Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Elizabeth (00:06):
Well, well, well,
look who's back on the podcast.
Yes, your girl Elizabeth is backhere on the in between.
I am so happy you're here.
If I gathered you as a fan whileI was on hiatus, welcome to the
podcast.
Welcome to my, my schtick, myspiel, my creative outlet,
whatever you want to call it.
My, my inner journal.
(00:26):
That's honestly, I feel likewhat it is.
Um, my platform to think thatI'm important and to spread good
juju.
Thank you.
But anyways, it is great to beback.
It's kind of a mixed bag ofemotions.
All great, all excited, a littlenervous, a little, do I still
have my mojo?
Um, really it's more so, do Istill remember how to edit this
thing?
So if you're listening to this,that means she figured it out.
(00:46):
Hopefully there was notadditional blood, sweat and
tears.
Um, cause I've had enough ofthose lately.
So, We're going to catch up alittle bit.
We're going to kiki, we're goingto talk about things.
Uh, but I first want to addressthe elephant in the room, which
was said hiatus.
Yes, I am quite aware of myfriends that I Irish goodbye to
us.
Um, not my best move and notsomething I would typically do,
(01:09):
especially me being a controlfreak, But my life imploded.
That is the easiest way I candescribe it.
And.
I'm not going to get intoeverything.
Eventually, one day, I'm goingto share all of the truths, all
of the things.
but right now, because I am verymuch in said situation,
(01:33):
implosion, all the things, Ifeel like I'm nervous rambling
now.
All the things?
How many times have I said that?
Uh, but jokes aside, I'm stillvery much dealing with a bunch
of life stuff at the moment.
I don't say that to be ambiguousand weird.
Y'all know I'm an open book.
That's what makes me, me.
But right now, I gotta keep somethings close to the chest.
(01:55):
But I was itching to be back onthe podcast.
I missed it so much.
I mean, I love this thing.
And 2025 is going to be the yearthat we full send.
Not that I wasn't full sendingbefore, but like all of the
plants, okay, you know, notplants, all of the seeds I was
planting in 2024 are going tocome to fruition in 2025.
At least that's what I'mmanifesting and by God.
(02:19):
I believe in myself.
So we're gonna, we're gonna,we're gonna claim that.
Okay, okay.
But I, I've been missing this.
if you're watching this, you cansee I kind of have a different
background.
It's a purple wall that Ipainted myself, which, well
technically it's periwinkle, butwho's counting?
However, I did a really shit jobat it.
The, not great on the edges, butwe're not gonna, we're not gonna
show just how, just how bad Iwas.
(02:41):
However, I haven't quite fullymoved in.
I'm gonna get different seats.
Right now I'm just using mybeautiful peacock chair.
I'm going to have art on thewalls, but new setting, new
environment.
So I was like, let's record thepod.
So I'm so excited, but yeah,last time we talked, I had just
bought a house.
That was stressful.
(03:01):
You know, everyone says buying ahouse is stressful and you know
what?
They're absolutely right.
Do not be bamboozled unless yougot mad money.
you're gonna be fine.
If you're not them, you're goingto hate yourself.
You're going to hate your life.
But Hey, you know what, I wasgoing to say, what doesn't kill
us makes us stronger, but thatwould be um, what's the word
that's kind of gaslightingmyself.
(03:21):
But what I was going to say is.
Sometimes life doesn't go assmooth as you were hoping things
happen.
Speed, bumps, detours, u-turnseven.
And sometimes it's like all ofthose things at once.
And you know, I joke about beinga, a control freak and I've
worked really hard on that.
A lot of that comes from myanxiety growing up, this and
(03:43):
this, that and that.
Throwing the triple touristthing, I'm sure that has some
kind of influence, but I'vealways been kind of a planner
and, um.
Needing to kind of haveeverything figured out, to a
fault.
And I mean that by, my mom and Iwould go to like an amusement
park.
And I would have to like, kindof plan out the flow of the day.
Okay, we're going to go to thissection first, and then this
(04:04):
section, because logisticallythis makes sense to me.
And I ask my mother still, Howdid you not know I had anxiety
growing up?
But neither here nor there.
There we go.
So as a former control freak,now a new go with the flow ish,
but have her shit together,human being that I am.
(04:24):
I've grown a lot.
And I think how I've beenhandling my life currently at
the moment, leading up to thisrecording and then thereafter.
I think the reason how I'vesurvived is absolutely giving up
control.
So that's kind of what I want totalk about today a little bit.
We're going to catch up on somepop culture moments because
(04:44):
like, it's been a few months.
So I wanted to start today'sepisode out just addressing the
elephant in the room, whichWe're gonna call it my hiatus.
My impromptu hiatus.
Uh, my holiday.
My holiday.
There we go.
Okay, I'm just, just rambling.
See, it's been a minute, so thismight be a little weird, even
though it's not supposed to be.
Um, but Letting go of control.
(05:07):
So, without going into details,because, like I said, we're
going to keep that close to thechest right now, and we'll talk
about it later.
Uh, but when your life implodes,and life implosions obviously
vary by user.
Just like when I say everyone'srock bottom is different.
My life implodes.
And I mean, upside down,everything you think, you know,
is now changing or, or justchaos and confusion.
(05:30):
And there's all these emotionsand they're intense emotions and
they're most of them arenegative.
Let's be real.
lots of introspection, lots ofjust having to go, go into
yourself.
And part of why I went on hateus, if not, the main reason is
I'm all about authenticity.
And if I can't share what'sgoing on in my life, especially
(05:52):
when it is like sucking everysingle fiber of my being out of
me in terms of energy and focus,I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna
half ass this thing because thisthing is like my baby.
It's like my dream.
It's my, it's my soul.
It's my me, right?
So I could create fake contentthat truly wouldn't be me.
And let's be real, I'm not goingto do that.
(06:13):
Or I could do what was mostimportant, which was facing what
was going on in my life.
And moving into this house, deargoodness, that is like, you
know, a whole thing in itself.
So with that came the need tolet go of control.
Everything was such chaos.
I had to live everything day byday, sometimes even moment by
(06:34):
moment, figuring things out,asking tough questions, making
extremely tough decisions, andthen still second guessing
yourself.
Asking for advice, but then notwanting people to get in your
head.
Leaning on people, leaving onthe ones you care about.
And I realized part way through,I had to let go of control.
And I had to trust that lettinggo of control, halting the
(06:54):
podcast, stopping this, doingthat, not focusing on, on
working out every single day,whatever the case, I don't know
why I specified that, but I hadto trust that any disruption in
my routine in life andeverything that I was building
and trying to work towards wasstill going to be there for me
just because I had to stop andtake care of myself and
(07:16):
prioritize what was going on inmy life doesn't mean that all of
what I've been building towardsand want and want to achieve and
my goals aren't going to happen.
Because I'd much rather comeback with a friggin banger of an
episode than give you just lessthan half of who I am.
And maybe a few, you know, goodone liners, because, you know,
(07:38):
your girl's clever, I can't denythat.
Letting go of true control.
And I don't mean like, well, youknow, I'm just going to spend my
money everywhere, I'm not goingto worry about what I eat, I'm
just going to be an asshole topeople.
I don't mean that.
I mean Letting go of the, allthe hardcore plans all the to
do's, and you tackle what isnecessary for that moment, and
(08:00):
maybe that day.
Sometimes, oftentimes it wasthat moment.
And so I wanted to share alittle bit about, like, what was
I doing, to, here I am turningthe page looking at my notes,
um, I wanted to share a littlebit of how I've showed up for
myself, when I had to justcompletely shut down.
And shut down doesn't mean Ididn't feel the feels.
(08:21):
I'm still feeling the feels, I'mstill processing.
but, shutting down, letting goof control, letting go of what I
think I need to do, what Ithought I needed to do, which
actually is the same sentencenow that I say that.
But what I expected out ofmyself, or what I thought other,
well I guess more so, what Ithought other people expected
out of me, which what I'm goingto give you a spoiler alert,
(08:43):
nine and a half times out often, the expectations are all in
your own head, ha ha ha.
Will she learn that lessoneventually?
I friggin hope so, because thoseexpectations cause a lot of
anxiety.
If you know, you know.
Okay.
But showing up for myself,journaling like nobody's
business.
Um, journaling is something thatI always wanted to get more
(09:04):
into, um, especially because I,you know, I do want to write a
book one day, books plural, whoknows, but definitely one.
Um, but as I've started tojournal and it is definitely
part of my routine and it's partof my wellness routine and self
care routine, I noticed that Iwould get different perspectives
when I would journal, differentthan even when I'm just, you
know, sitting in my head, Whichsitting in my head oftentimes
(09:24):
isn't the best scenario becausethen you spiral all that fun
jazz.
But it's giving me differentperspectives.
And speaking of spiraling,pause, letting go of control.
You'd think I'd be spiraling.
I'd be losing my mind, secondguessing all the things.
However, in the chaos of lettinggo, I maintained a grip on my
sanity and I didn't spiral.
(09:46):
actually had really greatpositive self talk.
I was able to combat any kind ofspiraling.
I'm proud of how I've managedeverything, because when you're
dealing with super intenseemotions and just absolute
chaos, Oh! You have to have afortitude within yourself.
Absolutely.
(10:07):
So, journaling, I highlyrecommend it.
It definitely helps get you, getyour thoughts on paper.
Well, obviously your thoughts onpaper, but it helps you process
your thoughts in a different waythan even talking them out in
therapy.
I'm not gonna lie.
I've been pulling my tarotcards.
I'm not like a witchy person,but I love tarot cards.
I believe in birth charts, allthat kind of shit.
Although I would say, I mighthave tarot card myself into a
(10:28):
tizzy.
The tarot cards have beensomething that have been very
helpful and guiding in momentsof Darkness, if I have to be
dramatic, but seriously, lowpoints.
Uh, and it's all about just likeconnecting with yourself.
So, I don't know.
Take that with what you will,but that is something that's
definitely helped me.
talking to those I trust.
I've always been very big on,I'm, I'm an open book for the
(10:50):
most part.
Except for this episode, Iguess.
But I, I love connecting withpeople.
I love expressing myself.
I love helping someone feel seenbecause any time those things
happen to me, it helps me.
It validates me, makes me feelgood.
And in this season of chaos, inthis season of change, in this
season of where do I go fromhere, even though I know where
(11:12):
I'm going and that's just, Idon't know, I'm going where my
heart takes me, so to speak.
But I'm so grateful for thepeople in my life, the community
I have, family, friends, all ofit.
And also it's really cool to seesome of the relationships that I
made this past year and howthose have played out, how
(11:34):
they're playing out and, andwhere I think they're going to
go this year.
I have so many incrediblepeople.
I truly am so blessed.
I don't know where I, I don'tknow how I would do without some
of the people in my life.
God, I really don't.
You have to lean on yourcommunity.
That is such a When you're goingthrough tough shit, you've got
(11:58):
to lean on your community.
You can't get through it alone.
And whether your community is atherapist, whether it's a chat
board on Reddit, whether it's onTwitch streaming video games, I
don't know.
It's up to you.
Where you find community andtogetherness and comfort, that's
on you just like your rockbottom is on you and just like
your life implosions on you.
It's all specific to you.
(12:19):
So find your community.
I've kind of dabbled in thisalready.
Another thing that was helpingme is affirmations that positive
self talk, uh, when life is hellon earth and you're a mixed bag
of all of these intense negativeemotions.
Part of your survival is youtelling yourself that you are
okay.
You're going to be okay.
You're going to get throughwhatever you're getting through.
(12:40):
You're going to, you can dothis.
You can overcome any obstacle.
You can overcome any challenge.
You can overcome any lifeimplosion.
If you're familiar with tarot,you're familiar with the tower
card.
And if you're not familiar withtarot, maybe you've heard of,
oh, you're having a tower momentin slang or something like that.
Tower moment is like chaos,change.
Your life is flipped upsidedown.
(13:00):
And I believe every towermoment, not to take away from
any pain it may cause, anguish,discomfort, whatever, all the
things.
But every tower moment changesyou for the better.
At least it can.
Let me say that.
How you navigate that towermoment, if you, you know, abide
by your vices, and you, youknow, fall more down the rabbit
(13:24):
hole, and you don't get help,and you don't claw yourself out,
maybe not.
Maybe the tower moment is goingto define you in a negative
sense.
Or you can let that tower momentevolve you.
There's two different pathshere.
And it's okay if, if you takethe evolve route, you, you
filter back a little bit and youtake three steps forward to take
two steps back.
Sometimes it happens.
Sometimes you take two stepsforward and five steps back.
(13:48):
Don't freak out because as longas you're focused on moving
forward, you're going to getthere.
So when you're having your towermoment affirmations help tower
moments aren't permanent.
Tower moments bring change.
And almost always, as long asyou keep like a positive mindset
and you, and you focus on thetask at hand and what you have
to do to be the best version ofyou and what's best for you as
(14:09):
well, you're going to getthrough it.
I've been rereading untamed.
That's another bullet on thelist.
Untamed, I will jokingly say ismy Bible, although I'm not
religious.
I'm spiritual, as you all knowif you've been listening to the
podcast.
If not, well, welcome, but weRespect everybody here But
rereading untamed so healing.
I kind of felt like Every time Ineeded a certain message or
(14:33):
something At least like what wasgoing on in my life at that
moment Whenever I picked up thebook that chapter that I say was
exactly what I needed So, youknow, thanks looking out
universe, and this is also meclaiming one day I will see and
meet Lennon Doyle.
She will be on the podcast andit will be beautiful and I will
say hey, we're twins Don't knowwhy but I just feel it kinship
(14:53):
to you woman.
I'm just kidding We are mirrorimages of each other.
Oh Let's see.
What else lists?
Okay, so tackling things momentby moment day by day I was
making to do lists almost everyday, and I would put like maybe
two things.
And if I got those two thingsdone, hell yeah.
And if I got none of them done,well, I'm sure I got something
done.
Because, you know, I'm notmaking a plan here, I'm just
(15:14):
trying to do what I gotta do.
Put one foot in front of theother, take care of the
responsibility things that Ihave to take care of, and then
just trust the process.
Uh, which, you know.
Something I've gotten a lotbetter with, but definitely have
struggled with in the past.
So, I don't say this to act likeI have figured it all out.
I have not.
She's just changing, evolving.
(15:36):
another big thing, which I kindof have already mentioned a
little bit, but reminding myselfit's okay to be unanchored and
just be.
And.
Although I am changing and I amnot the person I was before, I'm
a better version of myself.
A more beautiful version ofmyself.
Maybe one more authentic, youmight say.
(15:57):
A lot of the things, I mean, ifnot all the things that I've
learned through this wholeexperience as I continue to
learn in these experiences thatI'm going through, I'm taking
those things with me.
And they help me, they help mewith anxiety, intrusive
thoughts, help me keep at top ofmind the incredible person that
I am, and the incredible gift Ihave to offer.
Which kind of leads me to thefinal bullet of, uh, this, how
(16:20):
I've shown up for myself, how doyou handle life implosions, but
positive self talk and combatingintrusive thoughts.
And believe it or not, the moreyou do that, the easier
combating those intrusivethoughts is.
I know that sounds crazy becausethere was definitely a point in
my life not that long ago just afew short years where those
intrusive thoughts which theyare so convincing like that is
(16:42):
the narrative that is the voicein your head like it's of course
this is the truth and thereality and this is who I am or
how I am or what I'm doing likeof course because the intrusive
thought told me believe it ornot the more you combat those
and when they start to happenyou can just interject even if
it's just a moment.
Maybe it's a moment at first,but then it becomes a
(17:02):
conversation with yourself.
I know that sounds crazy, buthear me out.
The more you do that, believe itor not, the intrusive thoughts
become easier to overcome, tomanage.
Never, if you would have askedme a couple of years ago, if I
was going through what I'm goingthrough right now, would I be
able to not completely spiral,derail myself and get into the
deepest, darkest hole possible?
(17:23):
I've been like, Oh yeah, no, I,that would, I can't imagine
handling that.
I can't handle that.
I wouldn't be able to handlethat.
working on myself, learning thetools through therapy when I was
depressed and all that,continuing to better myself, to
continue to recognize and makesure I'm aware of my worth, and
how wonderful I am, howincredible I am.
And you all can, you all are thesame thing, same way, so you can
(17:43):
do the same thing.
The more I do it, the easier itis.
There's actually not a rocketscience equation to figuring out
your intrusive thoughts.
Believe it or not, it's justloving yourself.
Hmm.
Where have I heard that before?
Do do do do do do.
But I'm going to be okay.
As is life.
I have become more of anexistentialist in my later
(18:07):
years.
Don't worry, I'm still freakingyoung.
At least I think I'm young.
Um, I learned that apparentlyI'm no longer a young adult.
That was a bitter, a bitterlesson.
Pill to swallow, but I'm stillyoung as far as I'm concerned
and I'm still badass.
Okay.
Okay Not that being young makesyou badass, but I'm just saying
generally speaking.
Uh, but all that said and doneI'm gonna be okay I'm excited.
(18:29):
I'm terrified.
I'm scared of the unknown of thevoid of what's to come in my
life But I've always said i'llbet on me If there's anybody i'm
gonna bet on it's me So I'mgoing to channel that energy,
that big E energy, big Elizabethenergy.
And I'm going to trust that I'mgoing to be okay.
(18:51):
Cause I've always got me.
so there's the heavy tea.
And like I said, we'll get moreinto things later alligator.
Um, a few housekeeping things Ido want to say because of said
life implosion and all of thethings going on right now.
Um, as much as I would love tosay that I can, I'm coming back
strong and I'm going to be hereevery week.
Maybe I will.
We'll see.
But in this season of life, I amcurrently learning to pace
(19:14):
myself and not give myself theseextreme expectations that hold,
um, like that.
I will kill myself toaccomplish, but that's not,
that's not fair.
That's not cool.
We don't want to be killingourselves over here.
So I'm going to definitelycommit to bi weekly every two
weeks.
And if you're lucky, you'll getit every week.
And this isn't forever.
This is just for now.
And I trust that come here soon,come in the next couple of
(19:37):
weeks, months, you know,definitely before my birthday,
we're going to be rocking androlling.
And gosh, who knows where the inbetween and me and all of the
things are going to be.
So.
That's that.
And, you know, hopefully I'llhave more stuff behind and kind
of get my, my vibe going heresoon.
So, all right, so enough aboutthat.
Let's quickly catch up on a fewpop culture moments, things in
(20:00):
the world that I absolutely wantto talk about.
First things first, and I had toreally taper myself to make sure
I didn't go down a spiral, butthe Luigi guy, I don't even
remember his last name becauseit's been so long, even though
it hasn't been that long, butthe guy with the
UnitedHealthcare, if you'rewatching this, just look at my
face.
I have so much to say on that,but I don't want to, you know,
(20:24):
ostracize myself from myaudience.
And I am a good person, and Iwant to respect everything
that's happened.
But, uh, I've got lots ofthoughts, so if you have lots of
thoughts on that situation,please DM me, because I would
love to talk about it.
I was going through it when itall happened.
So I didn't really get to talkabout with anybody.
So, uh, please Send me yourrequests.
(20:46):
I would love to talk about itThere's also the Martha Stewart
documentary.
Um, oh If you are a badass womanand or man But definitely a
badass woman.
I highly encourage you to watchit whether you like her or your
hater.
You should watch it It was soinspiring.
She is so Badass becausewatching Documentary you see her
(21:12):
come up you see everything thatshe had against her as a woman
in that time in that period ofwhat was going on and To be the
powerhouse of the brand that shewas You Is OCD?
I have no idea.
Is she maybe a little ornery?
A little anal?
Uh, you know, there's some truthprobably to that, but to have a
brand the way that she did, I,you, you kind of have to have a
(21:34):
tight ship.
And let me tell you, there's areason I don't have a co host,
because this is me.
I control the brand.
And I say that like I'm sopolished, but, whatever.
But, all this to say, like, shewas the Martha Stewart, the
brand, the living legend.
Yeah, if I were her and I waspaying everybody's checks, I'd
want things done a certain kindof way, duh.
But there were so many goodlittle nuggets of wisdom and
(21:58):
just, I mean, she was on WallStreet.
Back in, I obviously don'tremember the decade, maybe 70s,
80s?
I don't know.
I cannot remember, but 90s?
Somewhere around there.
It was when Wall Streetdefinitely didn't have women on
it.
Not that it has a humongouspopulation of that now, but It
was just so badass.
Like, I, yeah, I'm kind oframbling now.
(22:20):
Highly recommend Martha Stewartdocumentary.
Um, let's see.
There's also the ends with usdrama, which is still fairly
new.
And I just want to say, I thinkI talked smack, about it.
A little back before the hiatusand I do want to say I
apologize.
I was on his side and now itmakes sense because he Hosted a
fantastic takedown campaign, PRcampaign to take down Blake
(22:43):
Lively.
And, you know, I still stand bymy comments that she's not the
best actress, but you know what?
I support you, girl.
If what went down went down,that is some fuck shit.
And also, screw that guy forbeing a narcissistic creepo.
I don't know, butthead.
I don't know why I said creepo.
Yeah, creepo.
Asshole.
And, uh, making a lot of usbelieve that he was innocent.
(23:03):
Narcissists.
It's hard to point them out.
When you do, you know, the finalthing, the biggest thing, and I,
I will jokingly say this is partof how I know I'm not a, I am a
different person now becausesomething has changed within me.
Something is not the same.
(23:24):
I'm through with playing by therules of someone else's game.
I'm done.
Okay, please.
I just got so tickled.
Who can name that?
Yes, I'm talking Wicked.
Wicked changed me.
It unlocked the theater girl inme that has been dormant for a
while.
I say that, but I have a podcastand I am literally a walking
(23:44):
cartoon character, but oh mygosh, was it as good as I
thought it was going to be?
It was better.
Here's the big thing, and I willabsolutely eat my words.
Ariana Grande slayed.
She killed it.
Give that woman an Oscar, giveher all the awards.
(24:04):
That, oh my gosh.
I mean, Cynthia DeGray too.
Of course she did.
I mean, she crushed Elphaba, shegave Elphaba a different sense
other than what, you know, weare used to from Idina Menzel
and all the ways we've seen iton the, the production play,
Broadway stage, but she killedit.
Cynthia was great.
But Ariana, oh my gosh.
(24:25):
I remember talking shit and Iwas like, she can't enunciate,
how is she gonna do theater?
Um and let me just fangirl forhalf a moment.
Glinda is like a charactercharacter, like, ah, you know,
it's a, I don't even know whatthat means, but she's a
character character.
Like, Elphaba is more serious,more of like a, someone we
probably know in our life.
If not, we are an Elphaba.
And I'm not saying we don't haveGlindas in our life, or we know
(24:46):
other Glindas, but Glinda is,you know, she's a character.
She's Cutesy.
She's like Elle Woods in the Ozworld.
You get what I'm saying?
So to be a character characterand still crush that character
and then also bring this depthand empathy and emotion because
y'all that first song, no onemourns the wicked.
That's why I started crying.
Her frigging eyes in that scene,man, she blew me away.
(25:12):
So what was my favorite part ofthat movie besides the whole
movie?
Freaking Ariana Grande.
Also, Jonathan Bailey.
There is no role he can't do.
Also, that man is gay and if hedoesn't make every woman,
straight woman, that, at leastat that, swoon and just, I don't
know.
I don't know who does, but hekilled it.
(25:33):
So, I loved Wicked.
Wicked was great.
I bought it as soon as it cameout on, like, digital streaming.
I've watched it at least threetimes since.
And I cannot wait for part two.
It's probably going toemotionally wreck me, just like
the first one did.
For good.
When the two of them sing thattogether, oh, my goodness.
It won't be a dry eye in thehouse.
(25:55):
So that's, that's that.
Well that's all she wrote today.
It's been really great beinghere with you guys, being back
in it, being back in the swingof things.
Um, and like I said, I'm goingto try to come back next week,
but it might be two weeks fromnow, and you know, let's just
throw out the very, very slimchance of three weeks, but we're
going to get through it.
We can do hard things.
Literally the mantra I have saidover and over and over again to
(26:15):
myself the past couple ofmonths.
But we can do hard things.
So if you're new here and you'renot doing so already, you can
follow me on social medias,TikTok at the Inbetween Podcast,
YouTube at the InbetweenPodcast, which this episode will
be there.
Hello, YouTube.
And then you can follow me onInstagram at in.
betweenpod, and my personal atelizabethcheney underscore.
So I am looking forward to 2025.
(26:39):
Uh, the, the words I chose thisyear, I picked three because I
couldn't choose becomingpossibility and expansion.
So let's see how those play out.
until then, I hope you have afabulous rest of your day, week,
month, whatever you are doing.
And I will see you next time onan all new episode of the in
between.
I'm Elizabeth.
Bye!