March 10, 2025 • 52 mins
Step into a space where deep conversations fuel personal growth. In this episode of The Heavyweight Podcast, we explore the emotional weight of relationships—those we cherish and those we outgrow. We discuss the pain of letting go, setting boundaries, and embracing change. Through personal stories and insights, we reflect on how past connections shape our present. Join us for laughs, self-reflection, and motivation to build a life that aligns with your values. Subscribe and be part of the conversation!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation, yeah
(00:27):
, anyway what's good.
This is episode this is episode189 of the Heavyweight Podcast I
am your anti-social host andnever your favorite, stunner
McFly, back again with this ladyand these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out,
chill.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Um, let me go by the name of uh, carol Smunch, lady,
and these two guys Go ahead andstate your name.
For the beautiful people outhere, I'm going to go by the
name of Carol's Munch.
The fuck, carol Munch.
Carol's like the restaurantJesus.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
I think any name with Munch, it just goes a different
way.
It's your boy, molito.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Like Pharoah, he got a cap too.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
And I'm Des the Diva.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
How are your weeks?
I?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
had a good week.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Not as great as the last.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Too much munching.
That's never too much.
But oh man, this is nah it'sjust, it's a week, it's a week.
Yeah, we'll put it that way.
Speaker 5 (01:36):
I felt like.
I felt like I could be rappingthis week you was rapping yeah,
I was back to reality oh did youwas it mom spaghetti?
Oh man, no, I wanted to throwup.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Were your knees weak?
No thanks to mom, sweaty yeahthey were sweaty.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
I'm not shit.
I said damn.
I couldn't see the little assbuttons on the screen.
I was trying to fumble on thisshit.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It was crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Yeah, but you know back to work, it's famous.
Back to work, back to thebullshit.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
You seem excited.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You had to turn the TV off.
Turn the TV off.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, I woke up looking for the broccoli man.
You know, that's it.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Oh my goodness, we're not going to do this.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Say drink Did you fly your week.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
My week was uh, oh wait, I'm sorry.
Yeah, we skipped, sorry.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
No, no, that's Saturday.
Also, my baby did havecompetition and she did really
well.
Yay Congrats.
We told her we're going to addup her scores and if her average
for the season hits a certainnumber, we're going to get her a
puppy.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Aw, I love that for her.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
What kind of puppy?
A free one Respect.
The most I'll do is go down tothe shelter and get what?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
kind of puppy, a free one.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Oh, respect, because I'm not paying, so the most I'll
do is go down to the shelterand get an adopt one.
That's what's up, I'll pay alittle $100, but I'm not going
to go potting on one.
What did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I'll pay a little $100.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Oh, okay, I heard $1,100 too, I thought you said I
was like if you said $1,100ain't paying.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
I was like hey.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
As far as fuck from free, bro.
Far as fuck from free.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I did see these German Shepherd puppies.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh yeah, you know one of them, slave dogs.
Yeah, I said this, nigga goingto be quiet Every time.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I see those Until he's not.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
You call that dog, a slave dog, police dogs, hell
yeah, until he's not, you callthat dog a slave dog.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Police dogs.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
That's the dog that you just yeah, you can outrun a
hound dog You're not gonnaoutrun no German Shepherd no
definitely not Definitely not,hey, I watched one of them,
motherfuckers, stop mid-shit.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Like that shit was crazy, Like the dog was going to
take a shit and that cop waslike I just stopped and I was
like, oh shit, that's crazy,that's guilt.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
God damn.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
That shit just reminded me of Earthquake when
he said he got him a retireddrug and he'd be taking all his
homies out.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Go find him Good boy, good boy, and you know what
that's smart.
That's a good way to pack.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
That made me think of that Kevin Hart joke, because I
saw that shit in person thefirst time and he had us in
fucking tears.
Fucking drug dog.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Dad where you get the dog from.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Now you're talking about the damn dog off, martin.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Oh no, it's tough rock, brother, oh man.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Oh, good shit my bad.
It was cool Paid.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Good shit my bad, mcfly, you're weak.
It was cool, paid bills, wentto work, got the kid's shoes
Good stuff, hell yeah,apparently, their feet grow a
lot and they have my feet, soAll of them.
They all have my feet, even Ava, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You got big feet Size 13.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Damn you got big feet Size 13.
Damn.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You got some big feet .
Speaker 3 (05:27):
But they all have my feet and they're out flat.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Hey, if you want some KDs, I saw some KDs at
Nordstrom's how much 13.
Size 13.
They wanted a 95.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I'm sorry what 95.
Anyway, we're going to go aheadand get to the shenanigans.
They were marked down from $185.
I figured it was half off.
I just got some KDs for $49.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
We got the hookup too , though.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Oh, wait a minute, my finger, oh, oh, okay, oh that's
right, okay, yeah, we'll talkabout it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Anyway, I guess we'll get into the shenanigans.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
You let a nigga shenan one time, dad's gonna
shenan again.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
And again and again and again nigga.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Again, these questions and themes are curated
by what goes on.
The title of this in the notesis I'll be the bigger person.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
I'm out of this episode.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Clearly what part.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I will say I lost weight why?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
are you coming for me des what parts of your life no
longer fit or serve you, and why?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
what?
What parts of your life nolonger serve you?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
yeah, fit or serve you doing lines of oreos.
What, oh wow, you did lines,yeah, like did you eat them or
did you actually break them down?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
and sniff them.
No, I ate them.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Okay, I'm just making sure.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You didn't see him on the other episode go.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
I'm just making sure, because some people you know, I
buy Oreos and I'm eating six ata time.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Grain them down and sniff them.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Oh, y'all knows even the, even the double stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
The stuff yes extra crossy rose in the gums um um
part of your life that no longerserved me.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
I've in this last six or seven months.
So I've been eliminatingeverything unhealthy for me
personally that's my thoughtprocess of some things just
trying to heal myself mentally,physically and spiritually.
So I've been removing anythingthat didn't serve me and then,
(07:42):
on top of that, standing up formyself in places where I should
have been doing it from thestart, and then, on top of that,
standing up for myself inplaces where I should have been
doing it from the start andsetting boundaries.
The more you heal, the more youstart setting boundaries, the
more people say you're actingdifferent.
So I guess I'm acting different.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I say I'm acting better.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, I would say, although you get on my nerves on
the show, you are a lot easierto talk to and to talk things
through here lately.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
I ain't cussing nobody out yet, even if you seem
different to others.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
You seem better to us oh thank you, death don't say
it don't you fucking say it.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I know he's thinking it.
It's on his face.
He's saying it without sayingit.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I know he is, but he don't have to say that shit
out loud.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
He's looking.
Now, he's saying it.
You're forcing his hand.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Kevin you ever answer that question?
He know better.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
What's up?
Huh, what happened?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I was going to write something you know, I just yeah,
put your little pen down.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I thought you, like, I was like, was that like just a
you biting your tongue?
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Yeah, you know, I'm not going to even write anything
.
I'm trying you know I, you knowshe big me up, Even though
every time I have good news froma therapist, then fucking
Patino calls and chastises melike he's my goddamn father.
I'll still.
I'll whoop your ass, joseph,hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
You know that nigga does jujitsu right.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I know.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's a fight you're not going to win that nigga
went to my head and did jujitsu.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, that's a fight you're not going to win this,
ain't what you want.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
He ain't the only nigga that can grapple.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I know that.
I'm just saying I don't thinkit's going to be an easy win.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I'll get that nigga in a double-legged T-Ground down
.
Sweep that motherfucker down toan arm bar.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
You know this nigga enjoys pain right.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
You doubt it.
That's the crazy part, that'stough.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
This motherfucker used to go on lunch, go roll and
grapple and come back to worksmiling about nah, I don't want
to fight with him.
Someone get that excited aboutsome shit.
It's like, nah, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Then they come like you're doing good, but can we
just stop at the beginning?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's funny, I think for for me, self-doubt,
self-doubt doesn't serve me wellworking on cutting that out,
just squabble up.
I mean yeah, yeah, show up,show up, show up.
As you said before, try Maybeget that book from the video how
to Be More Like Kendrick.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
No.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
No.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
You know there's a culture divide.
This is bigger than the music.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
You really about to do it.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Oh, my goodness, gracious God oh my God.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Oh shit, oh man.
You can't fake influence though, des, leave me alone you're not
sipping a slide Des leave mealone.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Like for real, let me get me some of them pants you
walk your ass up in here withbell bottoms and I'm gonna get
me some of them pants you walkyour ass up in here with bell
bottoms, that I'm going homewith my boots.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
So you talking shit, but them pants sold out,
apparently they're $1200.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
They were cute.
His whole ensemble was nicethey were $1200.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Were you dipping?
Were you sliding?
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I won't be getting those pants or you can go to Old
Navy and get them for.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Fashion Nova probably has a pair.
I don't feel like.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I'm going Fashion Nova.
I feel a little weird.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Why they have Fashion Nova men.
They have Fashion Nova men andchildren.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
That's not what I see on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
That's not my Fashion .
Nova feed and children.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Sometimes you want to perform your favorite song, but
you know they'll sue.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Did he sue?
He still sued.
No, I knew he had already hadthe initial lawsuit, but did it
go any further?
Because he did?
Speaker 5 (11:57):
the song.
Yeah, he never said it he madethe crowd say it that's
embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I think it's wonderful he never said.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I thought it was the best thing in the world this,
that's, that's a child screamingwhen you say certified and the
verse that he chose to pick,where you're like damn, he just
name a name.
Tell me, chums, they go oh shit, okay, uh, forever, anywho
sorry.
Um, yeah, I definitely answerthe Okay Forever.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Anywho, sorry, yeah, I definitely didn't answer the
question.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
What was it?
What's no longer serving me?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
What parts of your life no longer fit or serve you.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
And why my marriage, the way in the state that it's
in, isn't serving me?
Because it is saint.
And I don't think it'snecessarily that things are not
serving me.
I just think the state thatthey're in right now are not
serving me.
I think that's it why man Ijust had a moment, Because
(12:58):
hating steady doesn't fuckinglisten.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I'm not talking about the marriage part.
I'm talking about the secondpart.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You had a long moment part because they're not in
Texas because they're not aidingin my growth and I don't think
I'm aiding in thoserelationships growth either okay
, you're detached.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I said you said state .
Speaker 2 (13:28):
So I thought no, no, no, no, I get what?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
you meant.
When I heard it, my initialblonde reaction was state and
they were like we're inCalifornia, you was talking
about Texas.
Okay, anyway, let's keep going,philly you didn't answer the
question.
I didn't answer the question no, yeah, you tried it so, um,
kevin said doubt.
(13:51):
I don't think for me it's doubt,it's more allowing outside
distractions to dictate my uh,energy and time spent trying to
take that out, like, as far asnot letting something like bills
(14:12):
and whatever is a life todistract me from doing what I
want to do or need to do, as faras either with music or
whatever things that I'm tryingto grow personally, those are
the things I try to eliminatenow, especially this year.
I'm trying to make sure thatthat shit doesn't distract me
anymore and not allowing it to,even though it can be very
(14:33):
taxing at times.
Yeah, life be lifin'.
Life does keep lifin', amen.
On another note, I did buy mydaughter glasses and she looks
so cute.
I meant to tell you that she wasexcited she was turned up, I
(14:55):
got out of work and I won't sayI was speeding, because that's
not good.
I got to the place right beforethey closed.
I thought they were promptlyyeah and when I got home she was
excited about the glasses.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
She picked them out.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
She picked them out and she picked the cheapest
frame and I was like that's mykid.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because.
I'm going to tell you you cango on the website.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, you see, all my glasses that I have are all
different in their prescriptionand I pay so cheap for these
damn things.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
She picked because there were some discontinued
frames and they just happened tofit her, because our insurance
covers up to like $60 orsomething to frame and she
picked a $30 frame, so I didn'thave to pay out of pocket for
the frame.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Oh, it should be $95.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Whatever I just know be $95.
Whatever I just know we didn't.
Our insurance covered it infull.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
If they shorted it, let me know I'll pull up next to
it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Okay, they didn't short it.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You don't even want to pull up the clock here how
the hell you going to pull up tocheck somebody about somebody's
damn insurance?
Yeah, I don't want anotherframe.
I said she said this frame,don't push.
Yeah, could you have gotten asecond pair?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I could have.
Yeah, yeah, I just didn't.
I was like oh shit, she wantsthese.
She said she wants these.
All right Is buddy but she'sgetting a second pair.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
They're gonna lose that first they lose them first
pair or she can be playing andbreak them.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yep, hey, yeah, that's what insurance is for,
yeah she has insurance um yeah,but anyway moving on, what
emotions arise when you realizethat you've outgrown something
or someone, and how do youprocess them?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
With emotions, it depends on what it is.
In a particular friendship thatI had and I realized that
relief came from that because Iwas holding on to what I thought
we had in our friendship andthen when I finally realized I'm
not the same, what it is, Ifelt relieved.
And with my particular in mymarriage, I feel sorrow and
(17:02):
sadness, because don't nobodyget married to not be aligned.
So in that particular instanceI feel like sad.
So it really just depends onwhat it is that I have to
separate from the emotion that Ifeel Sometimes.
I don't give a fuck.
In every previous relationshipI've had outside of this one
sorry, cause I know some ofy'all watch this but I didn't
(17:23):
give a fuck if we broke up causeI was already like mentally,
like whatever.
But in this, because it's amarriage, this is different.
This feels painful, even thoughI joke about it a lot.
But y'all done figured out bynow.
I joke when shit bugs me, yeahyeah, I see through your shit um
(17:44):
.
I see through yours too, niggaso much transparent.
I'm in the middle of this shitum, no, nigga, cause you be
talking shit on the slick slidetoo.
I don't know what you'retalking about.
No, you be on the slick slidetalking shit too.
You just don't talk as muchshit you said.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
McFly no as much shit .
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You said McFly no, slick Slide talking shit.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, slick Slide is a dope rapper.
I appreciate it, don't playwith me.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Oh, you need the question, kevin, yeah, yeah,
yeah, what emotions arise whenyou realize you've outgrown
something or someone, and how doyou process them?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
A lot like that.
Usually it's relief.
Usually it's relief becausesometimes I look back on shit.
Sometimes it's Relief.
Usually it's relief Becausesometimes I look back on shit,
sometimes it's nostalgia.
You look back, oh, I'm so gladI don't do that shit.
Yeah, for sure it was a goodtime.
But Okay.
Boy, was it dumb Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I used.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
On the booger sugar.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Oh huh, that's what I call my energy drinks.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I was finna, say you be doing these drinks.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
A little pre workout.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, never heardnothing about it, it's only that
one Strip flips.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
That NutriShop gave me Never again.
Never again.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
It made you itchy.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
It had me turned up.
I said dude, you saidNutri-Grain.
No, it was at Nutri-Shop.
They give samples of shit andthey gave me a pre-workout.
He's like this will get youright.
I took that shit.
I was amped.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Oh, I needed a C4 in Texas.
Nigga, I was spent and I waslike I gotta drink this.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I feel the tingle.
I said I don't know what thefuck you gave me, but this shit
here.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Hey.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
You ever got a free bag of ice when you bought
something?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
No, that's weird, right yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Just making sure it was a big bag.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Yeah, I was just like I bought a case of Ben's, he
was like, oh yeah, just take abag of ice, and I was like, all
right.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
But the guy we were with.
He just took a bag of ice too.
He didn't tell him to take abag of ice.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That must be some texture shit.
I want a free bag of ice.
That's weird.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Sorry, it was a tangent, but yeah, that was.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
What did you end up doing with the ice Did?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
you have a cooler to put it in?
I just left it in the Airbnb.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Did you leave a note?
Here's some free ice.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Thanks for the I think they'll figure it out yeah
, but relief is mine, that'sthat's definitely most of the
time, but I guess, like you said, it depends like it could make.
It could be something that,yeah, damn that sucks, but I
think generally even after that,relief comes eventually, yeah,
(20:20):
yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So, yeah, I think I think I'll say the same thing.
I'd say relief, sometimeshappiness, sometimes a little
sadness, because sometimes yourun attached or fond of someone
and you realize like, yeah, thisain't conductive to me, no more
, I gotta move on the reliefpart when I mean, I guess the
(20:43):
relief is part like what Dez wassaying, like you.
Just you realize it wasn't foryou.
Now it's one less thing you gotto worry about, type deal, yeah
, so yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
It's like a cord cut yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
That's what they say I guess it goes through the
emotions you go from from.
Maybe in the beginning it'sanger or frustration, eventually
you get to, I guess, relief orclosure why anger?
Because sometimes you might bemad at yourself at the moment
that you allowed yourself to betaken advantage of hell.
Yeah, okay preach, preach.
(21:21):
Dad me fly to one preachingabsolutely so you hit that point
and then you start, you know,going through the the array of
emotions and then you, then youget to the closure and
acceptance.
So you hit that relief point.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
You're like, damn, I'll have to deal with that no
more but, yeah, it didn't startwith anger or frustration, and
then a realization I definitelythink it's one of those things
where you start to Pull yourcircle tighter and tighter
together and then the walls andthe application to apply to be
in the friend zone Becomesextensive.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Glad you cleared that up about the desk.
We'll see it.
She set that moment so fastAnyway.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
And I don't even see him coming half the time?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
um, you can't say.
You can't say coming yeah, howdo you handle the guilt about
growing friendships orrelationships?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
I don't handle guilt, I don't handle it.
I don't feel guilty because atsome point I feel like at some
point I've said things to you tosay to try to help you better
yourself, and I'm not as afriend, I'm not going to let you
go until I see you.
Just, you have no interest inleveling up.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I think the only guilt I would feel is like
realizing that they didn't havethat realization for themselves.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
There's like, it's like like survivor's guilt,
that's more like sorrow.
Yeah, yes, I feel sorry for you.
I don't feel guilty.
I don't feel sorry for nobodythough Nobody.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
No, I'm just saying like in that sense I don't feel
like, oh, what the fuck Like youjust feel like, oh, man, that
sucks, that you didn't realizethat there's better things in
life than whatever you're,whatever road you're on, kind of
thing, like not.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
But I'll feel sorry, like it's like it sucks, you
just didn't I think you just runinto people who are just
content with how their life isyeah and it's because it's more
comfortable to deal with whatyou're used to than to
experience something different.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Okay, yeah, hello.
I do feel the guilt though I'mnot even gonna lie In this
marriage and in my friendshipthat I had for 28 years and we
parted ways.
I think it's because I knowthat they're good people.
We just are not good in thesame.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
Just not good for you .
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah.
But I know they're good peopleand I know that they they mean
well in a lot of instances andsometimes I know that they just
really they just do not fuckingknow that what you're doing is
harmful.
I really, truly believe that.
So I do feel guilty because I,in my friendship, because I have
been friends with her for sodamn long, like I didn't want to
(23:58):
leave her behind, becausethat's been my we grew up since
elementary school and in mymarriage, because in initially,
when I got married, I literallyjust wanted to be go through it
all with my husband and I'm mepersonally, I'm starting to feel
like that, for better or forworse, there's a fucking line
(24:21):
that across it then you got tomake a fucking decision.
So but I still feel guiltybecause I didn't enter this
marriage before God to beleaving niggas behind.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Fuck with that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think for me it's.
I don't feel guilt because Idon't.
I guess I don't necessarily gotsome serial killer shit.
I don't necessarily feel likeit's outgrowing, I just feel
like it's growing apart.
I don't know what anythingoutgrowing, I just feel like
it's a growing apart.
Yeah, Like I don't know whatanything their life like has for
(25:09):
them.
You know, maybe it's not whatmine is, Maybe we aren't
supposed to grow in the samerate or the same place, same
areas or whatever.
I just look at it as a growingapart.
It's not like a any ill willlike most of the time.
So almost all the time likefuck it, I let people do their
(25:30):
thing and fuck it.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
It's not like a.
You know what I mean.
I get that.
I get that.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I see that Because I never try to leave it where it's
.
This should end on a bad noteIf it's on a bad note it's from
you.
Speaker 5 (25:47):
I don't really necessarily see it as this is
ending.
I just see it as well.
I mean, you want to stay on the28th floor.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, that's this 35th floor when you get to the
35th floor.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
We can pick it up.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I just mean in that relationship, in that that sense
, in that moment it is endingright there like so you could
pick it back up, but it's adifferent relationship is it
ending or are you saying goodbye?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
are you saying goodbye?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
or are you saying see you later, probably not saying
much of anything?
I'm just be living if.
I see you out there cool, wecome back.
It'd be a differentrelationship.
So you build a differentrelationship is probably with a
different person at that point.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Right, because one thing I've seen I'm pretty sure
I can attest to that, like weall, like I reached the point
where it was fun, when it wasjust me, I could be a little
more lenient.
But now I have a child, now Ican't do everything I was doing
before.
Now I can't react to everylittle thing, I can't just go
(26:43):
out and just wall out.
So now my actions directlyimpact my child.
So now I have to put myself insituations that doesn't harm my
child.
Yeah, absolutely, becauseprotecting me and protecting my
inner peace is ultimatelyprotecting my child and her
upbringing.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Facts.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
You know what I'm saying, so it's like I'm not
going to.
I can't hang around someone whowas threatening the life of my
child by their actions or bywhat they want to be involved in
.
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Absolutely Sex.
I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's why I come out to the suburbs.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
We don't go crazy places.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
I told you about the longtime friend.
I look at his family but hischoices in life and he would be
like, hey, I mean we should gohoop.
And I'm thinking like nigga,we're in two separate spots.
What you just said resonatedbecause it was like in my mind
I'm like it would be dope tohang out with you, but I got too
much to lose.
In my mind I'm like it would bedope to hang out with you, but
I got too much to lose and yougot a lot of bad shit attached
(27:43):
to you that they would use me toget back to you it's like I
always say like I got cousins,that's in the life.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
I can't hang out with you, bro, cause what if I'm
with you?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
and that's the day y'all out on the slide, on you
and I hope he understands thatcause we go back a long way but
he got so much shit attached tohim but I just in my good
conscience cannot associate thatbecause then it leads back to
my family and I can't Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
That's a good decision I got to go home.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I got to be with my family.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, that's a good decision.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
I mean, ultimately it's always the damn innocent
one that get hurt any damn way,like even it's always the damn
innocent one to get hurt anydamn way, like, even if it's a
situation it could be us threeand, let's say, a fight breakout
.
I mean, why are we fighting?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Because there's got to be a valid reason why we're
fighting Now.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
if he just stepped on your shoe, I'm not going to a
heated spades game, but do youstill have this energy?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
I don't play spades with people.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Did everybody stop asking?
I don't play spades with me,you stop asking.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I only play spades with family.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Okay, I respect that you don't fight family.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Yeah, but that's different Ain't no, cops ain't
being called.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, cops ain't being called, Shots ain't being
fired.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Cops ain't family.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
I don't play spades period, Because I see how people
get over spades.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Because niggas got different rules.
Some people say you can carrythree bags, some people can't
have no bags, and then if yourpartner can't count, and then
now you looking at him likenigga you, then you got money on
the game.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah, talking about, I don't know how to play spades.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
That's what I'm saying I don't play bags, you
guys got to bring bags.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
I just got to list the shit.
Just another nigga moment.
You got to bring grocery bagsand shit A bag is when.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Okay, so there's 13.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It's a whole case.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
There's 13,.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
They call them books, right, there's 13 books, books,
and my partner said he got five, but then we end up collecting
10 books.
That 10th book is a bag, right,so?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
normally they'll be negative.
Okay, I'm not gonna go aheadand let you know you just all
right um the cards you have inyour hand no it's okay.
How do you set boundaries withpeople who no longer align with
your values?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
with the friendship.
I just fucking stop talking toher ass.
I tried to have a conversationwith her that we I don't know.
I tried to have a conversationwith her.
The conversation didn't go theway it needed to go, so I just
stopped talking to her.
In my relationship, um, I don'tknow how to I I I'm still
(30:25):
figuring that out.
It's hard to set boundarieswith a nigga.
You fucking, so I'm still.
Speaker 5 (30:33):
I mean it is, I would say, um, I probably just walk
away, like I just let them knowI can't do this, and if you
change your values, your valuesalign with mine.
Then maybe we can have sometype of friendship.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I keep a friendship but, like I usually keep it
there at a distance, like theyare not allowed to access a
certain past a certain so it'slike, like, even with that said
person, like anytime you hit meup, it's all love, I'll sit
there and shoot with you, butjust know you're not getting
access past.
How's life?
(31:09):
How are you doing?
How's the fam?
But you're not getting.
Like, oh, we should go hang outand do this.
Nah, that's not happening.
But I always got love for you.
You know, if there's a way Ican help, I'll try.
But past this you're notgetting past this.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
People get mad at me because I tell them I ain't got
time to hang out.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
It's a fact, though they be like you lying.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
And then I tell them my schedule.
I'm like oh, you really ain'tgot.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, it's a fact, though I don't have time to hang
out, you have an athletic child, you busy, my time is her time,
you busy, so yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
That's why, when I do get free time, it's very, very
valuable to me.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
I thought you were going to say it was balconies
One month Give me a nice oceanview.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Where are you going?
Speaker 5 (31:58):
I ain't decided yet Somewhere with the ocean Balcony
.
When I book my hotels, I wantto be on floor 20 or higher, you
leaving like the country yougot no DR, no, no.
Jim has to take all the money.
We ain't got money.
If I go to DR, I might have togo by myself yeah, right, nigga
(32:18):
please cause I always say Ialways say I'm married in US
okay, so you won't be going toDR.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I was like, thank you , you won't be going.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
When she hear this, she going to be my ass.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Clip this shit up, because this needs to be a clip.
When she hear this, she goingto be my ass.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
I might text her or tell her.
Tell her oh, I like when sheget my ass.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
I'm so into it.
Everybody answer.
Oh gosh, Put you at a distance.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
I want to see what does it mean to embrace growth
even when it feels uncomfortableor lonely.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
It starts off being scary and then, when you go
ahead, first until you realizethat you ask yourself what
you're scared of, because downyou see another version of
yourself.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I need therapy.
What are you thinking about?
It's like that's what I thoughtabout about pussy, but now it's
like the first time it was like, oh my God, what am I getting
into?
And it's like then you slide in.
You're like what was I afraid?
Speaker 5 (33:17):
of this is amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Anyway, I keep going.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry nope, you're, you know, you've
done it for the day, but I meanafter, after, after you embrace
it and you realize it wasactually better for you, and
then you realize that and yourealize that you leveled up in
the area of your life I'm sorry,I gotta stop let me be serious.
(33:42):
I hear you, I hear you, I'mjust my brain stuck in there.
I need therapy, bro, yes, you do.
And the second part, um, just,it's just fucking.
Yeah, frank.
Um, the second part anythingnew is gonna be uncomfortable to
start with, yeah, and then whenyou start changing your views
(34:05):
and your morals and your values,you're gonna to feel lonely.
It's funny you said that, likeI think I sent Des a clip of
David, of David Banner, and whenhe was like I understood my
mission, that no, people didn'talign, like didn't align with me
, they didn't think how I think.
So he said I expected to belonely.
I embrace it.
So you have to understand thatanytime you choose to level up
(34:29):
in life, you should expect to belonely, because it's going to
take time for you to find yournew tribe.
It's going to take time for youto find people who are on your
same wavelength of thinking,because the people behind you
they're used to the old versionof you.
A lot of them are not going toget accustomed to the new
version because they arecomfortable with the old version
.
Because they're comfortablewith the old version because
(34:49):
they could talk a certain way tothe old version.
They could do things that areover there.
So now, when you start settingboundaries and you start letting
people know I ain't the one orthe two now, you different, but
you better for yourself isn'tthat a trip though that people
can, they'll put you in a boxand feel like that because of
(35:11):
how they've seen you.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
When you try to say I'm not that box, no more,
they'll be like no, but I'vealways seen you as that box.
I can't get you know.
They can't get comfortable withthe thought of you being
outside of that box.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
That's a trip.
That's because they're stuck intheir box.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Too many times, people put their insecurities
onto you, and so when you'redoing things that they don't
think they can do themselves, itmakes them uncomfortable,
because you were previously at alevel where they felt like they
could do anything you weredoing.
But now that you leveled up andyou show them that it's
(35:45):
possible, now they start lookingat themselves like, well, that
means I'm not doing enough.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
And then that's when the hate started and the shady
comments and the passiveaggressive shit that you come
across, especially like we'vehad this conversation about the
podcast.
But I'm sure it's happening foryou at times where you have
somebody make a slightly passiveaggressive comment about you
doing a podcast and you be likefuck is that supposed to mean?
And you catch on to it and ithas nothing to do with you.
(36:10):
It has everything to do withthe reflection of what they're
not doing with their lives.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
That's a trip.
Good shit, good shit.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
You all right, kevin?
Yeah, I was listening, I waslistening, you got nothing to
input.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Uh, he answered, didn't he?
Speaker 5 (36:32):
no, no, I didn't, I haven't got my version of Kev
and I like I like it when he get.
Well, you know, give me the,give me the question again,
cause I feel like I was on theopposite of you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
He's been here before he be like no, he's been here
before.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
What does it mean to embrace growth even when it
feels uncomfortable or lonely?
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
He just picked up on what I was saying.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
You're right, because growth is supposed to be lonely
, lonely.
But I feel like it's a personalthing, yeah, like it's a
personal growth, and I don'tfeel like I have to outgrow
people, like I'm just outgrowingmy old self and those people
that are aligned with just me aswho I am are still going to be
in that, like I might be in adifferent spot, but it's like I
(37:26):
guess I go further than just Idon't know.
It's just a feeling.
I just a feeling you kind ofknow who you fuck with, you know
what I mean.
So I've had friends and I lostfriends and it's like, yeah, I
don't know it doesn't I don'tknow.
it seems weird that it's like,yeah, sometimes it hurts and
(37:47):
sometimes it's like, nah, thiswas supposed to happen, it's
probably better for both of us.
I hope so.
You never wish anything bad onanybody.
Speaker 5 (37:57):
I now subscribe to the notion that friends are
seasons and chapters, some ofthem.
I'm not saying all of them, butyou know yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Cause there was some shit I saw.
That fucked me up.
I was like damn, why'd you postthat shit?
And it was like about thehomies, and it was like there's
going to be one homie that, uh,everybody's there for their
funeral, and then there's goingto be one homie that sees
everybody's funeral, and thenthere's one homie who no one's
at their funeral and I was likedamn that fucked me up and I
(38:34):
don't know why, but yeah.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Damn yeah, cause I always tell my wife I gotta die
first.
I said, I said I gotta diefirst, cause if you die first,
yeah, I gotta die first.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Because if you die first they might as well.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
Nah, this is gonna be a bad day and she's like.
You gotta be strong for the kidman.
Fuck them kids.
I'm going to do more.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
So like I think me doing this shit with trying to
go back to school and do thisshit and like seriously take it.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
Sorry, my wife wants to let you know she's proud of
you for that.
Well, I'm trying.
I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
But like learning shit, like that is not a little
bit.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Y'all don't tell me nothing.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
He said it last week on the podcast.
He said it on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I might have been high.
I'm from a high for my height.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Well, yeah, I'm gonna try to go back to school, uh,
but something like that is likewhat do you do?
Like, once you learn that shit,you can't go backwards.
I can't go backwards now, Iknow all this shit, but what the
fuck do I do with that?
You know?
what I'm talking about, theschooling, yeah okay, like you
apply it yeah, that's I know,but I'm saying that's.
That shouldn't change anythingabout a person like I think
(39:54):
you're supposed to get thatknowledge and learn these things
and then figure out how to passthat to people like that's.
I think that's how I feel.
I don't know, so the growthdoesn't scare me in that degree.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
I don't know if that answers any of that mcflaw, as
it's funny because I'm hearingeveryone's statement and it made
me think um, when you thinkabout, like, like, when they say
, like the royce the five ninesaid on that, on the caterpillar
was, just remember, when you'repraising the butterfly, don't
ever forget the caterpillar.
And it makes sense because,like, you know that that
(40:35):
personal growth and being byyourself is that, that lonely
time where you're trying to, youknow you're growing and you're
becoming something different.
Time where you're trying to,you know you're growing and
you're you're, you're becomingsomething different.
And then you know, peoplepraise you on the other side,
when you're, when you've you'vereached success or you've
reached that, that milestonethat you were trying to reach.
But, like, like what Mo wassaying, when people try to put
(40:58):
you in a box and they don't wantto accept who you are, there's
always that process buteventually, when they realize
you're something different, Ithink that that's what the true,
true, true, rare thing in life,where you have times, where you
have beauty, is in that, thatstruggle of getting to that
point.
So, yeah, you might feel lonelyat a time, but when you get to
(41:20):
a point where you actually gotto, where you're trying to go,
and you feel good in that, inthat accomplishment got to where
you're trying to go and youfeel good in that in that
accomplishment, uh, no matterwhat kind of setback or struggle
or journey you're going through, you feel like, hey, I got to
where I was trying to get to Um.
So it can be scary, but itusually not all.
(41:40):
All cases is usually worth itto go through Um.
But everybody's journey isdifferent to go through.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Um, but everybody's journey is different.
Can I?
Can I say, uh, I think at acertain point it's supposed to
be lonely.
Yeah, like, because, like howyou like with the caterpillar,
like at some point you'resupposed to go.
Hey, I gotta go inward and likego figure this out like it's got
to be a me thing.
I can't have any fuckinginfluence on this and like, no
matter who it is, like you can't, some things have to be just
(42:12):
you.
So it's lonely.
But it's like, as you said, asyou go through it at some point
with the caterpillar, like yousee what's going on and whatever
is around recognizes that Ifit's a predator, it will try to
attack.
If it's a predator, it will tryto attack.
If it's friend, it roots for it.
So it's like you find out a lotin that sense too, because when
you're in a certain state, ifyou're being attacked in a
(42:35):
certain way, then you're like oh, that needs to be cut out, when
I get the fuck out of this.
Because it's like how dare youcome at me when I'm in where I'm
at and you see what I'm doing,because it's not hidden, I'm
just doing this without anyinfluence.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
So yeah, I definitely agree with that, kevin, because
I feel like what I've had to doand what I've learned is that I
need to be alone, to bevulnerable with myself.
Yeah Right, I need to besomewhere where I'm not.
I don't have my husband face onmy father face, whatever,
whatever.
I'm literally in a dark roomand it's me and I'm evaluating.
(43:13):
Why do you feel this way?
Why are you responding this way?
Why is this triggering you?
Why is this making you angry?
And that it's those spaces,that what I've done over the
last six or seven months or so,that's really helped me to
understand myself and to be ableto now recognize things a lot
(43:35):
more in the open when it'shappening.
Like I had a conversation withthe wife last night about
something and I said somethingand then she started talking to
me and I immediately had to stopher and apologize, because now
I caught it.
Ok, now I see.
I see why you're mad.
I see what I did.
I apologize, I'm sorry for this.
I'm going.
(43:55):
I always say I'm not perfect,I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm
not going to do it again, butI'm going to make the steps to
try not to do it again.
So I agree with what you'resaying.
I had to look internally and Iknow for me personally that I
can't do that when I'm aroundother people.
I need to be by myself.
Maybe some OJs in my ear.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
OJs.
Oh, lord, nigga, you don't knowthat's one of them, ojs.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I'm old nigga.
Speaker 5 (44:24):
OJs and spinners reflect on my internal feelings
in order to express myselfbetter to the people I care
about.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
yep those are.
Yeah, y'all niggas got me overhere halfway crying anyway damn
you dare today.
I am.
I was looking at the tissue.
I was like damn damn she movedthem.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
You want me to give them to you.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Nah, I'm a man, I'll be cool.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
What steps can you take to rebuild after letting go
of situations that no longerserve you?
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I don't think you have.
There's nothing to rebuild,because I think you're letting
go of the situation as you'rebuilding yourself.
So there's nothing to berebuilt because, regardless of
what happened in the past, it'sstill part of your foundation.
Yeah, where you were, you'vejust outgrown it.
And now, and it's stillsomething that you're going to
(45:22):
remember because it's going tobe a part of your, it's going to
be a part of the new identity,in a way, to where it reinforces
why you've made the change Iguess that's why I don't like
that outgrown shit.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Like I don't like that.
I don't like that phrasebecause it's like what you said
with the foundation.
I'm like then it's yourconcrete nigga.
Like what are you talking about?
Like it's not outgrown.
It's like I'm building on thisnow and I'm not saying anything
but I'm just saying like when weuse that, it feels like it's a
negative way.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
I mean I thought he was trying to communicate with
you because you said you talkwith your hands you definitely
said that no, he meant but yeah,like it's your foundation.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Like that's how I feel.
Like everything is like part ofit.
It's like, nigga, no matterwhat it was, fuck it.
Like the foundation is about tobe solid as fuck.
Like you can't break this, likeyou can't shake it.
There's no earthquake bigenough to fuck this up, so it's
like you got to take all thatshit and, like, put it in like
it's, it's, it's I don't know.
Speaker 5 (46:27):
I see it's like what you sound like.
I see it more so like, uh, lifelessons.
Yeah, if you learned, like it'sstill it's there, like the
outcome of whatever you wentthrough is still there and
you're you're going to rememberthat in times when you need to
remember it to either reinforcewhat you're doing or to remind
you not to go back you.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
You know, the cool thing sometimes I think about
this is like you can go througha whole lot of shit and like,
say, like you lose somebody andyou could go through a whole lot
of shit with that person, likeeven bad shit.
Like once they're gone, youthink about the bad shit, but
it's in a good light.
It's weird how that shit works.
(47:07):
Where you're like, hmm, I'mglad we went through that and
still work through that, like Istill have that, I have those
things, I have this, I have that.
So it's like fuck, that's justsupposed to be how it is.
And like we don't look at thatwith just life, like just when
shit happens.
Where you're like this shit isis bad, but it's like nigga,
maybe it's supposed to be badright now, but I can't quit.
(47:29):
You know what I mean.
So that's the concrete, that'sthe foundation.
I don't know, sorry.
Speaker 4 (47:37):
It's okay, she'll be sorry.
Speaker 5 (47:39):
Okay, now see, the crying is okay.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
The knocking the mic over the crying is perfectly
fine friend.
Speaker 5 (47:44):
The knocking the mic over is what we draw the line.
I caught it Pause.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Y'all just fine.
A rave, boy A rave.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Are you having an emotional moment?
You're right.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Pause.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
You ain't wrong.
Pause, y'all about tired ofy'all.
Speaker 4 (48:00):
Ugh McFlauch.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Or Des.
I think in some circumstancesyou do have to rebuild after,
just because, for example inrelationships, you can't really
heal where you're hurting atyeah, but I just gonna go.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's Nick, but yeah, I mean, I guess it is.
In a sense it is a rebuild,because you're tearing something
(48:35):
that you did build and throwingit in the mix why you looking
like that what happened cause Iknow you got some bullshit to
say no, it was what you saidlike, let me do it, I took it.
Speaker 5 (48:48):
I took it somewhere, my brain took it somewhere else.
My brain made it sexual.
That's it.
Speaker 4 (48:51):
How you know this, nigga, because we're men, you
know, it don't take much, oh God.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
We're talking about Mo Lethal.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Oh God, I'm ready to clock out you know how many
disclaimers Andy's done.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Thoughts of Molito of Molito oh god, I see it now oh
shit what I'll say is I agreewith Des on that take cause, for
example, in instances whenyou're.
(49:31):
What I'll say is I agree withDes on that take Because, for
example, in instances when yourealize something no longer
serves you, sometimes you haveto be able to, to Mo's point,
identify things that you mayhave been a problem in in past
situations and relationships andfriendships where you realize
there might have been instanceswhere you weren't being a good
person, that you that, that youhave to take accountability for
(49:53):
and that's the real rebuildingpart is saying you know what,
let me take that out of and letme let me work to be better here
, because I wasn't that when Iwas in that situation because,
like I tell them all the time, alot of times you have these
conversations with people yourealize that it wasn't a
one-sided issue.
It was like both people hadissues in in the relationships
(50:16):
and friendships or whatever,where it's like sometimes one
side didn't take accountabilityfor what was going on.
So maybe when they separatethey realize I got to take
accountability more and be moreof this and a better person in a
way is a rebuilding stepbecause, you're trying to better
yourself.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Is that a remodel?
I feel like you don't tear itdown, you can't take it all out.
Sometimes you do.
I mean, I guess you're just ashitty nigga.
Speaker 3 (50:44):
I'm saying there are shitty people that have rebuilt
their entire life Like nigga.
I remember when was just ashitty nigga.
I'm saying there are shit.
Speaker 4 (50:47):
people that have rebuilt their entire life, Like
nigga.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
I remember when you used to do this and this and
this, nigga, and what happened.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yes, I have talked to people where they're like hey,
man, I was a piece of shit backthen and you're like, hey, I
didn't want to say it.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Yeah, and they rebuild completely because they
so sometimes it's a beautifulthing to see too.
I work for people that do that,because that takes a lot to be
able to go from being a piece ofshit to saying I realized the
error of my ways, man, and Ijust changed man, I rebuilt.
It's cool to see.
Speaker 5 (51:16):
Yeah, it's beautiful to watch.
I also think that sometimes incertain relationships, you may
be triggering each other'strauma without recognizing it.
Absolutely, true, absolutely,and so it's just a bunch of
conversations of traumaresponses yeah, yeah, nothing's
getting done definitely, andit's just yeah, compiling on
each
Speaker 2 (51:32):
other, and then you never get to a resolution yeah,
I, I agree with that, but it'stypically when you start the
damn relationship, traumabonding.
Yeah, that's a problem?
Speaker 5 (51:42):
yeah, yeah, the trauma part, not the bond.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Oh oh man, it's like you, I'm just.
You could never be like acounselor no, like what'd you
say like no fuck giving soundadvice and be like hey look, I
(52:08):
wrote this down and it's funny,like I got it.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
At one point, when you were expressing your
feelings, you said something andI wrote it down and I wanted to
come back to it because it waspretty fucking funny, like yeah,
anyway, with that being said,go past this.
Um, with that being said, Ican't go past this.
With that being said, this hasbeen episode 189 of the
(52:32):
Heavyweight.
Speaker 5 (52:33):
Podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Like, subscribe, share comment.
All that, we love you.
Till next time, peace, peace.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
I'm sweating.
That's a wrap y'all.
That's how she rip, so makesure you click like subscribe.
Tune in.
We're on the Austrian platform.
So until next time we'll hideat you.
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation, yeah
(00:27):
, anyway what's good.
This is episode this is episode189 of the Heavyweight Podcast I
am your anti-social host andnever your favorite, stunner
McFly, back again with this ladyand these two guys.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out,
chill.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Um, let me go by the name of uh, carol Smunch, lady,
and these two guys Go ahead andstate your name.
For the beautiful people outhere, I'm going to go by the
name of Carol's Munch.
The fuck, carol Munch.
Carol's like the restaurantJesus.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
I think any name with Munch, it just goes a different
way.
It's your boy, molito.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Like Pharoah, he got a cap too.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
And I'm Des the Diva.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
How are your weeks?
I?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
had a good week.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Not as great as the last.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Too much munching.
That's never too much.
But oh man, this is nah it'sjust, it's a week, it's a week.
Yeah, we'll put it that way.
Speaker 5 (01:36):
I felt like.
I felt like I could be rappingthis week you was rapping yeah,
I was back to reality oh did youwas it mom spaghetti?
Oh man, no, I wanted to throwup.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Were your knees weak?
No thanks to mom, sweaty yeahthey were sweaty.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
I'm not shit.
I said damn.
I couldn't see the little assbuttons on the screen.
I was trying to fumble on thisshit.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It was crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Yeah, but you know back to work, it's famous.
Back to work, back to thebullshit.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
You seem excited.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You had to turn the TV off.
Turn the TV off.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, I woke up looking for the broccoli man.
You know, that's it.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Oh my goodness, we're not going to do this.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Say drink Did you fly your week.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
My week was uh, oh wait, I'm sorry.
Yeah, we skipped, sorry.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
No, no, that's Saturday.
Also, my baby did havecompetition and she did really
well.
Yay Congrats.
We told her we're going to addup her scores and if her average
for the season hits a certainnumber, we're going to get her a
puppy.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Aw, I love that for her.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
What kind of puppy?
A free one Respect.
The most I'll do is go down tothe shelter and get what?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
kind of puppy, a free one.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Oh, respect, because I'm not paying, so the most I'll
do is go down to the shelterand get an adopt one.
That's what's up, I'll pay alittle $100, but I'm not going
to go potting on one.
What did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I'll pay a little $100.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Oh, okay, I heard $1,100 too, I thought you said I
was like if you said $1,100ain't paying.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
I was like hey.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
As far as fuck from free, bro.
Far as fuck from free.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I did see these German Shepherd puppies.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh yeah, you know one of them, slave dogs.
Yeah, I said this, nigga goingto be quiet Every time.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I see those Until he's not.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
You call that dog, a slave dog, police dogs, hell
yeah, until he's not, you callthat dog a slave dog.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Police dogs.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
That's the dog that you just yeah, you can outrun a
hound dog You're not gonnaoutrun no German Shepherd no
definitely not Definitely not,hey, I watched one of them,
motherfuckers, stop mid-shit.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Like that shit was crazy, Like the dog was going to
take a shit and that cop waslike I just stopped and I was
like, oh shit, that's crazy,that's guilt.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
God damn.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
That shit just reminded me of Earthquake when
he said he got him a retireddrug and he'd be taking all his
homies out.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Go find him Good boy, good boy, and you know what
that's smart.
That's a good way to pack.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
That made me think of that Kevin Hart joke, because I
saw that shit in person thefirst time and he had us in
fucking tears.
Fucking drug dog.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Dad where you get the dog from.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Now you're talking about the damn dog off, martin.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Oh no, it's tough rock, brother, oh man.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Oh, good shit my bad.
It was cool Paid.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Good shit my bad, mcfly, you're weak.
It was cool, paid bills, wentto work, got the kid's shoes
Good stuff, hell yeah,apparently, their feet grow a
lot and they have my feet, soAll of them.
They all have my feet, even Ava, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You got big feet Size 13.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Damn you got big feet Size 13.
Damn.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You got some big feet .
Speaker 3 (05:27):
But they all have my feet and they're out flat.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Hey, if you want some KDs, I saw some KDs at
Nordstrom's how much 13.
Size 13.
They wanted a 95.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I'm sorry what 95.
Anyway, we're going to go aheadand get to the shenanigans.
They were marked down from $185.
I figured it was half off.
I just got some KDs for $49.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
We got the hookup too , though.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Oh, wait a minute, my finger, oh, oh, okay, oh that's
right, okay, yeah, we'll talkabout it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Anyway, I guess we'll get into the shenanigans.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
You let a nigga shenan one time, dad's gonna
shenan again.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
And again and again and again nigga.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Again, these questions and themes are curated
by what goes on.
The title of this in the notesis I'll be the bigger person.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
I'm out of this episode.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Clearly what part.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I will say I lost weight why?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
are you coming for me des what parts of your life no
longer fit or serve you, and why?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
what?
What parts of your life nolonger serve you?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
yeah, fit or serve you doing lines of oreos.
What, oh wow, you did lines,yeah, like did you eat them or
did you actually break them down?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
and sniff them.
No, I ate them.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Okay, I'm just making sure.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You didn't see him on the other episode go.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
I'm just making sure, because some people you know, I
buy Oreos and I'm eating six ata time.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Grain them down and sniff them.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Oh, y'all knows even the, even the double stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
The stuff yes extra crossy rose in the gums um um
part of your life that no longerserved me.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
I've in this last six or seven months.
So I've been eliminatingeverything unhealthy for me
personally that's my thoughtprocess of some things just
trying to heal myself mentally,physically and spiritually.
So I've been removing anythingthat didn't serve me and then,
(07:42):
on top of that, standing up formyself in places where I should
have been doing it from thestart, and then, on top of that,
standing up for myself inplaces where I should have been
doing it from the start andsetting boundaries.
The more you heal, the more youstart setting boundaries, the
more people say you're actingdifferent.
So I guess I'm acting different.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I say I'm acting better.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, I would say, although you get on my nerves on
the show, you are a lot easierto talk to and to talk things
through here lately.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
I ain't cussing nobody out yet, even if you seem
different to others.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
You seem better to us oh thank you, death don't say
it don't you fucking say it.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I know he's thinking it.
It's on his face.
He's saying it without sayingit.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I know he is, but he don't have to say that shit
out loud.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
He's looking.
Now, he's saying it.
You're forcing his hand.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Kevin you ever answer that question?
He know better.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
What's up?
Huh, what happened?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I was going to write something you know, I just yeah,
put your little pen down.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I thought you, like, I was like, was that like just a
you biting your tongue?
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Yeah, you know, I'm not going to even write anything
.
I'm trying you know I, you knowshe big me up, Even though
every time I have good news froma therapist, then fucking
Patino calls and chastises melike he's my goddamn father.
I'll still.
I'll whoop your ass, joseph,hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
You know that nigga does jujitsu right.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I know.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's a fight you're not going to win that nigga
went to my head and did jujitsu.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, that's a fight you're not going to win this,
ain't what you want.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
He ain't the only nigga that can grapple.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I know that.
I'm just saying I don't thinkit's going to be an easy win.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I'll get that nigga in a double-legged T-Ground down
.
Sweep that motherfucker down toan arm bar.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
You know this nigga enjoys pain right.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
You doubt it.
That's the crazy part, that'stough.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
This motherfucker used to go on lunch, go roll and
grapple and come back to worksmiling about nah, I don't want
to fight with him.
Someone get that excited aboutsome shit.
It's like, nah, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Then they come like you're doing good, but can we
just stop at the beginning?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's funny, I think for for me, self-doubt,
self-doubt doesn't serve me wellworking on cutting that out,
just squabble up.
I mean yeah, yeah, show up,show up, show up.
As you said before, try Maybeget that book from the video how
to Be More Like Kendrick.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
No.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
No.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
You know there's a culture divide.
This is bigger than the music.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
You really about to do it.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Oh, my goodness, gracious God oh my God.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Oh shit, oh man.
You can't fake influence though, des, leave me alone you're not
sipping a slide Des leave mealone.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Like for real, let me get me some of them pants you
walk your ass up in here withbell bottoms and I'm gonna get
me some of them pants you walkyour ass up in here with bell
bottoms, that I'm going homewith my boots.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
So you talking shit, but them pants sold out,
apparently they're $1200.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
They were cute.
His whole ensemble was nicethey were $1200.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Were you dipping?
Were you sliding?
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I won't be getting those pants or you can go to Old
Navy and get them for.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Fashion Nova probably has a pair.
I don't feel like.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I'm going Fashion Nova.
I feel a little weird.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Why they have Fashion Nova men.
They have Fashion Nova men andchildren.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
That's not what I see on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
That's not my Fashion .
Nova feed and children.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Sometimes you want to perform your favorite song, but
you know they'll sue.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Did he sue?
He still sued.
No, I knew he had already hadthe initial lawsuit, but did it
go any further?
Because he did?
Speaker 5 (11:57):
the song.
Yeah, he never said it he madethe crowd say it that's
embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I think it's wonderful he never said.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
I thought it was the best thing in the world this,
that's, that's a child screamingwhen you say certified and the
verse that he chose to pick,where you're like damn, he just
name a name.
Tell me, chums, they go oh shit, okay, uh, forever, anywho
sorry.
Um, yeah, I definitely answerthe Okay Forever.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Anywho, sorry, yeah, I definitely didn't answer the
question.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
What was it?
What's no longer serving me?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
What parts of your life no longer fit or serve you.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
And why my marriage, the way in the state that it's
in, isn't serving me?
Because it is saint.
And I don't think it'snecessarily that things are not
serving me.
I just think the state thatthey're in right now are not
serving me.
I think that's it why man Ijust had a moment, Because
(12:58):
hating steady doesn't fuckinglisten.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I'm not talking about the marriage part.
I'm talking about the secondpart.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You had a long moment part because they're not in
Texas because they're not aidingin my growth and I don't think
I'm aiding in thoserelationships growth either okay
, you're detached.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I said you said state .
Speaker 2 (13:28):
So I thought no, no, no, no, I get what?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
you meant.
When I heard it, my initialblonde reaction was state and
they were like we're inCalifornia, you was talking
about Texas.
Okay, anyway, let's keep going,philly you didn't answer the
question.
I didn't answer the question no, yeah, you tried it so, um,
kevin said doubt.
(13:51):
I don't think for me it's doubt,it's more allowing outside
distractions to dictate my uh,energy and time spent trying to
take that out, like, as far asnot letting something like bills
(14:12):
and whatever is a life todistract me from doing what I
want to do or need to do, as faras either with music or
whatever things that I'm tryingto grow personally, those are
the things I try to eliminatenow, especially this year.
I'm trying to make sure thatthat shit doesn't distract me
anymore and not allowing it to,even though it can be very
(14:33):
taxing at times.
Yeah, life be lifin'.
Life does keep lifin', amen.
On another note, I did buy mydaughter glasses and she looks
so cute.
I meant to tell you that she wasexcited she was turned up, I
(14:55):
got out of work and I won't sayI was speeding, because that's
not good.
I got to the place right beforethey closed.
I thought they were promptlyyeah and when I got home she was
excited about the glasses.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
She picked them out.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
She picked them out and she picked the cheapest
frame and I was like that's mykid.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because.
I'm going to tell you you cango on the website.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, you see, all my glasses that I have are all
different in their prescriptionand I pay so cheap for these
damn things.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
She picked because there were some discontinued
frames and they just happened tofit her, because our insurance
covers up to like $60 orsomething to frame and she
picked a $30 frame, so I didn'thave to pay out of pocket for
the frame.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Oh, it should be $95.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Whatever I just know be $95.
Whatever I just know we didn't.
Our insurance covered it infull.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
If they shorted it, let me know I'll pull up next to
it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Okay, they didn't short it.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You don't even want to pull up the clock here how
the hell you going to pull up tocheck somebody about somebody's
damn insurance?
Yeah, I don't want anotherframe.
I said she said this frame,don't push.
Yeah, could you have gotten asecond pair?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I could have.
Yeah, yeah, I just didn't.
I was like oh shit, she wantsthese.
She said she wants these.
All right Is buddy but she'sgetting a second pair.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
They're gonna lose that first they lose them first
pair or she can be playing andbreak them.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yep, hey, yeah, that's what insurance is for,
yeah she has insurance um yeah,but anyway moving on, what
emotions arise when you realizethat you've outgrown something
or someone, and how do youprocess them?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
With emotions, it depends on what it is.
In a particular friendship thatI had and I realized that
relief came from that because Iwas holding on to what I thought
we had in our friendship andthen when I finally realized I'm
not the same, what it is, Ifelt relieved.
And with my particular in mymarriage, I feel sorrow and
(17:02):
sadness, because don't nobodyget married to not be aligned.
So in that particular instanceI feel like sad.
So it really just depends onwhat it is that I have to
separate from the emotion that Ifeel Sometimes.
I don't give a fuck.
In every previous relationshipI've had outside of this one
sorry, cause I know some ofy'all watch this but I didn't
(17:23):
give a fuck if we broke up causeI was already like mentally,
like whatever.
But in this, because it's amarriage, this is different.
This feels painful, even thoughI joke about it a lot.
But y'all done figured out bynow.
I joke when shit bugs me, yeahyeah, I see through your shit um
(17:44):
.
I see through yours too, niggaso much transparent.
I'm in the middle of this shitum, no, nigga, cause you be
talking shit on the slick slidetoo.
I don't know what you'retalking about.
No, you be on the slick slidetalking shit too.
You just don't talk as muchshit you said.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
McFly no as much shit .
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You said McFly no, slick Slide talking shit.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, slick Slide is a dope rapper.
I appreciate it, don't playwith me.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Oh, you need the question, kevin, yeah, yeah,
yeah, what emotions arise whenyou realize you've outgrown
something or someone, and how doyou process them?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
A lot like that.
Usually it's relief.
Usually it's relief becausesometimes I look back on shit.
Sometimes it's Relief.
Usually it's relief Becausesometimes I look back on shit,
sometimes it's nostalgia.
You look back, oh, I'm so gladI don't do that shit.
Yeah, for sure it was a goodtime.
But Okay.
Boy, was it dumb Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I used.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
On the booger sugar.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Oh huh, that's what I call my energy drinks.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I was finna, say you be doing these drinks.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
A little pre workout.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, never heardnothing about it, it's only that
one Strip flips.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
That NutriShop gave me Never again.
Never again.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
It made you itchy.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
It had me turned up.
I said dude, you saidNutri-Grain.
No, it was at Nutri-Shop.
They give samples of shit andthey gave me a pre-workout.
He's like this will get youright.
I took that shit.
I was amped.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Oh, I needed a C4 in Texas.
Nigga, I was spent and I waslike I gotta drink this.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I feel the tingle.
I said I don't know what thefuck you gave me, but this shit
here.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Hey.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
You ever got a free bag of ice when you bought
something?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
No, that's weird, right yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Just making sure it was a big bag.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Yeah, I was just like I bought a case of Ben's, he
was like, oh yeah, just take abag of ice, and I was like, all
right.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
But the guy we were with.
He just took a bag of ice too.
He didn't tell him to take abag of ice.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That must be some texture shit.
I want a free bag of ice.
That's weird.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Sorry, it was a tangent, but yeah, that was.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
What did you end up doing with the ice Did?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
you have a cooler to put it in?
I just left it in the Airbnb.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Did you leave a note?
Here's some free ice.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Thanks for the I think they'll figure it out yeah
, but relief is mine, that'sthat's definitely most of the
time, but I guess, like you said, it depends like it could make.
It could be something that,yeah, damn that sucks, but I
think generally even after that,relief comes eventually, yeah,
(20:20):
yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So, yeah, I think I think I'll say the same thing.
I'd say relief, sometimeshappiness, sometimes a little
sadness, because sometimes yourun attached or fond of someone
and you realize like, yeah, thisain't conductive to me, no more
, I gotta move on the reliefpart when I mean, I guess the
(20:43):
relief is part like what Dez wassaying, like you.
Just you realize it wasn't foryou.
Now it's one less thing you gotto worry about, type deal, yeah
, so yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
It's like a cord cut yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
That's what they say I guess it goes through the
emotions you go from from.
Maybe in the beginning it'sanger or frustration, eventually
you get to, I guess, relief orclosure why anger?
Because sometimes you might bemad at yourself at the moment
that you allowed yourself to betaken advantage of hell.
Yeah, okay preach, preach.
(21:21):
Dad me fly to one preachingabsolutely so you hit that point
and then you start, you know,going through the the array of
emotions and then you, then youget to the closure and
acceptance.
So you hit that relief point.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
You're like, damn, I'll have to deal with that no
more but, yeah, it didn't startwith anger or frustration, and
then a realization I definitelythink it's one of those things
where you start to Pull yourcircle tighter and tighter
together and then the walls andthe application to apply to be
in the friend zone Becomesextensive.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Glad you cleared that up about the desk.
We'll see it.
She set that moment so fastAnyway.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
And I don't even see him coming half the time?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
um, you can't say.
You can't say coming yeah, howdo you handle the guilt about
growing friendships orrelationships?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
I don't handle guilt, I don't handle it.
I don't feel guilty because atsome point I feel like at some
point I've said things to you tosay to try to help you better
yourself, and I'm not as afriend, I'm not going to let you
go until I see you.
Just, you have no interest inleveling up.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I think the only guilt I would feel is like
realizing that they didn't havethat realization for themselves.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
There's like, it's like like survivor's guilt,
that's more like sorrow.
Yeah, yes, I feel sorry for you.
I don't feel guilty.
I don't feel sorry for nobodythough Nobody.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
No, I'm just saying like in that sense I don't feel
like, oh, what the fuck Like youjust feel like, oh, man, that
sucks, that you didn't realizethat there's better things in
life than whatever you're,whatever road you're on, kind of
thing, like not.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
But I'll feel sorry, like it's like it sucks, you
just didn't I think you just runinto people who are just
content with how their life isyeah and it's because it's more
comfortable to deal with whatyou're used to than to
experience something different.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Okay, yeah, hello.
I do feel the guilt though I'mnot even gonna lie In this
marriage and in my friendshipthat I had for 28 years and we
parted ways.
I think it's because I knowthat they're good people.
We just are not good in thesame.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
Just not good for you .
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah.
But I know they're good peopleand I know that they they mean
well in a lot of instances andsometimes I know that they just
really they just do not fuckingknow that what you're doing is
harmful.
I really, truly believe that.
So I do feel guilty because I,in my friendship, because I have
been friends with her for sodamn long, like I didn't want to
(23:58):
leave her behind, becausethat's been my we grew up since
elementary school and in mymarriage, because in initially,
when I got married, I literallyjust wanted to be go through it
all with my husband and I'm mepersonally, I'm starting to feel
like that, for better or forworse, there's a fucking line
(24:21):
that across it then you got tomake a fucking decision.
So but I still feel guiltybecause I didn't enter this
marriage before God to beleaving niggas behind.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Fuck with that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think for me it's.
I don't feel guilt because Idon't.
I guess I don't necessarily gotsome serial killer shit.
I don't necessarily feel likeit's outgrowing, I just feel
like it's growing apart.
I don't know what anythingoutgrowing, I just feel like
it's a growing apart.
Yeah, Like I don't know whatanything their life like has for
(25:09):
them.
You know, maybe it's not whatmine is, Maybe we aren't
supposed to grow in the samerate or the same place, same
areas or whatever.
I just look at it as a growingapart.
It's not like a any ill willlike most of the time.
So almost all the time likefuck it, I let people do their
(25:30):
thing and fuck it.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
It's not like a.
You know what I mean.
I get that.
I get that.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I see that Because I never try to leave it where it's
.
This should end on a bad noteIf it's on a bad note it's from
you.
Speaker 5 (25:47):
I don't really necessarily see it as this is
ending.
I just see it as well.
I mean, you want to stay on the28th floor.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, that's this 35th floor when you get to the
35th floor.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
We can pick it up.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I just mean in that relationship, in that that sense
, in that moment it is endingright there like so you could
pick it back up, but it's adifferent relationship is it
ending or are you saying goodbye?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
are you saying goodbye?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
or are you saying see you later, probably not saying
much of anything?
I'm just be living if.
I see you out there cool, wecome back.
It'd be a differentrelationship.
So you build a differentrelationship is probably with a
different person at that point.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Right, because one thing I've seen I'm pretty sure
I can attest to that, like weall, like I reached the point
where it was fun, when it wasjust me, I could be a little
more lenient.
But now I have a child, now Ican't do everything I was doing
before.
Now I can't react to everylittle thing, I can't just go
(26:43):
out and just wall out.
So now my actions directlyimpact my child.
So now I have to put myself insituations that doesn't harm my
child.
Yeah, absolutely, becauseprotecting me and protecting my
inner peace is ultimatelyprotecting my child and her
upbringing.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Facts.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
You know what I'm saying, so it's like I'm not
going to.
I can't hang around someone whowas threatening the life of my
child by their actions or bywhat they want to be involved in
.
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Absolutely Sex.
I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
That's why I come out to the suburbs.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
We don't go crazy places.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
I told you about the longtime friend.
I look at his family but hischoices in life and he would be
like, hey, I mean we should gohoop.
And I'm thinking like nigga,we're in two separate spots.
What you just said resonatedbecause it was like in my mind
I'm like it would be dope tohang out with you, but I got too
much to lose.
In my mind I'm like it would bedope to hang out with you, but
I got too much to lose and yougot a lot of bad shit attached
(27:43):
to you that they would use me toget back to you it's like I
always say like I got cousins,that's in the life.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
I can't hang out with you, bro, cause what if I'm
with you?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
and that's the day y'all out on the slide, on you
and I hope he understands thatcause we go back a long way but
he got so much shit attached tohim but I just in my good
conscience cannot associate thatbecause then it leads back to
my family and I can't Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
That's a good decision I got to go home.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I got to be with my family.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, that's a good decision.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
I mean, ultimately it's always the damn innocent
one that get hurt any damn way,like even it's always the damn
innocent one to get hurt anydamn way, like, even if it's a
situation it could be us threeand, let's say, a fight breakout
.
I mean, why are we fighting?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Because there's got to be a valid reason why we're
fighting Now.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
if he just stepped on your shoe, I'm not going to a
heated spades game, but do youstill have this energy?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
I don't play spades with people.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Did everybody stop asking?
I don't play spades with me,you stop asking.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I only play spades with family.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Okay, I respect that you don't fight family.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Yeah, but that's different Ain't no, cops ain't
being called.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, cops ain't being called, Shots ain't being
fired.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Cops ain't family.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
I don't play spades period, Because I see how people
get over spades.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Because niggas got different rules.
Some people say you can carrythree bags, some people can't
have no bags, and then if yourpartner can't count, and then
now you looking at him likenigga you, then you got money on
the game.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah, talking about, I don't know how to play spades.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
That's what I'm saying I don't play bags, you
guys got to bring bags.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
I just got to list the shit.
Just another nigga moment.
You got to bring grocery bagsand shit A bag is when.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Okay, so there's 13.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It's a whole case.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
There's 13,.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
They call them books, right, there's 13 books, books,
and my partner said he got five, but then we end up collecting
10 books.
That 10th book is a bag, right,so?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
normally they'll be negative.
Okay, I'm not gonna go aheadand let you know you just all
right um the cards you have inyour hand no it's okay.
How do you set boundaries withpeople who no longer align with
your values?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
with the friendship.
I just fucking stop talking toher ass.
I tried to have a conversationwith her that we I don't know.
I tried to have a conversationwith her.
The conversation didn't go theway it needed to go, so I just
stopped talking to her.
In my relationship, um, I don'tknow how to I I I'm still
(30:25):
figuring that out.
It's hard to set boundarieswith a nigga.
You fucking, so I'm still.
Speaker 5 (30:33):
I mean it is, I would say, um, I probably just walk
away, like I just let them knowI can't do this, and if you
change your values, your valuesalign with mine.
Then maybe we can have sometype of friendship.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I keep a friendship but, like I usually keep it
there at a distance, like theyare not allowed to access a
certain past a certain so it'slike, like, even with that said
person, like anytime you hit meup, it's all love, I'll sit
there and shoot with you, butjust know you're not getting
access past.
How's life?
(31:09):
How are you doing?
How's the fam?
But you're not getting.
Like, oh, we should go hang outand do this.
Nah, that's not happening.
But I always got love for you.
You know, if there's a way Ican help, I'll try.
But past this you're notgetting past this.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
People get mad at me because I tell them I ain't got
time to hang out.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
It's a fact, though they be like you lying.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
And then I tell them my schedule.
I'm like oh, you really ain'tgot.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, it's a fact, though I don't have time to hang
out, you have an athletic child, you busy, my time is her time,
you busy, so yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
That's why, when I do get free time, it's very, very
valuable to me.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
I thought you were going to say it was balconies
One month Give me a nice oceanview.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Where are you going?
Speaker 5 (31:58):
I ain't decided yet Somewhere with the ocean Balcony
.
When I book my hotels, I wantto be on floor 20 or higher, you
leaving like the country yougot no DR, no, no.
Jim has to take all the money.
We ain't got money.
If I go to DR, I might have togo by myself yeah, right, nigga
(32:18):
please cause I always say Ialways say I'm married in US
okay, so you won't be going toDR.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I was like, thank you , you won't be going.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
When she hear this, she going to be my ass.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Clip this shit up, because this needs to be a clip.
When she hear this, she goingto be my ass.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
I might text her or tell her.
Tell her oh, I like when sheget my ass.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
I'm so into it.
Everybody answer.
Oh gosh, Put you at a distance.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
I want to see what does it mean to embrace growth
even when it feels uncomfortableor lonely.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
It starts off being scary and then, when you go
ahead, first until you realizethat you ask yourself what
you're scared of, because downyou see another version of
yourself.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I need therapy.
What are you thinking about?
It's like that's what I thoughtabout about pussy, but now it's
like the first time it was like, oh my God, what am I getting
into?
And it's like then you slide in.
You're like what was I afraid?
Speaker 5 (33:17):
of this is amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Anyway, I keep going.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry nope, you're, you know, you've
done it for the day, but I meanafter, after, after you embrace
it and you realize it wasactually better for you, and
then you realize that and yourealize that you leveled up in
the area of your life I'm sorry,I gotta stop let me be serious.
(33:42):
I hear you, I hear you, I'mjust my brain stuck in there.
I need therapy, bro, yes, you do.
And the second part, um, just,it's just fucking.
Yeah, frank.
Um, the second part anythingnew is gonna be uncomfortable to
start with, yeah, and then whenyou start changing your views
(34:05):
and your morals and your values,you're gonna to feel lonely.
It's funny you said that, likeI think I sent Des a clip of
David, of David Banner, and whenhe was like I understood my
mission, that no, people didn'talign, like didn't align with me
, they didn't think how I think.
So he said I expected to belonely.
I embrace it.
So you have to understand thatanytime you choose to level up
(34:29):
in life, you should expect to belonely, because it's going to
take time for you to find yournew tribe.
It's going to take time for youto find people who are on your
same wavelength of thinking,because the people behind you
they're used to the old versionof you.
A lot of them are not going toget accustomed to the new
version because they arecomfortable with the old version
.
Because they're comfortablewith the old version because
(34:49):
they could talk a certain way tothe old version.
They could do things that areover there.
So now, when you start settingboundaries and you start letting
people know I ain't the one orthe two now, you different, but
you better for yourself isn'tthat a trip though that people
can, they'll put you in a boxand feel like that because of
(35:11):
how they've seen you.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
When you try to say I'm not that box, no more,
they'll be like no, but I'vealways seen you as that box.
I can't get you know.
They can't get comfortable withthe thought of you being
outside of that box.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
That's a trip.
That's because they're stuck intheir box.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Too many times, people put their insecurities
onto you, and so when you'redoing things that they don't
think they can do themselves, itmakes them uncomfortable,
because you were previously at alevel where they felt like they
could do anything you weredoing.
But now that you leveled up andyou show them that it's
(35:45):
possible, now they start lookingat themselves like, well, that
means I'm not doing enough.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
And then that's when the hate started and the shady
comments and the passiveaggressive shit that you come
across, especially like we'vehad this conversation about the
podcast.
But I'm sure it's happening foryou at times where you have
somebody make a slightly passiveaggressive comment about you
doing a podcast and you be likefuck is that supposed to mean?
And you catch on to it and ithas nothing to do with you.
(36:10):
It has everything to do withthe reflection of what they're
not doing with their lives.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
That's a trip.
Good shit, good shit.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
You all right, kevin?
Yeah, I was listening, I waslistening, you got nothing to
input.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Uh, he answered, didn't he?
Speaker 5 (36:32):
no, no, I didn't, I haven't got my version of Kev
and I like I like it when he get.
Well, you know, give me the,give me the question again,
cause I feel like I was on theopposite of you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
He's been here before he be like no, he's been here
before.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
What does it mean to embrace growth even when it
feels uncomfortable or lonely?
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
He just picked up on what I was saying.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
You're right, because growth is supposed to be lonely
, lonely.
But I feel like it's a personalthing, yeah, like it's a
personal growth, and I don'tfeel like I have to outgrow
people, like I'm just outgrowingmy old self and those people
that are aligned with just me aswho I am are still going to be
in that, like I might be in adifferent spot, but it's like I
(37:26):
guess I go further than just Idon't know.
It's just a feeling.
I just a feeling you kind ofknow who you fuck with, you know
what I mean.
So I've had friends and I lostfriends and it's like, yeah, I
don't know it doesn't I don'tknow.
it seems weird that it's like,yeah, sometimes it hurts and
(37:47):
sometimes it's like, nah, thiswas supposed to happen, it's
probably better for both of us.
I hope so.
You never wish anything bad onanybody.
Speaker 5 (37:57):
I now subscribe to the notion that friends are
seasons and chapters, some ofthem.
I'm not saying all of them, butyou know yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Cause there was some shit I saw.
That fucked me up.
I was like damn, why'd you postthat shit?
And it was like about thehomies, and it was like there's
going to be one homie that, uh,everybody's there for their
funeral, and then there's goingto be one homie that sees
everybody's funeral, and thenthere's one homie who no one's
at their funeral and I was likedamn that fucked me up and I
(38:34):
don't know why, but yeah.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Damn yeah, cause I always tell my wife I gotta die
first.
I said, I said I gotta diefirst, cause if you die first,
yeah, I gotta die first.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Because if you die first they might as well.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
Nah, this is gonna be a bad day and she's like.
You gotta be strong for the kidman.
Fuck them kids.
I'm going to do more.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
So like I think me doing this shit with trying to
go back to school and do thisshit and like seriously take it.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
Sorry, my wife wants to let you know she's proud of
you for that.
Well, I'm trying.
I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
But like learning shit, like that is not a little
bit.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Y'all don't tell me nothing.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
He said it last week on the podcast.
He said it on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I might have been high.
I'm from a high for my height.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Well, yeah, I'm gonna try to go back to school, uh,
but something like that is likewhat do you do?
Like, once you learn that shit,you can't go backwards.
I can't go backwards now, Iknow all this shit, but what the
fuck do I do with that?
You know?
what I'm talking about, theschooling, yeah okay, like you
apply it yeah, that's I know,but I'm saying that's.
That shouldn't change anythingabout a person like I think
(39:54):
you're supposed to get thatknowledge and learn these things
and then figure out how to passthat to people like that's.
I think that's how I feel.
I don't know, so the growthdoesn't scare me in that degree.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
I don't know if that answers any of that mcflaw, as
it's funny because I'm hearingeveryone's statement and it made
me think um, when you thinkabout, like, like, when they say
, like the royce the five ninesaid on that, on the caterpillar
was, just remember, when you'repraising the butterfly, don't
ever forget the caterpillar.
And it makes sense because,like, you know that that
(40:35):
personal growth and being byyourself is that, that lonely
time where you're trying to, youknow you're growing and you're
becoming something different.
Time where you're trying to,you know you're growing and
you're you're, you're becomingsomething different.
And then you know, peoplepraise you on the other side,
when you're, when you've you'vereached success or you've
reached that, that milestonethat you were trying to reach.
But, like, like what Mo wassaying, when people try to put
(40:58):
you in a box and they don't wantto accept who you are, there's
always that process buteventually, when they realize
you're something different, Ithink that that's what the true,
true, true, rare thing in life,where you have times, where you
have beauty, is in that, thatstruggle of getting to that
point.
So, yeah, you might feel lonelyat a time, but when you get to
(41:20):
a point where you actually gotto, where you're trying to go,
and you feel good in that, inthat accomplishment got to where
you're trying to go and youfeel good in that in that
accomplishment, uh, no matterwhat kind of setback or struggle
or journey you're going through, you feel like, hey, I got to
where I was trying to get to Um.
So it can be scary, but itusually not all.
(41:40):
All cases is usually worth itto go through Um.
But everybody's journey isdifferent to go through.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Um, but everybody's journey is different.
Can I?
Can I say, uh, I think at acertain point it's supposed to
be lonely.
Yeah, like, because, like howyou like with the caterpillar,
like at some point you'resupposed to go.
Hey, I gotta go inward and likego figure this out like it's got
to be a me thing.
I can't have any fuckinginfluence on this and like, no
matter who it is, like you can't, some things have to be just
(42:12):
you.
So it's lonely.
But it's like, as you said, asyou go through it at some point
with the caterpillar, like yousee what's going on and whatever
is around recognizes that Ifit's a predator, it will try to
attack.
If it's a predator, it will tryto attack.
If it's friend, it roots for it.
So it's like you find out a lotin that sense too, because when
you're in a certain state, ifyou're being attacked in a
(42:35):
certain way, then you're like oh, that needs to be cut out, when
I get the fuck out of this.
Because it's like how dare youcome at me when I'm in where I'm
at and you see what I'm doing,because it's not hidden, I'm
just doing this without anyinfluence.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
So yeah, I definitely agree with that, kevin, because
I feel like what I've had to doand what I've learned is that I
need to be alone, to bevulnerable with myself.
Yeah Right, I need to besomewhere where I'm not.
I don't have my husband face onmy father face, whatever,
whatever.
I'm literally in a dark roomand it's me and I'm evaluating.
(43:13):
Why do you feel this way?
Why are you responding this way?
Why is this triggering you?
Why is this making you angry?
And that it's those spaces,that what I've done over the
last six or seven months or so,that's really helped me to
understand myself and to be ableto now recognize things a lot
(43:35):
more in the open when it'shappening.
Like I had a conversation withthe wife last night about
something and I said somethingand then she started talking to
me and I immediately had to stopher and apologize, because now
I caught it.
Ok, now I see.
I see why you're mad.
I see what I did.
I apologize, I'm sorry for this.
I'm going.
(43:55):
I always say I'm not perfect,I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm
not going to do it again, butI'm going to make the steps to
try not to do it again.
So I agree with what you'resaying.
I had to look internally and Iknow for me personally that I
can't do that when I'm aroundother people.
I need to be by myself.
Maybe some OJs in my ear.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
OJs.
Oh, lord, nigga, you don't knowthat's one of them, ojs.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I'm old nigga.
Speaker 5 (44:24):
OJs and spinners reflect on my internal feelings
in order to express myselfbetter to the people I care
about.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
yep those are.
Yeah, y'all niggas got me overhere halfway crying anyway damn
you dare today.
I am.
I was looking at the tissue.
I was like damn damn she movedthem.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
You want me to give them to you.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Nah, I'm a man, I'll be cool.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
What steps can you take to rebuild after letting go
of situations that no longerserve you?
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I don't think you have.
There's nothing to rebuild,because I think you're letting
go of the situation as you'rebuilding yourself.
So there's nothing to berebuilt because, regardless of
what happened in the past, it'sstill part of your foundation.
Yeah, where you were, you'vejust outgrown it.
And now, and it's stillsomething that you're going to
(45:22):
remember because it's going tobe a part of your, it's going to
be a part of the new identity,in a way, to where it reinforces
why you've made the change Iguess that's why I don't like
that outgrown shit.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Like I don't like that.
I don't like that phrasebecause it's like what you said
with the foundation.
I'm like then it's yourconcrete nigga.
Like what are you talking about?
Like it's not outgrown.
It's like I'm building on thisnow and I'm not saying anything
but I'm just saying like when weuse that, it feels like it's a
negative way.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
I mean I thought he was trying to communicate with
you because you said you talkwith your hands you definitely
said that no, he meant but yeah,like it's your foundation.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Like that's how I feel.
Like everything is like part ofit.
It's like, nigga, no matterwhat it was, fuck it.
Like the foundation is about tobe solid as fuck.
Like you can't break this, likeyou can't shake it.
There's no earthquake bigenough to fuck this up, so it's
like you got to take all thatshit and, like, put it in like
it's, it's, it's I don't know.
Speaker 5 (46:27):
I see it's like what you sound like.
I see it more so like, uh, lifelessons.
Yeah, if you learned, like it'sstill it's there, like the
outcome of whatever you wentthrough is still there and
you're you're going to rememberthat in times when you need to
remember it to either reinforcewhat you're doing or to remind
you not to go back you.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
You know, the cool thing sometimes I think about
this is like you can go througha whole lot of shit and like,
say, like you lose somebody andyou could go through a whole lot
of shit with that person, likeeven bad shit.
Like once they're gone, youthink about the bad shit, but
it's in a good light.
It's weird how that shit works.
(47:07):
Where you're like, hmm, I'mglad we went through that and
still work through that, like Istill have that, I have those
things, I have this, I have that.
So it's like fuck, that's justsupposed to be how it is.
And like we don't look at thatwith just life, like just when
shit happens.
Where you're like this shit isis bad, but it's like nigga,
maybe it's supposed to be badright now, but I can't quit.
(47:29):
You know what I mean.
So that's the concrete, that'sthe foundation.
I don't know, sorry.
Speaker 4 (47:37):
It's okay, she'll be sorry.
Speaker 5 (47:39):
Okay, now see, the crying is okay.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
The knocking the mic over the crying is perfectly
fine friend.
Speaker 5 (47:44):
The knocking the mic over is what we draw the line.
I caught it Pause.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Y'all just fine.
A rave, boy A rave.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Are you having an emotional moment?
You're right.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Pause.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
You ain't wrong.
Pause, y'all about tired ofy'all.
Speaker 4 (48:00):
Ugh McFlauch.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Or Des.
I think in some circumstancesyou do have to rebuild after,
just because, for example inrelationships, you can't really
heal where you're hurting atyeah, but I just gonna go.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's Nick, but yeah, I mean, I guess it is.
In a sense it is a rebuild,because you're tearing something
(48:35):
that you did build and throwingit in the mix why you looking
like that what happened cause Iknow you got some bullshit to
say no, it was what you saidlike, let me do it, I took it.
Speaker 5 (48:48):
I took it somewhere, my brain took it somewhere else.
My brain made it sexual.
That's it.
Speaker 4 (48:51):
How you know this, nigga, because we're men, you
know, it don't take much, oh God.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
We're talking about Mo Lethal.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Oh God, I'm ready to clock out you know how many
disclaimers Andy's done.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Thoughts of Molito of Molito oh god, I see it now oh
shit what I'll say is I agreewith Des on that take cause, for
example, in instances whenyou're.
(49:31):
What I'll say is I agree withDes on that take Because, for
example, in instances when yourealize something no longer
serves you, sometimes you haveto be able to, to Mo's point,
identify things that you mayhave been a problem in in past
situations and relationships andfriendships where you realize
there might have been instanceswhere you weren't being a good
person, that you that, that youhave to take accountability for
(49:53):
and that's the real rebuildingpart is saying you know what,
let me take that out of and letme let me work to be better here
, because I wasn't that when Iwas in that situation because,
like I tell them all the time, alot of times you have these
conversations with people yourealize that it wasn't a
one-sided issue.
It was like both people hadissues in in the relationships
(50:16):
and friendships or whatever,where it's like sometimes one
side didn't take accountabilityfor what was going on.
So maybe when they separatethey realize I got to take
accountability more and be moreof this and a better person in a
way is a rebuilding stepbecause, you're trying to better
yourself.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Is that a remodel?
I feel like you don't tear itdown, you can't take it all out.
Sometimes you do.
I mean, I guess you're just ashitty nigga.
Speaker 3 (50:44):
I'm saying there are shitty people that have rebuilt
their entire life Like nigga.
I remember when was just ashitty nigga.
I'm saying there are shit.
Speaker 4 (50:47):
people that have rebuilt their entire life, Like
nigga.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
I remember when you used to do this and this and
this, nigga, and what happened.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yes, I have talked to people where they're like hey,
man, I was a piece of shit backthen and you're like, hey, I
didn't want to say it.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Yeah, and they rebuild completely because they
so sometimes it's a beautifulthing to see too.
I work for people that do that,because that takes a lot to be
able to go from being a piece ofshit to saying I realized the
error of my ways, man, and Ijust changed man, I rebuilt.
It's cool to see.
Speaker 5 (51:16):
Yeah, it's beautiful to watch.
I also think that sometimes incertain relationships, you may
be triggering each other'strauma without recognizing it.
Absolutely, true, absolutely,and so it's just a bunch of
conversations of traumaresponses yeah, yeah, nothing's
getting done definitely, andit's just yeah, compiling on
each
Speaker 2 (51:32):
other, and then you never get to a resolution yeah,
I, I agree with that, but it'stypically when you start the
damn relationship, traumabonding.
Yeah, that's a problem?
Speaker 5 (51:42):
yeah, yeah, the trauma part, not the bond.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Oh oh man, it's like you, I'm just.
You could never be like acounselor no, like what'd you
say like no fuck giving soundadvice and be like hey look, I
(52:08):
wrote this down and it's funny,like I got it.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
At one point, when you were expressing your
feelings, you said something andI wrote it down and I wanted to
come back to it because it waspretty fucking funny, like yeah,
anyway, with that being said,go past this.
Um, with that being said, Ican't go past this.
With that being said, this hasbeen episode 189 of the
(52:32):
Heavyweight.
Speaker 5 (52:33):
Podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Like, subscribe, share comment.
All that, we love you.
Till next time, peace, peace.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
I'm sweating.
That's a wrap y'all.
That's how she rip, so makesure you click like subscribe.
Tune in.
We're on the Austrian platform.
So until next time we'll hideat you.
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