May 8, 2025 • 23 mins
What if the secret to peace wasn't in doing more, fixing more, or controlling more—but in letting go?
In this soulful episode, we explore the liberating power of surrender and the radical shift that happens when we release the need to manage every outcome and emotion.
Drawing on the empowering ideas of Abraham Hicks and Mel Robbins, I unpack why trying to control others or "get it right" is often a mask for deeper fears—and how letting things (and people) be exactly as they are could be the most powerful step toward freedom.
You'll hear a personal story from the London Underground that changed the way I see judgment forever, and we’ll explore how becoming a thermostat (not a thermometer) in life allows you to create emotional alignment regardless of circumstance.
✨ Expect soulful insights, a practical technique to transform your relationships, and one simple question that can turn tension into trust.
This week’s invitation: Practice letting life be—messy, magical, and completely out of your hands—and notice what unfolds when you do.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, this is James, and you're listening to the
James Granstrom podcast, superSoul Model Series.
What if I told you that thepiece that you're chasing isn't
found in controlling everyoneand everything, but found in
doing something completelydifferent, something very
radical?
In this episode, what we'regoing to do is we're going to
explore the powerful freedomthat comes from a really simple
(00:25):
technique that you can offerthat will stop you from blocking
the blessings in your life,blocking the miracles, blocking
the flow of life, and I knowthat this really works because
I've tried it on myself so manytimes and I've noticed how my
life has improved significantlyjust because of releasing the
need and letting it be, as theBeatles would say.
(00:47):
And whilst I've done otherepisodes, like interviewing Cute
Blackson on the Magic and Powerof Surrender, and I did another
episode on acceptance, thisepisode is going to give you a
technique that's slightly basedon something from Abraham Hicks,
which is not needing toconvince people of everything,
(01:07):
and Mel Robbins, who hasrecently written a book called
the Let them Theory, and I'minfusing these two ideas and
wanting to give you a reallysimple recipe that you can apply
every single day, in everymoment where you feel like
you're trying to control Becausein reality, like you're trying
to control, because in reality,when we're trying to control
something, it's because there'sa deeper feeling of insecurity
(01:32):
within us and usually it stemsfrom a childhood, because we
don't want to feel embarrassedif that person behaves that way
and they're our family member,so we try and control them.
We can try and control ourmothers if they start to get out
of hand, or your parents ifthey start to get out of hand,
or you try and talk differentlyto make them look better than
they are.
So the real reason we try tocontrol things and people and
(01:55):
events is to stop us feelingthose really lower emotions, and
those lower emotions take ourvibration right down and they're
things such as shame and guiltand embarrassment and all of
those type of lower emotions.
So one way we free ourselves upfrom that is to actually let
things be and let people be.
And whilst this idea seemsreally simple which it is it's a
(02:20):
radical change on perhaps whatyou've been doing, which is
trying to control everybody andeverything.
I know I've been trying tocontrol my mother not to behave
in certain ways.
It has been embarrassing myentire life because my mother
was really outgoing the wholetime and we're like, oh, please,
don't make so much noise.
But I actually found that whenI just let her be as she was and
(02:43):
I just accepted that that's howshe was, I stopped pushing
against that energy of feelingembarrassed and I started to
feel freer, I started to havemore energy, I started to accept
that's just the way she is andthat's the way she likes to
behave, and while she's quietand down these days, it's really
funny if you can look into yourown experiences.
(03:05):
Who in your family or yourfriendships have you been trying
to control and let them be?
We're going to find greaterpeace and greater energy, but,
more importantly, you're goingto find a lot more clarity.
So there's a moment in life thathappens when you stop trying to
prove, you stop trying to fixand you stop trying to convince
people of anything, and that isa freedom and a power that comes
(03:28):
from that.
And so, wherever you are onyour journey, how important is
it for you to prove yourself,your worthiness to the world?
Because usually, when you'retrying to prove yourself
desperately to the world, it'sbecause you don't feel good
enough inside.
Trying to prove yourselfdesperately to the world is
because you don't feel goodenough inside and, whilst it's
really really good to feelrecognized and feel successful
(03:49):
and happy and proud of yourself,the desperate need to prove and
convince people of somethingthat you know now that's
actually holding you back,that's actually blocking your
blessings.
Because when you're trying toconvince someone of something,
usually that happens in a debate, if you see it.
Because when you're trying toconvince someone of something,
usually that happens in a debate, if you see it, in parliament,
you've seen people fight it outin those debates and they try to
(04:11):
beat each other, or atelections in one way or another.
Just trying to convince peopleof something is such a heavy
amount of resistant energy andit's usually the one that
believes more is the one thatwins, but it doesn't mean that
they don't hold a significantamount of resistance in their
energy.
So you start to feel lighter,freer, happier, more peaceful
(04:35):
when you let people be and youlet things be.
All we're going to do in thisepisode is be really, really
clear about how you can applythis wisdom so that you feel
lighter and free when challengesappear, because they're going
to appear and they're going toappear every day and if you can
just apply this wisdom, you'regoing to feel so much better,
(04:57):
and I've witnessed it in my ownlife.
I've watched my clients havetheir own experiences and feel
so much better when they've justlet things be, even if they've
been desperate to try andcontrol them.
Don't believe me, get your ownexperience and apply the wisdom
that is imbued in this episodethat I'm going to share with you
so that you can feel so muchbetter.
(05:17):
A story of mine that takes meback to applying this letting it
be and letting them be remindsme of my childhood, because I
remember I used to fight so muchwith my sibling, and now we get
on and it's absolutely amazing.
But when I cast my mind back tothat, it was very, very
difficult because we were attenterhooks against one another.
(05:40):
We were like locking horns theentire time.
It it's a typical siblingrivalry, and the world is made
better off when one personchooses peace versus the other.
And in my case, I just didn'tlike that feeling that I had
every single day of trying tofight.
And when I just went, do youknow what?
I'm just going to just let thembe.
I'm just going to accept themfor who they are.
(06:02):
I'm just going to love them asthey are, not as I want them to
be.
That's when things changed, andso when I applied that, I
applied it to so many otherthings.
Like other family members, I'mjust going to love them as they
are not as I wish them to be.
So with that, I just began toapply that to literally
(06:22):
everything, and it's such a nicereminder not only to share this
episode, but to think do youknow what?
I've got to apply this to morethings?
I love this quote by AbrahamHicks because it really sums it
up your job is not tomicromanage the universe.
Your job is to stop pushingagainst what's currently
happening, or stop pushingagainst the current, if we're
(06:43):
looking at it like, energy is ariver, so you can just allow it
to flow.
This is a really beautifulanalogy, but is it practical?
And you've got to just rememberthis?
Control is a form of fear, andwhen we're trying to control
others or control circumstances,what we're actually trying to
do is we're trying to feel safe,and we'll do anything we can to
(07:04):
feel safe, and particularlywhen there's challenges that are
way out of your control, yourjob is to try and feel safe, and
that's a natural thing.
However, if you're trying tomanipulate people to behaving a
certain way, so that you can getsomething that's a form of fear
underneath there, because deepdown inside you have a scar or a
(07:25):
trauma that's unresolved, whichis I can't trust life yet.
And that is where thisbeautiful wisdom comes in, which
is, if you can let things be,and you can let them be, then
life will bring you somethingeven more beautiful, because as
soon as you can accept what'shappening, you start to diffuse
(07:47):
the resistance that's alreadythere.
So ask yourself this just as alittle bit of a reflection who
or what are you trying to changeright now, and what do you
think will happen if you stop?
Just pause and reflect on that,because if you stop, does that
mean you stopped your ability tomanage the situation, yes or no
(08:09):
?
This is really powerful becauseif we can just let it be, what
will happen on the other end ofthat?
Or if we only just staycompletely locked in?
And they need to change, not us, but that's not how life works.
Life doesn't work better.
Only when they change will Ifeel better.
Life changes when I look at itdifferently and I feel better.
(08:32):
Then things begin to change.
You can't change the mirror.
You've got to change and shiftthe version of yourself looking
at the mirror.
Letting go doesn't mean you'velost control or stopped caring.
It just means that you're goingto trust a larger force,
greater than your own, is takingcare of it.
(08:53):
I want to share a story aboutsomething that rattled me
several years ago when I was inthe underground late at night,
and it was the first call ofunderstanding.
When you're projecting energyon other people and it's
negative and it's a wonderfulfeedback to go I'm not letting
that person be as they are.
(09:14):
I'm not loving them as they areeither.
What late one night was in theunderground.
I was walking up the escalatorsand I saw a guy just a homeless
guy with his dog, and they wereboth in really poor condition.
The dog didn't look well andnor did he, and I remember
looking and projecting you knownegativity on that person,
thinking oh, I can't believeyou've got your life in that
(09:36):
type of state.
And he shouted at me in thisecho that I'll never forget,
because it just reminded me tobecome more aware of my own
thinking, of what I was doing,and he said don't pity me.
Don't pity me.
And whilst this is a positivepodcast and whilst this is
always trying to show you howyou can find greater peace and
(09:58):
wellness.
You have to remember thatprojecting what you think is
right on somebody isn'tnecessarily correct, because
projection is a form of what youthink life should be rather
than what somebody else, and wenever can truly connect with who
we are if we're judging otherpeople.
(10:19):
So to be free from judgmentactually keeps your vibration
high, actually keeps youstarting to see more green
lights in your life, helps yousleep better.
But if you're constantlyjudging or trying to manipulate
or control other people tobehave and be a certain way,
only when they behave a certainway or be a certain way will I
(10:39):
feel better, because when I lookat them then I can feel better.
But that's not how life works.
Life has got a plethora ofcolors, both bright and dark,
and ultimately we have torecognize that we are the full
spectrum.
But it's up to us how we chooseto focus, and that focus is
(11:00):
truly dependent on our awarenessand our consciousness.
So if you really want your lifeto be better, omit the judgment
from your day to day life asmuch as you possibly can, but
try and give yourself anafternoon of not judging anybody
or anything and see how you geton and if you do well, do a day
, and if you can do well, do twodays.
But every time you're judgingsomebody for not being better
(11:23):
than what they're currentlydoing or not behaving in a
certain way or have not figuredout life yet, and where you may
have, what you're actually doingis not helping them and what
you're doing is not helpingyourself.
And when you're trying toconvince the world to be
different than it is, thenultimately you lose your power
and you lose your center.
(11:43):
So letting go doesn't mean youstop caring, and non-judgment
doesn't mean you stop caring.
In fact, if anything, it meansyou really care and it just
means that you're just nottrying to control every outcome
and wanting life to beabsolutely perfect the whole
time, because life isn't perfect.
And if you're listening to this,you would recognize that your
(12:05):
life has shown you manydifficulties and adversities,
some of which you manage welland some perhaps that you're
still learning how to manage.
So if you can let people be asthey are and love them as they
are, even if that's really hard,that's the first sign that
you're on the road to personalpeace, because world peace can't
exist without personal peacefirst.
(12:27):
And if you get a few peopletaking care of their own
personal welfare, their ownpersonal peace, that creates
this beautiful ripple effectacross the planet.
That's what this whole episodeand show is all about.
Also, when you're trying to getother people to change and
behave differently so that youdon't feel bad, so you don't
(12:47):
feel guilt or shame orembarrassed or any of those
lower emotions, what you'reactually doing is not addressing
your own internal work.
So when I cast my mind back tothat projection of negativity on
the homeless guy with his dog,what I recognized is that I
(13:07):
wasn't really paying attentionto my internal compass.
I hadn't paid attention that Ineeded to look at life through a
more peaceful lens.
I was a bit too high and mightythinking, oh yeah, I figured
certain things out, but actuallythat wasn't true at that time.
And it takes sometimes a verydifficult episode for you to
(13:29):
really find personal peace.
So when you can let people bejust remember people are mirrors
you know the way you feel willbe responded back to you.
So if something challenginghappens to you, can you just let
that be as it is?
And if you can't, then you haveto look at yourself.
The higher frequency you becomeas a human being.
(13:51):
The more peace you feel, themore powerful you feel is
because you're not reacting, youare responding.
This is way more powerful.
Sometimes it's great to have alot of silence before answering
something.
If you've been challenged, Isometimes love to sleep on
things before I actually getback to somebody.
If I've been challenged with aconversation or I'm really
(14:12):
thinking about it, I allow spacein my heart and mind to really
be present so I can think aboutresponding with a sense of
integrity and a sense ofself-respect as well.
But if you're knee-jerkreacting, what you're actually
doing is you're just blastingback negative energy that may
have come to you.
(14:33):
So the concept here is be athermostat, not a thermometer,
and when you're a thermostatyou're setting the tone.
But when you're a thermometer,you're just reacting to the heat
that might come at you.
So be that thermostat and justset that current tone and set
that tone of peace, set thattone of well-being wherever you
(14:55):
go.
And one of the things I love todo is particularly when it's
really difficult is even ifsomeone's challenged you or
you've been let go fromsomething, from a job, and you
really wanted that job, but yougot let go and you're furious
with your boss because theymistreated you.
Instead of being a victim, playthe card.
I can just let that be as it is, because if I can let that be,
(15:18):
maybe I'm made for somethingeven better.
Maybe there's something waybetter down the road that I
can't yet see.
This builds trust in your life,and trust is really the
undercurrent of this entiresystem of wisdom of letting it
be and letting people be.
And building trust takes timebecause there's this universal
(15:41):
force working for you which istaking care of everything for us
on planet earth.
But if you're not trusting howlife is unfolding and it's got
you this far, then how Are yougoing to be able to live your
dream life and manifest yourbest life if you can't trust
that life isn't always astraight road?
(16:03):
The next time you're triggered,just ask this what if I could
just let them be as they are?
What if I could just let thissituation be as it is Imperfect,
not great, messy.
But what if I could just let itbe?
You know, years ago I had a carcrash and I walked away pretty
much unscathed and I'd left areal mess behind, but
fortunately no one had died.
(16:25):
But you know, a lot of peoplecould have been in critical
condition, including myself andmy friend, but we were okay and
I remember looking at thesituation totally imperfect,
totally messy.
There was one bit of wisdom thatcame from all that mess, which
is what if I could just acceptthis mess as it is?
And if I could just accept thismess as it is and let it unfold
(16:49):
?
What if something great happensas a result?
And I remember my young mindthinking that and that's what
led me to a journey of spiritualawakening, and sometimes it
takes really critical conditionsfor us to awaken out of the
suffering of victimhood.
And if you're feeling like avictim right now, if you're
(17:12):
feeling like you're replayingstories of victimhood, you've
got to stop that and justreplace that story with.
You know what if this issetting me up for something
better?
What if I could just allowpeople to be in these
circumstances, to be and trustthat something better will
unfold?
But again, you have to haveyour own experience to really
(17:32):
understand and appreciate thepower of letting people be and
letting things be and trustingsomething better will replace,
because only insecurity is themain culprit here and it's your
insecurity that you have toeventually let go of, to turn it
into trust.
So letting life be just meanstrusting the unfoldment, that
(17:55):
life has got this for you, thatthat the universe has got your
back.
You don't have to like whatcircumstances show up, but you
can learn from them.
That's really powerful.
You know, I've always said thatall the crap in life, all the
manure, is like fertilizer forthe roses.
It's like fertilizer forsomething so much better coming
(18:17):
forward at perhaps a later date,a future now that you'll walk
into.
You know, life is alwaysconspiring in your favor, but it
won't conspire in your favor ifyou've only got a negative
outlook.
And even if you've got anegative outlook, it's still
trying to help you.
And it's only when you changethe way you look at things that
things that you look at begin tochange.
(18:38):
This max plank said that inquantum physics and I love that
because it's just basically likesaying when you change the way
you look at yourself in themirror, the mirror just reflects
back who you are.
And if you're appreciatingyourself, then that's what the
mirror is going to reflect back.
And if you're appreciating andaccepting and loving other
people as they are, not as youwish them to be, now there's a
(19:00):
freedom.
That's the mirror reflectingback from life.
There's a deep intelligence inthis surrender and when you let
go, you don't actually fall, youfloat, and I love that because
you're not sinking with heavyresistance, which usually what
happens, and you can't see greenlights when there's lots of
(19:21):
resistance.
I've noticed this time and timeagain in my experience.
I sometimes think of myself asI'm the guy who's made pretty
much most of the mistakes andeven though I'm not proud of the
mistakes I've made, at leastthey've shown me a different
path, because I've been on ajourney for myself to be able to
really understand life.
And if you can reallyunderstand life, you recognize
(19:44):
that it's you kind of runningthe show and it's all dependent
about your perspective and theway you feel on a
moment-to-moment basis.
So this week I'm going to giveyou a little exercise.
Ask yourself when a challengepresents itself, can you let
that circumstance be as it isimperfect, perhaps frustrating,
(20:05):
perhaps challenging but justwatch the peace you feel.
If you can just let that be andlet them be.
Just notice, just witness inyour body the emotions that come
up, because if you start tofeel lighter, then you'll notice
this process is actuallyworking.
And I love this little mantrathat you can always use.
What if everything is alwaysworking out for me, no matter
(20:28):
how it seems?
This actually starts to buildtrust in your system, in your
nervous system.
This was something I went tostraight away, because if you
don't feel that things areworking out for you or that
things aren't working in yournervous system, this was
something I went to straightaway, because if you don't feel
that things are working out foryou or that things aren't
working in your favor, thenyou've got to ask the question
well, what, what if it could?
Because this actually changesthe dynamic.
(20:50):
The amount of times that I'vebeen driving to a destination
and I've just said to myself,well, wouldn't it be nice?
Or what if I had a reallysmooth journey and there were
green lights the whole way, theamount of times I have seen
green lights the entire way, hashelped me build this form of
trust with myself and life inthe external world.
(21:12):
It's amazing to witness in yourown experience and awareness
where you're going.
Actually, life is trying tohelp me and if I can let go and
let people be, and I can trustthat things are working out in
my favor, I'm going to buildthis amazing relationship and I
recognize that when there's atime to actually surrender to
challenges and let life comeversus do something about it.
(21:36):
And this is a proactive approachof working in harmony.
You have to have both the yinand yang of life.
Sometimes the yin of life is tosurrender to the moment and let
people be, and sometimes theyang of life is to go after it.
Remember this letting godoesn't mean you've lost.
It just means you'resurrendering to certain outcomes
(21:57):
being the way you wish them tobe rather than the way they
perhaps are.
Letting go doesn't mean youlost.
It just means you're free fromresistance and pain.
And remember this you can'thelp heal people by carrying
their baggage.
You just have to let them be aswell.
And the most powerful energy isjust applying stillness in your
(22:17):
life, because stillness breedsmore peace and to enjoy life at
a greater level, happiness comeswhen you're feeling greater
peace with inside.
So take some of these ideastoday, apply them, use them in
your week and notice whenchallenges arise, which they
will.
Can you let them be?
Can you let people be?
(22:38):
Can you let that circumstancebe, even though it's causing you
some sort of pain?
But if you can let that betotally imperfect, then notice
the freedom that comes on theother end of it might not come
immediately, but it will come,because surrendering is just
releasing resistance, and whenyou release resistance, your
(22:59):
energy rises.
And when your energy rises, yousee more resistance.
And when you release resistance, your energy rises.
And when your energy rises, yousee more green lights.
And when you see more greenlights, you know that you're in
a wonderful place for attractingand manifesting your best life.
Thanks for watching.
I hope you've enjoyed theepisode and, if you've liked it,
please share it with someonewho you think will really
benefit, because sharing thismessage allows people to
(23:20):
increase their own energy, theirown vitality, increase their
own peace and manifest theirbest life.
Until the next time, I wish youa wonderful week ahead and
green lights all the way.
Hello, this is James, and you're listening to the
James Granstrom podcast, superSoul Model Series.
What if I told you that thepiece that you're chasing isn't
found in controlling everyoneand everything, but found in
doing something completelydifferent, something very
radical?
In this episode, what we'regoing to do is we're going to
explore the powerful freedomthat comes from a really simple
(00:25):
technique that you can offerthat will stop you from blocking
the blessings in your life,blocking the miracles, blocking
the flow of life, and I knowthat this really works because
I've tried it on myself so manytimes and I've noticed how my
life has improved significantlyjust because of releasing the
need and letting it be, as theBeatles would say.
(00:47):
And whilst I've done otherepisodes, like interviewing Cute
Blackson on the Magic and Powerof Surrender, and I did another
episode on acceptance, thisepisode is going to give you a
technique that's slightly basedon something from Abraham Hicks,
which is not needing toconvince people of everything,
(01:07):
and Mel Robbins, who hasrecently written a book called
the Let them Theory, and I'minfusing these two ideas and
wanting to give you a reallysimple recipe that you can apply
every single day, in everymoment where you feel like
you're trying to control Becausein reality, like you're trying
to control, because in reality,when we're trying to control
something, it's because there'sa deeper feeling of insecurity
(01:32):
within us and usually it stemsfrom a childhood, because we
don't want to feel embarrassedif that person behaves that way
and they're our family member,so we try and control them.
We can try and control ourmothers if they start to get out
of hand, or your parents ifthey start to get out of hand,
or you try and talk differentlyto make them look better than
they are.
So the real reason we try tocontrol things and people and
(01:55):
events is to stop us feelingthose really lower emotions, and
those lower emotions take ourvibration right down and they're
things such as shame and guiltand embarrassment and all of
those type of lower emotions.
So one way we free ourselves upfrom that is to actually let
things be and let people be.
And whilst this idea seemsreally simple which it is it's a
(02:20):
radical change on perhaps whatyou've been doing, which is
trying to control everybody andeverything.
I know I've been trying tocontrol my mother not to behave
in certain ways.
It has been embarrassing myentire life because my mother
was really outgoing the wholetime and we're like, oh, please,
don't make so much noise.
But I actually found that whenI just let her be as she was and
(02:43):
I just accepted that that's howshe was, I stopped pushing
against that energy of feelingembarrassed and I started to
feel freer, I started to havemore energy, I started to accept
that's just the way she is andthat's the way she likes to
behave, and while she's quietand down these days, it's really
funny if you can look into yourown experiences.
(03:05):
Who in your family or yourfriendships have you been trying
to control and let them be?
We're going to find greaterpeace and greater energy, but,
more importantly, you're goingto find a lot more clarity.
So there's a moment in life thathappens when you stop trying to
prove, you stop trying to fixand you stop trying to convince
people of anything, and that isa freedom and a power that comes
(03:28):
from that.
And so, wherever you are onyour journey, how important is
it for you to prove yourself,your worthiness to the world?
Because usually, when you'retrying to prove yourself
desperately to the world, it'sbecause you don't feel good
enough inside.
Trying to prove yourselfdesperately to the world is
because you don't feel goodenough inside and, whilst it's
really really good to feelrecognized and feel successful
(03:49):
and happy and proud of yourself,the desperate need to prove and
convince people of somethingthat you know now that's
actually holding you back,that's actually blocking your
blessings.
Because when you're trying toconvince someone of something,
usually that happens in a debate, if you see it.
Because when you're trying toconvince someone of something,
usually that happens in a debate, if you see it, in parliament,
you've seen people fight it outin those debates and they try to
(04:11):
beat each other, or atelections in one way or another.
Just trying to convince peopleof something is such a heavy
amount of resistant energy andit's usually the one that
believes more is the one thatwins, but it doesn't mean that
they don't hold a significantamount of resistance in their
energy.
So you start to feel lighter,freer, happier, more peaceful
(04:35):
when you let people be and youlet things be.
All we're going to do in thisepisode is be really, really
clear about how you can applythis wisdom so that you feel
lighter and free when challengesappear, because they're going
to appear and they're going toappear every day and if you can
just apply this wisdom, you'regoing to feel so much better,
(04:57):
and I've witnessed it in my ownlife.
I've watched my clients havetheir own experiences and feel
so much better when they've justlet things be, even if they've
been desperate to try andcontrol them.
Don't believe me, get your ownexperience and apply the wisdom
that is imbued in this episodethat I'm going to share with you
so that you can feel so muchbetter.
(05:17):
A story of mine that takes meback to applying this letting it
be and letting them be remindsme of my childhood, because I
remember I used to fight so muchwith my sibling, and now we get
on and it's absolutely amazing.
But when I cast my mind back tothat, it was very, very
difficult because we were attenterhooks against one another.
(05:40):
We were like locking horns theentire time.
It it's a typical siblingrivalry, and the world is made
better off when one personchooses peace versus the other.
And in my case, I just didn'tlike that feeling that I had
every single day of trying tofight.
And when I just went, do youknow what?
I'm just going to just let thembe.
I'm just going to accept themfor who they are.
(06:02):
I'm just going to love them asthey are, not as I want them to
be.
That's when things changed, andso when I applied that, I
applied it to so many otherthings.
Like other family members, I'mjust going to love them as they
are not as I wish them to be.
So with that, I just began toapply that to literally
(06:22):
everything, and it's such a nicereminder not only to share this
episode, but to think do youknow what?
I've got to apply this to morethings?
I love this quote by AbrahamHicks because it really sums it
up your job is not tomicromanage the universe.
Your job is to stop pushingagainst what's currently
happening, or stop pushingagainst the current, if we're
(06:43):
looking at it like, energy is ariver, so you can just allow it
to flow.
This is a really beautifulanalogy, but is it practical?
And you've got to just rememberthis?
Control is a form of fear, andwhen we're trying to control
others or control circumstances,what we're actually trying to
do is we're trying to feel safe,and we'll do anything we can to
(07:04):
feel safe, and particularlywhen there's challenges that are
way out of your control, yourjob is to try and feel safe, and
that's a natural thing.
However, if you're trying tomanipulate people to behaving a
certain way, so that you can getsomething that's a form of fear
underneath there, because deepdown inside you have a scar or a
(07:25):
trauma that's unresolved, whichis I can't trust life yet.
And that is where thisbeautiful wisdom comes in, which
is, if you can let things be,and you can let them be, then
life will bring you somethingeven more beautiful, because as
soon as you can accept what'shappening, you start to diffuse
(07:47):
the resistance that's alreadythere.
So ask yourself this just as alittle bit of a reflection who
or what are you trying to changeright now, and what do you
think will happen if you stop?
Just pause and reflect on that,because if you stop, does that
mean you stopped your ability tomanage the situation, yes or no
(08:09):
?
This is really powerful becauseif we can just let it be, what
will happen on the other end ofthat?
Or if we only just staycompletely locked in?
And they need to change, not us, but that's not how life works.
Life doesn't work better.
Only when they change will Ifeel better.
Life changes when I look at itdifferently and I feel better.
(08:32):
Then things begin to change.
You can't change the mirror.
You've got to change and shiftthe version of yourself looking
at the mirror.
Letting go doesn't mean you'velost control or stopped caring.
It just means that you're goingto trust a larger force,
greater than your own, is takingcare of it.
(08:53):
I want to share a story aboutsomething that rattled me
several years ago when I was inthe underground late at night,
and it was the first call ofunderstanding.
When you're projecting energyon other people and it's
negative and it's a wonderfulfeedback to go I'm not letting
that person be as they are.
(09:14):
I'm not loving them as they areeither.
What late one night was in theunderground.
I was walking up the escalatorsand I saw a guy just a homeless
guy with his dog, and they wereboth in really poor condition.
The dog didn't look well andnor did he, and I remember
looking and projecting you knownegativity on that person,
thinking oh, I can't believeyou've got your life in that
(09:36):
type of state.
And he shouted at me in thisecho that I'll never forget,
because it just reminded me tobecome more aware of my own
thinking, of what I was doing,and he said don't pity me.
Don't pity me.
And whilst this is a positivepodcast and whilst this is
always trying to show you howyou can find greater peace and
(09:58):
wellness.
You have to remember thatprojecting what you think is
right on somebody isn'tnecessarily correct, because
projection is a form of what youthink life should be rather
than what somebody else, and wenever can truly connect with who
we are if we're judging otherpeople.
(10:19):
So to be free from judgmentactually keeps your vibration
high, actually keeps youstarting to see more green
lights in your life, helps yousleep better.
But if you're constantlyjudging or trying to manipulate
or control other people tobehave and be a certain way,
only when they behave a certainway or be a certain way will I
(10:39):
feel better, because when I lookat them then I can feel better.
But that's not how life works.
Life has got a plethora ofcolors, both bright and dark,
and ultimately we have torecognize that we are the full
spectrum.
But it's up to us how we chooseto focus, and that focus is
(11:00):
truly dependent on our awarenessand our consciousness.
So if you really want your lifeto be better, omit the judgment
from your day to day life asmuch as you possibly can, but
try and give yourself anafternoon of not judging anybody
or anything and see how you geton and if you do well, do a day
, and if you can do well, do twodays.
But every time you're judgingsomebody for not being better
(11:23):
than what they're currentlydoing or not behaving in a
certain way or have not figuredout life yet, and where you may
have, what you're actually doingis not helping them and what
you're doing is not helpingyourself.
And when you're trying toconvince the world to be
different than it is, thenultimately you lose your power
and you lose your center.
(11:43):
So letting go doesn't mean youstop caring, and non-judgment
doesn't mean you stop caring.
In fact, if anything, it meansyou really care and it just
means that you're just nottrying to control every outcome
and wanting life to beabsolutely perfect the whole
time, because life isn't perfect.
And if you're listening to this,you would recognize that your
(12:05):
life has shown you manydifficulties and adversities,
some of which you manage welland some perhaps that you're
still learning how to manage.
So if you can let people be asthey are and love them as they
are, even if that's really hard,that's the first sign that
you're on the road to personalpeace, because world peace can't
exist without personal peacefirst.
(12:27):
And if you get a few peopletaking care of their own
personal welfare, their ownpersonal peace, that creates
this beautiful ripple effectacross the planet.
That's what this whole episodeand show is all about.
Also, when you're trying to getother people to change and
behave differently so that youdon't feel bad, so you don't
(12:47):
feel guilt or shame orembarrassed or any of those
lower emotions, what you'reactually doing is not addressing
your own internal work.
So when I cast my mind back tothat projection of negativity on
the homeless guy with his dog,what I recognized is that I
(13:07):
wasn't really paying attentionto my internal compass.
I hadn't paid attention that Ineeded to look at life through a
more peaceful lens.
I was a bit too high and mightythinking, oh yeah, I figured
certain things out, but actuallythat wasn't true at that time.
And it takes sometimes a verydifficult episode for you to
(13:29):
really find personal peace.
So when you can let people bejust remember people are mirrors
you know the way you feel willbe responded back to you.
So if something challenginghappens to you, can you just let
that be as it is?
And if you can't, then you haveto look at yourself.
The higher frequency you becomeas a human being.
(13:51):
The more peace you feel, themore powerful you feel is
because you're not reacting, youare responding.
This is way more powerful.
Sometimes it's great to have alot of silence before answering
something.
If you've been challenged, Isometimes love to sleep on
things before I actually getback to somebody.
If I've been challenged with aconversation or I'm really
(14:12):
thinking about it, I allow spacein my heart and mind to really
be present so I can think aboutresponding with a sense of
integrity and a sense ofself-respect as well.
But if you're knee-jerkreacting, what you're actually
doing is you're just blastingback negative energy that may
have come to you.
(14:33):
So the concept here is be athermostat, not a thermometer,
and when you're a thermostatyou're setting the tone.
But when you're a thermometer,you're just reacting to the heat
that might come at you.
So be that thermostat and justset that current tone and set
that tone of peace, set thattone of well-being wherever you
(14:55):
go.
And one of the things I love todo is particularly when it's
really difficult is even ifsomeone's challenged you or
you've been let go fromsomething, from a job, and you
really wanted that job, but yougot let go and you're furious
with your boss because theymistreated you.
Instead of being a victim, playthe card.
I can just let that be as it is, because if I can let that be,
(15:18):
maybe I'm made for somethingeven better.
Maybe there's something waybetter down the road that I
can't yet see.
This builds trust in your life,and trust is really the
undercurrent of this entiresystem of wisdom of letting it
be and letting people be.
And building trust takes timebecause there's this universal
(15:41):
force working for you which istaking care of everything for us
on planet earth.
But if you're not trusting howlife is unfolding and it's got
you this far, then how Are yougoing to be able to live your
dream life and manifest yourbest life if you can't trust
that life isn't always astraight road?
(16:03):
The next time you're triggered,just ask this what if I could
just let them be as they are?
What if I could just let thissituation be as it is Imperfect,
not great, messy.
But what if I could just let itbe?
You know, years ago I had a carcrash and I walked away pretty
much unscathed and I'd left areal mess behind, but
fortunately no one had died.
(16:25):
But you know, a lot of peoplecould have been in critical
condition, including myself andmy friend, but we were okay and
I remember looking at thesituation totally imperfect,
totally messy.
There was one bit of wisdom thatcame from all that mess, which
is what if I could just acceptthis mess as it is?
And if I could just accept thismess as it is and let it unfold
(16:49):
?
What if something great happensas a result?
And I remember my young mindthinking that and that's what
led me to a journey of spiritualawakening, and sometimes it
takes really critical conditionsfor us to awaken out of the
suffering of victimhood.
And if you're feeling like avictim right now, if you're
(17:12):
feeling like you're replayingstories of victimhood, you've
got to stop that and justreplace that story with.
You know what if this issetting me up for something
better?
What if I could just allowpeople to be in these
circumstances, to be and trustthat something better will
unfold?
But again, you have to haveyour own experience to really
(17:32):
understand and appreciate thepower of letting people be and
letting things be and trustingsomething better will replace,
because only insecurity is themain culprit here and it's your
insecurity that you have toeventually let go of, to turn it
into trust.
So letting life be just meanstrusting the unfoldment, that
(17:55):
life has got this for you, thatthat the universe has got your
back.
You don't have to like whatcircumstances show up, but you
can learn from them.
That's really powerful.
You know, I've always said thatall the crap in life, all the
manure, is like fertilizer forthe roses.
It's like fertilizer forsomething so much better coming
(18:17):
forward at perhaps a later date,a future now that you'll walk
into.
You know, life is alwaysconspiring in your favor, but it
won't conspire in your favor ifyou've only got a negative
outlook.
And even if you've got anegative outlook, it's still
trying to help you.
And it's only when you changethe way you look at things that
things that you look at begin tochange.
(18:38):
This max plank said that inquantum physics and I love that
because it's just basically likesaying when you change the way
you look at yourself in themirror, the mirror just reflects
back who you are.
And if you're appreciatingyourself, then that's what the
mirror is going to reflect back.
And if you're appreciating andaccepting and loving other
people as they are, not as youwish them to be, now there's a
(19:00):
freedom.
That's the mirror reflectingback from life.
There's a deep intelligence inthis surrender and when you let
go, you don't actually fall, youfloat, and I love that because
you're not sinking with heavyresistance, which usually what
happens, and you can't see greenlights when there's lots of
(19:21):
resistance.
I've noticed this time and timeagain in my experience.
I sometimes think of myself asI'm the guy who's made pretty
much most of the mistakes andeven though I'm not proud of the
mistakes I've made, at leastthey've shown me a different
path, because I've been on ajourney for myself to be able to
really understand life.
And if you can reallyunderstand life, you recognize
(19:44):
that it's you kind of runningthe show and it's all dependent
about your perspective and theway you feel on a
moment-to-moment basis.
So this week I'm going to giveyou a little exercise.
Ask yourself when a challengepresents itself, can you let
that circumstance be as it isimperfect, perhaps frustrating,
(20:05):
perhaps challenging but justwatch the peace you feel.
If you can just let that be andlet them be.
Just notice, just witness inyour body the emotions that come
up, because if you start tofeel lighter, then you'll notice
this process is actuallyworking.
And I love this little mantrathat you can always use.
What if everything is alwaysworking out for me, no matter
(20:28):
how it seems?
This actually starts to buildtrust in your system, in your
nervous system.
This was something I went tostraight away, because if you
don't feel that things areworking out for you or that
things aren't working in yournervous system, this was
something I went to straightaway, because if you don't feel
that things are working out foryou or that things aren't
working in your favor, thenyou've got to ask the question
well, what, what if it could?
Because this actually changesthe dynamic.
(20:50):
The amount of times that I'vebeen driving to a destination
and I've just said to myself,well, wouldn't it be nice?
Or what if I had a reallysmooth journey and there were
green lights the whole way, theamount of times I have seen
green lights the entire way, hashelped me build this form of
trust with myself and life inthe external world.
(21:12):
It's amazing to witness in yourown experience and awareness
where you're going.
Actually, life is trying tohelp me and if I can let go and
let people be, and I can trustthat things are working out in
my favor, I'm going to buildthis amazing relationship and I
recognize that when there's atime to actually surrender to
challenges and let life comeversus do something about it.
(21:36):
And this is a proactive approachof working in harmony.
You have to have both the yinand yang of life.
Sometimes the yin of life is tosurrender to the moment and let
people be, and sometimes theyang of life is to go after it.
Remember this letting godoesn't mean you've lost.
It just means you'resurrendering to certain outcomes
(21:57):
being the way you wish them tobe rather than the way they
perhaps are.
Letting go doesn't mean youlost.
It just means you're free fromresistance and pain.
And remember this you can'thelp heal people by carrying
their baggage.
You just have to let them be aswell.
And the most powerful energy isjust applying stillness in your
(22:17):
life, because stillness breedsmore peace and to enjoy life at
a greater level, happiness comeswhen you're feeling greater
peace with inside.
So take some of these ideastoday, apply them, use them in
your week and notice whenchallenges arise, which they
will.
Can you let them be?
Can you let people be?
(22:38):
Can you let that circumstancebe, even though it's causing you
some sort of pain?
But if you can let that betotally imperfect, then notice
the freedom that comes on theother end of it might not come
immediately, but it will come,because surrendering is just
releasing resistance, and whenyou release resistance, your
(22:59):
energy rises.
And when your energy rises, yousee more resistance.
And when you release resistance, your energy rises.
And when your energy rises, yousee more green lights.
And when you see more greenlights, you know that you're in
a wonderful place for attractingand manifesting your best life.
Thanks for watching.
I hope you've enjoyed theepisode and, if you've liked it,
please share it with someonewho you think will really
benefit, because sharing thismessage allows people to
(23:20):
increase their own energy, theirown vitality, increase their
own peace and manifest theirbest life.
Until the next time, I wish youa wonderful week ahead and
green lights all the way.
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