Most engineers don’t fail because they lack technical skills. They fail because they blow up in the moment—or because they move too slow. In this episode, Steve and Jake Maxey break down how to control your emotions when feedback hits hard, why perception trumps reality, and how speed separates leaders from the rest. Not theory—practical, tactical advice you can use immediately.
Key Topics Covered
• How emotional outbursts silently kill careers
• The difference between defending yourself vs. listening when feedback stings
• Why perception matters more than your intent
• Blind spots every engineer has—and how to find them before others do
• The right timing to give feedback without making things worse
• Why speed is the ultimate differentiator in engineering careers
• The hidden cost of “waiting for all the answers” before starting
• Risk vs. fear—what really slows teams down
• Systems and processes that allow speed without mistakes
• Why “slow is smooth, smooth is fast” applies to engineering
Actionable Steps
• Pause before reacting to hard feedback—don’t fight in the moment
• When blindsided, buy time: acknowledge, process, then return to the conversation
• Set expectations when giving feedback—never blindside your team
• Ask directly for feedback to uncover blind spots early
• Align perception of you with the reality you want others to see
• Build simple systems and templates to move faster without sacrificing quality
• Reverse engineer past projects to create reusable strategies
• Anticipate risks and prep countermeasures before issues hit
• Start tasks early, even if inputs aren’t final—most paths share common ground
• Slow down to organize your work so future speed doesn’t collapse under chaos
Who This Episode Is For
• Engineers who react defensively when feedback gets personal
• Early-career engineers struggling to prove they can lead
• High performers frustrated by slow-moving peers and teams
• ICs who want more visibility and growth but keep getting overlooked
Why It Matters
Your technical skills won’t save you if you can’t manage your emotions or if you move slower than the pace of business. Leaders notice who keeps a cool head, who absorbs feedback, and who gets things done fast without chaos. If you can master feedback and speed, you’ll separate yourself from 90% of engineers stuck defending themselves or waiting for perfect answers.
Where to Listen
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Or wherever you get your podcasts
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