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This week, we’re talking about what it means to grow—and what you sometimes have to let go of in the process. From family tension to shifting friendships, we open up about clearing space for peace and growth.

We also get into the conversations Black men don’t have enough—about emotional boundaries, friendship breakups, and how to stop suffering in silence.

Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Podcast.
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Ready?
My bad?
No, we, I mean we rolling.
Fuck it.
We in here.
I'm good like this.
Do I look goofy?
So what?

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Do you look goofy, nigga?
You're wearing an Eagle hat.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Stop man.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
Dodger blue nigga.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hey let's go.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
What?
What's good?
This is episode 215 of theheavyweight podcast I'm your
anti-social host, stutter mcfly,back again with these two guys.
Go ahead, stick your name forthe beautiful people out, chill
she's boring, positively lookingfor cocaine because I need
energy I, I could get you somecocaine.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Hell of a drug, yeah get you some this nigga wouldn't
know where they at.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
I guess I'll be Uncle Slime today.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Uncle Slime huh, and y'all already know who it is
it's your girl, des, themotherfucking diva.
Shout out Des, shout out Deshow were your weeks?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Des-less what'd you say?
What'd?
He say Des-less he just ain'tshit he keep taking shots, yeah
you gonna have a.
She got a bazooka coming foryou ah it was cool, man, just
work.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
I was out there by myself, somebody was on vacation
, so they kept asking me abouthim and I said look, if you
can't call him, that means youdon't need to know.
So stop asking me shit.
You don't need to know.
I can only speak for me.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
They're talking about me.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
But I'm pretty sure he would say fuck this place too
.
Yeah, I think he's talkingabout you, you mean these niggas
.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Don't talk to me these niggas ain't your friends
that's why every time I see Isay this nigga does different
videos of the same song, andeach time I share that shit
because I can relate.
Do they talk about you?

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I gotta find something like that Because I
can relate Do they talk aboutyou?
I gotta find something likethat.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
You only come around when you win.
My week was good.
My week was good, was it?
Yeah, it was good Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
That's all I got.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Did you rock?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
one leg sleeve up.
No, I didn't go with the legsleeve this week.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
When you were alone in your room did you stare at
the wall?

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I went with the bandaid though.
Yeah yeah, I took it toNellyville.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
How's it, uh, how's life without your radio?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I can't live without it, do you?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
rock the bells.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, you know, I get text messages from LL Cool J,
do you?
Yeah, I signed up for somethingon accident.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Is that where he's at now?

Speaker 1 (03:07):
I keep getting these 917 messages and I'm like, oh,
that's LL, are you?

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Can you confirm he licks the lips as he sends a
text message?
I don't know if I should ask.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Are you guys still stalking O'Girl From the?

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Hey Lover video.
Oh, I was like wait what?

Speaker 2 (03:27):
That's a touchy subject around here, hey love.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
He was stalking us.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, it was a stalker song.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Wasn't Nas stalking somebody too when he was sitting
in his car?
Snuck down low with a window up.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
I don't pay attention to Nas.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I was like that's no creepy Nas.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
This nigga watched you at the bus stop.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
I'm on the first place.
He's hard though what's that?

Speaker 1 (03:49):
oh, I thought y'all was talking about this is more
than a crush.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's called stalking.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's a charge, brother when she was on CSI.
In CSI, yeah, how about you?

Speaker 3 (04:07):
he was the first black man to survive a horror
movie was that a horror movie?

Speaker 2 (04:13):
the shark, yeah.
Is it?

Speaker 1 (04:15):
cause his head's like a shark's fin his head's like a
shark fin his head is like ashark's fin nah deepest bluest
nah his head's a shark fin.
You remember when he had thatside, my head is like a shark's
fin.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Nah, Deepest bluest Nah.
Nah, his head is more like thatof a manatee.
What he was doing, this shitHead is like a shark's fin.
He's more like a manatee, ohshit.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
How was your week?
It was chill.
I didn't have to be at work.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah man, stop flexing, on niggas, hey man flex
, fuck it.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Well, the funny thing , I was going to cancel my
vacation.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
They wouldn't let me Five weeks out.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, you have to be five weeks ahead All of a sudden
To cancel.
So I was like, fuck it, I'lljust take it.
That's kind of.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Pause.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah, that's five To cancel it.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
That's yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
We're the only job where now they don't want niggas
to work.
Apparently they paid us toomuch money and now they want us
out of work.
So they're trying to run thefucking company into the ground.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
They don't want us to work Until the packages sales.
Winter hits, oh no.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
It ain't winter, nigga.
It starts in October.
People don't understand itstarts in October.
People start buying andordering shit for Black Friday
in October now.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
My sister told me they go from sixes to sevens in
their 12 hours and I was likeGod damn, seven, twelves.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Something like that.
That's illegal.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Or it might be 612s 612s that's okay, she's doing
612s that's risky because ifthey don't yeah yeah, hey it's
risky, risky business it'samazon.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
They know what they do it's gonna fuck around me a
lot of call offs oh yeah, that'stoo much overtime.
I'm like I'll take it they justlike ask me how much I work.
Uh, I now work 44 hours or lessa week they don't like that
shit that's how you do it.
Don't worry about it.

(06:18):
They don't like that shit whythey were so drunk.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
They drop a dime on that, nigga huh why they work a
lot they work that.
They're on that nigga huh.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Why they work a lot.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
They're niggas that are killing themselves for 60
hours a week and you be like I'mgood, it ain't worth it yeah.
And a lot of them don't knowthat working to the max don't
mean you make that much more.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Don't you get taxed more?
You get taxed.
You gross more than I do, but Ibring home more than you do.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Damn play yourself.
Did I tell you about the oneguy that was nosy about why I
was leaving home early one dayand then, like he went out of
his way to be super nice to meand I just stared at him yeah.
Yeah, he was just like oh man,what's up man?
I just looked at him I he waslike oh man, what's up man?
I'm not saying his name.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Can I say it?

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Go ahead.
I don't want to say it.
I don't want to say it.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
I'm not going to give him the.
You sell it, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Ha ha, I get it.
Well, played, Play on his name,but anywho, I guess we'll get
into the shenanigans.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
You're going to make a shenanigans One time.
You're going shenanigan, I knewit was coming, Paul Whoa.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Whoa so with realizations in life.
We've touched on this before,but I think you got to reiterate
things sometimes.
Sometimes you just outgrowsituations, people, scenarios,
et cetera.
So this is what that ismotivated by.
What does it mean for you toclear your circle as you get

(07:53):
older?

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Peace of mind and I think a lot of times people are
confused clearing your circlewith not letting anyone in.
I do think that there comesthese rare occasions where life
brings you together with someonewho actually has value to you
and you bring them into yourcircle, because I feel like I've

(08:18):
met people at different stagesof my life that have been solid.
And if I had I mean, god knows,if I had the same friend group
at 25 I did today, I probablywouldn't be wearing bidet.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
So yeah, it do be facts.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Kevin, I think it more.
For me, it'll be putting me atthe center of things first, not
necessarily.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
That's fucked up, nigga.
Can't nobody see over you, youtall nigga?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
I don't think it's like trimming nothing, it's just
more focusing on myself and theoutcome.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
And just let the cards fall where they may.
What you mean, like you, focuson yourself and let the rest of
the cards fall.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
No, no, no, but I usually put more of my
self-focus on others than myselffirst.
Oh okay, so put myself a littlemore first.
So I think, like I don't thinkthat changed my circle, it just
changed a little bit of how I dothings, I guess.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
If that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
All right, I look at it like a clearing of a cachet,
yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
Like a web browser.
Yeah, sometimes you gotta do itLike sometimes you just gotta
do it, man.
I mean, and it's really notthat hard, honestly, when you
think about it, when you juststop reaching out to people.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, I think it's more like that too.
It's like certain things youcall on people and you're like
I'm just talking, thismotherfucker.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
The realization I noticed is, like, with doing
stuff like the gym, you realizevery quickly the frame of mind
and then you'll be like, damnlike, because somebody will tell
you, oh man, I'm trying to, I'mserious about this shit too,
and you're like, we're cool,like, and the situation will

(10:09):
come up to where you get theopportunity to see how serious
they are and then, you startrealizing in those moments this
nigga approaches everything inlife like that, and then you
start getting a biggerrealization.
It's like we're really different, like, like, like.
Then it just compounds andcompounds before you realize it.
It kind of does its own thingby itself because they realize

(10:31):
it.
On the other end, this nigga'sway different than me, he's
serious and I'm not.
And then they start you becomea reflection of what they're not
.
So they don't want to come talkto you.
They don't want to hang outwith you because they realize
you doing something and they'repretending to.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Don't want to hang out with you because they
realize you doing something andthey're pretending to.
So that's funny.
So this is uh, this is a younglady that uh, we always talk to
in the gym and uh, her and mywife talk and like I call them
tether boxes, so when they, whenI'm there with my wife, she
will purposely not talk to mywife I'm not around when I'm
when I'm around, because sheknow I'm gonna say, hey, cut
that shit out.
We got places to go, like wehad to get to work.

(11:05):
So she literally told me theother day he's like, uh, I was
walking out, she's like that'swhy I talked to your wife today
for 15 minutes because youweren't around.
And I said, well, this is whyyour lips are trash because
you're talking and I've beennetworking wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
So is she like challenging you?

Speaker 3 (11:22):
no, no, I told her to try.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, I'm talking about when she told you I talked to
her no no, she was being.
Oh, okay, I was gonna say hey,hey hey, back up no, she, no,
she.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Good people.
He found the opportunity to bemean yeah yeah, I did.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Your lips ain't shit no, she good people, it's just.
It's just that it's like itmade me think about that,
because it's like I do feel likethe gym is the one place where,
like, when you go to the gym,you get it Like the gym people
because like, obviously shetalked, but she bought that life
, she mini swole.

(11:56):
You know what I'm saying.
So it's like the gym is thatone place where I feel like you.
I think it's a lot.
It's weird because when youlock in at the gym it's a lot
easier to find with peoplethat's locked in and then you
start building these unconscious.
I don't want to call themfriendships, but you know.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
More of a.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Like situations type.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Bonding, yeah, yeah, more bond, yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Because now you guys start talking about different
workouts and shit like that yeahyou got a commonality, yeah and
then.
But I've also seen to wherethat shit starts to extend
outside the yeah, that canhappen, good people.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, I hate to bring that, but that made me think
about when we went to this game.
It was weird to watch thesekids walk into the football game
and that you know how you gotto get for football like lock in
, like those motherfuckers werelike locked in and then like it
was lined up with the families,so there'll be like little kids
and shit, so there'll be likethis, and then they'll see a
little kid like, oh hey, whatthe fuck, just happened.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Turn it off real quick.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
Okay, we can't.
We can't show a mean face tothe kids.
My bad, my bad yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Who have you had to distance from your life to keep
your peace?

Speaker 3 (13:08):
How long, how long how much time we got.
About an hour Shit, I can takethe whole hour.
You want names and?

Speaker 2 (13:18):
birthdates.
I have to bring the birthdays,you know.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Just a quick name, no , I mean there's been a lot of
people, mostly family, some Iguess I won't even call them
friends some associates earlieron in life.
You know, when you meet thesepeople, you just understand that
we're on two different paths.
And I'm not with the fuckery,I'm not going to do some shit.

(13:41):
Again I say I'm not doinganything to put myself or my
family in question, I'm notgoing to do some shit, I'm not.
Again I say, uh, I'm not doinganything to put myself or my
family in question, I'm not, I'mnot going to jail by no shit,
no bullshit.
Um, I will do the crime.
If it's need to be done.
Like, I will like.
Like, uh, last week, if thenigga, the fight broke out, the
fight would have broke out, oh,yeah, I was kind of.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
I'm in that mode right now.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Like I'm going to defend myself and I'm going to
help my friends if need be, butI'm not going to do anything.
I'm not robbing no bank or nostupid shit like that.
So there's a lot of people, man, especially a lot of family,
because the family thing, justbecause you're family, they can

(14:21):
talk to you and you just want totolerate shit.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
So I'll cuss the family out quick?
I don't have that answer.
I'm learning and as we speak,I'm learning all that.
I'm learning a lot more just bycommunicating, with just
professionalism, professionalhelp.
So it's like I'm learning someshit.
I gotta do so.
It's a cool realization of someshit, though the weird thing I

(14:45):
think it's a cool realization ofsome shit though.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
The weird thing, kevin, I think because you're a
person like you have to be verymindful, because your
personality is so oh, I'm toldI'm in trouble.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, Like she tells me that all the time she's like
oh, the way you are, like you'rekind of fucked, but like you
can work through this, I'm likewell, thanks, I guess.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
I think it's because it's because I feel like my
wife's the same way.
She's such a friendly personand she's so quick to give
everyone the benefit of thedoubt.
She's the easy target, whereasme I'm like you didn't get the
fuck out my face.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
I don't know, I don't know you, you know, but it's
like to me, it's like you meet alot of people with ill
intentions it sucks, because I'mlike said, I'm learning that
more because there'll be thingswhere somebody will reach out
and I'm like I don't even fuckwith this person.
But this seems like a scenariowhere it's like, alright, yeah,

(15:35):
if I can help you, I'll help you.
But it's like then, shit, nowI'm like you're just taking
advantage of my kindness.
And that's why I like that guiltshit I feel like guilt for it
and then like it's like youshouldn't feel guilt for this
shit.
These are grown-ups like the,the.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
I think my harsh reality is I learned at 16 that
I trust people, not 16, 14.
As a 14 year old kid I was, Iwas.
I was being blamed for shit outof my control where I had
nothing to do to do with it,just because I was the easiest
scapegoat, or what it would itturned out to be.
They just didn't like me tostart with.
So I was.
You know anything that couldpin on me, type shit.
And then that and that wasfamily.

(16:16):
So then that I internalizedthat and applied that thinking
toward everybody.
Like nigga, what's yourreasoning?
Like my family, you know whatI'm saying.
Like if I can't trust family, Idamn sure I can't trust you.
So it was like it made it.
It made me.
It made it a lot easier for meto distance myself and not
communicate with people and I'veI've gotten flack with uh for
that, because no people say, oh,you're, you're mean, which I?

(16:39):
I can't be uh, but it's, it'sdefensive.
Yeah, it's like.
No, it's like I'm not, I don'tstart off, I mean I just I'm
honest.
Sometimes I come off across asmean, but it's some people can't
do it honestly?

Speaker 1 (16:52):
they?

Speaker 3 (16:52):
can't.
But again, it's all.
I don't want to say learnedbehavior, but it's all behavior
that I had to adapt to protectmyself, and so I don't feel bad
about it.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
Yeah, it's learning.
It's a lot of learning.
I'm not going to lie about that.
What about you, sir?

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Particularly recently , was my brothers.
I noticed I've always had likea weird, a strange my oldest
brother I always had a strange,a strange relationship and uh,
the other, my other brother,rico.
We were cool but never closelike that because of how we grew

(17:35):
up.
We all like age gaps, but likeit was something in particular
he did uh see, he added me as afriend but like I noticed he
would never react to anythinglike like my kids or anything.
But then like he did this postwhere he was praising my eldest
brother and I was just like itfelt like it shot at me, like

(17:56):
almost like, oh, my siblings orwhatever, and it's like so you
guys are intentionally excludingme from the.
So I was just like I justunfriended and was like, like I
said I made a post about it.
I said I'll unfriend,unfollowing, like I'm not about
to allow you to like disturb orlet it be known that like you
have you're, you're kind ofpassive-aggressively saying you

(18:17):
have an issue with me by tryingto like, oh yeah, my siblings, I
go to war for.
It's like, but you ain't, wedon't talk, you don't
acknowledge me, so I'm not goingto even allow you to.
Yeah, so, but, like I said,that was recently, but I do that
a lot and I even with the showlast week, I started like you
said, you, you realized kindness, you're trying to be cool and

(18:46):
give people opportunities andthen, like I was hitting that
point where I was about, I toldjc.
I said I'm about to fucking gooff, like I'm trying to just
enjoy myself I said that thiswas supposed to be something
where I was just relaxing, yeah,and now
it's getting to a point whereit's getting disrespectful.
So but I always try to get.
I always try to think of theconsequence of my choices in
that moment.
But I was very close to just Ijust didn't like how it was

(19:12):
going.
But I just keep my distancefrom people and I've learned
that as a defense mechanism myentire life.
Eventually you just realizethat you got to distance
yourself to have peace and itmight hurt at times, it might
whatever, but you just realize alot of people aren't for you.
So yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
I think I just try to place people that I allow to be
actually close.
I don't allow people that Idon't think are good people like
around.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
What.
I must not be a good person.
Oh, shut up, shut the fuck up.
Y'all niggas are in my house,like you know what the fuck.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
As a thing to uh, we've had this conversation many
a time.
That's why it's like veryparticular who we choose for
like the talk your shits.
Because we've talked about Isaid I don't.
We'll say it was like I don'tfeel comfortable having said
people or particular people, andthat's kevin's house.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
We're not about that loud oh yeah, if they got out of
line, they're gonna be to belike oh man, that guy's crazy,
yeah, why he do that so like.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
I said we make it a point Like it's vetted and
screened, like we're not aboutto allow that energy to come
into your household.
That's we talk about that shitthoroughly.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Man, I fuck with y'all.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
And I know that's why I don't trip when you're like,
oh so something's coming up, I'm, I'm certain y'all, yeah, we,
we like now we're not putting no, ain't, no way.
Um, so do you find it harder tomake real friends now, or is it
easier just to keep the fakeones away?

Speaker 1 (20:55):
that's a that's a good one I think both.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
I think both of those statements are true.
It's easy to keep the faith inthe way, but just by not being
accessible and then, in return,to actually have, find real
friends or develop realrelationships, you have to be,
you have to be accessible insome degree it's a balance, yeah
yeah, it is, I think it's.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
It's one of those things that, as you're older,
you would think that everybodyis up front with who they are,
they not, they ain't.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
These niggas fronts be all the way up.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
But I think, as it's older now, where it's just like
you can see it and it's like, oh, that was some foul shit, it's
easier to just deal with.
Where you're like, oh nigga,I'm not invested in you, like,
what the fuck?
I met you at this age.
I didn't meet you here.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
We ain't got nothing invested, so I think, like what
I've learned is like it's.
I mean you kind of, you kind ofthrow people in boxes, right, I
mean not like subconsciously youdo right you know what I'm
saying, cause you got like, okay, I got, I got my associates at
the gym that I only talk tothese niggas at the gym.
But when we talk it's a goodtime and it was like a lot of my

(22:13):
you know this, I might show up,type shit right.
Then I have where I'm friendswith other parents, because our
kids are friends.
So now I've been in places andtalking to people and you
realize something like there'sbeen a couple of things you know
what.
Okay, I can rock with them andthe other one I'd be like nah,

(22:34):
I'm horrible at that shit.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I am anti-social for a reason.
I am horrible at that.
Every time it's happened, theylook at me like this nigga's
weird and I'm like I don't knowhow to interact.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
You just talked about random shit, random shit is
yeah, we had some shit whereit's just like damn, and then
it's just like fuck.
You just don't know aboutpeople and you're just like god
damn, like you just played us.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
I think it was weird because because our daughter has
a friend um you know, yeah,andrew's daughter and um, like
you know, I, we figured out thatwe worked and we worked for the
same company, whatever, andit's cool.
And it's like there's been acouple times where like, oh, we
can't, we can't make it, but ifyou guys want her, we can drop
her off.
And I was like, wait, so youjust gonna be your guy.
Like that's a level, like okay,I know we always say we're,

(23:23):
we're cool, like we don't mind.
If you don't mind, we don'tmind, yeah, but I mean, on the
flip side of that, we don'tleave our kid nowhere.
Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's justweird.
But I mean it's like, like Isaid, like you you start, you
kind of like you get thrust tothese situations, paul's, and
then then you, you kind offigure it out as you go, because

(23:43):
I do feel like, when it comesto work, I don't see anybody at
work as friends.
I see it as people I justfucking work with and I always
have the notions like, if Ihaven't, if you haven't been to
my house, you're not my friend,that's how I look at it.
Or if I haven't been to, soit's like, yeah, I might be cool
with you, we might be cordial,but you know, we just go work.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
So stop fucking acting like you give a fuck
about anything I'm doing andit's not just a reflection of
your insecurities andshortcomings in life.
Stop fucking worrying about whyI leave early or why I don't
work certain days or whatever,because it ain't got shit to do
with anything but you feelingshitty about yourself and your

(24:24):
choices.
Yes, I'm talking to you.
You know the fuck I'm talkingto.
Okay, anyway, um, did I answerthis?

Speaker 3 (24:33):
I don't know.
No, I talked a lot oh, keepfake ones away.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, uh, I don't know about.
I just always have the defensemechanism of keeping my distance
from people once they startshowing me certain sides of them
.
So I guess it's easier for meto keep the fake ones away than
it is to find new, new, realfriends.
It's like I have people, uh,that I trust as friends but,

(25:01):
like said, it's one of themthings where I have very few
friends.
And, again, as I say, oncepeople show me a true color, I
just keep my distance.
It could be not necessarilythat they're true colors, it's
just you showed me a hand that Ididn't fuck with and I just was
like, oh, that's all I neededto see and it could be good
people.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
I just I don't know.
I actually think losing Tejoraat such a young age kind of like
like when people are like shithappens at this age and shit,
I'm like nigga, like I've lostlike close friends, like at a
young age, I'm like, whateveryou think this is, I'm not going

(25:40):
to be hurt.
Like you could just you knowwhat I mean, like that
realization is.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
I had a conversation with the guy at the venue about
that.
I said man, 40 is a big thing.
I said when you think about alot of people you lost getting
to 40, you realize it is a bigdeal.
So you cherish that and I thinkit is a blessing to know people
like Tujor.
It just sucks that we lost themat a young age.
People like that, I think youtake those as the, as the

(26:12):
markers for good things in theworld exist yeah um which is
worse outgrowing childhoodfriends or just outgrowing
childhood friends or justoutgrowing family?

Speaker 3 (26:28):
I don't think neither is worse.
I think it's.
It's gonna happen.
It's just a matter of time.
You're gonna, you're gonnaoutgrow people in life.
It's gonna happen, you justgotta get used to it.
The problem is a lot of timeswhen you outgrow people in life.
That's just, it's going tohappen, something's going to
happen.
You just got to get used to it,cause the problem is a lot of
times when you outgrow people.
They started, they turn tohaters.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
So, man, I don't think I have a Answer Answer to
that Cause I'm, like you know,with me.
I don't know, I don't feel likethat.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
I feel like for me friends are harder because, like
you kind of choose who's inyour tribe by, like how you vibe
with people, because you knowfamily's family.
You might not necessarily everactually fuck with each other
period, but like you know, whenyou cool with somebody and
you've grown cool and you havehave that realization that,

(27:21):
excuse me, we're going separatepaths.
It might hit harder than like,say, that cousin that you were
never cool with to begin with orthat you know family blood is
blood but it don't mean that'sfamily to me, I guess I just
look at it as like, because it'snot, it don't necessarily even
have to be an outgrower,sometimes you just grow apart,
like it just goes separate wayswhere it's like it just happens,

(27:45):
different type of outgrowing.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
So yeah, I mean, I guess I take it in a negative
way when I hear it that way.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
So so how do you have that tough talk when you
realize you need to go yourseparate ways?
You got a friend you got afriend or a significant other,
whatever you realize that you're, I feel like it's like a
natural you go to a friend or asignificant other or whatever
you realize that you're done.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
I feel like it's like a natural thing, though.
Yeah, to me I feel like thatthing just kind of naturally
happens.
There's people that don'treally talk.
There's nothing ill or nothing,it just kind of happened.
You know what I?

Speaker 2 (28:14):
mean I can see that with significant others, when
you outgrown each other anddon't realize it.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, I each other and don't realize it.
Yeah, I mean, that would bedifferent.
You'd have to probably havethat talk because you're like,
well, shit, I can't.
Just, I mean, you could, youcould, you could.
But like I think, when it comesto like even like family, like,
if it just happens like that,it just kind of happens.
It don't necessarily have to bea ill thing, but it's just it's
, yeah, it's like because I got.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
I was thinking I had a cousin.
I got a cousin, younger cousin.
I mean I always, always likefond of him, like look at him as
like a little brother.
And then it was clear to me,like the like in the path he was
going down, like uh, I wasn'tright, I don't, I didn't rock
with that.
Now again he grown man, that'shis life decisions and so like
we don't communicate like weused to.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
You know what I mean.
But it doesn't mean like itdoesn't it never really changed
how.
It doesn't change my love Ihave for him.
You know what I mean.
It's just that what youassociate yourself with I can't
be associated.
I can't be associated with thattype deal.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
So I don't know if that's we was kind of talking
about this the other day with myfamily.
It was funny because we weretalking about how the cousins
grew up.
It was like, okay, so I had you, and then you got older and
started driving, get pussy andall that shit.
So it was like I'm not hangingout with this little one's kid.
So then it started hanging outwith this one and then I did the

(29:39):
same and then it just kind ofprogressed.
It was like we love each otherbut it was like fool I'm.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Because I remember that with my little cousin he
was everywhere and then I leftand then he did his own thing
and it just kept going and thenout there doing it huh.
That's fine.
What about you?

Speaker 2 (30:05):
uh, uh, the the talk I could see like when I think of
significant others.
I see it in that scenario likehow hard it could be, because

(30:25):
sometimes you could make a validpoint to being, or to
outgrowing one another and ifthe other person don't see it
that way, then they're justgoing to be like, oh, this
motherfucker's making excusesand you're like nigga, we're
going two separate ways.
So that's where I see it beingthe difficult.
Like I said, I agree thateverything else is kind of like

(30:46):
a natural understanding, butlike that one was where it's.
Like that one you couldliterally be like you don't see
that we're going two differentdirections in life, like this is
what you're gravitating towards, this what I'm gravitating
towards, and one side could belike but we're supposed to do it
together and it's like that'snot always the case.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
So yeah, yeah, that one's a weird one, because I
feel like you can run separateraces so I definitely you can
run separation as long as thegoal, yeah, as long as the goal,
as long as the end goal is thesame, yeah, but the
communication.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
That, to me, is where the communication has to lie,
because if say, one of you wassuper religious and the other
one was atheist, Again like yeah, you don't talk about that
Again.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
the you don't talk about religion and the one
that's religious.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Just, she was like I'm going to go to church.
I'm going to stay my ass home,oh, okay.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
I've seen that happen a lot.
That's my house.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
I'm not atheist, but I'm going to be going to church,
they go to church and all thatshit.
I'm like I don't call myself aChristian.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
All right, let's switch it, then One's into
swinging and the other one's not.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Well, y'all shouldn't probably be together.
Y'all shouldn't probably betogether.
Yeah, you are now a cuck, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I decided I want an oak relationship.
You know what?
I don't think this is going towork out.
Let's not open, yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Open a goddamn open the door.
Did you know there's a?

Speaker 1 (32:15):
cuck queen.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
I didn't know that was a thing oh wow, you ever
felt guilty for leveling up andleaving some folks by?

Speaker 3 (32:25):
I don't feel guilty for shit working on it I don't
feel guilty for sure, everythingI got I work for and I know why
I do what I do.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
I don't feel guilty, I'm working on it, working on
the guilt thing, I think I'vepinpointed where a lot of my
guilt comes from now.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
So that's a good thing, I will say this If I
level up, I don't feel guilt.
I usually feel like now whatbitch, I told you I was going to
do it.
You didn't believe me.
Now look at me, I'm doing it,motherfucker.
That's usually my energyBecause it's like, if you

(33:06):
understand my growing up, I wasalways doubted.
So if I level up and I feellike I leveled up, I'm not going
to feel guilty about it and noone's going to make me feel
guilty about it.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
It's just going to be one of those things like you
see.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
You told me I couldn't do it.
I did it, didn't I?
Yeah, now what bitch like.
That's usually my energy.
I know it sounds petty, that'snot petty, murphy.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
I can't I can't do the lab, do the lab.
Can you do that?
Which one?
Eddie murphy?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
I don't know if I'm good.
I'm like that's the closestyou're gonna get.
Can you do the kawaii?
What's that?
We're gonna do that randomlyit's I'm gonna do it randomly
now.
Okay, that's it, that's allright, yeah, that's that we're
going to do that randomly.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
I'm going to do it randomly now, okay.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, that's how I take it, though I can't feel
guilt.
Well played, yes, I'm tired.
That's what she said.
Does age make it easier orharder to accept that not
everyone or everything is foryou?

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Easier, because the older you get, the less you give
a fuck.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yeah, it's easier.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
It makes it easier Because the older you get, the
more you lock in on those thatcount on you.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Well, your time runs out.
You're like time's not infinite.
I ain't got time to deal withthis shit.
I got 35 summers nigga.
You know what I'm saying 35summers.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
nigga, you know what I'm saying 35 summers.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
I'm finna enjoy these bitches.
Got 111.
Okay, I'm gonna put all thefake shit in me.
Whoa, I mean pause, yes, pause,yes, that's a pause.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Whoa, Whoa well.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Whoa, whoa whoa well he going to jail.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yeah, he ain't going to jail oh shit, I was saying it
makes it easier cause yourealize like I even said with
the stalker shit, you realizeyou only got so much time on
this fucking earth, yeah, andthe older you get, the more that
realization becomes a realityand you realize that you're not

(35:11):
going to waste your time, andvaluable time, on bullshit.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
So my favorite phrase lately has been like.
When I see people being like,I'm like damn, that's just
shitty.
I'm like you got to live withthat.
Yeah, like you got to live likethat, that sucks.
Yeah, like they might thinkthat I'm like but when you
realize you suck, that sucks.
Like you wasted a whole lot oftime sucking.
Yeah, whoa, pause.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Nah, fuck that.
There's a lot of they weresucking pause big pause jaw
hurts and everything got thatjaw popping little mo what's
something that you wish blackmen would talk more about?
When it comes to friendshipbreakups and relationship

(35:55):
breakups, black men you can talkabout the ones that hurt.
I definitely do think thereneeds to be more.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
I think we should talk more about a lot of shit.
We have a lot of even just menholding shit in, and it's black
people.
We don't ever.
It's funny when we talk aboutemotions.
That don't it just always gotto be.
It don't go over, well, yeah.
And then finances and shit too.

(36:31):
We don't ever do that, but it'sshitty because that's one of
those things where it's like,well, we can't, how are we going
to move up if we don't shareinformation with each other?
And then like, then you gotthat double edge where it's like
, well, now I'm sharing shitwith you and now niggas is just
hating, like like I don'tunderstand, like what am I
supposed to do?
So it's like damn, like it'sone of those to how do we let

(36:53):
the guard down on some shit?
I was to stop suffering insilence, yeah that's true.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
That's what people do a lot of people, men, for sure
what's wrong.
I was just thinking about thesuffering and silence part.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
Like what, what are you suffering in silence with?
Like, uh, you know, like when Iwent out, when, uh, when I'm,
when I'm going through, when I'mdealing with my shit, so like
when I'm dealing with my anxiety, uh, when I'm dealing with my
uh, depression, you know so doyou like, did you just sit there
and and and not tell a soul andjust, or do you do like at

(37:41):
least put it into things, or doyou just sit there and like not
move, not?
Uh, basically I, I I suppressand not deal.
And then, uh, as you know, asthe days go along, that shit
creeps out and I I kind of likejust let it sit there.
But I was, like you know, Isaid some shit, like because my

(38:05):
therapist said that shit to me,I still said, well, one, I don't
want to bother people, two,because everybody got shit going
on.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
And you know, a lot of times, a lot of times, I just
felt like you know else, likelet me deal with my yeah I'm not
gonna trauma dump on somebodybut that's it's funny because
speaking with mine, she'sactually does a lot of uh
therapy with uh men who've hadlike heart attacks and stuff,

(38:34):
and like the way she puts it,she's like it's interesting how
you guys do this.
Like you guys will like hideall this stuff from like your
spouse or something to protectthem, but meanwhile you don't
realize that even though youseem strong, like your body has
a toll on it.
Like your body does this, likeyour body will let you know and

(38:55):
it's like it's ironic how we doall of this stuff and then the
suppressing and all of thisstuff attacks us in the end
where you're like damn, that'sfucked up, like it's one of
those where you're like damn,that's fuck like she.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
She literally told me , kevin, she literally told me
that I need to find a way todecompress and relax and get
some sleep before my body forcesme.
Yeah, so you need to do ityourself before your body gets
gets to a point to where, like,you're gonna have to do it, and
it's never a good way, it'snever to do it, so you need to
do it yourself before your bodygets to the point to where, like
, you're going to have to do it.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
And it's never a good way.
It's never a good have to yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
And she fucked me up.
I was like look here, man, Igot to work tomorrow, I got to
work today.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
You get any tools or any ideas for a murder to do.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
Yeah, with some shit I'm probably not going to do it.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Well, you should.
You see this heart-shapednotebook I got over here.
Yeah, I didn't like my mombought that.
I was like I got to write stuff, I got to start writing and
then she come in with it.
I was like I didn't say I waswriting a fucking teenage
journal.
But Dear Diary today, me andforcing myself to write.

(40:03):
And then that's where I think Icame to a realization where a
lot of that guilt came from, andit was like damn, that's holy
shit.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Something that has helped me.
I will say this that I now readbefore bed oh yeah, you 40,
nigga.
I'm 40.
You ain't there yet, but you 40.
I'm 40.
You ain't there yet, but you 40.
But at the same time I'venoticed that it helps when I'm

(40:31):
not looking at the screen andI'm actually using my, I'm
reading and I'm going back andforth, especially because what
I'm reading is kind ofinteresting too, karma Sutra.
No, that's what I'm practicing.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
I was waiting on something, I was like something,
I was like some slicks comingpause uh, I feel like we should
talk about more amongst blackmen is, uh, mistakes and and and
navigating mistakes.
I feel like a lot of times weput on these fronts like we're

(41:02):
just we have it figured out, orat least not figured out, but
like not acknowledging that wefuck up.
So like other people fuck upand they kind of need to know
when hey, so you fucked up too,how did you go get through that
fuck up like?
Because a lot of times I'm like, damn, I'm not gonna tell this
to them because, shit, kevinain't fuck up like this and he

(41:23):
was like no kevin probably did,kevin, just ain't telling him
like I'm irresponsible.
So I think acknowledging thefuck up and not acting like the
fuck up is like a weakness, buta way of kind of a lesson
learned and and maybe paying itforward, because I think a lot
of times mistakes are the onething we don't want to own up to

(41:47):
.
Oh yeah so like shit on here,when you I say when you talk to
people and you're like wait aminute, so you fucked up too.
Like what?
How did you?
It's like nigga, how.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
If I could have learned from like yeah, and then
we gotta like sometimes reachout when you see it.
Yeah, because it's like I'llhave like if somebody was doing
some of the shit I did to thehouse, be like, hey, nigga
before you do that, make sureyou read this Foot heart.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
So what's one thing you stopped apologizing for
after 40 or right before 40,since oh all bus and quit.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Oh, that was well before 40.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Shit was good.
What can I say?
Yeah, I told you, I told youstop throwing it back, Fucking
listen.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
Oh, now here we are.
That's one thing I'm actuallyactually.
That goes all along the linesof everything I'm working on,
cause I be overly apologetic andoverly guilty.
You do say my bad a lot forstuff I shouldn't feel guilty
for, so I haven't got there yet.

(42:58):
So that's a running.
We'll put a pin in it for me.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
I think I'll stop being serious.
I'll stop apologizing Maybelike early 30s for just being me
Like.
I'm not like I'll stopapologizing for, like you know,
for being me Lacking the thingsI like doing things I do not,
you know, because people alwayssay, oh man, you know, for, yeah
being me, for liking the thingsI like doing things I do not,

(43:23):
you know, because people alwayssay, oh man, you know, you don't
come around family, like youdon't come around, you don't
like.
Well, first of all, y'allniggas don't invite me nowhere.
And if you do, at this point Iprobably wouldn't show up anyway
, because I'm used to not seeingyou.
That's the problem.
I've gotten used to not seeingyou, so yeah, if there's nothing
that's drawing me here.
Why would I come anyway?
Pause, um, is it?
Yeah, um, so I mean I don'tapologize for that anymore and

(43:46):
it's like also I don't apologizefor being honest anymore, like
that's my honest take.
Don't ask me.
I'll tell mcfly all the time ifyou want my honest opinion,
don't.
If you don't want honestopinion, don't ask me.
And I never asked this niggashit because I would tell you
honestly.
And it's like, and I've knownthere's been people time to time
people ask me something andwhen I answer they don't.
I can clearly say they don'tlike the answer, because they

(44:09):
would.
They would ask something, theywould think that I was gonna
like, maybe side with their wayof thinking and then when I
point out how their, theirthinking is flawed or whatever
they, they get again, I saidnever asked.
I like my self-esteem, I'm notgonna tear you down again don't

(44:35):
mass nigga fucking up ass.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Niggas like oh shit, oh, oh oh, come on, they don't
kick you.
Calm down um.
The thing that I stoppedapologizing for after 40 was
literally just being me.
I embraced my weirdness and myquirkiness.
I know man don't say it thoughmy weirdness, though, is what I

(45:01):
stopped apologizing for, notbluntly being, but just I'm
weird man.
I can't help it, you're notweird, you're you.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
You gotta stop calling yourself weird.
You're unique.
Everyone should be.
The thing is, you should wantto live life.
Be uniquely you, because that'swhat makes you different from
everybody else.
The problem is there's twopeople out here trying to copy
everybody else and not beingthemselves.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
And what like.
The problem is there's twopeople out here trying to copy
everybody else and not beingthemselves.
Like I said about the show,it's interesting to have an
introspective thought andrealization as you're performing
and you're trying to rememberlyrics, because when I was on
the stage and I was listening tothe words that were coming out,
I was like this is dope.
I do this unique.

(45:54):
But the problem I often ran intowhen I was active was you're
meeting jealousy andunfamiliarity at the same time.
So you're being pit againstpeople that are jealous because
they recognize your dopeness, ontop of also meeting the people
that says this is unfamiliar tome, so dope what I've done for

(46:14):
the past 20 years.
And this shit is dope.
It's just coming, coming victimof what.

(46:36):
What is?
Because jealousy is alwaysgoing to exist, because people
will want, will see what youhave, but won't want to
acknowledge it, because if theyacknowledge it, then it means
something else.
And then also, on the flip side, is people unfamiliar with what
this is, because they're soused to putting people in a box.
They want you to sound likesomeone or what they are
familiar with, instead ofrealizing that you are something

(46:59):
else, and I don't want toapologize for that anymore, and
that was a dope feeling to feeloh yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
I'm glad you guys are there because you should never
apologize for that anymore andthat was a dope feeling to fill.
Oh yeah, that's good you guysare there because should never
apologize for you like ever goodtype was make you cry ever yeah
if your dick falls going intoit, it's a wrap what no, I'm
back did you just say that?

Speaker 2 (47:22):
If you try to push in and it starts to fold.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Backing out.
Yeah, that's I mean.
That's that tight.
That's like yeah, never mindYou're trying to stuff it in
because Anyway.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
That's the gummy.
It's going to be a quick night,oh shit.
Before you leave, let me getthis channel.
What used to get your energy.
That doesn't deserve a secondof it now oh shit, a lot of shit

(48:03):
.
I was going to say 2k, but, butno, I still play it.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
People Shit.
Call of Duty.
I ain't played that shit inmonths, fuck, call of Duty.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
I just report people.
That piss me off.
He's cheating, yeah right.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
They're all cheating.
For me, mostly people.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
I think more the social media bullshit.
They're all cheating For me,mostly people.
I think more the social mediabullshit Because I be in like I
got to do better at that too,because that's part of the
reason I don't like posting shit, because then niggas you don't
know say stuff and you're likeexcuse me, find your address and
figure out where you at.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
You got to change your outlook on that.
Yeah, you want the haters nigga.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, that's what people come for nah, some nigga
put up some blackface on my shitand like put it in a hidden
comment and I was like how do Iget this to post so he could be
out, but whatever you got the uhhit unhide.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
They can see.
Everyone can see it.
Instagram does thatautomatically.
They don't do that.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Oh shit, whoops, they gave you, they gave you a black
face.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Yeah, he put black face, like he's like I'll go to
work for you and say, oh, that'sclever, but that's not smart.
It's not smart.
You're trying to be racist.
Yeah, yeah, 100.
So I would have said do youhave the degrees I've done a lot
better of?
Uh, what's that hide?
Button the hide and like justscrolling and getting rid of

(49:31):
shit.
That fucking you can tellpeople are posting just to burn
you.
So I think I've I've done waybetter at just cutting shit out.
That's like I know is there totrigger.
So it's weird to say at 40,because social media is so
prevalent in lives now, itdidn't exist when we was younger

(49:54):
.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
It was different.
They were throwing lettersaround school.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
We were just talking about map quest like they're
throwing around another school Ithink that would be for me
something like that, like thepeople that I don't know saying
stuff getting better at honestlywhat I do now.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
I try to trigger, I go under the post.
I'll laugh on the commentbecause in my mind, all
engagement is good engagement.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:27):
The more you comment, the more they're going to push
my shit.
I appreciate you for hating me.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I mean I commented, I was like have fun with that.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
but I appreciate you for hating me.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
I wanted to like.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
So I'm the one nigga that does the opposite.
What's that?
You block them when trolls come, I just I ignore it.
Yeah, I block it.
I just don't allow it to.
Yeah, cause I know how I get.
So I'm just like, no, I'm justnot gonna.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
That's what I need to do more if you could see that
shit.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
I get called on the daily.
I just laugh at it.
Shaft, nah, worse shit thanthat.
That's not bad.
That's why I said way shit thanthat.
That's not bad.
And that's why that's why Isaid way worse than that.
Way worse than that shit youknow, that that is does come
with.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
Yeah, I know the good , so that's why it's like I
should want to see more of that,but it's like that's just tough
I've had conversations back andforth where I saw that this,
this debate back and forth,wasn't going anywhere.
Yeah, it's like I hate thatshit.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
I'm mad that I even started doing it Like the Drake
when the guy was trying tocomment back and forth about the
Drake and Kendrick shit.
I was like this is not going togo anywhere.
Well.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
In my mind it's like I wouldn't have been commenting.
You should have been makingvideos.
You should have been replyingwith videos.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Oh, the whole.
Oh shit, I gotta stop doingthat.
The uh, where you put yeah thereply underneath with it.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yeah, I just can't that was at work too.
We were just going back andforth and he was just.
I was like dude, he was reallypushing this.
He wasn't necessarily teamDrake, he was just anti-country
yeah, so that was fun.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
What I learned recently is a lot of niggas got
time.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah, and keyboards, do y'all not work?
And he would put these longparagraphs and I was like I'm
not reading all this Niggas gota keyboard Because I would be
arguing with people and you'relike, how did you type that much
that fast?
Oh, you, just Any nigga with akeyboard on social media.
I am not talking to.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
I like what I normally like.
I said don't write a paragraphand I'll just reply with three
laugh emojis.
I ain't even ready to say it,just keep it blushing.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
There's a secret, there's a trick, just laughing
at everything I gotta get theskin.
It's like apparently he didn'tread my fucking comments.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
This ain't a good episode for me.
Why it's too many pauses isthat three or four?
No, I just you guys are goingto have to see that in the show.
That was a pause that youdidn't hear.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
I don't think I answered.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
Uh, that doesn't receive my energy now you said,
you said, you said, you don'tsay 2k yeah, I said I was gonna
say 2k, no, but it's just, it isthe trolling part.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Like I just don't react to it I used to let it
bother me or whatever.
Now I just kind of, when ithappens, I go, oh my god again.
All right, I used to let itbother me, or whatever.
Now I just kind of, when ithappens, I go, oh my God again,
all right.
I used to try to engage or makea post, rebutting it going.
Oh yeah, I sat down.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
Embrace the troll.
They drive up engagement.
They actually doing you a favor.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Speaking of favors, ever realize that someone only
hits you up when they need afavor?
And how do you treat that now,as you approach 40 or after 40?

Speaker 1 (53:55):
I mean, if I can help them with a favor, I'll give
them the favor, but if not, thenI just ignore it.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
You should give them a box of chocolates with a.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Shit, shit box.
I ain't got time for that.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
She did.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
That's disgusting still.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
She might have it still on standby.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
My glasses are talking to me right now and it's
upsetting me.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
Ah, fuck.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
It just started talking, talking.
I'm like what, what?
Did it say some vaccinations,gotta get TB.
It didn't say it quite likethat, but it's done.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
No doo doo balls no doo doo, that's still wild.
I wonder what she's doing.
I wonder if she no doo-dooballs.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
No doo-doo, that's still wild.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
I wonder what she's doing.
I wonder if she smells herfingers from time to time.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
I just found that doo-doo on Facebook.
I should like message them andbe like hey, you remember when
they been sent you?

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Oh shit.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Oh, I've never seen a breakup that fast.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Did she hate him?

Speaker 1 (55:10):
No, they were.
She really liked him.
I don't know what she thoughtthat, just let us know who she
was.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
She's pretty too.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
She's like real pretty and that just she was
like.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
you know what shows love Shit.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah, doo-doo balls.
You know what shows love Shit.
Yeah, doo-doo balls.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Did you answer?

Speaker 1 (55:33):
I did, sir.
What's up man?

Speaker 3 (55:35):
You good, I'm good you want some soup.
No, I'm good.
You said you answered the favor.
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
You don't give.
Okay, I don't usually do favorsunless I know you, so if people
hit me up for favors, I do dofavors.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
I do favors by standing out your way um, I yeah
.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
I just don't like if we haven't talked.
There's people that can attestto that.
This nigga, literally youdidn't give a fuck.
I was like, hey, my nigga, wedidn't give a fuck if I was out
in the cold.
I was like, hey, my nigga, wehaven't talked in a long time.
Alright, is there a friendshipor a situation you finally
outgrew this decade?

Speaker 3 (56:17):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
What's decade?
I was 31.
So, 2015 to 2025.
Apparently so, apparently so.
Bless, you Didn't know I wasoutgrowing it, but fuck it.
Whatever, I think you know whatI'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
It took me a second.
I was like, oh yeah, heunfriended me too.
I talking about oh yeah, ittook me a second.
I was like, oh yeah, heunfriended me too.
I was like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
That's one of those like I'm so surprised how I feel
about it, where I'm like ehwell, do I know this nigga?
Nah, oh, nah, it's whatever, dowell.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
I don't think so.
I don't know.
I think pretty much Last decadeI'm only at it I think this
last decade I've added Kevin andhis family.
Yeah, I haven't really removedanybody.
That's good, but then again youalready trimmed all the fat.

(57:32):
I'm not really sociable I wasgoing to say you trimmed the fat
early.
Nigga, I'm not sociable likethat.
I know how to hold aconversation.
I told you because of my wife,I know how to hold a
conversation.
I can shoot the shit.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
You're way more sociable than I am.
Because of my wife, I can holda conversation, I can shoot the
shit.
You're way more sociable than Iam.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
I can shoot the shit and talk shit with anybody.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
I can't.
And then, like, when I try it,it don't go well at all, because
after like two sentences it'slike but you gotta understand.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
As a kid I was locked in the house with 20 cousins
and we were told we couldn'tcall.
So I five days a week duringthe summertime.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
So I had a lot to talk about.
How big was the?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
house, I had a three bedroom 20 kids that's good,
that's an exaggeration okay,maybe like 13.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
That's not much of an exaggeration.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
I was like still still a lot shit.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
You didn't say like 7 yeah you didn't say, oh, it was
exaggerating, exaggerate.
I was like still still a lotShit.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
You didn't say like seven, yeah.
You didn't say oh, it wasexaggerate, just seven, it's
like 13,.
There's only seven off 13 youknow, Three bedroom house.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
Yeah, I mean it was my cousin's house.
I mean that was it.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Like how many beds.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
The two, two, maybe four or five, Because my cousins
the boys had a room and thegirls had a room.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Bunk beds yeah, and wife falls off the bunk bed.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
A lot of people were push off.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Yeah, I believe it.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
A lot of fighting going on.
I think that was recordedfalling off I mean because I
explain, when I tell my daughterthis, she's amazed by this.
But I was like, yeah, wewatched ourself.
Like the oldest one was incharge, I think my oldest cousin
at the time, he was maybe like15, 16, was the oldest, so, like

(59:21):
you, the first one gettingfucked up because you should
have known what was going on.
And then I was like maybe thethird youngest.
So, yeah, you know, we watchedourselves.
We were told nigga, there'ssnacks in there.
Everyone gets one a piece.
We'll be back in a couple hours.
Don't fucking leave the house.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
That's how Don't answer the door for nobody.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
And when they got home we had to go outside.
That's it.
So, yeah, I mean I haven'treally.
No, I can say I've assignedpeople to different roles,
different spots, you know.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
So that counts I can see that, I can definitely see
that.
I can say that I can co-signthe different.
You just realize not thatpeople aren't for you, that
they're just not what youthought they were.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
Yeah, I mean it's kind of harsh to say, but you,
at a certain age, you do realize, okay, this person is good for
this.
So, like, if I know, if we doanything outside of this, it may
cause like, or we have any typeof conversation outside of this
, it may cause some type of riftor some type of problem.
So I'm going to just avoidthese conversations with this

(01:00:33):
person.
And it's like you know, likeyou got your one buddy, like you
know you talk sports with, yougot your one buddy you talk guns
with.
And it's like you know, know,because when you have different,
when you have, uh, when youhave different passions,
different avenues, you, uh, youalign with people in those
passions and avenues.
They that just don't mean youdon't, you're not gonna align

(01:00:55):
with everything else so you, I,and that's and that's the,
that's the key to shooting theshit people.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
You find what you have yeah, the people that are
carefree, that you don't have,you don't use.
Do serious scenarios orsituations with and you have the
people that you're like.
I can trust, I can count onthese people in serious
situations.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Yeah, but that's like the whole, that's like the,
that that's the playbook forshooting the shit.
You shoot the shit.
The thing is is like if Ireally wanted to be, I really
couldn't manipulate people.
I wanted to like.
You really have to Dale.
Carnegie okay, all you have todo is really you find something
that they're interested in, thatyou maybe have some type of

(01:01:37):
interest in that's the book andthen you literally let them feel
like they're teaching yousomething and they'll talk
forever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
That's what they say in the book.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
They'll talk forever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
I mean, it's not like I read it or anything.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Okay, like, so, like you can apply it.
You can apply that to your lifein a non-sinister way.
So, like you know, likeeveryone up here, we all have
different talents, differentinterests.
Like I, I don't know what it'slike to be in the navy, but
fucking kevin can tell me whatit's like.
I don't.
I'm not, I ain't fixing shit,but kevin's fixtures.

(01:02:12):
I can talk to him about that.
I can talk to you about rapping.
I can talk about basketball.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, sorry, you manipulated mewell no, I'm not moving, you
know what I'm saying.
But it's like, it's like itworked, like with Kyle it worked
.
Kyle's a he's an army guy.
He's a gun guy.
If I have a gun question, I'mgoing to Kyle because he's going
to fucking know every guy he'sgoing to know.
He's going to tell me the lawand the number of the goddamn

(01:02:34):
law.
I just know not to make Kyleangry you know what I mean, but
it's so, it really is.
And so when I say I'verearranged it like, I just
understand that sometimes youcan be drawn to, you can be
drawn to people for certainthings because they resonate
with a certain part of you.
So that's what you communicate.
And so when you get to thepoint to where, like, for

(01:02:55):
instance, like I know, like whenit comes to, you're talking to
the parents of the friend ofyour child, that conversation,
nine times out of ten, is goingto be about the kids.
It's going to be about the kids.
And then you may learn overtime other things that you guys
are interested in.
For me hardly ever happens.
I don't know why I keep runningto these goddamn Cowboy fans.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
Because I hate them.
They're everywhere.
They're like roaches they won'tdie, but their.
They won't die, but the teamdoes.
So it's like, but it's justlike.
There's always to me it's like,the difference between being
cordial and then trying todevelop friendships.
Right, I don't feel like in thelast decade I've really tried

(01:03:38):
to develop friendships.
I've just been cordial withpeople and then people that
really resonated with me like wekind we kind of got had a vibe
that it didn't kind of likeascend it from there.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I met you in 2015.

Speaker 3 (01:03:51):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
It's been 10 years 2015?

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
It's been 10 years.
Oh okay, vibes, vibes, youstill here Ouch, still on the
roster.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Ouch, Now I'm just another one on the roster.
God damn Stable dog.
What's the reality?
What reality about gettingolder is hitting you the hardest
Mortality that I'm on a roster.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
I thought I had one bad knee.
Now I realize I've got badknees shit.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
I mean, that's what's fucking me up.
More is the mortality part,because it's closer than I try
not to think about that at alllater I'm one hard fart and a
sneeze away from paralysis.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
That's the reality I have to accept each day.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
I just feel like it's going to happen.
It's going to happen when it'ssupposed to happen.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
It's going to happen when it's going to happen.
But I think about it more now,where I'm like damn, I'm closer
to fucking 60 than I was to.
You know what I'm saying 35summers.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
Don't tell me that 35 summers, 35 summers why?
You gotta tell me that likefuck, you didn't realize that
you were closer to 6.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
I didn't want to realize that.
I mean, if I want to look at itnow, I'm technically closer to
20 than I was to 10 yeah, yeah,technically, so I can look at it
the opposite way.
I technically closer to 20 thanI was to 10.
Yeah, technically so.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
I can look at it the opposite way.
I'd just be thinking about 50and shit, where I'm like, damn,
it's going to be a dope birthday.
Turn up for a show.
I'm going to buy a castle inGermany.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
I thought you said a casket, nah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
You better send them goddamn invitations when you
turn 48 so niggas can start tosing.
Make sure you have yourpassport ready.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
We gonna party in this castle, but that's, what is
more, my realization, themortality piece.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
I'm serious nigga, I'm like a fart or a sneeze a
bad sneeze, away from paralysis,because sometimes I'll sneeze
hard now, oh yeah why does thathurt shit?

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
I get coughs that hurt like in the back, yeah
we're like, that's not where Icoughed, yeah I've had it where
I or I've stretched and thestretch fucked me up.
Yeah, how does God damn.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
That lock up.
I'm like I've never experiencedso much lock up where your body
just locked.
You're like oh fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:06:36):
It's like I tell my wife I am officially an old
school, I have a carburetor warmup before I do anything.
Yeah, we were the shitty party.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
I feel like I was forewarned by all the older guys
.
They were like I'll wait tillyou hit this age, nigga, and
you're like and now you ever getfamiliar with icy hot like the
oh, the bengay and shit yeah uh,not yet I did all that shit
when I was playing baseball, Imight, I reckon I just smell

(01:07:06):
also well and welcome it oh yeah, that tiger bomb all that shit
you're like oh my god, yes, oh,you hurting huh I used to when I
was young.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
My dad would do that show like that shit smelled
disgusting.
That's how I get it now.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
Yeah, I get it I got the little massage gun right now
.
That shit is.
I got two of them.
That shit hurts but it hurts.

Speaker 3 (01:07:25):
So good.
Massage gun right now, thatshit is.
I got two of them.
That shit hurts, but it hurtsso good.
Massage gun with the heatingpad.
Put the heat on there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, I got to just go get a massage.
Two of them.
I think I'm going to get a dudemassage.
I have never done that.
Hey, let me tell you something.
But I feel like they can getdeep massage muscles.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
Let me tell you something, kevin, deep in the
muscles.
Let me tell you something,kevin I've done it Never going
back.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
It hurt, tap out, tom it hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
No, it didn't hurt.
Oh yeah, that one motherfucker.
He was too goddamn.
Tap out Tom.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
He just in there that motherfucker, I'm telling you,
the massage was awesome, untilhe got to one Specific spot and
I almost swung on him, damn,damn.
He got to my shoulder and didsome shit where it pinched and I
said, ooh, shit.

Speaker 3 (01:08:09):
Yeah, I will say this .
I got a massage at a malemasseuse one time or a couple
times, but since then I cannotdo.
The females are not strongenough.
I need the pressure he wasapplying.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
So you meet Helga, but where she?

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
at Shit.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
The one massage I don't want from a dude is the,
the one on the on the back ofthe head, where they're like
rubbing your shit.
I'll be like nah, dog, we cool.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
We cool.
It always gets me.
It always gets me like when themassage, especially like the
male.
It's like when it gets tooquiet in the room, like that
music needs to stay playing,Because that moment you're like,
why are you breathing?

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
The last time I got one, I said, hey dog, we ain't
got to talk bro.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
Yeah, don't have a conversation, just let the music
play.

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
I said, if you want, my AirPods are right there, I
can listen to some music.
I do not need to hear yourbreathing, I don't need a man
asking me is that too muchpressure?

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Yeah, I guess that's.
Maybe I'm not ready for this.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
We're really tense right here.

Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
How's the pressure right there?

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
Just.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Are you?

Speaker 3 (01:09:25):
lighting candles.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
We're going to go ahead and take off the lower.
I didn't want to lower, justthe shoulders.
What's?

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
the truth about yourself that you only face
since you're either 40 orturning 40?
I'm too uh passive with shit.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
I could teach you aggression what I was looking at
the time I was like god damn,we just we was going in on this.

Speaker 3 (01:09:59):
Oh shit, I could teach you aggression no, I got
aggression.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
I just like I'm one of those who like when I get to
a certain.
I don't like that feeling andlike I'm one of those who's not
good at the competition if I getto a point I'm not good at, oh,
down the back, yeah.
So I don't like to get to thatpoint, so it's like, so it's red
or nothing.
I'm usually.

(01:10:24):
I try to keep it in the yellowso it don't get to red.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
Getting to red might be therapeutic.

Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
It might be, or it could be, a felony.
Maybe I'll try a rage room.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
I've been saying that .

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
I've been saying that I've been saying that, but I
haven't done that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:51):
I mean, we know an open space.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
There's a rage room in a no, I mean we know an open
space.
No, that's, it's sold they gotcameras on the motherfucker.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
they'll be like my bad, I forgot the question.
What's the?

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
realization you learned about yourself in
turning 40?
.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
That I really do need to figure out a way to handle
the stress, because it's goingto kill me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:29):
Oh yeah, you got to drive, Never mind.
If you didn't drive, I'd belike yeah, it's going to kill me
.
Yeah you got to figure that out.

Speaker 3 (01:11:44):
Especially if you realize that too, my therapist
literally told me last week thatI have to.
I have to start putting morefocus on my own happiness and
not just my family, my bad myshit's been beeping in my ear
like right now um skydive.

(01:12:06):
I'm not doing that shit theybring me closer to death.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
I'm good uh, the realization I hit at 40 was
realizing that it's okay to bevulnerable.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
Oh, yeah, is realizing that it's okay to be
vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
Oh yeah, like that that's the real, that it's like
hard for me to be vulnerable anduh.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
Vulnerable how.

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
Emotionally.

Speaker 3 (01:12:37):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
I'm so used to uh, that's what.

Speaker 3 (01:12:39):
I'm saying you walked in the house to change your
shirt.

Speaker 2 (01:12:44):
Oh, you're saying Well, I mean, I'm not showing my
titties, man nigga, just atitty nigga still I don't you
want me to show my titties uphere?
No, I've seen your titties.
I don't want to.
Yes, do it.
You want to do it in the camera?
I'm going to challenge you todo it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
I mean, I was full of shirt on at the party.
Party, oh you had it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
I thought you meant for the pot.
Are you going to show your?

Speaker 3 (01:13:07):
titties.
Yeah, you got to put it oncamera.
No, I'm going to do that?

Speaker 2 (01:13:10):
See there's levels, I guess.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
If I do it, you know what you're doing.
I'm not doing shit.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
But yeah, the vulnerability is one of the
things where it's like it's okayto say I need help or I'm
unsure, and stop looking at itas some sort of weakness, to be
unsure of yourself or unsure ofthe situation.
That's the realization ofhitting 40 for me.
With that being said, this hasbeen episode 215 of the

(01:13:42):
Heavyweight Podcast.
Yay yay.
Des isn't here, but she'll beback very soon.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
Please go in the comments and say that y'all miss
her because she think y'allshe's a favorite.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
No, she's not Like, subscribe, share and comment All
that shit Till next time.
We love you Peace.

Speaker 1 (01:14:01):
Peace.
Did you guys ever go to Club215, the strip club?
Nope, nope, nope.
Oh, I'm sweating.
That's a wrap, y'all.
That's how she wrote, so makesure to click like subscribe.
Tune in we on the Austrianplatform.
So until next time.
Well, I got you.