeah, you feel insane
and you feeling empowered bylike empowerment.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Okay, I was like I'm thinking like the wrong way you
think about like trump?

Speaker 4 (48:55):
yeah, like shit, like that, oh fuck sure, um, I think
it goes back to what you weresaying, like um, about um, like
you letting you acknowledge thatyou see someone trying so.
So, like when you, when, whenyou're trying hard and you're
trying to achieve a goal andsomeone acknowledges your, your,
your progress, that kind ofgives you like an extra boost of
power, like a willpower notnecessarily like physical power,

(49:18):
but like willpower to continueon, like, okay, maybe I am doing
something, cause a lot of times, especially when it's like
weight loss, like other peopleare going to see it before you
see it, you know, because, Imean, we people are just super
critical of themselves already.
So I think it always takes, youknow, a second person outside
view to actually kind of likelike reaffirm that yeah, I see

(49:40):
your gains, I see what you wentup to, I see a growth, whether
it be something physical, like amental growth, whatever the
case may be, or maybe you justout here, you hustling harder,
trying to trying to improve yourstatus, whatever it is, I do
think that there does come asense of motivation and
additional willpower when you,when your actions, are
acknowledged by someone else.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
I agree.

Speaker 4 (50:02):
Especially when that person is not your partner,
cause you feel like your partneris like you, just saying this
shit because you're supposed to.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
But when other people say it it's different.
I take a stance like with yourpartners.
I even take the stance in howit's said, because if you feel
like it's the generic oh yeah,you're doing great.
It's like you say it aboutevery fucking thing, at least
switch it up Like let me knowthat this one is different than
the last.
Like oh yeah, how's my food?

(50:29):
Oh, it's great.
It's like you said the sameshit about my wife.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
Yeah, I was dinner.
It was good.
Everything is good.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
I'm not going to say it's bad.
It don't feel genuine at all.
Yeah, because it's like if,yeah, that's true, I'm like fish
sticks.
Yeah, dopamine, baby, that'swhat I see.
Dopamine, dropping thatdopamine, that's just you feel

(50:56):
good after that like after agood compliment most of the time
.
I ain't never had a complimentand been like fuck these it,
like it don't even matter.
I can't say fake complimentsmake me feel like that.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Well, that's not real .
That's not a real compliment,like it don't even matter.
I can't say.
Fake compliments make me feellike that?

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Well, that's not real .

Speaker 3 (51:11):
That's not a real compliment, like we've talked
about this, like when you feltlike you bombed a set and you're
like I'm off, I go, good job.
And you're like this nigga'sjust saying that, to say it Like
I know I did bad.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
See, that's tough.
That's tough for me Because Ime, because I've told people
that had a bad set, good job.
I didn't say you had a good set, you got up there and you did
it.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
No, but if you you had a bad set, I'm like it
wasn't good, like the job wasn'tgood, but you like the set
wasn't good, but yeah, you gotthrough it, you didn't quit but
to someone who couldn't haveeven done what you got up there
and did, you probably did do agood job.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
Yeah, I ain't getting my ass up there for nothing.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Good job, Not set.
You're set Set Cause I had totell somebody that I was like
and then also you critiqueyourself a little bit different
than the rest of the worldcritiques themselves, so what's?

Speaker 2 (52:03):
a bad set to you might have been a good set to
someone else I said.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
I learned that We've talked about it before with the
Kendrick Lamar pop out show andthat nigga did not like us six
times and as much as he fuckedup on that and euphoria and the
fact no one cared, I didn't givea fuck.
I was like you know what MaybeI'm too hyper, because you
realize that people were justhappy to see the performance.

(52:28):
They don't necessarily careabout if it was perfect or not,
but as artists we do care aboutit being perfect or not same
politics, yeah politics ain'tperfect either nigga.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I watched some shit where the nigga restarted his
shit.
He was reading and he was like,oh, I was like is this what we
do?

Speaker 3 (52:50):
Oh, lord, was that it ?

Speaker 4 (52:52):
Everybody answered.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
God damn it, hi Watermelon sugar.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
No.
What mantra could someone sayto themselves to help them put
themselves in a matteringmindset?

Speaker 4 (53:07):
At least I ain't that bitch.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Nigga.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
That's the mantra.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Damn God damn, god damn.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
Damn the whole table is what's wrong, dude?

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Oh, I just went.
You say that dumbass shit.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Yeah, that shit ready to go quick.
Sometimes I'm not.
I know I'm not the only person.
Sometimes I be like.
You know, I find pleasure inbeing better off than certain
assholes that have treated melike shit.
So I'm like, yeah, at least I'mbetter than that bitch that's
an interesting phrasing.
Some assholes that treat melike shit, but I mean but right,

(54:00):
but my, my, my main mantra,what I tell myself is that is I
always tell myself just be onepercent better than you were
yesterday myself is.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
That is I always tell myself just be one percent
better than you were yesterday.

Speaker 4 (54:11):
That's good, you should have led with that, you
ain't gotta, you ain't gotta,you ain't gotta be, you ain't
gotta be 100 better, just onepercent.
So like you know, if like,especially like and like, I'll
just say like in the gym, right,so like, if I could do, if I
did, you know, six reps lastweek, but if I get six and a
half better, that's.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Yeah, I get you I was hoping you said that what she
said I was going to and I waslike, nah, it's low-hanging
fruit, that's what she said uh,but that's it.

Speaker 4 (54:41):
Yeah, just just one percent better.
And that that applies to likeeverything.
Like, let me be one percentbetter, like a better father,
better husband, better person,better friend.
Let me take one percent more.
Like, let me be 1% better, likea better father, better husband
, better person, better friend.
Let me take 1% more steps today.
Let me let me progress my, my,my diet 1% better today.
Like, it's just just 1%, it'sjust about.
It's all saying that to try toconfirm to myself okay, the goal

(55:03):
is constant growth and youdon't have that growth by least
in bounds.
You know, the race is won bythe swift.
I mean, it's not won by theswift, but won by the
consistency.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Taylor too, she did pretty good I don't have a
mantra.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
I talk to myself in the mirror in the morning,
though, and I do tell myself youdo this for you and not for
them.
So just to kind of, I mean, Iguess.
So nigga, but I didn't want to,it was mine, damn it, not
everybody else's I like that itdoes, but I do feel like, like I
.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
I because I said to myself that like when I go to
work, I do it for them, my wifeand my daughter, because,
because you know, I can live outmy car I don't have anybody
that I do, but I'm just sayingI'm saying I get what you're
saying but like they're saying,but like that's my motivation
because, like McFly said, I'vetold people at work I'm only.
The reason why I still got ajob is because of my daughter.
My daughter is saving you fromthis ass whooping.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Let me elaborate.
I come from a real badbackground of people pleasing.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
So so.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
I have to remind myself like bitch, look, we
ain't moving for everybody.
So you need to wake up and say,at least I'm better than that
bitch, and I just might add thatshit in because that's a damn
good one.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
If it wasn't for this , what is it?

Speaker 4 (56:25):
This pension and.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Health care.
Health care and your wage.
You give them a two-piece fromJollibee's or what Two-piece.

Speaker 4 (56:33):
That's where it's going to start.
Do you dip it in gravy?
Look here.
You remember, Stacy, how Stacybeat Mike ass.
Yeah, yeah, be like that.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
So a muck bang.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
We're going to see you on the news.
You're going to be on the storyafter the nigga jacking off and
beating up the cops they gonnahave to.

Speaker 4 (56:51):
They gonna have to carry me out.
They gonna tase me if I didn'thave to, if my head in my door,
they gonna have to tase me causeI, it ain't just one.
I'm lining them up.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
I'm not a fan of you.
My mantra is usually I alwayshear my dad's voice, but it's
usually you know what you needto do and that's what I say.
I look in the mirror in themorning.
I'm like you know what you needto do.
I'm like I hear his voice everyfucking time.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
I can say that shit, I'm like you're right, go back
to sleep, I'm tired of shit.

Speaker 3 (57:28):
No, it's always he always.
My dad's never been the.
That's very simplistic.
Like.
He looked at me and we're like,if I feel like I'm struggling,
he'd be like, well, you know youneed to do it.
And he'd be like, yeah, you'reright, you know you got to get
up and do better than you didbefore.
You know what you need to do.
You know what steps it takes toget to where you're trying to
go.
Simplistic and straight to thepoint for me, yeah you haven't
you answer I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
I was waiting for him to answer um, I think I tell
myself a lot like I just want tosee if I can.
I know that sounds weird, butlike what's that movie?

Speaker 4 (58:04):
I think I can't.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
I think, well, that's not a book we grew up with
fucking Fucking little train andlittle engine but like certain
things I set out like I'm notsure, Like I feel like I have
the capabilities of things, butI'm like I just want to see and
like, when it gets tough, it'slike it's just work.
Like most of the things thatare tough is just work.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
So it's from this motherfucker the things that are
tough is just work.
Yeah, so it's from thismotherfucker.
It's like you've got to just dothe work so.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
You got to know that everything you need to be happy
and successful is inside you.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
You just got to have the will of the dollar to bring
it out.
Yeah, just don't do it withmeth.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
We didn't go over our Valentine's Day recaps, but if
you guys want to do that beforewe get out of here, I went to
work.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
Yeah, valentine's Day is on Friday.
It was on a Friday.
I went to work too, and it wasmy mom's birthday.
Happy birthday, mom.
She turned 60.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
Oh, she young and she looked good.
She single Black don't crack.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Knock it off.
She said I might got somebodyfor her quit trying to fuck and
she looks great.
I ain't got no problem with anolder woman black don't crack,
black don't crack so yeah, wedid her birthday weekend and we
collected at her house and atedinner with her, and then on
Saturday we took her out too.
I think that place is calledJavier's Mexican restaurant.

(59:25):
Wonder why that one was chosen?
The place is called.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
Javier's Mexican restaurant.
Wonder why that one?

Speaker 2 (59:31):
was chosen, chosen by me, nigga.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Shout out to Dukes, oh man.

Speaker 4 (59:39):
We didn't do nothing, crazy man.
We just wanted to eat.
That's it.
The funds were low so Icouldn't take it to a balcony.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
Oh man, you built one you said there was things all
over the place.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
Whatever the balconies?
Yeah, I mean, but I can't getarrested.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Oh, okay, that's probably wise.
Yeah, that's probably wise,because the both of y'all
getting arrested.

Speaker 4 (01:00:01):
Yeah, plus my daughter had practice so we had
limited time.
I, I limit time, so I couldn'treally get in there like I
wanted to.
You know, I uh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
I paid bills.
Congratulations.
This has been episode 186 ofthe Heavyweight Podcast.
Yeah, yeah, we appreciate you.
Welcome back Des.
Like, subscribe, share, comment.
All that shit Till next time.
We love you.
Peace, peace, we love you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
I'm sweating.
That's a wrap y'all.
That's how she rap, so makesure you click like subscribe.
Tune in we on the Austrianplatform.
So until next time we'll hollerat you.