October 10, 2024 • 50 mins
Ever wondered how to confidently navigate the often-overwhelming world of menopause? Join us on this empowering episode of the Inviting Shift podcast as midlife coaches Maryam Solhjou, Melissa Rohlfs, and Dana Lawson break the silence surrounding this crucial life stage. Learn about the physical and emotional changes like hot flashes, weight gain, and depression, and discover tailored solutions to manage them effectively. We promise you'll walk away with practical advice on stress management, nutrition, exercise, and sleep, all designed to help you embrace midlife with confidence.
OUR GUESTS:
Maryam Solhjou supports mid-lifers to cultivate intention and wisdom in their relationships so they feel connected and nourished in life's second half.
Connect: Facebook | Instagram | Website
Melissa Rohlfs is a certified holistic health and life coach helping busy moms and teen girls find freedom from the struggle with food, so they can be at peace with food, their bodies and their lives. She is committed to helping teen girls and women cultivate a healthy body image & relationship with food. Her mission is to help others walk in health conscious food freedom.
Connect: Website | Facebook | Instagram
Dana Lawson is a Certified Health Coach and Menopause Expert. She spent 15 years in the health and wellness industry and understood the importance of maintaining optimal health. Dana's mission is to help all women and especially women of color, to understand what's happening to their hormones during the
menopause transition and why. Dana also helps these women create mindset shifts in order to develop a positive relationship with their bodies so that they can confidently embrace midlife and be the happiest, healthiest version of
themselves during the menopausal transition and beyond.
Connect: Website | Email | The 'Skinny' On Menopause | Free Menopause Success Call
THE HOST:
Connect with Christina Smith & Inviting Shift on Social: Instagram | Facebook
Free Gift: The Confidence Tool Kit is here to help you walk into the second half like a queen (because you are one already). Get it here.
Email me and tell me what you think: christina@christina-smith.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christina Smith (00:00):
Welcome back to the Inviting Shift podcast.
I am here with some reallybeautiful women that are going
to talk about health andmenopause, and this is something
that I don't think you knowmost of us didn't learn about.
Maybe we had some great, greatmoms and grandmoms that talked
to us about it, but a lot of usit was just kind of something
that women keep to themselves,and so this is to talk about,
(00:25):
like, what is it that we can doand what is it that's changing
and in our midlife that isdifferent.
You know, what kinds of thingsdo we have to do differently?
That may be the same old, sameold health stuff isn't working
for us.
So I'm your host, ChristinaSmith.
I'm a midlife coach.
I want women all over the worldto be really confident so that
(00:46):
their second half can be themore confident half of their
life, and I'm going to introducesome of our guests.
Miriam is one of my favoritepeople.
We connect every week foraccountability and I love that
about us.
Miriam, can you tell us alittle bit more about what it is
that you do?
And here you are, Thanks.
Maryam Solhjou (01:05):
Christina for having me on.
Yeah, I'm Maryam Solhjou.
I am a midlife coach and I helpmidlifers cultivate more
intention and wisdom in theirrelationships, the relationships
they have with themselves, thepeople in their lives.
So the second half of theirlife they feel nurtured in those
relationships.
Christina Smith (01:25):
Beautiful.
Thank you, Miriam and Melissa,tell us a little bit about you.
You're pretty new to me, butI'm really excited to get to
know you and have thisconversation.
Melissa Rohlfs (01:34):
Well, thank you for having me in for the
conversation.
I'm excited to be here.
My name is Melissa Rohlfs.
I'm a holistic health and lifecoach and I help women and teen
girls cultivate a healthyrelationship with food and a
positive body image.
So hormones, menopause allplays a part in that, for sure.
Christina Smith (01:51):
Sure, absolutely, and as we're getting
to menopause, sometimes we havebodies that we didn't have
before.
We're getting used to them allover again, and so what a
perfect place for you to havethat conversation.
And Dana I have had Dana on theInviting Shift podcast before
and she's been on the summit andwe just love her for all things
(02:12):
health and menopause.
Dana Lawson (02:15):
Thank you and thanks for having me, and, yes,
we have had a little bit of alove affair for the past year or
so, right?
But I'm Dana Lawson, I'm acertified health coach and
menopause coach, and so I helpwomen to understand what's
happening to their bodies asthey're going through this
(02:35):
process and help them to findsolutions that will align with
them, and I use four pillars ofstress management sleep, getting
good sleep, nutrition andexercise, as well as other
holistic means to really dial inwhat their body needs at this
(02:56):
time so they can really be happy.
Christina Smith (02:59):
I love that, because every woman's body is
different.
I have clients who, like,they're through menopause and
they're like, yeah, I didn'teven know what was happening, it
was just done and it was like,whew, blessings to you.
Cause that has not been myexperience whatsoever and I just
want to.
I, just before we start talking, I just want to let everybody
know none of us are medicaldoctors, so what we're going to
(03:24):
be talking about today is, fromour experiences, our clients'
experiences, this you shouldstill go see a medical
professional that you are.
You know that you trust in umto get the right solutions for
you or like right Um, but theseare going to be some ways in
which we have helped ourselvesor helped clients, or even, you
(03:49):
know, got from Auntie Maisiethat she told us what we might
try.
You know, but this is notmedical advice.
I just want to clarify thatbefore we go on.
We're just a bunch of midlifewomen having a conversation
about what it's like to gothrough life and so, with that,
what's menopause like for y'all?
I'm curious Anybody can jump inhere because I got to tell you
(04:13):
it's been a roller coaster forme and I'm not sure if it's like
all the transitions in my life,but it's like there's a lot
going on with my body and wewere just talking about that
before we started.
But what are these things thatare going on in our body?
I'll go first.
Maryam Solhjou (04:27):
Go ahead.
Dana Lawson (04:32):
I am about five years post-menopausal, so things
have calmed down quite a bit.
For me, the perimenopausalyears were absolutely horrendous
, but part of it was because Ijust didn't know what was going
on.
And I didn't.
I had no knowledge of thisstage called perimenopause.
(04:54):
So it was pretty, it was prettyhorrible.
Lots of the classic symptomslike hot flashes, night sweats,
weight gain, depression, likeemotional.
I'm a very, very positive,upbeat person.
I love being around people.
People give me energy.
So when I started to retreatfrom people, I didn't.
(05:18):
I wanted to be alone more.
I was depressed and cried a lot.
That was really unusual for me.
So the hot flashes and nightsweats were another you know one
piece of it.
That was uncomfortable duringthe day, kept me up at night,
obviously.
But what really made me want tolook into this a little bit
(05:39):
more was the emotional piece.
I said to myself I can't livelike this.
I don't want to live like this.
And the little bit that I didknow was that it could last up
to 10 years and I was like, ohno, absolutely not, absolutely
(06:02):
not.
So that's when I started my ownpersonal journey to try to find
first find out what in the worldjust happened.
It felt like somebody flipped aswitch and then all of a sudden
, these things were happening.
Now I know that's not the truth, but it just felt that way.
(06:24):
So I needed to know what was mybody doing, what was going on
and how I could best supportmyself so that I wouldn't I can
decrease the discomfort, feelmore like myself, be that happy,
energetic person that I alwayswas.
And so that was my experience.
(06:45):
And it started probably.
You know, as I look back.
You know you learn so manythings when you look backwards,
don't you, christina?
Yeah, I was probably in my late30s when I started having the
emotional changes and then camethe night sweats and the hot
(07:06):
flashes in my early 40s.
Christina Smith (07:11):
I love that you say that, cause I mean, maybe
that's where we started.
It's like, where are we on ourjourney?
And for me it's like I feellike I'm four or five years into
perimenopause, um, because andI didn't notice it as much
before, because we were in areally cozy spot in our lives,
so like every time the emotionscame up I was like I'm just
(07:32):
feeling emotional, I'm just notgoing to make any major
decisions today.
I could use all my lifecoaching tools and be like, oh
yeah, I'm going to get throughthis, but for me it really has
tuned up in the last like sixmonths as we've been going
through a lot of like movingacross the country again, living
with family, doing all kinds ofinteresting things that I never
(07:53):
saw in my future, you know, andnow trying to adjust to all
that.
The point where lately I'm likeI don't know if the life
coaching tools are helping me,because it's like really
physiology right, like I can usethose coaching tools as much as
possible, but it doesn't makeme not feel like I want to tear
(08:14):
my skin off sometimes or I getitchy and and all these like
weird things that people havetold me, like I didn't know that
there was such a thing as theperiod flu until I had
perimenopause, and so learningto like cut down on my alcohol
the week before my period ormaking sure that you know, I
just watch all of that duringthe entire month is changes the
(08:37):
way that I experience it as well.
So there's a lot of things thatwe don't control, but there are
some things that we caninfluence is what I've learned.
How about anybody else?
Where's everybody else in theirlittle cycle of their natural
cycle of menstruation ormenopause?
Maryam Solhjou (08:59):
You know, I'm just glad there's so much media
attention going to menopause.
It feels like that in the lastcouple of years and it's not
something that I learned about along time ago and, as Dana was
saying, in retrospect, now thatI'm learning more, things are
starting to make sense on howeverything has unfolded.
(09:20):
Like a couple of years ago Istarted having these joint pains
and I just thought I hadoverworked myself through these
major hikes that I had gonethrough like eight, eight hour
hikes a day that we had done,you know, overseas.
And then I'm like, oh my God, Imessed up my own body.
But now I'm, I'm finding out,oh, that's part of like the
whole perimenopause journey.
(09:42):
I'm like, okay, well, at leastnow I have a reason that it
happened.
It makes sense.
You know, I just saw my doctorrecently and she's in the same
age group and going through thesame thing and she's like, yeah,
menopause sucks.
I'm like, yeah, you're tellingme.
So I'm just starting to learn alot.
(10:03):
Read a little bit more, figureout.
You know what.
You know what I need to dogoing forward.
You know how much protein Ishould be.
I used to be vegetarian.
Now they're saying you knowwhen you're in this stage, you
have to have more protein.
Well, figuring out how muchprotein I need to eat, and now
(10:23):
I'm walking around with aweighted vest because I have to
make sure that my muscles areare staying strong, so doing, I
guess, uh, learning more andself-educating myself on the
steps that I need to take tojust help myself through this
phase.
I'm glad we're talking aboutthat.
I have two daughters and Ithink it's great that they see
me going through it, because itwas not really something that
(10:45):
was even talked about when I wasgrowing up.
I never heard anybody mentionit really talked about.
Christina Smith (10:51):
When I was growing up.
I never heard anybody mentionit.
Really, I love that because mymom was thin, but when she was
like, I remember her starting toget all the VHS tapes of like
cardio exercise because her bodywas changing and she was
getting the stomach and she wasgetting the curves that she
never had before and she reallythought that cardio was going to
be the way that she was justgoing to burn that belly off,
(11:14):
right.
And that's what they told youin the eighties and nineties
anyways, like cut your fat andget your, get your, you know
your skinny on.
And I think, now that it's beingtalked about more, there is a
part of me that accepts more the, the bigger belly that I'm
having and the bigger hips andthe romp that I never had before
(11:36):
, um, which is nice, and it getsto be a bit much and a lot
different.
So with that I mean I reallywant to turn it to like Melissa,
because it's like our bodiesare changing and I know that
body acceptance is one of thethings that you work usually
with mom and teenagers.
But there's a whole new bodyacceptance when you come into
(11:57):
menopause because, like, thingsare different than they'd ever
been before.
Melissa Rohlfs (12:02):
For sure, and it's so funny because that's the
thing like our bodies arealways changing and I think the
disconnect is a lot of ushaven't been taught how to
listen to them or what they'resaying to us, so like we'll
maybe recognize we have acraving, and so we're in the
pantry eating the chips or theice cream, and it's like we
don't even ask what we'recraving.
Maybe we are craving more alonetime, maybe we're craving more
(12:22):
sleep, maybe we're craving morecreativity or social connection,
and so I think you know kind ofdeciphering and getting curious
and saying what do I need?
What does my body need rightnow, at this stage of this
season?
Not where I was, not where Iwant to be, but like where I am
right now.
I think there's a lot ofbenefit to that, because it's a
totally different season andstage of life that we're in, and
you can't really blame it onyour kids, because you guys were
(12:44):
talking.
Dana Lawson (12:58):
I was like, oh OK, I thought maybe this was part of
having two teenagers, but no, Ithink it's better menopause.
Christina Smith (13:00):
You just thought it was all the snacks
that you had around for theteenager.
Yeah, the body changes.
I was always like underweight,like to the point where people
would be asking me like how muchdo you weigh?
Because I was so thin.
And now, like a few years ago,I was telling a doctor about
some gut issues I had and he wasjust like.
I was just like, oh well, I hada hard time gaining weight when
I was younger and he looked atme and he goes doesn't look like
you have a problem now.
(13:21):
And I was like, oh, wow.
Maybe blunts sir.
Dana Lawson (13:29):
The rudeness, the rudeness.
Christina Smith (13:32):
Exactly so.
If it's not cardio and likefats and oils, what is it that
we need to be changing?
And, like I said, one of thethings that I noticed was
alcohol has a huge impact on howI experienced menopause.
Um, and, I love a cocktail,don't get me wrong.
However, I now have to becareful when I'm having those
(13:55):
cocktails and really beingconscious of uh, to what Melissa
said.
You know, what am I actuallycraving, you know, and I think
sometimes we can be quick topick up I can be quick when we
speak for myself to pick up a,you know, a drink, because it's
a.
It's an easy way to relax,right, like, instead of doing
the meditation or the breathingor the whatever the mindfulness
(14:16):
stuff, like it's just an easyway, at the end of the day, to
relax, but there's other ways todo it.
What are some of the otherthings that are impacting us in
menopause and perimenopause?
Dana Lawson (14:27):
You know, um, one thing, that thing that I
remember coming across as I wasgoing through my process, was
that I didn't associate thechanges that I was experiencing
with my health.
I just thought that they wereisolated things that were making
(14:51):
me uncomfortable in my body,but I didn't realize the impact
on my health.
That was such a brain blow forme because now I don't.
When a woman comes to me andshe says, oh, these hot flashes
are just relentless, and youknow it's like, well, they're
(15:12):
really not just you know, abothersome nuisance.
It actually has an effect onyour heart, your brain, and
that's where the hot flashesstart.
It's the temperature regulationin the brain that that's being
affected, and it's not a littlething that you can just blow off
(15:32):
or just say, well, I'll fanmyself, drink some ice water.
No, that it really, you know,affects a major system in the
body and and it needs to beaddressed.
And you know the weight gain isnot just uncomfortable.
And I wanted to make a littlejoke, christina, because you
know women are buying theseparts of the body these days,
(15:54):
right, I know.
Christina Smith (15:56):
I know Good thing, kim Kardashian made my
butt in style, right yeah.
Dana Lawson (16:02):
So, you know, what we thought was, you know, not
attractive, is actually, youknow, more attractive these days
.
But I mean, we're not trying tolive up to any societal
standards, of course, but youknow it's, it's, it's those,
those changes that are affectingyour metabolism.
So you know then, then it'slike, ok, well, if I'm not
(16:22):
hungry, I think, like Melissamentioned, what do I really need
?
Is it sleep?
Yeah, we've gone decades, bythe time menopause comes,
without getting good sleep.
Our sleep is interrupted,either because of a racing brain
or night sweats or what haveyou.
So these are our life and bodyprocesses that support good
(16:49):
health and so when they start tofall apart and things start
changing, it is going to affectour health.
I think, miriam, you mentionedthe joint pain.
It's like, well, you know, youstart to blame yourself.
You're like, oh no, all thatgood hiking I did, I might've
hurt myself, I might have ruinedit for myself.
(17:09):
Actually, you did a really goodthing for yourself, you know,
to keep your body strong.
But those pains, if we don'taddress them and, you know, do
the other lifestyle things andmaybe some other supportive
measures that we take tostrengthen our bones, you know,
strengthen our muscles then wecould be at risk for things that
(17:34):
shorten our life and affect thequality of our lives.
Christina Smith (17:40):
Yeah, sleep is so important.
It's so important and I evenfeel like I read somewhere that
in midlife women should actuallyhave nine to like our body is
going through it and when I'mgoing through a hot flash, like
(18:12):
I can feel it in my heart, likeI actually have to go lay down,
like I can't breathe, I startgetting really weird in my head,
where I can't hear thingsproperly.
Like this is all connected andI didn't know this because, as I
was going into perimenopause,only a couple of these things
would pop up at first and, likeDana was saying, I was like, oh,
(18:34):
this is just.
You know, I'm just havinganxiety, it must be anxiety, or
oh, yeah, I'm a little warm, butthen they start coming heavier
together and it's like, oh, Isee, this is actually all
connected.
This actually has so much to dowith everything that's going on
Down to.
Like I heard the other day thatitchy ears can be a part of
(18:56):
menopause and I was like thatmakes so much sense.
I'm in the middle of the nightand I'm just like, why are my
ears itchy?
What are going on here?
I actually have Q-tips next tomy bed now because I can't stand
it.
I would have looked at any oldlady and been like I don't know
what you're doing with theQ-tips next to your bed.
(19:17):
But today I'm just like thatwas helpful yes, q-tips next to
the beds that I can sleep atnight.
And I think it's just crazy howmany things can be connected to
it.
And it's also, you know, sad tosay that there's six times as
many people who study erectiledysfunction than they study
(19:37):
periods alone, let alonemenopause and what we go through
.
And so this is why we don'ttalk about it, because we don't
know enough about it, right,like it's like this big mystery
that women have been goingthrough for thousands and
thousands and thousands of years, which just seems so crazy and
(19:57):
it can show up differently fordifferent people, which I I also
think is amazing, cause I feellike I'm like every time I find
a box, I'm like yep, check thatone too.
Yep, that one too, like they'reall of them.
And so, with that, like what isit?
What kind of exercises have weall been doing in order to?
(20:18):
I heard Miriam say she's doingstrength training, that she has
a weighted vest, so when she'swalking she's getting that extra
strength training.
Because what I've heard and youknow anybody can correct me is
that we're starting to losemuscle, and it's a lot harder to
build muscle once you startlosing it than to maintain what
we have Anybody experiencing?
Melissa Rohlfs (20:39):
that I don't know about experiencing it, but
that's the same thing that I'veread and heard as well.
So I'm doing strength training.
I never did strength training.
I was like your mom, like I hadto do the cardio and sweat it
off and I'm like.
Nope, I'm lifting.
Did strength training, I waslike your mom, like I had to do
the cardio and sweat it off, andnow I'm like nope, I'm lifting,
I'm doing pushups, I'm likedoing all the things with
weights.
Dana Lawson (20:55):
Yeah, so true.
I mean, I think one of the sadrealities about you know, our
society is that they promoteexercise solely for weight loss.
How about we exercise just sothat we can feel good, that we
(21:15):
can protect our bodies?
How about it be preventioninstead of you know there's
something wrong with you, so nowyou need to exercise because
you don't look like you shouldlook, and, and that, I think, is
a really, really huge mindshift and a society shift that
that needs to happen.
But the more that you know wehave conversations like this one
(21:37):
, christina, we can reallyaddress that.
That's.
That's a misnomer.
In fact, I read a study whereyounger women who in that are
you know that, are you know,just like, at that 35 year age
where you know you know,progesterone starts to go down.
Estrogen kind of fluctuates alittle bit, but it's very slight
(21:58):
, so we can miss it at that age.
But because they did not putenough effort into exercise in
their early age, they'restarting to lose a bone early.
So so you have an earlier onsetof osteoporosis because of now
(22:20):
you're losing your hormones andso it's affecting your bone
mineral density.
But if you didn't do that earlyon and and and work out when
you're young, then you reallynow you're really going to lose
it.
So so I think that's where wehave to start is exercise is not
just for weight loss.
That that's a side benefit.
(22:42):
The exercise really makes youfeel good, you're being you're,
you're growing stronger in your,in your mind and in your body.
It makes you feel good.
And then the other part yeah,aesthetically it makes you look
good too.
But the other pieces shouldreally really be more important
because, as we reach midlife, ifwe, if we haven't put that
(23:03):
effort in early in our, in ourtwenties, and then to then make
that change because the bodyresponds so well, we're just
designed so well.
So you know, I think that'sreally huge for me and, yes, I
have a weighted vest.
I do lots and lots of walking.
I have a nice gym that myhusband bought, a nice bench
(23:27):
with incremental weights and,you know, like the old time,
barbell weights.
So those are, those are reallyreally helpful.
Christina Smith (23:37):
I love that you say that about weight, because
so we just had the Olympics andthey lined up all the Olympian
women and it was like sure someof them have the ideal.
You know, whatever we thinkideal model body is, but most of
them don't.
I mean, they come in all shapesand sizes and you know tallness
(23:59):
and whatever Like.
It's just, it's all, you know,different.
Some are curvy, some are boxy,some like, and so just because
your body doesn't look like itdid 20 years ago it's not
supposed to it doesn't mean thatwe can't be strong and healthy
because, like you said, it'sabout prevention or even
(24:23):
lengthening the quality of ourlife.
Right, it's okay if we live along life, but I sure would
appreciate the quality of life,of being able to move and be
active, and as long as possible,not just that.
So I love that you know we canstart to look at what does
healthy look like?
Not just not just the girls inthe magazines, cause that's not
(24:46):
really.
I got to tell you, when I wasunderweight I felt sicker than I
did when I'm, when I gained theweight Like I would rather be a
few pounds over than poundsunder, because I just I have
more energy.
That way I feel, um, I justfeel healthier and I can do more
than, and I don't have to keepeating like a rabbit all day
(25:08):
because my body, my body,couldn't contain calories for
very long because I'd be burningthem off and it was just
terrible.
So I don't think, I think thatyou know, like what Melissa does
about body, body acceptanceright is really like, and I
always love the quote that saysradical transformation starts
(25:29):
with the radical acceptance ofwhat is.
It's Daniel report, um quote,because if we can accept where
we are, then we can say great, Ilove you body, I love where we
are.
And do I want to change somethings?
Do I want to be stronger?
Do I want to have more energy?
Sure, but starting withacceptance first, is that what
(25:50):
you would work with, melissa,with your clients?
Melissa Rohlfs (25:53):
Yeah, absolutely , and I think it's accepting and
acknowledging like everythingyour body does for you,
everything it's done for you,because our bodies are amazing.
I mean think of like everythingthat your body enables you to
do, it enables you to live thelife that you have, and I think
really focusing on that ispowerful.
But I think too to Dana's pointlike it's life and body and
those two are so interconnected.
(26:14):
Like our lives affect ourbodies, they affect our health.
Like you can't, you can'tseparate the two, regardless how
hard you try.
So, absolutely, I think,starting there is a great place
with the acceptance.
Christina Smith (26:24):
Beautiful.
And, miriam, I heard you saythat you're eating more protein
than ever before, which is likesomething that is just like.
And.
And when you say, like there'smore media on menopause, I'm
just like is that because it'sin my timeline, or is there
really a lot more out there?
I'm not sure, but I do.
(26:45):
I do hear a lot about like.
As we age, protein becomesreally important, so tell us a
little bit about how your dietmay have changed.
Maryam Solhjou (26:52):
Um with the protein um, you know I was
thinking is is it me that I'm inmenopause, that I'm hearing
more about it, or is therereally more?
I don't feel there's more aboutit than me.
I believe over did this wholething on on menopause.
And then you have all theseexperts now, like dr mary claire
ca, who's like promoting, likethe weighted best, and things to
do like that.
(27:13):
But you know, the higherprotein also leads to higher
cholesterol, right, so and?
But then, like right now, I'vechanged my diet a little bit.
I used to be a vegetarian, sonow I'm having more protein, but
I'm also seeing in my bloodwork that my cholesterol has has
gone up a little bit.
But that can also come with,you know, when you're in
perimenopause as well.
(27:33):
So it's like what do Iattribute this to?
And you know, what am I goingto do about it.
So that's something I'm stilllearning and playing with.
I wanted to just go back tosomething that Dana said.
One thing that I'm reallyfocusing on is, you know, I mean
, my middle has gotten bigger.
Last year, I think, I gainedlike 12 pounds.
(27:54):
It felt like overnight that mymiddle section got bigger.
Um, but what I'm learning ishow I maintain my body right now
will determine when I'm in my70s what's going to happen.
Because we hear a lot of peoplewhen they get older they have a
fall and they break somethingand then that makes them have to
(28:16):
lie in bed and then they can'tmove and it just becomes this
spiral they go down.
So what we do right now reallyimpacts um, how that, um how how
well we recover from whatever,you know, uh, falls or something
that we may have in the future.
Christina Smith (28:35):
I love that too , because my parents and my
husband's parents are like fiveyears apart, but you would
believe that they were like 20years apart, cause my mom.
So she's still a nurse in herseventies.
She works 12 hour days, she'srunning around floors, but
that's how she's been her entirelife.
So her health is so muchgreater, it seems, than his
(28:57):
parents because because she'sjust always been active and busy
and doing things, you know, andI mean she does eat pretty
healthy as well.
She's a nurse, so all of thosethings, those 12 hour days she's
been working and she enjoys it.
She wouldn't know what to dowithout a job.
She'd be confused what am Isupposed to do?
All day?
(29:17):
So she enjoys it.
But it's also kept her reallyhealthy by keeping her active.
And that's not to say thatpeople shouldn't retire, it's
just to say that she, you know,was kind of forced to do that
physical labor every day, and soit really makes a difference,
you know, and they do this allthe time on social media.
They put people up against eachother and they're like, wow,
(29:37):
they're the same age, likethat's pretty amazing.
Like some of the golden girlswere younger than some of us
when they started the goldengirls and we don't look like no
golden girls yet.
Dana Lawson (29:49):
I don't believe you know I'm sorry to make to
Miriam's point about the proteinI was a vegetarian for many
years in my um, in my early,early thirties, through my
forties.
But I did it because of weightloss I mean, it was it was.
(30:11):
I thought it would also help mebe healthier.
You know, as those changesstarted to happen in my, my late
thirties, early forties, I lostso much hair, my hair was
coming out all over the placeand sadly I didn't make the
connection that my body wassaying I need more protein, I
(30:36):
don't have enough to keep upwith your declining muscle and
keep your hair in your head.
So, um, once I learned why andI and truly it didn't begin
until I was in my, my fifties,my early fifties that I, that I
made that change and, um, it wasa, it was a huge difference and
(31:01):
I felt better, I had moreenergy, my workouts were better.
So there is a lot of researchthat's been done and evidence
that we can.
You know that backs up the factthat we need the protein to
maintain the muscle andeverything else that protein
(31:24):
does.
And while we don't want theunhealthy cholesterol to go up,
cholesterol is one of thebuilding blocks of hormones, so
we need to have the healthycholesterol in adequate amounts
and I think there's a reallygreat solution and a healthy and
(31:44):
happy balance between consuminganimal protein and still
keeping your your cholesterollevels, you know, in a healthy
range.
And it's it's all about, youknow, really getting into your
body and seeing what, what worksbest for you, because each
(32:04):
person, you know dna, theirlifestyle, all those things
genetics have have a lot to dowith.
You know, whether ourcholesterol is going to be
higher or not, um, you know inin this, in this midlife stage,
but all women will experience itbecause of the loss of estrogen
that controls how our HDLcholesterol and that's why the
(32:30):
LDL climbs so much.
Christina Smith (32:32):
And this is.
You know, vegans andvegetarians, don't come at us,
we're just giving you ourexperience.
I'm sure that there are healthyways to get enough protein as a
vegetarian or a vegan, and forme it just would take a lot more
effort, like we do meatlessmeals Absolutely, we don't do
(32:52):
meat all the time but at thesame time, um, you know, it
would take a lot more focus fromme and with my food issues.
This is the best I'm doing.
So we're not against vegans orvegetarians.
If you have a way of doing it,tell us about it.
Come, come on the show and tellus about how you're getting
enough protein, cause I don'tdoubt that it can be done.
(33:13):
It's just it's just a littlebit harder.
It's like just easy to do that.
Um, hey, high protein, gobblegobble.
Hey, high protein, gobblegobble.
All right, so one of the pillarsthat we haven't mentioned yet
that you were talking about,dana was stress management.
Oh boy, because that's the onethat's been messing me up,
(33:37):
because I can do the other threeas long as I don't have that
fourth one like looming over mewith like transitions and
changes and discomfort and allof that other stuff that goes on
in midlife, cause it's not justme moving across the country or
changing up my lifestyle, ithappens to everybody.
We're losing kids becausethey're going off into the world
, which is a good thing, butit's also a hard thing for many
(33:59):
of us.
We might be starting to carefor aging parents, we might be
having career shifts or careerthoughts that are different, we
might be in and out offriendships and wondering what
that's about.
There's so many changes thatcan happen in midlife.
So how do we?
What are some of your greattips for stress management?
(34:21):
What do we do about it?
Dana Lawson (34:22):
Well, um, for and and I don't.
I don't practice what I don'tpreach, so I'm definitely doing
these things myself.
One of the things that Iabsolutely love to do is um EFT
tapping.
So it's emotional freedomtechnique and that's a cognitive
, behavioral, you know, methodof managing your stress.
(34:44):
But it's not only stress thatit helps with, but it actually
it calms the nervous system.
Like you have a direct line toyour you know, using these
meridian points to almostcommunicate with your nervous
system to let your brain knowthat there's nothing to fear,
(35:07):
there's no danger, you're safe,and that will help lower your
cortisol levels.
It's excellent for helping todeal with trauma, heal from
traumatic experiences.
So that I love.
That's my favorite.
(35:28):
My next favorite is journaling,because I've always loved to
write and when I write down myfeelings and how I've resolved
them.
One thing about keeping notesis that I can look back at my
journal and say, wow, look howfar you've come, you know, and,
and really celebrate that winand be happy.
(35:50):
You know about where I am now.
So those are my two favoriteways of managing stress.
Um, and and I think Miriam youwere talking about you know,
like your, your like you helpwomen to thrive in their
relationships and we have lessreserve, I'll say, when it comes
(36:15):
to the challenges, and that'swhy stress hits us so hard in
perimenopause.
We don't have what we used tohave in our bodies.
You know these hormones thatare that support us when we go
through stressful times, and sonow we could be hit with the
same stress as we did when wewere 20, but now we're crumbling
at 40.
(36:35):
And and and it's because andthat's, I think, to your point,
miriam, about relationships whythey're so difficult, because of
you know what we areexperiencing, what we're going
through.
Maryam Solhjou (36:49):
I work with men and women, so for my male
clients out there, just so.
So for stress, you know itmight be because of my
background in coaching StressNow I you know it might be
because of my background incoaching I have a lot of tools
that I use for stress.
Like some of them, journalingis one of them.
(37:10):
Right, I have a couple ofprompts that I do in the evening
and a couple of prompts in themorning before I start my day.
I love Tai Chi.
That's been very helpful.
I started doing Tai Chi mainlyfor you know the breathing
techniques.
I had a hard time like doingmeditation, just sitting and
breathing.
So Tai Chi is a movingmeditation and you know, as I
(37:31):
started that I noticed, oh, thisis also actually helping my
bones and muscles because youhave to go down really slow, get
up really slow.
I do that.
I love spending time in nature,I love hiking, we love going to
the mountains, so that's reallyhelpful.
And coming back to whatChristina said about acceptance,
I think that that is has beenmy just a mental, just my
(37:57):
automatic go to.
Usually when I get there, I getthere faster nowadays.
Is that accepting right?
So, like last year when I had.
You know, all of a sudden, Ihad this weight gain around my
middle, like my clothes weren'tfitting me.
And so, melissa, I'm sure youcan speak to this and then so,
when I would go into my closet,I would look at all of these
(38:17):
clothes that no longer fit me.
And then, after a while, I'mlike look, I can't keep walking
into my closet and seeing theseclothes that no longer fit,
because I may not immediatelynotice it, but my subconscious
is noticing oh my God, none ofthis stuff fits me anymore.
So I, first of all, I gave halfmy closet away.
(38:37):
The things that I really loved,I put in a duffel bag, I put it
in the closet.
I'm giving myself like a coupleof years to see if it'll fit me
or not, and then I will donatethose clothes as well.
So, acceptance of you.
Know, I'm in a different stage,I'm in a different season of my
life.
This is what my body is goingto be like, right, for right now
, I'm going to do what I can forit, but I also don't want to.
(39:00):
I don't want to keep, I don'twant to fight it, because, first
of all, I'm setting an example,I'm modeling for my daughters.
Right.
My body is going to lookdifferent.
I am different than I was 10years ago.
So I think, acceptance of thechanges that we go through, I
think it's for me like that'slike the number one thing to
help me manage my stress Awesome.
Christina Smith (39:21):
And I loved all that that you said.
Cause EFT it helps me when I'min a hot flash, Like, even if
it's just to distract my brainand to like bring that cortisol
level down so that my heartstops doing that thing.
Um, like, whatever, I love that.
And journaling, I mean I gottatell you as much of a life coach
(39:42):
and I've told people to do it Istopped doing it for a while
and just in the last six months,as things have changed a lot in
my life, it's really beenhelpful for me to like write
down all these emotionalthoughts that I'm having and
then look at it and say, okay, Isee the uncomfortable, wounded
child voice in that, or somepeople would say victim I don't
(40:04):
like to call it victim becausethen we all get defensive but
that wounded child part of us,it's like I'm really
uncomfortable, I don't want thisto happen right now.
And then being able to step inthe more empowered part of me
and going, okay, Christina, asan adult, you're adult.
What is it that we actuallyneed out of this situation?
So both of those have beenreally helpful to me.
(40:27):
For my clients, they dovisualizations.
They love visualizationsbecause it helps them tap into
their own wisdom, rather thanlike staying focused on whatever
the discomfort is that's goingon.
And yeah, what else?
What else?
What do you do?
What do you?
How do you calm your clientsdown and get them into a calmer
(40:47):
state of mind so that they cansee the reality?
Melissa Rohlfs (40:50):
yeah, there's two things you guys didn't
mention, because everything elseI'm totally on board with um.
But one thing is the 557 breath, because it kind of links the
sympathetic nervous system andparasympathetic.
It calms the body and the braindown, because when we are
stressed and overwhelmed ourbrain might be doing one thing
and our body's doing another.
So this kind of brings themtogether and helps you calm down
.
It's free, you can do itanywhere.
(41:11):
You can do it at the grocerystore when somebody's in the
checkout, the express lane, andthey have 25 items when they're
only supposed to have 10.
But you can do the five, five,seven breath where you breathe
in for five seconds, you holdthat breath for five seconds and
then you exhale for sevenseconds.
So that's one thing I love todo.
The other thing that reallyhelps me is to make sure I have
enough time, because my stressoris being rushed.
(41:32):
So I always try to like givemyself a buffer in my schedule.
I get up before my family so Ihave alone time.
Like I think it's kind ofknowing what your triggers are,
what makes you feel stressed,and doing things to work, what
you can control in yourcircumstance to make it not
trigger you, so those are my two.
Christina Smith (41:49):
I love that.
Those are both really great too.
Thanks for making sure we gotthose in as well.
So we have come to the.
I mean, this has been such alovely conversation.
I could laugh with you ladiesall day about, you know, the
menopause, even though it's notso funny.
It is kind of funny, right.
We have to laugh at what we can, because what else can we do?
(42:09):
Cry, I guess, but it's not asmuch fun.
So now we're going to leavewith one piece of wisdom and, if
you know, share whatever it isthat you want to share about you
and your business and whateveris going on.
But I guess I would leave uswith.
What is it I wanted to leave uswith?
I felt like there was somethinga second ago that you were
(42:30):
talking about and I was like, ah, that's so good.
See, another symptom ofmenopause is I can't remember
the damn thing that it was justthere a second ago.
So with that, I'm actuallygoing to have y'all check out
first and then come back to me,and I'm sure it'll come back up.
Miriam, what's one piece ofwisdom you got.
Maryam Solhjou (42:50):
That's so funny.
I'm going through all thesechanges and I see, you know
midlifers around me goingthrough all these changes.
I think the one piece of wisdomis knowing what I have control
over and what I don't.
Yeah, and just an understandingof that.
There are certain things thatI'm not going to be, I'm not
(43:10):
going to have control over, andto have compassion for myself
and others as we're just goingthrough this, navigating this
shifting terrain.
Right, that comes with thestage.
Christina Smith (43:20):
Would you like to leave us with anything around
your business?
All of Miriam's links are below, so if you want to get in touch
with her and talk about yourrelationships and midlife and
all of that other jazz, you canget ahold of her there.
Awesome Thanks, miriam.
Thanks for being here.
Melissa Rohlfs (43:38):
Thanks for having me yeah, melissa.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingis to be curious and
compassionate with yourself.
It's really easy to maybe getdiscouraged and judge yourself
and criticize yourself and think, oh my gosh, it wasn't this way
and I'm changing, and thatdoesn't really serve anybody.
So if you can kind of replacejudgment with curiosity and
maybe start to ask why, why isthis happening?
Dana Lawson (44:20):
Why am I feeling this way?
You know, do some research,really learn to connect with
your body I think that's reallyempowering would be to get out
of your head and get into yourbody, in our heads, worrying
(44:42):
about this, what we did do, whatwe didn't do, what we should
have done, feeling guilty about,you know, things that don't
even have anything to do with usand, and you know, all of that
creates like this swirl ofthings in our heads and we
(45:08):
forget about this, thisbeautifully designed our bodies
and how our mind and body isconnected.
If we spend too much time in ourheads and less time in our body
, then I think we do becomeimpatient, less compassionate,
you know, not curious, right,melissa?
Because we're spending too muchtime in here.
If we could just be more withthis body and I think, like all
(45:35):
of us have mentioned, to be morecompassionate, to really show
appreciation for this gift andbe be grateful for what the
things that we can do, what thethings that we can change if we
want to change them, but nobodydoesn't.
You don't do any good hatingyourself on this journey.
You'll get there either way,but you'll get there a lot
(45:57):
better and a lot faster and alot more, a lot healthier
emotionally If you love what youhave and appreciate what you
have, change what you can and,and you know, just be grateful
for every.
Christina Smith (46:11):
I love that and all your links will be down
below too.
Dana's really great abouthelping women through menopause,
so if you're struggling, that'sreally a really great place for
you to find some good resources.
What I was going to say is kindof connected to all of that was
permission to slow down andpermission to cause.
That's the hard part for me islike I know I should be doing
(46:33):
like slowing down.
I know I should like like I'mhaving a hot flash.
Maybe I should just go lay downfor 10 minutes, but it's like
damn it, I'm in the middle ofsomething.
I don't want to.
I want to finish this thingright.
So and I actually wrote downpermission to slow down and tune
into your body, because I thinkthat that's we can.
We have a monkey mind and itcan make us really crazy if we
(46:54):
don't actually tune in to whatit is we want and to what
Melissa said earlier we justgrab the carbs or for me, like
the vodka, instead of going.
What is it that I'm actuallycraving right now?
What is it that I and we can'tdo that from our brains.
We have to do that in ourbodies.
Thank you all for being here.
This has been a lovelyconversation, one of my
(47:17):
favorites so far.
Don't tell the others and thankyou, audience, for all tuning
in.
We will see you again next week.
Welcome back to the Inviting Shift podcast.
I am here with some reallybeautiful women that are going
to talk about health andmenopause, and this is something
that I don't think you knowmost of us didn't learn about.
Maybe we had some great, greatmoms and grandmoms that talked
to us about it, but a lot of usit was just kind of something
that women keep to themselves,and so this is to talk about,
(00:25):
like, what is it that we can doand what is it that's changing
and in our midlife that isdifferent.
You know, what kinds of thingsdo we have to do differently?
That may be the same old, sameold health stuff isn't working
for us.
So I'm your host, ChristinaSmith.
I'm a midlife coach.
I want women all over the worldto be really confident so that
(00:46):
their second half can be themore confident half of their
life, and I'm going to introducesome of our guests.
Miriam is one of my favoritepeople.
We connect every week foraccountability and I love that
about us.
Miriam, can you tell us alittle bit more about what it is
that you do?
And here you are, Thanks.
Maryam Solhjou (01:05):
Christina for having me on.
Yeah, I'm Maryam Solhjou.
I am a midlife coach and I helpmidlifers cultivate more
intention and wisdom in theirrelationships, the relationships
they have with themselves, thepeople in their lives.
So the second half of theirlife they feel nurtured in those
relationships.
Christina Smith (01:25):
Beautiful.
Thank you, Miriam and Melissa,tell us a little bit about you.
You're pretty new to me, butI'm really excited to get to
know you and have thisconversation.
Melissa Rohlfs (01:34):
Well, thank you for having me in for the
conversation.
I'm excited to be here.
My name is Melissa Rohlfs.
I'm a holistic health and lifecoach and I help women and teen
girls cultivate a healthyrelationship with food and a
positive body image.
So hormones, menopause allplays a part in that, for sure.
Christina Smith (01:51):
Sure, absolutely, and as we're getting
to menopause, sometimes we havebodies that we didn't have
before.
We're getting used to them allover again, and so what a
perfect place for you to havethat conversation.
And Dana I have had Dana on theInviting Shift podcast before
and she's been on the summit andwe just love her for all things
(02:12):
health and menopause.
Dana Lawson (02:15):
Thank you and thanks for having me, and, yes,
we have had a little bit of alove affair for the past year or
so, right?
But I'm Dana Lawson, I'm acertified health coach and
menopause coach, and so I helpwomen to understand what's
happening to their bodies asthey're going through this
(02:35):
process and help them to findsolutions that will align with
them, and I use four pillars ofstress management sleep, getting
good sleep, nutrition andexercise, as well as other
holistic means to really dial inwhat their body needs at this
(02:56):
time so they can really be happy.
Christina Smith (02:59):
I love that, because every woman's body is
different.
I have clients who, like,they're through menopause and
they're like, yeah, I didn'teven know what was happening, it
was just done and it was like,whew, blessings to you.
Cause that has not been myexperience whatsoever and I just
want to.
I, just before we start talking, I just want to let everybody
know none of us are medicaldoctors, so what we're going to
(03:24):
be talking about today is, fromour experiences, our clients'
experiences, this you shouldstill go see a medical
professional that you are.
You know that you trust in umto get the right solutions for
you or like right Um, but theseare going to be some ways in
which we have helped ourselvesor helped clients, or even, you
(03:49):
know, got from Auntie Maisiethat she told us what we might
try.
You know, but this is notmedical advice.
I just want to clarify thatbefore we go on.
We're just a bunch of midlifewomen having a conversation
about what it's like to gothrough life and so, with that,
what's menopause like for y'all?
I'm curious Anybody can jump inhere because I got to tell you
(04:13):
it's been a roller coaster forme and I'm not sure if it's like
all the transitions in my life,but it's like there's a lot
going on with my body and wewere just talking about that
before we started.
But what are these things thatare going on in our body?
I'll go first.
Maryam Solhjou (04:27):
Go ahead.
Dana Lawson (04:32):
I am about five years post-menopausal, so things
have calmed down quite a bit.
For me, the perimenopausalyears were absolutely horrendous
, but part of it was because Ijust didn't know what was going
on.
And I didn't.
I had no knowledge of thisstage called perimenopause.
(04:54):
So it was pretty, it was prettyhorrible.
Lots of the classic symptomslike hot flashes, night sweats,
weight gain, depression, likeemotional.
I'm a very, very positive,upbeat person.
I love being around people.
People give me energy.
So when I started to retreatfrom people, I didn't.
(05:18):
I wanted to be alone more.
I was depressed and cried a lot.
That was really unusual for me.
So the hot flashes and nightsweats were another you know one
piece of it.
That was uncomfortable duringthe day, kept me up at night,
obviously.
But what really made me want tolook into this a little bit
(05:39):
more was the emotional piece.
I said to myself I can't livelike this.
I don't want to live like this.
And the little bit that I didknow was that it could last up
to 10 years and I was like, ohno, absolutely not, absolutely
(06:02):
not.
So that's when I started my ownpersonal journey to try to find
first find out what in the worldjust happened.
It felt like somebody flipped aswitch and then all of a sudden
, these things were happening.
Now I know that's not the truth, but it just felt that way.
(06:24):
So I needed to know what was mybody doing, what was going on
and how I could best supportmyself so that I wouldn't I can
decrease the discomfort, feelmore like myself, be that happy,
energetic person that I alwayswas.
And so that was my experience.
(06:45):
And it started probably.
You know, as I look back.
You know you learn so manythings when you look backwards,
don't you, christina?
Yeah, I was probably in my late30s when I started having the
emotional changes and then camethe night sweats and the hot
(07:06):
flashes in my early 40s.
Christina Smith (07:11):
I love that you say that, cause I mean, maybe
that's where we started.
It's like, where are we on ourjourney?
And for me it's like I feellike I'm four or five years into
perimenopause, um, because andI didn't notice it as much
before, because we were in areally cozy spot in our lives,
so like every time the emotionscame up I was like I'm just
(07:32):
feeling emotional, I'm just notgoing to make any major
decisions today.
I could use all my lifecoaching tools and be like, oh
yeah, I'm going to get throughthis, but for me it really has
tuned up in the last like sixmonths as we've been going
through a lot of like movingacross the country again, living
with family, doing all kinds ofinteresting things that I never
(07:53):
saw in my future, you know, andnow trying to adjust to all
that.
The point where lately I'm likeI don't know if the life
coaching tools are helping me,because it's like really
physiology right, like I can usethose coaching tools as much as
possible, but it doesn't makeme not feel like I want to tear
(08:14):
my skin off sometimes or I getitchy and and all these like
weird things that people havetold me, like I didn't know that
there was such a thing as theperiod flu until I had
perimenopause, and so learningto like cut down on my alcohol
the week before my period ormaking sure that you know, I
just watch all of that duringthe entire month is changes the
(08:37):
way that I experience it as well.
So there's a lot of things thatwe don't control, but there are
some things that we caninfluence is what I've learned.
How about anybody else?
Where's everybody else in theirlittle cycle of their natural
cycle of menstruation ormenopause?
Maryam Solhjou (08:59):
You know, I'm just glad there's so much media
attention going to menopause.
It feels like that in the lastcouple of years and it's not
something that I learned about along time ago and, as Dana was
saying, in retrospect, now thatI'm learning more, things are
starting to make sense on howeverything has unfolded.
(09:20):
Like a couple of years ago Istarted having these joint pains
and I just thought I hadoverworked myself through these
major hikes that I had gonethrough like eight, eight hour
hikes a day that we had done,you know, overseas.
And then I'm like, oh my God, Imessed up my own body.
But now I'm, I'm finding out,oh, that's part of like the
whole perimenopause journey.
(09:42):
I'm like, okay, well, at leastnow I have a reason that it
happened.
It makes sense.
You know, I just saw my doctorrecently and she's in the same
age group and going through thesame thing and she's like, yeah,
menopause sucks.
I'm like, yeah, you're tellingme.
So I'm just starting to learn alot.
(10:03):
Read a little bit more, figureout.
You know what.
You know what I need to dogoing forward.
You know how much protein Ishould be.
I used to be vegetarian.
Now they're saying you knowwhen you're in this stage, you
have to have more protein.
Well, figuring out how muchprotein I need to eat, and now
(10:23):
I'm walking around with aweighted vest because I have to
make sure that my muscles areare staying strong, so doing, I
guess, uh, learning more andself-educating myself on the
steps that I need to take tojust help myself through this
phase.
I'm glad we're talking aboutthat.
I have two daughters and Ithink it's great that they see
me going through it, because itwas not really something that
(10:45):
was even talked about when I wasgrowing up.
I never heard anybody mentionit really talked about.
Christina Smith (10:51):
When I was growing up.
I never heard anybody mentionit.
Really, I love that because mymom was thin, but when she was
like, I remember her starting toget all the VHS tapes of like
cardio exercise because her bodywas changing and she was
getting the stomach and she wasgetting the curves that she
never had before and she reallythought that cardio was going to
be the way that she was justgoing to burn that belly off,
(11:14):
right.
And that's what they told youin the eighties and nineties
anyways, like cut your fat andget your, get your, you know
your skinny on.
And I think, now that it's beingtalked about more, there is a
part of me that accepts more the, the bigger belly that I'm
having and the bigger hips andthe romp that I never had before
(11:36):
, um, which is nice, and it getsto be a bit much and a lot
different.
So with that I mean I reallywant to turn it to like Melissa,
because it's like our bodiesare changing and I know that
body acceptance is one of thethings that you work usually
with mom and teenagers.
But there's a whole new bodyacceptance when you come into
(11:57):
menopause because, like, thingsare different than they'd ever
been before.
Melissa Rohlfs (12:02):
For sure, and it's so funny because that's the
thing like our bodies arealways changing and I think the
disconnect is a lot of ushaven't been taught how to
listen to them or what they'resaying to us, so like we'll
maybe recognize we have acraving, and so we're in the
pantry eating the chips or theice cream, and it's like we
don't even ask what we'recraving.
Maybe we are craving more alonetime, maybe we're craving more
(12:22):
sleep, maybe we're craving morecreativity or social connection,
and so I think you know kind ofdeciphering and getting curious
and saying what do I need?
What does my body need rightnow, at this stage of this
season?
Not where I was, not where Iwant to be, but like where I am
right now.
I think there's a lot ofbenefit to that, because it's a
totally different season andstage of life that we're in, and
you can't really blame it onyour kids, because you guys were
(12:44):
talking.
Dana Lawson (12:58):
I was like, oh OK, I thought maybe this was part of
having two teenagers, but no, Ithink it's better menopause.
Christina Smith (13:00):
You just thought it was all the snacks
that you had around for theteenager.
Yeah, the body changes.
I was always like underweight,like to the point where people
would be asking me like how muchdo you weigh?
Because I was so thin.
And now, like a few years ago,I was telling a doctor about
some gut issues I had and he wasjust like.
I was just like, oh well, I hada hard time gaining weight when
I was younger and he looked atme and he goes doesn't look like
you have a problem now.
(13:21):
And I was like, oh, wow.
Maybe blunts sir.
Dana Lawson (13:29):
The rudeness, the rudeness.
Christina Smith (13:32):
Exactly so.
If it's not cardio and likefats and oils, what is it that
we need to be changing?
And, like I said, one of thethings that I noticed was
alcohol has a huge impact on howI experienced menopause.
Um, and, I love a cocktail,don't get me wrong.
However, I now have to becareful when I'm having those
(13:55):
cocktails and really beingconscious of uh, to what Melissa
said.
You know, what am I actuallycraving, you know, and I think
sometimes we can be quick topick up I can be quick when we
speak for myself to pick up a,you know, a drink, because it's
a.
It's an easy way to relax,right, like, instead of doing
the meditation or the breathingor the whatever the mindfulness
(14:16):
stuff, like it's just an easyway, at the end of the day, to
relax, but there's other ways todo it.
What are some of the otherthings that are impacting us in
menopause and perimenopause?
Dana Lawson (14:27):
You know, um, one thing, that thing that I
remember coming across as I wasgoing through my process, was
that I didn't associate thechanges that I was experiencing
with my health.
I just thought that they wereisolated things that were making
(14:51):
me uncomfortable in my body,but I didn't realize the impact
on my health.
That was such a brain blow forme because now I don't.
When a woman comes to me andshe says, oh, these hot flashes
are just relentless, and youknow it's like, well, they're
(15:12):
really not just you know, abothersome nuisance.
It actually has an effect onyour heart, your brain, and
that's where the hot flashesstart.
It's the temperature regulationin the brain that that's being
affected, and it's not a littlething that you can just blow off
(15:32):
or just say, well, I'll fanmyself, drink some ice water.
No, that it really, you know,affects a major system in the
body and and it needs to beaddressed.
And you know the weight gain isnot just uncomfortable.
And I wanted to make a littlejoke, christina, because you
know women are buying theseparts of the body these days,
(15:54):
right, I know.
Christina Smith (15:56):
I know Good thing, kim Kardashian made my
butt in style, right yeah.
Dana Lawson (16:02):
So, you know, what we thought was, you know, not
attractive, is actually, youknow, more attractive these days
.
But I mean, we're not trying tolive up to any societal
standards, of course, but youknow it's, it's, it's those,
those changes that are affectingyour metabolism.
So you know then, then it'slike, ok, well, if I'm not
(16:22):
hungry, I think, like Melissamentioned, what do I really need
?
Is it sleep?
Yeah, we've gone decades, bythe time menopause comes,
without getting good sleep.
Our sleep is interrupted,either because of a racing brain
or night sweats or what haveyou.
So these are our life and bodyprocesses that support good
(16:49):
health and so when they start tofall apart and things start
changing, it is going to affectour health.
I think, miriam, you mentionedthe joint pain.
It's like, well, you know, youstart to blame yourself.
You're like, oh no, all thatgood hiking I did, I might've
hurt myself, I might have ruinedit for myself.
(17:09):
Actually, you did a really goodthing for yourself, you know,
to keep your body strong.
But those pains, if we don'taddress them and, you know, do
the other lifestyle things andmaybe some other supportive
measures that we take tostrengthen our bones, you know,
strengthen our muscles then wecould be at risk for things that
(17:34):
shorten our life and affect thequality of our lives.
Christina Smith (17:40):
Yeah, sleep is so important.
It's so important and I evenfeel like I read somewhere that
in midlife women should actuallyhave nine to like our body is
going through it and when I'mgoing through a hot flash, like
(18:12):
I can feel it in my heart, likeI actually have to go lay down,
like I can't breathe, I startgetting really weird in my head,
where I can't hear thingsproperly.
Like this is all connected andI didn't know this because, as I
was going into perimenopause,only a couple of these things
would pop up at first and, likeDana was saying, I was like, oh,
(18:34):
this is just.
You know, I'm just havinganxiety, it must be anxiety, or
oh, yeah, I'm a little warm, butthen they start coming heavier
together and it's like, oh, Isee, this is actually all
connected.
This actually has so much to dowith everything that's going on
Down to.
Like I heard the other day thatitchy ears can be a part of
(18:56):
menopause and I was like thatmakes so much sense.
I'm in the middle of the nightand I'm just like, why are my
ears itchy?
What are going on here?
I actually have Q-tips next tomy bed now because I can't stand
it.
I would have looked at any oldlady and been like I don't know
what you're doing with theQ-tips next to your bed.
(19:17):
But today I'm just like thatwas helpful yes, q-tips next to
the beds that I can sleep atnight.
And I think it's just crazy howmany things can be connected to
it.
And it's also, you know, sad tosay that there's six times as
many people who study erectiledysfunction than they study
(19:37):
periods alone, let alonemenopause and what we go through
.
And so this is why we don'ttalk about it, because we don't
know enough about it, right,like it's like this big mystery
that women have been goingthrough for thousands and
thousands and thousands of years, which just seems so crazy and
(19:57):
it can show up differently fordifferent people, which I I also
think is amazing, cause I feellike I'm like every time I find
a box, I'm like yep, check thatone too.
Yep, that one too, like they'reall of them.
And so, with that, like what isit?
What kind of exercises have weall been doing in order to?
(20:18):
I heard Miriam say she's doingstrength training, that she has
a weighted vest, so when she'swalking she's getting that extra
strength training.
Because what I've heard and youknow anybody can correct me is
that we're starting to losemuscle, and it's a lot harder to
build muscle once you startlosing it than to maintain what
we have Anybody experiencing?
Melissa Rohlfs (20:39):
that I don't know about experiencing it, but
that's the same thing that I'veread and heard as well.
So I'm doing strength training.
I never did strength training.
I was like your mom, like I hadto do the cardio and sweat it
off and I'm like.
Nope, I'm lifting.
Did strength training, I waslike your mom, like I had to do
the cardio and sweat it off, andnow I'm like nope, I'm lifting,
I'm doing pushups, I'm likedoing all the things with
weights.
Dana Lawson (20:55):
Yeah, so true.
I mean, I think one of the sadrealities about you know, our
society is that they promoteexercise solely for weight loss.
How about we exercise just sothat we can feel good, that we
(21:15):
can protect our bodies?
How about it be preventioninstead of you know there's
something wrong with you, so nowyou need to exercise because
you don't look like you shouldlook, and, and that, I think, is
a really, really huge mindshift and a society shift that
that needs to happen.
But the more that you know wehave conversations like this one
(21:37):
, christina, we can reallyaddress that.
That's.
That's a misnomer.
In fact, I read a study whereyounger women who in that are
you know that, are you know,just like, at that 35 year age
where you know you know,progesterone starts to go down.
Estrogen kind of fluctuates alittle bit, but it's very slight
(21:58):
, so we can miss it at that age.
But because they did not putenough effort into exercise in
their early age, they'restarting to lose a bone early.
So so you have an earlier onsetof osteoporosis because of now
(22:20):
you're losing your hormones andso it's affecting your bone
mineral density.
But if you didn't do that earlyon and and and work out when
you're young, then you reallynow you're really going to lose
it.
So so I think that's where wehave to start is exercise is not
just for weight loss.
That that's a side benefit.
(22:42):
The exercise really makes youfeel good, you're being you're,
you're growing stronger in your,in your mind and in your body.
It makes you feel good.
And then the other part yeah,aesthetically it makes you look
good too.
But the other pieces shouldreally really be more important
because, as we reach midlife, ifwe, if we haven't put that
(23:03):
effort in early in our, in ourtwenties, and then to then make
that change because the bodyresponds so well, we're just
designed so well.
So you know, I think that'sreally huge for me and, yes, I
have a weighted vest.
I do lots and lots of walking.
I have a nice gym that myhusband bought, a nice bench
(23:27):
with incremental weights and,you know, like the old time,
barbell weights.
So those are, those are reallyreally helpful.
Christina Smith (23:37):
I love that you say that about weight, because
so we just had the Olympics andthey lined up all the Olympian
women and it was like sure someof them have the ideal.
You know, whatever we thinkideal model body is, but most of
them don't.
I mean, they come in all shapesand sizes and you know tallness
(23:59):
and whatever Like.
It's just, it's all, you know,different.
Some are curvy, some are boxy,some like, and so just because
your body doesn't look like itdid 20 years ago it's not
supposed to it doesn't mean thatwe can't be strong and healthy
because, like you said, it'sabout prevention or even
(24:23):
lengthening the quality of ourlife.
Right, it's okay if we live along life, but I sure would
appreciate the quality of life,of being able to move and be
active, and as long as possible,not just that.
So I love that you know we canstart to look at what does
healthy look like?
Not just not just the girls inthe magazines, cause that's not
(24:46):
really.
I got to tell you, when I wasunderweight I felt sicker than I
did when I'm, when I gained theweight Like I would rather be a
few pounds over than poundsunder, because I just I have
more energy.
That way I feel, um, I justfeel healthier and I can do more
than, and I don't have to keepeating like a rabbit all day
(25:08):
because my body, my body,couldn't contain calories for
very long because I'd be burningthem off and it was just
terrible.
So I don't think, I think thatyou know, like what Melissa does
about body, body acceptanceright is really like, and I
always love the quote that saysradical transformation starts
(25:29):
with the radical acceptance ofwhat is.
It's Daniel report, um quote,because if we can accept where
we are, then we can say great, Ilove you body, I love where we
are.
And do I want to change somethings?
Do I want to be stronger?
Do I want to have more energy?
Sure, but starting withacceptance first, is that what
(25:50):
you would work with, melissa,with your clients?
Melissa Rohlfs (25:53):
Yeah, absolutely , and I think it's accepting and
acknowledging like everythingyour body does for you,
everything it's done for you,because our bodies are amazing.
I mean think of like everythingthat your body enables you to
do, it enables you to live thelife that you have, and I think
really focusing on that ispowerful.
But I think too to Dana's pointlike it's life and body and
those two are so interconnected.
(26:14):
Like our lives affect ourbodies, they affect our health.
Like you can't, you can'tseparate the two, regardless how
hard you try.
So, absolutely, I think,starting there is a great place
with the acceptance.
Christina Smith (26:24):
Beautiful.
And, miriam, I heard you saythat you're eating more protein
than ever before, which is likesomething that is just like.
And.
And when you say, like there'smore media on menopause, I'm
just like is that because it'sin my timeline, or is there
really a lot more out there?
I'm not sure, but I do.
(26:45):
I do hear a lot about like.
As we age, protein becomesreally important, so tell us a
little bit about how your dietmay have changed.
Maryam Solhjou (26:52):
Um with the protein um, you know I was
thinking is is it me that I'm inmenopause, that I'm hearing
more about it, or is therereally more?
I don't feel there's more aboutit than me.
I believe over did this wholething on on menopause.
And then you have all theseexperts now, like dr mary claire
ca, who's like promoting, likethe weighted best, and things to
do like that.
(27:13):
But you know, the higherprotein also leads to higher
cholesterol, right, so and?
But then, like right now, I'vechanged my diet a little bit.
I used to be a vegetarian, sonow I'm having more protein, but
I'm also seeing in my bloodwork that my cholesterol has has
gone up a little bit.
But that can also come with,you know, when you're in
perimenopause as well.
(27:33):
So it's like what do Iattribute this to?
And you know, what am I goingto do about it.
So that's something I'm stilllearning and playing with.
I wanted to just go back tosomething that Dana said.
One thing that I'm reallyfocusing on is, you know, I mean
, my middle has gotten bigger.
Last year, I think, I gainedlike 12 pounds.
(27:54):
It felt like overnight that mymiddle section got bigger.
Um, but what I'm learning ishow I maintain my body right now
will determine when I'm in my70s what's going to happen.
Because we hear a lot of peoplewhen they get older they have a
fall and they break somethingand then that makes them have to
(28:16):
lie in bed and then they can'tmove and it just becomes this
spiral they go down.
So what we do right now reallyimpacts um, how that, um how how
well we recover from whatever,you know, uh, falls or something
that we may have in the future.
Christina Smith (28:35):
I love that too , because my parents and my
husband's parents are like fiveyears apart, but you would
believe that they were like 20years apart, cause my mom.
So she's still a nurse in herseventies.
She works 12 hour days, she'srunning around floors, but
that's how she's been her entirelife.
So her health is so muchgreater, it seems, than his
(28:57):
parents because because she'sjust always been active and busy
and doing things, you know, andI mean she does eat pretty
healthy as well.
She's a nurse, so all of thosethings, those 12 hour days she's
been working and she enjoys it.
She wouldn't know what to dowithout a job.
She'd be confused what am Isupposed to do?
All day?
(29:17):
So she enjoys it.
But it's also kept her reallyhealthy by keeping her active.
And that's not to say thatpeople shouldn't retire, it's
just to say that she, you know,was kind of forced to do that
physical labor every day, and soit really makes a difference,
you know, and they do this allthe time on social media.
They put people up against eachother and they're like, wow,
(29:37):
they're the same age, likethat's pretty amazing.
Like some of the golden girlswere younger than some of us
when they started the goldengirls and we don't look like no
golden girls yet.
Dana Lawson (29:49):
I don't believe you know I'm sorry to make to
Miriam's point about the proteinI was a vegetarian for many
years in my um, in my early,early thirties, through my
forties.
But I did it because of weightloss I mean, it was it was.
(30:11):
I thought it would also help mebe healthier.
You know, as those changesstarted to happen in my, my late
thirties, early forties, I lostso much hair, my hair was
coming out all over the placeand sadly I didn't make the
connection that my body wassaying I need more protein, I
(30:36):
don't have enough to keep upwith your declining muscle and
keep your hair in your head.
So, um, once I learned why andI and truly it didn't begin
until I was in my, my fifties,my early fifties that I, that I
made that change and, um, it wasa, it was a huge difference and
(31:01):
I felt better, I had moreenergy, my workouts were better.
So there is a lot of researchthat's been done and evidence
that we can.
You know that backs up the factthat we need the protein to
maintain the muscle andeverything else that protein
(31:24):
does.
And while we don't want theunhealthy cholesterol to go up,
cholesterol is one of thebuilding blocks of hormones, so
we need to have the healthycholesterol in adequate amounts
and I think there's a reallygreat solution and a healthy and
(31:44):
happy balance between consuminganimal protein and still
keeping your your cholesterollevels, you know, in a healthy
range.
And it's it's all about, youknow, really getting into your
body and seeing what, what worksbest for you, because each
(32:04):
person, you know dna, theirlifestyle, all those things
genetics have have a lot to dowith.
You know, whether ourcholesterol is going to be
higher or not, um, you know inin this, in this midlife stage,
but all women will experience itbecause of the loss of estrogen
that controls how our HDLcholesterol and that's why the
(32:30):
LDL climbs so much.
Christina Smith (32:32):
And this is.
You know, vegans andvegetarians, don't come at us,
we're just giving you ourexperience.
I'm sure that there are healthyways to get enough protein as a
vegetarian or a vegan, and forme it just would take a lot more
effort, like we do meatlessmeals Absolutely, we don't do
(32:52):
meat all the time but at thesame time, um, you know, it
would take a lot more focus fromme and with my food issues.
This is the best I'm doing.
So we're not against vegans orvegetarians.
If you have a way of doing it,tell us about it.
Come, come on the show and tellus about how you're getting
enough protein, cause I don'tdoubt that it can be done.
(33:13):
It's just it's just a littlebit harder.
It's like just easy to do that.
Um, hey, high protein, gobblegobble.
Hey, high protein, gobblegobble.
All right, so one of the pillarsthat we haven't mentioned yet
that you were talking about,dana was stress management.
Oh boy, because that's the onethat's been messing me up,
(33:37):
because I can do the other threeas long as I don't have that
fourth one like looming over mewith like transitions and
changes and discomfort and allof that other stuff that goes on
in midlife, cause it's not justme moving across the country or
changing up my lifestyle, ithappens to everybody.
We're losing kids becausethey're going off into the world
, which is a good thing, butit's also a hard thing for many
(33:59):
of us.
We might be starting to carefor aging parents, we might be
having career shifts or careerthoughts that are different, we
might be in and out offriendships and wondering what
that's about.
There's so many changes thatcan happen in midlife.
So how do we?
What are some of your greattips for stress management?
(34:21):
What do we do about it?
Dana Lawson (34:22):
Well, um, for and and I don't.
I don't practice what I don'tpreach, so I'm definitely doing
these things myself.
One of the things that Iabsolutely love to do is um EFT
tapping.
So it's emotional freedomtechnique and that's a cognitive
, behavioral, you know, methodof managing your stress.
(34:44):
But it's not only stress thatit helps with, but it actually
it calms the nervous system.
Like you have a direct line toyour you know, using these
meridian points to almostcommunicate with your nervous
system to let your brain knowthat there's nothing to fear,
(35:07):
there's no danger, you're safe,and that will help lower your
cortisol levels.
It's excellent for helping todeal with trauma, heal from
traumatic experiences.
So that I love.
That's my favorite.
(35:28):
My next favorite is journaling,because I've always loved to
write and when I write down myfeelings and how I've resolved
them.
One thing about keeping notesis that I can look back at my
journal and say, wow, look howfar you've come, you know, and,
and really celebrate that winand be happy.
(35:50):
You know about where I am now.
So those are my two favoriteways of managing stress.
Um, and and I think Miriam youwere talking about you know,
like your, your like you helpwomen to thrive in their
relationships and we have lessreserve, I'll say, when it comes
(36:15):
to the challenges, and that'swhy stress hits us so hard in
perimenopause.
We don't have what we used tohave in our bodies.
You know these hormones thatare that support us when we go
through stressful times, and sonow we could be hit with the
same stress as we did when wewere 20, but now we're crumbling
at 40.
(36:35):
And and and it's because andthat's, I think, to your point,
miriam, about relationships whythey're so difficult, because of
you know what we areexperiencing, what we're going
through.
Maryam Solhjou (36:49):
I work with men and women, so for my male
clients out there, just so.
So for stress, you know itmight be because of my
background in coaching StressNow I you know it might be
because of my background incoaching I have a lot of tools
that I use for stress.
Like some of them, journalingis one of them.
(37:10):
Right, I have a couple ofprompts that I do in the evening
and a couple of prompts in themorning before I start my day.
I love Tai Chi.
That's been very helpful.
I started doing Tai Chi mainlyfor you know the breathing
techniques.
I had a hard time like doingmeditation, just sitting and
breathing.
So Tai Chi is a movingmeditation and you know, as I
(37:31):
started that I noticed, oh, thisis also actually helping my
bones and muscles because youhave to go down really slow, get
up really slow.
I do that.
I love spending time in nature,I love hiking, we love going to
the mountains, so that's reallyhelpful.
And coming back to whatChristina said about acceptance,
I think that that is has beenmy just a mental, just my
(37:57):
automatic go to.
Usually when I get there, I getthere faster nowadays.
Is that accepting right?
So, like last year when I had.
You know, all of a sudden, Ihad this weight gain around my
middle, like my clothes weren'tfitting me.
And so, melissa, I'm sure youcan speak to this and then so,
when I would go into my closet,I would look at all of these
(38:17):
clothes that no longer fit me.
And then, after a while, I'mlike look, I can't keep walking
into my closet and seeing theseclothes that no longer fit,
because I may not immediatelynotice it, but my subconscious
is noticing oh my God, none ofthis stuff fits me anymore.
So I, first of all, I gave halfmy closet away.
(38:37):
The things that I really loved,I put in a duffel bag, I put it
in the closet.
I'm giving myself like a coupleof years to see if it'll fit me
or not, and then I will donatethose clothes as well.
So, acceptance of you.
Know, I'm in a different stage,I'm in a different season of my
life.
This is what my body is goingto be like, right, for right now
, I'm going to do what I can forit, but I also don't want to.
(39:00):
I don't want to keep, I don'twant to fight it, because, first
of all, I'm setting an example,I'm modeling for my daughters.
Right.
My body is going to lookdifferent.
I am different than I was 10years ago.
So I think, acceptance of thechanges that we go through, I
think it's for me like that'slike the number one thing to
help me manage my stress Awesome.
Christina Smith (39:21):
And I loved all that that you said.
Cause EFT it helps me when I'min a hot flash, Like, even if
it's just to distract my brainand to like bring that cortisol
level down so that my heartstops doing that thing.
Um, like, whatever, I love that.
And journaling, I mean I gottatell you as much of a life coach
(39:42):
and I've told people to do it Istopped doing it for a while
and just in the last six months,as things have changed a lot in
my life, it's really beenhelpful for me to like write
down all these emotionalthoughts that I'm having and
then look at it and say, okay, Isee the uncomfortable, wounded
child voice in that, or somepeople would say victim I don't
(40:04):
like to call it victim becausethen we all get defensive but
that wounded child part of us,it's like I'm really
uncomfortable, I don't want thisto happen right now.
And then being able to step inthe more empowered part of me
and going, okay, Christina, asan adult, you're adult.
What is it that we actuallyneed out of this situation?
So both of those have beenreally helpful to me.
(40:27):
For my clients, they dovisualizations.
They love visualizationsbecause it helps them tap into
their own wisdom, rather thanlike staying focused on whatever
the discomfort is that's goingon.
And yeah, what else?
What else?
What do you do?
What do you?
How do you calm your clientsdown and get them into a calmer
(40:47):
state of mind so that they cansee the reality?
Melissa Rohlfs (40:50):
yeah, there's two things you guys didn't
mention, because everything elseI'm totally on board with um.
But one thing is the 557 breath, because it kind of links the
sympathetic nervous system andparasympathetic.
It calms the body and the braindown, because when we are
stressed and overwhelmed ourbrain might be doing one thing
and our body's doing another.
So this kind of brings themtogether and helps you calm down
.
It's free, you can do itanywhere.
(41:11):
You can do it at the grocerystore when somebody's in the
checkout, the express lane, andthey have 25 items when they're
only supposed to have 10.
But you can do the five, five,seven breath where you breathe
in for five seconds, you holdthat breath for five seconds and
then you exhale for sevenseconds.
So that's one thing I love todo.
The other thing that reallyhelps me is to make sure I have
enough time, because my stressoris being rushed.
(41:32):
So I always try to like givemyself a buffer in my schedule.
I get up before my family so Ihave alone time.
Like I think it's kind ofknowing what your triggers are,
what makes you feel stressed,and doing things to work, what
you can control in yourcircumstance to make it not
trigger you, so those are my two.
Christina Smith (41:49):
I love that.
Those are both really great too.
Thanks for making sure we gotthose in as well.
So we have come to the.
I mean, this has been such alovely conversation.
I could laugh with you ladiesall day about, you know, the
menopause, even though it's notso funny.
It is kind of funny, right.
We have to laugh at what we can, because what else can we do?
(42:09):
Cry, I guess, but it's not asmuch fun.
So now we're going to leavewith one piece of wisdom and, if
you know, share whatever it isthat you want to share about you
and your business and whateveris going on.
But I guess I would leave uswith.
What is it I wanted to leave uswith?
I felt like there was somethinga second ago that you were
(42:30):
talking about and I was like, ah, that's so good.
See, another symptom ofmenopause is I can't remember
the damn thing that it was justthere a second ago.
So with that, I'm actuallygoing to have y'all check out
first and then come back to me,and I'm sure it'll come back up.
Miriam, what's one piece ofwisdom you got.
Maryam Solhjou (42:50):
That's so funny.
I'm going through all thesechanges and I see, you know
midlifers around me goingthrough all these changes.
I think the one piece of wisdomis knowing what I have control
over and what I don't.
Yeah, and just an understandingof that.
There are certain things thatI'm not going to be, I'm not
(43:10):
going to have control over, andto have compassion for myself
and others as we're just goingthrough this, navigating this
shifting terrain.
Right, that comes with thestage.
Christina Smith (43:20):
Would you like to leave us with anything around
your business?
All of Miriam's links are below, so if you want to get in touch
with her and talk about yourrelationships and midlife and
all of that other jazz, you canget ahold of her there.
Awesome Thanks, miriam.
Thanks for being here.
Melissa Rohlfs (43:38):
Thanks for having me yeah, melissa.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingis to be curious and
compassionate with yourself.
It's really easy to maybe getdiscouraged and judge yourself
and criticize yourself and think, oh my gosh, it wasn't this way
and I'm changing, and thatdoesn't really serve anybody.
So if you can kind of replacejudgment with curiosity and
maybe start to ask why, why isthis happening?
Dana Lawson (44:20):
Why am I feeling this way?
You know, do some research,really learn to connect with
your body I think that's reallyempowering would be to get out
of your head and get into yourbody, in our heads, worrying
(44:42):
about this, what we did do, whatwe didn't do, what we should
have done, feeling guilty about,you know, things that don't
even have anything to do with usand, and you know, all of that
creates like this swirl ofthings in our heads and we
(45:08):
forget about this, thisbeautifully designed our bodies
and how our mind and body isconnected.
If we spend too much time in ourheads and less time in our body
, then I think we do becomeimpatient, less compassionate,
you know, not curious, right,melissa?
Because we're spending too muchtime in here.
If we could just be more withthis body and I think, like all
(45:35):
of us have mentioned, to be morecompassionate, to really show
appreciation for this gift andbe be grateful for what the
things that we can do, what thethings that we can change if we
want to change them, but nobodydoesn't.
You don't do any good hatingyourself on this journey.
You'll get there either way,but you'll get there a lot
(45:57):
better and a lot faster and alot more, a lot healthier
emotionally If you love what youhave and appreciate what you
have, change what you can and,and you know, just be grateful
for every.
Christina Smith (46:11):
I love that and all your links will be down
below too.
Dana's really great abouthelping women through menopause,
so if you're struggling, that'sreally a really great place for
you to find some good resources.
What I was going to say is kindof connected to all of that was
permission to slow down andpermission to cause.
That's the hard part for me islike I know I should be doing
(46:33):
like slowing down.
I know I should like like I'mhaving a hot flash.
Maybe I should just go lay downfor 10 minutes, but it's like
damn it, I'm in the middle ofsomething.
I don't want to.
I want to finish this thingright.
So and I actually wrote downpermission to slow down and tune
into your body, because I thinkthat that's we can.
We have a monkey mind and itcan make us really crazy if we
(46:54):
don't actually tune in to whatit is we want and to what
Melissa said earlier we justgrab the carbs or for me, like
the vodka, instead of going.
What is it that I'm actuallycraving right now?
What is it that I and we can'tdo that from our brains.
We have to do that in ourbodies.
Thank you all for being here.
This has been a lovelyconversation, one of my
(47:17):
favorites so far.
Don't tell the others and thankyou, audience, for all tuning
in.
We will see you again next week.
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