August 7, 2024 • 48 mins
Navigating the Lost Girl Era: Rejection, Resilience, and Rediscovery
I'm back! Hi, did you miss me? Don't worry, I'm diving into everything that's been going on in my world and catching you up about my recent bout with depression (which I'm redefining as my 'Lost Girl Era').
Here's a look at this week's episode:
- Depression? Nah, we're calling it our Lost Girl Era
- I share the emotional journey of job searching, overcoming multiple rejections, and what happens when it doesn't work out.
- Better yet, how I'm not giving up and how I inadvertently found small wins when I felt numb. Sometimes sitting with the uncomfortable feelings leads to new perspectives and observations.
- LOVE ISLAND USA SEASON 6 - CAN I GET A HELL YES? I go into my binge-watching experience, offering a humorous and heartfelt take on reality TV.
- My house-hunting adventure and how you can't bamboozle me.
- EMF Waves - wtf - my peculiar revelation about the impact of wearing an Apple Watch and my chronic pain.
- New York City pitch emails - holy level of imposter syndrome!
No matter what, embrace your resilience, don't forget your self-belief, and remember the power of redirection.
If you're enjoying the podcast, don't forget to leave a rating or review and hit the subscribe and follow buttons!
Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
RODECaster Pro Multichanne (00:06):
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to an all newepisode of the in between.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney,and I guess I should be saying,
welcome back Elizabeth to the inbetween.
Oh my goodness.
Yes.
Your girl took a little break.
She took a little break.
you know, Sometimes we needbreaks, and as I was laying out
(00:28):
this week's episode, organizingmy thoughts, always a fun
pastime of mine, uh, butorganizing my thoughts and the
topics and things I wanted tohit, I was thinking about the
order, Do I give all the lifeupdates and all the things that
have piqued my interest over thepast few weeks since we last had
a one on one session?
You know what I mean?
Or do I just start with, like,what's been going on and why I
(00:49):
needed a break?
And since the in between is allabout real, authentic
conversations, Honestly, I don'teven know if I could be fake if
I'm being, if I'm beingcompletely frank with you.
But I was like, you know what,I'm just gonna get into it
because this is a safe space.
Y'all my peoples.
At least I would hope so.
If you're listening to mypodcast, you're into me.
(01:10):
But I wanted to get into my lostgirl era.
That is what I'm calling it.
What it really is, is justdepression.
not that depression is a badword, but for me, I'm going to
reframe it as my lost girl era.
So I'm gonna try my best not tomake this like some very long,
layered journey for a story.
(01:30):
Like turn it into a quest.
Because I think I can do that.
Not that I'm a bad storyteller,but like we got lots of things
to talk about.
Ahem.
Cough, cough.
Love Island.
More on that momentarily.
But, let's see.
Where did it all begin?
So I always have so manydifferent things going on.
That is just who I am.
I am what they call anoverachiever.
(01:52):
But with podcasts and the job,it's a lot.
Well, what y'all didn't reallyknow is behind the scenes, I've
also been like looking for a newjob.
I'm not gonna get into all ofthat, um, because that's like a
different episode for adifferent day, and that has a
lot of nuance to it.
With that said, I've beenlooking for a while.
The job market is not ideal.
So for all of my friends outthere who are in it with me,
(02:15):
hugs and eat some candy becauseit's emotional.
Dear me.
So I, I've been applying andgetting rejections.
I've gone through referrals, thewhole ship and caboodle.
So part of why my focus waslooking for a job is back.
I don't know, back in April,March, I was like universe,
whoever is listening, pleasehelp me figure out, do I need to
(02:38):
spend my efforts looking for ahouse or looking for a job?
Because doing both and workingmy actual job and doing the
podcast and everything else wasjust a little too much, you know
what I mean?
So I was like, please someonehelp me because I'm immobilized,
I already have task paralysis.
So imagine how that translatesto my life when I have like all
(03:00):
these huge things that, youknow, take up a lot of time and
energy.
Well, let's just say theuniverse was like, here's your
answer.
So I started looking for a job.
Well, to get discouraged.
It's easier said than done.
I mean, I've been through thetrenches in my own mental
health.
So, you know.
I'm not trying to say I've gotit figured out, but I can pick
(03:20):
myself up by the bootstraps alittle bit easier than I used
to, you know what I mean?
So, rejection, rejection,rejection, after rejection, Some
of these are even through, likemost of these actually were
through referrals, so like, itjust is not an ideal time.
And, you know, no conversationaround the economy, but like,
what the hell's going on?
(03:41):
I don't even know, I don't evenknow.
But anyways.
I found this role that seemedperfect for what I was looking
for.
And I'm going to try and saythis story without it sounding
too, too cheesy, but let's justsay everything was lining up.
Not only was this exactly what Iwas looking for, the way in
which the timeline was workingin the way in which my projects
(04:03):
were lining up, it was liketransitions like, Ooh, this is
clear.
Like it just seemed like it was,everything was working out.
One thing that I've talked aboutand one thing that I've also
been like holding on is like I'mabout to enter my season Of
winning, you know, I've beenthrough the shit and I mean not
to say that I can control how mylife goes Like that's a whole
other conversation between is itfate?
(04:24):
Do we have choice?
That's some things I've beenmusing over lately, but what I
mean is like I want to claim it.
I want to own it I want to beconfident Because through this
whole journey of life, really,but just, you know, making the
choice, feeling like I was beingguided into where I need to
spend my efforts and my focus.
I felt like, Oh wow, this is allbeen building up to this, right?
(04:48):
And then how it kept working outand like the check marks it was
hitting and it was interviewafter interview.
And before I knew it, I was allthe way through every final
round, every single round ofinterviews I had gotten through
every single round.
To the point that I'm just goingto be honest.
The hiring manager was like, I'dhire you right now if I could,
because I still had a few morerounds at that point in the
game.
(05:09):
So with this feeling of, Whoa, Ithink this is it.
And feeling that in my gut, inmy intuition, and then like,
rather than being insecure orhaving imposter syndrome or
thinking, Oh, I don't deserveit.
I'm not good enough.
I was like, no, fuck that.
I am good enough.
I'm claiming it.
I've been busting my ass doingthe like two jobs of the podcast
(05:30):
on my actual job and trying todo this and also look for a
house and keep my sanity andalso like cry every other week
because I miss my dog sofreaking much like it's a lot.
But somehow I'm not like gettingtaken under and I'm gonna make
it.
I'm gonna get through.
I am gonna do the damn thingbecause I've been at my rock
bottom.
I'm not going back.
Like, Oh, you know what I mean?
(05:50):
Like not going back.
Like I have, I owe it to myselfto keep going.
So, I claim it, I'm owning it,people, I didn't really share it
with a lot of people, but thosethat I did, my, my, my mom, my,
my family, like my, some of myfriends, they were like, wait,
this is your job.
This is it.
Like, we all felt it.
It was a weird thing.
Right?
Right.
And then, randomly, like a weekafter the final interview, I get
(06:14):
an automated rejection email.
Automated meaning, dear ma'am,right?
So, not really personalized,very just, wow, humbling.
Sure, we'll just say that wordfor now.
But like, to be honest, anyplace I've ever interviewed,
especially if I've actuallyinterviewed, even if it was just
like a recruiter screening, I'vealways at least had like a
(06:36):
person respond back to me.
So that was fun, you know, tomake it through every round.
Um, I was devastated.
I was crushed.
I was desperate to get out of mycurrent job because I just, I'm
ready for things to change.
Like I'm ready for the nextstep.
We've been in this apartment.
I've been in this job for somany years.
It's time for me to grow andspread my wings because I just
(06:57):
don't feel like I'm beingchallenged enough.
But at the same time, I do, Seeopportunity there, but you need
to pay me more right?
I need to make more money I needto make more money to be able to
like comfortably afford mygroceries and not feel like oh
Well, I could like start forlunch today and like maybe skip
dinner tomorrow.
I'm just kidding It's not thatdramatic.
But like also groceries arefucking expensive.
(07:18):
So Call me when your grocerybill is like under 100 That'd be
great because I feel like evenas a single person it would it
would still be be ghastly.
But anyways, I digress so,feeling like I've been stuck
even though I haven't beengiving up because I've been
feeling this momentum and I'mmaking little progress here and
here with the, with the podcastwith this and trying to make
(07:40):
sure my personal life is stayingwith it and trying to keep it
all together and just, Also, notcrumble by the pressure of like
the mountain I feel like I'mholding, of all these big time
energy consuming things I'mfocusing on and struggling to be
like, I don't know how to let goof some of it.
That's why I was like focus onthe house, focus on the job,
(08:00):
focus on the job.
So to finally after so long feellike I was finally there and to
feel it and to claim it and to,for real, for real, not have
imposter syndrome, not secondguess myself, literally,
literally.
Literally was not insecure, itwas wild.
It was the first time, like,really where I was like, Wow, my
inner narrative is not at allgaslighting me.
(08:21):
This is so wonderful.
Oh, nice to meet you Liz, I loveyou.
And then to get that, and thento get the rejection, like, it
devastated me.
And it was more than just, like,not getting the job.
Sure, that hurt my ego.
Sure, it made me frustrated.
Like, why do I keep gettingrejections?
What am I missing here?
(08:42):
How come I keep getting so closeso many times and then it's
like, I just, this is just outof reach.
That's what it feels like.
It's just out of reach.
And then I was devastatedbecause I felt like I really
believed in myself at the time.
I was like, for the first time Ireally believed in myself, but
(09:04):
that's kind of what it felt likethe first time to like truly
like send it, you know what Imean?
And like, not doubt myself atfrigging all.
And feeling, wow, it didn't workout.
The one time that you truly likeput yourself on a limb in terms
of like self belief and you gotrejected.
feeling like I was finally gonnabe able to break out of my, you
(09:26):
know, break into a new role,break into a new opportunity, a
new chapter and feel a littleless stuck.
Because then, you know, makemore money, maybe you can
comfortably afford the housebetter.
You can afford a better house,you can afford a home at least
more comfortably at bare minimumbecause homes are crazy
expensive.
and I just sat there with it.
(09:46):
I was devastated.
I wanted to give up.
I was like, what is it all for?
I am so tired of being rejected.
And feeling like I'm chasing mytail, getting nowhere fast,
knowing that I have to let go ofsome of this stress so I can get
more done and feel like afreaking sane person half the
time.
But I don't know how because Igotta work.
(10:08):
I'm not giving up the podcast.
That's part of the struggle.
That's just part of like, youknow, the come up story.
What about all this other shit?
What do I do?
And yes, as somebody with ADHDand maybe borderline control
issues, I would like a frigginmanual of the choices I need to
make to get to the path I want.
But that's part of life.
(10:29):
But anyways, I was really sad.
I was, I was in a, I was in ahole.
I think the biggest thing was,Feeling like I lost my
spirituality, like I lost myconnection to something more
than myself, right?
Like, I don't want to use theword religion because it's not
that, but I don't know, maybeit's just, it comes down to like
(10:52):
a disconnection from myself andmy core beliefs of me.
Thank God I also had therapythat week, so that was like
crucial timing.
We like when those things likeline up perfectly, right?
So not to get into all the weedsand details really of.
The hindsight 2020 afterafterthoughts, after
reflections.
(11:12):
I want to say that, I don'tknow, three or four days after I
got the rejection email.
Oh, actually, before I even getto that point, what really,
really fun salt in the wounds.
Like two days after theautomated rejection email, the
recruiter reaches back out to meand is like, Hey, you should
hear next steps next week.
And I'm like, excuse me, um, Igot a rejection email.
So what does that mean?
(11:33):
And then they were like, Oh, Iguess the team decided.
So that was fun.
Very dramatic.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
you know, it's not even an egothing.
I'm just like, well.
Like I feel like Olaf fromFrozen during summer, like
without the little like magicalcloud, you know, he's just like
I'm having a good time, but he'smelted, you know, that's, that's
like where I was mentally like,Oh, this is good.
(11:53):
This is good.
This is fun.
So, anyways, like four daysafter I get the notice that I'm
not, I'm no longer beingforward, I couldn't ignore the
fact that although I was numb, Iwas still getting things done.
So I picked up that this was adifferent type of depression
than the like the first one thatI remembered like the one that
was like my rock frickin bottombecause I was, I was washing my
(12:14):
face, I was brushing my teeth, Iwas eating my, I was making sure
I was eating all my meals, I wassleeping, eh, not, not great,
but like I was sleeping, youknow, I immediately noticed,
okay, this isn't horriblebecause like, I'm taking care of
myself.
That's great.
Okay, cool.
I still felt numb, but there waslike this voice literally inside
(12:39):
me, like just over and overagain, like you can't give up no
matter how many tears I cried,no matter how much I just was
like, forget the universe.
Screw you turning my back.
What benefit have you been?
But me just believing myself tobe shot in the mud.
Fuck the universe.
Fuck my ability to get a newjob.
(13:00):
Just fuck it all.
That's really how I felt, butalso with like lots of crocodile
tears.
You know, I was in my feels.
Despite all of that, there wasthis voice in me.
Voice that was just like, youcan't give up, bitch.
Like you can't it was a littlebit nicer at first.
It was like, I know you'rehurting, but you can't give up.
I know you want to but you can'tgive up.
(13:21):
I know it's hard.
You can't give up.
Some people have it easier.
You're right, but you can't giveup.
Some people have it harder.
You can't give up.
Like every single scenariorunning through my head.
And after sitting with myselfand not putting pressure on
myself because well, I feltnumb.
I was in a rut, you know, I wason a rock and a hard place.
(13:41):
I wasn't feeling the jumble ofthoughts because I've like, I
gotta go do this and do that anddo that.
And like maybe my ADHD wasn'tactivated so to speak, if that
makes any sense.
And I realized, okay, I'm takingcare of myself, but also I'm
still doing things.
Like the week I got rejected, IS I put out an episode, I was
still able to edit it.
And ironically it was thefeelings one kind of, you know,
(14:05):
not that I forgot what the topicwas, but like I wasn't thinking
about it when I went into editit.
And then I was like, Oh shit, Ineed to hear this message this
week.
How fitting.
And so I started reflecting overthe week, definitely not the
first few days cause thishappened on a Monday, way to
kick off your week.
You're rejected.
Couldn't send it to me Friday.
Couldn't send it to me Friday soI could just take the weekend.
(14:26):
No, we had to wait till Mondayat like 2 p.
m.
Love that for me.
Anyways, if anyone is listeningwho is a recruiter or in a role
position to hire, I Think aboutthe shit I'm saying and just be
considerate give them theweekend.
Okay, okay Anyways, the story isalmost over.
I promise because we're at thewe're at the we're getting to
(14:47):
the good part Through mydisarray because I can joke I
can joke about it now, but atthe time shit was not good.
I was feeling bleak I'mreflecting.
Okay, this isn't the rockbottom.
Like obviously I'm taking careof myself and then I'm looking
at like My work and my, my, myto do list, I put that in quote
marks because like I always havelike a thousand to do lists.
(15:08):
And I realized, oh shit, I'mactually knocking things off.
Hmm.
So I sat with that.
I sat with the fact that I wasstill accomplishing things, but
I felt numb.
And I also kind of felt like Iwas turning my back on the world
because I felt like the worldand the universe are turning its
back on me, so to speak.
Hey, it happens.
Devastation leads to darkthoughts.
(15:28):
It is what it is.
I am who I am.
And then I started sitting morewith the numbness, the pain, the
hurt, the disappointment, theego.
And I journaled, got some thingsout, and I kept coming to this
question of, Um, why do I goback to this, this mantra, this,
(15:48):
this comment of why am I notenough?
So in this whole experience, ithelped me kind of like start to
unpack some things that I hadn'treally thought about and also
like, wow, this drives a lot ofanxiety and things that I do.
And like this feeling that I, I,I'm, I'm less than like, you're
not going to be successfulbecause like, you're just not
(16:09):
that person to be.
So that's a whole differentconversation.
We call those child woundshopefully me just spilling all
my guts on this podcast is notlike scaring anybody.
Uh, I'm just being very open.
I'm an open book.
I can't help it.
It is what it is.
I mean, also like you'relistening to me.
So like I think you like it.
I hope you like it.
If not, this just got veryawkward, but In my
(16:34):
introspection, in my journaling,in this lost era feeling, really
depression but lost era, feels,feels better because what is
lost can be found, no punintended, not to be cheesy, but
also rediscovery.
And I'm like, wait a second,this dumbness is letting me get
more done.
(16:54):
I'm not feeling pressure by mylike.
you know, compulsive thoughtsand this and this and that and
that.
And like, I gotta do this.
I'm distracted.
Gotta do that.
Huh?
Who, who?
how can I take that into my dayto day?
But like, minus the numbfeeling.
And so I've been really focusedon the pressure.
Like anytime I feel pressure todo stuff, anytime I feel
pressure, like not even juststuff like Um, activities,
(17:15):
social outings, whatever, butlike pressure from myself, like
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm like, okay, let's addressthat.
So I am rewiring my nervoussystem anxiety.
I don't fucking know, but I amtrying to work on the pressure I
put on myself so that I can getmore done and more, more clear
things done because in thisperiod of like numbness the past
(17:39):
two weeks, I've gotten so muchdone.
I started a macrame project,which is like the, like the
knotting of the threads.
It's not like crochet oranything like that, but it's
like, I don't know, Google it.
M A C R O M E A M E somethinglike that.
Hopefully I just spelled thatright or else I probably sound
like an idiot.
I wasn't even thinking that, butjust like, that just like came
out on autopilot.
(17:59):
So, uh, anyways, put it intolike Siri, like, Macrame, Alexa
macrame.
Um, but I did that.
I read more than I have probablyall year.
I'm almost done with thisfreaking book.
Shout out to Thrones of Glass.
Is that what it's called?
Glass of Thrones?
Thrones of Glass?
It's that Sarah Mass book.
Anyways, all this to saysometimes things don't work out.
(18:24):
It's okay to feel.
Duh, it's okay to fucking feel.
It's okay to feel lost.
I mean, I still feel a littlelike I'm overwhelmed.
What am I doing with my life?
But I'm also like seeing how,okay, there's all these other
small things starting to workout and other areas of my life
that like I have also beenworking on job things, house
(18:45):
things, whatever.
So it's like, okay, well thenwhat was guiding me to this job?
Experience this interviewexperience this whole like this
is what I need to be focusing onanyway So I'm not giving up.
She's not and you know, I talkedabout how like that week that I
got the rejection, I did thefeelings episode.
Weirdly enough, I really neededthat, that message that week for
(19:07):
myself.
Then I start catching up on alot of podcasts that I've been,
I've been wanting to listen to.
And the first one I listened tois all about rejection and how
it's redirection.
And I'm just like, wait asecond, what?
So all of a sudden I'm gettingall these messages of like, why
you can't give up.
Why everyone, every hugesuccessful person has that big
(19:29):
moment where they're like, wait,shit.
It didn't work out again.
And this one was big.
What do I do?
Like, I'm never gonna make it.
Like, I keep trying years andyears.
And then, boom, you do have yourbig break.
You have your big moment.
Like, everyone's failure,rejection, is a part of their
story.
(19:50):
And I'm not saying, like, I hadto feel all this way just to get
knocked down, to make the waydown to the next step.
But maybe I did, maybe I do,maybe it's a testament to how I
came out of it.
I didn't let myself just sitthere.
I also want to say I think it'sa, it's, the fact that I had
that voice that was like youcan't give up is like a
testament to all the work I'vedone.
(20:10):
Like the constant effort oflike, alright, we are retraining
the narrative because we'regoing to talk to ourselves
nicely because survey says wedeserve it.
Thank you.
Anyways, I know this has kind ofgotten all over the place, but
that's where I've been.
Your girl's been a little lost.
And shout out to my friendKristen from the A Little Bit A
Lot podcast.
(20:31):
Uh, her and I talked like theFriday following, like, you
know, like that Friday after Igot the email and we talked for
like, I don't know, a couplehours actually.
And it was exactly what I neededbecause one, she's amazing, love
her.
But also.
Being able to talk to a creativefriend, especially a podcasting
friend about all the shit thatwe're doing and we're both
trying the same levels trying todo content, do our content,
(20:53):
create our content.
And what if you tried this, doesthis work this like, you know,
we're just out here hustling,but also really just like faking
it till we make it.
So I could have that camaraderieand like that workshopping with
her and just like honestlyventing sometimes of like, Oh,
let's feel sorry for myself forjust half a second.
But then I was also inspiredbecause you know, we didn't stay
low for long.
We were talking about what'snext and what we're gonna do and
(21:15):
how I'm gonna pivot or what I'mgonna do and she's gonna do and
just, it was amazing.
And I remember, I think it was,you know, it was like during the
conversation when I was tellingher my rejection and this and
this that and that.
I was like, so yeah, mytherapist said it's depression.
You know, it's going to be fine.
Like I'll get through it.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, or it's justyour lost girl era.
(21:36):
And I was like, Kristen, that'sgenius.
I frigging love that.
So shout out to Kristen.
I'm in my lost girl era.
Anyone listening, if you're inyour lost era, lost girl, lost
guy, lost whatever.
Hey.
I'm right there with you andthere's nothing wrong with it.
I came back with a greatepisode.
I still put out content lastweek.
(21:57):
I got so much shit going on.
I started doing my hobbies andinterests again.
I haven't felt near as stressedas I did before I got the
rejection email becausesometimes you just need a
refresher and sometimes thatrefresher, and maybe refresher
is not the right word.
You just need that check andmaybe it's rejection.
I don't think it's a pivot.
(22:18):
I think it's just a test to mycharacter of how I handle the
rejection, how I handle theloss, how I pick myself back up
by the bootstraps.
And I choose to do that because,what do I always say?
I say a lot of things, but we'rehere for a blip.
Life's so short.
Life is crazy.
It's amazing and crazy that weget to experience life.
(22:38):
So Sigh.
I'm not going to give up becausethere is still that feeling that
I'm going to, I'm going to sayit, that knowing that I'm going
to pull this off.
I'm going to make this thinghappen.
This thing, this dream of mine,these dreams of mine.
So I encourage you if you'refeeling rejected, if you're
(23:00):
feeling lost, if you're feelingjust, I don't know, exhausted,
overwhelmed, tired, frustrated,all of the things.
It's okay.
Sit with it.
Sit with it, remove the pressureand just sit with it.
Heal from it.
Grieve from it.
(23:22):
Grief, there is all friggindifferent kinds of grief I am
coming to learn.
There is the deep, heartwrenching, life defying grief of
losing something, someone soclose to you.
And then there's the grief ofthese kind of losses.
The grief and loss of, like,what you thought your life was
gonna be.
You thought where your life wasgoing, like, not to be, like,
dramatic about it, but It'sokay.
(23:44):
We're gonna have these momentsand, like, obviously, I'd be
crazy to think this is the lastrejection I'm ever gonna
receive.
Of course not.
Of course I'm gonna get morerejections.
Hopefully, maybe next time Iwon't be as devastated and get
knocked down as much as I didthis time.
Maybe I will though.
And if so, well, we'll crossthat bridge when we get there.
So, I'm grateful that I have agreat partner, Stan.
(24:07):
Shout out to my love, he isfantastic and he's been so
supportive.
My mom, I've got a really,really great support system.
So, I'm very grateful for that.
So, this is your note that, um,They can try and knock your girl
down, but she's always gonna getback up.
Okay, so now that we have gottenthrough the Lost Girl era, let's
(24:31):
talk about what's going on.
Yes.
Okay, so, alright.
In my, like, Lost Girl era,which we're still kind of in,
which we are still in, but we'refeeling better about, maybe I
should say, I have binge watchedLove Island USA season 6.
Now you all know that I am not areality TV girly.
(24:52):
Alright, I'm just not.
I'm a S I know I could be.
I just don't have time for itbut also like I would get into
it and maybe not every showwould be like this, but I know
that I would get very frustratedbecause at some point in my
head, I'm going to be like thismotherfucker is probably making
so much money now and this is sofrustratingly stupid and
(25:13):
annoying.
And also this is definitely asetup.
That's, I think that's really mything when it comes down to is
like the setups.
Cause like, I don't know.
Sometimes I'll watch interviewswith reality TV people and I'm
like, you're nothing like yourreality TV, like, persona.
So like, it's all an act.
I don't know.
I digress.
Now I feel like I'm just goingon some weird side tangent.
But with that said, if you'vebeen Living under a rock, you
(25:34):
probably haven't heard, but ifyou've touched Instagram and or
TikTok at any given point thepast, like, two months, you've
heard of Love Island.
I'm sure of it.
So I kept seeing all thischatter about it, and I was
like, I need to watch this.
Like, I feel like I need to getinto this.
So I went, had a girls weekendwhere we make maid candles and
all this, and I feel like maybeI did talk about this a couple
weeks ago, but I'm not quitesure.
(25:54):
Anyways, my girlfriend Samintroduced me, introduced me to
Love Island this season, and Iwas hooked.
I was like, this is kinda cool.
I know it's like a weirdconcept, all these strangers
living in a villa, like camerason them, like Big Brother style,
but, you know, I'm into it.
It's like, you know, they gotgames, challenges, it's about
finding romance, but they're alljust vibin hangin out.
What?
I'm into it.
(26:15):
I'm into it.
So, I watched, like, there wasone weekend in my, like, in the
past two weeks where Santa wentfishing in Blue Ridge and I
think I watched 20 episodes, um,over the course of like two
days.
I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed.
(26:35):
I watched that shit in threeweeks.
I watched 36, well, no, sorry.
35 frigging episodes in.
Do you know how much time thatis for somebody who like I
already mentioned in the first20 frickin minutes Like I'm
overwhelmed by this shit goingon, but let me just tackle in
like 30 Five plus hours ofreality TV.
(26:59):
When I take it back, absolutelynot.
Do I feel cultured?
I'm not going to lie.
I do.
Yes.
I feel like I am internetcultured and that feels so high.
Any millennial telling you thatthey, uh, they don't really care
to not be on trend is full ofshit.
To be a part of the conversationfeels so freaking good.
(27:26):
I can think of a few peoplelistening right now that know me
that are probably cringing sohard, but I don't care.
Let me live.
But despite being cultured onthe internet, it was good TV.
Okay.
Like of course there'sproblematic characters, but
there was like so much hearthttps: otter.
(27:46):
ai I was shocked, because myopinion of Rowdy TV is
definitely not much of any ofthe words I just used.
Sure, there was the problematicpeople, the problematic things,
the, you piece of, you knowwhat, why are you doing that?
But overall, it was justamazing, and All I gotta say is,
(28:10):
August 19th is the reunion, andI cannot freaking wait.
That's all I want to say.
I cannot freaking wait.
I cannot wait.
I always joke about how I'm apodcaster who's really bad about
listening to podcasts.
Well, just go into the littlegood old depression bucket and,
you know, reestablish, re findyourself, re find your hobbies,
(28:33):
rediscover your hobbies,rediscover your interests.
Here I am freaking reading abook.
Here I am freaking macromania.
Here I am watching Like watchingTik Toks and being a part of the
conversation and also knowingwhat the hell they're talking
about because well, your girlsseen the mother effing Love
Island doing this, doing that.
And I'm like, Oh, I love this.
I love this for me.
(28:53):
I feel like I feel like myselfagain.
I mean, I've been listening topodcasts.
I always say I'm really badabout catching up with my
podcasts as a podcaster.
And your girl's been listeningto podcasts.
Why?
Love Island, getting my ass backup in the podcast.
I've listened to so manypodcasts.
Podcasts I don't listen tonormally.
Vile files.
(29:13):
Call her daddy.
Well, I listen to Call Her Daddysometimes, but I, actually, I
didn't listen to that one.
I just watched clips.
Ugh, shame on you forinterviewing Rob! Uh, side note,
that's a different conversation.
Honestly, I love I'm just goingto say this.
I love Love Island so much thatI honestly want to make a bonus
episode where I just share mythoughts and feelings.
(29:35):
Is there any interest in that?
Does anybody care about LoveIsland, like Liz's pop culture
roundtable, where the roundtableis me, myself, and I?
And I can just go through allthe freaking podcasts I've
listened to, the TikToks I'veseen, and just Not that, like,
okay, maybe I should just likeslow my roll.
I have had a life outside ofthis.
I am just more so like, wow,your girl has sunk her teeth and
(29:55):
claws into this damn show.
And I love it.
I want to be Leah's friend.
I want to be Serena's friend,Jenae.
Oh, she's my girl.
PPG.
I want to be a part of PPG.
I want to be their friends.
Side note, if I was single, Iactually think I would love to
be on one of these shows becauselike, not for me finding love,
(30:15):
cause like whatever, but like, Iwould be a character.
I would have so much fun.
Maybe I'd be the villain.
I don't know.
I just, man, some of thesepeople I'd be like, all right,
listen here, buddy.
Stop being an asshole.
Anyways, I'm getting crazy.
If you've watched it, I need totalk about it.
Maybe I will do a bonus episode,but Love Island has consumed me.
So shout out to getting back intouch with myself, rediscovering
(30:38):
my interests, finding a newobsession, and somewhere along
the process trying to, I don'tknow, Keep the flow of no
pressure, but also like not feellike I'm so much in a rut still
You know what I mean?
Like feeling positive.
I'll get there.
I'll get there.
I'll get there.
still obsessed with ChapelRowan, of course God, I love
(30:59):
Chapel Rowan.
I saw someone say that she'slike our generation's Freddie
Mercury I don't want to say thatbecause like he is amazing and
like I don't want to like takeaway from anything that He
represents to anyone, especiallyme, not that he represents, I
don't even know why the fuck Ijust said that.
That was like, so dramatic.
Don't get me wrong, I love mesome Freddie Mercury, love me
(31:19):
some Queen, but like, I justmade it seem like this man's my
idol.
I don't even know if I have anidol.
Maybe Glennon Doyle or HeatherMcMahon.
Anyways, um, wow, okay.
So, where was I?
Generations, uh, FreddieMercury.
I think she's her own thing.
Sure.
She's got elements of otherpeople, but honestly, that bitch
is, she is incredible.
(31:41):
I am obsessed with her more thananything.
And one of these days I willmeet her and I'll have her on
the podcast and we'll be bestfriends.
And, um, yeah, God bless.
I love her.
Chapel chapel.
If you're hearing this chapel,which I know that's like the
slimmest chance to none, butlike give your girl a call.
So, okay.
Let's see, other things to talkabout before we talk about a few
(32:02):
life updates and then I'll getout of here so some things have
been going on politically, blinkblink, blink blink, like, what
the fuck?
Um, I try not to talk aboutpolitics, so I'm not gonna get
too much into it.
But, One more time.
What the fuck?
Uh, the thing that I will sayis, Kamala's running for
(32:24):
president.
Okay.
Her campaign's unhinged.
Okay.
I'm obsessed.
Okay.
Uh, you know, I just, the onepolitical thing I'm going to
talk about is Kamala's campaign.
It's genius.
If you haven't seen it, youprobably haven't been on tick
tock then, but she's reallytapped into that Charlie XCX
(32:44):
brat summer, like the green withthe brat.
I'm sure you've seen that too.
And it's just like crazy,whatever, like, I mean, whether
she has Gen Z interns, whetherit's some like, you know, I saw
this one video that was like,that is some old millennial that
has seen every corner of theinternet, you know, making her
campaigns either way, even ifit's all of the above.
(33:06):
Yeah.
I just want to marvel at thefact that she's trying to tap
into the 40 million Gen Zeligible voters for this
upcoming election.
So she is literally trying topander to this audience, this
huge 40 million eligible votersfor this election.
That is fucking genius.
(33:26):
So now I feel like I got to goresearch her cause I really
don't know much.
I don't know much about nothing.
I'm coming to realize, but Ialso know a lot about something.
So it's just like, you knowwhat?
You just keep going.
You just keep going.
You just keep swimming.
All right.
That was weird.
Sorry.
Anyways.
Um, politics, I don't know whatthe hell's going on.
WTF.
But like shout out to Kamala'scampaign.
I'm here for it because I'mlike, you know what, genius,
(33:50):
genius.
Anyways, one other thing that Isaw on the internet that I
thought was, um, oh, one otherthing that I saw on the internet
that I thought was veryinteresting.
Half the time, I don't know ifthese things are real because
they seem so ridiculous.
I'm like, this has got to befake.
Like, this is not real, right?
but it was like some AI companythat is putting out.
A companion necklace and it'snot supposed to do anything like
(34:12):
order your food like an Alexa orlike a Siri It's like literally
something that is always on thatlistens to you that you can talk
to and talks back It's likethey're calling it friend Now, I
didn't really deep dive too muchinto this, but it was like in my
little tech business newsletterI get every morning and the
owner, founder, whatever, spent1.
(34:32):
8 million to secure the friends.
com domain.
So www.
friends.
com.
Apparently there's some tea,some drama with it.
I mean, my first initialreaction is who the hell is
going to buy this?
And like the, the newsletter,like.
Commented on other failed AIwearable technology launches
(34:54):
that didn't get anywhere.
Uh, I don't know.
I mean, I could see someonewho's lonely maybe wanting it.
So, like, I don't want to talk,like, smack about it.
But it's just like, I don'tknow.
maybe it's just theiradvertisement for it was so
weird.
It was like, I saw a lot ofpeople talking about how they
thought it was like a, um, blackmirror announcement.
(35:16):
Just go watch it.
Go, go Google friends AIwearable ad and then come back
and tell me how you felt becauseI felt a little weirded out.
Not gonna lie.
I was like, Hmm, Hmm.
I feel like I shouldn't feelweird, but I feel very weird by
this.
Okay.
Okay.
Moving on.
(35:38):
Before we get out of here, let'stalk a little bit about what the
hell's been going on in my lifeoutside of like, you know, the
first half of this episode.
So a couple of things.
Um, one, we put an offer on ahome.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
We're not getting the home.
Oh my God.
No, I'm okay.
That's a rejection.
I actually could handle.
The thing I'm going to say aboutthis is me and Stan are not
(35:59):
going to get bamboozled by ahome.
All right, we're not.
We're not.
We know we can afford and that'sthe way the cookie crumbles.
I have seen enough homes to knowthat there's negotiations and
here and there and there andthere.
But, if you tell me a group ofinvestors, group, that was where
you failed the first time, agroup.
So you're telling me a group ofpeople own this home.
(36:19):
A group of investors are beinggreedy and then they like, you
know, want to play hardball butthen they keep coming back to us
because our financing is sostrong.
I'm not gonna budge.
I'm not gonna be bullied.
I'm not gonna be budged becauseguess friggin what?
If I've lived in this frigginapartment as long as I have now,
I can live in it a little bitlonger.
(36:42):
I mean, what is my sanity?
Some more.
You know, like, who needs theirsanity nowadays?
Everyone's crazy out there.
So like, let me just join them.
I might actually feel betterabout things.
Life might be more fun.
If you can't Wait, if you can'tbeat them, join them?
Let's all just go cuckoo forCocoa Puffs.
Anyways, um, it was, it was agood exercise because we've
(37:03):
never actually fully put anoffer on a home.
And you know, we have a newrealtor, and I just have to be
honest, no hate, no shame to thepast realtor, but like, uh, very
different experiences.
It was like, uh, Crazy, likecrunching the numbers, not
crunching, but like going backand forth with the lender,
getting this, getting that tolike, you know, come up with the
right offer, but it reallywasn't as stressful and crazy
(37:26):
intensive.
Like I thought it was going tobe basically like our other
realtor was going to make uscome up with everything on our
own.
Like earnest money, this andthis, that, and that day
periods, a due diligence, likeall this shit that I'm like, I'm
overwhelmed.
I don't know any of this.
Yeah.
And our realtor, our new one'slike, Oh no, I take care of all
that for you.
I just go over it with you.
And I'm like, Oh God, bless you.
(37:46):
God, you're so amazing.
So, fun fire drill.
I'm not disappointed.
The house wasn't like perfect,perfect, but like it was really
great.
It was like enough to like putan offer on, so we'll see.
We'll see.
Here's the fun fact.
That group of investors, theykeep coming back with us trying
to like make us change our offerbecause they like our, our, I
guess our, our, I don't know,financing.
I don't freaking know.
(38:06):
It's all just a game and I feellike I'm the one getting played,
but at some point you just haveto accept it, you know, cause
that's part of playing the game.
Anyways, before I getdisgruntled about that, the
truth is, who knows, maybe thisis her house because like it's
been two weeks now and they keepcoming back.
So, they keep, they keep cominglike closer and closer to like
the number we want.
So, we'll see.
(38:27):
I'm not holding my breath.
Right.
Um, the other thing I was goingto talk about, and I told myself
that I was going to researchthis before I brought it up to
the pod, but of course yourgirl, ding ding ding, has not.
However, I have to tell youabout it.
So, my mom will send me somelike, Not like conspiracy theory
(38:49):
crazy like videos, reels,whatever on TikTok or Instagram,
but like she'll send me somethings where I'm like, all
right, where did you find this?
This is, this is silly.
Um, but like also she'll send mea lot of like massage therapy,
stretching, mobility, thingslike that.
Because like my mom was amassage therapist back in the
day.
Well, she sends me this one reelthat was about like EMF waves
(39:10):
from your Apple watch and how itcan cause pain.
Now.
You guys know I have chronicpain, it's such a great time, my
neck, shoulders, knees and toes,just kidding, really my neck and
shoulders, but also my hips.
So I'm watching it and before Ieven like, I'm like five seconds
in, I'm like, okay, what thehell is this about your Apple
watch causing pain?
(39:31):
So it's some chiropractor, he'stalking about EMF waves in your
wrist and blah, blah, Like.
I'm like really butchering thestory now that I realize it, but
he's like using this kid, thisguy, stretching his neck and
showing the difference when hetakes the watch off.
Whether or not that was Houdinishit or not, it was enough where
I was like, Huh.
(39:52):
So my first reaction is alwaysto go to the comments.
So you get through all the crazycomments and then you start
getting to people going, No,there's some truth here, this or
this, that or that, whatever.
This is not me saying that Ibelieve in EMF waves.
I don't really understand whatthey are completely.
However, when I Googled it, Ifind all of these articles on
apple.
(40:12):
com, like, you know, Apple'scommunity support system or not
support system, but like, youknow, like the community forums
or whatever, when you needsupport.
And I'm seeing so many peopletalk about EMF with their Apple
watch or their AirPods.
And then like, you see theseother.
Articles and like they're notjust like random weird third
party blog sites like reputablesources talking about AMF
(40:35):
blockage all together not justlike specific to Apple but it's
enough where I'm like Okay, youknow what I'm always in mother
effing chronic pain I will trythis exercise just for fun
because I am somebody who wearstheir Apple watch every single
day I don't sleep in it, but Iwear it every single day Y'all
Y'all.
(40:56):
Two days I have not been wearingmy motherfucking Apple Watch.
Don't ask me how.
I don't even have the words tocommunicate like the r like The
lack of pain, or I should say, Istill have pain, I still have my
chronic pain, but it's the lackof additional pain.
The fact that my neck and my,like, my neck, my, like, my
shoulders haven't been crampingand, and getting so tight that
(41:18):
I'm miserable as much as theyhave been the past, like, six
months.
What the fuck?
for my Love Island fans, in thewords of Kayler, FUUUCK!
Seriously, what the fuck?
What?
I'm not, I'm not saying take offyour Apple watch.
I'm just saying if you have painand you chronically wear it, you
(41:39):
chronically wear your Applewatch, take it off and just try
two days, two freaking days.
I can't believe it.
I'm shook.
So now I'm having to deal withlike the borderline identity
crisis of not wearing my Applewatch.
Cause I'm like, Oh, it's notthere.
That's awkward.
And then being like, Oh, I can'ttell the time right off the bat.
I can't look at my counter rightoff the bat.
(42:01):
I feel like a piece of me isgone.
But I'm like, all right, it'stechnology.
Liz, get the fuck over yourself.
So we're moving forward, movingon.
Gosh.
So, um, EMF waves, apparentlythat's a thing.
I don't know if it's likeaffecting me because of my
injuries and my, I don't know.
I don't, my trigger points, Ihave no idea.
I don't know.
Maybe it's like, what is thelike amoeba effect or something?
(42:22):
Like where you think like, Idon't even know what I'm saying
right now, but hopefully forthose who have an idea, get it.
And if you don't, well, welcometo my life.
I don't even know what thatmeans.
Um, but moving forward, Watchyour Apple watches and watch
your AirPods.
So the last thing I want toupdate you on is, well, I'm
(42:45):
about to bust out cause I'mhungry as hell.
I got to go eat.
Got so much to do cause I'mgoing to New Orleans for my
girl, Maggie's bachelorette.
I'm going to eat so much effingCajun food.
You, I hope I don't hurt mystomach cause like I don't
really do spicy, but like spicyis going to do me.
That's for damn sure.
Can't wait.
It's supposed to be a hotterthan a witch's tit.
So whatever that phrase evenmeans, I don't even know.
(43:07):
But the point being, I don'tknow what to wear because like I
hate being hot and sticky and Ifeel like I'm going to be hot
and sticky.
So that's fun.
But the last thing I want tomention, have I talked about
this on the podcast?
I can't remember, but.
I am trying to, oh yeah, I thinkI have talked about some
podcasts.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm trying to pitch some NewYork people, creators,
(43:30):
influencers, artists, chefs, allof the things, podcasters to
join me for an episode on the inbetween while I'm in New York at
the end of August.
Well, it is August, the month.
So I've used chat GPT to kind ofhelp me with the email templates
because like, you know, I don'tknow.
It's hard getting out of yourown way and getting out of your
own head.
And I'm saying, so thank you,Chad, GBT for being my resource
(43:50):
there.
Uh, but trying to suss through,cause like, I don't want to send
just like a generic email, youknow, cause like we know how
that makes people feel, but Idon't want to just send
something like, because I willget random people from like
podcast management companies,like pitching me the most
randomest people that like,honestly, I, I would never
interview like I, you know whatI mean?
(44:12):
I don't want to say, oh, I don'tcare about what they talk about,
but it's like their vibe, theirbrand, their schtick, whatever,
like it's not for me, not fory'all, not for what we want,
right?
And then like, the same podcastmanagement company will send me
three different people and like,the beginning of their emails
are always the same and it'slike, I love your podcast, the
in between, that last episodewas great, it's like so generic
(44:33):
and like, honestly, if someonelike me, who, you know, is a
small fry trying to pretendthey're a big fry at the moment,
like, I don't like that.
I mean, I don't like, go and cryabout it and take it to heart,
but I'm just like, ugh.
I always want to make sure I'mpersonable, so that's where I'm
like overthinking it, but like,researching, making sure I'm
like, you know, trying to findthe best parts, like, best parts
of the person, but like, youknow, the things that I think
(44:54):
really resonate, like, that Ilike about them, that I think we
can connect on, whatever,whatever.
So, the point I'm trying to makeis, the energy and effort it
puts, or it takes to put intothese emails, like, I was not
prepared for.
So throw in the impostersyndrome with it.
I'm just like over hereexhausted.
I've only sent four.
(45:15):
I just need y'all to root for meand be like, girl, don't be
nervous.
Don't be insecure.
Stop thinking you, you ain't thething.
You are the thing.
You're going to be the thingbecause you are the thing and
like shoot your freaking shot.
It's like, I'm like, what is theworst that's gonna happen?
Like, they ignore you.
Okay, but like, somehow that,which is like the truth, has now
(45:37):
turned into, they're gonnaignore you because you were
pathetic, because like, You donot have a bajillion followers.
And not that I'm trying to reachout to people with billions of
followers.
Cause like, also I know the laneI'm supposed to stay in, but you
know, a couple hundred thousand,I'm just like, hi guys.
I am a millennial, formertheater kid who loves self love,
(45:59):
be my friend.
I'm just kidding.
I hope I'm more than that.
But anyways, God, this is moreof a rhetorical question, but
it's just, uh, Root for yourgirly because I like major
imposter syndrome vibes, butit's going to work out.
I hope I feel like it.
It's got to going to, what arethe odds of like one out of
(46:22):
four?
Like saying, yes, I feel like Ineed more.
So also if you have any New Yorkcity, New York, like people that
you think, Oh my gosh, you haveto reach out to this person
would love.
Would love your, um, notesprobably need to get this
handled ASAP because like thisis going to be like in four
weeks, but we'll get there.
We'll get there.
Anyways, I've had enough of yourtime.
It's been great to be back.
Great to connect.
I have a fantastic guest comingon the podcast next week.
(46:44):
Her name is Rosa Castaño.
Uh, save that for next week, buty'all are in for a treat.
It's gonna be great.
And yeah, we'll just keep, keepthem going.
So.
Hang in there.
Remember, rejection is just apart of the life, just a part of
the story, just a part of thechapter.
It's a bump in the road and youwill get through it.
Sit in the feelings and justknow that, like, you can't give
(47:05):
up.
And whatever is waiting for youis literally around the corner.
I promise.
Don't be like me and think,well, I've been saying that for
months now, years it feels like.
No, it's coming.
It's all been building towardsthis.
That's the truth.
I hope you have a great rest ofyour week.
Pray that I don't melt in NewOrleans, but also pray that I
(47:26):
eat my body's worth in Cajunfood.
Ha! And if you're not doing soalready, please follow me on
Instagram at elizabethciniunderscore and at in.
betweenpod.
YouTube and TikTok at theinbetweenpodcast.
So, give your girls some love.
Um, send me a follow, send me amessage, send me a hi.
Also if you're enjoying thepodcast, I'd really appreciate a
rating, review, subscribe,follow, all the things, whether
(47:48):
it's Spotify, Apple, whereveryou listen to your podcasts.
And that would be great.
Those are my housekeeping thingsbefore I let you out of here.
So on that note, have a greatweek.
Live your best life.
Live your best self.
Remember you're special.
Remember no matter what, it'scoming.
Just don't give up.
Don't give up.
And also know that sometimespivoting, redirection, it's not
(48:11):
giving up.
It's just evolving, right?
Like plans change, dreamschange, things grow, man, this
thing's evolved way more thanwhat it originally was going to
be and that's the beauty andjourney of it.
So it being life, you know whatI mean?
You know what I mean?
So on that note, I'll let yougo.
I'll see you next week on an allday in between.
I'm Elizabeth.
Bye.
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to an all newepisode of the in between.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney,and I guess I should be saying,
welcome back Elizabeth to the inbetween.
Oh my goodness.
Yes.
Your girl took a little break.
She took a little break.
you know, Sometimes we needbreaks, and as I was laying out
(00:28):
this week's episode, organizingmy thoughts, always a fun
pastime of mine, uh, butorganizing my thoughts and the
topics and things I wanted tohit, I was thinking about the
order, Do I give all the lifeupdates and all the things that
have piqued my interest over thepast few weeks since we last had
a one on one session?
You know what I mean?
Or do I just start with, like,what's been going on and why I
(00:49):
needed a break?
And since the in between is allabout real, authentic
conversations, Honestly, I don'teven know if I could be fake if
I'm being, if I'm beingcompletely frank with you.
But I was like, you know what,I'm just gonna get into it
because this is a safe space.
Y'all my peoples.
At least I would hope so.
If you're listening to mypodcast, you're into me.
(01:10):
But I wanted to get into my lostgirl era.
That is what I'm calling it.
What it really is, is justdepression.
not that depression is a badword, but for me, I'm going to
reframe it as my lost girl era.
So I'm gonna try my best not tomake this like some very long,
layered journey for a story.
(01:30):
Like turn it into a quest.
Because I think I can do that.
Not that I'm a bad storyteller,but like we got lots of things
to talk about.
Ahem.
Cough, cough.
Love Island.
More on that momentarily.
But, let's see.
Where did it all begin?
So I always have so manydifferent things going on.
That is just who I am.
I am what they call anoverachiever.
(01:52):
But with podcasts and the job,it's a lot.
Well, what y'all didn't reallyknow is behind the scenes, I've
also been like looking for a newjob.
I'm not gonna get into all ofthat, um, because that's like a
different episode for adifferent day, and that has a
lot of nuance to it.
With that said, I've beenlooking for a while.
The job market is not ideal.
So for all of my friends outthere who are in it with me,
(02:15):
hugs and eat some candy becauseit's emotional.
Dear me.
So I, I've been applying andgetting rejections.
I've gone through referrals, thewhole ship and caboodle.
So part of why my focus waslooking for a job is back.
I don't know, back in April,March, I was like universe,
whoever is listening, pleasehelp me figure out, do I need to
(02:38):
spend my efforts looking for ahouse or looking for a job?
Because doing both and workingmy actual job and doing the
podcast and everything else wasjust a little too much, you know
what I mean?
So I was like, please someonehelp me because I'm immobilized,
I already have task paralysis.
So imagine how that translatesto my life when I have like all
(03:00):
these huge things that, youknow, take up a lot of time and
energy.
Well, let's just say theuniverse was like, here's your
answer.
So I started looking for a job.
Well, to get discouraged.
It's easier said than done.
I mean, I've been through thetrenches in my own mental
health.
So, you know.
I'm not trying to say I've gotit figured out, but I can pick
(03:20):
myself up by the bootstraps alittle bit easier than I used
to, you know what I mean?
So, rejection, rejection,rejection, after rejection, Some
of these are even through, likemost of these actually were
through referrals, so like, itjust is not an ideal time.
And, you know, no conversationaround the economy, but like,
what the hell's going on?
(03:41):
I don't even know, I don't evenknow.
But anyways.
I found this role that seemedperfect for what I was looking
for.
And I'm going to try and saythis story without it sounding
too, too cheesy, but let's justsay everything was lining up.
Not only was this exactly what Iwas looking for, the way in
which the timeline was workingin the way in which my projects
(04:03):
were lining up, it was liketransitions like, Ooh, this is
clear.
Like it just seemed like it was,everything was working out.
One thing that I've talked aboutand one thing that I've also
been like holding on is like I'mabout to enter my season Of
winning, you know, I've beenthrough the shit and I mean not
to say that I can control how mylife goes Like that's a whole
other conversation between is itfate?
(04:24):
Do we have choice?
That's some things I've beenmusing over lately, but what I
mean is like I want to claim it.
I want to own it I want to beconfident Because through this
whole journey of life, really,but just, you know, making the
choice, feeling like I was beingguided into where I need to
spend my efforts and my focus.
I felt like, Oh wow, this is allbeen building up to this, right?
(04:48):
And then how it kept working outand like the check marks it was
hitting and it was interviewafter interview.
And before I knew it, I was allthe way through every final
round, every single round ofinterviews I had gotten through
every single round.
To the point that I'm just goingto be honest.
The hiring manager was like, I'dhire you right now if I could,
because I still had a few morerounds at that point in the
game.
(05:09):
So with this feeling of, Whoa, Ithink this is it.
And feeling that in my gut, inmy intuition, and then like,
rather than being insecure orhaving imposter syndrome or
thinking, Oh, I don't deserveit.
I'm not good enough.
I was like, no, fuck that.
I am good enough.
I'm claiming it.
I've been busting my ass doingthe like two jobs of the podcast
(05:30):
on my actual job and trying todo this and also look for a
house and keep my sanity andalso like cry every other week
because I miss my dog sofreaking much like it's a lot.
But somehow I'm not like gettingtaken under and I'm gonna make
it.
I'm gonna get through.
I am gonna do the damn thingbecause I've been at my rock
bottom.
I'm not going back.
Like, Oh, you know what I mean?
(05:50):
Like not going back.
Like I have, I owe it to myselfto keep going.
So, I claim it, I'm owning it,people, I didn't really share it
with a lot of people, but thosethat I did, my, my, my mom, my,
my family, like my, some of myfriends, they were like, wait,
this is your job.
This is it.
Like, we all felt it.
It was a weird thing.
Right?
Right.
And then, randomly, like a weekafter the final interview, I get
(06:14):
an automated rejection email.
Automated meaning, dear ma'am,right?
So, not really personalized,very just, wow, humbling.
Sure, we'll just say that wordfor now.
But like, to be honest, anyplace I've ever interviewed,
especially if I've actuallyinterviewed, even if it was just
like a recruiter screening, I'vealways at least had like a
(06:36):
person respond back to me.
So that was fun, you know, tomake it through every round.
Um, I was devastated.
I was crushed.
I was desperate to get out of mycurrent job because I just, I'm
ready for things to change.
Like I'm ready for the nextstep.
We've been in this apartment.
I've been in this job for somany years.
It's time for me to grow andspread my wings because I just
(06:57):
don't feel like I'm beingchallenged enough.
But at the same time, I do, Seeopportunity there, but you need
to pay me more right?
I need to make more money I needto make more money to be able to
like comfortably afford mygroceries and not feel like oh
Well, I could like start forlunch today and like maybe skip
dinner tomorrow.
I'm just kidding It's not thatdramatic.
But like also groceries arefucking expensive.
(07:18):
So Call me when your grocerybill is like under 100 That'd be
great because I feel like evenas a single person it would it
would still be be ghastly.
But anyways, I digress so,feeling like I've been stuck
even though I haven't beengiving up because I've been
feeling this momentum and I'mmaking little progress here and
here with the, with the podcastwith this and trying to make
(07:40):
sure my personal life is stayingwith it and trying to keep it
all together and just, Also, notcrumble by the pressure of like
the mountain I feel like I'mholding, of all these big time
energy consuming things I'mfocusing on and struggling to be
like, I don't know how to let goof some of it.
That's why I was like focus onthe house, focus on the job,
(08:00):
focus on the job.
So to finally after so long feellike I was finally there and to
feel it and to claim it and to,for real, for real, not have
imposter syndrome, not secondguess myself, literally,
literally.
Literally was not insecure, itwas wild.
It was the first time, like,really where I was like, Wow, my
inner narrative is not at allgaslighting me.
(08:21):
This is so wonderful.
Oh, nice to meet you Liz, I loveyou.
And then to get that, and thento get the rejection, like, it
devastated me.
And it was more than just, like,not getting the job.
Sure, that hurt my ego.
Sure, it made me frustrated.
Like, why do I keep gettingrejections?
What am I missing here?
(08:42):
How come I keep getting so closeso many times and then it's
like, I just, this is just outof reach.
That's what it feels like.
It's just out of reach.
And then I was devastatedbecause I felt like I really
believed in myself at the time.
I was like, for the first time Ireally believed in myself, but
(09:04):
that's kind of what it felt likethe first time to like truly
like send it, you know what Imean?
And like, not doubt myself atfrigging all.
And feeling, wow, it didn't workout.
The one time that you truly likeput yourself on a limb in terms
of like self belief and you gotrejected.
feeling like I was finally gonnabe able to break out of my, you
(09:26):
know, break into a new role,break into a new opportunity, a
new chapter and feel a littleless stuck.
Because then, you know, makemore money, maybe you can
comfortably afford the housebetter.
You can afford a better house,you can afford a home at least
more comfortably at bare minimumbecause homes are crazy
expensive.
and I just sat there with it.
(09:46):
I was devastated.
I wanted to give up.
I was like, what is it all for?
I am so tired of being rejected.
And feeling like I'm chasing mytail, getting nowhere fast,
knowing that I have to let go ofsome of this stress so I can get
more done and feel like afreaking sane person half the
time.
But I don't know how because Igotta work.
(10:08):
I'm not giving up the podcast.
That's part of the struggle.
That's just part of like, youknow, the come up story.
What about all this other shit?
What do I do?
And yes, as somebody with ADHDand maybe borderline control
issues, I would like a frigginmanual of the choices I need to
make to get to the path I want.
But that's part of life.
(10:29):
But anyways, I was really sad.
I was, I was in a, I was in ahole.
I think the biggest thing was,Feeling like I lost my
spirituality, like I lost myconnection to something more
than myself, right?
Like, I don't want to use theword religion because it's not
that, but I don't know, maybeit's just, it comes down to like
(10:52):
a disconnection from myself andmy core beliefs of me.
Thank God I also had therapythat week, so that was like
crucial timing.
We like when those things likeline up perfectly, right?
So not to get into all the weedsand details really of.
The hindsight 2020 afterafterthoughts, after
reflections.
(11:12):
I want to say that, I don'tknow, three or four days after I
got the rejection email.
Oh, actually, before I even getto that point, what really,
really fun salt in the wounds.
Like two days after theautomated rejection email, the
recruiter reaches back out to meand is like, Hey, you should
hear next steps next week.
And I'm like, excuse me, um, Igot a rejection email.
So what does that mean?
(11:33):
And then they were like, Oh, Iguess the team decided.
So that was fun.
Very dramatic.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
you know, it's not even an egothing.
I'm just like, well.
Like I feel like Olaf fromFrozen during summer, like
without the little like magicalcloud, you know, he's just like
I'm having a good time, but he'smelted, you know, that's, that's
like where I was mentally like,Oh, this is good.
(11:53):
This is good.
This is fun.
So, anyways, like four daysafter I get the notice that I'm
not, I'm no longer beingforward, I couldn't ignore the
fact that although I was numb, Iwas still getting things done.
So I picked up that this was adifferent type of depression
than the like the first one thatI remembered like the one that
was like my rock frickin bottombecause I was, I was washing my
(12:14):
face, I was brushing my teeth, Iwas eating my, I was making sure
I was eating all my meals, I wassleeping, eh, not, not great,
but like I was sleeping, youknow, I immediately noticed,
okay, this isn't horriblebecause like, I'm taking care of
myself.
That's great.
Okay, cool.
I still felt numb, but there waslike this voice literally inside
(12:39):
me, like just over and overagain, like you can't give up no
matter how many tears I cried,no matter how much I just was
like, forget the universe.
Screw you turning my back.
What benefit have you been?
But me just believing myself tobe shot in the mud.
Fuck the universe.
Fuck my ability to get a newjob.
(13:00):
Just fuck it all.
That's really how I felt, butalso with like lots of crocodile
tears.
You know, I was in my feels.
Despite all of that, there wasthis voice in me.
Voice that was just like, youcan't give up, bitch.
Like you can't it was a littlebit nicer at first.
It was like, I know you'rehurting, but you can't give up.
I know you want to but you can'tgive up.
(13:21):
I know it's hard.
You can't give up.
Some people have it easier.
You're right, but you can't giveup.
Some people have it harder.
You can't give up.
Like every single scenariorunning through my head.
And after sitting with myselfand not putting pressure on
myself because well, I feltnumb.
I was in a rut, you know, I wason a rock and a hard place.
(13:41):
I wasn't feeling the jumble ofthoughts because I've like, I
gotta go do this and do that anddo that.
And like maybe my ADHD wasn'tactivated so to speak, if that
makes any sense.
And I realized, okay, I'm takingcare of myself, but also I'm
still doing things.
Like the week I got rejected, IS I put out an episode, I was
still able to edit it.
And ironically it was thefeelings one kind of, you know,
(14:05):
not that I forgot what the topicwas, but like I wasn't thinking
about it when I went into editit.
And then I was like, Oh shit, Ineed to hear this message this
week.
How fitting.
And so I started reflecting overthe week, definitely not the
first few days cause thishappened on a Monday, way to
kick off your week.
You're rejected.
Couldn't send it to me Friday.
Couldn't send it to me Friday soI could just take the weekend.
(14:26):
No, we had to wait till Mondayat like 2 p.
m.
Love that for me.
Anyways, if anyone is listeningwho is a recruiter or in a role
position to hire, I Think aboutthe shit I'm saying and just be
considerate give them theweekend.
Okay, okay Anyways, the story isalmost over.
I promise because we're at thewe're at the we're getting to
(14:47):
the good part Through mydisarray because I can joke I
can joke about it now, but atthe time shit was not good.
I was feeling bleak I'mreflecting.
Okay, this isn't the rockbottom.
Like obviously I'm taking careof myself and then I'm looking
at like My work and my, my, myto do list, I put that in quote
marks because like I always havelike a thousand to do lists.
(15:08):
And I realized, oh shit, I'mactually knocking things off.
Hmm.
So I sat with that.
I sat with the fact that I wasstill accomplishing things, but
I felt numb.
And I also kind of felt like Iwas turning my back on the world
because I felt like the worldand the universe are turning its
back on me, so to speak.
Hey, it happens.
Devastation leads to darkthoughts.
(15:28):
It is what it is.
I am who I am.
And then I started sitting morewith the numbness, the pain, the
hurt, the disappointment, theego.
And I journaled, got some thingsout, and I kept coming to this
question of, Um, why do I goback to this, this mantra, this,
(15:48):
this comment of why am I notenough?
So in this whole experience, ithelped me kind of like start to
unpack some things that I hadn'treally thought about and also
like, wow, this drives a lot ofanxiety and things that I do.
And like this feeling that I, I,I'm, I'm less than like, you're
not going to be successfulbecause like, you're just not
(16:09):
that person to be.
So that's a whole differentconversation.
We call those child woundshopefully me just spilling all
my guts on this podcast is notlike scaring anybody.
Uh, I'm just being very open.
I'm an open book.
I can't help it.
It is what it is.
I mean, also like you'relistening to me.
So like I think you like it.
I hope you like it.
If not, this just got veryawkward, but In my
(16:34):
introspection, in my journaling,in this lost era feeling, really
depression but lost era, feels,feels better because what is
lost can be found, no punintended, not to be cheesy, but
also rediscovery.
And I'm like, wait a second,this dumbness is letting me get
more done.
(16:54):
I'm not feeling pressure by mylike.
you know, compulsive thoughtsand this and this and that and
that.
And like, I gotta do this.
I'm distracted.
Gotta do that.
Huh?
Who, who?
how can I take that into my dayto day?
But like, minus the numbfeeling.
And so I've been really focusedon the pressure.
Like anytime I feel pressure todo stuff, anytime I feel
pressure, like not even juststuff like Um, activities,
(17:15):
social outings, whatever, butlike pressure from myself, like
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm like, okay, let's addressthat.
So I am rewiring my nervoussystem anxiety.
I don't fucking know, but I amtrying to work on the pressure I
put on myself so that I can getmore done and more, more clear
things done because in thisperiod of like numbness the past
(17:39):
two weeks, I've gotten so muchdone.
I started a macrame project,which is like the, like the
knotting of the threads.
It's not like crochet oranything like that, but it's
like, I don't know, Google it.
M A C R O M E A M E somethinglike that.
Hopefully I just spelled thatright or else I probably sound
like an idiot.
I wasn't even thinking that, butjust like, that just like came
out on autopilot.
(17:59):
So, uh, anyways, put it intolike Siri, like, Macrame, Alexa
macrame.
Um, but I did that.
I read more than I have probablyall year.
I'm almost done with thisfreaking book.
Shout out to Thrones of Glass.
Is that what it's called?
Glass of Thrones?
Thrones of Glass?
It's that Sarah Mass book.
Anyways, all this to saysometimes things don't work out.
(18:24):
It's okay to feel.
Duh, it's okay to fucking feel.
It's okay to feel lost.
I mean, I still feel a littlelike I'm overwhelmed.
What am I doing with my life?
But I'm also like seeing how,okay, there's all these other
small things starting to workout and other areas of my life
that like I have also beenworking on job things, house
(18:45):
things, whatever.
So it's like, okay, well thenwhat was guiding me to this job?
Experience this interviewexperience this whole like this
is what I need to be focusing onanyway So I'm not giving up.
She's not and you know, I talkedabout how like that week that I
got the rejection, I did thefeelings episode.
Weirdly enough, I really neededthat, that message that week for
(19:07):
myself.
Then I start catching up on alot of podcasts that I've been,
I've been wanting to listen to.
And the first one I listened tois all about rejection and how
it's redirection.
And I'm just like, wait asecond, what?
So all of a sudden I'm gettingall these messages of like, why
you can't give up.
Why everyone, every hugesuccessful person has that big
(19:29):
moment where they're like, wait,shit.
It didn't work out again.
And this one was big.
What do I do?
Like, I'm never gonna make it.
Like, I keep trying years andyears.
And then, boom, you do have yourbig break.
You have your big moment.
Like, everyone's failure,rejection, is a part of their
story.
(19:50):
And I'm not saying, like, I hadto feel all this way just to get
knocked down, to make the waydown to the next step.
But maybe I did, maybe I do,maybe it's a testament to how I
came out of it.
I didn't let myself just sitthere.
I also want to say I think it'sa, it's, the fact that I had
that voice that was like youcan't give up is like a
testament to all the work I'vedone.
(20:10):
Like the constant effort oflike, alright, we are retraining
the narrative because we'regoing to talk to ourselves
nicely because survey says wedeserve it.
Thank you.
Anyways, I know this has kind ofgotten all over the place, but
that's where I've been.
Your girl's been a little lost.
And shout out to my friendKristen from the A Little Bit A
Lot podcast.
(20:31):
Uh, her and I talked like theFriday following, like, you
know, like that Friday after Igot the email and we talked for
like, I don't know, a couplehours actually.
And it was exactly what I neededbecause one, she's amazing, love
her.
But also.
Being able to talk to a creativefriend, especially a podcasting
friend about all the shit thatwe're doing and we're both
trying the same levels trying todo content, do our content,
(20:53):
create our content.
And what if you tried this, doesthis work this like, you know,
we're just out here hustling,but also really just like faking
it till we make it.
So I could have that camaraderieand like that workshopping with
her and just like honestlyventing sometimes of like, Oh,
let's feel sorry for myself forjust half a second.
But then I was also inspiredbecause you know, we didn't stay
low for long.
We were talking about what'snext and what we're gonna do and
(21:15):
how I'm gonna pivot or what I'mgonna do and she's gonna do and
just, it was amazing.
And I remember, I think it was,you know, it was like during the
conversation when I was tellingher my rejection and this and
this that and that.
I was like, so yeah, mytherapist said it's depression.
You know, it's going to be fine.
Like I'll get through it.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, or it's justyour lost girl era.
(21:36):
And I was like, Kristen, that'sgenius.
I frigging love that.
So shout out to Kristen.
I'm in my lost girl era.
Anyone listening, if you're inyour lost era, lost girl, lost
guy, lost whatever.
Hey.
I'm right there with you andthere's nothing wrong with it.
I came back with a greatepisode.
I still put out content lastweek.
(21:57):
I got so much shit going on.
I started doing my hobbies andinterests again.
I haven't felt near as stressedas I did before I got the
rejection email becausesometimes you just need a
refresher and sometimes thatrefresher, and maybe refresher
is not the right word.
You just need that check andmaybe it's rejection.
I don't think it's a pivot.
(22:18):
I think it's just a test to mycharacter of how I handle the
rejection, how I handle theloss, how I pick myself back up
by the bootstraps.
And I choose to do that because,what do I always say?
I say a lot of things, but we'rehere for a blip.
Life's so short.
Life is crazy.
It's amazing and crazy that weget to experience life.
(22:38):
So Sigh.
I'm not going to give up becausethere is still that feeling that
I'm going to, I'm going to sayit, that knowing that I'm going
to pull this off.
I'm going to make this thinghappen.
This thing, this dream of mine,these dreams of mine.
So I encourage you if you'refeeling rejected, if you're
(23:00):
feeling lost, if you're feelingjust, I don't know, exhausted,
overwhelmed, tired, frustrated,all of the things.
It's okay.
Sit with it.
Sit with it, remove the pressureand just sit with it.
Heal from it.
Grieve from it.
(23:22):
Grief, there is all friggindifferent kinds of grief I am
coming to learn.
There is the deep, heartwrenching, life defying grief of
losing something, someone soclose to you.
And then there's the grief ofthese kind of losses.
The grief and loss of, like,what you thought your life was
gonna be.
You thought where your life wasgoing, like, not to be, like,
dramatic about it, but It'sokay.
(23:44):
We're gonna have these momentsand, like, obviously, I'd be
crazy to think this is the lastrejection I'm ever gonna
receive.
Of course not.
Of course I'm gonna get morerejections.
Hopefully, maybe next time Iwon't be as devastated and get
knocked down as much as I didthis time.
Maybe I will though.
And if so, well, we'll crossthat bridge when we get there.
So, I'm grateful that I have agreat partner, Stan.
(24:07):
Shout out to my love, he isfantastic and he's been so
supportive.
My mom, I've got a really,really great support system.
So, I'm very grateful for that.
So, this is your note that, um,They can try and knock your girl
down, but she's always gonna getback up.
Okay, so now that we have gottenthrough the Lost Girl era, let's
(24:31):
talk about what's going on.
Yes.
Okay, so, alright.
In my, like, Lost Girl era,which we're still kind of in,
which we are still in, but we'refeeling better about, maybe I
should say, I have binge watchedLove Island USA season 6.
Now you all know that I am not areality TV girly.
(24:52):
Alright, I'm just not.
I'm a S I know I could be.
I just don't have time for itbut also like I would get into
it and maybe not every showwould be like this, but I know
that I would get very frustratedbecause at some point in my
head, I'm going to be like thismotherfucker is probably making
so much money now and this is sofrustratingly stupid and
(25:13):
annoying.
And also this is definitely asetup.
That's, I think that's really mything when it comes down to is
like the setups.
Cause like, I don't know.
Sometimes I'll watch interviewswith reality TV people and I'm
like, you're nothing like yourreality TV, like, persona.
So like, it's all an act.
I don't know.
I digress.
Now I feel like I'm just goingon some weird side tangent.
But with that said, if you'vebeen Living under a rock, you
(25:34):
probably haven't heard, but ifyou've touched Instagram and or
TikTok at any given point thepast, like, two months, you've
heard of Love Island.
I'm sure of it.
So I kept seeing all thischatter about it, and I was
like, I need to watch this.
Like, I feel like I need to getinto this.
So I went, had a girls weekendwhere we make maid candles and
all this, and I feel like maybeI did talk about this a couple
weeks ago, but I'm not quitesure.
(25:54):
Anyways, my girlfriend Samintroduced me, introduced me to
Love Island this season, and Iwas hooked.
I was like, this is kinda cool.
I know it's like a weirdconcept, all these strangers
living in a villa, like camerason them, like Big Brother style,
but, you know, I'm into it.
It's like, you know, they gotgames, challenges, it's about
finding romance, but they're alljust vibin hangin out.
What?
I'm into it.
(26:15):
I'm into it.
So, I watched, like, there wasone weekend in my, like, in the
past two weeks where Santa wentfishing in Blue Ridge and I
think I watched 20 episodes, um,over the course of like two
days.
I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed.
(26:35):
I watched that shit in threeweeks.
I watched 36, well, no, sorry.
35 frigging episodes in.
Do you know how much time thatis for somebody who like I
already mentioned in the first20 frickin minutes Like I'm
overwhelmed by this shit goingon, but let me just tackle in
like 30 Five plus hours ofreality TV.
(26:59):
When I take it back, absolutelynot.
Do I feel cultured?
I'm not going to lie.
I do.
Yes.
I feel like I am internetcultured and that feels so high.
Any millennial telling you thatthey, uh, they don't really care
to not be on trend is full ofshit.
To be a part of the conversationfeels so freaking good.
(27:26):
I can think of a few peoplelistening right now that know me
that are probably cringing sohard, but I don't care.
Let me live.
But despite being cultured onthe internet, it was good TV.
Okay.
Like of course there'sproblematic characters, but
there was like so much hearthttps: otter.
(27:46):
ai I was shocked, because myopinion of Rowdy TV is
definitely not much of any ofthe words I just used.
Sure, there was the problematicpeople, the problematic things,
the, you piece of, you knowwhat, why are you doing that?
But overall, it was justamazing, and All I gotta say is,
(28:10):
August 19th is the reunion, andI cannot freaking wait.
That's all I want to say.
I cannot freaking wait.
I cannot wait.
I always joke about how I'm apodcaster who's really bad about
listening to podcasts.
Well, just go into the littlegood old depression bucket and,
you know, reestablish, re findyourself, re find your hobbies,
(28:33):
rediscover your hobbies,rediscover your interests.
Here I am freaking reading abook.
Here I am freaking macromania.
Here I am watching Like watchingTik Toks and being a part of the
conversation and also knowingwhat the hell they're talking
about because well, your girlsseen the mother effing Love
Island doing this, doing that.
And I'm like, Oh, I love this.
I love this for me.
(28:53):
I feel like I feel like myselfagain.
I mean, I've been listening topodcasts.
I always say I'm really badabout catching up with my
podcasts as a podcaster.
And your girl's been listeningto podcasts.
Why?
Love Island, getting my ass backup in the podcast.
I've listened to so manypodcasts.
Podcasts I don't listen tonormally.
Vile files.
(29:13):
Call her daddy.
Well, I listen to Call Her Daddysometimes, but I, actually, I
didn't listen to that one.
I just watched clips.
Ugh, shame on you forinterviewing Rob! Uh, side note,
that's a different conversation.
Honestly, I love I'm just goingto say this.
I love Love Island so much thatI honestly want to make a bonus
episode where I just share mythoughts and feelings.
(29:35):
Is there any interest in that?
Does anybody care about LoveIsland, like Liz's pop culture
roundtable, where the roundtableis me, myself, and I?
And I can just go through allthe freaking podcasts I've
listened to, the TikToks I'veseen, and just Not that, like,
okay, maybe I should just likeslow my roll.
I have had a life outside ofthis.
I am just more so like, wow,your girl has sunk her teeth and
(29:55):
claws into this damn show.
And I love it.
I want to be Leah's friend.
I want to be Serena's friend,Jenae.
Oh, she's my girl.
PPG.
I want to be a part of PPG.
I want to be their friends.
Side note, if I was single, Iactually think I would love to
be on one of these shows becauselike, not for me finding love,
(30:15):
cause like whatever, but like, Iwould be a character.
I would have so much fun.
Maybe I'd be the villain.
I don't know.
I just, man, some of thesepeople I'd be like, all right,
listen here, buddy.
Stop being an asshole.
Anyways, I'm getting crazy.
If you've watched it, I need totalk about it.
Maybe I will do a bonus episode,but Love Island has consumed me.
So shout out to getting back intouch with myself, rediscovering
(30:38):
my interests, finding a newobsession, and somewhere along
the process trying to, I don'tknow, Keep the flow of no
pressure, but also like not feellike I'm so much in a rut still
You know what I mean?
Like feeling positive.
I'll get there.
I'll get there.
I'll get there.
still obsessed with ChapelRowan, of course God, I love
(30:59):
Chapel Rowan.
I saw someone say that she'slike our generation's Freddie
Mercury I don't want to say thatbecause like he is amazing and
like I don't want to like takeaway from anything that He
represents to anyone, especiallyme, not that he represents, I
don't even know why the fuck Ijust said that.
That was like, so dramatic.
Don't get me wrong, I love mesome Freddie Mercury, love me
(31:19):
some Queen, but like, I justmade it seem like this man's my
idol.
I don't even know if I have anidol.
Maybe Glennon Doyle or HeatherMcMahon.
Anyways, um, wow, okay.
So, where was I?
Generations, uh, FreddieMercury.
I think she's her own thing.
Sure.
She's got elements of otherpeople, but honestly, that bitch
is, she is incredible.
(31:41):
I am obsessed with her more thananything.
And one of these days I willmeet her and I'll have her on
the podcast and we'll be bestfriends.
And, um, yeah, God bless.
I love her.
Chapel chapel.
If you're hearing this chapel,which I know that's like the
slimmest chance to none, butlike give your girl a call.
So, okay.
Let's see, other things to talkabout before we talk about a few
(32:02):
life updates and then I'll getout of here so some things have
been going on politically, blinkblink, blink blink, like, what
the fuck?
Um, I try not to talk aboutpolitics, so I'm not gonna get
too much into it.
But, One more time.
What the fuck?
Uh, the thing that I will sayis, Kamala's running for
(32:24):
president.
Okay.
Her campaign's unhinged.
Okay.
I'm obsessed.
Okay.
Uh, you know, I just, the onepolitical thing I'm going to
talk about is Kamala's campaign.
It's genius.
If you haven't seen it, youprobably haven't been on tick
tock then, but she's reallytapped into that Charlie XCX
(32:44):
brat summer, like the green withthe brat.
I'm sure you've seen that too.
And it's just like crazy,whatever, like, I mean, whether
she has Gen Z interns, whetherit's some like, you know, I saw
this one video that was like,that is some old millennial that
has seen every corner of theinternet, you know, making her
campaigns either way, even ifit's all of the above.
(33:06):
Yeah.
I just want to marvel at thefact that she's trying to tap
into the 40 million Gen Zeligible voters for this
upcoming election.
So she is literally trying topander to this audience, this
huge 40 million eligible votersfor this election.
That is fucking genius.
(33:26):
So now I feel like I got to goresearch her cause I really
don't know much.
I don't know much about nothing.
I'm coming to realize, but Ialso know a lot about something.
So it's just like, you knowwhat?
You just keep going.
You just keep going.
You just keep swimming.
All right.
That was weird.
Sorry.
Anyways.
Um, politics, I don't know whatthe hell's going on.
WTF.
But like shout out to Kamala'scampaign.
I'm here for it because I'mlike, you know what, genius,
(33:50):
genius.
Anyways, one other thing that Isaw on the internet that I
thought was, um, oh, one otherthing that I saw on the internet
that I thought was veryinteresting.
Half the time, I don't know ifthese things are real because
they seem so ridiculous.
I'm like, this has got to befake.
Like, this is not real, right?
but it was like some AI companythat is putting out.
A companion necklace and it'snot supposed to do anything like
(34:12):
order your food like an Alexa orlike a Siri It's like literally
something that is always on thatlistens to you that you can talk
to and talks back It's likethey're calling it friend Now, I
didn't really deep dive too muchinto this, but it was like in my
little tech business newsletterI get every morning and the
owner, founder, whatever, spent1.
(34:32):
8 million to secure the friends.
com domain.
So www.
friends.
com.
Apparently there's some tea,some drama with it.
I mean, my first initialreaction is who the hell is
going to buy this?
And like the, the newsletter,like.
Commented on other failed AIwearable technology launches
(34:54):
that didn't get anywhere.
Uh, I don't know.
I mean, I could see someonewho's lonely maybe wanting it.
So, like, I don't want to talk,like, smack about it.
But it's just like, I don'tknow.
maybe it's just theiradvertisement for it was so
weird.
It was like, I saw a lot ofpeople talking about how they
thought it was like a, um, blackmirror announcement.
(35:16):
Just go watch it.
Go, go Google friends AIwearable ad and then come back
and tell me how you felt becauseI felt a little weirded out.
Not gonna lie.
I was like, Hmm, Hmm.
I feel like I shouldn't feelweird, but I feel very weird by
this.
Okay.
Okay.
Moving on.
(35:38):
Before we get out of here, let'stalk a little bit about what the
hell's been going on in my lifeoutside of like, you know, the
first half of this episode.
So a couple of things.
Um, one, we put an offer on ahome.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
We're not getting the home.
Oh my God.
No, I'm okay.
That's a rejection.
I actually could handle.
The thing I'm going to say aboutthis is me and Stan are not
(35:59):
going to get bamboozled by ahome.
All right, we're not.
We're not.
We know we can afford and that'sthe way the cookie crumbles.
I have seen enough homes to knowthat there's negotiations and
here and there and there andthere.
But, if you tell me a group ofinvestors, group, that was where
you failed the first time, agroup.
So you're telling me a group ofpeople own this home.
(36:19):
A group of investors are beinggreedy and then they like, you
know, want to play hardball butthen they keep coming back to us
because our financing is sostrong.
I'm not gonna budge.
I'm not gonna be bullied.
I'm not gonna be budged becauseguess friggin what?
If I've lived in this frigginapartment as long as I have now,
I can live in it a little bitlonger.
(36:42):
I mean, what is my sanity?
Some more.
You know, like, who needs theirsanity nowadays?
Everyone's crazy out there.
So like, let me just join them.
I might actually feel betterabout things.
Life might be more fun.
If you can't Wait, if you can'tbeat them, join them?
Let's all just go cuckoo forCocoa Puffs.
Anyways, um, it was, it was agood exercise because we've
(37:03):
never actually fully put anoffer on a home.
And you know, we have a newrealtor, and I just have to be
honest, no hate, no shame to thepast realtor, but like, uh, very
different experiences.
It was like, uh, Crazy, likecrunching the numbers, not
crunching, but like going backand forth with the lender,
getting this, getting that tolike, you know, come up with the
right offer, but it reallywasn't as stressful and crazy
(37:26):
intensive.
Like I thought it was going tobe basically like our other
realtor was going to make uscome up with everything on our
own.
Like earnest money, this andthis, that, and that day
periods, a due diligence, likeall this shit that I'm like, I'm
overwhelmed.
I don't know any of this.
Yeah.
And our realtor, our new one'slike, Oh no, I take care of all
that for you.
I just go over it with you.
And I'm like, Oh God, bless you.
(37:46):
God, you're so amazing.
So, fun fire drill.
I'm not disappointed.
The house wasn't like perfect,perfect, but like it was really
great.
It was like enough to like putan offer on, so we'll see.
We'll see.
Here's the fun fact.
That group of investors, theykeep coming back with us trying
to like make us change our offerbecause they like our, our, I
guess our, our, I don't know,financing.
I don't freaking know.
(38:06):
It's all just a game and I feellike I'm the one getting played,
but at some point you just haveto accept it, you know, cause
that's part of playing the game.
Anyways, before I getdisgruntled about that, the
truth is, who knows, maybe thisis her house because like it's
been two weeks now and they keepcoming back.
So, they keep, they keep cominglike closer and closer to like
the number we want.
So, we'll see.
(38:27):
I'm not holding my breath.
Right.
Um, the other thing I was goingto talk about, and I told myself
that I was going to researchthis before I brought it up to
the pod, but of course yourgirl, ding ding ding, has not.
However, I have to tell youabout it.
So, my mom will send me somelike, Not like conspiracy theory
(38:49):
crazy like videos, reels,whatever on TikTok or Instagram,
but like she'll send me somethings where I'm like, all
right, where did you find this?
This is, this is silly.
Um, but like also she'll send mea lot of like massage therapy,
stretching, mobility, thingslike that.
Because like my mom was amassage therapist back in the
day.
Well, she sends me this one reelthat was about like EMF waves
(39:10):
from your Apple watch and how itcan cause pain.
Now.
You guys know I have chronicpain, it's such a great time, my
neck, shoulders, knees and toes,just kidding, really my neck and
shoulders, but also my hips.
So I'm watching it and before Ieven like, I'm like five seconds
in, I'm like, okay, what thehell is this about your Apple
watch causing pain?
(39:31):
So it's some chiropractor, he'stalking about EMF waves in your
wrist and blah, blah, Like.
I'm like really butchering thestory now that I realize it, but
he's like using this kid, thisguy, stretching his neck and
showing the difference when hetakes the watch off.
Whether or not that was Houdinishit or not, it was enough where
I was like, Huh.
(39:52):
So my first reaction is alwaysto go to the comments.
So you get through all the crazycomments and then you start
getting to people going, No,there's some truth here, this or
this, that or that, whatever.
This is not me saying that Ibelieve in EMF waves.
I don't really understand whatthey are completely.
However, when I Googled it, Ifind all of these articles on
apple.
(40:12):
com, like, you know, Apple'scommunity support system or not
support system, but like, youknow, like the community forums
or whatever, when you needsupport.
And I'm seeing so many peopletalk about EMF with their Apple
watch or their AirPods.
And then like, you see theseother.
Articles and like they're notjust like random weird third
party blog sites like reputablesources talking about AMF
(40:35):
blockage all together not justlike specific to Apple but it's
enough where I'm like Okay, youknow what I'm always in mother
effing chronic pain I will trythis exercise just for fun
because I am somebody who wearstheir Apple watch every single
day I don't sleep in it, but Iwear it every single day Y'all
Y'all.
(40:56):
Two days I have not been wearingmy motherfucking Apple Watch.
Don't ask me how.
I don't even have the words tocommunicate like the r like The
lack of pain, or I should say, Istill have pain, I still have my
chronic pain, but it's the lackof additional pain.
The fact that my neck and my,like, my neck, my, like, my
shoulders haven't been crampingand, and getting so tight that
(41:18):
I'm miserable as much as theyhave been the past, like, six
months.
What the fuck?
for my Love Island fans, in thewords of Kayler, FUUUCK!
Seriously, what the fuck?
What?
I'm not, I'm not saying take offyour Apple watch.
I'm just saying if you have painand you chronically wear it, you
(41:39):
chronically wear your Applewatch, take it off and just try
two days, two freaking days.
I can't believe it.
I'm shook.
So now I'm having to deal withlike the borderline identity
crisis of not wearing my Applewatch.
Cause I'm like, Oh, it's notthere.
That's awkward.
And then being like, Oh, I can'ttell the time right off the bat.
I can't look at my counter rightoff the bat.
(42:01):
I feel like a piece of me isgone.
But I'm like, all right, it'stechnology.
Liz, get the fuck over yourself.
So we're moving forward, movingon.
Gosh.
So, um, EMF waves, apparentlythat's a thing.
I don't know if it's likeaffecting me because of my
injuries and my, I don't know.
I don't, my trigger points, Ihave no idea.
I don't know.
Maybe it's like, what is thelike amoeba effect or something?
(42:22):
Like where you think like, Idon't even know what I'm saying
right now, but hopefully forthose who have an idea, get it.
And if you don't, well, welcometo my life.
I don't even know what thatmeans.
Um, but moving forward, Watchyour Apple watches and watch
your AirPods.
So the last thing I want toupdate you on is, well, I'm
(42:45):
about to bust out cause I'mhungry as hell.
I got to go eat.
Got so much to do cause I'mgoing to New Orleans for my
girl, Maggie's bachelorette.
I'm going to eat so much effingCajun food.
You, I hope I don't hurt mystomach cause like I don't
really do spicy, but like spicyis going to do me.
That's for damn sure.
Can't wait.
It's supposed to be a hotterthan a witch's tit.
So whatever that phrase evenmeans, I don't even know.
(43:07):
But the point being, I don'tknow what to wear because like I
hate being hot and sticky and Ifeel like I'm going to be hot
and sticky.
So that's fun.
But the last thing I want tomention, have I talked about
this on the podcast?
I can't remember, but.
I am trying to, oh yeah, I thinkI have talked about some
podcasts.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm trying to pitch some NewYork people, creators,
(43:30):
influencers, artists, chefs, allof the things, podcasters to
join me for an episode on the inbetween while I'm in New York at
the end of August.
Well, it is August, the month.
So I've used chat GPT to kind ofhelp me with the email templates
because like, you know, I don'tknow.
It's hard getting out of yourown way and getting out of your
own head.
And I'm saying, so thank you,Chad, GBT for being my resource
(43:50):
there.
Uh, but trying to suss through,cause like, I don't want to send
just like a generic email, youknow, cause like we know how
that makes people feel, but Idon't want to just send
something like, because I willget random people from like
podcast management companies,like pitching me the most
randomest people that like,honestly, I, I would never
interview like I, you know whatI mean?
(44:12):
I don't want to say, oh, I don'tcare about what they talk about,
but it's like their vibe, theirbrand, their schtick, whatever,
like it's not for me, not fory'all, not for what we want,
right?
And then like, the same podcastmanagement company will send me
three different people and like,the beginning of their emails
are always the same and it'slike, I love your podcast, the
in between, that last episodewas great, it's like so generic
(44:33):
and like, honestly, if someonelike me, who, you know, is a
small fry trying to pretendthey're a big fry at the moment,
like, I don't like that.
I mean, I don't like, go and cryabout it and take it to heart,
but I'm just like, ugh.
I always want to make sure I'mpersonable, so that's where I'm
like overthinking it, but like,researching, making sure I'm
like, you know, trying to findthe best parts, like, best parts
of the person, but like, youknow, the things that I think
(44:54):
really resonate, like, that Ilike about them, that I think we
can connect on, whatever,whatever.
So, the point I'm trying to makeis, the energy and effort it
puts, or it takes to put intothese emails, like, I was not
prepared for.
So throw in the impostersyndrome with it.
I'm just like over hereexhausted.
I've only sent four.
(45:15):
I just need y'all to root for meand be like, girl, don't be
nervous.
Don't be insecure.
Stop thinking you, you ain't thething.
You are the thing.
You're going to be the thingbecause you are the thing and
like shoot your freaking shot.
It's like, I'm like, what is theworst that's gonna happen?
Like, they ignore you.
Okay, but like, somehow that,which is like the truth, has now
(45:37):
turned into, they're gonnaignore you because you were
pathetic, because like, You donot have a bajillion followers.
And not that I'm trying to reachout to people with billions of
followers.
Cause like, also I know the laneI'm supposed to stay in, but you
know, a couple hundred thousand,I'm just like, hi guys.
I am a millennial, formertheater kid who loves self love,
(45:59):
be my friend.
I'm just kidding.
I hope I'm more than that.
But anyways, God, this is moreof a rhetorical question, but
it's just, uh, Root for yourgirly because I like major
imposter syndrome vibes, butit's going to work out.
I hope I feel like it.
It's got to going to, what arethe odds of like one out of
(46:22):
four?
Like saying, yes, I feel like Ineed more.
So also if you have any New Yorkcity, New York, like people that
you think, Oh my gosh, you haveto reach out to this person
would love.
Would love your, um, notesprobably need to get this
handled ASAP because like thisis going to be like in four
weeks, but we'll get there.
We'll get there.
Anyways, I've had enough of yourtime.
It's been great to be back.
Great to connect.
I have a fantastic guest comingon the podcast next week.
(46:44):
Her name is Rosa Castaño.
Uh, save that for next week, buty'all are in for a treat.
It's gonna be great.
And yeah, we'll just keep, keepthem going.
So.
Hang in there.
Remember, rejection is just apart of the life, just a part of
the story, just a part of thechapter.
It's a bump in the road and youwill get through it.
Sit in the feelings and justknow that, like, you can't give
(47:05):
up.
And whatever is waiting for youis literally around the corner.
I promise.
Don't be like me and think,well, I've been saying that for
months now, years it feels like.
No, it's coming.
It's all been building towardsthis.
That's the truth.
I hope you have a great rest ofyour week.
Pray that I don't melt in NewOrleans, but also pray that I
(47:26):
eat my body's worth in Cajunfood.
Ha! And if you're not doing soalready, please follow me on
Instagram at elizabethciniunderscore and at in.
betweenpod.
YouTube and TikTok at theinbetweenpodcast.
So, give your girls some love.
Um, send me a follow, send me amessage, send me a hi.
Also if you're enjoying thepodcast, I'd really appreciate a
rating, review, subscribe,follow, all the things, whether
(47:48):
it's Spotify, Apple, whereveryou listen to your podcasts.
And that would be great.
Those are my housekeeping thingsbefore I let you out of here.
So on that note, have a greatweek.
Live your best life.
Live your best self.
Remember you're special.
Remember no matter what, it'scoming.
Just don't give up.
Don't give up.
And also know that sometimespivoting, redirection, it's not
(48:11):
giving up.
It's just evolving, right?
Like plans change, dreamschange, things grow, man, this
thing's evolved way more thanwhat it originally was going to
be and that's the beauty andjourney of it.
So it being life, you know whatI mean?
You know what I mean?
So on that note, I'll let yougo.
I'll see you next week on an allday in between.
I'm Elizabeth.
Bye.
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