November 30, 2020 • 37 mins
4 C’s to an ICONIC Mindset; How to Thrive in 2021 and Beyond
Episode #9
Without question 2020 has been an unforgettable year of challenges, unsuspected turns and sudden surprises. American Professor of mathematics at Temple University, John Allen Paulos said, “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” The fact is a lot of the things happening around us are outside of our control, but despite that you can maintain an ICONIC Mindset.
A person’s ability to thrive in times of uncertainty is how well they can shift their mindset, remain adaptable and flexible and learn how to apply some practical survival techniques. During this podcast episode, John and Calvin discuss the 4 C’s of an ICONIC Mindset. Listen and learn how you can apply these 4 C’s to your daily life and thrive during the upcoming 2021 year and beyond.
- 0:00:58 - Intro: 4 C's of an ICONIC Mindset
- 0:09:32 - Celebrate Innovation
- 0:15:37 - Commit to Curiosity
- 0:20:21 - Cultivate Connections
- 0:28:23 - Choose Optimism
- 0:35:23 - ICONIC Points
To learn more about John Avola and Calvin Stovall, visit iconicpresentations.net. All The ICONIC Mindset episodes can be downloaded at theiconicmindset.com. If you enjoyed listening to this episode, please subscribe to our show. Remember to select a star rating and/or write a review for The ICONIC Mindset podcast.
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- John Avola: @johnavola (Twitter) and LinkedIn
- Calvin Stovall: @ICONICspeaker (Twitter), Facebook and LinkedIn
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Don't just be, Be ICONIC!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Introduction (00:07):
Welcome to the iconic mindset podcast with John
Avola and Calvin Stovall.
This is the only place thatuncovers the multiple levels of
iconic businesses and brands.
Every episode reveals thesecrets behind what it takes to
make your business idea ormovement iconic.
(00:27):
Now, here are John and Calvin.
John Avola (00:35):
Calvin, how are you?
Calvin Stovall (00:37):
John, what's going on?
How are you?
John Avola (00:38):
Calvin, I'm doing great.
I'm excited to be here asalways.
Calvin Stovall (00:42):
I know we talked about this and what we really
want to do is try to bringpeople into 2021 with some tools
and practical things that theycan do to have a better 2021,
which we're all hoping for, andbeyond.
Today we're going to give youfour Cs.
We're going to talk about thefour Cs of an iconic mindset.
(01:04):
Really try to give people sometips on how they can thrive in
2021 and beyond.
That's what we're going to talkabout.
But before we get into that, Iwant to have a little fun,
right?
I've always got to throw in somekind of music thing, but I
thought this was pretty cool.
(01:24):
Actually I was looking onlineand@HashtagRoundup and
@MusicalHashtags asked people onTwitter to share songs that
described 2020.
And of course the responsespoured in and they were pretty
much spot on and I'm going toshare a few of them.
I'm going to give you my topthree, which was cool.
(01:48):
I'm not going to read them all.
The first one was Every Day isExactly the Same by Nine Inch
Nails, then From a Distance byBette Miller, and Dancing with
Myself by Billy Idol.
I Want to Break Free by Queen.
(02:11):
This was probably one of myfavorites.
I probably should have put thisin my top three.
Don't Stand So Close to Me bythe Police.
That was one of my favorites.
Then All By Myself by CelineDion.
This was one of my favoritestoo.
You Can't Touch This.
You can't touch anything!
John Avola (02:33):
And if you do, you need your anti-bacterial.
Calvin Stovall (02:36):
Yeah, exactly.
Another one is We've Got to GetOut of This Place by the
Animals.
If I Could Turn Back Time byCher.
John Avola (02:49):
That's going to make a comeback.
Calvin Stovall (02:51):
Don't Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty
and the Heartbreakers.
Now this is my favorite one.
I don't know if you remember agroup called the Commodores, but
they had a song called Zoom.
John Avola (03:09):
No.
Zoom before Zoom!
Calvin Stovall (03:15):
Yes.
So I just thought that waspretty fun.
And I thought those were somepretty cool songs to describe
this year, but what we want todo now is take you into the next
year and provide these four Cs.
Let's just start here.
An American professor ofmathematics at Temple
University, John Allen Paulos,said, and I know everybody will
(03:40):
relate to this,"uncertainty isthe only certainty there is.
And knowing how to live withinsecurity is the only
security." I think everyonethat's listening right now can
relate to that.
And we all have had to live withthis uncertainty.
What we really want to know i s,how do we start turning that
(04:03):
corner?
And I know we've all had topivot, make some changes in our
lives, and do some things likethat.
But what I was hoping you and Ic an do today, John, is o ffer
people some things that theymight want to focus on with
these four Cs, as they move pastthis holiday season and focus on
some things in the next year, toreally be successful and keep
(04:23):
pushing forward.
How does that sound?
John Avola (04:25):
Sounds great.
And I did just want to commentthere on your point on
uncertainty.
I think all of us living in sucha difficult time these days,
especially as the holidays aregetting close, we're all going
to be in different situations.
Some of us are more apart thanwe'd like to be at this time of
the year.
Regardless of what's happeningtoday, we've all dealt with
(04:45):
uncertainty in the past, whetherit's relationship uncertainty,
financial uncertainty, careeruncertainty.
And so what I've found is maybehelpful for our audience out
there, that if you think back toone of those times and reflect
on what you did well and whatyou didn't do well, that could
also help you get through thisuncertain time as we move
(05:06):
through the holidays and into2021.
Calvin Stovall (05:09):
I think we all had to make some changes and
start thinking about thingsdifferently.
I want to share a story withyou, John.
I have a lot of years in thehospitality industry, probably
25 or so.
Started my hospitality career atthe Chicago Holiday Inn City
Center in downtown Chicago as adesk clerk.
(05:30):
But I had made up my mind thatonce I became an executive in
this industry, in the C-suite, Iwas going to buy myself a car
and not just any car.
I wanted a BMW and I wanted ablack BMW with beautiful gray
(05:50):
interior.
But it had to be a stick shift.
So, I went through my career andeverything.
I was blessed to be able tobecome a vice president of brand
marketing for Homeless Suites byHilton.
So now is the time for me to goget this car.
I was living in Memphis,Tennessee, at the time, working
at the corporate office there.
And I went down to a BMWdealership called Roadshow.
(06:15):
It was Roadshow BMW.
And I met this guy, he was asalesman there, his name was Tom
Adair.
Tom, if you're listening tothis, I've got to share this
story.
It's one of the best.
And Tom, he was a greatsalesperson.
So he sits me down.
I give him the description ofwhat I was looking for.
He goes through the list and webuilt this car, this dream car
(06:38):
of mine.
And he said, well, Calvin, youcan watch the car being built
online.
Day after day, I was looking andwatching this car being built
and everything.
And a few weeks go by.
And one day he calls me.
He said, Calvin, your car isready.
John, I see the car.
It's absolutely beautiful.
(06:59):
Talk about the ultimate drivingmachine.
Thomas was standing there, hiseyes open.
He says, Calvin, here it is.
John Avola (07:06):
He opens the door for you.
Calvin Stovall (07:10):
He opens the driver's door.
I sit down.
He goes to the passenger side.
And you've got the new carsmell.
It's all wonderful.
And then he looks at me withthat salesman face, with that
smile, with those beautifulteeth.
And he says, Calvin, let's takeher for a ride.
Let me tell you something.
I'm excited.
(07:31):
But it was something that Ifailed to tell you, John.
And I didn't tell Tom either.
I had never driven a stick in myentire life.
I'm talking not one time.
Who does that right?
He cracked up laughing though.
(08:01):
We had a wonderful laugh and thething that was cool about it is,
of course, Tom taught me how toshift gears.
He spent about an hour or sowith me and taught me how to
shift gears and everything.
About a week or so later I wasdoing it pretty well.
So here's why I told you thatstory.
(08:22):
We're all faced with uncertaintybut there's nobody to teach you
how to shift gears.
There's nobody there that'sgoing to teach you how to shift
your mindset, shift gears, andhow to go on a different
direction or adjust or beflexible or whatever it is you
(08:44):
have to do.
So the first thing I want totalk about is first you've got
to change your mindset and shiftyour gears to be able to move
into this new year.
Because if you're still thinking2020, 2019, 2018, it's not going
to fit.
John Avola (08:59):
Before we jump in here today, let's just quickly
go over the four Cs of an iconicmindset.
So the first one, we've gotcelebrate innovation.
The second, we'll talk aboutcommitting to curiosity.
We'll touch on being motivated,trying something new.
Third is cultivate connections.
(09:20):
Let's touch a little bit more onthe importance of networking,
talking to new people.
And then lastly, we're going toclose with choosing optimism and
keeping that positive mindset aswe move forward into 2021.
Calvin Stovall (09:32):
Let's talk about celebrating innovation first.
Do you know someone who has tosit in the same particular seat
when they attend a meeting orwhen they're at church?
They always have to have thesame parking spot.
And if somebody is in theirspot, they get all messed up
about it.
The thing is, our brains craveroutine.
(09:55):
But doing the same song anddance every day of your life
doesn't lead to any growth ormaximum performance.
So we're talking about celebrateinnovation.
I want to talk about getting outof your comfort zone from time
to time, and that's going toalter your brain's tolerance to
change for the better.
You have to shake things upevery now and then, and then
(10:16):
it's going to show your brainthat there's nothing to fear,
that you're going to be fine onthe other side of stress or the
stuff that's been going on.
But you have to get comfortablewith being uncomfortable.
It can be easy to fall into aroutine and get comfortable with
the way things are, John.
If your life and your work aregood, why change them and risk
(10:37):
getting things worse.
I believe that pushing yourselfto expand your horizons to get a
little better each day is goingto be central to your growth in
dealing with 2021.
Then it can also fostercreativity too.
I think we've all had to becreative this year, but it makes
(10:57):
it easier for you to be moreflexible when unexpected things
can happen to you in the future.
Learning new things throughoutyour life also contributes to
happiness.
Remember, it's really when youfeel comfortable that you should
be fearful because it's a signthat you're not stepping out far
enough, out of your comfortzone, to take steps that will
(11:17):
help you rise and thrive.
Teach yourself.
As I mentioned before, you'vegot to teach yourself to be
comfortable with ambiguity andthe unknown.
And I know that's hard.
John Avola (11:25):
What if you were to teach yourself to unlearn?
Unlearn or reduce the desire tobe perfect.
Don't let fear of uncertaintykeep you from accomplishing your
goals.
Calvin Stovall (11:38):
I love to talk about fear.
Because that's really what keepsus from stepping out of our
comfort zone in most cases.
What is it?
False evidence appearing real.
That's the definition I like touse because it appears real,
even though it may have no realsubstance, but fear arises when
we feel threatened orundermined, which makes us cling
(12:00):
to the known and familiar.
Fear creates paranoia, worry,nervous disorders, and
apprehension.
Most of us won't take a stepinto the unknown or outside of
our comfort zone because of thepossibility of failure.
That's it.
When you hear, come step out ofyour comfort zone, some people
(12:21):
get afraid.
I mean, we're not asking you tojump out of a plane or do
something crazy.
It's just really making smallchanges in your life to do
things that you've never donebefore.
And just take a little leap offaith.
That's the kind of mindset thatyou want to have.
Just do some things a little bitdifferently and try to just step
out.
(12:42):
But here's the thing.
Often it's easier to take thesteps to break outside of your
comfort zone because it is hardfor some people to do this, when
you have a mentor or a supportteam.
Get somebody to help you.
If you know someone who can helpyou and encourage you along the
way, they can make these changesseem less daunting for you.
(13:03):
So in 2021, get somebody thatcan help you do some things
different.
They can also introduce you tothings that you would never have
thought of on your own anyway.
And having someone to mentor,they'll hold you accountable and
keep you from slipping back intoyour comfort zone.
John Avola (13:20):
Yes.
That's why we've got each other,Calvin.
As you said, it's a littledaunting, right?
You get very comfortable withwhere you are and then going
into an uncertain environment orstepping out of that comfort
zone, it is a risky move.
And so as we plan for 2021, I'vegot a few tips that would help
(13:41):
our audience be a little bitmore adaptable to that new
environment which they'repursuing.
The first tip is planning forthe moment.
So instead of planning from A toZ, plan from A to B.
After all, by the time we get toB, things have most likely
already changed given thecurrent environment we're in
anyway.
Which leads to the second point,which is taking it one step at a
(14:02):
time.
Focus on the small, simplesteps.
Ask yourself, what is thesimplest action I can take to
progress forward toward reachingmy goal.
Third is keeping that positiveuncertainty perspective.
We'll touch on positivity andoptimism toward the end of the
podcast today.
But as a step to overcomestepping out of your comfort
(14:25):
zone, keeping that uncertainty,but a positive uncertainty
perspective, helps you byaccepting what the world
currently isaccepting--uncertainty, being
comfortable with uncertainty,and providing yourself more
confidence in your ability toadapt.
And then lastly is examine yourown thinking.
Why do we believe what webelieve.
(14:45):
Most of our preconceived notionsabout ourselves are negative.
Step out of that.
Get of that mindset.
Get out of the negativity.
The assumptions that we haveabout ourselves just need to be
unpacked.
And we need to look for gaps inour logic until we find the
fear-based beliefs that aredriving our thinking and we
change them and we get rid ofthem and we move on.
(15:08):
And then lastly, I know I said Ihad one more, but I also can't
stop here without practicinggratitude, thanking others, the
mentors that you've reached outto, the friends, the family.
It's the smallest thing you cando.
And it's the biggest thing thatyou can receive back.
Calvin Stovall (15:23):
That's right.
Celebrate innovation, do thingsdifferently.
Step out of your comfort zone,out of the things you talked
about, but you can't be afraidto make a mistake or afraid to
fail.
So in 2021, step out.
We are going to move on to thenext C, commit to curiosity.
John Avola (15:40):
Commit to curiosity.
Try something new and bemotivated.
Calvin Stovall (15:44):
That's right.
Stay curious.
Always remain curious andteachable.
One of the best ways to betterprepare for 2021 is approach
whatever it is you're doing witha curiosity mindset, completely
open to new ideas andsuggestions.
Because truthfully, it doesn'tmatter how long we've been doing
something, we really don't knoweverything.
(16:06):
We just don't.
All of us can use a checkup fromthe neck up every now and then.
John Avola (16:10):
That's right.
Mental health check.
But you're so right aboutmindset.
Mindset is what prevents us frombuilding or moving forward or
taking that step out as you justreferenced.
It's the mindset.
You've got to change yourmindset to be curious and want
to learn more.
Calvin Stovall (16:30):
You don't have to have all the answers, but you
know, what's funny about us asleaders, John, sometimes we feel
like we have to have all theright answers.
But that's not the case.
You don't have to be allknowing, but what you do need to
(16:51):
be is curious.
Albert Einstein's famous wordsare, I have no special talent.
I am only passionately curious.
So leaders, you don't need toknow everything.
In fact, it's probablyimpossible anyway.
The ability to know what to dowhen you don't know what to do
is only possible throughcuriosity.
(17:13):
But the prerequisite to that isyou have to have humility.
Effective leaders have to haveboth.
So you have to be curious, butyou also have to be humble
enough to know that you can'tknow everything and that you're
going to ask and seek out otherpeople's opinions.
That's what's going to be greatfor you in 2021 and beyond.
John Avola (17:31):
That's such a strong skill to focus on, Calvin, as we
move to 2021, is humility.
It's one of those leadershipstyles that at one point, maybe
say more pre-COVID, was notlooked upon as highly as it
currently is today.
But having the ability to justsay you don't know, or to be
(17:51):
curious to find out or to asksomeone regardless of their
level in the organization, tohelp you through a particular
problem or challenge, that'swhere it's at.
It's humility and being thatservant leader.
Calvin Stovall (18:04):
That's right.
Curiosity is a super power foranyone.
Everybody has that superpower,but it's particularly for those
facing a condition of stress orambiguity.
Curiosity is the perfectcounterweight to fear and
anxiety.
You learn to focus on thepositives of any situation, but
(18:26):
you've just got to ask thequestions.
Ask early and often.
Keep an open mind and do notstop questioning and learning.
Look forward, open new doors,and experience new things, and
just have a genuine thirst forknowledge and understanding.
Am I making sense?
John Avola (18:41):
It actually gave me an idea.
I'm going to call it the ABCs of2021.
Always be curious.
I'm listening to you and I'munderstanding.
I said, you know what?
2021.
Always be curious.
(19:01):
That should be everyone's goal.
ABC.
Calvin Stovall (19:05):
I like that a lot.
That's a good and an easy way toremember it too.
So to sum this section up, John,I have some points to just throw
out there.
Apply a beginner's mindset or acuriosity mindset.
Be open to look for new andnovel ways of doing things.
(19:25):
Number two, ask questions.
Listen and observe.
Seek first to understand, not toexplain.
Try something new.
And again, I talked aboutstepping out of your comfort
zone a little bit earlier and itdoesn't have to be anything big.
You never know what you're goingto find out.
It's being inquisitive.
Ask others their opinions, theirperspectives, and their
(19:46):
approaches to certain things.
Everyone does things a bitdifferently.
And there are potential newanswers and solutions to
problems hidden in otherpeople's thinking.
I believe that is a hundredpercent true.
And as I've asked people moreand more questions about things
that I'm dealing with orwhatever, they come up with a
solution that I may have neverthought about.
(20:06):
So you have to be open to that.
That's where that humblenesscomes from.
You've got to be willing toshare.
So that's the second C.
We have celebrate innovation.
We have commit to curiosity orconstant curiosity, however you
want to position it.
The third one, I want to justencourage you to surround
yourself with people that thinkdifferently.
(20:28):
I think you will agree, John, wereally as human beings like to
surround ourselves with peoplethat are like us because it's
comfortable.
And they think like us, wereraised like us, etc.
The kids were raised like theirkids.
However, if you want to be thebest you or better prepare
yourself for the future andachieve maximum potential and
(20:51):
accomplish the things that younever have accomplished before,
you must surround yourself withsmart people who see the world
differently than you do.
John Avola (21:01):
Well said.
You could even touch ondiversity and inclusion a little
bit here, right?
Taking that time to understanddifferent cultures, different
religions, getting out of yourcomfort zone as we talked about,
but opening your perspective,getting rid of some of that
unconscious bias that you'vegrown up to know and you don't
even realize you have it.
Calvin Stovall (21:22):
Yes.
We all have unconscious biases.
I want to touch on that for asecond.
And I have a story.
I'm going to be prettytransparent here in that you
just brought something to mind,because sometimes we think we
don't have unconscious bias, butwe do.
I did a fast track managementprogram.
And actually I came to Charlottefor four months and worked at an
Embassy Suites.
(21:42):
After that, they told me, wewant to send you to Memphis,
Tennessee, to work as anassistant general manager at a
corporate owned Embassy Suitesin Memphis.
I'm from Chicago.
And my unconscious bias kickedin immediately.
Like I'm not going down south.
(22:06):
Those people, they're not goingto be as fast paced as us.
I'm just being honest.
And the thing is that we allhave those unconscious biases,
because I was like, I don't wantto go down there.
I had the image in my head.
It was slow.
The pace wasn't as fast as I wasused to.
(22:26):
So all of those things crept up,but of course, I went down to
Memphis and it wasn't the caseat all.
I had to do some adjustments,but that's just a perfect
example of how you can haveunconscious biases and not
realize it.
Cause we all say"those people,"they're not like us, but if you
(22:49):
want to thrive and besuccessful, going into this next
year and beyond, you have tostart thinking about surrounding
yourself with people that aren'tlike you.
The main problem with thatmindset is that there is no
really growth for you at all.
By surrounding yourself withideas and perspectives you are
already familiar with, you arenot actually able to challenge
(23:11):
yourself and improve and grow inthose senses.
Bottom line.
John Avola (23:15):
Absolutely.
And if you don't take your owninitiative to step out and to
surround yourself with peoplethat are not like you, you never
will.
You'll be surrounded by the samepeople all the time.
Let's say you're on social mediaor Facebook.
I've watched The Social Dilemma.
It's a Netflix documentary.
I got one point out of it.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,you name the social channel, the
(23:39):
content that you're seeing isrelative to the beliefs in the
individuals that you associateyourself with.
So a great example is, look atthe election.
If you are an avid Republican,you're only receiving Republican
content.
If you're an avid Democrat,you're only receiving Democratic
information and it'sbrainwashing you because you're
(24:02):
not being able to see the otherside because that's not showing
up in your stream.
You're seeing all your friendswho support either candidate and
their comments, and you're notseeing anything else.
And you're not seeing any otherperspectives.
And you're unconsciously beingput into this mindset that what
you believe is right.
And because what you believe isright, all your friends do too.
(24:24):
But the reality is Facebook isonly showing you what you want
to see.
Calvin Stovall (24:27):
So what are we saying?
Talk to someone who has adifferent type of childhood than
you.
Talk to someone who has lived orstudied abroad.
Talk to someone older or youngerthan you.
I think in the workplace rightnow, we have five different
generations.
If you are a Boomer, go talk toa Millennial.
Find out some stuff about howthey do things differently.
When you meet these people,please avoid the small talk,
(24:51):
like how's the weather orwhatever.
No.
I want to urge you to digdeeper.
Ask them about their lifeexperiences and what wisdom they
have to offer.
And when you open your mind andyou challenge yourself to know
more about the world and thepeople around you, I promise
you, you will grow exponentiallyand you will have a much more
fulfilled life.
John Avola (25:10):
A couple more points, Calvin, on that.
I came across three behaviorsthat are holding us back.
I want to address those threebehaviors and then offer a
solution on how to overcome thatparticular behavior.
They're quick.
There's three of them.
The first one is completelyrelevant to our conversation
today and that's your mindset.
(25:30):
Your mindset is holding youback.
The first thing that prevents usfrom building a strategic
network or network of people ora new community is our mindset
that the network isself-serving.
And that we believe that anyattempt to establish
relationships is only for ourbenefit.
We are less inclined to pursuethose conversations.
(25:50):
However, a stronger network isactually built mutually
beneficial to all relationships.
Both parties benefit in the end.
And then in the process ofgetting to know someone, you
understand how you can add valueand help them just as they are
willing to help you.
The second behavior that'sholding us back from creating
(26:11):
better connections is limitingour network.
So our comfort level, as we'vejust been talking about, is with
the people we know and like.
Similar backgrounds, similarpoint of views.
But as we've talked and researchshows that this is a type of
closed network.
This limits our exposure topeople, and it limits our
ability to receive new ideas, aswell as share our own ideas with
(26:34):
new connections.
And then lastly is you're notbeing proactive.
The proactivity is holding youback and we tend to wait.
We wait to need help when we'reapplying for that job, or we
need assistance in a new idea.
And now we need help pushing theidea to the finish line.
We wait until we need, and thendiscover that we need that
(26:56):
social network.
We're not cultivating ournetwork as we go, but we're more
so taking advantage of it as weneed it.
The solution?
Don't wait.
Cultivate your network now, sowhen you need them, they are
there and ready to help you,just as you will be ready to
help them.
Calvin Stovall (27:15):
You know what, John, you have just hit the nail
on the head.
There is nothing worse than whenyou haven't talked to someone
for like five or 10 years, andthen they send you an email.
Hey, I'm looking for a job.
Can you please forward myresume?
Dude, I haven't heard from youin ages.
(27:42):
I think we all could do a betterjob of making sure we stay
connected with people that welove and things of that nature.
Like you said, it's not good toreach out to somebody after
you've not talked to them inyears.
It's so crazy, but it happensall the time.
Those are all great points.
(28:03):
And I hope people think aboutthat as they go on to the next
year.
Make sure you're cultivatingyour network, building it,
cultivating it and staying intouch with people.
Okay.
That was great.
So we have celebrate innovation,commit to constant curiosity,
cultivate connections.
Last one, one of my favorites,choose optimism.
(28:29):
I love the whole thing aboutoptimism.
And I think it's essential,particularly if you're leading a
team to celebrate yoursuccesses, all of them, the
small ones and the big ones, ifyou had some.
Then really making sure you'vegiven everybody hope for the
future.
I just think that's important.
And then people know that theymade it.
(28:50):
But as you mentioned before,we're capable of dreaming up a
lot of gloom and doom in ourheads.
I think you've mentioned thatbefore.
We're the worst architects ofour brains and we can do that.
And a lot of the time we expectthe worst and when people are
fearful about the future, theythink up, we, I'm going to say
(29:15):
me too, think of worst casescenarios that most of the time
don't even materialize.
As a leader, for your team orfor you, you have to know that
optimism is like a forcemultiplier.
And without it, organizationscan quickly fall into varying
(29:36):
states of paralysis and,consciously or not, become
overwhelmed by fear and anxiety.
And that's not what you want.
Grieving a past that no longerexists not only deters employees
from being able to access thefullness of their capabilities,
but also greatly diminishes theorganization's capability to
problem solve or imagine abrighter future, the only
(29:59):
antidote to which is a dose ofpragmatic optimism.
You want to be positive, youwant to be motivated, but you
also have to keep it real, asthey say.
John Avola (30:12):
You've got to keep it real.
It's not easy right now to staypositive.
I was going to say, let's getreal, right?
It's hard.
It's hard to be positive.
We're all dealing with theglobal pandemic.
As I've said before, same storm,different boats.
Everyone's got a uniquesituation.
And regardless of thatsituation, we all have the
(30:33):
ability to change ourperception, which goes back to
what you're saying.
Choose optimism.
I would focus on the word,choose.
It is your choice to beoptimistic just as much as it is
your choice to be pessimistic.
It's our thoughts.
It's the way we feel.
It's the things we do.
We've got to choose optimism.
(30:53):
It's the only way we're going toget through this individually
and together.
Calvin Stovall (30:58):
That's right.
And I talk a lot about theinputs, what we're putting
inside of us.
Things like the news, stuff thatyou're reading, all of the stuff
that you put inside, it controlsyour thoughts, that controls
your emotions, that controlsyour actions, that controls your
results.
So you have to be careful.
If you want to change yourresults, you change your inputs.
(31:20):
And I'm talking about peopletoo.
John, you've got to be carefulwho you surround yourself with
too.
You know what I'm talking about.
Some people are just negativeand they will bring you down,
down, down.
You have to be careful, not onlywhat you're looking at and
reading, but just your circle.
John Avola (31:38):
You've got to also be doing what's best for you in
this situation, right?
It's taking your life one day ata time.
Sometimes it's minute by minute.
And you've got to understand,too, that you're not alone.
There are days you feel likeyou're the only one struggling.
And that's simply not the case.
(31:58):
Take a moment to remembereveryone is also struggling.
You're not alone.
We said earlier, call a familymember, call a friend, do
something that will help youfeel more positive.
Calvin Stovall (32:10):
You've got to think of yourself as a human
magnet.
You constantly attract what youspeak, think, and feel.
If you think of problems, you'remost likely going to attract
problems.
If you think of solutions,you'll attract solutions.
Cultivate your thoughts.
Remain positive and optimistic.
We get what we think.
So think positive.
John Avola (32:31):
Yes.
Think positive.
And to add to that, think aboutwhat's going right.
Focus on what's happening inyour life that is going good.
It could be as small as theability to get out of bed or a
momentary pleasure, like a hotcup of coffee in the morning.
It's not easy, but instead offocusing on the elements that
(32:51):
are bringing you down, tryfocusing on what's going right
for you.
Calvin Stovall (32:55):
And I always tell people, you've made it.
You're making progress.
It may not look like it but youare.
Take a look back at some of theawesome things that you've
accomplished during these times.
Pat yourself on the back, giveyourself some credit.
We can be so hard on ourselvessometimes.
(33:18):
So don't let the stress and theworries of what's going on
outshine your passion.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Everything that you're doing ismaking a difference.
We can't always choose the musiclife plays for us, but we can
choose how we dance to it.
I want everybody to go into theholiday season and in 2021, with
these four Cs.
(33:38):
Focus on some things that youcan do, small things, and just
make things better for you to gointo the next year and beyond.
John Avola (33:45):
There's good happening all around us, all
around you.
It's up to you to see whatyou're looking for.
Calvin Stovall (33:50):
Regardless of who you are.
I don't care what role you havein your organization.
I don't care if you're a vicepresident, senior vice
president, or you're on thefront line, we're all going to
face uncertainties.
We're all going to run intohurdles and obstacles and
unexpected surprises that tripyou up.
You've got to remember, youcontrol how you react to those
(34:10):
things.
What do they say?
Life is 10% what happens to usand 90% how we react to it,
right?
Never lose the beat, right?
We always talk about that.
John Avola (34:19):
Never lose the beat.
And I want to add, never losethe beat, but also have faith.
And I'm not trying to get allreligious on you here, Calvin.
I'm referring to faith more asjust having faith in yourself
and your endless capacity towork toward being positive.
Believe in yourself, moveyourself forward.
There's a lot of good happeningin science, technology, and
(34:42):
there's a ton of opportunity toovercome those most difficult
obstacles and ensure our desirethat there is good and we're
living good lives.
And we have loved ones that wecare about and just have a
little faith during thisdifficult time as well.
It'll help move you forward.
Calvin Stovall (34:58):
That's right.
I like that, John.
That's okay.
You can get spiritual on me.
I like it.
All of these things, thecelebrate innovation, committing
to curiosity, cultivatingconnections, choosing optimism,
those four Cs, you want to adaptthose to your life.
And I believe that can help yoube successful in 2021, and
(35:20):
beyond.
John Avola (35:21):
Couldn't have summarized it any better.
Are you going to leave us withsome iconic points?
You're going to do something alittle different?
What are you thinking?
Calvin Stovall (35:27):
We've talked about all of these, so I just
want to run through quickly andyou can add on.
When we talk about celebratinginnovation, we talked about
stepping out of your comfortzone, right?
Not letting fear get in the wayof trying something different.
It doesn't have to be as big asjumping out of an airplane or
anything like that.
(35:48):
Just do some small things, somesmall things that you may not
have done in the past.
The next one, commit to constantcuriosity.
Just be curious.
ABC, always be curious.
One of the biggest things youwant to remember is, for you to
be able to do this successfully,you have to have humbleness.
You have to be willing to askthe questions.
(36:09):
You have to be willing to listenand act on people's suggestions.
That will help you.
Cultivate connections, be open.
Let other people into yourcircle, let other people outside
that are different from youinside of your bubble, because
we do put ourselves in bubbles.
Bust the bubble, let people in.
Pop it, pop the bubble, and letsome other people in.
(36:30):
Be open to have conversationswith people outside of your
circle of people that you'reused to having conversations
with.
Again, I think you mentioned thewhole thing with racial equality
and all of those things.
Now is the time you can talk topeople outside of your race,
because we're all trying to getbetter at that.
(36:50):
So this is the time.
2021, do that.
Outside of your generation, allof that, open it up.
And then last but not least, ofcourse, choose optimism(with a
dose of reality).
Stay positive, watch what youspeak, watch what you think,
watch what you feel.
Be careful of the people aroundyou and what your inputs are.
(37:13):
But remember, don't beatyourself up.
You've done great.
You're getting to the other sideof this thing.
Stay positive, stay focused andyou'll have a successful 2021
and beyond.
John Avola (37:25):
Excellent.
And as we always remind ourfolks, if you want to learn more
about Calvin or myself, you canvisit us at
iconicpresentations.net.
We've got the iconic framework.
We've actually done a fewupdates to the website.
So let us know what you think.
And until next time Calvin,don't just be, BeICONIC.
Welcome to the iconic mindset podcast with John
Avola and Calvin Stovall.
This is the only place thatuncovers the multiple levels of
iconic businesses and brands.
Every episode reveals thesecrets behind what it takes to
make your business idea ormovement iconic.
(00:27):
Now, here are John and Calvin.
John Avola (00:35):
Calvin, how are you?
Calvin Stovall (00:37):
John, what's going on?
How are you?
John Avola (00:38):
Calvin, I'm doing great.
I'm excited to be here asalways.
Calvin Stovall (00:42):
I know we talked about this and what we really
want to do is try to bringpeople into 2021 with some tools
and practical things that theycan do to have a better 2021,
which we're all hoping for, andbeyond.
Today we're going to give youfour Cs.
We're going to talk about thefour Cs of an iconic mindset.
(01:04):
Really try to give people sometips on how they can thrive in
2021 and beyond.
That's what we're going to talkabout.
But before we get into that, Iwant to have a little fun,
right?
I've always got to throw in somekind of music thing, but I
thought this was pretty cool.
(01:24):
Actually I was looking onlineand@HashtagRoundup and
@MusicalHashtags asked people onTwitter to share songs that
described 2020.
And of course the responsespoured in and they were pretty
much spot on and I'm going toshare a few of them.
I'm going to give you my topthree, which was cool.
(01:48):
I'm not going to read them all.
The first one was Every Day isExactly the Same by Nine Inch
Nails, then From a Distance byBette Miller, and Dancing with
Myself by Billy Idol.
I Want to Break Free by Queen.
(02:11):
This was probably one of myfavorites.
I probably should have put thisin my top three.
Don't Stand So Close to Me bythe Police.
That was one of my favorites.
Then All By Myself by CelineDion.
This was one of my favoritestoo.
You Can't Touch This.
You can't touch anything!
John Avola (02:33):
And if you do, you need your anti-bacterial.
Calvin Stovall (02:36):
Yeah, exactly.
Another one is We've Got to GetOut of This Place by the
Animals.
If I Could Turn Back Time byCher.
John Avola (02:49):
That's going to make a comeback.
Calvin Stovall (02:51):
Don't Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty
and the Heartbreakers.
Now this is my favorite one.
I don't know if you remember agroup called the Commodores, but
they had a song called Zoom.
John Avola (03:09):
No.
Zoom before Zoom!
Calvin Stovall (03:15):
Yes.
So I just thought that waspretty fun.
And I thought those were somepretty cool songs to describe
this year, but what we want todo now is take you into the next
year and provide these four Cs.
Let's just start here.
An American professor ofmathematics at Temple
University, John Allen Paulos,said, and I know everybody will
(03:40):
relate to this,"uncertainty isthe only certainty there is.
And knowing how to live withinsecurity is the only
security." I think everyonethat's listening right now can
relate to that.
And we all have had to live withthis uncertainty.
What we really want to know i s,how do we start turning that
(04:03):
corner?
And I know we've all had topivot, make some changes in our
lives, and do some things likethat.
But what I was hoping you and Ic an do today, John, is o ffer
people some things that theymight want to focus on with
these four Cs, as they move pastthis holiday season and focus on
some things in the next year, toreally be successful and keep
(04:23):
pushing forward.
How does that sound?
John Avola (04:25):
Sounds great.
And I did just want to commentthere on your point on
uncertainty.
I think all of us living in sucha difficult time these days,
especially as the holidays aregetting close, we're all going
to be in different situations.
Some of us are more apart thanwe'd like to be at this time of
the year.
Regardless of what's happeningtoday, we've all dealt with
(04:45):
uncertainty in the past, whetherit's relationship uncertainty,
financial uncertainty, careeruncertainty.
And so what I've found is maybehelpful for our audience out
there, that if you think back toone of those times and reflect
on what you did well and whatyou didn't do well, that could
also help you get through thisuncertain time as we move
(05:06):
through the holidays and into2021.
Calvin Stovall (05:09):
I think we all had to make some changes and
start thinking about thingsdifferently.
I want to share a story withyou, John.
I have a lot of years in thehospitality industry, probably
25 or so.
Started my hospitality career atthe Chicago Holiday Inn City
Center in downtown Chicago as adesk clerk.
(05:30):
But I had made up my mind thatonce I became an executive in
this industry, in the C-suite, Iwas going to buy myself a car
and not just any car.
I wanted a BMW and I wanted ablack BMW with beautiful gray
(05:50):
interior.
But it had to be a stick shift.
So, I went through my career andeverything.
I was blessed to be able tobecome a vice president of brand
marketing for Homeless Suites byHilton.
So now is the time for me to goget this car.
I was living in Memphis,Tennessee, at the time, working
at the corporate office there.
And I went down to a BMWdealership called Roadshow.
(06:15):
It was Roadshow BMW.
And I met this guy, he was asalesman there, his name was Tom
Adair.
Tom, if you're listening tothis, I've got to share this
story.
It's one of the best.
And Tom, he was a greatsalesperson.
So he sits me down.
I give him the description ofwhat I was looking for.
He goes through the list and webuilt this car, this dream car
(06:38):
of mine.
And he said, well, Calvin, youcan watch the car being built
online.
Day after day, I was looking andwatching this car being built
and everything.
And a few weeks go by.
And one day he calls me.
He said, Calvin, your car isready.
John, I see the car.
It's absolutely beautiful.
(06:59):
Talk about the ultimate drivingmachine.
Thomas was standing there, hiseyes open.
He says, Calvin, here it is.
John Avola (07:06):
He opens the door for you.
Calvin Stovall (07:10):
He opens the driver's door.
I sit down.
He goes to the passenger side.
And you've got the new carsmell.
It's all wonderful.
And then he looks at me withthat salesman face, with that
smile, with those beautifulteeth.
And he says, Calvin, let's takeher for a ride.
Let me tell you something.
I'm excited.
(07:31):
But it was something that Ifailed to tell you, John.
And I didn't tell Tom either.
I had never driven a stick in myentire life.
I'm talking not one time.
Who does that right?
He cracked up laughing though.
(08:01):
We had a wonderful laugh and thething that was cool about it is,
of course, Tom taught me how toshift gears.
He spent about an hour or sowith me and taught me how to
shift gears and everything.
About a week or so later I wasdoing it pretty well.
So here's why I told you thatstory.
(08:22):
We're all faced with uncertaintybut there's nobody to teach you
how to shift gears.
There's nobody there that'sgoing to teach you how to shift
your mindset, shift gears, andhow to go on a different
direction or adjust or beflexible or whatever it is you
(08:44):
have to do.
So the first thing I want totalk about is first you've got
to change your mindset and shiftyour gears to be able to move
into this new year.
Because if you're still thinking2020, 2019, 2018, it's not going
to fit.
John Avola (08:59):
Before we jump in here today, let's just quickly
go over the four Cs of an iconicmindset.
So the first one, we've gotcelebrate innovation.
The second, we'll talk aboutcommitting to curiosity.
We'll touch on being motivated,trying something new.
Third is cultivate connections.
(09:20):
Let's touch a little bit more onthe importance of networking,
talking to new people.
And then lastly, we're going toclose with choosing optimism and
keeping that positive mindset aswe move forward into 2021.
Calvin Stovall (09:32):
Let's talk about celebrating innovation first.
Do you know someone who has tosit in the same particular seat
when they attend a meeting orwhen they're at church?
They always have to have thesame parking spot.
And if somebody is in theirspot, they get all messed up
about it.
The thing is, our brains craveroutine.
(09:55):
But doing the same song anddance every day of your life
doesn't lead to any growth ormaximum performance.
So we're talking about celebrateinnovation.
I want to talk about getting outof your comfort zone from time
to time, and that's going toalter your brain's tolerance to
change for the better.
You have to shake things upevery now and then, and then
(10:16):
it's going to show your brainthat there's nothing to fear,
that you're going to be fine onthe other side of stress or the
stuff that's been going on.
But you have to get comfortablewith being uncomfortable.
It can be easy to fall into aroutine and get comfortable with
the way things are, John.
If your life and your work aregood, why change them and risk
(10:37):
getting things worse.
I believe that pushing yourselfto expand your horizons to get a
little better each day is goingto be central to your growth in
dealing with 2021.
Then it can also fostercreativity too.
I think we've all had to becreative this year, but it makes
(10:57):
it easier for you to be moreflexible when unexpected things
can happen to you in the future.
Learning new things throughoutyour life also contributes to
happiness.
Remember, it's really when youfeel comfortable that you should
be fearful because it's a signthat you're not stepping out far
enough, out of your comfortzone, to take steps that will
(11:17):
help you rise and thrive.
Teach yourself.
As I mentioned before, you'vegot to teach yourself to be
comfortable with ambiguity andthe unknown.
And I know that's hard.
John Avola (11:25):
What if you were to teach yourself to unlearn?
Unlearn or reduce the desire tobe perfect.
Don't let fear of uncertaintykeep you from accomplishing your
goals.
Calvin Stovall (11:38):
I love to talk about fear.
Because that's really what keepsus from stepping out of our
comfort zone in most cases.
What is it?
False evidence appearing real.
That's the definition I like touse because it appears real,
even though it may have no realsubstance, but fear arises when
we feel threatened orundermined, which makes us cling
(12:00):
to the known and familiar.
Fear creates paranoia, worry,nervous disorders, and
apprehension.
Most of us won't take a stepinto the unknown or outside of
our comfort zone because of thepossibility of failure.
That's it.
When you hear, come step out ofyour comfort zone, some people
(12:21):
get afraid.
I mean, we're not asking you tojump out of a plane or do
something crazy.
It's just really making smallchanges in your life to do
things that you've never donebefore.
And just take a little leap offaith.
That's the kind of mindset thatyou want to have.
Just do some things a little bitdifferently and try to just step
out.
(12:42):
But here's the thing.
Often it's easier to take thesteps to break outside of your
comfort zone because it is hardfor some people to do this, when
you have a mentor or a supportteam.
Get somebody to help you.
If you know someone who can helpyou and encourage you along the
way, they can make these changesseem less daunting for you.
(13:03):
So in 2021, get somebody thatcan help you do some things
different.
They can also introduce you tothings that you would never have
thought of on your own anyway.
And having someone to mentor,they'll hold you accountable and
keep you from slipping back intoyour comfort zone.
John Avola (13:20):
Yes.
That's why we've got each other,Calvin.
As you said, it's a littledaunting, right?
You get very comfortable withwhere you are and then going
into an uncertain environment orstepping out of that comfort
zone, it is a risky move.
And so as we plan for 2021, I'vegot a few tips that would help
(13:41):
our audience be a little bitmore adaptable to that new
environment which they'repursuing.
The first tip is planning forthe moment.
So instead of planning from A toZ, plan from A to B.
After all, by the time we get toB, things have most likely
already changed given thecurrent environment we're in
anyway.
Which leads to the second point,which is taking it one step at a
(14:02):
time.
Focus on the small, simplesteps.
Ask yourself, what is thesimplest action I can take to
progress forward toward reachingmy goal.
Third is keeping that positiveuncertainty perspective.
We'll touch on positivity andoptimism toward the end of the
podcast today.
But as a step to overcomestepping out of your comfort
(14:25):
zone, keeping that uncertainty,but a positive uncertainty
perspective, helps you byaccepting what the world
currently isaccepting--uncertainty, being
comfortable with uncertainty,and providing yourself more
confidence in your ability toadapt.
And then lastly is examine yourown thinking.
Why do we believe what webelieve.
(14:45):
Most of our preconceived notionsabout ourselves are negative.
Step out of that.
Get of that mindset.
Get out of the negativity.
The assumptions that we haveabout ourselves just need to be
unpacked.
And we need to look for gaps inour logic until we find the
fear-based beliefs that aredriving our thinking and we
change them and we get rid ofthem and we move on.
(15:08):
And then lastly, I know I said Ihad one more, but I also can't
stop here without practicinggratitude, thanking others, the
mentors that you've reached outto, the friends, the family.
It's the smallest thing you cando.
And it's the biggest thing thatyou can receive back.
Calvin Stovall (15:23):
That's right.
Celebrate innovation, do thingsdifferently.
Step out of your comfort zone,out of the things you talked
about, but you can't be afraidto make a mistake or afraid to
fail.
So in 2021, step out.
We are going to move on to thenext C, commit to curiosity.
John Avola (15:40):
Commit to curiosity.
Try something new and bemotivated.
Calvin Stovall (15:44):
That's right.
Stay curious.
Always remain curious andteachable.
One of the best ways to betterprepare for 2021 is approach
whatever it is you're doing witha curiosity mindset, completely
open to new ideas andsuggestions.
Because truthfully, it doesn'tmatter how long we've been doing
something, we really don't knoweverything.
(16:06):
We just don't.
All of us can use a checkup fromthe neck up every now and then.
John Avola (16:10):
That's right.
Mental health check.
But you're so right aboutmindset.
Mindset is what prevents us frombuilding or moving forward or
taking that step out as you justreferenced.
It's the mindset.
You've got to change yourmindset to be curious and want
to learn more.
Calvin Stovall (16:30):
You don't have to have all the answers, but you
know, what's funny about us asleaders, John, sometimes we feel
like we have to have all theright answers.
But that's not the case.
You don't have to be allknowing, but what you do need to
(16:51):
be is curious.
Albert Einstein's famous wordsare, I have no special talent.
I am only passionately curious.
So leaders, you don't need toknow everything.
In fact, it's probablyimpossible anyway.
The ability to know what to dowhen you don't know what to do
is only possible throughcuriosity.
(17:13):
But the prerequisite to that isyou have to have humility.
Effective leaders have to haveboth.
So you have to be curious, butyou also have to be humble
enough to know that you can'tknow everything and that you're
going to ask and seek out otherpeople's opinions.
That's what's going to be greatfor you in 2021 and beyond.
John Avola (17:31):
That's such a strong skill to focus on, Calvin, as we
move to 2021, is humility.
It's one of those leadershipstyles that at one point, maybe
say more pre-COVID, was notlooked upon as highly as it
currently is today.
But having the ability to justsay you don't know, or to be
(17:51):
curious to find out or to asksomeone regardless of their
level in the organization, tohelp you through a particular
problem or challenge, that'swhere it's at.
It's humility and being thatservant leader.
Calvin Stovall (18:04):
That's right.
Curiosity is a super power foranyone.
Everybody has that superpower,but it's particularly for those
facing a condition of stress orambiguity.
Curiosity is the perfectcounterweight to fear and
anxiety.
You learn to focus on thepositives of any situation, but
(18:26):
you've just got to ask thequestions.
Ask early and often.
Keep an open mind and do notstop questioning and learning.
Look forward, open new doors,and experience new things, and
just have a genuine thirst forknowledge and understanding.
Am I making sense?
John Avola (18:41):
It actually gave me an idea.
I'm going to call it the ABCs of2021.
Always be curious.
I'm listening to you and I'munderstanding.
I said, you know what?
2021.
Always be curious.
(19:01):
That should be everyone's goal.
ABC.
Calvin Stovall (19:05):
I like that a lot.
That's a good and an easy way toremember it too.
So to sum this section up, John,I have some points to just throw
out there.
Apply a beginner's mindset or acuriosity mindset.
Be open to look for new andnovel ways of doing things.
(19:25):
Number two, ask questions.
Listen and observe.
Seek first to understand, not toexplain.
Try something new.
And again, I talked aboutstepping out of your comfort
zone a little bit earlier and itdoesn't have to be anything big.
You never know what you're goingto find out.
It's being inquisitive.
Ask others their opinions, theirperspectives, and their
(19:46):
approaches to certain things.
Everyone does things a bitdifferently.
And there are potential newanswers and solutions to
problems hidden in otherpeople's thinking.
I believe that is a hundredpercent true.
And as I've asked people moreand more questions about things
that I'm dealing with orwhatever, they come up with a
solution that I may have neverthought about.
(20:06):
So you have to be open to that.
That's where that humblenesscomes from.
You've got to be willing toshare.
So that's the second C.
We have celebrate innovation.
We have commit to curiosity orconstant curiosity, however you
want to position it.
The third one, I want to justencourage you to surround
yourself with people that thinkdifferently.
(20:28):
I think you will agree, John, wereally as human beings like to
surround ourselves with peoplethat are like us because it's
comfortable.
And they think like us, wereraised like us, etc.
The kids were raised like theirkids.
However, if you want to be thebest you or better prepare
yourself for the future andachieve maximum potential and
(20:51):
accomplish the things that younever have accomplished before,
you must surround yourself withsmart people who see the world
differently than you do.
John Avola (21:01):
Well said.
You could even touch ondiversity and inclusion a little
bit here, right?
Taking that time to understanddifferent cultures, different
religions, getting out of yourcomfort zone as we talked about,
but opening your perspective,getting rid of some of that
unconscious bias that you'vegrown up to know and you don't
even realize you have it.
Calvin Stovall (21:22):
Yes.
We all have unconscious biases.
I want to touch on that for asecond.
And I have a story.
I'm going to be prettytransparent here in that you
just brought something to mind,because sometimes we think we
don't have unconscious bias, butwe do.
I did a fast track managementprogram.
And actually I came to Charlottefor four months and worked at an
Embassy Suites.
(21:42):
After that, they told me, wewant to send you to Memphis,
Tennessee, to work as anassistant general manager at a
corporate owned Embassy Suitesin Memphis.
I'm from Chicago.
And my unconscious bias kickedin immediately.
Like I'm not going down south.
(22:06):
Those people, they're not goingto be as fast paced as us.
I'm just being honest.
And the thing is that we allhave those unconscious biases,
because I was like, I don't wantto go down there.
I had the image in my head.
It was slow.
The pace wasn't as fast as I wasused to.
(22:26):
So all of those things crept up,but of course, I went down to
Memphis and it wasn't the caseat all.
I had to do some adjustments,but that's just a perfect
example of how you can haveunconscious biases and not
realize it.
Cause we all say"those people,"they're not like us, but if you
(22:49):
want to thrive and besuccessful, going into this next
year and beyond, you have tostart thinking about surrounding
yourself with people that aren'tlike you.
The main problem with thatmindset is that there is no
really growth for you at all.
By surrounding yourself withideas and perspectives you are
already familiar with, you arenot actually able to challenge
(23:11):
yourself and improve and grow inthose senses.
Bottom line.
John Avola (23:15):
Absolutely.
And if you don't take your owninitiative to step out and to
surround yourself with peoplethat are not like you, you never
will.
You'll be surrounded by the samepeople all the time.
Let's say you're on social mediaor Facebook.
I've watched The Social Dilemma.
It's a Netflix documentary.
I got one point out of it.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,you name the social channel, the
(23:39):
content that you're seeing isrelative to the beliefs in the
individuals that you associateyourself with.
So a great example is, look atthe election.
If you are an avid Republican,you're only receiving Republican
content.
If you're an avid Democrat,you're only receiving Democratic
information and it'sbrainwashing you because you're
(24:02):
not being able to see the otherside because that's not showing
up in your stream.
You're seeing all your friendswho support either candidate and
their comments, and you're notseeing anything else.
And you're not seeing any otherperspectives.
And you're unconsciously beingput into this mindset that what
you believe is right.
And because what you believe isright, all your friends do too.
(24:24):
But the reality is Facebook isonly showing you what you want
to see.
Calvin Stovall (24:27):
So what are we saying?
Talk to someone who has adifferent type of childhood than
you.
Talk to someone who has lived orstudied abroad.
Talk to someone older or youngerthan you.
I think in the workplace rightnow, we have five different
generations.
If you are a Boomer, go talk toa Millennial.
Find out some stuff about howthey do things differently.
When you meet these people,please avoid the small talk,
(24:51):
like how's the weather orwhatever.
No.
I want to urge you to digdeeper.
Ask them about their lifeexperiences and what wisdom they
have to offer.
And when you open your mind andyou challenge yourself to know
more about the world and thepeople around you, I promise
you, you will grow exponentiallyand you will have a much more
fulfilled life.
John Avola (25:10):
A couple more points, Calvin, on that.
I came across three behaviorsthat are holding us back.
I want to address those threebehaviors and then offer a
solution on how to overcome thatparticular behavior.
They're quick.
There's three of them.
The first one is completelyrelevant to our conversation
today and that's your mindset.
(25:30):
Your mindset is holding youback.
The first thing that prevents usfrom building a strategic
network or network of people ora new community is our mindset
that the network isself-serving.
And that we believe that anyattempt to establish
relationships is only for ourbenefit.
We are less inclined to pursuethose conversations.
(25:50):
However, a stronger network isactually built mutually
beneficial to all relationships.
Both parties benefit in the end.
And then in the process ofgetting to know someone, you
understand how you can add valueand help them just as they are
willing to help you.
The second behavior that'sholding us back from creating
(26:11):
better connections is limitingour network.
So our comfort level, as we'vejust been talking about, is with
the people we know and like.
Similar backgrounds, similarpoint of views.
But as we've talked and researchshows that this is a type of
closed network.
This limits our exposure topeople, and it limits our
ability to receive new ideas, aswell as share our own ideas with
(26:34):
new connections.
And then lastly is you're notbeing proactive.
The proactivity is holding youback and we tend to wait.
We wait to need help when we'reapplying for that job, or we
need assistance in a new idea.
And now we need help pushing theidea to the finish line.
We wait until we need, and thendiscover that we need that
(26:56):
social network.
We're not cultivating ournetwork as we go, but we're more
so taking advantage of it as weneed it.
The solution?
Don't wait.
Cultivate your network now, sowhen you need them, they are
there and ready to help you,just as you will be ready to
help them.
Calvin Stovall (27:15):
You know what, John, you have just hit the nail
on the head.
There is nothing worse than whenyou haven't talked to someone
for like five or 10 years, andthen they send you an email.
Hey, I'm looking for a job.
Can you please forward myresume?
Dude, I haven't heard from youin ages.
(27:42):
I think we all could do a betterjob of making sure we stay
connected with people that welove and things of that nature.
Like you said, it's not good toreach out to somebody after
you've not talked to them inyears.
It's so crazy, but it happensall the time.
Those are all great points.
(28:03):
And I hope people think aboutthat as they go on to the next
year.
Make sure you're cultivatingyour network, building it,
cultivating it and staying intouch with people.
Okay.
That was great.
So we have celebrate innovation,commit to constant curiosity,
cultivate connections.
Last one, one of my favorites,choose optimism.
(28:29):
I love the whole thing aboutoptimism.
And I think it's essential,particularly if you're leading a
team to celebrate yoursuccesses, all of them, the
small ones and the big ones, ifyou had some.
Then really making sure you'vegiven everybody hope for the
future.
I just think that's important.
And then people know that theymade it.
(28:50):
But as you mentioned before,we're capable of dreaming up a
lot of gloom and doom in ourheads.
I think you've mentioned thatbefore.
We're the worst architects ofour brains and we can do that.
And a lot of the time we expectthe worst and when people are
fearful about the future, theythink up, we, I'm going to say
(29:15):
me too, think of worst casescenarios that most of the time
don't even materialize.
As a leader, for your team orfor you, you have to know that
optimism is like a forcemultiplier.
And without it, organizationscan quickly fall into varying
(29:36):
states of paralysis and,consciously or not, become
overwhelmed by fear and anxiety.
And that's not what you want.
Grieving a past that no longerexists not only deters employees
from being able to access thefullness of their capabilities,
but also greatly diminishes theorganization's capability to
problem solve or imagine abrighter future, the only
(29:59):
antidote to which is a dose ofpragmatic optimism.
You want to be positive, youwant to be motivated, but you
also have to keep it real, asthey say.
John Avola (30:12):
You've got to keep it real.
It's not easy right now to staypositive.
I was going to say, let's getreal, right?
It's hard.
It's hard to be positive.
We're all dealing with theglobal pandemic.
As I've said before, same storm,different boats.
Everyone's got a uniquesituation.
And regardless of thatsituation, we all have the
(30:33):
ability to change ourperception, which goes back to
what you're saying.
Choose optimism.
I would focus on the word,choose.
It is your choice to beoptimistic just as much as it is
your choice to be pessimistic.
It's our thoughts.
It's the way we feel.
It's the things we do.
We've got to choose optimism.
(30:53):
It's the only way we're going toget through this individually
and together.
Calvin Stovall (30:58):
That's right.
And I talk a lot about theinputs, what we're putting
inside of us.
Things like the news, stuff thatyou're reading, all of the stuff
that you put inside, it controlsyour thoughts, that controls
your emotions, that controlsyour actions, that controls your
results.
So you have to be careful.
If you want to change yourresults, you change your inputs.
(31:20):
And I'm talking about peopletoo.
John, you've got to be carefulwho you surround yourself with
too.
You know what I'm talking about.
Some people are just negativeand they will bring you down,
down, down.
You have to be careful, not onlywhat you're looking at and
reading, but just your circle.
John Avola (31:38):
You've got to also be doing what's best for you in
this situation, right?
It's taking your life one day ata time.
Sometimes it's minute by minute.
And you've got to understand,too, that you're not alone.
There are days you feel likeyou're the only one struggling.
And that's simply not the case.
(31:58):
Take a moment to remembereveryone is also struggling.
You're not alone.
We said earlier, call a familymember, call a friend, do
something that will help youfeel more positive.
Calvin Stovall (32:10):
You've got to think of yourself as a human
magnet.
You constantly attract what youspeak, think, and feel.
If you think of problems, you'remost likely going to attract
problems.
If you think of solutions,you'll attract solutions.
Cultivate your thoughts.
Remain positive and optimistic.
We get what we think.
So think positive.
John Avola (32:31):
Yes.
Think positive.
And to add to that, think aboutwhat's going right.
Focus on what's happening inyour life that is going good.
It could be as small as theability to get out of bed or a
momentary pleasure, like a hotcup of coffee in the morning.
It's not easy, but instead offocusing on the elements that
(32:51):
are bringing you down, tryfocusing on what's going right
for you.
Calvin Stovall (32:55):
And I always tell people, you've made it.
You're making progress.
It may not look like it but youare.
Take a look back at some of theawesome things that you've
accomplished during these times.
Pat yourself on the back, giveyourself some credit.
We can be so hard on ourselvessometimes.
(33:18):
So don't let the stress and theworries of what's going on
outshine your passion.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Everything that you're doing ismaking a difference.
We can't always choose the musiclife plays for us, but we can
choose how we dance to it.
I want everybody to go into theholiday season and in 2021, with
these four Cs.
(33:38):
Focus on some things that youcan do, small things, and just
make things better for you to gointo the next year and beyond.
John Avola (33:45):
There's good happening all around us, all
around you.
It's up to you to see whatyou're looking for.
Calvin Stovall (33:50):
Regardless of who you are.
I don't care what role you havein your organization.
I don't care if you're a vicepresident, senior vice
president, or you're on thefront line, we're all going to
face uncertainties.
We're all going to run intohurdles and obstacles and
unexpected surprises that tripyou up.
You've got to remember, youcontrol how you react to those
(34:10):
things.
What do they say?
Life is 10% what happens to usand 90% how we react to it,
right?
Never lose the beat, right?
We always talk about that.
John Avola (34:19):
Never lose the beat.
And I want to add, never losethe beat, but also have faith.
And I'm not trying to get allreligious on you here, Calvin.
I'm referring to faith more asjust having faith in yourself
and your endless capacity towork toward being positive.
Believe in yourself, moveyourself forward.
There's a lot of good happeningin science, technology, and
(34:42):
there's a ton of opportunity toovercome those most difficult
obstacles and ensure our desirethat there is good and we're
living good lives.
And we have loved ones that wecare about and just have a
little faith during thisdifficult time as well.
It'll help move you forward.
Calvin Stovall (34:58):
That's right.
I like that, John.
That's okay.
You can get spiritual on me.
I like it.
All of these things, thecelebrate innovation, committing
to curiosity, cultivatingconnections, choosing optimism,
those four Cs, you want to adaptthose to your life.
And I believe that can help yoube successful in 2021, and
(35:20):
beyond.
John Avola (35:21):
Couldn't have summarized it any better.
Are you going to leave us withsome iconic points?
You're going to do something alittle different?
What are you thinking?
Calvin Stovall (35:27):
We've talked about all of these, so I just
want to run through quickly andyou can add on.
When we talk about celebratinginnovation, we talked about
stepping out of your comfortzone, right?
Not letting fear get in the wayof trying something different.
It doesn't have to be as big asjumping out of an airplane or
anything like that.
(35:48):
Just do some small things, somesmall things that you may not
have done in the past.
The next one, commit to constantcuriosity.
Just be curious.
ABC, always be curious.
One of the biggest things youwant to remember is, for you to
be able to do this successfully,you have to have humbleness.
You have to be willing to askthe questions.
(36:09):
You have to be willing to listenand act on people's suggestions.
That will help you.
Cultivate connections, be open.
Let other people into yourcircle, let other people outside
that are different from youinside of your bubble, because
we do put ourselves in bubbles.
Bust the bubble, let people in.
Pop it, pop the bubble, and letsome other people in.
(36:30):
Be open to have conversationswith people outside of your
circle of people that you'reused to having conversations
with.
Again, I think you mentioned thewhole thing with racial equality
and all of those things.
Now is the time you can talk topeople outside of your race,
because we're all trying to getbetter at that.
(36:50):
So this is the time.
2021, do that.
Outside of your generation, allof that, open it up.
And then last but not least, ofcourse, choose optimism(with a
dose of reality).
Stay positive, watch what youspeak, watch what you think,
watch what you feel.
Be careful of the people aroundyou and what your inputs are.
(37:13):
But remember, don't beatyourself up.
You've done great.
You're getting to the other sideof this thing.
Stay positive, stay focused andyou'll have a successful 2021
and beyond.
John Avola (37:25):
Excellent.
And as we always remind ourfolks, if you want to learn more
about Calvin or myself, you canvisit us at
iconicpresentations.net.
We've got the iconic framework.
We've actually done a fewupdates to the website.
So let us know what you think.
And until next time Calvin,don't just be, BeICONIC.
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