Reparenting Yourself

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What happens when your inner child is calling the shots in your adult life? This raw, vulnerable conversation dives deep into inner child healing and how unresolved childhood trauma quietly shapes our relationships, decision-making, and self-perception.

The hosts open up about confronting painful family truths, standing firm in their experiences without guilt, and what real healing actually looks like. “I was F-ing people up because I was fed up,” one host admits—proving just how much unhealed wounds can silently damage our closest connections until we finally face them.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I can't even see balconies, the same, I'd be like
, oh god, that shit.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
I love women.
Yeah, I just prefer black ones.
It's just, I'm being real aboutit save that, save that for
later.
I do love me a black woman,especially with a fro in a
sundress well, the last blackwoman I encountered with a fro
in a sundress.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, uh, the last black woman I encountered with a
fro I had with almost my lifeand I recognized it and I went
I'm gonna stand down jesus henryshe about to fight you.
Oh, she wasn't going, she was inchicago.
Oh, and I, she's gonna shootyou.
And it was the, the cardealership or not dealership,
the rental car place, and Iwasn't happy with how things
went.
So I started getting in and shelike kind of did a little thing

(01:06):
and I was like I was like oh,she's, she's prepared she's
about to match it.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
She's about to match that energy yeah whatever you're
ready, what's up everybody?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
it's your girl guest, the diva hosting today, so we
gonna see how this goes.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Introduce yourselves.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Damn that's all it did, damn.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
I missed that nigga already.
He make me feel invited, theseniggas here, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
We just messing with you.
Y'all know these niggas get onmy damn nerves.
Introduce your little punk assself.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Now we gotta be punk ass.
No just you T-S Sweat.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Teef Sweat.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Nobody.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Hey, I saw a video you did and you picked up a big
ass fucking stick and you werelike hey, a toothpick, they got
died.
This nigga is hilarious.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
It's your boy, molito man.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
How was y'all weeks?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Well.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Long.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Pause.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I guess I was gonna wait.
I think you gotta pause that.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I think you gotta pause that.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I was gonna wait.
He ain't gotta pause the shit.
His week was long.
How was your week?
He didn't finish his why.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
He didn't finish his.
Why you cut?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
him short.
Yeah, I was about to go onvacation, but fuck that vacation
, go ahead.
She said damn nigga, back tothe zone, that's it.
Yeah, I'm going to go to theWolf Lodge and shit.
Oh damn, come to have some fun.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
With the kids, yeah.
I'm not what the fuck, I don'tknow what they got there.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
That might actually be dope going to a wood by
yourself.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I don't know what they have there as an adult.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, I think they might watch you.
You ain't got to go in thewater park just being a hotel
watcher, oh you just mean to bethere because I was like.
I feel like they might just belike what is this weird nigga?
Hey, my man, he been here forlike three days and ain't got no
kids, children's place, yeah,yeah, I feel like that happened
to me the other day.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
That was, yeah, it was yesterday.
It was at five below me and thewife while the uh daughters at
practice and I was just um, wewere getting stuff for the you
know our puppy and like I waswalking down the aisles and like
this is uh, this man and histwo daughters were walking by so
I stepped back so his daughtercan pass and he looked at me
like nigga, what are you doingin the toy section?
I got kids too.
Nigga like she not with me, butbut he look like he just

(03:25):
confused like why are you here?
Like, hey, I backed out the wayso your daughter can pass.
I know how it is.
I'm like look here, I know yousee my child move nigga.
What's good, though, um, youknow healing and uh and growth
that's it.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I mean was that this week you got a dog?
It looked like he's glossedover that.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
No, we had a dog.
We had him about three weeksnow.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
That dog is so cute.
I don't feel like you mentionedthat.
I didn't.
I mentioned it.
Yeah, you did.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
A couple weeks ago I mentioned that we were going to
get the dog because she hit allour marks.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Okay, my bad.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, not paying attention, huh.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
She named her Macy she's made a good story.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Oh, that's so cute.
That's a good story.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
You know, yeah.
So and we were like I keptsaying like dang, and then.
So my wife figured out Macy isone of the characters on one of
the shows she watched, so shenamed her after one of her
characters on one, I mean yeah,because it couldn't be who I was
thinking of.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's a good name for that dog.
That's cute.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I was thinking childless and good-nigh, no, no
no, that baby don't know thatlady.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
That lady don't know that lady.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I like Macy Gray.
I think she got her raspinessand her whims.
I like her.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Oh man.
Rest in peace, angie.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Oh, I thought, thought you about to say macy
gray?
I was like what?
Oh, yes, we are, yes, legend.
Yeah, I'm gonna say this to youand don't don't say nothing
crazy back to me, okay.
Okay, in reference to yousaying that you had a week of
healing and growth and whateveryou, your weight loss journey,
you and your wife lookphenomenal.
No one is trying to fuck eitherone of you.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
I need you to speak into the mic though.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
But you and your wife look phenomenal, Like amazing
job on your weight loss journey.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Thank you.
Thank you for not saying I'mcrazy, because I know it was
hard.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
You look good, me too .
Thanks, kevin, stop trying tofuck, hey man.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
He's going, gonna get it out one way or another.
That's what she said.
Yeah, I'll let y'all have thatmy man not here.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
I got it.
I got a represent for my man.
He's not here.
He might.
He might say that's low hinkingfreak, though oh like old man
balls okay

Speaker 2 (05:46):
everybody so we're gonna move on, because hell no,
we ain't finna talk about oldnigga balls over here.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Okay, I had a great week dragging him across the
street that was your week, justa snail of balls great week.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
I had a great week, was it?
Yes, I did.
I had a great week.
Are you killing?

Speaker 4 (06:02):
I am healing because I was trying.
I was giving you counsel.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I was getting you a little tad bit.
I thought you're going to startpaying.
Oh charge, kaiser, baby, I haveinsurance.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
I don't work for Kaiser, I'm independent.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh, he wants under, he want cash yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I get it.
You're talking about Apple Pay.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
Non, non, non taxable it's a holy.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Whatever, speaking of healing, we are going to talk
about the inner child today.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
Are we?

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yes, we are, yes, we are.
So let's get going.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
My inner child wants some Oreos.
Shit, mine too.
I was really hoping I saw apound cake when I walked in.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
I forgot to tell that's good.
I should have brought them damnRice Krispie treats.
But it's cool, I asked her atthe last second and I think she
ain't making that shit now.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
It's my fault anyway, what y'all ready?
Yeah, of course, yeah what uh,does a healed inner child look
like to you, and how do you knowwhen the work is complete?

Speaker 1 (07:00):
a healed inner child would be, uh, someone who's not
afraid to you know, be silly,not worried about what other
people think about them whenthey're in their zone, their
happy space, vulnerable, willingto take risk.

(07:22):
That's how I see inner child,cause I feel like as you get
older, you get more reserved andcautious about shit.
So I think the healed innerchild kind of knows when to let
loose and knows who to be likethat around as well.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Okay, what was the second part?
And then the second part was uh, how do you know when the work
has been complete.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
So the inner work on that part, that's what it was
that I don't think it is.
I think that's always evolving.
I agree.
Yeah, I agree I agree.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
You know how I feel about healing not being linear,
so I definitely agree, you'regonna always be working on the
inner child yeah, there's a lot.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, you guys go.
I don't want to say no, goahead, say it's like there's
some inner children out there.
That's you just a kid nigga.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yeah ain't got there yet, that's who you is.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Nigga, that's who you gonna be.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
I just think that, uh , similar what Kevin was saying.
Once you've done the part ofhealing your past traumas, you
are now comfortable in yourspace and in your skin and in
your being.
You don't let anybody knock youoff your square or judge you
for what you like and what youdon't like, even when you don't
fit the societal norms of things.
I think that's what part ofbeing healed means that you, you

(08:47):
find your place, you and yourock with yourself and you get
to a state in life where youlove yourself and that's all of
that really matters.
The outside influences ouropinion, don't penetrate what
you built and you just you getto a situation to where you're
so secure in yourself that youcan't be moved.

(09:08):
I think that's what it lookslike and I.
But also I feel like for asecond part, I feel like it is a
constant journey becausethere's always going to be
things in life where you have towork on, because you're always
going to have some type of newexperience, some type of new
setback that you have to pushthrough.
So I feel like it's like yousaid it isn't a evolving thing

(09:28):
and it's not necessarily goingto always be stagnant.
It's going to be like you said,it's going to be something that
that kind of goes with the,with the flow of the time and
you know and what's going on inyour life, because you can.
You can be 10 toes down onsomething and be concrete and
then boom, you get blindsided bysomething you didn't expect.

(09:50):
So then you have to figure outhow to navigate that.
So I do feel like that'ssomething that you always have
to work towards.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, I definitely agree.
I think for me, a part ofknowing that I was starting to
work on my inner child was whenI was able to say things to my
parents and not feel guilty forsaying them Like I stood in my
truth, no matter how it wasgoing to make them feel, and I
wasn't afraid to just say hey,this, the way you behave when
you do this, makes me feel thisway and I can't accept that.

(10:21):
So I think that's when Istarted to realize that my own
inner child was beginning toheal.
Now I'm still working on her.
She still wants the Kinsey Nieraddress.
Buy it, I swear to God.
I'm thinking about it.
I'm thinking about going to trythe.
Muffica Zone at least, becausethey're expensive.
But I might yeah, I was goingto say, just try them, try them
on and take pictures in them.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
I'm not going to know .
Kim Sazer, Take a picture ofthe tag and go.
This is why I didn't buy thatshit.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
Or something that was so bad.
But to your point, des, I agree.
When I got to a point where I'mable to have conversations with
my parents and I'm openlyhonest with them and I can tell
a lot of times when I talk tothem they don't like what I'm
saying.
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, they don'tlike what I'm saying, but it's
to the point, to where I tellthem.
I said look, my experience ismy experience, your experience
is your experience.

(11:08):
We got two different views, but, unfortunately for you, the
view that matters in thissituation is mine, because I
have to navigate and move mylife and my actions based on my
peace, and if that is notsomething that does not align
with what you want, that'ssomething that you're going to
have to figure out and deal with, because it's not my problem.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Absolutely.
I secretly think sometimesparents know and they just don't
want to hear it because nobodylikes you holding a mirror to
their face.
I think sometimes they know.
They know they fucked you up.
I know when I fuck somebodyover.
I know when I've done wrong tosomebody.
You do and I think sometimesthey know and they just don't
want you to hold that mirror totheir face.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
I feel like it's harder with parents.
You feel like it's harderBecause they're not thinking
like that.
They're trying to do the bestthey can and they won't know
nothing unless you say something.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I don't think my daddy was doing the best he
could.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
I get the hindsight is 20-20, but I also feel like
parents also know where theycame up short.
Oh yeah, that's fine right butthen but the.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
They don't know the results though, because like say
, you got multiple kids and theycome out differently where
you're like they're gonna comeaffects them differently.
You know, I'm saying they don't.
I don't feel like they'rethinking that way.
They're gonna come outdifferently.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
But what I'm saying is is to your point, kevin.
To what you're saying yes, theymay not know the what the
outcome is, but we can't glossover that.
Regardless of the outcome, therole they played and so I'm not
saying my response to that ofhow I choose to deal with that
peacefully, even if that upsetsyou.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
You have to accept the fact that this is how I
process what happened Iunderstand that, but I'm saying
to say that they know theyfucked this up.
It's like I'm I think.
I don't think that'snecessarily true.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
No, I'm not saying they know they fucked us up,
that's all I'm speaking to.
I do believe to some degreethey tried the best they could
in the capacity that they had.
Right, because when you look atit especially I know, when I
look at my parents it's just abunch of people who was not
healed.
Yes, it's just a bunch ofpeople who did who was not
healed, there was not healed,and that you had children,
raising children, and theydidn't understand the gravity of

(13:09):
decisions being made, thegravity of actions being taken,
and they kind of just thoughtthey, they did what they thought
was best in the moment and,granted, a lot of those
decisions did not pan out greatwhen it becomes when it comes to
the relationship between themand their and their child.
But some situations did comeout great.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
But at the end of the day, no one spoke in that
scenario, I believe.
I believe nobody spoke in allthose scenarios.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
But my main thing is at the end of the day,
accountability still has to betaken, regardless of the outcome
.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I understood, but they don't know that unless you
tell them.

Speaker 4 (13:43):
What is I'm saying?
That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
I don't put the onus on them without saying anything,
because I've had thatconversation with my parents and
it's like different responses,but it's like, oh, I didn't even
think about that until it wasbrought to me.
I didn't know that.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, I get that I get that know the reason why.
I know my parents know my mom'sprobably gonna cuss me out when
she watches this.
But the reason why I know myparents know is because my mom
makes comments like well, I didthe best I could, I don't know.
Are you still mad at it?
I don't know.
Do you know?
You know there's an issue there, because why would you even
reference there being an issueif you, if you?

Speaker 1 (14:17):
didn't think there was one.
She knows because that.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
Have you spoken my, my dad has multiple kids and we
all are ready to cuss him out ona weekly basis.
His ass also knows you spoke it, but she says she spoke it yeah
.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
But the reaction from the mother, and that from her
mom, in that situation isdefensive.
Because she knew she's notwilling to, she's not really
listening, she's defendingherself, right?
Because I went throughsomething similar like that with
my mother and I told my mom.
I said it's not about youdefending yourself.
I said I understand that youdid the best you could.
You had a lot going on, youwere fighting a lot of battles,

(14:52):
but that doesn't change theoutcome of your actions and none
of your children hold youractions against you.
I said you're the one that isstill.
I said you're the one thatneeds to forgive yourself.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (15:05):
Because you're the one that gets defensive when
this happens.
Because if you talk to yourchildren we've all forgiven you,
we've all moved on in our life,we've all still tried to have
somewhat of a relationship withyou You're the one holding
yourself back.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Exactly Because in a lot of cases, they haven't
healed their inner child and nowthey got to heal their adult.
Yeah, haven't healed theirinner child and now they got to
heal their adult.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
So I wasn't speaking to any of that, I was speaking
just to the point of speaking itout, that's all Talk it out.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
No, you know, I get that.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
So sometimes you got to throw a fist and talk it out.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Oh my God, I'm not hitting my mama.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
I mean unless I.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
I mean there's something there not with mine
some households where I could go.
I mean what my dad?
But I'm not hitting I'm justtalking, sure, I ain't hit
nobody so, with that being said,what are some common signs that
someone is is operating withintheir inner child?
The inner child is running theshow running the show.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
That's bad, that's not good.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I thinkthat there's some niggas out
here, I think the biggest signis immaturity.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, and not willing to take accountability.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
Indecisiveness, absolutely Just inability to do
anything productive for longperiods of time.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
That's also ADHD.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
Something that you didn't say growing up.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, yeah, I think not holding accountability Like
I really firmly believe asadults we know what we are doing
and not taking thataccountability where you make
mistakes.
That's just one of the mostchildish things on earth to me.
That's how I know you reallyoperating in that space, because
you can't fix the problemunless you're an officer you

(16:41):
have to, you know, and you haveto be bold enough to be like,
hey, I fuck it up, can't cookover.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
I just don't know because I think about it like, I
thought about that differentlyand not in that aspect because I
feel like that's just thatcould be a you could not have
the inner child and just be afucking piece of shit and it's a
fact jack, but I don't know.
I feel like when I was when Ithought about that question, I
was thinking more along thelines of like when you look at

(17:14):
immaturity, yes, it's part ofthat, but like people who
impulsive, they don't prioritizeshit.
Like things that are a priorityto them is not like you know
your lights about to get cut off.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
Fuck you doing buying these rims, chris Brown is on
tour, nothing else matters.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
God damn it, because Christopher Brown is on tour.
Baby, I wasn't even going tosay nothing.
Them tickets going to selltomorrow, baby.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
They finna give up light bills, gas bills, car
notes and they gonna call thesecompanies and ask for extensions
.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Unless selfishness and that.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Listen, I said oh my God.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
One for self.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Christopher Brown.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
And he said he's doing them meet and greets.
I'm coming to see you, baby.
It's not gonna be 1100 thistime.
The meet and greet we want.
It's a stadium tour.
Yeah, the meet, and we were.
It's a stadium tour.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, I love him.
I'm coming to see you.

Speaker 4 (18:05):
Chris couple racks, I think it's.
I think it's Chris, summer andBryson yes, it is, yes, it is,
yes.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I so happen to love Summer Walker too, but, chris, I
love Summer.
Before the surgery maybe I'mgonna come and sing you your
songs okay don't do that, that's.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
I love him.
You gonna pay money to sing hissong?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yes, I'll sing to you yes, so will.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
Alright, just make sure you sing it to him, not to
us.
Record it.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Record it and will, and will, and will I don't need
to hear that at all.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Whatever, just the singing, though, please Did
everybody.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Listen.
The rest of that shit might go,though.
Please Did everybody Listen.
The rest of that shit might goviral, baby Okay.
That's on your page.
I go viral, we go viral.
No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
That's not how that shit work at all.
No-transcript.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
They're like hey here we are all alone in reference
to that, the inner child runningthe show.
I think a lot of times peoplewho have the inner child still
running the show.
Sometimes they have arresteddevelopment and you can clearly

(19:22):
see where about the traumastarted on their inner child.
They might be still veryteenage, like in their thinking,
or very adolescent, like intheir thinking, because that's
where their trauma startedthat's probably me.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
That's why I bought all those fuck all the shit that
I wanted.
You know what?
Honestly, couldn't afford thisshit.
Now I got this.
I did the same thing I did thesame thing.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
I did the exact.
I had a pager when nobody elsehad a pager where and I made
yourself marina valley at marinavalley and my best friend.
I made her get one because I hadone, so I had to have one at
the same time, so I made her getone too.
Bill was like 5 am dollars butI I wanted it as a kid really
bad and my mom wouldn't let mehave it and everyone else had
one.
So as soon as I was able to dothose things, I ran rampant when

(20:10):
I turned 18.
I had bullshit that did notmake sense.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Oh yeah, I was just weird dude.
I never wanted to be contacted.
Shit, call me.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
I wish we could go back to that shit, though,
because I don't want anybodycalling my damn phone now.
Beep me, though, because Idon't want nobody calling my
damn phone now beat me.
Shit, don't, don't, don't,don't.
You got text, yeah, messages.
I want to be beeped, okay, okay, because you can't tell if I
looked at that motherfucker ornot.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
The text message is gonna fucking tell you when that
, when that sidekick come backout, there's gonna have one two
of them.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
Chirp me two of them where you at yeah, I remember
that happened at mobile.
Some girls was like what's yourchirp?
And I was like I don't got nochirp.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
I thought that was the dumbest shit it was dumb as
hell I can't stand people whotalk on speakerphone, so don't
chirp me.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
I hated that damn chirp and then my mom would call
to cuss us out.
When we tried to respond, she'dpress that button and interrupt
the chirp, so you would justhear ding.
That shit used to piss me off.
No, but back to the questionhow do we start to reparent
ourselves?
Reparent, mm-hmm, I don't knowIn, I don't know In ways that
feel compassionate.

(21:22):
Check yourself.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
I think that goes what you were just saying about
the impulsiveness and all that.
Like you start, you scale thatback and you start to understand
that that's not conducive toyour way of living or your
future.
Create a you got to be moreBoundaries for yourself yeah.
You got to be more strategicwith your life got to be more

(21:44):
strategic with your life.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
You got to plan, map shit out.
Yeah, I think you have to firstrecognize that it is an issue no
I mean that's any issue,because I because honestly I
don't think I in the beginningrealized that I had that
anything from my childhood waspart of my adult issues.
I just thought this life beenlife and this is my damn
adulthood, so this is the damnproblem.
And then I realized, well, thedecisions I made to get me here
in my adulthood all stemmed fromthings I saw in my childhood.

(22:07):
So I think you have to firstrecognize that and then tackle
them one at a time.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
But it's not just your decisions, it's how you
process.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
It's your point of view, your train of thought, all
that comes from your upbringing, your childhood, because your
childhood really is to teach youhow to navigate through the
mental stress as well as thephysical growth of life.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah, I agree, you literally have to learn
everything.

Speaker 4 (22:38):
That's why I say raising children is a really
important and difficult goddamnjob.
That's why I do like Kevin wassaying.
I do agree that you have togive parents grace because you
don't want to really understandthe gravity of the situation of
being a parent until you winthat shit and you're like, oh
man, this shit is real.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
And don't nobody know what the fuck they're doing.
We all can say we know whatwe're doing, but it's like shit.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
They hit a certain age and you're like that ain't
what the fuck I thought you wasgonna do.
But yeah, I'm there now.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Wow, I just did all that for nothing.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, yeah, but for self uh, go ahead, I don't have
children, so I'm gonna outsidelooking in.
When it comes to parenting andthe, and the way that I view it
is, I think our parents camefrom a generation where mental
health wasn't important toanybody, they were not getting
therapy, they were not reallyworking on their healing.
And now this generation isreally sick of it and we want to

(23:28):
heal, and so many people areraising their children
differently because we are nowrecognizing that a lot of what
happened to us as childrencaused a problem in our
adulthood, and don't nobody wantto just intentionally fuck
their damn kids up.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Well, I think it goes both ways too.
I think some of it we go toofar and it's like sometimes we
gotta because it's like we don'tknow.
We don't know like we could doall this stuff and say 20, 30
years down the line.
It's like, hey, y'all went alittle too much on it, like you
know.
So we don't know, like it'sstill the same cycle.
But it's like certain things weknow aren't good for just the

(24:07):
psyche or things to see.
You know what I mean.
Like the shit that I seen ain'tgood for nobody, nobody.
So it's like there ain't gonnabe no generation.
Well, that's not true, becauseprior to even prior to my
parents generation, that waslike the normal shit.
Like, if you think about it,you're like that's nuts.
There's a whole generationwhere you're like man, that's

(24:31):
just how it went.
Like oh, they did that at thegrocery store.
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like nobody at the grocerystore, we can give a fuck, but I
don't know.
It's.
It's yeah, do what you feel isright, as long as you feel it's
right.
I guess, like, if you feel likeit's right and you feel like
it's not been, check it.

Speaker 4 (24:52):
I feel like everybody's fighting our
generation and our parents'generation.
We're all fighting the samemental battle.
I just feel that our generationis at a point where we have
more tools to deal with andrecognize what's going on.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
We're way more equipped.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
For those that choose to use those tools correctly,
because the internet is not atool.
Everyone is not a narcissist,and a lot of people I've noticed
that that's like the trend nomatter what you do, people on
the internet automatically.
Oh, you're a narcissist, but Idon't think.

Speaker 4 (25:26):
That's just.
People learn new words anddon't get nothing to say.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Don't say the internet's not a tool.
The internet is a tool.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Social media, not you .
You can't result to instagramfor your therapeutic needs.
No, it's not gonna work out.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
It depends on what account you're looking at,
because some accounts you'd belike okay these bitches is not
looking at the right account.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh oh, never mind, I ain't talking about that.
Kevin say some of them is ai ohwell that ai is moving me I
hate ai.
I'm sick of it sometimes it'shere to stay yeah, I see.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
I see robots is coming.
Kim kardashian got a robotboyfriend.
We're gonna go there anyways.
A lot of people um fear healingtheir inner child, um out of
fear of losing their edge ortheir creativity.
We'll talk about it later.
You ain't seen her on that.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
On that, no, this, that's inner child shit.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah yeah, that's.
That's a prime example ofneeding to heal your inner child
.
She definitely got her littleAI boyfriend.
Anyways, let me go back to thebeginning.
A lot of people fear healingtheir inner child out of fear of
losing that edge or thatcreativity, that thing that
makes them different.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
How do you respond to that?
I don't know.
I don't know how to, becauseI've never lost that guy.
I've always lost that guy, I'vealways been that guy.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
Talk your shit nigga Flexin' over there, huh he said
I'm that nigga.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
No, I'm not.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
I'm that nigga nigga Okay, talk good Okay.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
I've been the inner child shit.
I've always found a way to justbe me.
It's been cool.
It took a long while to getthere, but I don't know.
So I guess, to get there I willexplain, because I don't know

(27:31):
how it is after you get there ittook a lot of just looking at
myself and not giving a fuckabout how people thought.
Like, cause I used to care abouthow people perceived me, but
then I realized it don't fuckingmatter, cause no matter what I
do, they're going to perceive mehow they perceive me.
So I have no control over that.
So I just kind of went with it.

(27:51):
I didn't care that people willcall me weird, like it used to
bother me.
And then I was just like I amkind of weird, like I just kind
of acknowledge myself of shit,where it's like if somebody
would say something that's nottrue, then I'm like that's not
true and like didn't even haveto acknowledge it.
It's like just keep thosepeople out of what I would

(28:12):
consider my circle.
You know what I mean.
So it's you kind of see what'swhat like negative out there and
you keep the negative away andwhatever gravitates to who you
are, then you gravitate back.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
So you really stood firmly in your truth, really,
and let everything align on itsown.
Yeah, you have no.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I guess you do have a choice, but you don't have a
choice because you're going tobe who you are no matter what,
and if you're not, then you'renot being who you are.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
I know you take a perch, maybe somebody else.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Oh no, I definitely was.
I heard so many stories waslike I was blacked out dog.
I don't remember.
Oh damn Sorry, we shouldn'thave gone.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
Don't do drugs.

Speaker 4 (28:57):
Please don't do drugs .
I think a lot of times peoplehave the issue isn't losing the
edge.
I think the issue is that theyallowed something for so long to
find a major part of theirpersonality that when they
figure out that it's notconducive to them or that it's a

(29:18):
trauma response, it's hard forthem to accept that because it's
been such a big part of whothey are for so long.
So I think it's more part, sothe fact of letting go of what
could possibly be the thing thatthey claim give them edge,
because it's actually hurtingthem internally, mentally to

(29:40):
grow.
I think it's more so.
Part of you know, anytimechange is involved, change is a
difficult process and the moreyou resist it, the harder it
becomes to change.
So it gets to a point to wherepeople for so long just get
content and comfortable in thespace that they're in.
They're willing to just put upwith whatever the consequences

(30:03):
is of what's going to happen,because they're comfortable with
their current version of theirself.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:08):
Because what, what changing comes?
Working with the work comes onbeing uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
And as you were saying that, I was thinking that
too.
Where it's like um the comfortpart, people aren't willing to
step outside yes and likesometimes there's things that
draw you as like try it, youfucking try it.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Live, like that's the biggest thing is to live that's
why, like I said the other day,I said your past doesn't have
to define your future.
Yes, your past got you to thispoint and it gave you this
amount of edge and it gave youthis amount of grit.
But who's to say that, if youlet this go, you don't develop
an even tougher shell, a tougherbody like a tougher mind?

(30:51):
Who's to say that changing fromyour current state is going to
make you weaker?
You won't know until you stepout there yeah oh yeah.
So I mean, and like again, likethe old saying, that you have to
learn to be uncomfortable anduncomfortable yeah, yeah, if you
hold on to the past as ananchor yeah that's the only
thing it could ever be yeah, sohow does healing that inner

(31:15):
child clarify your path, for youand your purpose?

Speaker 2 (31:20):
How does it bring clarity to that?

Speaker 4 (31:38):
didn't see before and you start to really take
inventory of your life and yourcircles and even family dynamics
right, and I can say for mewhat I started to do was I
started to remove anything thatdidn't align with what I set out
for my goals or how I seemyself.
So when you do things like that, you know some some people are

(31:59):
going to be in your corner forit.
Some people are going to sayyou change.
Some people are going to sayyou know, oh, you switched up.
Or you think you think youbetter.
No, it's not that.
But a lot of times when you dothat and you start to grow the
people who are not supposed tobe there for the next part of
your life, they're gonna falloff, no matter by themselves.
You don't have to necessarilyweed out people.
The universe, in in excellentfaction fashion, will remove the

(32:26):
people and the things from yourlife that you don't need there
anyway, the phrase is theuniverse will get out of your
way.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, yes, like it's crazy, that's dope.
I like you said that.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
I definitely like that.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
I look at it like I didn't or not I did, but for my
path and all that stuff and allthat, I feel like that's that
comes as living, like you said,but like the inner child part
for me is like I look at kids astheir love.
Right, they lead with love.

(33:00):
I try to lead with love.

Speaker 4 (33:02):
She is so it's like you ever took a right hook at
three in the morning.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
That wasn't love yeah , it's usually from love of
something you told them theycan't have.
Well, I can't have that, oh,she got me.
Good, but like it's like thattype of stuff.
It goes with how you said, likehow people, there'll be people

(33:27):
in your life, that'll be acertain way, but when you move
with love or lead with love orhave love as your guiding point,
all of that doesn't matter.
Like you'll see the negativity,but you won't see the
negativity.
You're like okay, cool, that'swhere you at, that's how you
feel, that's your life and, asyou said, it will naturally run
its course the way it's supposedto.

(33:48):
So it's like, if you live likethat, I feel like that's your
inner child being the guidingforce to everything, because
after that things open up.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Love, kind of lower your shields and actually allow
people to come in.
I think that is the toughestpart of the journey to be more
receptive to people and a lot oftimes it's not even people that
are I wouldn't even say it'sthe strangers.
Sometimes you have to openyourself and be more receptive
to people who have shown youthat they'll be around, because

(34:37):
you're just so used to peoplewalking out you're, you don't
have the, you don't have thecapacity or the willingness to
try to let anybody else inbecause of how things turned out
and and the younger version ofyourself.
So I think that to that point,I feel like it does get to a
situation where you have to, youhave to really step outside

(35:05):
yourself on that part to havethe healing part part, because
the the harsh reality about alot of things is you really do
have to to some degree, bevulnerable in some situations to
heal.
You have to actually you know,you know step out on hope or

(35:26):
faith or whatever you want tocall it, and give and and give
the opportunity.
I'm not saying give the personthe opportunity, but give, give,
just give life the chance toshow you something different.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
That's problems with the person, though I've noticed
a lot of people aren't willingto give grace.
Yes, they're not willing to letpeople have a chance at
something.
Certain things you cross andyou're like you don't get a
second chance.
It is what it is.
I get that.
But there's some things whereyou're like you don't get a
second chance.
It is what it is.
I get that.
But there's some things whereyou're like I've talked to
people I'm like damn dog, thatseems a little like you could

(35:59):
get past this, but I get it.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
But that comes with like being able to shed and be
vulnerable and being like allright, I can see your
perspective, but I'm not sayingbeing vulnerable whatever, no,
no, no, I'm saying beingvulnerable with those who have
proven to be in your corner orat least have shown up regularly
, because sometimes, when you'revulnerable, that's when you're
determined oh, they're justtrying to wait their turn to get

(36:27):
in.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
To get in yeah.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
And so now?
But when you figure that out,you quickly close the door.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
Maybe fix it.
Yeah, what role does?

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Joy, you didn't answer the question.
She did that, like three ofthem.
I watched.
I watched she trying to stutter.
She trying to stutter this shitListen.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Okay, Y'all don't make Stutter.
Answer the damn question.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
He answers all the questions Shout out to my boy I
mean there's plenty of clipswhere it's like nah nigga nah,
nigga, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
thank you, thank you very much, um, I kind of agree
with what you were saying aboutabout like love, and in
correlation with what you'resaying about letting people in,
because I noticed that as Istarted to heal my inner child,
I did, I started to lovedifferently and I could receive
it differently, and I had moreof an emotional intelligence to
be able to love people in theirown love language differently as

(37:20):
well.
So I think that was part ofclearing my path.
Being able to love different,receive it and not take love
from foreign ass places tooactually helped too, because I I
think as a child, I was seekinglove, um, and validation that's
a big one from so manydifferent spaces because I

(37:41):
wasn't getting it from myparents yeah um, not that my mom
didn't love me, because let mejust say that because she gonna
see this episode be like bitch.
I loved you.
What the fuck is going on?
So she loved us, but my dad andhe loved you in his own way,
still question that.
I don't know you.
I got some stories still niggapissed me off two days ago.

(38:03):
I still question if that, ifthat, was love or if this is.
I don't know that.
My dad said himself lord dad, Iam so sorry.
I don't know that my dadintended on creating children
that he would love.
I don't know that he loves usfrom a genuine space.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
I don't feel loved by him from a genuine space.
Yeah, I ain't seen Fences.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
He loved them, though he was talking that shit.
I have that movie.
Just he loved that nigga.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
He loved them, though he was talking that shit I have
, I'm just saying, like that'swhat I'm feeling that movie,
just, but that nigga was like.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
He loved that nigga, but you're like it's a different
way.
Yeah, he just didn't know howto, he didn't know how to
express it.
I just I think, and that'sprobably it, yeah, like a lot of
niggas didn't know like me andmy dad used, and then I got
older and I was like he wouldsay stuff, and then I'm just
like that's cool, that's youbasically saying you love me.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
And then again, this is something where you have to
understand the generation anddynamic and how he was raised
and how he was shown love.
You know, I think it's arelatively new thing for fathers
to tell their children theylove and where they're from.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Yeah, he tells us he loves us.
It's the actions, if you have anigga like hold on, cuz I don't
know if you really I don't knowwhat you say you owe.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
But you have to also go back to what Kevin said about
giving grace.
I give my parents a lot ofgrace because I understand like
I don't know all the ins andouts of your upbringing, but the
little, especially for my mom,the little inserts that I do
know.
I understand how she got towhere she got.

(39:45):
I understand how her mindsetwas at and I can give her grace
because of the challenges shefaced.
And even when I hear my fathertalk and complain and all this
stuff, it's like In my mind Ihave no doubt that he loved me.
He just didn't.
He didn't necessarily love thesituation around my childhood

(40:11):
and I and me personally I feltlike he wasn't strong enough to
fight in a situation to to toeither be with me or be around
me because he knew that I was ina safe place.
So I felt like this is just me.
I don't know if this is true onhis part or not.
I felt like in his mindset itwas my son's going to be fine,

(40:35):
he's going to be well taken careof.
I'll try to cultivate thatrelationship with him once he's
of age.
That's how I feel my fatherlooked at it because I can say
once I got older and now, evento current day, he does do.
He does do.
He does provide a greatereffort of trying to be around it
in my life than he did before.
So I think like he probably feltlike the odds were against him

(40:58):
and this was probably the bestway he could go about it, and I
acknowledge that.
But then, at the same time, Iasked him, like I said earlier,
I asked him to acknowledge thefact that what you did is still
what you did, and my view onfatherhood doesn't line up with
your view on fatherhood whenyou're my age, because there's
no way that I would ever justwalk away from my child and not

(41:19):
fight this here every day.
So that's where we disagree Now.
I can appreciate where you arenow and I can forgive you for
what you did, but what you didis still going to impact my
behavior and how I move.
And that's not saying that Idon't love you, I don't care
about you.
It's just that these are.
These are the walls that I'veplaced to protect myself, and so

(41:41):
I have to protect these walls,regardless of how you feel.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
And, like you said, grace is big in that because
it's like, as said, grace is bigin that because it's like, as
you're talking, I was thinkingit's like sometimes you're like
nigga, if I raised you, youwould have came out fucked up
because you gotta get in there.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
I am still working on the grace with my dad, but I do
have grace for a lot of gracefor my mom, but I also lived
with my mom, so I and I know mymom's people, so I have a better
understanding of what she'sgone through and what some of
her challenges were than I do mydad.
So maybe that's the issue youknow what I'm saying I'm gonna
ask this nigga shit, though youknow what I'm saying it doesn't,
it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
Even if in the, in a, in a, in a perfect world, let's
say, your mom and dad stayedtogether, right, you still gonna
know more of your mom's peoplethan your dad's people because
it's like, it's like.
It's like like our friends, she, she has nothing but boys and
she goes.
I understand that one day somelittle heifer gonna come take my
son and I ain't gonna never seehim again because he gonna

(42:41):
spend all the were at herparents house.
Her, her, her parents gonna bethe primary grandparents,
because it's just that's justwhat it is, that tends to be
what it is.
You kind of lean towards thewife side, because a lot of
times that's just that's notwhat it is not only

Speaker 1 (42:57):
oh yeah, no, I mean y'all different.
I was like I feel like you.
You have not seen the ellishousehold on the holiday.
We like, like I'll be, buty'all be in here mixed up
there's like niggas and whites.
Oh good, like whites, whites,oh could be an NCAA.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
Where's Caitlyn?

Speaker 1 (43:22):
is Caitlyn Clark.
Here is Caitlyn Clark here.
Y'all ignorant, then amotherfucker.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Well, I swear to.

Speaker 4 (43:25):
God, this is like this is a conference.
Clark here, y'all ignorant.
They ain't a motherfucker.
Well, I swear to God.
This is a conference.
This is a Y'all ignorant.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Are y'all ready?
Go ahead.
What's the role of play?
Joy and spontaneity in yourhealing process.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
I think that plays everything, because when you
find the things that give youjoy in life, those are the
things that you can always goback to when you're fighting the
bad parts of life.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, I can get with that.
I can get with that Like thebalconies.
Ah, my nigga, my nigga.
I think I find that I want todo childlike things as joy when
I'm healing my inner child.
So, for example, I love to flykites.
Oh, really, it's kind of mything.

(44:16):
Springs are here.
I have three kites in my car.
Oh no, I love to fly kites, Idon't believe that's true.
I have kites in my car and meand hayden, if the wind right,
we put a pullover, fly the kite,because that was something I I
didn't do with my parents when Iwas little but I really wanted
to do it.
That's some shit too yeah, yeah, yeah, I guarantee, I guarantee

(44:41):
I'm born.
I should have been at woodstock.
I'm'm born in the wronggeneration.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
It wasn't as cool as you think.
You was there, stinky.
No, I wasn't there.
I just watched the documentary.
That's doo-doo, that's not mud.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Oh my God.
Now I'm intrigued and I'm goingto watch the documentary.
I think I find myself wanting todo those childlike things I
didn't do often as a kid, likego to the park, like I literally
took Hayden to the park oneChristmas in the damn rain
because that's what he wanted todo.
So he was in the park swingingin the rain.

(45:19):
I think that also is where mydesire to have children is
strong, because I want to givethose children that childhood
that I don't feel like I got andalso, at the same time, I want
to play with their toys.
So don't you want this?

Speaker 1 (45:37):
bop it oh, I can't, I can't, I don't want no bop.
It's no more.
It's over.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
I can't even foster for that, because I bought a
whole hot wheel track.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
I'm trying to tell you and that's my kid.
No, you should have just boughtit for yourself and then you're
gonna try to disguise it Iwould have came with my this

Speaker 4 (45:55):
is for me you could have.
It was great.
Yeah, I've done that I thinkI've got a great time myself.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
And then they were like is that for us?

Speaker 2 (46:01):
like no, you can play with it, but it's, it's mine,
it's mine yeah, I literally havea BBA bop it with a 3CPO's
voice, and I had to hide it fromHayden because he kept trying
to take my bop.
It that's funny, but I yeah mydaughter does.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
She just found the bop it.
That's her new thing she wasplaying them easy.
My high score is 107.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
I said you playing them easy.
That's good to know.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
We can still get those yeah, you can get a bop it
.
You can, and they come and theythey have one that you can play
with somebody.
That's called a bop it passyeah, that's what we got.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
It go pass it's so fun.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
I love it.
Yeah, I literally be one toplay with the toys.
That's why I will babysit yourkids, just so I can.
I'm doing with Legos.
I don't like Legos in my 3,000pieces.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
I'm good.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
I'm down, I'm with it , I love it.
Bubbles give me a bubblemachine.
I be wanting to ask for damntoys for my birthday.

Speaker 4 (46:55):
I love it.
I got four gallons of bubblesat my house.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
I'll come blow some bubbles.
Don't play, I'm so over bubbles.
I don't have children.
No one in my house is doingthis.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
All you got to do is have one spill and then you go,
and Hayden is it?

Speaker 4 (47:11):
I'm letting you know right now when you do.
I got the bubbles for you.
Okay, because you can have allthese goddamn bubbles.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Hold on to them.

Speaker 4 (47:16):
And the 27 bubble machines.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
We got Hold on to them.
I need one.
I don't have children.
Hayden isn't an outside kid.
He's very technical.
He would love to be hereproducing shit, because he's
that type of kid he don't wantto do no outside stuff.
I want to go outside, but I canget him to play.

Speaker 4 (47:33):
I want to be outside too.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
On the balcony.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
Sundress season's almost here.
Oh God, oh, my God, sundress,no drawers.
You know it's fun everywhere Toaddress that question.
My God, sundress, no drawers.
You know, it's fun everywhere.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
To address that question.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
I think the dress, the sundress.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Address the question.
Oh, okay, address the question.
Nasty, I think I'm doing that.
I'm learning that more with thekids because I've gotten to a
point where I think I get tooprotective, to a point where I
think I get too protective andI'm stealing away their fun
sometimes, where I gotta justlet them do stuff.

(48:12):
You're gonna fall.
You gotta let them do that.

Speaker 4 (48:16):
See, we had this conversation.
Stop triggering me today, Kevin.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Did I, have I been triggering you?
We literally had thisconversation because my wife was
talking about how the maturitylevel of.

Speaker 4 (48:26):
We literally had a conversation I know nobody
because my apologies we weretalking.
My wife was talking about howthe maturity level of our child
and I said well, babe, you haveto understand.
Like at seven we were like wehad like chores and doing shit,
we were responsible, like we hadto.
We were getting calls like makesure you just fuck home, type
shit.
She's literally being allowedto just be a child.
The only thing she think aboutis the next thing she about to

(48:48):
play with or what next thing isgonna give her joy.
So her level of maturity is notthere because she hasn't been
forced to mature the way we have.
I said, so you got to give hergrace now.
Granted, I understand it'sfrustrating because this girl
run up a water bill and a lightbill quick, how?
Because she'll cut the showeron then start playing ain't you

(49:09):
supposed to be showering?

Speaker 1 (49:10):
that ain't gonna.
Yeah, that don't change, ain'tyou?
She just left and I'll be likeis she taking a?
Is that a bath shower?

Speaker 4 (49:21):
I said this is gonna be something.
I said this is gonna besomething my whole life.
I said because, you know, asthey get older, you know women,
women, they take them 30-minuteshowers.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Yeah, she's a girl, I just told you a bath shower.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
You fill it up.
Then you take the drain, turnthe shower on.
You lay in the shower andyou're like, are you Wait, what,
what?

Speaker 2 (49:41):
Are you just using more water?
She fills up the tub.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
She filled the tub up and then you open the drain and
let it start to drain out, butyou leave the shower on nah,
hell nah so, nah, yeah, youthought you thought it, you
thought it ended, nah, but thenI go, you know what that's dope,
that's dope like no, it's notit sucks, but I'm like that's

(50:04):
dope and like I wanna ruinwhoever comes along.
Whatever dude comes along, it'stoast, it's toast.
Well, my daughter got expensivetaste.
Yeah, homie, can you afford$300 a month in water?

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Yeah, and that's before you water the grass,
that's just water.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
My G Before you water the grass, did everybody answer
you?

Speaker 4 (50:27):
said 300.
Can you afford 300 a week infood?

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Yeah, she keeps saying your baby eats a lot, and
I just can't.
She's so little.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
She's active.
And she don't want to eat athome, she want to go out, she
want to go to the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Every time I eat pho, I think of her.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
That's her favorite thing, she was in there.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
She too cute, she go to to fuck.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
She drink the broth more than she eat the noodles.
I said, child, we could havegot you some broth, right, yeah,
but the broth is cheap.
I could call and say, hey, canI just get a bowl of broth?
Yeah, probably try.
It's only two, three dollars wegot all that extra shit.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Not all of it's good, though.

Speaker 4 (51:05):
Eat the whole thing, especially especially when you
got like a sore throat orsomething sure yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
I just I'll say I have a sore throat yeah, just so
I don't get.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
So, yeah, that's the eating me too.
That and ramen.
I'm upset I can't.

Speaker 4 (51:19):
I can't eat ramen.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
I told you I got a spot.
It's $24 but still send theinformation.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
Kevin, I paid $19 for filet mignon yesterday.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
For the baby.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
No for me.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
I wish I had filet.
This is like chicken but everytime.
I swipe I'm just like no, thatshit was fire too.

Speaker 4 (51:40):
Because I never had this.
It was filet mignon strips.
But they cooked the filetmignon in the wok and then they
put it in the ramen.
I said this shit is fire.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
So it was flavor, it was flavor.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
And then it had the grilled onions in there too.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
Yeah, I said okay, I'm hungry, now let's wrap this
shit up so I can go.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
It's going to open up too.
That's nigga rum, nigga scum itstill sounds like oh nigga, you
like, fire that main name, ohshit oh man, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
How do you navigate guilt or shame when old wounds
resurface in a relationship orat work?

Speaker 4 (52:32):
I see it as growth.
It's something that shame andguilt is something I feel like
you got to work through and Ithink when you feel shame or
guilt, that's just youacknowledging the fact that you
fucked up.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, I was going to say that's okay to feel too.
Yeah, fucked up.
Yeah, I just said that's okayto feel too.
Yeah, because some people feellike you're not supposed to like
I hate the phrase like I don'thave any regrets and I'm like
that's kind of unhuman, likeyeah like that's the lack of
accountability, bro I justthought about no regerts yeah

(53:06):
that commercial is dumb as shit.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
Oh shit.
So you ain't got none.
No regrets I think I just foundone.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
My bad, my bad, no, but that's, I think, yeah, yeah,
it's just, I don't think my oldwounds resurface at work.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Actually, I love the shit on my job.
I think my old that's good.
That's a bomb ass job.
I'm in there doing whatever thefuck they tell me to do, I
think.
But I do see where theyresurface in relationships and I
think previously I wasn't thatshit run rapid.
I ain't even feel like to you,this shit was just running rapid
.
It was shit run rapid.

(53:46):
I ain't even feel like to you,this shit was just running
rampant.
It was.
I was fucking people up becauseI was fucked up.
I ain't fucking like to you.
But in recent, especially inthis relationship, um that I'm
phasing out of, um, I think Ithink I actually started to take
accountability and recognizewhere where my wounds were also

(54:09):
as fucked up as some of thestuff that I was complaining
about that was coming from himProjecting.
Yeah, it's like that, like whenthey ask you, can you see the
details of your hand, but whenthey're this close, you can't
see it.
I couldn't see what I was doingbecause I was busy telling him
what the fuck he was doing.
Nigga, you did 10 things today,but I did 15.
And I didn't see what I wasdoing because I was busy telling
him what the fuck he was doing.
Nigga, you did 10 things today,but I did 15 and I and I didn't

(54:31):
see it yet, so so you weren'tholding that mirror up.
I wasn't holding that mirror up.
I she was holding.
I knew that I was holding itbut the motherfucker was looking
that way.
I wasn't um, I wasn't, I, Ijust wasn't, I just wasn't
fucking taking accountability.
Straight like that, straightlike that.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
That's the growth I'm proud of you Now.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
It did not save my marriage, however.
However, you still got time.
You know what I am, so at peacewith what's happening.
Okay, I'm going to say youstill got time.
Thank you, I'm at peace withthat.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
I'm in love with love .

Speaker 2 (55:06):
You know what, and I am too, and I feel like the way
that we are able to coexist,knowing that this is coming to
an end, has been more peacefulthan us coexisting in a
relationship.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
This almost is like relief for us both.
So I think we probably finna besome bomb ass friends.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
I'm not even gonna lie to you, because I don't have
nothing.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Friends, right yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no
, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
I told y'all niggas, I'm still healing.
I say it every episode Anigga's still healing.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
She don't listen.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
I'm going to listen.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
I didn't say I was fucking him, I just said, hey,
if I needed to, I know who tocall.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Listen Like you said that money.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
Hey, hey.
I'm just listening, just got tostay all I'm going to say is to
love intentionally.
You have to have no otheroptions well then, hey, that's
how.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
That's probably why we need to go ahead and just do
what we're going to do puttinghay in the barn, huh that's some
old shit.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
I thought I was an old nigga think I went back to
sharecropping oh god, I'm notfinna sometimes you gotta put
the hair in the bar just lockthat motherfucker okay, last

(56:43):
last jam question, cause whatI'm not finna do is this for
another 15 minutes with y'alltwo niggas.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Hey, you're the fucking barn.
Shit shut up for someone who'slistening, who feels stuck in
their past, pain.
What is the first step that youcan that they can take today?
You have to acknowledge thatyou're in pain first.

Speaker 4 (57:04):
Yes, accountability, accountability, accountability,
that's my take today you have toacknowledge that you're in pain
.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Yes, Accountability, accountability, accountability.
I, that's my.
What am I take on that?

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Dealing with past pain.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
Yeah, because sometimes you're in pain, you
don't realize you're in pain.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, find what the forgiveness is.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
I like that Find what you need to forgive.
I like that you're not gonnaforget.

Speaker 4 (57:35):
No, find what you need to forgive if it's self,
others or whatever.
Well, what enough perks, youcan't forget I know, I think I'm
still over that shit.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
I'm gonna about it, trust me so you seen?

Speaker 1 (57:50):
what's that movie?
The, the movie with for thekids what.
Joy, all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
Inside Out, yeah.
I got some core memories thisnigga eggnated just talk about
this dissolved with those pillsthat's funny.
When I watched that movie Isaid I said, damn, if I can get
inside my mind like that, I canfix a lot of shit that's a good
ass movie.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
We would fuck ourselves up and be like only
the good things get you high,nigga.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
I tell Inger look here, man, you been around her
too long and that's actually agood question.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
So for the listeners, when you guys watch this
episode, put in the commentswhat you think the first step to
healing your inner child is, sowe can see what your thoughts
are a balcony not the balcony,none of you let it go don't put
the balcony.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
That's what I'm gonna to do.
I'm going to let it go.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
I'm going to let it go.
The balcony no, never mind, ew,never mind.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Oh my God, this has been another episode of the
Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Once again I am.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
Des the Diva Like, subscribe and share.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
That's disgusting.
You made me think of JD Vancesave me.
Oh, listen, peace we out hesaid my couch pulled off, I'm
sweating.
That's a wrap, y'all.
That's how she wrote, so makesure to click like subscribe.

(59:27):
Tune in.
We're on the Austrian platform,so until next time we'll
highlight you.