July 31, 2025 • 18 mins
What if your emotional triggers were your greatest teachers?
Instead of avoiding them, imagine seeing triggers as messengers from your past—pointing directly to what’s ready for healing.
We’ve all had that moment: a small comment that stings, a situation that rattles us, or someone who knows exactly how to push our buttons. These reactions aren’t really about the present—they’re echoes of old wounds, times when we didn’t feel safe, seen, or heard. When those needs go unmet, similar situations today can spark our fight-or-flight response, pulling us out of presence and into reactivity.
But here’s the opportunity: every trigger holds a doorway to transformation. By meeting them with awareness, curiosity, and practical tools, we can shift from reaction to growth. You’ll learn how to notice the signs—racing heart, shallow breath—pause to ask “What’s this really about?” and use grounding, conscious breathing, or Dr. David Hawkins’ “letting go” technique to reset your system.
In this episode, I’ll show you how to turn emotional messengers into guides toward a calmer, more magnetic way of living. Because calm isn’t just a mood—it’s a superpower.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
A trigger is a messenger from the past telling
you something is unresolved, andif there's anybody in your life
that triggers you, you reallywant to bless them and thank
them, because they're showingyou where you are unresolved and
in need of healing, and as soonas that's healed, you become
way more empowered.
Hello and welcome back to thepodcast.
(00:30):
I'm James and you're listeningto the Super Soul Model series.
In today's episode, we're goingto be talking about a subject
that is important for all of usbecause it affects every single
one of us, and whether you areleading a team of people running
your own business or you'rejust trying to stay grounded in
your own personal relationships,today's episode is all about
how to heal those things calledemotional triggers.
(00:50):
Now, triggers are those thingsthat seemingly come out of the
blue, that seem really small buthit us really hard, and it
might be a situation, a commentor a person that triggers you.
But instead of looking at thetriggers as an enemy or as a
problem, or trying to put blameon anybody else for those
(01:12):
triggers surfacing from us, thisepisode is going to bring a bit
of clarity and a bit of lightto what they actually are,
because, in truth, the triggersthat you experience are
revealing to you somethingthat's unresolved from your past
, and the best way to see themare as messengers or as teachers
about what you need to lookinto so that you can heal those
(01:35):
unresolved traumas of the past.
In this episode, I'll sharewith you why triggers are such
an important tool for your ownpersonal growth and well-being,
especially if you're a leader.
I'm going to share with you howyou can work with them rather
than against them, and you'realso going to walk away with
some practical tools andstrategies, and one of my own
personal favorites is by drdavid hawkins, who wrote a book
(01:57):
called letting go, and thistechnique is incredibly powerful
.
If you've ever felt off-centerbecause of comment, a look or a
situation and you'd like tolearn how to be composed,
empowered and conscious in asituation going forwards, then
this episode is especially foryou.
So what is a trigger?
A trigger is a messenger fromthe past telling you something
(02:20):
is unresolved, and if there'sanybody in your life that
triggers you, you really want tobless them and thank them,
because they're showing youwhere you are unresolved and in
need of healing, and as soon asthat's healed, you become way
more empowered.
But let's really look to findout what a trigger is and how it
happens in the moment.
Well, in truth, a trigger is anemotional response that's
(02:43):
actually bigger than the moment,and it's always rooted in past
pain, which has unconsciousbeliefs where its needs are not
being met, and so the nervoussystem goes into a frenzy and
goes into a fight or flight mode.
And often the types of feelingsthat come up with a triggered
moment or a triggered responseis you feel unsettled, you might
(03:06):
even want to feel like you areshutting down or there's a large
over reactivity.
So why is it so important thatyou learn how to master the
trigger response?
Well, the reason why you wantto learn how to master it is
because, whether you'reinfluencing a lot of people,
leading people, or perhapsyou're even a professional
athlete, any time that you gettriggered and you haven't dealt
(03:30):
with it, it causes disruptionand it causes you to lose the
present moment.
It causes you to only make poorchoices and poor decisions from
what's in front of you when youget triggered and, last but not
least, your communication ispoor as well.
So every time you learn anddemonstrate your ability to come
back to your center again froman emotional trigger, you're
(03:53):
actually self-regulating, whichdemonstrates great leadership
quality.
And, on top of that, you don'twant to see triggers as an enemy
.
You want to see them asinvitations, because, in truth,
triggers are mirrors, they'renot the enemy.
So why is it so important thatyou learn how to master
emotional triggers and whetheryou're influencing a lot of
(04:15):
people, you're leading people orin a business, or perhaps
you're even a professionalathlete, the reason why it's so
important is because, every timeyou get triggered, what
actually happens is you lose thepresent moment, you break that
present moment power and yougive your power away to the
certain situation or thingthat's just occurred.
And, on top of that, anydecision or choice you need to
(04:37):
make will be a poor one becauseyou're triggered, because you're
now coming from the negativeend, because there's a lot of
what I like to call red lightenergy or negative energy that's
coming into the equation, andso the communication that you
have in that moment will be pooras well, because you're not in
your center, you're off center.
So, really, the reason why youwant to master this is because
(04:58):
you demonstrate leadershipquality when you have the
ability to self-regulate.
In truth, triggers aren'tproblems, they're invitations,
they are mirrors to what'sactually going on inside of you.
So anytime a trigger presentsitself, see as an opportunity
for you to grow.
Let's look at the ways which youcan begin to heal those
(05:20):
emotional triggers when theyarise and they often arise in
the most unsuspecting, unusualmoments and maybe you're with
somebody and someone getstriggered.
This was something thathappened to me and my partner
recently and it caused a lot ofstress and a lot of pain, but
when we recognized that therewas a trigger, we were able to
(05:40):
move forwards and this was aprofound empowering moment.
You could be having this in apersonal relationship, like I
did, or you could be having itin a business, or you could be
actually having a sportingmoment where you're triggered
because someone has saidsomething and it triggers a
response that makes you loseyour center.
And I like to call this methoda three-part method for healing
(06:02):
these emotional triggers.
And the first part of themethod is the awareness having
the awareness that the triggerhas presented itself and it is a
trigger.
The second is the pause andinvitation to have a real deep
look at it.
And the third part are thepractical tools for the healing
and the self-regulation.
(06:22):
So let's look at the first part,the awareness.
So the cues that we need tounderstand about awareness is
notice the moment and how you'refeeling emotionally charged.
How are you feeling?
Are you feeling tense?
Is your heart beating reallyquickly?
Is there shallow breathing?
Say internally I'm feelingtriggered right now and it's
okay.
And when you say that toyourself, what you're doing is
(06:43):
accepting it.
You're accepting it, whichallows things to move through
you, because every time youdon't accept something, you push
away the responsibility to healand healing comes from feeling
whole, and wholeness means thatyou're a creator, not a victim,
and anytime you feel victimized,you're not taking ownership of
(07:04):
the challenge or the triggerthat's actually happening in the
moment.
So, in order to move through it, saying that I'm feeling
triggered right now and it'sokay is allowing that to just
sit with you, even if it feelsuncomfortable.
And, last but not least, thispart of the method the first
part of the awareness is to stayout the story and make zero
judgment on what's happening,even if it's uncomfortable,
(07:26):
because when we judge what'shappening, we actually slow the
energy for healing right down.
So the second part of the methodof healing your emotional
triggers is to have moments ofpause to investigate, and that
means you have a moment to lookat the situation rather than be
in it, and when we're able toseparate ourselves and look at
(07:48):
the situation of why the triggerhappens, by asking a series of
good questions, we will getanswers that will leave
breadcrumbs to our solutions andour healing.
And the first question youmight wish to ask yourself is
what's this thing really allabout anyway?
Because you might not know,because something small has
triggered your response orsomebody else's response.
(08:12):
And when you ask that, you wantto ask yourself what's this
really all about?
Because usually a lot of thechallenges that we have are
because of an emotional tone orbroadcast that we've had long
before that particular moment.
So if you haven't been feelinggreat for a week and then
suddenly something hits you andit just gets blown way out of
proportion and it's a triggeredmoment, that's because the
(08:35):
energy that you've beenbroadcasting or emanating or
feeling for a week has just hadthe straw that's broken the
camel's back and that happenedto be a triggered moment.
So by asking yourself what'sthis really all about, you're
going to gain a great deal ofclarity.
Second of all, you could askyourself where have I felt this
before?
That will leave amazing clues.
(08:56):
And has this situation oranybody mirrored back, this
feeling that I'm feeling now inanother situation?
That would give you clarity,where you've felt like that
before?
Because a triggered response iswhere you felt something where
your needs were not met in themoment, because a lot of our
core problems and challenges andwounds come from rejection and
(09:20):
abandonment.
These leave massive wounds andtriggered responses when someone
abandons us or rejects us andwe don't feel great.
So we desperately want to finda way to have control and
certainty.
But the real wounds that happenhappen when a story or a
situation has shown us thatwe're not enough, we're not safe
(09:43):
, we're not seen, we're notbeing heard, we're not being
acknowledged.
Because these are essentialparts of our own human psyche
and well-being to feel seen,heard, acknowledged which means
to be seen, heard and loved,essentially.
And when we're welcomed likethat, we feel whole, and when we
don't, we become triggered.
So taking time to have pauseand investigation by asking a
(10:07):
series of good questions willlet you know why the trigger has
happened in the first place.
So let's look at some practicaltools you can heal those
triggers with.
The first is to understandwhat's actually happening to
your nervous system.
Your nervous system has beendisrupted because you've been
triggered, which means there's astress response.
Usually, when we've got astress response from a trigger,
we begin to breathe really in ashallow manner and we can change
(10:30):
that and reset the systemreboot the system, if you will,
by changing the way we breathe,and a really simple practical
tool that you could do isbreathe in for four.
Then a really simple practicaltool that you could do is
breathe in for four, hold forfour and exhale between six and
eight seconds, and if you dothis for about five to ten
rounds, you begin to reset yournervous system, which means you
(10:54):
begin to see the green lightsagain.
That heavy stress responsebegins to dwindle.
You begin to feel in yourcenter again.
Now it's really important thatyou do this, because this
self-regulation helps you seethe green lights again Not
immediately, but it's going tobegin to regulate that nervous
system.
So breathe in for four, holdfor four and exhale between six
(11:17):
and eight seconds, however goodyour lung capacity is, because
when you exhale for longer thanyou inhale, what it's actually
doing is it's calming thenervous system and I've been
breathing and doing breathingmeditations for over 20 years
and even when I get a triggerresponse, I notice that the
breath is the first thing youneed to go to Now.
(11:38):
The second practical healingtool that you can utilize is
grounding, and grounding is justgetting a part of your body in
touch with the earth.
Maybe it's your feet on thesand, maybe you're lying down on
the sand or just walking on theearth and spending a fair
amount of time in nature,particularly exposed and
touching nature with your flesh,because what's actually
(12:01):
happening is you're picking upnegative ions, and those
negative ions is boostingserotonin and reducing cortisol.
So anytime you are immersed andcommunicating with nature, it
grounds you and brings you backto the earth element, which
means you're out of your mind,because every trigger response
is in the mind and what youactually need to do every time
(12:22):
you're triggered is come backdown into the body, and one of
the best ways you can do that isby grounding and earthing.
I recently had a challenge withmy partner, so we decided that
we'd meet at the beach.
What a wonderful place to havea healing conversation at the
beach, because we're bothgrounded.
So anytime we've had a troublein the past, we've always gone
to the beach to have aconversation and we've always
(12:44):
come out feeling better andreconnected, and so grounding
helps you get out of your headand back into your body, in
touch and in harmony with theearth again, because usually
what happens is the frequency ofyour brain when you're stressed
is different to the frequencyof the earth and that creates a
lot of stress.
And every time we come backinto nature we reconnect with
(13:05):
our true signature, our truefrequency signature, our true
frequency.
So the more time you spend innature, grounding, earthing,
being in the sea or being in theparks, it's very powerful for
you to be able to make betterchoices, lead better and make
better decisions but, moreimportantly, communicate better.
(13:26):
So grounding is a very, verypowerful way that you can begin
to heal those traumas andtriggers and see things perhaps
with a new perspective, becausegrounding essentially brings you
back into the present moment.
Now, the last but not least, andone of my favorite techniques
is from a book by Dr DavidHawkins and it's called Letting
Go.
Now, I've read this book somany times and I love to come
(13:48):
back to it because it's sopowerful and transformative and
it's a deep tool, and what itasks of you is, when any feeling
arises, such as anger, guilt,fear, shame.
What it asks you to do isaccept it, not resist it.
It asks you to just sit with it, watch it, observe it, but do
not judge it.
And what he says is, if you dothis, that emotion begins to
(14:14):
dissolve, which means it can'tcome back again.
You've dissolved it back towhere it came from.
So, wherever that story, thatfeeling that brought up that
uncomfortable feeling, it justasks you to watch it, observe it
and sit with it and eventuallyit will dissolve.
It asks you to drop any stories, any judgment, but just sit
with that uncomfortable feeling.
(14:35):
So if you're feeling anger,just let it sit there, watch it,
don't judge it, don't ask whereit came from, but just let it
and eventually it will subside.
Because he believes thatthoughts are like emotions and
waves, so that they can come inlike an ebb and they can flow
out.
But when you don't try to pushit away, it goes out naturally
(14:56):
by itself.
Dr Hawkins says it's really notabout trying to fix the trigger
or that emotion, it's just aboutreleasing resistance to it when
it arises.
And he says most people won'treally heal because most people
won't really feel fully.
So the next practical healingtool that I really enjoy is
called reframing, and reframingis just asking yourself what's
(15:18):
this trying to show me?
What do I need to learn here?
And instead of coming from avictim mentality why is this
happening to me you want to askyourself what's this actually
trying to show me?
That I haven't learned yet?
This becomes a really powerfulstage where you can turn into
the creator of your experience,rather than the reactive victim.
(15:40):
Now, what I've shared with youso far are some really powerful,
practical healing tools.
When emotional triggers come andwhen they come, they're very
overwhelming they can cause whatI call a bit of a malfunction.
Some triggers that presentthemselves actually require us
to have a great deal of space,not just introspection, because
sometimes space allows us toreset our nervous system.
(16:01):
Maybe you're going to need tosleep more, maybe you're going
to spend a lot more time innature, because self-care allows
us to come back stronger, andthe more conscious you are as a
human being when a triggerpresents itself, you're going to
be able to rewire that nervoussystem more quickly when you
notice a trigger, and this isreally powerful.
Now, I'm not asking anybody tobe perfect here, but anytime a
(16:25):
trigger comes up, what are yougoing to do about it?
Are you going to witness it orare you going to turn into the
victim?
Because this is reallyimportant Anytime a trigger
presents itself, it's anopportunity for you to grow as a
human being.
In fact, usually in loving,romantic, intimate relationships
, the triggers that arepresented from one partner to
the next are one of the greatestcallings to love, and if
(16:49):
someone's willing to do the work, you're in the right
relationship.
But if you're not, perhaps youneed to move on, because your
personal peace is so important.
And what's important aboutlearning how to master your
emotional triggers is that itactually helps you become a
calmer, more grounded humanbeing, and that's a lot of the
practical tools that we'vementioned today the grounding,
(17:11):
the breathing.
When you can become calmer, youcan lead greater and you can
lead more people by makingbetter choices and better
decision making.
And you become more magnetic,because calm is a superpower,
and you become more magnetic.
Lots of people love to hangaround calm, grounded energy,
because it feels like home.
(17:34):
So next time a trigger comes up,what are you going to do about
it and can you learn from it?
Can you learn how to reset yournervous system, and I've shared
with you all the ways you cando that today.
So I'm going to give you alittle challenge this week.
If a trigger arises, pause,breathe and do that letting go
technique by David Hawkins,which is allow the emotion to
(17:56):
come up, don't judge it, sitwith it until it dissolves by
itself.
You don't judge it, you don'tlook at it, you don't try and
play a story with it.
You just allow that feeling tocome up and let it go and let it
dissolve naturally by itself.
Because when you don't resistthat feeling, you're able to
feel more fully.
That makes you more powerful.
(18:17):
And the other thing you could dois, when a trigger comes up,
they're able to feel more fully.
That makes you more powerful.
And the other thing you coulddo is, when a trigger comes up,
they're saying what's it tryingto teach me?
What's the mirror here?
What can I learn from thisexperience?
Because this puts you back inthe driving seat of your life
rather than being reactive.
Because the more we candemonstrate that we can respond,
which is conscious, rather thanreact, which is unconscious, we
(18:38):
become more evolved humanbeings.
And the more evolved you become,the more green lights you get
to see in life, and that is whenwe create a new earth around us
and your life will be so muchmore rewarding and satisfying in
your personal relationshipsbecause you have done the work.
You have dealt with some ofthose old unconscious stories
(19:00):
that have created pain thatyou've never had a look at, and
when you actually look at themand let them go, you become way
happier.
And happiness isn't somethingthat you just have by yourself,
it's something that you sharewith others.
So anytime you've dealt withany triggers, you become a
better version of yourself.
So I hope you've enjoyed thisepisode and I hope you can take
(19:22):
away some of those practicaltools this week, because every
time you begin to work on youand improve you, you leave the
world a better place because ofyour energy.
So until the next episode, Iwish you a wonderful week ahead
and green lights all the way.
A trigger is a messenger from the past telling
you something is unresolved, andif there's anybody in your life
that triggers you, you reallywant to bless them and thank
them, because they're showingyou where you are unresolved and
in need of healing, and as soonas that's healed, you become
way more empowered.
Hello and welcome back to thepodcast.
(00:30):
I'm James and you're listeningto the Super Soul Model series.
In today's episode, we're goingto be talking about a subject
that is important for all of usbecause it affects every single
one of us, and whether you areleading a team of people running
your own business or you'rejust trying to stay grounded in
your own personal relationships,today's episode is all about
how to heal those things calledemotional triggers.
(00:50):
Now, triggers are those thingsthat seemingly come out of the
blue, that seem really small buthit us really hard, and it
might be a situation, a commentor a person that triggers you.
But instead of looking at thetriggers as an enemy or as a
problem, or trying to put blameon anybody else for those
(01:12):
triggers surfacing from us, thisepisode is going to bring a bit
of clarity and a bit of lightto what they actually are,
because, in truth, the triggersthat you experience are
revealing to you somethingthat's unresolved from your past
, and the best way to see themare as messengers or as teachers
about what you need to lookinto so that you can heal those
(01:35):
unresolved traumas of the past.
In this episode, I'll sharewith you why triggers are such
an important tool for your ownpersonal growth and well-being,
especially if you're a leader.
I'm going to share with you howyou can work with them rather
than against them, and you'realso going to walk away with
some practical tools andstrategies, and one of my own
personal favorites is by drdavid hawkins, who wrote a book
(01:57):
called letting go, and thistechnique is incredibly powerful
.
If you've ever felt off-centerbecause of comment, a look or a
situation and you'd like tolearn how to be composed,
empowered and conscious in asituation going forwards, then
this episode is especially foryou.
So what is a trigger?
A trigger is a messenger fromthe past telling you something
(02:20):
is unresolved, and if there'sanybody in your life that
triggers you, you really want tobless them and thank them,
because they're showing youwhere you are unresolved and in
need of healing, and as soon asthat's healed, you become way
more empowered.
But let's really look to findout what a trigger is and how it
happens in the moment.
Well, in truth, a trigger is anemotional response that's
(02:43):
actually bigger than the moment,and it's always rooted in past
pain, which has unconsciousbeliefs where its needs are not
being met, and so the nervoussystem goes into a frenzy and
goes into a fight or flight mode.
And often the types of feelingsthat come up with a triggered
moment or a triggered responseis you feel unsettled, you might
(03:06):
even want to feel like you areshutting down or there's a large
over reactivity.
So why is it so important thatyou learn how to master the
trigger response?
Well, the reason why you wantto learn how to master it is
because, whether you'reinfluencing a lot of people,
leading people, or perhapsyou're even a professional
athlete, any time that you gettriggered and you haven't dealt
(03:30):
with it, it causes disruptionand it causes you to lose the
present moment.
It causes you to only make poorchoices and poor decisions from
what's in front of you when youget triggered and, last but not
least, your communication ispoor as well.
So every time you learn anddemonstrate your ability to come
back to your center again froman emotional trigger, you're
(03:53):
actually self-regulating, whichdemonstrates great leadership
quality.
And, on top of that, you don'twant to see triggers as an enemy
.
You want to see them asinvitations, because, in truth,
triggers are mirrors, they'renot the enemy.
So why is it so important thatyou learn how to master
emotional triggers and whetheryou're influencing a lot of
(04:15):
people, you're leading people orin a business, or perhaps
you're even a professionalathlete, the reason why it's so
important is because, every timeyou get triggered, what
actually happens is you lose thepresent moment, you break that
present moment power and yougive your power away to the
certain situation or thingthat's just occurred.
And, on top of that, anydecision or choice you need to
(04:37):
make will be a poor one becauseyou're triggered, because you're
now coming from the negativeend, because there's a lot of
what I like to call red lightenergy or negative energy that's
coming into the equation, andso the communication that you
have in that moment will be pooras well, because you're not in
your center, you're off center.
So, really, the reason why youwant to master this is because
(04:58):
you demonstrate leadershipquality when you have the
ability to self-regulate.
In truth, triggers aren'tproblems, they're invitations,
they are mirrors to what'sactually going on inside of you.
So anytime a trigger presentsitself, see as an opportunity
for you to grow.
Let's look at the ways which youcan begin to heal those
(05:20):
emotional triggers when theyarise and they often arise in
the most unsuspecting, unusualmoments and maybe you're with
somebody and someone getstriggered.
This was something thathappened to me and my partner
recently and it caused a lot ofstress and a lot of pain, but
when we recognized that therewas a trigger, we were able to
(05:40):
move forwards and this was aprofound empowering moment.
You could be having this in apersonal relationship, like I
did, or you could be having itin a business, or you could be
actually having a sportingmoment where you're triggered
because someone has saidsomething and it triggers a
response that makes you loseyour center.
And I like to call this methoda three-part method for healing
(06:02):
these emotional triggers.
And the first part of themethod is the awareness having
the awareness that the triggerhas presented itself and it is a
trigger.
The second is the pause andinvitation to have a real deep
look at it.
And the third part are thepractical tools for the healing
and the self-regulation.
(06:22):
So let's look at the first part,the awareness.
So the cues that we need tounderstand about awareness is
notice the moment and how you'refeeling emotionally charged.
How are you feeling?
Are you feeling tense?
Is your heart beating reallyquickly?
Is there shallow breathing?
Say internally I'm feelingtriggered right now and it's
okay.
And when you say that toyourself, what you're doing is
(06:43):
accepting it.
You're accepting it, whichallows things to move through
you, because every time youdon't accept something, you push
away the responsibility to healand healing comes from feeling
whole, and wholeness means thatyou're a creator, not a victim,
and anytime you feel victimized,you're not taking ownership of
(07:04):
the challenge or the triggerthat's actually happening in the
moment.
So, in order to move through it, saying that I'm feeling
triggered right now and it'sokay is allowing that to just
sit with you, even if it feelsuncomfortable.
And, last but not least, thispart of the method the first
part of the awareness is to stayout the story and make zero
judgment on what's happening,even if it's uncomfortable,
(07:26):
because when we judge what'shappening, we actually slow the
energy for healing right down.
So the second part of the methodof healing your emotional
triggers is to have moments ofpause to investigate, and that
means you have a moment to lookat the situation rather than be
in it, and when we're able toseparate ourselves and look at
(07:48):
the situation of why the triggerhappens, by asking a series of
good questions, we will getanswers that will leave
breadcrumbs to our solutions andour healing.
And the first question youmight wish to ask yourself is
what's this thing really allabout anyway?
Because you might not know,because something small has
triggered your response orsomebody else's response.
(08:12):
And when you ask that, you wantto ask yourself what's this
really all about?
Because usually a lot of thechallenges that we have are
because of an emotional tone orbroadcast that we've had long
before that particular moment.
So if you haven't been feelinggreat for a week and then
suddenly something hits you andit just gets blown way out of
proportion and it's a triggeredmoment, that's because the
(08:35):
energy that you've beenbroadcasting or emanating or
feeling for a week has just hadthe straw that's broken the
camel's back and that happenedto be a triggered moment.
So by asking yourself what'sthis really all about, you're
going to gain a great deal ofclarity.
Second of all, you could askyourself where have I felt this
before?
That will leave amazing clues.
(08:56):
And has this situation oranybody mirrored back, this
feeling that I'm feeling now inanother situation?
That would give you clarity,where you've felt like that
before?
Because a triggered response iswhere you felt something where
your needs were not met in themoment, because a lot of our
core problems and challenges andwounds come from rejection and
(09:20):
abandonment.
These leave massive wounds andtriggered responses when someone
abandons us or rejects us andwe don't feel great.
So we desperately want to finda way to have control and
certainty.
But the real wounds that happenhappen when a story or a
situation has shown us thatwe're not enough, we're not safe
(09:43):
, we're not seen, we're notbeing heard, we're not being
acknowledged.
Because these are essentialparts of our own human psyche
and well-being to feel seen,heard, acknowledged which means
to be seen, heard and loved,essentially.
And when we're welcomed likethat, we feel whole, and when we
don't, we become triggered.
So taking time to have pauseand investigation by asking a
(10:07):
series of good questions willlet you know why the trigger has
happened in the first place.
So let's look at some practicaltools you can heal those
triggers with.
The first is to understandwhat's actually happening to
your nervous system.
Your nervous system has beendisrupted because you've been
triggered, which means there's astress response.
Usually, when we've got astress response from a trigger,
we begin to breathe really in ashallow manner and we can change
(10:30):
that and reset the systemreboot the system, if you will,
by changing the way we breathe,and a really simple practical
tool that you could do isbreathe in for four.
Then a really simple practicaltool that you could do is
breathe in for four, hold forfour and exhale between six and
eight seconds, and if you dothis for about five to ten
rounds, you begin to reset yournervous system, which means you
(10:54):
begin to see the green lightsagain.
That heavy stress responsebegins to dwindle.
You begin to feel in yourcenter again.
Now it's really important thatyou do this, because this
self-regulation helps you seethe green lights again Not
immediately, but it's going tobegin to regulate that nervous
system.
So breathe in for four, holdfor four and exhale between six
(11:17):
and eight seconds, however goodyour lung capacity is, because
when you exhale for longer thanyou inhale, what it's actually
doing is it's calming thenervous system and I've been
breathing and doing breathingmeditations for over 20 years
and even when I get a triggerresponse, I notice that the
breath is the first thing youneed to go to Now.
(11:38):
The second practical healingtool that you can utilize is
grounding, and grounding is justgetting a part of your body in
touch with the earth.
Maybe it's your feet on thesand, maybe you're lying down on
the sand or just walking on theearth and spending a fair
amount of time in nature,particularly exposed and
touching nature with your flesh,because what's actually
(12:01):
happening is you're picking upnegative ions, and those
negative ions is boostingserotonin and reducing cortisol.
So anytime you are immersed andcommunicating with nature, it
grounds you and brings you backto the earth element, which
means you're out of your mind,because every trigger response
is in the mind and what youactually need to do every time
(12:22):
you're triggered is come backdown into the body, and one of
the best ways you can do that isby grounding and earthing.
I recently had a challenge withmy partner, so we decided that
we'd meet at the beach.
What a wonderful place to havea healing conversation at the
beach, because we're bothgrounded.
So anytime we've had a troublein the past, we've always gone
to the beach to have aconversation and we've always
(12:44):
come out feeling better andreconnected, and so grounding
helps you get out of your headand back into your body, in
touch and in harmony with theearth again, because usually
what happens is the frequency ofyour brain when you're stressed
is different to the frequencyof the earth and that creates a
lot of stress.
And every time we come backinto nature we reconnect with
(13:05):
our true signature, our truefrequency signature, our true
frequency.
So the more time you spend innature, grounding, earthing,
being in the sea or being in theparks, it's very powerful for
you to be able to make betterchoices, lead better and make
better decisions but, moreimportantly, communicate better.
(13:26):
So grounding is a very, verypowerful way that you can begin
to heal those traumas andtriggers and see things perhaps
with a new perspective, becausegrounding essentially brings you
back into the present moment.
Now, the last but not least, andone of my favorite techniques
is from a book by Dr DavidHawkins and it's called Letting
Go.
Now, I've read this book somany times and I love to come
(13:48):
back to it because it's sopowerful and transformative and
it's a deep tool, and what itasks of you is, when any feeling
arises, such as anger, guilt,fear, shame.
What it asks you to do isaccept it, not resist it.
It asks you to just sit with it, watch it, observe it, but do
not judge it.
And what he says is, if you dothis, that emotion begins to
(14:14):
dissolve, which means it can'tcome back again.
You've dissolved it back towhere it came from.
So, wherever that story, thatfeeling that brought up that
uncomfortable feeling, it justasks you to watch it, observe it
and sit with it and eventuallyit will dissolve.
It asks you to drop any stories, any judgment, but just sit
with that uncomfortable feeling.
(14:35):
So if you're feeling anger,just let it sit there, watch it,
don't judge it, don't ask whereit came from, but just let it
and eventually it will subside.
Because he believes thatthoughts are like emotions and
waves, so that they can come inlike an ebb and they can flow
out.
But when you don't try to pushit away, it goes out naturally
(14:56):
by itself.
Dr Hawkins says it's really notabout trying to fix the trigger
or that emotion, it's just aboutreleasing resistance to it when
it arises.
And he says most people won'treally heal because most people
won't really feel fully.
So the next practical healingtool that I really enjoy is
called reframing, and reframingis just asking yourself what's
(15:18):
this trying to show me?
What do I need to learn here?
And instead of coming from avictim mentality why is this
happening to me you want to askyourself what's this actually
trying to show me?
That I haven't learned yet?
This becomes a really powerfulstage where you can turn into
the creator of your experience,rather than the reactive victim.
(15:40):
Now, what I've shared with youso far are some really powerful,
practical healing tools.
When emotional triggers come andwhen they come, they're very
overwhelming they can cause whatI call a bit of a malfunction.
Some triggers that presentthemselves actually require us
to have a great deal of space,not just introspection, because
sometimes space allows us toreset our nervous system.
(16:01):
Maybe you're going to need tosleep more, maybe you're going
to spend a lot more time innature, because self-care allows
us to come back stronger, andthe more conscious you are as a
human being when a triggerpresents itself, you're going to
be able to rewire that nervoussystem more quickly when you
notice a trigger, and this isreally powerful.
Now, I'm not asking anybody tobe perfect here, but anytime a
(16:25):
trigger comes up, what are yougoing to do about it?
Are you going to witness it orare you going to turn into the
victim?
Because this is reallyimportant Anytime a trigger
presents itself, it's anopportunity for you to grow as a
human being.
In fact, usually in loving,romantic, intimate relationships
, the triggers that arepresented from one partner to
the next are one of the greatestcallings to love, and if
(16:49):
someone's willing to do the work, you're in the right
relationship.
But if you're not, perhaps youneed to move on, because your
personal peace is so important.
And what's important aboutlearning how to master your
emotional triggers is that itactually helps you become a
calmer, more grounded humanbeing, and that's a lot of the
practical tools that we'vementioned today the grounding,
(17:11):
the breathing.
When you can become calmer, youcan lead greater and you can
lead more people by makingbetter choices and better
decision making.
And you become more magnetic,because calm is a superpower,
and you become more magnetic.
Lots of people love to hangaround calm, grounded energy,
because it feels like home.
(17:34):
So next time a trigger comes up,what are you going to do about
it and can you learn from it?
Can you learn how to reset yournervous system, and I've shared
with you all the ways you cando that today.
So I'm going to give you alittle challenge this week.
If a trigger arises, pause,breathe and do that letting go
technique by David Hawkins,which is allow the emotion to
(17:56):
come up, don't judge it, sitwith it until it dissolves by
itself.
You don't judge it, you don'tlook at it, you don't try and
play a story with it.
You just allow that feeling tocome up and let it go and let it
dissolve naturally by itself.
Because when you don't resistthat feeling, you're able to
feel more fully.
That makes you more powerful.
(18:17):
And the other thing you could dois, when a trigger comes up,
they're able to feel more fully.
That makes you more powerful.
And the other thing you coulddo is, when a trigger comes up,
they're saying what's it tryingto teach me?
What's the mirror here?
What can I learn from thisexperience?
Because this puts you back inthe driving seat of your life
rather than being reactive.
Because the more we candemonstrate that we can respond,
which is conscious, rather thanreact, which is unconscious, we
(18:38):
become more evolved humanbeings.
And the more evolved you become,the more green lights you get
to see in life, and that is whenwe create a new earth around us
and your life will be so muchmore rewarding and satisfying in
your personal relationshipsbecause you have done the work.
You have dealt with some ofthose old unconscious stories
(19:00):
that have created pain thatyou've never had a look at, and
when you actually look at themand let them go, you become way
happier.
And happiness isn't somethingthat you just have by yourself,
it's something that you sharewith others.
So anytime you've dealt withany triggers, you become a
better version of yourself.
So I hope you've enjoyed thisepisode and I hope you can take
(19:22):
away some of those practicaltools this week, because every
time you begin to work on youand improve you, you leave the
world a better place because ofyour energy.
So until the next episode, Iwish you a wonderful week ahead
and green lights all the way.
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