November 20, 2024 • 23 mins
Everyone can be and probably should be a lifelong learner; that practice can change the course of your life. I discuss how and why to do that in this episode with my guest, Eric Pfeiffer.
Eric is the founder and CEO of MPWR Coaching. Eric has been in the leadership development space for over 15 years, having helped build a multi-million-dollar coaching business and trained over 150 coaches worldwide.
Eric says becoming a lifelong learner didn’t start early enough in his career. In his twenties and even into his early thirties he felt pressure to know everything, to have arrived, to have achieved, and to have whatever knowledge base he needed to be successful. He constantly ran into roadblocks and to different challenges that kept reflecting to him “You don’t know everything.” There was a long season when every time some inadequacy was exposed in him through some deficiency, usually by other people, he would take that as an insult as somehow diminishing his value, disqualifying him from something better.
This eventually changed with help from mentors. One day a mentor said to Eric “You need to get over yourself! You’re going to spend the rest of your life becoming a better version of you. If you see every exposure of something you don’t know or don’t know how to do as some kind of diminishing of your value, you’re going to stay plateaued and stuck. Then what you’ll do is create a world around you where what you know and know how to do currently is the only thing that’s required. That means your success level and trajectory are diminished as well.”
Something Changed
He says he “flipped that script” and recognized that every time some deficiency in him was exposed he decided to celebrate it. He realized that he could be grateful and appreciative because it’s exposing a potential new growth opportunity. If he can embrace the positive perspective, he sees it as an opportunity instead of being an obstacle. Then what happens is every time something’s exposed as a deficiency he gets to experience another area to grow in. He could go on another journey of personal transformation and development.
As that became more and more the norm for his life Eric realized that his trajectory radically changed, and he found himself on this continual growth path.
How Does Becoming a Lifelong Learner Begin?
At first, it’s a choice, it’s a mindset shift to “flip the script” by realizing we can always choose how we interpret an experience. When we experience an area of life that we’ve fallen short in we’re either going to self-protect and project responsibility on everybody else or decide in that moment to choose to see those circumstances as opportunities for our own personal growth and development.
That is the starting point because until we have that mindset, until we can control our mindset about our failures and shortcomings then we will always see those as roadblocks rather than the opportunities that they really are. From there Eric believes that we have to learn some basic mechanisms to squeeze the learning out of our life experiences, whether they be positive or negative.
It’s all up to you!
We also dive into topics such as:
How to flip the script on internal dialogue/shift your mindset.
The importance of and how to practice self-awareness.
How to shift your mindset from my failure is an obstacle to it’s an opportunity.
How developing and adopting small habits leads to big success.
How to know what to take in and what to leave out.
Words for time: Chronos (sequential/stopwatch/calendar time) and Kairos.
How to recognize moments that are most relevant to you and embrace them.
What are brains are hardwired to do in our best moments.
How to maintain a life of lifelong learning and not just have it be a blip on your radar.
The ROI of being a lifelong learner versus just being a momentary learner.
How to create a paradigm shift from obstacle to opportunity.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the idea climbing podcast.
Everyone can be and probably should be a
lifelong learner. I discuss how and why to
do that in this episode with my guest,
Eric Pfeiffer.
Eric is the founder and CEO of Empower
Coaching.
Eric has been in the leadership development space
for 15 years, having helped build a multimillion
dollar coaching business and trained over 150 coaches
(00:23):
worldwide.
He founded Empower Coaching in 2019 to expand
his efforts to unlock leaders' potential
so they can grow their organizations and teams
in new never imagined ways. We dive into
topics such as the importance of and how
to practice self awareness,
the ROI of being a lifelong learner versus
just being a momentary learner, How to shift
(00:44):
your mindset from failure being an obstacle to
it being an opportunity
and more golden nuggets of advice. You're gonna
love this show.
Thank you for joining me for the idea
climbing podcast, Eric. I really appreciate you making
the time. Thank you, Mark, for having me.
I'm excited about our conversation.
(01:06):
And we're gonna talk about how to be
a lifelong learner. But before we get into
some strategies and tactics in that, as far
as being a lifelong learner,
when did that start for you? Why are
you so passionate about it? What's the story
there?
Well, Mark, it didn't start early enough, and
that's why I'm so passionate about it. I
think I think like a lot of people
(01:27):
in my younger years in my twenties and
maybe even to early thirties,
I I felt so much pressure to know,
to to have arrived, to have achieved,
to have acquired whatever knowledge base that I
needed to be successful,
and
constantly ran into so many roadblocks
and, into different challenges
(01:49):
that kept over and over and over reflecting
back to me. Like, hey, dude. You don't
know everything.
And there there was a a long season
there where I wasn't okay with that. So
every time,
something some inadequacy,
some lack of knowledge or know how
was exposed in me through some deficiency,
usually by other people. Right?
(02:11):
I would take that as an insult
as somehow diminishing my value, disqualifying
me from something better.
And it was actually through some really helpful
mentorship
that this mentor one day kinda just said
to me, like, hey, dude.
You need to get over yourself. Like, you're
gonna spend the rest of your life becoming
a better version of you.
(02:33):
And so if you if you see
every exposure of something you don't know or
don't know how to do
as some kind of diminishing of your value,
then you're you're going to stay plateaued and
stuck.
And then what you'll do is you'll create
a world around you where what you know
and know how to do currently,
(02:53):
is the only thing that's required, which means
then you that your success level or trajectory
is is diminished as well.
And so that flipping of that script and
to recognize that actually every time
some deficiency me is exposed, I should celebrate.
I should be grateful and appreciative because it's
exposing a potential new growth edge. And if
(03:15):
I could embrace
the positive perspective on that, the opportunity instead
of it being an obstacle, as I like
to say, Then what happens is every time
something's exposed as a deficiency, I get to
say, well, here's a new area I get
to grow in. And so I know in
my early years of marriage, in my early
years of parenting, in my early years of
leadership, building business, working with clients,
(03:36):
over and over again, I I was being
exposed in the to the degree that I
could embrace those as opportunities for increased growth,
then I could embrace the opportunity
to go on a journey,
personal transformation and development.
And as that became more and more the
norm for my life, I realized that my
trajectory
radically
(03:57):
changed.
Oh, yeah. I found myself on this continual
growth path.
So as far as that path goes, where
do you even get started with being a
lifelong learner? How does it begin? I mean,
for people watching and listening, if they're like
this I'm I'm getting what you said, but
where do where do I start?
That's a great question. Well, obviously, in in
our in our coaching business, we have, you
(04:17):
know, some very simple leadership tools that give
people the practical handles and how to flip
the script. The the first
starting point, if I just for your listeners,
if they just need something very quick,
it's literally it's a choice. It's a mindset
to flip the script that every time we
choose
how we interpret an experience. So every time
(04:38):
a deficiency, inadequacy,
some,
some area that we've fallen short is exposed
in our life, we're either gonna self protect,
defend, project responsibility onto everybody else.
Everybody else is the problem. Or
we can flip the script and, in that
moment, choose to see those as opportunities for
our own personal growth and development.
That is the starting point because until we
(04:59):
have that mindset shift, until we can flip
the script
on our failures or shortcomings,
then we will always see those as roadblocks
or obstacles
rather than the opportunities that they really are.
And then from there,
I would suggest we have to learn
some basic mechanisms
to actually squeeze the learning out of our
(05:19):
life experiences, whether they be positive or negative.
And so we talked earlier about the importance
of in the same way that our body
has this unbelievable ability to metabolize
the food that we eat. Right? We just
shove food in our mouth, and we're not
probably thinking too much. Well, nowadays, people think
about it, but you know what I mean?
We're consuming food
in the same way that we're consuming
(05:41):
life experiences
or even books, podcasts, all that stuff.
But what is our ability to metabolize
those experiences
so that we're able to extract the nutrients,
we're able to extract the energy, we're able
to
get rid of the toxins that might pass
through.
And so that's the second part of being
(06:01):
a lifelong one. The first is a mindset
shift Mhmm. From every failure being an obstacle
to it being an opportunity.
The second part of the journey is developing
the mechanisms, which you know, I wrote a
book recently called transform your trajectory that introduces
one of the core tools in our toolkit
that literally
is a lifelong learning tool
(06:21):
that helps us practice a growth mindset, you
know, a lot of these things we've heard
before,
but actually
gives us the ability to metabolize
the experiences
of our life so that we can be
on an upward trajectory.
So flipping the script, if I hear you
right, I think that could be tough because
of the internal dialogue that goes along with
(06:41):
setbacks or a stronger word failures.
How do you go about flipping the script?
That could be so tough, I would imagine.
It's really tough. And, you know, some people
might suggest, well, I've I've gotta go spend
2 weeks in silence and meditate. Maybe that's
helpful for some people. And for other people,
it might be a kind of,
(07:03):
inevitably becomes kind of like a, I've got
no other option. Like, I'm stuck. I'm plateaued.
Something's gotta give. And sometimes
that pain
will actually give us the courage to make
some of those mindset shifts. But most of
our clients, they're not in either of those
positions. They don't have time to go meditate
for 3 weeks on a mountain top,
nor are they interested in in kind of
(07:25):
their life exploding to the point where they
have no other option.
Most of them, what happens is it's a
slow process of helping them practice what we
call self awareness.
So it's literally
kinda like you were sharing earlier. Like, the
you have all these friends and these people
you respect who all wake up at 4
in the morning, and they practice particular routines,
(07:46):
that are actually leading to a more successful
lifestyle. And so you decide, I need to
do that. But did you wake up at
4 the first morning? You said, no.
No. What did you do? You started at
you know, you went from 8 to 7:30,
from 7:30 to 7, 7 to 6:30, 6:30
to 6, and all the way down to
eventually one day, you're waking up at 4
AM. And then you get to the point
(08:07):
where, like you said, you wake up before
your alarm even goes off at 4 AM.
Right? And so that's the same way that
we can shift our mindset.
Right? Is that we're not looking for some
2 day
intensive conference where it's like, bam, and all
of a sudden you're a a different person.
Sometimes that works, but more often than not,
I find that it's short lived. What we're
(08:28):
interested in is helping people practice very simple
things
that over a period of time literally changes
their mind their mindset
from
my failure is an obstacle to it is
an opportunity. So it's literally learning to wake
up a half hour earlier every day, not
literally, but practicing these little things that say,
okay. Let's identify
(08:49):
where were you confronted with inadequacy, shortcoming, failure.
Whether it's in your marriage, in a significant
relationship, in your extended family, with your kids,
in your health, in your finance, doesn't matter.
Where have you dropped the ball? So it's
it's beginning to practice self awareness and like,
oh, I do drop the ball. Right? That's
difficult to do. But if you practice it
on a daily basis, guess what? It becomes
(09:09):
easier and easier to identify those moments. And
then, okay, can we can we practice
shifting our view of this, our interpretation from
obstacle to opportunity?
And and it's very difficult at first. It's
unnatural. It's mechanical.
But that's why we give them a simple
practical tool so that they can practice this
day after day. And then guess what happens?
(09:30):
Over time, what they find is they are
naturally
attuned to the moments
that before would have felt very threatening because
it was an exposure of inadequacy.
Now there's they're suddenly going, wow. I actually
celebrate these moments as painful as they might
be,
and I see them as an opportunity to
grow. And because I've been working this tool
(09:51):
on a daily basis or whatever on a
regular basis,
I actually now feel more confident that I
can squeeze the learning,
the growth, the wisdom, the insights, the transformation
out
of these life experiences or a book I'm
reading or a podcast or anything else?
Well, after you flip the script, you get
into a better frame of mind, you know,
(10:12):
step by step, baby steps at first, I'd
imagine.
Once that's flipped and you have the right
frame of mind, how do you know what
to digest? My god. There's so much out
there. I know.
It's such a good question.
It's such a good question. I I remember
years years ago,
you know, I I was probably this is
(10:32):
20 plus years ago. I was in my
early twenties, and a mentor of mine said,
hey. You need to start journaling. And I
was like, oh, okay. I'm gonna do that
because my mentor said to do it. So
I, you know, got a journal, and I
sit down in a Starbucks. You know?
And I'm I'm, like, you know, partly employed.
And so I've got time on my hands,
and I'm sitting there, and I'm looking at
a blank page going, I don't even know
where to start.
And so years later,
(10:52):
I was introduced introduced to this concept of
kairos.
Kairos,
k a I r o s. It's actually
a Greek word. There are two words
for our English word time
in the Greek language.
There's one word that we're familiar with, Kronos,
which is where we get the word chronological
from. That's sequential, linear time, stopwatch time, calendar
(11:16):
time. Right?
They also have another word for time called
kairos.
And and it was it's amazing. They they
created this word kairos
to help them identify
the moments in their calendar time, in their
linear time,
where something significant was happening that they needed
(11:37):
to pay attention to in order to squeeze
out the learning. Because the Greek culture, especially
ancient Greek culture, was very much a philosophical
a learning culture.
Right? They had a high they put a
high value on their ability, not only to
learn from
the the kind of prevailing philosophies, but to
actually help make sense of their life, to
learn from life. And so we've taken that
(11:58):
word, kairos,
and we created a tool that helps people
begin to identify,
hey. As you think over the last 24
hours, as you think over the last week,
over the last month, what are the key
kairos moments
that you've experienced? And now these are subjective.
Right? Because it's really you know, your kairos
moments after a meeting might be different to
my kairos moments from that meeting, and that's
(12:19):
what matters.
What's relevant to you? What are the moments
that are sticking out? And, usually, those kairos
moments are identified because
there was an increase of emotion in that
experience.
Maybe something was really positive or really challenging.
There's something, and oftentimes, it's our emotions that
become the indicators that that was a really
significant moment. But because we're so busy getting
(12:41):
on to the next thing, we kind of,
like, you know, I call it speed bump
past those moments. We don't pay attention.
And oftentimes, if we're not careful,
enough of those little moments eventually pile up
to become really big consequential moments.
And so we teach people how to identify
kairos moments,
and and they start with just 1 or
2 in the beginning.
(13:02):
And then we give them a simple tool
that literally takes them through a 6 step
process
of how to process that kairos moment Mhmm.
To ensure that you are extracting or excavating
the gold, the wisdom, the insights, the learning.
And then we strongly recommend to people, hey.
Don't process all these Kairos moments alone. Invite
trusted people
(13:23):
to give their perspective, to offer feedback,
to offer alternative understandings of what you're experiencing,
which, by the way, Mark,
in our best moments, this is what we
already do.
And our this tool is not teaching human
beings to do something we've never done before.
It's actually
helping human beings understand in our best moments,
this is actually what our brains are hardwired
(13:45):
to do,
To take an experience of some significance
and to process it in such a way
that allows us to make sense of the
experience to extract whatever learning is available so
that we can move forward. I mean, think
about it. A young child reaches up, and
they touch the stovetop after mom and dad
said, don't touch it. And boom, they burn
their finger. They all they feel is pain.
(14:07):
Mhmm. But immediately, their brain goes to work
to process that experience and to say, there's
something up there that is unsafe.
Yeah. And therefore, I probably shouldn't reach up
there and touch anything on the stovetop anymore.
Right? That's why we're that's why we survive
as human beings because we are learning from
our life experiences. The problem is as we
(14:28):
get older,
I think sometimes we stop paying so much
attention to the pain points of our life,
and we stop being really intentional about learning.
We become more reactive than proactive. So all
we're doing is putting a tool in people's
hands
to make them to help them be very
proactive about identifying these Kairos moments and extracting
(14:49):
the learning from them.
So once that happens, as far as lifelong
learning, someone could watch this or listen to
this, and, you know, there's a there's there's
a spike. Oh, I'm gonna read, you know,
a Tony Robbins book. I'm gonna watch Bob
Proctor videos and, yeah, this is awesome.
And then life happens.
Yeah. Guilty.
It's entirely too guilty here. I have ADHD
(15:11):
on top of it. So yeah.
Once how do you how do you maintain
once you hit the level of everything you've
just said? You've started learning. You get those
moments. You get introspective. You flip the script.
Yeah. How do you maintain a life of
lifelong learning is well, there's what you digest,
who you talk to. How do you maintain
(15:31):
it so it becomes a daily or at
least weekly, but hopefully daily habit and not
just a spike or a blip on the
radar?
Yeah. I I it's it's the the the
theory that I subscribe to is no different
to people who are
lifelong,
health people or fitness people.
It doesn't matter whether it's going to the
(15:52):
gym or running or sauna ing or cold
plunging, which are newer,
but it or or getting up at 4
in the morning. Right? That that is you
intentionalizing
some practice
that you believe that the byproduct
will be greater health, clarity, focus,
productivity, whatever it is that you're looking for.
(16:12):
And so
to become a lifelong learner, what I tell
people is we have, 1st and foremost, got
to understand
what it is that we're fighting for.
Like, if I'm fighting for a 6 pack
well, can I get my 6 pack? Eventually,
that's gonna wear thin. Right? If I'm fighting
to be able to bench press £290
okay. So I bench press £290. Okay. That
(16:34):
that's that's not a big enough we need
a clear vision
for why we wanna be lifelong learners.
Right? And that's really important. Like, what's the
value
to my life as a whole? What's the
what's the value proposition or the the kind
of long term ROI
of being a lifelong learner versus just a
momentary learner.
(16:55):
Once we have a clear vision for that
and the benefits that come with it, which,
again, there are a 1,000,000 books that would
argue this point, and there's a lot out
there, so I'm not gonna belabor the point.
But Yeah. Then what we have to do,
just like in an area of fitness, is
that we have to determine what are those
what we call predictable patterns, routines, disciplines
that I need to employ
(17:17):
that will help me cultivate
this skill and this benefit
through the length of my life. So obviously,
for most of us, we cannot commit 7
days a week, 2 and a half hours
in the gym.
That's not sustainable.
Right? Maybe an intensive. Maybe we go to
(17:37):
a a workout boot camp. Those are fine.
However, what we need is something that is
long term sustainable
for our lifestyle.
And it allows us to adapt that particular
routine in different seasons. You have kids. You
have a different job. You're in a season
of sickness. Whatever. Right? Life happens.
And so we need to have routines that
(17:58):
are adaptable
and yet still stay consistent to the principles
of what we're trying to achieve
that we commit ourselves to. And here's the
beautiful thing.
When I
am in a season of what I call
lifelong fitness.
Right? Because I I I I I I'm
pretty good about it, but I can fall
in and out of bed at times. But
(18:18):
when I'm in a season of really attending
to being a lifelong,
person of fitness
and then what happens is
when you first start up, you you kinda
feel it's uncomfortable. It's difficult. I'm not seeing
the benefits. But then over time, what happens
is you can't imagine not going to the
gym. You can't imagine not getting in a
30 or 45 minute walk. You can't imagine
(18:39):
not eating healthy because you just know you've
now experienced the benefits, the byproduct
of those routines or disciplines. And so what
I suggest to people is, hey. Let's start
simple.
We're gonna give you a simple tool. Mhmm.
We're gonna help you make this paradigm shift
or this this this perspective or mindset shift
from obstacle to opportunity.
(19:01):
And all we're gonna ask you to do
is begin to practice this tool, identifying Kairos
moments,
doing your best to squeeze out the learning
and response available. And guess what happens?
Over time, what our clients say is, I
can't imagine a day when I didn't do
this, and now I look forward to practicing
this even though it takes time. It's inconvenient.
(19:21):
It's discipline.
But because they begin to experience the benefits,
now they can't imagine a life in where
they're not doing this.
And then what happens is then it becomes
much easier to maintain that
routine
over the length of our life. And, of
course, I go in and out of this
process. There are times when I look at
my journal, I literally
I'm gonna pull it out.
(19:42):
You know, I'm not sure if this is
on video, but here's my kairos journal that
I've been keeping for almost 20 years,
literally. I have, like, I don't know how
many of these moleskin journals where I am
constantly processing my kairoses in a journal, keeping
a record so that I can read back
over them, see what I've learned over the
last 3 months, 6 months, you know, a
year.
(20:03):
And then every once in a while, because
life gets crazy, I go, oh my gosh.
I haven't processed a kairos in my journal.
You know, I do it maybe in my
mind or with a friend or my wife,
but I haven't really digested a kairos, man,
in weeks.
And I go, no problem.
Because I know the value. So I'm gonna
get back in just like if you fall
off the fitness wagon or the eating wagon,
(20:24):
you say, no problem. There's no shame. There's
it's this is one more
this is one more
shortcoming that becomes an opportunity
to learn. Okay. Let's get back on that
on that routine.
That is awesome, and we have covered a
lot of ground in a short period of
time. A lot of ground.
(20:44):
Big question for you. If people watch or
listen, like, I get it. You said a
lot of good stuff. I'm even gonna go
back and replay it. If whether it's reinforcing
something you said or mentioning something you haven't
touched on yet. If you were to say,
look. As far as being a lifelong learner,
at least do this one thing. At least
this. What would you say above all?
Honestly, the
(21:07):
I I wish there was one easy quick
fix. Here's what I will tell people.
Get the book, transform your trajectory.
And if it if it doesn't provide
the answer to the question that you just
asked me, then tell people
I will send them their money back. Because
what we need is we we actually need
just like when you go to the gym,
you go, what's the one thing we need
(21:29):
to do to make sure that we launch
into our our our fitness or health journey?
Like, there isn't just one simple thing you
can do. We talked about it. It's really
a mindset shift and having a mechanism for
metabolizing
our life experiences.
And I tell people, get the book, learn
the tool, put it into practice,
let us know. They can go to our
website. We'd love to have a coaching call
(21:50):
with them for free to help them process
it. Nice. Because if they would do this
one thing,
I tell people
the difference between leaders who plateau and the
ones who continue to grow and elevate are
the ones who have an intentional mechanism
for metabolizing
their life experiences.
That is awesome. And for that call or
(22:12):
anything else,
if people wanna find you online, where's the
best place or places to go? Yep. The
simple I mean, we're all all books on
Amazon. We have online courses on our website,
but our website is the kind of hub
for everything. They can go to www.
I don't even know why I said that.
That shows you how old I am. Who
says w w w? Same people that still
use landlines.
Yeah. Empowercoaching.com.
(22:32):
It's spelled mpwrcoaching.com,
and they can get all the resources. Sign
up for a free coaching call, and we'd
love to connect with them.
Thank you again for your time. I really
appreciate it, Eric. Thank you, Mark.
And Steve.
(22:54):
Thank you for joining us today. I hope
you enjoyed the episode. I also hope that
you'll subscribe to the idea climbing podcast and
rate us on Itunes.
Visitideaclimbing.com
to learn more about idea climbing and hear
more episodes about mentoring,
marketing, and big ideas.
Welcome to the idea climbing podcast.
Everyone can be and probably should be a
lifelong learner. I discuss how and why to
do that in this episode with my guest,
Eric Pfeiffer.
Eric is the founder and CEO of Empower
Coaching.
Eric has been in the leadership development space
for 15 years, having helped build a multimillion
dollar coaching business and trained over 150 coaches
(00:23):
worldwide.
He founded Empower Coaching in 2019 to expand
his efforts to unlock leaders' potential
so they can grow their organizations and teams
in new never imagined ways. We dive into
topics such as the importance of and how
to practice self awareness,
the ROI of being a lifelong learner versus
just being a momentary learner, How to shift
(00:44):
your mindset from failure being an obstacle to
it being an opportunity
and more golden nuggets of advice. You're gonna
love this show.
Thank you for joining me for the idea
climbing podcast, Eric. I really appreciate you making
the time. Thank you, Mark, for having me.
I'm excited about our conversation.
(01:06):
And we're gonna talk about how to be
a lifelong learner. But before we get into
some strategies and tactics in that, as far
as being a lifelong learner,
when did that start for you? Why are
you so passionate about it? What's the story
there?
Well, Mark, it didn't start early enough, and
that's why I'm so passionate about it. I
think I think like a lot of people
(01:27):
in my younger years in my twenties and
maybe even to early thirties,
I I felt so much pressure to know,
to to have arrived, to have achieved,
to have acquired whatever knowledge base that I
needed to be successful,
and
constantly ran into so many roadblocks
and, into different challenges
(01:49):
that kept over and over and over reflecting
back to me. Like, hey, dude. You don't
know everything.
And there there was a a long season
there where I wasn't okay with that. So
every time,
something some inadequacy,
some lack of knowledge or know how
was exposed in me through some deficiency,
usually by other people. Right?
(02:11):
I would take that as an insult
as somehow diminishing my value, disqualifying
me from something better.
And it was actually through some really helpful
mentorship
that this mentor one day kinda just said
to me, like, hey, dude.
You need to get over yourself. Like, you're
gonna spend the rest of your life becoming
a better version of you.
(02:33):
And so if you if you see
every exposure of something you don't know or
don't know how to do
as some kind of diminishing of your value,
then you're you're going to stay plateaued and
stuck.
And then what you'll do is you'll create
a world around you where what you know
and know how to do currently,
(02:53):
is the only thing that's required, which means
then you that your success level or trajectory
is is diminished as well.
And so that flipping of that script and
to recognize that actually every time
some deficiency me is exposed, I should celebrate.
I should be grateful and appreciative because it's
exposing a potential new growth edge. And if
(03:15):
I could embrace
the positive perspective on that, the opportunity instead
of it being an obstacle, as I like
to say, Then what happens is every time
something's exposed as a deficiency, I get to
say, well, here's a new area I get
to grow in. And so I know in
my early years of marriage, in my early
years of parenting, in my early years of
leadership, building business, working with clients,
(03:36):
over and over again, I I was being
exposed in the to the degree that I
could embrace those as opportunities for increased growth,
then I could embrace the opportunity
to go on a journey,
personal transformation and development.
And as that became more and more the
norm for my life, I realized that my
trajectory
radically
(03:57):
changed.
Oh, yeah. I found myself on this continual
growth path.
So as far as that path goes, where
do you even get started with being a
lifelong learner? How does it begin? I mean,
for people watching and listening, if they're like
this I'm I'm getting what you said, but
where do where do I start?
That's a great question. Well, obviously, in in
our in our coaching business, we have, you
(04:17):
know, some very simple leadership tools that give
people the practical handles and how to flip
the script. The the first
starting point, if I just for your listeners,
if they just need something very quick,
it's literally it's a choice. It's a mindset
to flip the script that every time we
choose
how we interpret an experience. So every time
(04:38):
a deficiency, inadequacy,
some,
some area that we've fallen short is exposed
in our life, we're either gonna self protect,
defend, project responsibility onto everybody else.
Everybody else is the problem. Or
we can flip the script and, in that
moment, choose to see those as opportunities for
our own personal growth and development.
That is the starting point because until we
(04:59):
have that mindset shift, until we can flip
the script
on our failures or shortcomings,
then we will always see those as roadblocks
or obstacles
rather than the opportunities that they really are.
And then from there,
I would suggest we have to learn
some basic mechanisms
to actually squeeze the learning out of our
(05:19):
life experiences, whether they be positive or negative.
And so we talked earlier about the importance
of in the same way that our body
has this unbelievable ability to metabolize
the food that we eat. Right? We just
shove food in our mouth, and we're not
probably thinking too much. Well, nowadays, people think
about it, but you know what I mean?
We're consuming food
in the same way that we're consuming
(05:41):
life experiences
or even books, podcasts, all that stuff.
But what is our ability to metabolize
those experiences
so that we're able to extract the nutrients,
we're able to extract the energy, we're able
to
get rid of the toxins that might pass
through.
And so that's the second part of being
(06:01):
a lifelong one. The first is a mindset
shift Mhmm. From every failure being an obstacle
to it being an opportunity.
The second part of the journey is developing
the mechanisms, which you know, I wrote a
book recently called transform your trajectory that introduces
one of the core tools in our toolkit
that literally
is a lifelong learning tool
(06:21):
that helps us practice a growth mindset, you
know, a lot of these things we've heard
before,
but actually
gives us the ability to metabolize
the experiences
of our life so that we can be
on an upward trajectory.
So flipping the script, if I hear you
right, I think that could be tough because
of the internal dialogue that goes along with
(06:41):
setbacks or a stronger word failures.
How do you go about flipping the script?
That could be so tough, I would imagine.
It's really tough. And, you know, some people
might suggest, well, I've I've gotta go spend
2 weeks in silence and meditate. Maybe that's
helpful for some people. And for other people,
it might be a kind of,
(07:03):
inevitably becomes kind of like a, I've got
no other option. Like, I'm stuck. I'm plateaued.
Something's gotta give. And sometimes
that pain
will actually give us the courage to make
some of those mindset shifts. But most of
our clients, they're not in either of those
positions. They don't have time to go meditate
for 3 weeks on a mountain top,
nor are they interested in in kind of
(07:25):
their life exploding to the point where they
have no other option.
Most of them, what happens is it's a
slow process of helping them practice what we
call self awareness.
So it's literally
kinda like you were sharing earlier. Like, the
you have all these friends and these people
you respect who all wake up at 4
in the morning, and they practice particular routines,
(07:46):
that are actually leading to a more successful
lifestyle. And so you decide, I need to
do that. But did you wake up at
4 the first morning? You said, no.
No. What did you do? You started at
you know, you went from 8 to 7:30,
from 7:30 to 7, 7 to 6:30, 6:30
to 6, and all the way down to
eventually one day, you're waking up at 4
AM. And then you get to the point
(08:07):
where, like you said, you wake up before
your alarm even goes off at 4 AM.
Right? And so that's the same way that
we can shift our mindset.
Right? Is that we're not looking for some
2 day
intensive conference where it's like, bam, and all
of a sudden you're a a different person.
Sometimes that works, but more often than not,
I find that it's short lived. What we're
(08:28):
interested in is helping people practice very simple
things
that over a period of time literally changes
their mind their mindset
from
my failure is an obstacle to it is
an opportunity. So it's literally learning to wake
up a half hour earlier every day, not
literally, but practicing these little things that say,
okay. Let's identify
(08:49):
where were you confronted with inadequacy, shortcoming, failure.
Whether it's in your marriage, in a significant
relationship, in your extended family, with your kids,
in your health, in your finance, doesn't matter.
Where have you dropped the ball? So it's
it's beginning to practice self awareness and like,
oh, I do drop the ball. Right? That's
difficult to do. But if you practice it
on a daily basis, guess what? It becomes
(09:09):
easier and easier to identify those moments. And
then, okay, can we can we practice
shifting our view of this, our interpretation from
obstacle to opportunity?
And and it's very difficult at first. It's
unnatural. It's mechanical.
But that's why we give them a simple
practical tool so that they can practice this
day after day. And then guess what happens?
(09:30):
Over time, what they find is they are
naturally
attuned to the moments
that before would have felt very threatening because
it was an exposure of inadequacy.
Now there's they're suddenly going, wow. I actually
celebrate these moments as painful as they might
be,
and I see them as an opportunity to
grow. And because I've been working this tool
(09:51):
on a daily basis or whatever on a
regular basis,
I actually now feel more confident that I
can squeeze the learning,
the growth, the wisdom, the insights, the transformation
out
of these life experiences or a book I'm
reading or a podcast or anything else?
Well, after you flip the script, you get
into a better frame of mind, you know,
(10:12):
step by step, baby steps at first, I'd
imagine.
Once that's flipped and you have the right
frame of mind, how do you know what
to digest? My god. There's so much out
there. I know.
It's such a good question.
It's such a good question. I I remember
years years ago,
you know, I I was probably this is
(10:32):
20 plus years ago. I was in my
early twenties, and a mentor of mine said,
hey. You need to start journaling. And I
was like, oh, okay. I'm gonna do that
because my mentor said to do it. So
I, you know, got a journal, and I
sit down in a Starbucks. You know?
And I'm I'm, like, you know, partly employed.
And so I've got time on my hands,
and I'm sitting there, and I'm looking at
a blank page going, I don't even know
where to start.
And so years later,
(10:52):
I was introduced introduced to this concept of
kairos.
Kairos,
k a I r o s. It's actually
a Greek word. There are two words
for our English word time
in the Greek language.
There's one word that we're familiar with, Kronos,
which is where we get the word chronological
from. That's sequential, linear time, stopwatch time, calendar
(11:16):
time. Right?
They also have another word for time called
kairos.
And and it was it's amazing. They they
created this word kairos
to help them identify
the moments in their calendar time, in their
linear time,
where something significant was happening that they needed
(11:37):
to pay attention to in order to squeeze
out the learning. Because the Greek culture, especially
ancient Greek culture, was very much a philosophical
a learning culture.
Right? They had a high they put a
high value on their ability, not only to
learn from
the the kind of prevailing philosophies, but to
actually help make sense of their life, to
learn from life. And so we've taken that
(11:58):
word, kairos,
and we created a tool that helps people
begin to identify,
hey. As you think over the last 24
hours, as you think over the last week,
over the last month, what are the key
kairos moments
that you've experienced? And now these are subjective.
Right? Because it's really you know, your kairos
moments after a meeting might be different to
my kairos moments from that meeting, and that's
(12:19):
what matters.
What's relevant to you? What are the moments
that are sticking out? And, usually, those kairos
moments are identified because
there was an increase of emotion in that
experience.
Maybe something was really positive or really challenging.
There's something, and oftentimes, it's our emotions that
become the indicators that that was a really
significant moment. But because we're so busy getting
(12:41):
on to the next thing, we kind of,
like, you know, I call it speed bump
past those moments. We don't pay attention.
And oftentimes, if we're not careful,
enough of those little moments eventually pile up
to become really big consequential moments.
And so we teach people how to identify
kairos moments,
and and they start with just 1 or
2 in the beginning.
(13:02):
And then we give them a simple tool
that literally takes them through a 6 step
process
of how to process that kairos moment Mhmm.
To ensure that you are extracting or excavating
the gold, the wisdom, the insights, the learning.
And then we strongly recommend to people, hey.
Don't process all these Kairos moments alone. Invite
trusted people
(13:23):
to give their perspective, to offer feedback,
to offer alternative understandings of what you're experiencing,
which, by the way, Mark,
in our best moments, this is what we
already do.
And our this tool is not teaching human
beings to do something we've never done before.
It's actually
helping human beings understand in our best moments,
this is actually what our brains are hardwired
(13:45):
to do,
To take an experience of some significance
and to process it in such a way
that allows us to make sense of the
experience to extract whatever learning is available so
that we can move forward. I mean, think
about it. A young child reaches up, and
they touch the stovetop after mom and dad
said, don't touch it. And boom, they burn
their finger. They all they feel is pain.
(14:07):
Mhmm. But immediately, their brain goes to work
to process that experience and to say, there's
something up there that is unsafe.
Yeah. And therefore, I probably shouldn't reach up
there and touch anything on the stovetop anymore.
Right? That's why we're that's why we survive
as human beings because we are learning from
our life experiences. The problem is as we
(14:28):
get older,
I think sometimes we stop paying so much
attention to the pain points of our life,
and we stop being really intentional about learning.
We become more reactive than proactive. So all
we're doing is putting a tool in people's
hands
to make them to help them be very
proactive about identifying these Kairos moments and extracting
(14:49):
the learning from them.
So once that happens, as far as lifelong
learning, someone could watch this or listen to
this, and, you know, there's a there's there's
a spike. Oh, I'm gonna read, you know,
a Tony Robbins book. I'm gonna watch Bob
Proctor videos and, yeah, this is awesome.
And then life happens.
Yeah. Guilty.
It's entirely too guilty here. I have ADHD
(15:11):
on top of it. So yeah.
Once how do you how do you maintain
once you hit the level of everything you've
just said? You've started learning. You get those
moments. You get introspective. You flip the script.
Yeah. How do you maintain a life of
lifelong learning is well, there's what you digest,
who you talk to. How do you maintain
(15:31):
it so it becomes a daily or at
least weekly, but hopefully daily habit and not
just a spike or a blip on the
radar?
Yeah. I I it's it's the the the
theory that I subscribe to is no different
to people who are
lifelong,
health people or fitness people.
It doesn't matter whether it's going to the
(15:52):
gym or running or sauna ing or cold
plunging, which are newer,
but it or or getting up at 4
in the morning. Right? That that is you
intentionalizing
some practice
that you believe that the byproduct
will be greater health, clarity, focus,
productivity, whatever it is that you're looking for.
(16:12):
And so
to become a lifelong learner, what I tell
people is we have, 1st and foremost, got
to understand
what it is that we're fighting for.
Like, if I'm fighting for a 6 pack
well, can I get my 6 pack? Eventually,
that's gonna wear thin. Right? If I'm fighting
to be able to bench press £290
okay. So I bench press £290. Okay. That
(16:34):
that's that's not a big enough we need
a clear vision
for why we wanna be lifelong learners.
Right? And that's really important. Like, what's the
value
to my life as a whole? What's the
what's the value proposition or the the kind
of long term ROI
of being a lifelong learner versus just a
momentary learner.
(16:55):
Once we have a clear vision for that
and the benefits that come with it, which,
again, there are a 1,000,000 books that would
argue this point, and there's a lot out
there, so I'm not gonna belabor the point.
But Yeah. Then what we have to do,
just like in an area of fitness, is
that we have to determine what are those
what we call predictable patterns, routines, disciplines
that I need to employ
(17:17):
that will help me cultivate
this skill and this benefit
through the length of my life. So obviously,
for most of us, we cannot commit 7
days a week, 2 and a half hours
in the gym.
That's not sustainable.
Right? Maybe an intensive. Maybe we go to
(17:37):
a a workout boot camp. Those are fine.
However, what we need is something that is
long term sustainable
for our lifestyle.
And it allows us to adapt that particular
routine in different seasons. You have kids. You
have a different job. You're in a season
of sickness. Whatever. Right? Life happens.
And so we need to have routines that
(17:58):
are adaptable
and yet still stay consistent to the principles
of what we're trying to achieve
that we commit ourselves to. And here's the
beautiful thing.
When I
am in a season of what I call
lifelong fitness.
Right? Because I I I I I I'm
pretty good about it, but I can fall
in and out of bed at times. But
(18:18):
when I'm in a season of really attending
to being a lifelong,
person of fitness
and then what happens is
when you first start up, you you kinda
feel it's uncomfortable. It's difficult. I'm not seeing
the benefits. But then over time, what happens
is you can't imagine not going to the
gym. You can't imagine not getting in a
30 or 45 minute walk. You can't imagine
(18:39):
not eating healthy because you just know you've
now experienced the benefits, the byproduct
of those routines or disciplines. And so what
I suggest to people is, hey. Let's start
simple.
We're gonna give you a simple tool. Mhmm.
We're gonna help you make this paradigm shift
or this this this perspective or mindset shift
from obstacle to opportunity.
(19:01):
And all we're gonna ask you to do
is begin to practice this tool, identifying Kairos
moments,
doing your best to squeeze out the learning
and response available. And guess what happens?
Over time, what our clients say is, I
can't imagine a day when I didn't do
this, and now I look forward to practicing
this even though it takes time. It's inconvenient.
(19:21):
It's discipline.
But because they begin to experience the benefits,
now they can't imagine a life in where
they're not doing this.
And then what happens is then it becomes
much easier to maintain that
routine
over the length of our life. And, of
course, I go in and out of this
process. There are times when I look at
my journal, I literally
I'm gonna pull it out.
(19:42):
You know, I'm not sure if this is
on video, but here's my kairos journal that
I've been keeping for almost 20 years,
literally. I have, like, I don't know how
many of these moleskin journals where I am
constantly processing my kairoses in a journal, keeping
a record so that I can read back
over them, see what I've learned over the
last 3 months, 6 months, you know, a
year.
(20:03):
And then every once in a while, because
life gets crazy, I go, oh my gosh.
I haven't processed a kairos in my journal.
You know, I do it maybe in my
mind or with a friend or my wife,
but I haven't really digested a kairos, man,
in weeks.
And I go, no problem.
Because I know the value. So I'm gonna
get back in just like if you fall
off the fitness wagon or the eating wagon,
(20:24):
you say, no problem. There's no shame. There's
it's this is one more
this is one more
shortcoming that becomes an opportunity
to learn. Okay. Let's get back on that
on that routine.
That is awesome, and we have covered a
lot of ground in a short period of
time. A lot of ground.
(20:44):
Big question for you. If people watch or
listen, like, I get it. You said a
lot of good stuff. I'm even gonna go
back and replay it. If whether it's reinforcing
something you said or mentioning something you haven't
touched on yet. If you were to say,
look. As far as being a lifelong learner,
at least do this one thing. At least
this. What would you say above all?
Honestly, the
(21:07):
I I wish there was one easy quick
fix. Here's what I will tell people.
Get the book, transform your trajectory.
And if it if it doesn't provide
the answer to the question that you just
asked me, then tell people
I will send them their money back. Because
what we need is we we actually need
just like when you go to the gym,
you go, what's the one thing we need
(21:29):
to do to make sure that we launch
into our our our fitness or health journey?
Like, there isn't just one simple thing you
can do. We talked about it. It's really
a mindset shift and having a mechanism for
metabolizing
our life experiences.
And I tell people, get the book, learn
the tool, put it into practice,
let us know. They can go to our
website. We'd love to have a coaching call
(21:50):
with them for free to help them process
it. Nice. Because if they would do this
one thing,
I tell people
the difference between leaders who plateau and the
ones who continue to grow and elevate are
the ones who have an intentional mechanism
for metabolizing
their life experiences.
That is awesome. And for that call or
(22:12):
anything else,
if people wanna find you online, where's the
best place or places to go? Yep. The
simple I mean, we're all all books on
Amazon. We have online courses on our website,
but our website is the kind of hub
for everything. They can go to www.
I don't even know why I said that.
That shows you how old I am. Who
says w w w? Same people that still
use landlines.
Yeah. Empowercoaching.com.
(22:32):
It's spelled mpwrcoaching.com,
and they can get all the resources. Sign
up for a free coaching call, and we'd
love to connect with them.
Thank you again for your time. I really
appreciate it, Eric. Thank you, Mark.
And Steve.
(22:54):
Thank you for joining us today. I hope
you enjoyed the episode. I also hope that
you'll subscribe to the idea climbing podcast and
rate us on Itunes.
Visitideaclimbing.com
to learn more about idea climbing and hear
more episodes about mentoring,
marketing, and big ideas.
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