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Rediscover your creativity and reignite your passions in midlife. On this week's Inviting Shift Show, we're joined by three remarkable women—Cassandra, Sharon, and Kelly—who share their inspiring stories of embracing new creative pursuits and self-care practices. Cassandra, a certified coaching healer, sheds light on how she helps spiritual entrepreneurs conquer their fears and find clarity. Sharon, an artist and creativity coach, passionately discusses the importance of granting oneself permission to explore artistic passions, particularly for those who were discouraged during their youth. Meanwhile, Kelly, a city planner with a knack for architecture, underscores the necessity of engaging in fulfilling activities outside of one's professional life.
OUR GUESTS:
Sharon J. Burton is an artist, art curator, poet, teaching artist, yoga nidra guide, certified creativity coach and founder of Spark Your Creative based in the Washington, DC area. Since 2016, she has focused on helping people in "creative recovery"...those looking to revive or jump-start their creativity through group and individual coaching, workshops, her blog and as the host of Spark Your Creative Podcast which features artists and other creatives who are using their unique talents to create more mindful communities and a safer world.Get her Affirmations for Creative Breakthroughs for free through this link.
Connect with Sharon: Instagram | Facebook | Website
Kelly Wong has dedicated 24 years to preserving cultural heritage sites worldwide. She is currently a Principal Planner at the City & County of San Francisco, leading a team that enforces the Planning Code. Her career includes roles at the Getty Conservation Institute, The Presidio Trust, and Architectural Resources Group. Kelly holds an architecture degree from UC Berkeley and a master’s in historic preservation from the University of Pennsylvania. Outside of work, Kelly enjoys traveling, trying new foods, kayaking, dancing, yoga, and recently began learning medieval illumination and calligraphy.
Cassandra Rosa is a certified coach & healer and intuitive business coach. Her mission is to help spiritual entrepreneurs go deep within on their journey to creating an impactful and fulfilling life & business. She is an award-winning author of the book Now What: Create the Clarity to Achieve Your Dreams designed to help people navigate life’s “Now What” moments. She is also a co-host of The Limitless Human Podcast created to help people achieve their limitless potential while honouring the human experience. Get the confident entrepreneur journal with 22 journal prompts to help you release self-doubt and finally start your business right here.
Connect with Cassandra: Instagram | Website
CONNECT with Inviting Shift & Christina on Social:
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FREE GIFT: The Confidence Tool Kit is here to help you walk into the second half like a queen (because you are one already). Get it here.
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things and we're not ready forthat rocking chair yet, at 45 or
50 or even 60 necessarily?
(00:21):
So we want to know what else wecan be doing and how do we take
care of ourselves in midlife,and so those are some of the
topics that we're going to talkabout today.
I'm your host, christina Smith,and I am going to have each of
our beautiful, amazing womenintroduce themselves.
I am already loving theconversation that we were having
, so I'm very excited tointroduce Cassandra.
(00:43):
Cassandra, can you tell us alittle bit about you?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yes, thank you for
having me.
I'm excited to chat with youall today and I am from Toronto,
canada, and I am a certifiedcoaching healer and intuitive
business coach and what reallylights me up is just to help
ignite spiritual entrepreneursto find clarity and conquer
their fears and create a massiveripple effect in the world.
(01:08):
I'm also an award-winningauthor and speaker, and yeah,
it's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Thanks, cassandra.
Lovely, I'm so excited to talkabout these topics with you
today, sharon, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, thank you, and
thank you for inviting me to be
a part of this conversation.
I'm really excited to get intowhat we're going to be
discussing today.
I'm Sharon Burton.
I am an artist, a teacher,artist, a poet, now a
best-selling author and acertified creativity coach.
(01:46):
I work with people at Midlifewho want to reclaim, rediscover
or discover their creativepassions and gifts and help
build the confidence to show upcreatively in the world.
So again, thank you forinviting me.
I'm looking forward to thediscussion.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, Sharon's just
published a book too.
I will talk more about that ina little bit.
But things we can do in midlifeis amazing.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yes, it is Kelly.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
how about you?
Speaker 4 (02:20):
So I'm Kelly.
I am here in Berkeley,california, in the San Francisco
Bay Area, and my life startedas a trained architect and then
working on historic buildingsand doing rehabilitations, and
now I'm, more recently, a cityplanner for the city and county
of San Francisco.
And, yeah, I'm just so excitedto be here to have a
(02:43):
conversation with all of you.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Lovely.
Thank you, Kelly, Thank you allfor introducing yourselves.
So let's start with newpassions and hobbies.
Because midlife is the timewhere I started painting and I
think that's one of the reasonsI connected with Sharon was I
started getting really creativeand I had never been an artist
(03:09):
before.
I had really terrible artteachers.
But I decided one day I wantedto paint and I just I bought the
canvas and the paints.
I stared at it for a whole yearand it was like, oh my God,
what am I going to do?
And I was constantly lookingfor something that would feel
(03:30):
good to do In my spare time.
It didn't have to be amoneymaker, although I changed
my life also and got my ownbusiness.
But, Sharon, what happens whenwomen come to you, when they're
like I don't?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
know what.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'm passionate or
creative about.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Well, it's really a
process of helping people
understand and acknowledge that.
The thought process that I havefound is that people need a
sense of permission.
You know, if you came up when Idid, you graduated from high
(04:18):
school, let's say in the 80s,maybe the late 70s, but
definitely in the 80s.
You know, a lot of us were notencouraged to be creative.
You know, that was consideredfrivolous, a waste of time.
It wasn't something you couldmake money at, you know, and at
(04:39):
that time everything you knowwas about, you know, everything
you know was about, you know,making money, you know.
So a lot of us were channeled.
You know, I wanted to go to artschool but I was gently sat
down and told that, as much asyou know, there was an
acknowledgement of my talent,because I love drawing and
(05:00):
painting and all that kind ofstuff, but it was more or less,
like you know, the message waslike, if we're going to pay for
this, you know you probably needto look at something else.
And a lot of us were channeledthat way.
You know, we went into business, we went into political science
, maybe psychology, healthcare,engineering, you know those
(05:26):
kinds of things, and we were alot of us were moved away from
more of the what some peoplewould consider soft, artistic
kinds of things, because youknow, and by well-meaning people
, you know they did not want tosee us go broke or, you know,
struggle with the stereotype ofwhat an artist or a musician you
(05:47):
know had to deal with.
And so I think what has happenedis that a lot of people have,
you know, a lot of the folksthat I've worked with, had kind
of in their mind have said, okay, I, that's frivolous, I don't
need, I can't give myselfpermission to do that.
I have to be, you know, out heremaking money and you know, by
(06:09):
golly I'm going to be in thecorporate world, government,
whatever, you know health care,and we did that.
But what's happening is now youhave folks that are dealing
with emptiness syndrome.
They are rediscovering theirown creative passions.
You know one thing about theyounger generation.
You know they are encouraged tobe their creative selves.
(06:31):
You know the messages aredifferent for this generation
that's coming up and I thinksome of them are their own
children, some of them areworking with these people.
And then, just you, social mediais really a lot more about
creativity and you know peopleare like, well, I want to really
get back to that and it can beintimidating, you know to.
(06:56):
You know, do I take a class andwill there be mostly younger
people.
Would you know, is it too latefor me to embark on something
creative?
And so you know, I think thebiggest thing is saying to
yourself yes, I give myselfpermission to unleash my
(07:17):
creative side at this point inmy life.
It's never too old, it's nevertoo late, unless you're trying
to do something that you know.
If you can't sing and dancelike Beyonce, nobody's saying
for you to do that.
But if you want to dance, ifyou want to sing, you know you
can do that.
You may not get a record deal,but it's about unleashing your
(07:41):
passion, you know.
That's the part that you know.
That's key.
It's not about you know whetheryou're going to be the
successful person.
It's about you know unleashingwho you are.
And so that's what I think isreally about is saying, yes, I
can be a creative person.
And not only that, once yougive yourself permission to do
(08:06):
so, is also claiming that youare that, claiming that you are
an artist, claiming that I am adancer.
I have a friend of mine.
I went to a dance recital.
She's in her 50s and it was meand another friend of mine that
went.
(08:26):
The thing is, she's beendancing since she was two or
three years old.
Her career was education,administration.
To see her as she just retired,to see her on the stage with
these other ladies that are inthe same age group, and how free
(08:47):
she looked, you know she was,just feel you could tell she and
she wasn't the best dancer, butthe freedom that I saw it was,
it was phenomenal.
That's what we're about.
It's about freeing that side ofourselves that's been denied
because of, you know, social orwhatever, messaging you know and
(09:11):
feeling comfortable about thatand then owning that.
And you know, christina, I hopethat you have owned or have come
to the place of owning that.
Yes, you are an artist and I'veseen some of your work so I can
definitely attest to that.
So you know, and what youchoose to do with that is on you
.
You don't even have to have itin an exhibition if you don't
(09:33):
want to.
That doesn't make you any lessor more of an artist.
So, understanding whateverlevel that you are, you know
it's fine.
It doesn't make you more orless.
I choose to exhibit my work.
Other people don't.
They do it because it bringsthem joy.
It's a form of self-care andthat's okay.
And understanding that you'reokay, whatever level you decide
(09:56):
that you want to be.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I love that.
I love that so much because somany good points in there where
it's like you know, our parentswere telling us, if it doesn't
make money, it's not a real job,right, like it's not a real
thing.
If my art doesn't bring memoney, then that's not a real
thing that you can do for me.
(10:21):
It was really allowing myselfpermission to screw it up.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
To like know that the
first painting I'm going to
make is not going to beMichelangelo or anything you
know like.
This is going to be a lot, alot of fun, though it's about
the journey and doing it not formoney but for actual joy, and
the other thing that came up forme was I was thinking back,
like when I was growing up inthe seventies and eighties.
It was pretty much if you can'tbe number one or be the 1% at
(10:57):
the top, that's the best at whatyou're doing then you shouldn't
do it and like that whole thingis like I have to be the best
artist or else it's notappropriate for me to do.
And that's where we need to giveourselves permission, because,
I mean, none of the greatestartists were just magically I
mean.
Maybe they were, but I've seenlike the versions and versions
(11:20):
and versions of the samepainting over and over and over
again, because they were tryingto get better, they were trying
to perfect it, and that's thejourney, the practice.
That's really the importantpart, right, and the fun part
really, because what happenedfor me was a friend of mine came
up and was like Christina, youdon't have to hang this dang
(11:40):
thing on the wall.
All you got to do is put thedang colors on the canvas and
swish them around.
That's painting there.
You're a painter, so itreminded me very much of your
energy around that.
And, kelly, I know that youjust picked up a new hobby and
you're like unloading, and howdoes that feel to have like a
(12:03):
new thing that you're reallyexcited about?
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Well, yeah, actually
it.
It was when you know Sharon wassharing uh that our parents
pushed us into doingnon-creative, um sort of like uh
disciplines and to study those.
I was just having aconversation with my niece
yesterday about how I wanted tostudy art practice and my
(12:27):
parents said, no way, how areyou going to support yourself?
And so I decided to shift andstudy architecture, and so that
then became a profession.
That then I can you know, Imean little did I know it's not
like the most lucrativeprofession either, so you work
really hard but it's, you know,peripherally.
(12:49):
You know where you can dodrawings, and I was the last you
know sort of like class ofstudents that did everything by
hand versus like everything onthe computer, which I loved.
And I think because of thatlove and that passion for
drawing and, you know, beingcreative, it really helped me
stay focused in that profession.
But, yes, and so now I'mthinking like, hey, nearing the
(13:12):
end of my career, because I'vehad a really like good career
and just like really exciting,you know ones where I like
worked on really interestingprojects.
But what I'm really feelingthat I'm missing is that
creativity part.
And as I'm nearing that end oflike, well, I feel like I've
already, you know, done mywhatever, I've had the climax of
(13:33):
my, you know, of my umprofession, and what I'm really
craving is like the artisticside again and it's coming full
circle.
And so when I think about, like, what I want to do, like in
retirement and you know, maybethis is the, the strange
perspective of like, why shouldI even wait until I'm retired to
to do something creative?
(13:55):
But just like that full circleof like, wow, that's what I
really, really loved in thebeginning and, look, I'm still
coming back.
I really want that to be partof my life, because for so long
I kept it out of my life becauseI was so focused on having a
career making money so that Icould survive, so, okay.
(14:15):
So about the, I guess, the newart form, this is really just
weird and esoteric, but I'mreally interested recently in
art, um, medieval, um,manuscript, illumination artwork
, and so, um, I had, you know,um, done some calligraphy, just
(14:38):
like on my own in high school.
But, um, I'm just recently likelooking into, um, like learning
how to do, um, some of thatartwork and, you know, it's just
like if you see medievalmanuscripts, you see, you know,
like there's big letters andthen there's like a bunch of
clear fee Um and it's just about.
For me, it's just about likeusing my hands instead of being
(14:58):
in front of a computer all day.
And then there's like painting,there's colors and and you know
, and, and I will say, when Ifirst started I was like, oh my
gosh, where do I start?
I don't even know where to go,and it was really scary until I
was just like I just have to, Ihad to start somewhere.
And then I just boughtsomething and then I tried it
(15:19):
and I was like this is reallyfun, but to really, I think,
move past it, I felt like I hadto talk to a bunch of people to
be like, what did you do, what?
What materials should I buy?
And now what I'm really lookingfor is like a community of
people who do the same things,so that I am hoping that I can
(15:41):
meet with them in person or doclasses with them or just like
be in a space to be, you know,with that energy of like people
who love doing the same things.
So that's where I am.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
So long story, from
like what I wanted to do
originally to where I am todayexploring this new art form,
yeah, I love that so muchbecause it really comes back to
like what I tell women whenthey're like I don't know what I
want to do.
I never, you know, I've beenraising kids and working full
(16:14):
time and doing all of the thingsI haven't had time to think
about what it is I actually ampassionate about or want to do.
And so one of the things likelook back to your childhood.
What did you like to do then?
What would you have?
What creative job would you havehad if your parents were like
you have to have a creative job,which just trying to picture my
(16:36):
mom say something like that isa little funny to me, but really
that's where we can start iswhat did we always want to do?
And painting was something Iwanted to do when I was younger,
but one, we didn't have themoney for supplies and two, I
just didn't have great artteachers.
So I was pretty sure I wouldjust be a failure and so never
(16:58):
tried.
But yeah, going back, cassandra, what about you?
What's your creativity?
What do you dig into and getpassionate about?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
No, I, I love this
discussion and I really love the
whole thing of giving yourselfpermission to be able to tap
into those creative endeavors.
I have such an appreciation forart and for music but I have to
admit I'm that person thatcan't draw like a stick person.
You know what I mean.
I know my strengths.
(17:27):
I'm an ideas person.
So in my business it's beensuch a creative outlet of
creating programs and socialmedia.
I love that you're talkingabout sharing about all the
social media aspects of it andexpressing my creative
expression that way.
But with what I do of helpingpeople find clarity of what they
want to do, whether it's fortheir business or their path, I
(17:49):
always love to say that, like,creation loves joy, right and
clarity loves joy and fun.
And I think whether you havelike a midlife crisis and I feel
like now a lot of people in myage demographic have like the
quarter life crisis of what am Igoing to do with my life?
I finished school Maybe it'snot what I wanted to do, Maybe I
(18:10):
was kind of going to school tohave my parents and I want to
create this new and fresh start.
I feel like there's thisinteresting overlap between like
the two generations, if youwill, with that kind of like now
, what moment experience.
And I feel like we try andapproach these life decisions
from a very logical perspectiveand I always love to say, like,
(18:31):
just incorporate more of the funthings, like that childlike
wonder, like that curiosity, tokind of open yourself up to all
of the clarity that's supposedto come when you are doing
things, not figuring it out, butjust being in the energy of joy
.
So for myself, you know, interms of hobbies and stuff I've
(18:52):
really gotten into, like fitnessand working out as a form of
expression, just to build moreof this like mind body
connection for myself, and it'sjust been such a cool hobby of
trying different things likeyoga and weight lifting and
doing different types ofworkouts, just to kind of build
that mind body connection for me.
And I find, since I've made apractice of it and started
(19:16):
having fun with it and notlooking at things from such a
logical perspective, it's justopened me up to so many creative
ideas, whether to do for mybusiness or just for fun and
bringing more joy into my life.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
So yeah, I love that
and I love that, like younger
generations, their joy is moreimportant than it was for like
Gen X, let's say, because, likethey don't have boomer parents,
so that we're like, oh no,prepare for the depression is,
you know, you never know what'sgoing to happen, and so you got
(19:53):
to have a paycheck.
And that was a big thing for mymom was you need to have a
paycheck?
So 10 years ago, when I quit myjob to be a full-time coach,
you know she was sending meemployment ads for a good five
years Cause it just rocked herworld that I would not be
getting a paycheck every weekand that there's no benefits and
you know all of that stuff Likeshe just couldn't.
(20:16):
Even to this day she doesn'teven talk about it, cause I
think it just freaks her out,like the whole idea of not
having a paycheck.
And and it was really, you know, brave of me to like change my
world to get there, especiallywhen, like 20 years ago, I
didn't even know what a lifecoach was, hadn't gone to
therapy, so I didn't even likethere's jobs today that just
(20:39):
weren't jobs back then, likebeing an influencer or just
creating on social media.
It's not my medium, my favoritemedium, and I am like there
there is so much creativity andyou know this because we can get
locked for hours watching otherpeople's creativity right.
(20:59):
But what I love that you alsopicked up is that you were
saying about self-care, and Ithink that this creativity, it
is self-care, right, it isexploring more of who we are,
whether that's creativity orworking out.
It is exploring more of who weare, whether that's creativity
or working out.
I've been in a reallychallenging transition for the
last few months and I got totell you, challenging
(21:21):
transitions are really greatbecause they always make me go
back to my own tools, which forme it's like journaling, so that
I'm not spewing toxicity outinto the world.
I can put it down in my journaland then I can work it out Like
where's my empowered self?
I hear the really judgmentalinner child right now, but where
is that empowered self ofmyself?
And so let's talk a little bitabout self-care and what that
(21:46):
moves onto.
I know when I used to sayself-care, people were like I
did get a mani, pati, I stilldon't feel good and I'm like,
while physical self-care islovely, I mean, I think what we
forget about is the internalself-care which is like that
mental, emotional, all of thatstuff.
So what does that self-carelook like for y'all?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Something that I've
learned about self-care is it's
much more than getting yournails done Like that's important
, yes, but it's reallynourishing your mind, body and
soul so that your cup is anoverflow and then it just spills
over to other people in ourlife.
I think, as women, we can putourselves on the backseat and
(22:32):
find the more that it's notselfish to focus on what is
nourishing us in our mind, bodyand soul.
So I find, once you take allthose pieces into consideration,
that's where this true naturalalignment happens and you can
show up in a whole differentversion of yourself.
And I think it's not one sizefits all Like self-care to me
(22:55):
could be completely differentfrom each and every one of us.
So I think it's reallyuncovering what is it that makes
you feel most nourished andmost like in this overflow state
and all those aspects andmaking it small and making it
fun and making it easeful.
It's not something you checkoff a bucket list, like you know
, your checklist of the week.
(23:16):
It's just bringing that intoyour life in a natural and
simple way.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I love that.
You say it's likeindividualized, which is really
lovely because you know I getclients that are like, well,
just give me a morning routine.
Well, my morning routine is notgoing to look like your morning
routine.
I have a friend who runs 10miles a day.
I am not that person.
She couldn't give me hermorning routine because I would
(23:43):
be like, good luck on that, I'llfail every day.
But it's really about you know.
What you were saying is likeit's about how treating
ourselves right, it's not.
I've always looked at I used tolook at it like it was like a
to-do list.
Oh, here we go.
I have to do all these dangthings for myself again.
Check, check, check.
And instead it's like I get togo outside and meditate in
(24:05):
nature.
I get to spend half an hourjournaling, if that's what I
want in the morning.
And I get really excited aboutthat now because I can clear
everything out before I start myday and you know I can easily
forget about that in good timesbut I got to tell you.
If you're in transition like Iam, might just try going back to
(24:26):
your old tools.
How about Sharon?
What's your self-care look likethese days?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
You know it's
interesting, I was just thinking
about that.
You know I do have just morningrituals that I do, which helps
to ground my, which includesprayer, meditation and that sort
of thing in the morning.
Of course I like physicalactivity.
(24:56):
I am not a gym rat when I wasmuch younger I was but I rather
do walking or hiking in nature,nature.
You know the whole gym thingdoesn't do.
You know, that kind ofenvironment doesn't work for me
(25:17):
anymore and it hasn't for quitesome time.
So my ideal of working out isusually walking in nature or
going on a hike and just beingoutdoors and the chlorophyll and
just the sky and all of thatjust really, just really brings
(25:38):
me a lot of peace.
Um, and you know, again, itkind of reminds me of childhood.
I grew up in upstate new york,um way up, not the perkipsi and
albany, upstate I mean upstate,like what we would say upstate,
that's not upstate, that'sdownstate.
So Albany, upstate, I meanupstate, like what we would say
upstate, that's not upstate,that's downstate.
So I grew up near Syracuse, soI was one of them people and so
(26:01):
you know I grew up in a fairlyrural area where you know you
had land and as a kid I would,you know, walk across our land
to the trussle the old traintrussle and you know there was
ponds and trees and you knowwild blackberries and you know
apples and stuff.
So that was what I connect tothe most is nature.
(26:26):
The other thing that I do, I'ma fan of Julia Cameron's work.
She's the author of theArtist's Way and that is a
phenomenal book about reclaimingyour creativity, by the way,
(26:46):
and I think many of us have usedthat book somewhere along the
way in our own journey, and Ilove the two things she mentions
, the two tools for creativity,which actually are self-care
habits if you adopt them, andone is the artist date and one
is the morning pages, andmorning pages is really the
journaling practice, thelonghand not typing on the
(27:08):
computer, on the phone, longhandin the journal, you know, sort
of dumping everything out andclearing your mind, and it's
helpful for creativity but it'shelpful to start the day on the
right track.
So I fell off on my morningpages practice, but I'm getting
(27:28):
back on.
But the other piece that I liketoo is what she calls the
artist date, and that is a soloexcursion to help you become
inspired for creativity and itcan look like really anything
that you want it to look like.
And so, a matter of fact, Ispent the whole day on Sunday,
(27:53):
the whole entire day, at a localbeach town, and I started off
early, brought a book, read thebook, sat by the water, then
walked around.
There was a local gallery Itook in that ended up buying
some art I didn't expect to buy,but anyway, what else did we do
(28:16):
?
Well, what I do I say we, it'sme I took myself on the date and
, you know, tried out arestaurant that I've never tried
before.
Out that way Was near themarina, and I mean just walking
and having the sun hit my skin,and in this area we've been
(28:38):
having 90 degree, 100 degreeweather, and for it to be in the
late 80s just felt good for us.
And you know, when I came back,I just felt so refreshed, so
refreshed, you know, I, it wasjust such a wonderful day to
(28:59):
treat me to a nice lunch, someart, to a day, you know, and
just clearing my head and beingnear seawater.
Um, you know, and that's a formof self-care, you know, it's,
it's, it's doesn't have to beoming's, it doesn't have to be
only, it doesn't have to be yoga.
It doesn't have to be, you know, those things that we're.
You know that now, social mediaand everybody and their mom is
(29:21):
telling you to do which are goodthings, by the way, but it can
be something as simple as that.
That's about a 45 minute drivefor me, you know, I didn't have
to pay for parking.
The only thing I paid for wasthe art which I chose to do that
, and lunch, you know.
So it doesn't have to be.
Oh, you know, secluded retreats.
(29:43):
You know spending thousands ofand I think a lot of people have
gotten that, you know, becausethe industry is really big, you
know, but it doesn't have to bebecause the industry is really
big, you know, but it doesn'thave to be unattainable.
You know, these things can beattainable without having to
(30:05):
spend thousands of dollars tosay that you are self-caring.
You know you can do that withjust a day's drive.
You can do that in yourneighborhood, at your local park
, your local park.
You can even do a spa day, youknow, at home, where you don't
even have to leave and just, youknow, turn off your electronics
and just be, you know.
So those are the kinds ofthings that really juice me as
(30:26):
far as self-care.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, I spent just a
few weeks ago.
I went away on a weekend bymyself, because I now live with
a lot more people than I used tolive with, and so away helped
me quiet everything, so I couldactually hear myself again.
That was amazing.
(30:58):
The one other thing that I lovethat you were talking about was
in the past, going to the gymwas your thing and now it's not.
And I guess I just want topoint out to people that it's
okay if our passions change.
That's not a bad thing.
I was painting a lot.
There's not a lot of spacewhere I am to paint now, so I
(31:20):
crochet now instead, and that'sthat's what I do.
That's how I get creative in asmall space.
But we're allowed to change ourpassions.
We don't have to stay.
If one day we decide that thesmell and the noise and the
tempo of the gym is not workingfor us, we can say what else can
I do?
Do I want to go to a yoga class?
(31:41):
Do I want to go out hikinginstead?
How is it that I can still getthe physical activity that I
know my body is craving and doit in a way that feels good?
We don't have to forceourselves to do the thing the
way other people do the thing.
I love that so much.
I just wanted to highlight thatpoint because I thought that
(32:01):
was really, really important.
Kelly, what are you doing forself-care these days?
Speaker 4 (32:08):
So, yeah, it's just
starting with the whole physical
aspect, no-transcript.
(32:40):
But I noticed just, you know,as you also, christina saying
like I'm an introvert, but atwork I have to be an extrovert
because of the nature of my joband I'm constantly talking to
the public and I have, you know,a team of people, and so when I
do self-care, it's about havingspace and time and time off.
(33:03):
And I think, because I'm such a, you know, like focus, doer, as
, like a warrior, where I'm justlike do, do, do, do you know,
have a really long to-do list,for me, the self-care is to take
time off and, in a way likethis to me, this self-care of
like doing the things that isnot related to my work, that's
(33:24):
like focused on, like gettingahead, getting a paycheck and,
you know, doing the things thatare meaningful, I think, in life
.
Uh, and then I was alsothinking about, you know, I
recently had a birthday and Iwas asked, you know, by my
family, like what do you want todo for your birthday?
And so I thought like gosh, youknow I want to be, you know I
(33:46):
want to do something fun.
So I decided, like I wanted todo go carts, you know, even
though I'm almost 50.
But I said, hey, this is goingto be great, and then also
accepting the fact that maybenot everyone is going to
appreciate it.
And so when we all showed upthis weekend, I had some nephews
(34:07):
and nieces.
They looked kind ofdisappointed, like why am I here
?
What am I doing?
But then after they all didtheir go-karts, they were so
like happy and excited andeveryone was so you know, they
just they couldn't stop talkingabout it and I was like that's
good and just kind of acceptingthat like I had a choice to do
something that I wanted to do,um, even if it's not something
(34:29):
that would be like aligned withlike how we normally did things
within our family.
So that was really I don't know.
For me it felt like I'm going totake care of myself and say I
want to do this, and that wasreally fun, working with other
(34:49):
people as well and doing a lotof like volunteer type of things
, where or even just you know,at work, of allowing other
people to do things you know, intheir own pace, in their own
(35:10):
time, and not wanting to justlike step in and do it because
I'm so used to doing everything,and that to me, is like some
self-care as well.
To be like you know what I haveto hold space for myself to not
like to not intervene in thatspace as well, because that's a
way to protect my own sort oflike space and time, um, so that
I'm not um like trying to dosomething that you know or force
(35:34):
something to happen quickerthan maybe it needs to happen.
So, in a way, just I don't knowlooking at like our choices in
life and like how we can giveourselves self-care by thinking
about all of the choices we have, like even in like daily things
.
To be like, oh, is thissomething that I need to get
worked up about?
(35:54):
Maybe not.
You know my husband and how hedoes dishes.
To be like, okay, well, this iswhat I'm, this is what it is,
and I am just going to focus onsomething else and in that way,
like for me, that's alsoself-care.
To be like, okay, I'm going tofocus on, like you know, know,
the next painting or other thingthat I want to work on, versus
(36:16):
something that I have no controlover.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
I just wanted to
piggyback off something that you
said, kelly.
Um, uh, that just sort ofpinged with me when you said
about time, something about timeand self-care, one of the
things that I found increasinglyimportant for me when I was
much younger.
I didn't do this I just becauseyou know you have the energy
(36:42):
and you know we're trying tocheck off the.
You know we're trying to besuper women and I want to be
known for this, and that means Igot to be out there.
And now I look at my calendarand I space out weekends where
there's nothing scheduled, soI'm not doing all the things
anymore.
You know, for example, augustis purposefully kind of laid
(37:09):
back, but I'm doing a onlinechallenge actually on my social
media about artist dates, so I'msort of challenging people to
do that, which means I'm doingthat, which means I'm getting my
self-care, and a lot of times Idid one on morning pages too,
and I laugh at people usuallywhen I do that.
It means that I need it, so Ijust want people to do it with
me.
But anyway, um, september isgoing to be very busy for me and
(37:34):
I was like wow, you know, thisis a month that I'm constantly,
you like on the go.
So, um, recently I had madesome decisions of some events I
wasn't going to go to andsomeone.
It's funny how you can do thatand then somebody challenges it
to you and learning to say nowhen there's a part of you
(37:57):
that's like, oh, you know, if Igo, this will be great for me,
blah, blah, blah.
But then I'm like okay, sharon,but look at your schedule.
You're going to be just comingback from over here.
You're going to have somethingthe week before.
That's going to be.
You know, you said that youweren't going to go to this and
it was an event honoring someonethat's part of an organization
(38:19):
I'm in and you know, I thinkshe's a lovely woman.
But I just was like I don'tthink I'm going to put any time.
I think that weekend I'm goingto just sort of chill, or you
know whatever.
And lo and behold, somebody cameup to me I mean, within days
I've made that decision and waslike oh, can you do a painting?
(38:40):
We want to honor her, and youknow, and I was shocked and I
was like a painting, or you knowone of your artworks, we think
it would be great for her.
And there's that ego side,that's like, yeah, okay, they
think I'm bad, so I am, I amgoing to have the painting and
I'm going to be up there, tired,is that you know what?
But out there and you know, andthen I said, no, get it done,
(39:03):
get done, get it framed, get itto the people, let them do it,
long as you're recognized for it, which you will.
Don't get caught up in trying todo all the things.
And my old self would have beenlike, oh, I know I'm going to
be tired, but I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.
And then what do we do?
We get up there, we're tired,and then things happen.
(39:26):
We get sick, we may get into acar accident, we may just have a
sense of resentment becauseyou're like I could be at home
watching the reality show that Ilove and binge on that.
But I'm here and I'm dressed upand I'm you know, I'm one people
that that that fight againstwearing grown folks clothes.
(39:48):
So you know heels and all that.
I mean COVID just really messedme up.
I tell you the whole thing.
So you know, I gotta wearmakeup and you know jewelry and
you know dress and you gottalook sharp, because this
organization is known for thewomen looking tight and it's
like I don't want to be here.
You're half tired by the timethey do this.
So you know it's like I don'twant to be here.
You're half tired by the timethey do this.
(40:08):
So you know it's honoring.
You know yourself, and eventhough there's a part of me I'm
an empath, I'm an introvert butI'm always like, oh, am I
letting folks down?
I should be.
No, it's about you.
It's about you.
It's about you.
And you know that you got acrazy month of events where
(40:29):
you're traveling at least twicethat month and doing all these
things.
You know, carve out some time.
You know that event is notreally about you.
You know, yeah, they asked you,it's honor, but in the end.
So learning to say no is key.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I love that because I
was going to bring up, as Carly
was speaking, I was going tobring up all about these blocks
that we have to getting to thecreativity, because it's all
fine and dandy to be like, oh,I'm going to explore new things,
I'm going to try new things.
It's all fine and dandy to belike, oh, I'm going to explore
new things, I'm going to try newthings, and then, like
Cassandra was saying earlier, itfalls off the list because
we're like, oh well, I reallyshould take Timmy to, you know,
(41:13):
baseball practice and I shouldreally do this and I should
really do that and I should sayyes to these people because they
asked me and it's an honor.
My ego's going, ooh, I'm prettycool, you know.
But there's also this piece,these pieces that we have to be
able and what I heard from Kellywas like letting go of control
(41:33):
is.
That has been one of the bestpieces of self-care I've ever
had was letting go of control,so that I am, I am open to and
have that space.
Like Kelly said, I let go of myhusband and the way he's doing
that and I'm just going to goover here and do my own thing,
and isn't that a better use ofher time is to, um, really look
(41:58):
at how you know what she reallywants, instead of, you know,
staring at the judgments andwhatnot that she might have.
And my husband does the samething.
I don't know.
Is it who taught these men howto wash dishes?
I don't know.
Cassandra, what about you?
What do you think that we haveto let go of in order to be able
to step into?
Even you know?
(42:19):
Looking at, maybe having ourown business, or looking at
having more creativity?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Yeah, no, I love that
question.
I find that when we talk aboutself-care and self-love, there
can be a big conversation ofwhat habits to add into your
life.
Oh, come and do this fiveminute meditation.
Oh, go, check out yoga,whatever.
It may be Right, but I think abig part of it is also looking
at putting on your awareness capand acknowledging what are the
(42:50):
things that aren't forms ofself-love for you as a being, as
Cassandra, as Sharon, as Kelly,as Christina, right?
Like what are things that areways that we're not being kind
to ourselves, not being kind toour body, right?
So maybe it's our stomach hurtswhenever we eat gluten, but we
continue to eat it and eat itand eat it.
(43:11):
Right?
That's the opposite ofself-love.
So maybe it's finding agluten-free alternative.
Maybe it's we are scrolling onsocial media or on our phones or
on the computer, watching showslate at night and we're not
getting the nourishing sleep.
So I think what has been reallyhelpful for me, too, is
acknowledging what are thethings that I'm doing in my life
(43:33):
that aren't serving me andaren't serving the way that I'm
showing up in my energy, in mymindset, and giving myself again
permission to be able torelease them Could even be
thought patterns.
Maybe it's we were talking alittle bit about people pleasing
right and like control.
Maybe we get into control modeand just it triggers anxiety
(43:55):
within us.
Maybe we're always saying yesinstead of saying no, even
though our gut's telling us notto.
So I think it's looking againat the holistic picture of our
mind, bodies and souls and justseeing, like what's serving us
and what is getting in the wayof us cultivating the self-love
that we want to create forourselves, because it's so
(44:16):
deeply connected toentrepreneurship and to our
careers as well.
The way that we are treatingourselves is the way that it's
going to influence the way thatwe show up in our day-to-day
lives and our families and ourbusinesses and our careers.
So it all starts with us and Iacknowledge like once I had this
change of perspective oflooking at the ways I wasn't
(44:38):
loving myself and making theshifts.
That only helped my business.
I wasn't having burnout anymorehelped my business.
I wasn't having burnout anymore.
I wasn't having that likemisalignment when I was doing
things because I feel like Ishould, where people were
telling me to do something andthen having that afterthought
turmoil of I wish I just trustedmy gut on that one.
You know, my experience of lifeand the way that I show up in
(45:01):
my relationships and in mybusiness is transformed when I
gave myself permission to do aninventory of the way that I was
showing up.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
It's very, very
profound.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
And I want to
piggyback on that about the
thought patterns, right, becausewe often have beliefs that are
getting in our way.
For me in business, my beliefwas, if I work twice as hard or
twice as long, I'll suddenly getthere in half as much time.
And so I worked these 70 hourweeks.
(45:35):
I would end up exhausted.
I wasn't showing up the waythat I wanted to.
I mean, people could tell, myclients could tell.
And when I decided that I was nolonger going to work over 40
hours a week, I started gettingmore clients.
I went down to 35.
I got more clients and I waslike how is this working?
What is going on?
(45:55):
And sure, it could be like thesnowball effect from all the
years before, but most of it wasbecause I was taking really
good care of myself.
And when we do that, otherpeople can see.
Just like Sharon was saying,like her friend isn't the best
dancer, but it was the joy onher face and the confidence that
(46:16):
she had and the passion she hadaround it that really lit her
up.
And if we aren't taking time todo those things, then of course
people don't want to work.
Who wants to work with a lifecoach that looks exhausted, all
the time Like, yes, I want to bejust like you exhausted.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
One of the other
things that we we needed to keep
in mind and Cassandra kind ofyou know, cause when people
start talking and stuff startshitting to keep in mind and
Cassandra kind of you know,because when people start
talking then stuff startshitting is looking at how do we
vibrate higher.
And I think, Cassandra, yoursuggestion of really taking a
look at, okay, what's notworking or what do we know is
(46:58):
not working, you know, and youkind of like went into my
neighborhood, okay, when youstarted talking about late night
television stuff, you know,because I need to do better with
that.
But one of the other thingsthat I've recently learned that
I needed to do is, if I valuemyself and I value who I am and
(47:19):
I want to vibrate higher toattract, as Christina said, new
clients or whatever ourrelationship is, taking a look
at our relationships too,Because who are those folks that
are around us?
You know, who is influencingwhat we do.
Now, of course, you know, yeah,you can say no sometimes, but
(47:41):
sometimes you're in a situationwhere the people around you are
not going to take no for ananswer and you have to end up
doing things, or you may be insome relationships where it's
not nurturing.
You know where you're extendingmore into that, whether it's a
friendship or romantic kind ofsituation or even a work
(48:01):
situation, and you're gettingdrained because you're not
getting anything back.
People are just takingadvantage of you or whatever.
And you know it's reallyfinding the courage in some
cases to say you know, this isnot working for me.
You know, I had a couple offriendships like that where I
(48:24):
just sort of woke up and justrealized every time I would go
out with one it was all abouther and her business and her
husband and you know, and it waslike okay, well, I'm writing a
book and blah, blah, blah.
Oh well, that's nice, but anyway, my husband, my this, my that
you know, and after a while thatgot old because I wasn't
(48:45):
getting a reciprocal feelingfrom our relationship.
I felt like I was a therapistand you know I'm not one to tell
somebody what to do with theirhusband.
I'm not married, I'm, you know,even though I could tell that
he was emotionally abusing her,you know.
But you don't want to be inthat space-between stage right
(49:06):
now.
But I've learned that keepingpeople around just to have
(49:34):
friends and people, you know itwas doing me more harm than good
.
But if I'm honoring who I am, Ineed to make sure that that's
reflected in the people I'mdealing with and the situations
I'm dealing with and how I'mtreating myself.
It's not just doing the rightthings for yourself but making
sure it's a 360 situation.
(49:56):
And that means, you know,re-evaluating the relationships
in your life that have maybe arebringing a toll to your
self-worth and being.
And it's not easy, especiallyif you're in a situation where
you're relying on somebody forfinancial stability or whatever.
But it's not impossible and itjust may just prompt you to do
(50:20):
more things to get yourself outof that space of being beholden
to someone that doesn't honoryou, in order for you to start
that business, to be creative.
You know all that.
I think it's very importantthat we look at those things.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Yeah, that's a whole
nother form of self-care is how
are our relationships feeding usor starving us?
Right Either way?
And what is which?
Which relationships are reallyaligned with what it is that we
want?
Um and that's where we um, Ireally work with clients to
figure out, like, what is itthat you actually want?
How do you want to feel whenyou get there?
(51:01):
And if that's what you say,like, if I say, uh, love, open
and boldness are my words, butthen I'm working till like nine
o'clock at night instead ofnurturing my relationships, my
love and my openness and doingmy work, then that's not really
aligned anymore.
(51:22):
Is it like?
So, aligning all the things?
Does this feel you know, marieKondo-ing our entire life?
Basically like, does thischoice feel good to me?
It doesn't mean that, like,everything I do is going to feel
good.
I still have to do dishessometimes, but I know that when
I'm done with the dishes, I'mgoing to feel good about them
being clean, right, and so thatthat is an alignment with my,
(51:45):
with my intentions.
So, really aligning everythingin our lives with what it is
that we say, that we want, andlooking at those relationships,
beliefs or blocks that arecoming up in the way and why
we're not doing that.
All right, women, so before wego, what I'd love each of you to
do is share one piece of wisdomand if there's anything that
(52:08):
you want to share about wherethey can find you or whatever
you have, share it with us.
Cassandra, you want to go first?
Speaker 2 (52:19):
It's a good question
to think about one piece of
wisdom meant to be shared.
I think that permission piecehas really been like the through
line of the conversations Giveyourself permission to cultivate
a deeper level of self-love andto have more fun, because
that's where the true claritylies, that's where your
(52:41):
confidence is developed and thenthat's when you can really
formulate the path of what'snext for you.
That would be my advice.
Beautiful, my wisdom.
And I think the best place toconnect with me is on Instagram,
at Cassandra Rosa a, or mywebsite, cassandra Rosacom.
You can.
There's a bunch of freebiesthere.
(53:03):
Um, all the beautiful ways towork with me.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
We'll have those
links below too, so people can
easily clickety-click.
Thanks, Cassandra Sharon.
Speaker 3 (53:16):
Well, cassandra took
mine.
No, I did everything thatCassandra said.
I think, in addition to that issort of, you know, piggybacking
off our last conversation,making sure that, as you look to
(53:38):
give yourself permission togrow and to discover and
rediscover and, you know, diveinto your passions and how you
want to see your life unfold,making sure that the people
around you is supportive of that, even if it's to get into.
Kelly mentioned a group thatdoes that kind of art, or a
(54:01):
group of artists or a group of,you know, hikers, whatever it is
that you're involved with.
Making sure that you're aroundpeople that can nurture and help
you grow.
These are solo things that wedo, as far as you know, making
sure our self-worth is intactand making sure that we're doing
what we need to to stay focusedand, you know, relaxed and, you
(54:26):
know, emotionally balanced.
But we also need people andsometimes it takes a while.
But cultivating a squad oflike-minded people is very
important and if you're able todo that and find ways to do that
, I encourage people to do thatand find ways to do that, I
(54:46):
encourage people to do that.
You can find me Also onInstagram At Spark your Creative
.
I am also on the world wide webAt sparkyourcreativecom.
I'm also on Facebook, but Ihang out mostly In Instagram at
the moment so, but on my websiteyou can find some great
(55:09):
resources.
Some of them are free, some ofthem all of them are under $5
and under Guides differentthings that you can utilize to
help you unleash your creativity, and also you can sign up for
the newsletter and also find outmore information about my book.
(55:30):
I just released this bookCreative Sparks 21 Affirmations
and Inspirations for Creativityat Midlife.
I'm so proud to say that I havea book, but you can find out
more information.
I'm going to be doing a lot ofevents around that book and
(55:51):
you're welcome to come and joinin all the fun.
Speaker 4 (56:04):
So I guess a takeaway
would be to be curious and to
be open to allowing I guess youknow different ideas come in,
leave and the ones that stick.
Maybe, just like you know, divea little deeper and see where
(56:25):
it takes you.
And also the same with likerelationships of like.
Does know, dive a little deeperand see where it takes you.
And also the same with likerelationships of like.
Does this relationship work?
Is it fun?
Is it something I really enjoy?
Finding community is what youknow Sharon was saying.
And, yeah, just giving yourselfpermission to even take that
time to explore.
(56:45):
And I'm not much of a, you know,I don't have my own website,
but, um, I'm on Facebook and Iguess there's Christina.
I have an ID account, but I'mnot such an avid poster, but I
do, um, like travel a bit and soI I do um post on Facebook.
Just, you know, when I dotravel and explore, like, my
(57:06):
biggest thing is about exploringthe world and to see different
places and how people live andjust being really humble about
how big the world is and we livehere, but you know there's just
like so much out there that wemay not even know about, and so
just being open to that is justreally exciting.
(57:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
Yeah, if anybody has
questions for you, kelly, they
can always email me and gothrough me for you as well.
Um, let's see, do I have a pieceof advice?
Um, I think I just want to goback to the allow yourself to
change.
Allow yourself to unfold a newversion of yourself every year,
(57:51):
every decade.
Whatever it is that you feellike you need to get rid of the
old skin, then let's, you know,shed it and go into something
new that really lights you upagain.
Um, because there's no sense injust staying in something just
to say I've been doing this for20 years but now I hate it.
Um, so just, uh, do what feelsjoyous and be okay with allowing
(58:13):
that to change.
Thank you All you beautiful,amazing women, thank you for
your wisdom, thank you for yourtime and energy.
Audience, I hope that you gotsomething out of all this.
I'm sure you must have takenaway something, if not 10 things
.
So, uh, we'll see you next week.