October 12, 2023 • 39 mins
What if the secret to self-love and well-being was right on your plate? Allow us to take you on a delicious journey as we explore the profound connection between self-love, mindful eating, and nourishing food choices with our guest, Mira Dessy. Together, we unpack our personal journeys with food, discuss the lessons we've learned, and examine how eating can become an act of self-love. We also delve into issues like orthorexia and the pursuit of the "perfect" diet, reminding you that food is not just about nourishment for the body, but also about fostering community, connection, and joy.
In our exploration of mindful eating, we guide you to break away from automatic eating habits and become more conscious of the emotional and energetic ties we have with our food choices. Discover how to truly nourish your body and how your cravings can evolve as you become more mindful. We call you to celebrate your sensitivity, listen to your body, and find joy in every bite you take.
As we journey into the realm of self-care, we provide you with practical tips on how to make healthier food choices, manage your cravings, and plan meals that cater to your unique needs — even solutions as simple as pre-made salads. We underscore the power of self-compassion, and the importance of nurturing ourselves through our food choices. So tune in and join us on this delectable adventure. You might just be inspired to whip up a nourishing, love-filled meal for yourself today!
ABOUT Mira:
Mira Dessy is The Ingredient Guru. A holistic nutrition professional, author, and popular public speaker, she knows that it's not just what you eat, but what's in what you eat. Mira is a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner who helps clients find holistic solutions for chronic health issues.
Mira is a member of the National Association of Nutrition Professionals, the Society for Nutrition Education and Behavior, and the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. Additionally, she is on the Board of Directors for the American Holistic Health Association and is a member of the Professional Advisory Board for the Turner Syndrome Society. She can be found online at theingredientguru.com.
FREE GIFT from Mira:
Mira is all about being prepared even in a Crisis! Get your tips here.
CONNECT with Mira:
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Join us in the Modern Midlife Mentorship.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christina Smith (00:01):
Welcome back, shifters.
It is another week in ourOctober of self love, and self
love shows up in so many ways,right?
So one of the ways that we'regoing to talk about with Mira
Dessy today is about how we feedourselves and make that an act
of self love.
And this is a big one for me,because me and food have had
(00:24):
some struggles over the years.
So I am really excited to talkto the ingredient guru about how
we care for ourselves betterwith food.
So welcome, mira.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Mira Dessy (00:39):
Christina, thank you so much for having me on.
I'm excited to talk with you.
Christina Smith (00:45):
I am too, but before we get started, tell us a
little bit more about yourselfand what it is that you do.
Sure.
Mira Dessy (00:51):
So I am known as the ingredient guru, and what that
means is I'm that sort of nerdelite person that walks around
the grocery store and reads allthe packages and doesn't buy
them and subscribes to a wholebunch of industry newsletters so
I can see all the thingsthey're doing to our food in
(01:13):
order to then be able to sharewith people and help them find
better health and whole food.
Real food solutions.
Christina Smith (01:23):
That's really beautiful.
And I got to tell you, I grewup in a house where I learned
how to cook by boxes and bags,right.
If the food came in a box, ithad its own you know its own
instructions and stuff, becauseI was, you know, a latchkey kid,
so I often made myself dinnerand so I didn't really learn to
(01:43):
cook and I ended up eating a lotof garbage in my life, Like, oh
, like my breakfast I was justjoking with a friend the other
day my breakfast used to bePepsi and Doritos, right, and
then in my mid 30s I got theworst stomach problems and it
took a really long time to solvethem.
(02:03):
I actually went to healthcoaching school just to figure
out if there was something Icould be doing different and
surprise, surprise, sevenPepsi's a day Isn't the
recommended diet.
Mira Dessy (02:18):
No kidding.
And the other thing that Ithink is so challenging for so
many people you know, the how wefeed ourselves is one of those
things our bodies are somiraculously made.
It can tolerate a lot of abuseand all of a sudden, when things
start not working properly, wedon't know where that came from,
(02:41):
because it has taken place likeyou play in your case, for
example over decades, and thenthe symptoms mimic so many other
things.
You wind up going through thisbattery of tests and
unfortunately and I havepersonally been down this road
myself as well, unfortunately aswonderful as doctors are and as
(03:05):
much as they care and they wantto help and they want to
support their nutrition,education is about that much, so
small, and they don'tnecessarily look at food as part
of the solution.
Christina Smith (03:23):
Yeah, it definitely is part of the
solution, Because after I fixedmy diet, I wouldn't say
everything went away.
I had some stress issues toothat I really had to manage
through.
But it's really the way that Iwas looking at food, where it
was like even today, when I getinto my hot flashes or my PMS, I
(03:45):
can get to the point where Ijust like I'm like I've been
eating for 46 years I got to dothis for the rest of my life and
it becomes frustrating to me,because of all the issues that
I've had, that now I stay awayfrom a lot of foods because I
know that they're not going tomake me feel good, and so I can
(04:05):
get really frustrated with thispart.
And the thing that has helpedme is a lot of self compassion
and being able to say okay,Christina, this is like just
like the topic of our show.
Right is like eating is a formof self love.
And I'm not sure you know, I'msure that there's all kinds of
therapeutic issues in my headaround food, and I think that
(04:27):
there are for a lot of women,because at least when I was
growing up, it was like no fats,all the fats are bad, don't eat
fats, right.
And then what did the foodcompanies do?
But they threw in a lot ofsugar, because they were like,
well, we need to get flavorsomehow, let's throw in sugar.
And then our culture got evenmore obese and we were like, oh,
maybe sugar is bad.
Mira Dessy (04:50):
Well, you know, one of the things that I want to, I
want to address something yousaid right at the very beginning
of that statement is, you know,talking about trying to
overcome decades of mindlesseating.
We just ate food.
Was food we're.
We're taught growing up oh,food doesn't really matter.
Calories, calories, calorie andwe can dive deeper into that if
(05:13):
you want, but they arecertainly not all equal.
And then the other thing thathappens is everybody gives us
this oh well, if you want toinsert health condition here,
you know that you're looking tolose weight.
Eat less, exercise more.
That's not always the answer.
The answer is we need to eatthe right foods and maybe we're
exercising too much.
(05:33):
Like it's it's all about bioindividuality.
However, one of the things thattends to happen is a lot of
people then go oh, I need toreally like double down, I need
to get firm with myself, I needto really pay attention to
everything, and we become sohyper focused that there is a
(05:54):
potential to develop a conditioncalled orthorexia.
Christina Smith (05:57):
Yes, I had that when I went to health coaching
school because of that.
Mira Dessy (06:01):
Right, where everything has to be perfect,
and what that essentially doesis take away any enjoyment you
possibly ever had with food,because you are so hyper focused
on.
Everything has to be exactlyright.
You can't eat out, you can'teat with friends, you can't
enjoy treats, you can't do allthese things, and food is
(06:23):
definitely there to nourish usand to support our body so that
we can grow and be healthy, butit's also part of our community.
It's it's part of gatheringsand all of these things that get
blown out the window when weall of a sudden decide that we
have to be perfect, and it isreally actually kind of icky.
(06:45):
The goal is instead to bemindful and to pay attention so
that we can really listen towhat's going on with our body.
Christina Smith (06:57):
Yeah, I love that so much because that's what
I've learned to do and I feellike, for all those people out
there that ever been called toosensitive, I want you to
celebrate that, because it's mysensitivity that can say that
tomato is not gonna feel good inmy stomach, and I already know
(07:18):
that, right, because of my pastexperience.
But the only reason I know thatis because I had to become
really mindful about how foodfelt in my body, and it's a
thing that I never paidattention to before.
Like you said, you know we justput the calories in because we
have to eat three times a day orwhatever.
You know, bio-individualismworks for us.
(07:40):
But that mindfulness has had megoing.
Oh, now I actually know that aPepsi isn't gonna feel good, or
even if it doesn't hurt me inthe moment, like I know I'm
gonna crash in an hour, I'm notgonna feel good and I don't
really have time to be thatfuzzy headed today, right, so I
can start getting used to.
(08:02):
Like, how does my body react tothat?
Is that what you mean bymindfulness?
Mira Dessy (08:07):
That's part of it.
There's a couple of differentaspects.
So one is certainly recognizingwhen your body doesn't feel
well when you eat certain things, because part of the reason we
eat certain things is thanks tothe food producers who make them
hyper palatable and weessentially become addicted to
(08:28):
oh I'm hungry, I'll have Doritos.
Oh I'm thirsty, I'll have aPepsi, whatever those become our
default settings for food andthirst.
You know quenching and reallyit's neither.
And the other part of it is alsolearning to tap in mindfully to
(08:48):
some of the habits that webuilt, because, again, we tend
to eat on autopilot.
You know, humans like the same.
You know, not everybody likesthe same 20 foods, but as humans
we tend to like about 20 foods.
We have our favorites and thoseare the ones that we want to
eat all the time.
And unfortunately, if we growup without good options or good
(09:11):
healthy habits modeled for us,we then grow up thinking that,
you know, some of these thingsthat pass for food at the
grocery store are what we shouldbe eating.
And then the other part of that, the most important part, is we
also don't learn to tie howwe're feeling emotionally or
(09:33):
energetically with the foodchoices that we're making.
And it's really challengingbecause we I remember when I
first went to school and therewas this form that said what do
you eat when you're happy?
What do you eat when you're sad?
What do you eat when you'reangry?
What do you eat?
Who thinks about that?
Christina Smith (09:54):
Right, just do it automatically.
Mira Dessy (09:56):
Right, and the answer for most of them, by the
way, was chocolate.
Christina Smith (10:02):
What I'm feeling in emotion.
Chocolate is the answer.
Mira Dessy (10:06):
But by the end of my training I had really developed
so much more awareness and Icould tell there were certain
times where, like if I wasstressed or angry, I wanted
something crunchy, I neededsomething noisy, and salt was
like a really big thing.
And I never really thoughtabout that before Mm-hmm.
And I think that for many of us, because we don't, we're not
(10:32):
taught to look at ourselves asthis holistic whole body, mm-hmm
.
Aspect of being we forget thatit is truly mind, body, spirit,
and so as we nourish the body,we're also nourishing or
responding to other aspects ofourselves that may need support
(10:54):
as well, and sometimes itdoesn't.
Sometimes we're just eatingbecause, yes, I'm hungry.
The weird thing is, I rememberbeing so startled it was
probably about three quarters ofthe way through school when I
got to a point where I realizedthat when you nourish your body
instead of just feeding it, alot of your cravings go away, no
(11:17):
longer craving sweets the sameway I used to.
I was no longer as drawn tocertain foods because I was
really developing this awarenessof how to connect with my body.
And then the moment that reallykind of blew me away.
(11:38):
And I find this works withclients to because as we start
changing our diet, we go throughlearning how to, how to balance
, create foundational habits,had more veggies, eat less sugar
, all those wonderful things.
All of a sudden they go.
I'm craving broccoli.
Is that weird?
I'm like no, that's a creepy Ican support.
Christina Smith (12:00):
Yes, yes, that happens to me too.
Like once I started payingattention to my body, all that
garbage that I was buying at thegas stations for, you know, a
snack or lunch or whatever LikeI started realizing that it
wasn't making me feel good.
And even today, like I used tolove sweets and today, like one
(12:20):
or two bites is plenty for me,like I do not need that.
Now my husband has the oppositeproblem.
He wants to eat everything.
So he like we're jealous ofeach other because I want to be
able to be like I can eatanything and just throw it in my
stomach.
And he wants to be to the pointwhere he is just being a little
bit more mindful because hisbowl device creamer a bit large,
(12:43):
my judgment.
But, but that is true after awhile.
Because now I actually cravesalads which is, you know who
knew that that could be a thingright and I actually like crave
the greens.
And I crave fiber, fiber foodsbecause I know that they're
going to help me feel better andthey're going to last me longer
(13:06):
.
Like I can't even imagine Eatingthe way I did 15 years ago
today, because I feel like Iwould be so exhausted and cranky
when I think back to thatperiod of my life.
I was going through a divorceand stuff and I know I was
eating all of the garbage, right, lots of pizza, lots of stuff,
(13:27):
and not that pizza is bad foryou, but I'm sure that you you
talk about like a balance offoods, right and, and having
just that one food.
Now, when I eat pizza has to belike a Friday or Saturday night
when I have nothing else to do,because chances are, I know in
my body I'm going to go right tosleep and or I'm going to feel
drowsy, like I can't do pizzaduring the day.
I'm going to need a nap, and sothat's one of my sensitivities
(13:55):
and how I've learned how to bemindful of being like okay.
Well, there's certain foodsthat I are not going to help me
During the day because I'm notgoing to last.
Sure, and some of it, too, isalso learning to find.
Mira Dessy (14:08):
Alternatives to the foods that we love.
So, for example, I know that Istruggle with gluten does
doesn't agree with me, and sofor me, if I'm going to have a
pizza, generally it needs to besomething that's on a.
You know, I can't do atraditional Thick crust, you
(14:32):
know, stuffed crust, like I usedto do.
All of that when I was incollege and even when I was a
young adult, like that was mything.
I loved pizza.
And now, generally, either it'sgoing to be made from a gluten
free dough or a cauliflower baseand or it's going to be
(14:53):
Something like a pizza for youknow, perhaps a siate wrap with
the sauce and all the toppingsand everything, and I'm just
making little mini ones andhaving those instead.
And what I find and often whenI'm working with people around,
the concept of mindfulness,trying to improve, help them,
you know, build that deeperconnection.
(15:14):
It's not so much about the food.
In the end, it's about thecompany, or it's about the set,
or it's about what's going on.
That makes it even moreenjoyable for us, because if it
was just about the food, I Thinkwe're missing a whole piece of
how we're nourishing ourselves.
Christina Smith (15:33):
Mmm, I really like that, yeah, and because it
really depends on, for me, theattitude I have when I get in
the kitchen, because the biggestthing for me is I grew up as
like the second mother to myfour siblings and so I was
always in charge of the cookingand the dinner and the blah,
blah, blah, and I Grew up wherethe kitchen wasn't a fun place
(15:56):
to be.
It was just like a lot of work.
And my husband grew up thecomplete opposite, where being
in the kitchen meant your familywas around, great food was
being made, conversation washappening and they had like this
really good.
You know, feeling around beingin the kitchen where it was like
(16:16):
the complete opposite for me.
So for me, I have to like, Imean even over above, because I
think, like so many people, knowwhat they should and should not
eat.
It's this mindfulness piece,right?
I mean we already know that thechocolate 12 chocolate cupcakes
for breakfast isn't good, butwe want to do it anyway.
And and that's really why Iwrote the inviting shift book,
(16:39):
because when I became a healthcoach, it was like these women
who want to lose weight, most ofthe time they know what they
need to do, right, it's actuallygetting through what I call the
f-stage fear, fortitude orwhatever f4.
Do you want?
to use, because that's where westart making the changes, right,
and that's where we startmaking these different choices.
And that's really the hard part.
(17:00):
It's not the whole.
Okay, I get it, I shouldn't dogluten or sugar or whatever is
the thing that's catalyst in me?
Right, that's making the badchoices.
But when we actually go to makethose choices, like you said, we
can often go back to thosedefaults, right, like I'm really
hungry, I don't have a lot oftime, great, I can grab a Pepsi
and Doritos.
Yeah, I knew that that wasn'tnourishing me, but I didn't give
(17:24):
myself enough, like I didn'tput enough emphasis on this part
of ourselves that, like, how amI nourishing my body?
And it wasn't just food, it wasoften like drinking enough
water or getting enough sleep,right, like all these things
that we know we should be doing.
Eating fresh foods, whole foodsare always the best foods,
(17:46):
right, like and, and for me, itwas really about how do I get
myself to Stop in the moment,take a breath, have some
compassion and say yes,christina, I know that you're
really busy and we're gonna take30 minutes to go make ourselves
something that's worth eating.
You know, that's actually gonnanourish us and help us get
(18:08):
through the rest of the dayInstead of going back to those
defaults, and I guess I'mbringing this up because I want
people to know that this Soundslike such a simple thing.
Like Maya Angelou, doesn't yousay like when you know better
you?
Mira Dessy (18:21):
do better, not all the time, and you know there's.
There's two points that I'dlike to bring up.
One is you know I I mentioned amoment ago that For a lot of
people, food is about gatheringand family or friends and
whatever.
That doesn't mean that that'sthe only thing that it's about.
Sometimes food is about takingthat time for yourself and
(18:47):
something really special Becauseit is a form of self-care and
self-love.
So, for example, for me, myhusband does not like lamb.
I love it, and so we usuallyhave one or two pork chop not
pork chops, lamb chops in thefreezer and If he happens to be
away, he's, you know, over at afriend's playing pool or he's
(19:09):
out on a trip or whatever.
I'm having lamb chop for dinnerand I make myself like this
really lovely meal and I sitdown and, yes, sometimes I put
it on the good China andsometimes I'll even light a
candle.
It's about taking care ofyourself and nourishing yourself
.
The other thing that comes upis because so much of what we've
(19:33):
learned is on Autopilot.
It's a default setting.
It's not like you're expectedto listen to this podcast, for
example, and then tomorrowyou're gonna wake up and bam,
everything's gonna be personright, it's about baby steps,
it's about okay, what are somethings that I can do that would
(19:57):
make this Better, easier, moresupportive for me?
Maybe I Can make myself a fewsalad in a jar things where you
layer them in a particular orderand you've got you know Two or
three of them in the fridgeready to go.
So then, when you wantsomething, eat there, it is
because one of the things thathappens when we're feeling
(20:18):
hungry, overwhelmed, sad, insertwhatever.
Here we reach for the junkbecause it's a quick fix and our
bodies have learned that it's aquick fix and our brain sort of
disassociates if we go oh wait,I could do that.
Or I've got this really yummysalad that I actually made
myself with my favorite bluecheese dressing.
So I'm gonna have that you knowthat easy, or also Making sure
(20:43):
that we look at where do youstruggle the most.
Some people breakfast is areally hard thing.
I don't know what to dobreakfast.
I'm like I'd rather sleep.
I'm up, I got to get out thedoor.
It's easy to run through DunkinDonuts and just grab a donut
and a coffee.
So what do you do to supportyourself?
How can you make that easierfor you?
Other people it's three o'clockin the afternoon.
I feel like man.
I really need a Snickers rightnow.
(21:04):
You know what.
Figuring out what those troublespots are start there.
And then you, instead of doingthat, what can I do to nourish
myself?
How do I have an more optimalchoice available?
And Then, as you start to dothat, the goal is, you know,
(21:24):
hopefully you're working with acoach or even if you're doing it
on your own, you learn how muchbetter you feel and you think
back and you're like man.
Three months ago I was likeshaking down the candy machine
and now I bring a healthy snackwith me and I love it.
And, matter of fact, you know,the people who work around me
are jealous and they want me tostart making it for them too.
(21:45):
If you never know, you know,but those are.
It's about baby steps, it'sabout progress, not perfection.
Christina Smith (21:53):
I really love that because I mean, even though
I went to health coachingschool, it took me years to get
to like a 95% whole foods dietbecause, again, I had never
learned how to cook.
So to expect that tomorrow I'mgoing to wake up and suddenly
know how to whip myself up Allthe great tasting and good,
(22:13):
healthy foods that I wantedwould be crazy.
But it's really about comparingourselves.
Am I doing better this weekthan I was all those other weeks
?
Okay, great.
Well then I'm in the rightdirection and taking these like
little steps, because I alwaysthink like about New Year's
resolutions.
Where do I wish that tomorrowI'm going to wake up and I'm
going to do the exercise and I'mgoing to eat right, I'm going
(22:36):
to get the water and the blahand the blah and the meditating
and the journaling.
Yes, I would like to believethat tomorrow I'm going to wake
up like a different person, butchances are that's way too many
changes at one time for us tokeep up with.
That's why we see people gointo the gym for the first week
and then weeks two, three, four.
You see less and less peopleagain.
(22:56):
It's because they're trying towhite knuckle their way through
it instead of like they do itwith discipline instead of love,
and I think that that's wherewe're trying to get to is like
we're doing this because it'sreally.
I do this because it's reallygood for myself, and I love that
you were talking about how weprepare, right.
(23:16):
Like I know that during the day, I get so busy that I don't
want to stop for an hour to gocook myself a meal and do all of
that stuff.
So I do prepare.
On Sundays, I usually have somekind of bean salad that I can
add to just lettuce, so that allthe ingredients for my salad
are already in this salad, andthen I just add lettuce and boom
(23:37):
, I have a great salad and ittastes delicious because I made
it on a Sunday when I had plentyof time and I could actually
enjoy being in the kitchen,which is a huge thing.
And I love the idea of like youalmost create a dinner date for
yourself, like I'm going to makemyself a good meal, right,
instead of expecting somebodyelse to do it or me doing it
(23:59):
just for my husband or whomever.
I'm going to make this reallygreat meal because I also do
that.
I find that I really enjoycooking when my husband's not in
the house and I can makewhatever I want without him
going.
What you doing?
Why you doing it that way?
Mira Dessy (24:17):
I also think one really important thing for
people to keep in mind is thatwe are so unused to taking care
of ourselves.
We're used to taking care ofeverybody else first, especially
if you're the one who does mostof the nurturing in your family
(24:39):
.
When it comes to, you know,child responsibilities, if you
have kids, or foodresponsibilities, or all the
different things that have tohappen to make a household and a
life run.
If you're the one who's incharge of most of it for other
people, you learn to take careof everybody else first and
yourself last.
So mindfulness is recognizingwhen you need a little love and
(25:02):
a little attention as well.
And then the other thing thatwe need to keep in mind about
how we accomplish all of this.
Unfortunately, our society isvery much this sort of drill
sergeant, get her done, pullyourself up by your moose drops
like rah, rah, rah.
(25:22):
It's really harsh.
And instead we need to go ohman, like this is a little
tougher than I thought, or Ineed a little more care and
attention here, and if we have ablip which is going to happen,
it does instead of beatingourselves up going, oh I'm such
a failure, I have no willpower,I'm so weak Like please don't
(25:46):
use those words to yourself,because your mind and your body
and your spirit, they hear whatyou say and what you think, and
so instead we go.
Oh, maybe that wasn't the bestchoice.
So now, how am I going to makesure that I am taking care of
myself so that that doesn'thappen again?
(26:07):
What can I do to be mindful ofthe potential for this situation
to happen again?
Christina Smith (26:14):
I like that, like almost like learning a
lesson from it.
Like, where was it that I brokedown and decided that 12
cupcakes for breakfast was agood idea, right?
And so tracing that back sothat we can learn from it, right
?
I mean, that's really what itis.
And when I ate those 12cupcakes, how did I feel?
Oh, I felt like I wanted tocrash all day.
(26:36):
And so when we keep thatmindfulness in our head at least
for me, when I have a badexperience with food because
I've eaten too much or I'veeaten the wrong things, I always
go something to remember nexttime, christina, when we're
making that same choice.
Mira Dessy (26:55):
I call that three cookie syndrome.
It's something that, when I'mworking with clients, we talk
about.
Let's say, for example, theserving size on a package of
cookies is two cookies and youeat three cookies.
And immediately you feel so badthat you ate three cookies.
You just finished the rest ofthe sleeve of thin mints.
I might as well Get thisdefeatist attitude.
(27:19):
And then we go okay, so I hadthree cookies, wasn't the choice
I wanted to make?
So I'm going to accept that Idid that and I'm going to think
about was I hungry for somethingelse?
Did I not have enough that Ineeded that little extra?
(27:40):
Like, what is it that caused meto do that?
And I'm also not saying that wehave to go strictly by serving
sizes, because, like, I couldchop for a whole hour on that
topic alone, but just be awareof the fact that we have this
sort of weird default thathappens when we overconsume.
Something like we have acupcake and then we go, oh, that
(28:01):
was really good, I'm gonna haveanother cupcake.
And then all of a sudden, nextthing you know, you're sitting
there with crumbs all around youand you've eaten 12 cupcakes
and you're like oh, like now Idon't feel good.
How do we stop ourselves fromdevolving into that sort of
mindless downward spiral?
(28:21):
And the way you do that is bypaying attention and by being
kind to ourselves.
Christina Smith (28:27):
I've been watching this Netflix
documentary on centurions, onpeople who are hundred.
Right yeah, the blue line yeah,yeah, and part of that is about
food.
But it's like the one cultureand I forget you have to watch
the documentary if you want toknow but there was one culture
(28:48):
that they were studying wherethey only eat to their 80% full.
Mira Dessy (28:53):
That's their cultural.
They're right there.
What's happening is they're 80%full.
Christina Smith (28:59):
Yeah, which I think is so different than how
we I mean the serving sizes thatwe have here in the US are kind
of insane.
The foods that they give us andthe really, really dense foods,
like if you go out to eat andthey're just like that's got to
feed three people, how is thatmy serving size?
But I know that in this culturewe are used to eating until we
(29:23):
are like stuffed, and that'snever really felt good to me.
My husband doesn't ever hitthat point.
I don't know.
I don't know if what's going onwith his stomach, but he's got
like an extra stomach somewherebecause he never and he eats a
huge amount of food.
But his mindfulness is that hefasts so that he can eat in a
(29:44):
short period of time and he caneat almost as much as he wants
to eat, because he's eating allhis calories within a few hours.
And that is the way that,mindfully, he's come to the
conclusion that that actuallymakes him feel really good.
It gives him energy during theday.
He gets a feeling of satiationor of being satiated, so that he
(30:07):
doesn't do all the craving allthe time.
And he really I mean during theday, when he's not, when he's
working he doesn't even thinkabout food, which is pretty
amazing for him.
So I guess what I'm getting tothe point of like this is all
individualized and that's whycoming back to the mindfulness
is so important, like whatactually feels good in my body.
I've tried his fasting because Iwould be a big fan of being
(30:31):
able to eat just once a day andlike getting all my calories in,
but my body is built more likea small rodent, where it really
wants me to eat like 10 times aday, just like three bites, and
that's painful for me sometimes,but and I, because of that,
I've been able to like okay.
(30:53):
Well, here's little snacks, andin my life I never really had
snacks.
I had snacks for meals maybe,but like I didn't have snacks in
addition to my meals and thatactually helps me stay
energetically good all day andnice and clear, because my, I
guess my metabolism is justconstantly working and that that
(31:13):
feels good to me, whereas it'snot going to feel good for my
husband, because if he startseating, he'll have the 12
cupcakes and the cookies and theyou know all the things he eats
good food too, but he, you know, whatever is available, he'll
shove it in his mouth, and so Ireally think and that's why I
brought you on here was thateating well and being mindful
(31:36):
about our food is a way that wereally nourish and nurture
ourselves, right?
So this is like our.
I talk about archetypes a lot,so this is a bit like our mother
archetype and, like you said,we rarely mother ourselves.
Mira Dessy (31:52):
And this is.
Christina Smith (31:53):
You said it in different words, but I'm going
to say that we rarely motherourselves.
We take care of everyone else.
First is what you were saying,and then you know it's almost
like we have to deserve takingcare of ourselves.
Like, have I earned taking careof myself instead of going?
I don't need a special occasionto make myself a lamb chop or
(32:14):
whatever it is that I want.
I can do it anytime.
And I know that when I'mactually cooking from real
ingredients, now that I'velearned, there's something
really beautiful about it.
There's something reallywonderful about smelling the
foods as they're cooking andlike a lot of love that goes
(32:34):
into it and you know tasting andstuff.
It's become a more beautifulexperience.
So even if your experience isin the kitchen haven't been
great thus far, that can shiftwe just for me it took a lot of
compassion and patience of going.
Okay, christina, I know you'rereally hungry now because I used
(32:55):
to wait until I was likestarving and my brain was
starving.
So now I noticed it because I'mmore mindful, I noticed it
ahead of time why I'm going tobe hungry in like an hour.
I really should stop what I'mdoing and go take care of that,
because if I don't, I know thatthe rest of my day emotionally,
mentally, gets all fuzzy.
(33:16):
If I get to that like I'mstarving right now kind of phase
.
It's like that Snickerscommercial, the diva and the
benzine.
Mira Dessy (33:24):
They're like I think you need a snack, you're hangry
, yeah right, and I also want toencourage people to remember
that the more we take care ofourselves, the more energy,
resilience, flexibility,foundation we have to take care
(33:47):
of others.
Yeah.
Not about being selfish.
It's about being practical,because if you burn yourself out
and exhaust yourself becauseyou're doing for everybody else
and so all that's left is to gooh yeah, there's popcorn for
dinner Like that's not going tobe, that's not going to be a
great choice, somewhere down theline it's going to catch up
with you.
Christina Smith (34:07):
Yeah, it sure does.
Well, thank you so much forsharing with us today.
I know that you have a freegift for us.
You want to tell us about that.
Mira Dessy (34:16):
I do, I'm so excited .
So, as the ingredient guru, oneof the things that I believe is
we should be able to nurtureourselves under any circumstance
, including during emergencysituations.
So I have a program called thePreparedness Pantry Masterclass,
where I teach people how tobuild a preparedness pantry, how
(34:37):
to build it with foods thattheir family will actually eat
Please don't buy this to saythat.
And so what I've done is thefirst module of that class is
called 10 Tips for EmergencyPreparedness, and this is just
general emergency preparednessthings that you need to know to
be prepared.
I have opened that module upfor free to everybody who's
(35:01):
listening to this, and so I willsend you the link.
Yes, and you're welcome to comeand take that class and learn
more about the things you needto know.
Christina Smith (35:11):
What a great way to take care of yourself is
to feel prepared for whenemergencies are happening, and I
love the idea of you putting awhole course together on how you
can still nourish yourself.
Well, because you're right,like when I look at the the
prepareer stuff, it's usuallylike boxed, canned, high
(35:33):
ingredient type of stuff thatyou can't read all the
ingredients, or you know, we goback to my childhood of cooking
out of boxes that have theinstructions on them.
Mira Dessy (35:44):
You offer want to be in a situation where, if you're
being warned that there's anemergency coming there's a
blizzard, there's a flood,there's a hurricane, whatever
the last thing you really wantto do if you can at all help, it
is get online at the grocerystore with everybody else who's
filled their shopping carts upwith crappy food.
You just don't want to be inthat chaotic mind Think you want
(36:06):
to be home going.
Oh, I've got what I need.
I'm good.
Christina Smith (36:11):
Beautiful, yeah , beautiful.
What a great way of taking careof yourself.
Well, mira, thank you so muchfor being here with us today.
I really appreciate you.
I know that this is goinghopefully to hit home for some
people.
So if you need more informationon how we nourish and nurture
ourselves through food and selflove, mira has some links below.
(36:34):
I want you to go visit them.
Go shout out at her socialmedia and she's got all kinds of
great tips that can come to youabout how we really take care
of ourselves through food, howwe have this self love through
food.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, christina.
It was lovely to talk with you,you too.
(36:54):
Thank you, listeners, fortuning in.
We'll see you next week.
Welcome back, shifters.
It is another week in ourOctober of self love, and self
love shows up in so many ways,right?
So one of the ways that we'regoing to talk about with Mira
Dessy today is about how we feedourselves and make that an act
of self love.
And this is a big one for me,because me and food have had
(00:24):
some struggles over the years.
So I am really excited to talkto the ingredient guru about how
we care for ourselves betterwith food.
So welcome, mira.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Mira Dessy (00:39):
Christina, thank you so much for having me on.
I'm excited to talk with you.
Christina Smith (00:45):
I am too, but before we get started, tell us a
little bit more about yourselfand what it is that you do.
Sure.
Mira Dessy (00:51):
So I am known as the ingredient guru, and what that
means is I'm that sort of nerdelite person that walks around
the grocery store and reads allthe packages and doesn't buy
them and subscribes to a wholebunch of industry newsletters so
I can see all the thingsthey're doing to our food in
(01:13):
order to then be able to sharewith people and help them find
better health and whole food.
Real food solutions.
Christina Smith (01:23):
That's really beautiful.
And I got to tell you, I grewup in a house where I learned
how to cook by boxes and bags,right.
If the food came in a box, ithad its own you know its own
instructions and stuff, becauseI was, you know, a latchkey kid,
so I often made myself dinnerand so I didn't really learn to
(01:43):
cook and I ended up eating a lotof garbage in my life, Like, oh
, like my breakfast I was justjoking with a friend the other
day my breakfast used to bePepsi and Doritos, right, and
then in my mid 30s I got theworst stomach problems and it
took a really long time to solvethem.
(02:03):
I actually went to healthcoaching school just to figure
out if there was something Icould be doing different and
surprise, surprise, sevenPepsi's a day Isn't the
recommended diet.
Mira Dessy (02:18):
No kidding.
And the other thing that Ithink is so challenging for so
many people you know, the how wefeed ourselves is one of those
things our bodies are somiraculously made.
It can tolerate a lot of abuseand all of a sudden, when things
start not working properly, wedon't know where that came from,
(02:41):
because it has taken place likeyou play in your case, for
example over decades, and thenthe symptoms mimic so many other
things.
You wind up going through thisbattery of tests and
unfortunately and I havepersonally been down this road
myself as well, unfortunately aswonderful as doctors are and as
(03:05):
much as they care and they wantto help and they want to
support their nutrition,education is about that much, so
small, and they don'tnecessarily look at food as part
of the solution.
Christina Smith (03:23):
Yeah, it definitely is part of the
solution, Because after I fixedmy diet, I wouldn't say
everything went away.
I had some stress issues toothat I really had to manage
through.
But it's really the way that Iwas looking at food, where it
was like even today, when I getinto my hot flashes or my PMS, I
(03:45):
can get to the point where Ijust like I'm like I've been
eating for 46 years I got to dothis for the rest of my life and
it becomes frustrating to me,because of all the issues that
I've had, that now I stay awayfrom a lot of foods because I
know that they're not going tomake me feel good, and so I can
(04:05):
get really frustrated with thispart.
And the thing that has helpedme is a lot of self compassion
and being able to say okay,Christina, this is like just
like the topic of our show.
Right is like eating is a formof self love.
And I'm not sure you know, I'msure that there's all kinds of
therapeutic issues in my headaround food, and I think that
(04:27):
there are for a lot of women,because at least when I was
growing up, it was like no fats,all the fats are bad, don't eat
fats, right.
And then what did the foodcompanies do?
But they threw in a lot ofsugar, because they were like,
well, we need to get flavorsomehow, let's throw in sugar.
And then our culture got evenmore obese and we were like, oh,
maybe sugar is bad.
Mira Dessy (04:50):
Well, you know, one of the things that I want to, I
want to address something yousaid right at the very beginning
of that statement is, you know,talking about trying to
overcome decades of mindlesseating.
We just ate food.
Was food we're.
We're taught growing up oh,food doesn't really matter.
Calories, calories, calorie andwe can dive deeper into that if
(05:13):
you want, but they arecertainly not all equal.
And then the other thing thathappens is everybody gives us
this oh well, if you want toinsert health condition here,
you know that you're looking tolose weight.
Eat less, exercise more.
That's not always the answer.
The answer is we need to eatthe right foods and maybe we're
exercising too much.
(05:33):
Like it's it's all about bioindividuality.
However, one of the things thattends to happen is a lot of
people then go oh, I need toreally like double down, I need
to get firm with myself, I needto really pay attention to
everything, and we become sohyper focused that there is a
(05:54):
potential to develop a conditioncalled orthorexia.
Christina Smith (05:57):
Yes, I had that when I went to health coaching
school because of that.
Mira Dessy (06:01):
Right, where everything has to be perfect,
and what that essentially doesis take away any enjoyment you
possibly ever had with food,because you are so hyper focused
on.
Everything has to be exactlyright.
You can't eat out, you can'teat with friends, you can't
enjoy treats, you can't do allthese things, and food is
(06:23):
definitely there to nourish usand to support our body so that
we can grow and be healthy, butit's also part of our community.
It's it's part of gatheringsand all of these things that get
blown out the window when weall of a sudden decide that we
have to be perfect, and it isreally actually kind of icky.
(06:45):
The goal is instead to bemindful and to pay attention so
that we can really listen towhat's going on with our body.
Christina Smith (06:57):
Yeah, I love that so much because that's what
I've learned to do and I feellike, for all those people out
there that ever been called toosensitive, I want you to
celebrate that, because it's mysensitivity that can say that
tomato is not gonna feel good inmy stomach, and I already know
(07:18):
that, right, because of my pastexperience.
But the only reason I know thatis because I had to become
really mindful about how foodfelt in my body, and it's a
thing that I never paidattention to before.
Like you said, you know we justput the calories in because we
have to eat three times a day orwhatever.
You know, bio-individualismworks for us.
(07:40):
But that mindfulness has had megoing.
Oh, now I actually know that aPepsi isn't gonna feel good, or
even if it doesn't hurt me inthe moment, like I know I'm
gonna crash in an hour, I'm notgonna feel good and I don't
really have time to be thatfuzzy headed today, right, so I
can start getting used to.
(08:02):
Like, how does my body react tothat?
Is that what you mean bymindfulness?
Mira Dessy (08:07):
That's part of it.
There's a couple of differentaspects.
So one is certainly recognizingwhen your body doesn't feel
well when you eat certain things, because part of the reason we
eat certain things is thanks tothe food producers who make them
hyper palatable and weessentially become addicted to
(08:28):
oh I'm hungry, I'll have Doritos.
Oh I'm thirsty, I'll have aPepsi, whatever those become our
default settings for food andthirst.
You know quenching and reallyit's neither.
And the other part of it is alsolearning to tap in mindfully to
(08:48):
some of the habits that webuilt, because, again, we tend
to eat on autopilot.
You know, humans like the same.
You know, not everybody likesthe same 20 foods, but as humans
we tend to like about 20 foods.
We have our favorites and thoseare the ones that we want to
eat all the time.
And unfortunately, if we growup without good options or good
(09:11):
healthy habits modeled for us,we then grow up thinking that,
you know, some of these thingsthat pass for food at the
grocery store are what we shouldbe eating.
And then the other part of that, the most important part, is we
also don't learn to tie howwe're feeling emotionally or
(09:33):
energetically with the foodchoices that we're making.
And it's really challengingbecause we I remember when I
first went to school and therewas this form that said what do
you eat when you're happy?
What do you eat when you're sad?
What do you eat when you'reangry?
What do you eat?
Who thinks about that?
Christina Smith (09:54):
Right, just do it automatically.
Mira Dessy (09:56):
Right, and the answer for most of them, by the
way, was chocolate.
Christina Smith (10:02):
What I'm feeling in emotion.
Chocolate is the answer.
Mira Dessy (10:06):
But by the end of my training I had really developed
so much more awareness and Icould tell there were certain
times where, like if I wasstressed or angry, I wanted
something crunchy, I neededsomething noisy, and salt was
like a really big thing.
And I never really thoughtabout that before Mm-hmm.
And I think that for many of us, because we don't, we're not
(10:32):
taught to look at ourselves asthis holistic whole body, mm-hmm
.
Aspect of being we forget thatit is truly mind, body, spirit,
and so as we nourish the body,we're also nourishing or
responding to other aspects ofourselves that may need support
(10:54):
as well, and sometimes itdoesn't.
Sometimes we're just eatingbecause, yes, I'm hungry.
The weird thing is, I rememberbeing so startled it was
probably about three quarters ofthe way through school when I
got to a point where I realizedthat when you nourish your body
instead of just feeding it, alot of your cravings go away, no
(11:17):
longer craving sweets the sameway I used to.
I was no longer as drawn tocertain foods because I was
really developing this awarenessof how to connect with my body.
And then the moment that reallykind of blew me away.
(11:38):
And I find this works withclients to because as we start
changing our diet, we go throughlearning how to, how to balance
, create foundational habits,had more veggies, eat less sugar
, all those wonderful things.
All of a sudden they go.
I'm craving broccoli.
Is that weird?
I'm like no, that's a creepy Ican support.
Christina Smith (12:00):
Yes, yes, that happens to me too.
Like once I started payingattention to my body, all that
garbage that I was buying at thegas stations for, you know, a
snack or lunch or whatever LikeI started realizing that it
wasn't making me feel good.
And even today, like I used tolove sweets and today, like one
(12:20):
or two bites is plenty for me,like I do not need that.
Now my husband has the oppositeproblem.
He wants to eat everything.
So he like we're jealous ofeach other because I want to be
able to be like I can eatanything and just throw it in my
stomach.
And he wants to be to the pointwhere he is just being a little
bit more mindful because hisbowl device creamer a bit large,
(12:43):
my judgment.
But, but that is true after awhile.
Because now I actually cravesalads which is, you know who
knew that that could be a thingright and I actually like crave
the greens.
And I crave fiber, fiber foodsbecause I know that they're
going to help me feel better andthey're going to last me longer
(13:06):
.
Like I can't even imagine Eatingthe way I did 15 years ago
today, because I feel like Iwould be so exhausted and cranky
when I think back to thatperiod of my life.
I was going through a divorceand stuff and I know I was
eating all of the garbage, right, lots of pizza, lots of stuff,
(13:27):
and not that pizza is bad foryou, but I'm sure that you you
talk about like a balance offoods, right and, and having
just that one food.
Now, when I eat pizza has to belike a Friday or Saturday night
when I have nothing else to do,because chances are, I know in
my body I'm going to go right tosleep and or I'm going to feel
drowsy, like I can't do pizzaduring the day.
I'm going to need a nap, and sothat's one of my sensitivities
(13:55):
and how I've learned how to bemindful of being like okay.
Well, there's certain foodsthat I are not going to help me
During the day because I'm notgoing to last.
Sure, and some of it, too, isalso learning to find.
Mira Dessy (14:08):
Alternatives to the foods that we love.
So, for example, I know that Istruggle with gluten does
doesn't agree with me, and sofor me, if I'm going to have a
pizza, generally it needs to besomething that's on a.
You know, I can't do atraditional Thick crust, you
(14:32):
know, stuffed crust, like I usedto do.
All of that when I was incollege and even when I was a
young adult, like that was mything.
I loved pizza.
And now, generally, either it'sgoing to be made from a gluten
free dough or a cauliflower baseand or it's going to be
(14:53):
Something like a pizza for youknow, perhaps a siate wrap with
the sauce and all the toppingsand everything, and I'm just
making little mini ones andhaving those instead.
And what I find and often whenI'm working with people around,
the concept of mindfulness,trying to improve, help them,
you know, build that deeperconnection.
(15:14):
It's not so much about the food.
In the end, it's about thecompany, or it's about the set,
or it's about what's going on.
That makes it even moreenjoyable for us, because if it
was just about the food, I Thinkwe're missing a whole piece of
how we're nourishing ourselves.
Christina Smith (15:33):
Mmm, I really like that, yeah, and because it
really depends on, for me, theattitude I have when I get in
the kitchen, because the biggestthing for me is I grew up as
like the second mother to myfour siblings and so I was
always in charge of the cookingand the dinner and the blah,
blah, blah, and I Grew up wherethe kitchen wasn't a fun place
(15:56):
to be.
It was just like a lot of work.
And my husband grew up thecomplete opposite, where being
in the kitchen meant your familywas around, great food was
being made, conversation washappening and they had like this
really good.
You know, feeling around beingin the kitchen where it was like
(16:16):
the complete opposite for me.
So for me, I have to like, Imean even over above, because I
think, like so many people, knowwhat they should and should not
eat.
It's this mindfulness piece,right?
I mean we already know that thechocolate 12 chocolate cupcakes
for breakfast isn't good, butwe want to do it anyway.
And and that's really why Iwrote the inviting shift book,
(16:39):
because when I became a healthcoach, it was like these women
who want to lose weight, most ofthe time they know what they
need to do, right, it's actuallygetting through what I call the
f-stage fear, fortitude orwhatever f4.
Do you want?
to use, because that's where westart making the changes, right,
and that's where we startmaking these different choices.
And that's really the hard part.
(17:00):
It's not the whole.
Okay, I get it, I shouldn't dogluten or sugar or whatever is
the thing that's catalyst in me?
Right, that's making the badchoices.
But when we actually go to makethose choices, like you said, we
can often go back to thosedefaults, right, like I'm really
hungry, I don't have a lot oftime, great, I can grab a Pepsi
and Doritos.
Yeah, I knew that that wasn'tnourishing me, but I didn't give
(17:24):
myself enough, like I didn'tput enough emphasis on this part
of ourselves that, like, how amI nourishing my body?
And it wasn't just food, it wasoften like drinking enough
water or getting enough sleep,right, like all these things
that we know we should be doing.
Eating fresh foods, whole foodsare always the best foods,
(17:46):
right, like and, and for me, itwas really about how do I get
myself to Stop in the moment,take a breath, have some
compassion and say yes,christina, I know that you're
really busy and we're gonna take30 minutes to go make ourselves
something that's worth eating.
You know, that's actually gonnanourish us and help us get
(18:08):
through the rest of the dayInstead of going back to those
defaults, and I guess I'mbringing this up because I want
people to know that this Soundslike such a simple thing.
Like Maya Angelou, doesn't yousay like when you know better
you?
Mira Dessy (18:21):
do better, not all the time, and you know there's.
There's two points that I'dlike to bring up.
One is you know I I mentioned amoment ago that For a lot of
people, food is about gatheringand family or friends and
whatever.
That doesn't mean that that'sthe only thing that it's about.
Sometimes food is about takingthat time for yourself and
(18:47):
something really special Becauseit is a form of self-care and
self-love.
So, for example, for me, myhusband does not like lamb.
I love it, and so we usuallyhave one or two pork chop not
pork chops, lamb chops in thefreezer and If he happens to be
away, he's, you know, over at afriend's playing pool or he's
(19:09):
out on a trip or whatever.
I'm having lamb chop for dinnerand I make myself like this
really lovely meal and I sitdown and, yes, sometimes I put
it on the good China andsometimes I'll even light a
candle.
It's about taking care ofyourself and nourishing yourself
.
The other thing that comes upis because so much of what we've
(19:33):
learned is on Autopilot.
It's a default setting.
It's not like you're expectedto listen to this podcast, for
example, and then tomorrowyou're gonna wake up and bam,
everything's gonna be personright, it's about baby steps,
it's about okay, what are somethings that I can do that would
(19:57):
make this Better, easier, moresupportive for me?
Maybe I Can make myself a fewsalad in a jar things where you
layer them in a particular orderand you've got you know Two or
three of them in the fridgeready to go.
So then, when you wantsomething, eat there, it is
because one of the things thathappens when we're feeling
(20:18):
hungry, overwhelmed, sad, insertwhatever.
Here we reach for the junkbecause it's a quick fix and our
bodies have learned that it's aquick fix and our brain sort of
disassociates if we go oh wait,I could do that.
Or I've got this really yummysalad that I actually made
myself with my favorite bluecheese dressing.
So I'm gonna have that you knowthat easy, or also Making sure
(20:43):
that we look at where do youstruggle the most.
Some people breakfast is areally hard thing.
I don't know what to dobreakfast.
I'm like I'd rather sleep.
I'm up, I got to get out thedoor.
It's easy to run through DunkinDonuts and just grab a donut
and a coffee.
So what do you do to supportyourself?
How can you make that easierfor you?
Other people it's three o'clockin the afternoon.
I feel like man.
I really need a Snickers rightnow.
(21:04):
You know what.
Figuring out what those troublespots are start there.
And then you, instead of doingthat, what can I do to nourish
myself?
How do I have an more optimalchoice available?
And Then, as you start to dothat, the goal is, you know,
(21:24):
hopefully you're working with acoach or even if you're doing it
on your own, you learn how muchbetter you feel and you think
back and you're like man.
Three months ago I was likeshaking down the candy machine
and now I bring a healthy snackwith me and I love it.
And, matter of fact, you know,the people who work around me
are jealous and they want me tostart making it for them too.
(21:45):
If you never know, you know,but those are.
It's about baby steps, it'sabout progress, not perfection.
Christina Smith (21:53):
I really love that because I mean, even though
I went to health coachingschool, it took me years to get
to like a 95% whole foods dietbecause, again, I had never
learned how to cook.
So to expect that tomorrow I'mgoing to wake up and suddenly
know how to whip myself up Allthe great tasting and good,
(22:13):
healthy foods that I wantedwould be crazy.
But it's really about comparingourselves.
Am I doing better this weekthan I was all those other weeks
?
Okay, great.
Well then I'm in the rightdirection and taking these like
little steps, because I alwaysthink like about New Year's
resolutions.
Where do I wish that tomorrowI'm going to wake up and I'm
going to do the exercise and I'mgoing to eat right, I'm going
(22:36):
to get the water and the blahand the blah and the meditating
and the journaling.
Yes, I would like to believethat tomorrow I'm going to wake
up like a different person, butchances are that's way too many
changes at one time for us tokeep up with.
That's why we see people gointo the gym for the first week
and then weeks two, three, four.
You see less and less peopleagain.
(22:56):
It's because they're trying towhite knuckle their way through
it instead of like they do itwith discipline instead of love,
and I think that that's wherewe're trying to get to is like
we're doing this because it'sreally.
I do this because it's reallygood for myself, and I love that
you were talking about how weprepare, right.
(23:16):
Like I know that during the day, I get so busy that I don't
want to stop for an hour to gocook myself a meal and do all of
that stuff.
So I do prepare.
On Sundays, I usually have somekind of bean salad that I can
add to just lettuce, so that allthe ingredients for my salad
are already in this salad, andthen I just add lettuce and boom
(23:37):
, I have a great salad and ittastes delicious because I made
it on a Sunday when I had plentyof time and I could actually
enjoy being in the kitchen,which is a huge thing.
And I love the idea of like youalmost create a dinner date for
yourself, like I'm going to makemyself a good meal, right,
instead of expecting somebodyelse to do it or me doing it
(23:59):
just for my husband or whomever.
I'm going to make this reallygreat meal because I also do
that.
I find that I really enjoycooking when my husband's not in
the house and I can makewhatever I want without him
going.
What you doing?
Why you doing it that way?
Mira Dessy (24:17):
I also think one really important thing for
people to keep in mind is thatwe are so unused to taking care
of ourselves.
We're used to taking care ofeverybody else first, especially
if you're the one who does mostof the nurturing in your family
(24:39):
.
When it comes to, you know,child responsibilities, if you
have kids, or foodresponsibilities, or all the
different things that have tohappen to make a household and a
life run.
If you're the one who's incharge of most of it for other
people, you learn to take careof everybody else first and
yourself last.
So mindfulness is recognizingwhen you need a little love and
(25:02):
a little attention as well.
And then the other thing thatwe need to keep in mind about
how we accomplish all of this.
Unfortunately, our society isvery much this sort of drill
sergeant, get her done, pullyourself up by your moose drops
like rah, rah, rah.
(25:22):
It's really harsh.
And instead we need to go ohman, like this is a little
tougher than I thought, or Ineed a little more care and
attention here, and if we have ablip which is going to happen,
it does instead of beatingourselves up going, oh I'm such
a failure, I have no willpower,I'm so weak Like please don't
(25:46):
use those words to yourself,because your mind and your body
and your spirit, they hear whatyou say and what you think, and
so instead we go.
Oh, maybe that wasn't the bestchoice.
So now, how am I going to makesure that I am taking care of
myself so that that doesn'thappen again?
(26:07):
What can I do to be mindful ofthe potential for this situation
to happen again?
Christina Smith (26:14):
I like that, like almost like learning a
lesson from it.
Like, where was it that I brokedown and decided that 12
cupcakes for breakfast was agood idea, right?
And so tracing that back sothat we can learn from it, right
?
I mean, that's really what itis.
And when I ate those 12cupcakes, how did I feel?
Oh, I felt like I wanted tocrash all day.
(26:36):
And so when we keep thatmindfulness in our head at least
for me, when I have a badexperience with food because
I've eaten too much or I'veeaten the wrong things, I always
go something to remember nexttime, christina, when we're
making that same choice.
Mira Dessy (26:55):
I call that three cookie syndrome.
It's something that, when I'mworking with clients, we talk
about.
Let's say, for example, theserving size on a package of
cookies is two cookies and youeat three cookies.
And immediately you feel so badthat you ate three cookies.
You just finished the rest ofthe sleeve of thin mints.
I might as well Get thisdefeatist attitude.
(27:19):
And then we go okay, so I hadthree cookies, wasn't the choice
I wanted to make?
So I'm going to accept that Idid that and I'm going to think
about was I hungry for somethingelse?
Did I not have enough that Ineeded that little extra?
(27:40):
Like, what is it that caused meto do that?
And I'm also not saying that wehave to go strictly by serving
sizes, because, like, I couldchop for a whole hour on that
topic alone, but just be awareof the fact that we have this
sort of weird default thathappens when we overconsume.
Something like we have acupcake and then we go, oh, that
(28:01):
was really good, I'm gonna haveanother cupcake.
And then all of a sudden, nextthing you know, you're sitting
there with crumbs all around youand you've eaten 12 cupcakes
and you're like oh, like now Idon't feel good.
How do we stop ourselves fromdevolving into that sort of
mindless downward spiral?
(28:21):
And the way you do that is bypaying attention and by being
kind to ourselves.
Christina Smith (28:27):
I've been watching this Netflix
documentary on centurions, onpeople who are hundred.
Right yeah, the blue line yeah,yeah, and part of that is about
food.
But it's like the one cultureand I forget you have to watch
the documentary if you want toknow but there was one culture
(28:48):
that they were studying wherethey only eat to their 80% full.
Mira Dessy (28:53):
That's their cultural.
They're right there.
What's happening is they're 80%full.
Christina Smith (28:59):
Yeah, which I think is so different than how
we I mean the serving sizes thatwe have here in the US are kind
of insane.
The foods that they give us andthe really, really dense foods,
like if you go out to eat andthey're just like that's got to
feed three people, how is thatmy serving size?
But I know that in this culturewe are used to eating until we
(29:23):
are like stuffed, and that'snever really felt good to me.
My husband doesn't ever hitthat point.
I don't know.
I don't know if what's going onwith his stomach, but he's got
like an extra stomach somewherebecause he never and he eats a
huge amount of food.
But his mindfulness is that hefasts so that he can eat in a
(29:44):
short period of time and he caneat almost as much as he wants
to eat, because he's eating allhis calories within a few hours.
And that is the way that,mindfully, he's come to the
conclusion that that actuallymakes him feel really good.
It gives him energy during theday.
He gets a feeling of satiationor of being satiated, so that he
(30:07):
doesn't do all the craving allthe time.
And he really I mean during theday, when he's not, when he's
working he doesn't even thinkabout food, which is pretty
amazing for him.
So I guess what I'm getting tothe point of like this is all
individualized and that's whycoming back to the mindfulness
is so important, like whatactually feels good in my body.
I've tried his fasting because Iwould be a big fan of being
(30:31):
able to eat just once a day andlike getting all my calories in,
but my body is built more likea small rodent, where it really
wants me to eat like 10 times aday, just like three bites, and
that's painful for me sometimes,but and I, because of that,
I've been able to like okay.
(30:53):
Well, here's little snacks, andin my life I never really had
snacks.
I had snacks for meals maybe,but like I didn't have snacks in
addition to my meals and thatactually helps me stay
energetically good all day andnice and clear, because my, I
guess my metabolism is justconstantly working and that that
(31:13):
feels good to me, whereas it'snot going to feel good for my
husband, because if he startseating, he'll have the 12
cupcakes and the cookies and theyou know all the things he eats
good food too, but he, you know, whatever is available, he'll
shove it in his mouth, and so Ireally think and that's why I
brought you on here was thateating well and being mindful
(31:36):
about our food is a way that wereally nourish and nurture
ourselves, right?
So this is like our.
I talk about archetypes a lot,so this is a bit like our mother
archetype and, like you said,we rarely mother ourselves.
Mira Dessy (31:52):
And this is.
Christina Smith (31:53):
You said it in different words, but I'm going
to say that we rarely motherourselves.
We take care of everyone else.
First is what you were saying,and then you know it's almost
like we have to deserve takingcare of ourselves.
Like, have I earned taking careof myself instead of going?
I don't need a special occasionto make myself a lamb chop or
(32:14):
whatever it is that I want.
I can do it anytime.
And I know that when I'mactually cooking from real
ingredients, now that I'velearned, there's something
really beautiful about it.
There's something reallywonderful about smelling the
foods as they're cooking andlike a lot of love that goes
(32:34):
into it and you know tasting andstuff.
It's become a more beautifulexperience.
So even if your experience isin the kitchen haven't been
great thus far, that can shiftwe just for me it took a lot of
compassion and patience of going.
Okay, christina, I know you'rereally hungry now because I used
(32:55):
to wait until I was likestarving and my brain was
starving.
So now I noticed it because I'mmore mindful, I noticed it
ahead of time why I'm going tobe hungry in like an hour.
I really should stop what I'mdoing and go take care of that,
because if I don't, I know thatthe rest of my day emotionally,
mentally, gets all fuzzy.
(33:16):
If I get to that like I'mstarving right now kind of phase
.
It's like that Snickerscommercial, the diva and the
benzine.
Mira Dessy (33:24):
They're like I think you need a snack, you're hangry
, yeah right, and I also want toencourage people to remember
that the more we take care ofourselves, the more energy,
resilience, flexibility,foundation we have to take care
(33:47):
of others.
Yeah.
Not about being selfish.
It's about being practical,because if you burn yourself out
and exhaust yourself becauseyou're doing for everybody else
and so all that's left is to gooh yeah, there's popcorn for
dinner Like that's not going tobe, that's not going to be a
great choice, somewhere down theline it's going to catch up
with you.
Christina Smith (34:07):
Yeah, it sure does.
Well, thank you so much forsharing with us today.
I know that you have a freegift for us.
You want to tell us about that.
Mira Dessy (34:16):
I do, I'm so excited .
So, as the ingredient guru, oneof the things that I believe is
we should be able to nurtureourselves under any circumstance
, including during emergencysituations.
So I have a program called thePreparedness Pantry Masterclass,
where I teach people how tobuild a preparedness pantry, how
(34:37):
to build it with foods thattheir family will actually eat
Please don't buy this to saythat.
And so what I've done is thefirst module of that class is
called 10 Tips for EmergencyPreparedness, and this is just
general emergency preparednessthings that you need to know to
be prepared.
I have opened that module upfor free to everybody who's
(35:01):
listening to this, and so I willsend you the link.
Yes, and you're welcome to comeand take that class and learn
more about the things you needto know.
Christina Smith (35:11):
What a great way to take care of yourself is
to feel prepared for whenemergencies are happening, and I
love the idea of you putting awhole course together on how you
can still nourish yourself.
Well, because you're right,like when I look at the the
prepareer stuff, it's usuallylike boxed, canned, high
(35:33):
ingredient type of stuff thatyou can't read all the
ingredients, or you know, we goback to my childhood of cooking
out of boxes that have theinstructions on them.
Mira Dessy (35:44):
You offer want to be in a situation where, if you're
being warned that there's anemergency coming there's a
blizzard, there's a flood,there's a hurricane, whatever
the last thing you really wantto do if you can at all help, it
is get online at the grocerystore with everybody else who's
filled their shopping carts upwith crappy food.
You just don't want to be inthat chaotic mind Think you want
(36:06):
to be home going.
Oh, I've got what I need.
I'm good.
Christina Smith (36:11):
Beautiful, yeah , beautiful.
What a great way of taking careof yourself.
Well, mira, thank you so muchfor being here with us today.
I really appreciate you.
I know that this is goinghopefully to hit home for some
people.
So if you need more informationon how we nourish and nurture
ourselves through food and selflove, mira has some links below.
(36:34):
I want you to go visit them.
Go shout out at her socialmedia and she's got all kinds of
great tips that can come to youabout how we really take care
of ourselves through food, howwe have this self love through
food.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, christina.
It was lovely to talk with you,you too.
(36:54):
Thank you, listeners, fortuning in.
We'll see you next week.
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