Every engineer hits a wall. You pitch an idea, chase a promotion, or submit a proposal; then you get a “no.” Most people stop there. But high-impact engineers don’t see rejection as the end. They see it as data. In this episode, Steve and Jake break down how to turn a “no” into fuel for growth, how to ask the right follow-up questions, and how to use resistance as the ultimate feedback loop.
Not theory; practical, tactical advice from two engineers who’ve heard “no” more times than they can count and used it to build careers, teams, and businesses.
Key Topics Covered
• The mindset shift from rejection to information gathering
• Why “no” is rarely permanent—and how to find the real reason behind it
• How to request feedback without sounding defensive or desperate
• The trap of filling in the blanks with your own assumptions
• Turning client losses, failed proposals, or denied promotions into strategy
• How to reframe rejection as part of your input process, not your identity
• Building resilience and emotional recovery speed after setbacks
• The “ask, learn, adjust” cycle every successful engineer uses
• What great managers actually mean when they say “not right now”
• Why mastering this one skill separates future leaders from stalled contributors
Actionable Steps
• When you hear “no,” pause; then ask for a short debrief call or conversation.
• Frame your question around learning, not winning: “Can you help me understand what drove the decision?”
• Separate emotion from information. Collect data, not drama.
• Identify if the rejection was based on timing, scope, or performance.
• Document what you learn to build a playbook for your next attempt.
• Follow up professionally and show them you’re coachable and persistent.
• For career growth, ask: “What would make me the obvious choice next time?”
• Treat every rejection as a calibration point, not a verdict.
• Practice recovery speed and get back to baseline faster after a hit.
• Use “nos” as reps in your leadership gym; they’re how you get stronger.
Who This Episode Is For
• Engineers who’ve been passed over for promotions or raises
• High performers tired of vague feedback or unclear expectations
• Early-career engineers learning how to advocate for themselves
• Technical contributors struggling with communication and influence
• Anyone who wants to build real career momentum instead of waiting for permission
Why It Matters
How you handle rejection defines your growth curve. Engineers who take “no” at face value plateau early. Engineers who seek context, ask sharper questions, and extract insight build unstoppable momentum. This episode will challenge how you think, react, and lead the next time someone shuts a door in your face; and show you how to open a better one yourself.
Where to Listen
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Or wherever you get your podcasts
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