Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
while I do believe
that the foundation of pretty
much everything that we'vespoken about is a a sense of
self-respect, right finding away that you do feel like, you
deserve to dress well, youdeserve to have these healthy
habits, you deserve to live thelife that's in your vision
you've previously had like anyunusual styles in the past?
Yeah, you know, I have, I think, james.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello and welcome to
the James Granstrom podcast
super soul model series.
This week we are very blessedto have James Lawley, aka Gen Z.
James is a British Americancreator, inspiring a new
generation of men to rediscoverclassic values in the style and
etiquette and self-respect.
At just 27, he's reached nearly30 million views on YouTube and
(00:50):
built a loyal following of over350,000 on Insta and TikTok,
drawing inspiration from iconslike Cary Grant, gregory Peck.
James doesn't just talk aboutbeing a gentleman, he lives it.
He's a role model.
Through his accountabilityprogram and thriving online
community, he helps mencultivate discipline, confidence
and purpose in a world thatoften lacks direction.
(01:12):
So I'm absolutely thrilled tohave this week's guest, james
Lawley.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
James Lawley.
Thank you very much, james.
Great to be here, james.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Lawley.
So, james, you talk about beinga gentleman and you're actually
bringing back something that weall have been shown over many
decades and eons.
That seems to be a bit lost intranslation in some departments.
What made you actually come tothis platform and help so many
men that you're doing right now?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
That's a good
question that you're doing right
now.
That's a good question.
So I think it really startedfrom being a consumer of content
myself.
In my teens and 20s Idefinitely spent a lot of time
on YouTube looking for guidance,looking for role models, and
there was some great guidanceout there.
I would say, if you're familiarwith some of the YouTubers in
(02:02):
the men's space, like Alpha M,real Men, real Style, those real
old school people that kind ofpioneered the space, but there
really wasn't anybody that wasmy age that was talking about
the things that interested meand there wasn't anybody that
was really making it kind ofrelatable or translatable to the
(02:23):
way that a regular 20-year-oldguy, a 30-year-old guy, would
live his life.
At the same time, when Istarted, we kind of had the rise
of people like Andrew Tate,fresh and fit, that were having
a massive influence on young men, but I saw it as a negative
influence overall.
So I just wanted to createsomething that was more the
(02:45):
voice of reason, something thathad some taste to it, something
that was honestly just thechannel that I wanted to watch,
the content that I wanted towatch, and I honestly didn't
really expect that 10 minutevideos of a British soft-spoken
man discussing clothing andetiquette would really be that
popular, you know.
(03:06):
But here we are, nearly twoyears later.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
That's a fantastic
story.
I guess my main question is,whilst that inspired you to
watch and create content thatyou actually wanted to see, what
actually drove you to becomethat person in the first place?
Did you have any unusualupbringing that made you think?
Oh, I think being a gentlemanis really important, Because I
(03:29):
love to see different stories ofhow we sort of wear the shoes
and wear the tie and wear thejacket.
What inspires us to become thatperson?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I think my upbringing
was different to what most
people would expect.
Most people might expect theboarding school, the dad who was
in the army, things like that.
That wasn't really the case.
My upbringing was quiteordinary in a sense of my
parents were very working class,had done all right for
themselves.
You know, we had a nice middleclass kind of comfortable
(03:59):
lifestyle.
But my dad doesn't dress likethis.
My dad didn't teach menecessarily about holding doors
open for women and things likethat.
He was more just focused onhard work, um, being the best
version of yourself, obviouslyproviding for the family.
That was very important to him.
I think a lot of the morerefined types of stuff he would
(04:22):
have considered not as important.
So it wasn't really myupbringing that inspired that.
If anything, I'd say maybe itwas a bit of a rebellion
actually, because I kind of feltlike things can be quite
humdrum in life, right, if youjust wear the same t-shirt every
day, if you date or yourromantic life is missing that
(04:45):
kind of spark, that effort, um,if your work just feels like
going through the motions, theway you interact with people is
kind of bland to me.
I was always looking to addmore of an artistic kind of edge
and really live my life in moreof a more like it was a movie
right or romanticize life.
(05:05):
So I think that the style andyeah, mostly the style was
really my gateway to everythingelse.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Um, so have you ever
previously had like any unusual
styles in the past?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
yeah, you know, I
have.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I think, james, when
you ask me so I'm alluding to
that because a lot of peoplewon't know, you know, and they
see this young distinguishedgent and you know he's.
You know very well put together, james.
You're very well spoken, verywell put together.
You know you pause and you'repoignant and you're articulate.
But you know there has to be apoint where you're a self-made
(05:42):
man, where you've shaped thischaracter, you've shaped this
attitude.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, going back to
the artistic side of things, I
would say the first way thatexpressed itself was with a
different type of presentation,because I'm a musician, I've
always been a musician and whenI was in my teenage years that
meant having a more like gothickind of dark presentation,
because I was in a heavy metalband.
I loved playing that kind ofmusic and I had the image to go
(06:10):
with it.
So I had long black hair,eyeliner, I looked like I hadn't
seen the sun in 200 years and Ijust really went for that kind
of image and that style.
I'd say the way that I spokeand the way that I conducted
myself was still quite similarto how it is now, but in terms
(06:31):
of the visual presentation itwas completely different.
I mean to put it into contextof how extreme it was.
I remember once I was on thetube going up the escalators and
a woman it was an angel tubestation, if you know that tube
station, you know it's very,very long escalators and a woman
was stood in front of me andshe just turns behind her and
(06:52):
she goes, ah, and when she seesme I mean that's how um, that's
how Gothic the appearance was,how dark it was.
So there was definitely a bigdifference between the way that
other people perceived me andtreated me back then to how it
is now question, because this isreally interesting for the
listeners was that a part of arebellious expression at that
(07:13):
time?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
because you mentioned
that also, being a gentleman
and what you're wearing rightnow is a kind of rebellious
expression yeah, I mean, itdefinitely wasn't something that
I was nurtured into or pushedinto.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
So I think quite
possibly I'd say that it was
also like a confidence thing ofif you're going to enjoy playing
a certain type of music, you'regoing to have career ambitions
as a musician.
It's like let's go all in, youknow, let's actually, let's wear
the clothing, let's create,create a style and not be afraid
(07:51):
to cultivate that image as well.
I'd say that's one of thecommon threads between them is
if you're going to do something,you may as well do it with full
confidence and not be afraid topresent yourself how you want
to.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I love that.
I love to tell this story aboutharrison ford because when he
first uh was starring as indianajones in raiders of the lost
ark and all the rest of themovies that they made, he said
he actually never felt likeindiana jones until he put the
hat on, until he put the jacketon, until he held the whip, it
(08:24):
was said.
He said I just didn't feel likeindie, I just didn't feel like
it.
But it was only when I wore theclothes that I actually felt
like the character.
So I really appreciate your,you know your story.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
If you're going to be
in the heavy metal band, look
like it and if you're going tobe a gent, dress like it yes,
and when it comes to theconfidence confidence is a big
thing that I talk about I tendto experience this in the
reverse now of if there is anoccasion when I, let's say, I'm
running to the grocery store,post office, I'm not looking
(08:57):
particularly good, I feel thenegative effects of that, I
notice.
Hmm, I don't feel as excited tostrike up a conversation If I
see a beautiful woman.
I don't feel, as you know, hmm,hmm, I don't feel as excited to
strike up a conversation if Isee a beautiful woman.
I don't feel, as you know, Idon't feel like I've got my mojo
working quite as much, whereaswhen I'm, it doesn't have to be
dressed up, it doesn't have tobe suit and tie, doesn't have to
be jacket and tie, like I'mdoing now, just a nice linen
(09:18):
shirt, like what you're wearing,nice pair of trousers, pair of
shoes, you've had a shave, yourhair is styled, that's all you
really need to make you feelgood.
But that is the suit of armor,in the same way that Indiana
Jones has his costume.
We all have a kind of costume.
We are all wearing masks andthe way that we dress will
always change the way that wefeel.
(09:39):
I think everybody knows that.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But I really like
that because I took this idea on
myself even a few years ago.
I'm not going to actually goout unless I feel like I'm well
presented, because with theclients that I work with, you
just never know who you mightend up seeing.
So I always want to bepresented, because I work with
private families and and highnet worth clients, so I always
want to be ready whateverhappens.
(10:07):
That's not going to say I'm notgoing to have an off day, but
I'm going to still presentmyself in that way.
And I've noticed just on a lotof your videos and your content
you talk about this and where isit that people kind of let that
go?
Why do they not see thesimplicity?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
of it.
I don't think it's the defaultanymore.
If you go back to 50s, 40s, 30sI'm sure we've all seen photos
of our grandpa, you know,wearing a suit on the beach.
So people took it to thatextreme of it was like if I'm
not wearing a suit and tie, I'mnot dressed um.
And it's definitely been slowlyeroded today.
(10:46):
I think the most extremeexample when you see this is at
the airport right especially ifit's a long call flight.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Just at the airport
the other day and we were just
thinking why?
Why are people so sloppy intheir presentation?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
yeah, I think that
people have lost this separation
between at home, comfort me andoutside presenting to the world
me.
You'll see people in cafes justwearing sweatpants, lounging
around, kind of like they're athome.
So I think it's a personalpride thing, but I think that
(11:21):
it's just become the default nowof, as you become an adult
whether you're my generation oryou're a millennial or even
older it's not expectednecessarily that you would make
any effort with your appearance,especially for men.
I think women still take morepleasure from the way they look
and enjoy wearing makeup andclothes, but I would say that's
(11:43):
being eroded as well, especiallywith younger generations,
increasingly.
I just see more and more womenwearing sweatpants in public.
Jeans, no makeup, very just,low effort presentation.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So, james, right now
you're based in Chicago, is that
correct?
Yeah, so in Chicago how dopeople dress in comparison with
Europe?
Because you're half English,half American, so you have this
wonderful infusion of twodifferent cultures.
It's an interesting perspective.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, and it's funny
because I think a lot of
Americans that I talk to don'trealize the huge difference
between British, english andEuropean.
You know they're thinking Spain, italy, france.
The way people dress there, I'dsay it's quite different from
the UK as well.
The US is so split right.
We've got so many differentcultures happening here In
(12:36):
Chicago it's definitely moredressed up than it was when I
lived in LA.
In Chicago we have an areacalled Gold Coast.
For a long time that was thesecond wealthiest neighborhood
in the whole country behind theLower East Side in Manhattan.
So that is an area where I liketo hang out and you will see
men in the bars wearing sportcoats, wearing nice shirts,
(12:58):
wearing nice shoes.
And then you've got differentneighborhoods where perhaps it's
more tech focused.
You see the typical tech brofinance bro with the vest, with
the trainers, and then you'vegot hipster type neighborhoods
as well.
So it really is a huge meltingpot of styles.
I would say that Chicago we'rein the Midwest still so people
(13:20):
do dress a little bit more.
I don't want to sayconservative, but I wouldn't say
there's a huge flair forfashion.
In the same way that if you'rein New York you'll see people
dress kind of outrageously ordress like they just stepped off
the runway.
In LA.
You'll see the same thing aswell In Chicago.
It is more by the book in termsof the way that the men put the
(13:42):
outfits together, in terms ofthe way that the men put the
outfits together, so you talk alot about style, I guess.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I'd really like to
talk about the inner version of
what turns someone into awell-rounded gentleman and how
that actually also appeals tothe opposite sex as well,
because a lot of people youtalked about confidence earlier.
How can people develop moreconfidence with, not only just
by the way they appear, but alsocertain characteristics and
(14:12):
attitude, because I know youhelp a lot of people in your
private community, so you knowhow do you go about sharing that
and what could you share withthe audience to help them
develop that within themselves.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Absolutely.
There's a couple of sides tothe confidence thing.
I find that a lot of peoplethat struggle with confidence
it's like they're also out ofpractice and because they're out
of practice they're in thisvery deep, very negative
feedback loop.
Let's say you want to beconfident to the point where, if
you are at a bar or at a coffeeshop, you could strike up a
(14:47):
conversation.
Right, that's quite a bigmilestone for a lot of people.
If you're really out ofpractice and you haven't done
that for a long time, when youthink about striking up that
conversation, you'll starttelling yourself things like
they don't want to be bothered,I don't have anything of value
to add to them, they wouldn'twant to speak to me.
You miss that opportunity, theyleave, you don't strike up the
(15:10):
conversation.
Then you reward yourself fornot doing it by going yeah, they
wouldn't have wanted me tobother them anyway, it's a good
job.
They left and it just getsworse and worse from there.
A big part of what I do withconfidence is breaking out of
those typical thought patternsand those typical behaviors.
So right now, what we'reactually doing in the group that
(15:31):
I run is we are doing a socialconfidence challenge where every
day, every man is just strikingup one conversation that pushes
him slightly beyond his comfortzone.
And it depends what yourcomfort zone is.
It can be different fordifferent people.
For somebody that is not verysocially confident at all, that
might be the person at thegrocery store checkout, right?
(15:52):
Hey, how's your day going?
Just striking up thatconversation.
For me, as somebody who isquite socially confident, for me
to push past that comfort zone,I have to do something like ask
somebody in the gym to spot forme right or go up to somebody
you know a lot further out.
I have to push it a little bitmore, yeah, but that's the point
(16:13):
is everybody's at a differentlevel, right, but it's about
getting that practice in.
So the practice and creating amore positive reward system, a
positive feedback loop is one ofthem, but then the other side
of it is also giving yourself areason to be confident.
Part of that does come with thepresentation, but also that
comes with the habits and thediscipline you have and the
(16:36):
pride that you take in yourself.
So if you feel like you'vetotally messed up the day, you
snooze through your alarm, youstart doom scrolling, you start
watching corn, as they call iton social media.
If you begin your day withthese very negative habits and
you're avoiding your ownresponsibilities, then it's
quite difficult to go up topeople and be confident, to go
(16:58):
into a big crowded room and feellike I'm somebody of value,
whereas if you keep thosepromises to yourself and you can
see that you are makingprogress on your goals, I
believe that gives you a hugeboost and also helps you see
your own value, do you?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
ever find people can
present themselves well but
don't have the inner attitude,don't have the inner
characteristics, aren't wellrefined and they're just.
You know it's just.
You know it's a mask but notactually depth.
Do you ever come across andhave you had, have you had any
clients come to you how you'vebeen able to help them with
(17:35):
something like that?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
There are definitely
clients that come to me that are
very into the style, veryknowledgeable about style, but
they lack the confidence.
Still, that can be a part of it.
It can also be to the pointwhere they're so into style that
the way they present themselvesis a little bit archaic and
that's actually having anegative effect on their
(17:58):
confidence because they don'treally fit in with the places
that they go.
I always encourage people whenI'm creating a wardrobe with
them or working very much onstyle, let's focus on the places
that you actually go, themessage that you want to send.
How do other people in theenvironment dress and make it
very appropriate?
Now, in terms of do peoplemaybe look the part but don't
(18:21):
have the values deep down, Ihaven't found that to be a huge
thing and I think that's mostlybecause the people that
gravitate toward the style thatI do.
It isn't something that you doto really impress others because
it isn't dependent on designerlogos.
It's not dependent on beingvery flashy and eye-catching
(18:43):
designer logos.
It's not dependent on beingvery flashy and eye-catching.
It is more of a low-key typestyle where you communicate
self-respect, you communicaterespect for the situation, but
it's not necessarily peacocky.
Look at me.
I think if people want that,they probably would go to
somebody else for fashion.
I probably do the kind ofpeacocking out there style more
than most people that watch myvideos.
Just because I'm I enjoyclothing, right, I enjoy fashion
(19:07):
.
I'll watch runway videos fromRalph Lauren and go I'm going to
copy this Okay, wearing a tieas a belt.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
That's kind of out
there, let's do it, and
sometimes sometimes I look a bitridiculous, but also it's just
it's just a bit of fun for me,but you know, is this is what I
I like about you and your workand the way you present your
content.
James, you know, you you lookquite serious, very well
presented, but deep down insidethere's, you know, you're
looking for a bit of humor,you're looking to take the
(19:34):
mickey, you know, and I reallyyeah, and it's starting to come
out more.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
As I'm able to do
more fun things with content and
I have bigger production, I'mable to just share more of my
life, like today I have a videocoming out where it's a vlog of
just I spent the day on a boat,savoring champagne, taking the
wheel, kind of just messingaround, honestly.
But I'm at the point now whereI feel like I want to let people
(19:59):
in a bit more about my lifebeyond just talking to the
camera, and just allow people tosee.
Yeah, I do have more of a senseof humor.
I remember I went on a datewith a woman who'd seen my
YouTube videos and she said oh,you're actually a lot more fun
in real life than on YouTube.
I thought you were going to bekind of dry and humorless, but
(20:21):
that's not really me.
I think it's just the nature ofwhen you sit down and you'll
know this.
When you sit down to filmcontent, you are obviously
putting a certain side ofyourself through to the camera.
You can't be your wholepersonality in 10 minutes.
So that's just been the natureof content so far.
But I'm opening it up.
Some people don't like it likeit, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Some people take
themselves very seriously and
kind of have a backlash or maybedon't get the joke, but that's
always going to happen yeah, youcan't always make everybody
happy and it's not your job tomake people happy, but what I do
appreciate about your contentis that you're building a
community of people to help themfeel more confident and to go
(21:01):
out into a world where they havegreater self-respect and
greater feeling of value forthemselves.
Because that I think this isreally important, because in a
world where we're starting nowto see, you know, a lot more
comparison.
You know, I've been in the mail, I've been in the modeling
industry for a long period oftime, for over two decades and
there is a lot of comparison.
(21:22):
That goes on, and but it's whenyou find your own
self-expression, when you findyour own vibe, you know, and you
stay true to that.
I think that's when things getreally enjoyable in life.
It's like life takes off foryou.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
But some people can
find it very difficult to even
stop feeling like they need tocompare themselves to other
people so I ask you, as somebodywho's been in the the modeling
industry since you're in your20s yeah, I don't know how old
you are now.
You're looking great, but I'mnot sure um 50 now.
Oh, you're 50, wow, okay,fantastic.
As a man, you know our value orour attractiveness is not
(22:03):
linked so much to age as it iswith women.
What have you found about theway that you've been perceived
as a model and then also thekind of self-respect that you've
had as you've got older?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
well, very good
question.
I think that the main thing isat the beginning, when I first
started modeling I'm going totry and do my best to sort of
give you a little story incontext.
When I first started modeling,I felt, you know, quite proud of
myself.
I felt like I was.
I looked good, I well presented, I could speak well, I could
speak for myself.
So I had this not cocky, but Ihad a feeling of confidence.
(22:37):
And then, when I recognized Iwas being compared to other
people and I needed to fit acertain type of thing, I felt
like I began to lose that senseof self.
And then, after a while of thatgoing on, for what felt like a
couple of years, I recognized Ineed to just go and be me again.
(22:57):
I can't be that person becauseI'm not that person.
And so it was literally megoing.
I'm just going to play me, I'mjust going to be me again.
I can't be that person becauseI'm not that person.
And so it was literally megoing.
I'm just going to play me, I'mjust going to be me.
I'm going to do everything Ican to remain true to myself,
which meant do my hair the way Ido, dress the way I do.
I'm not going to be some edgyguy because I'm a classical
looking guy.
I'm not some weird looking typeof edgy character that I cannot
(23:22):
play for ID, which is one of themagazines, and even though I
was put in that magazine to playthis edgy character, I was like
that is not me.
So I was like you know, I'm alittle bit more Ralph
Lauren-esque and that was one ofthe first clients I ever worked
with.
And so, going back to yourquestion is is that I felt like
(23:43):
I was trying to be put in a boxinitially and then it was only
when I realized that theiropinion didn't matter that I
became free.
That's the difference and thatwas my own searching, and that
was really when I beganmeditating that that idea and
that viewpoint was available tome, whereas before I didn't see
it.
So it's literally having someself-introspection.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I think that is one
of the beauties of social media
is you don't have to putyourself into a category or
necessarily compare yourself tosomebody else.
Yeah, sometimes I think if I'dbeen born in a different decade
and there were no YouTube, therewas no Instagram, what would I
do to express the things that Ido with Gen Z?
(24:26):
And my options would have beenwrite for a magazine right, and
be told what to write bysomebody else, to have to deal
with the backstabbing ofjournalism and trying to keep my
job.
I could have tried to makeclothes I mean especially back
then.
God knows how much money thatwould have taken to get started.
Or maybe I could have doneevents Again, huge startup costs
(24:51):
, very difficult to spread theword.
So I am really grateful for theopportunity of social media,
just of anybody can presentthemselves the way they want to
just carve out a niche of one.
Obviously, I took inspirationfrom people.
There are channels similar tomine, but I don't really wake up
in the morning and go what'sthis guy doing?
(25:12):
You know what's this guy doing?
Let's get, let's.
I don't.
I watch YouTube just purely formy own pleasure and
entertainment and if I takeinspiration from people,
sometimes it will be somebodythat's completely unrelated.
Like when I'm doing more of mylifestyle type content.
Now, I'm more likely to takeinspiration from somebody like
Mike Thurston, who's a fitnessinfluencer, rather than somebody
(25:35):
like Kirby Allison, who doesstyle, because I find the way
that Mike does his videos ishumorous and relatable and feels
casual, whereas somebody likekirby it's very stuffy and it's
dry and I I don't find ithumorous.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
No disrespect there,
but no, no, totally, and I I
think you know there's somethingfor everybody and ideally
you've got to take away what'sright for you I'd be curious to.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, I'm curious
about the because obviously
modeling has changed as well andwhat is seen as the ideal
physique for men has changedback in the day.
How did you balance the, thehealth requirements of being a
model and working out with theparty lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
that sounds very
difficult yeah, it does sound
difficult.
That's, um, do you know what?
No one really tells you what todo.
They didn't even tell you howto manage your money, james.
They don't tell you anything.
They just say you've got toturn up for this casting, get
yourself in shape, if you've gotto be in shape for this job,
and that's it.
They're not.
(26:35):
They're not watching over you.
You just got to do it.
You know they're just worryingabout booking the job.
So you know, you're this young,20 something and haven't got a
clue, and you just want to goout and it's your first time to
really to have some freedom andto party.
But at the same time you'relike you know, this is actually
a business, this isn't supposedto be just some.
(26:55):
You know you're making money,you're supposed to support
yourself.
Um, so, in answer to yourquestion, no one was really
watching me, but it was onlywhen I had, like, I recognized
that I'd had a car crash a fewyears earlier and it was nearly
fatal I didn't kill myself oranybody else, and it was drink
(27:16):
involved that I decided that thesame thing was happening, but
but in a different way now, andI decided I had to call on some
you know, help, because I didn'tknow what to do.
So I was actually inspired tostart meditating and that is
what changed everything.
That's when I changed my diet.
That's when I managed to getoff drinking.
(27:38):
It was more like binge drinking.
You know, it's quite a bigpopular thing in the UK, but
perhaps not so much in theStates, but in the UK it is and
uh, you know.
So I've been sober for such along time and it's been
incredible levels of focus and Iwas probably the only guy
modeling all that time.
He wasn't, he wasn't drinking.
(27:59):
So I'd go to the tom fordparties, I'd go to the gucci
parties and I I didn't, I didn'tdrink, didn't smoke, right, and
you know, hold some living, butit's my way of finding a
natural high.
That was, and that's what I'm inthe process of writing my book
called natural high, naturalhigh.
I like that, you know.
(28:19):
I just want and this is why Iloved you know what you were
talking about being gentlemanand having self-respect and
having.
I think that men really needrole models and I think it can
be particularly hard when someof the models out there aren't
necessarily living or havingself-respect.
(28:42):
Yes, and I believe when Iwatched a couple of your videos,
I was thinking, oh, james isreally demonstrating that and
you're really holding a level ofcomposure that I thought I
really, I value that.
I see that.
What a wonderful role modelhimself and he's not afraid to
be this character and step intothese shoes and own it, whereas
(29:04):
most people wear, and that's whyI love what you do and that's
why I thought I've got to see ifwe can get you on the show.
Thank you, really.
I thought what you're doing, Ithink, is fabulous and you know
what a wonderful way to spreadthe word.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
But be the role model
, even though when it's hard,
you know it, but be the rolemodel even though when it's hard
, you know it is, you know it'slike heavy as the head right,
and I'll even joke about thiswith my friends of you know.
Maybe I I don't know forget tohold the door open or something,
or I'm two minutes late.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
It's like not very
gentlemanly of you.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
James.
But also I kind of appreciatethat at this point that there's
a very serious message behind it, but I also don't take myself
that seriously.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Is there a?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
stigma around men
talking about their emotional
lives that you've come across.
I would say that for the guysthat come into my mentorship
program and this isn't a plug,I'm just using this as an
example the things that they areable to talk about within that
group or talk about with me arethings that they don't typically
feel like they can talk aboutwith other people, and it
(30:13):
doesn't necessarily mean thatthey're isolated.
They could have a huge group offriends, they could have a
girlfriend, great relationshipwith their family, but they
think who do I share this with?
And I think with relationshipsthere can be a stigma as well of
you want to be seen as this manwho has it together.
You want to be this provider,you want her to feel safe.
(30:35):
Yet if you feel vulnerable, ifyou're going through a lot of
things, then do I want to sharethis with her?
And different people havedifferent relationship dynamics,
right?
I think a very healthyrelationship dynamic is that you
can be vulnerable yet still bea provider and be seen as a safe
place for her.
Friendship groups can differ aswell.
(30:56):
I would say that I have afriendship group where I would
be able to share some emotionalthings, but there also might be
some things that I'm not socomfortable sharing.
So I would definitely say thereis still a stigma
vulnerabilities about sharingtheir emotions.
Yet at the same time, the widerconversation about male mental
(31:23):
health can be a little bitoverdone, I think.
So I don't know quite what thedisconnect is happening there.
Maybe you're more plugged intothis space as well, but
obviously over the last fewyears the male mental health
conversation has really openedup, and I'd say that it's more
acceptable for men to saythey're struggling with
something, but also are they?
(31:46):
Are they really actually doingthat in a healthy way?
I don't know if they are at themoment I'm just conscious, or
you know.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I'm just interested
in how you have dealt with that
in your inner circle programming.
That's really what I'm alludingto here, right?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
well, the people that
join all do a call with me
first.
So I'm really figuring out.
Is this the right person forthe environment?
How would the other guys feel?
Do they understand the level ofyou know, confidentiality and
trust and vulnerability that'srequired to get the most out of
this experience?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
So is the main
challenge that you find with the
people that come into yourprogram?
Is it confidence, or is thereanything else that they might
sort of come into?
There's quite a few.
Yeah, there's quite a few.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
And I find that they
are layered right.
So some people say it's verysimply confidence.
Some people might say it's uh,relationships and dating that
they're struggling with, buttypically there's a lack of
confidence underneath that one.
Some people might be verysocially confident, but they
struggle more with disciplineand keeping themselves
(32:57):
accountable.
So we have accountabilitypartners for whatever goals
you're working on, and theycheck in with each other.
Some guys also come in becausethey don't really have a very
clear vision.
This is something that I'm verypassionate about, and I kind of
got this from ArnoldSchwarzenegger.
I'm a huge fan of his and healways talks about-.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
He's got some great
points there.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
He's incredible, and
I believe that without a clear
vision, it's very difficult tohave the discipline, because
what's the point of thediscipline if it doesn't take
you to a clear destination?
So you can wake up in themorning, you could do the cold
plunge, the ice bath, themeditation, all of that, but if
you don't really know whatyou're trying to get out of it,
that's not going to last forvery long.
(33:42):
So that's something I'm reallypassionate about.
Working with them is what isthe vision?
What's the vision long term?
How can we make that more inthe short term?
And what different areas ofyour life does that vision exist
within, in terms of career,family, your health, the way
that you feel, things that makeyou happy as well.
So I'm very passionate aboutjust actually chiseling out what
(34:06):
that vision looks like and thensetting some of the steps and
the things that we can keep themaccountable to that will
actually help them get there sowe talked a lot about how you're
helping other people, but whatI'd really like to know is
james's journey, what?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
what was James's
discipline?
What are your day-to-daydisciplines and your
non-negotiables?
Because you know a lot ofpeople are coming to you.
Um, you're still, you know,under 30, which is great and
you're fantastically poised.
But what are your disciplines?
What has shaped you?
Because you know, know youcan't get to where you are and
(34:42):
and touch many lives and youknow, on potentially a sensitive
subject with healthymasculinity, you know people are
coming to you, they're seeingyou as a go-to person.
What are your disciplines?
How did, how did you step intothat for yourself?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
yeah, absolutely, I'd
say the number one is the work
ethic, and I think you have todo things that other people will
think are weird.
To give you a very specificexample of this, when I started
the YouTube channel, I had afull time job still, so I would
just do the YouTube channel inthe mornings before I started
(35:18):
work, or very late in theevenings.
And I remember one evening thisis very early on, maybe month
one, month two my mom is stayingwith me and she's sitting out
on the balcony and saying, oh,come on, let's have a drink
together or whatever.
And I'm sitting there editing avideo and she says what are you
doing working?
It's Saturday night and I saythe life that I want is going to
(35:39):
require unusual actions, right,it's going to require a
different level of discipline, adifferent level of discomfort.
So you have to be prepared toput in work that other people
aren't prepared to do.
That is just being veryintentional with your time.
(36:01):
I think today people waste somuch time, right, there are so
many distractions out there.
I don't feel like I want towaste a second right.
And there are things that I dothat are relaxational or
leisurely.
I could be having a cigar, Icould be spending some time with
my friends, but that's not timewasted to me.
Time wasted to me is doomscrolling, video things like
(36:25):
that.
So those are reallynon-negotiables for me of I
don't do video games, I don't dosocial media doom scrolling, I
don't do corn adult movies,things like that.
That.
It just in no way is that goingto help me.
So I'm just very strict aboutthose things.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
And then what
actually sort of drove you to
that?
Was that something alreadyinstilled in you?
Was that something that youcame to?
No, I definitely came to that?
Speaker 1 (36:50):
yeah, I definitely
came to that.
Um, when I was a teenager I wasthe typical kind of
undisciplined, waking up at oneor two in the afternoon, barely
getting out of bed, type ofteenager.
And then it was probably JordanPeterson, actually, that really
started to introduce me to thisidea of it's more than
(37:13):
discipline, I'd say.
It's seeing a greater versionof yourself and striving to
become that.
So his book 12 Rules for Lifecame out the year that I started
university, when I was 18.
And that was definitely a bigshift for me of, instead of
living the typical studentlifestyle of sleeping all day,
drinking all night, doing thebare minimum to get by, I'm
(37:36):
actually going to be verydeliberate and put these rules
into practice of simple stufflike making the bed, of creating
a schedule and sticking to it,and I'm also quite OCD.
So when I started to do this, Ireally leaned into it and it
really resonated with me.
I got a huge amount ofsatisfaction from it.
So that started.
(37:56):
And then I was definitelyputting a lot of my discipline
and things like that into musicfor a long time.
So I would play guitar for, youknow, six, eight hours a day.
I was just obsessed withbecoming the best musician I
could be.
So then, when I started doingwriting, when I started making
YouTube videos, a realnon-negotiable for me has always
(38:17):
been it has to be three videosa week minimum.
And sometimes people will cometo me for YouTube consulting.
They want to start their ownchannel and they'll say, you
know, I'm thinking maybe I'll doone video a week.
And I always use the sameanalogy as if somebody told me
they want to get in shape andthey're going to go to the gym
once a week.
Do you think that would workvery well for them?
(38:38):
They go.
No, that's not enough.
So I think the volume is veryimportant, and one thing I have
learned from doing thisspecifically is that the volume
will create the improvementsthat you need.
So when I started making videos, they're honestly not very good
.
Right, I wasn't that great atspeaking to the camera.
The editing was terrible, thelighting lighting was terrible.
(38:59):
The subject matter was quitegood, but it's definitely got
better.
But I wouldn't have got betterif I just waited that year and a
half to try and improve myskills.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I just had to do it,
and I do believe that just
learning by doing is really,really important yeah, I mean
you can be told what to do, butultimately doing is how wisdom
is created, right, because youknow not what to do.
I love that you're talkingabout.
You have a little bit of OCDbecause there's a little control
freak within you.
(39:27):
It also resonates within mebecause you know I try and
control whatever I can.
Um, but there's one thing thatI really really admire and
appreciate and I think that theaudience will really love to be
reminded about, which is thatdiscipline is actually the route
to become the person you reallywant to be.
(39:48):
And you know there's anotherchap who I watched his videos
about years ago and he said youknow, he worked in a shoes shoe
shop, women's shoe shop.
And he said that when I, whenhe shoes shoe shop women's shoe
shop.
And he said that when I, whenhe wanted to become a youtube
creator, he made a video everyday and and he said I needed to
sort of start walking into thatidentity, very much like you did
(40:08):
when you were creating at thebeginning that identity that I'm
going to present information,but I'm going to be consistent
about it.
So the word consistency and theword discipline actually help
you shape yourself to become thebest version of yourself,
meaning you'll do whatever ittakes so that that life that you
want you're going to startfinding in harmony, because
(40:31):
nothing comes to you without youwalking towards it.
I would say that the universemeets you halfway, life meets
you halfway.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I see it as like
three tiers as well.
At the top of the mountainthere is the vision that's
actually the goal that we'retrying to get towards.
Then you have the disciplineand the habits that will help
you get there.
Like you say, that is whatcarves you, but life happens,
things fall off.
We have to have the motivation,we have to have the
(41:00):
accountability, we have to havethose systems and those
structures in place that helpyou when you feel like you're
driving down a road at night andyou can't see the destination,
that help reassure you.
You're on the right path andthere are things you can do by
yourself to help with that.
There are things that you cando with other people.
I mean, coming back to the ocdthing, I write down what I'm
(41:21):
doing all day in my journal.
I have it right here like letme, this is yesterday, so you
can see to this.
I mean, it's almost like, as Isaid, most people would look at
some of the stuff that you haveto do to be disciplined and
think this guy is likeborderline mentally ill.
You know this is quite weird,but if you want a different life
(41:41):
to what most people do, whichI'd imagine a lot of your
listeners.
Do you have to do verydifferent stuff, right?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
you have to do stuff
that other people think are a
bit odd james, you and I uh areon the same page, except for I
printed out all my notes herethat I that you know of what I
was going to ask you here todayand have our conversation.
But also I write out myintentions every single day, and
have done for 10 years, becauseI know that with writing
(42:08):
something down, I'm going to bereminded of what I need to
complete.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Have you had periods
where you've perhaps slipped off
?
Or, if you haven't, what do youthink has helped you do this to
that level of consistency,because obviously I'm 27 so I
can't talk about oh, I've donethis for 20 years.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Hopefully I will, but
I would love to know from you
what you would recommend well,the only thing that I would say
is to recommend is that you haveto ask yourself a question
every single day who do I wantto be today?
How important is this dream toyou, this lifestyle that you
want?
Maybe you want to have a lot ofmoney, maybe you want to live
(42:46):
in a beautiful place.
Maybe you want to have awonderful relationship.
Maybe you want fantastic health.
For me, I want all of that, andin order to have that, I have
to show up differently today.
So I ask myself what habits doI need to execute so that I live
and be that person today, sothat over time, as I show up as
(43:10):
that person, the outer worldthen changes for me, because
that's exactly what's happened.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Oh man, there's a
couple of things I want to talk
to you about there.
One of them is and this took melonger to realize than it did
to figure out the discipline is.
There's one side of disciplinewhich is making yourself do
things and being very alignedwith your habits.
The other one is saying no tothings.
Right distractions and there areso many things that also just
(43:39):
you can make being disciplined alot easier for yourself, or you
can make it a lot harder foryourself.
So we were talking, before youstarted recording, about alcohol
.
Yeah, now I I took a long breakfrom alcohol.
I've recently slowly beenreintroducing it and found that
my relationship is quitedifferent to how it used to be.
Thank god god we can go moreinto that if you want.
(43:59):
But you know alcohol sleep aswell.
If you're underslept.
You've had four hours sleep.
Good luck being disciplinedthat day, right.
Good luck having good mentalhealth that day.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Good luck in your
relationships as well, because
they will massively suffer whenyou're operating under what I
call 51 percent.
So if you're operating under 51, you're kind of like in the
that dreg zone.
If you ever feel like you'repushing with energy and you're
like really slow and lethargicin your energy number one it's
because you're underslept.
(44:31):
Number two, it's probablybecause you're not hydrated well
.
Number three for sure you'venot got the right nutrients
inside of you and for sure youprobably don't have enough
vitamin c.
People don't understand thepower of vitamin c.
It's really.
I have a lemon water everymorning to clean my gut and it's
helped my skin be immaculatefor years I should get on this
(44:52):
yeah, so so.
So people reach for differentthings, but if you knew what was
good for you, would you do it,and that's all I did.
I was like I know that's goodfor me, I've done my homework
and then I'm going to execute bydoing that.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So I'd say the
foundations are the sleep, the
diet.
What are some other things thatyou think people trip
themselves up with?
Obviously, alcohol is one ofthem Drugs, if people get into
that.
Anything else I mean.
For me it's actually having toomuch caffeine.
Okay, completely, throw thingsoff, for me.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
So you know there's
loads of different stories.
People say this is good for you, this is not good for you.
I just want to say what workedfor me.
That's all I'm going to do,because I don't want to say one
thing is right.
There's a universal thingthat's right for everybody, you
know.
But what I would like to tellyou is that, for me, caffeine
spiked my blood and I was a bigtea drinker and I still love tea
(45:48):
and I do like coffee,particularly coffee ice cream.
There's something about coffeeice cream I quite like, but if
you spike the blood that you're,you're actually going to have a
dip later, so you becomedependent.
So when I used to take drugslike party drugs, I was
dependent on feeling that way tofeel high again and so that I
(46:12):
would never have a reset button.
What was my reset button?
I'd wait until that all kind ofeliminated for five days and
then, as soon as I felt normalagain, I'd go back.
So perhaps try to give yourselfsomething like I'm going to try
two days or three days with nothaving a coffee in the morning,
and maybe substitute it forsomething else, which might be
(46:33):
hot water and lemon.
Let's see how I feel, becauseactually what it's doing is,
funnily enough, even thoughlemon might be citric acid, it's
actually creating with thewater.
It's actually creating agreater harmony inside the gut
and clean gut.
And a clean gut means you'vegot more energy and more
(46:56):
headspace to be focused.
So my most important thing ishow can I be the most focused
version of myself today?
So if you find that coffee ishelping you focus, great, but if
you're becoming dependent onthat to be focused, then that's
not great.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Right, yeah, and it
can seem overwhelming because
we're trying to balance a fewdifferent vectors of our life.
Right, we want to work veryhard, but also we need to sleep
adequately.
So there have been times in mypast maybe you've done the same
thing where you think, well, Ineed to work more, so I'll just
sleep less, and then you realizehow bad that goes.
(47:34):
It doesn't go well, it doesn'tgo very well.
What has helped me a lot isreally just making life a lot
more simple.
I think when things began totake off for me with YouTube,
everything was very chaotic andas a result, you know, I wasn't
keeping a close eye on the booksof the business, I wasn't
(47:55):
keeping a close eye on mypersonal health, my sleep.
I wasn't keeping a close eye onmy personal health, my sleep.
I wasn't keeping a close eye onmy personal relationships.
But now I just I spend a lotmore time reflecting.
I think this is a great habitthat not many people do today,
of journaling out, writingthings down on the whiteboard.
(48:15):
Okay, these are my goals.
This is what I'm trying to do.
How can I allocate my time?
And it doesn't have to be likean astronomical amount of effort
for each area.
If you want to work on a sidebusiness, you can do a lot in an
hour a day.
I've been working on a shavingbrand lately.
I've put no more than one houra day into it.
(48:35):
But you focus.
During that hour, you speak toa couple of people, things move
along.
You pick it up the next day.
Those people come back to youOkay, we've got progress.
Now we've got the meeting.
Okay, the designer's working onthat.
I've got the samples.
Don't like the fragrance?
Okay, bring that back.
And things can move along withincredible pace in a very, with
(48:55):
a very short amount of time.
If you have that focus and ifyou have that direction and I
think the same could be true forwhether you're trying to work
on your fitness, I mean, I'msure, with your, your clients,
you know you don't tell them togo work out five hours a day,
right?
Speaker 2 (49:09):
No, everything with
with regards to your fitness is
just like I do 20 minutes to 25minute workout.
That's all I need to do.
Wow, but I know what to do inthat 25 minutes and I don't
really talk to anybody in that25 minutes.
And I might work out every dayfor 25 minutes and at the
weekend I do walks and hikes andswimming.
So I like that.
(49:31):
But I'd like to do a varietyand I do a lot of jump rope
stuff because I want to keep myheart rate up and when my heart
rates up, once I've come down, Iknow my mental aptitude is
really uh, in a focused space.
So that's when I can startwriting and creating new content
, which I find really good forme.
But that's what I've discoveredworks for me.
(49:52):
I do a cold shower every day.
I don't do cold plunges, butthat's just to create that, that
focus again, I really like that.
So I do a hot and a cold, butreally it's to remain consistent
.
You've got to get some kind ofresult.
So if you feel like it'sworking for you, you're going to
want to keep going, and Ibelieve that we keep going
(50:13):
because that momentum becomeslike that new drug, and I mean
that in a healthy way.
We feel like we want to do itagain.
So if you do that one hour onworking on your shaving cream,
then you're feeling I'm enthusedabout creating this beautiful
product that I could share withpeople.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
That's difficult to
get in the start, though,
because, for example, withfitness, you know somebody's
very overweight or somebody'sstarting a youtube channel
really hard you might not seeanything for a few weeks.
You're not.
You're not going to seeanything.
You're not going to seeanything.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
When I first started
the podcast, I made this pact
with life.
I said I'm going to do this, um, and I'm going to do it every
week.
So for the first two years ofthe show, I did a podcast
episode every week, everyThursday, without fail, and that
meant I needed to find newpeople or create content where I
was going to deliver it.
And that was a pact and I waslike I'm going to do this and
(51:08):
you don't see results at thebeginning at all.
It's actually almost in yearfour that I started seeing
results.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yeah, I think you
have to make the result the
output rather than the feedback.
Yeah, so for me, the result was, if I do three videos a week,
I'll be happy with that.
That's, that's the goal.
Or, you know, if I do theworkouts, that's the goal.
It's not about the changes thatI see or do not see in the
mirror.
Yeah, the fitness thing issomething that I'm really
(51:35):
putting a lot more focus onright now because I feel like I
I see a potential with myself of, yeah, I'm in good shape I'm
definitely not like embarrassedby my body if, or anything like
that, but it's not the nine outof ten, the ten out of ten that
it could be, and as somebodythat is somewhat of a role model
and is always trying to be thebest version of themselves,
(51:57):
somebody that can have a lot ofpressure on you to feel like you
need to step into that.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah, but also, you
know, I love clothes and what I
do is kind of amateur modelingin a sense the thing is is,
james, you do it in a great wayand you reveal that part of
yourself and you arelight-hearted about it, but you
do demonstrate that quality andyou do it incredibly well.
(52:21):
I think the hard thing when oneturns up to be a leader or a
role model is that the pressurefeels great, because who have I?
Who am I now accountable to?
Yeah, and so in my world, I'maccountable to life because I've
been given this gift of lifenow.
Now it's my job to give back,because I nearly died a couple
of times.
(52:41):
So that is my gravitas withregards to the situation.
Everybody else is different, butthat was how I saw it.
So I thought it's my job now tofind a way to create meaningful
content that improves thequality of other people's lives,
because my life has beenblessed to be improved.
So what if I could share mydownfalls of where I went wrong
(53:06):
and mistaken, how I turned itaround?
And I think that that's great.
But we do put a lot of pressureon ourselves, and I'd like to
go back to this question thatyou mentioned earlier, the
statement you said, which wasit's very difficult to say no to
certain things.
So how have you found that andhow could that help the audience
?
Where have you learned to sayno?
Speaker 1 (53:27):
For me, it really
comes back to having that clear
vision, because that is thefilter through which I'm able to
make the decision.
Now, some things are easier tosay no to than others, right,
such as.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
I'll give you a very
recent example.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
And this is quite a
wholesome example actually.
So I'm not embarrassing myselftoo much here, but one of the
things that I decided I neededto say no to was more the
nightlife side of things,because it was affecting my
sleep a lot and it was thereforeaffecting the quality of my
work, the way that I could showup for my clients and for my
(54:04):
audience.
So I replaced, really,nightlife with golf, with
daytime activities, with sport,with sunshine things that
actually make me happier.
And then, on saturday night, myfriend says, like I've actually
got this, uh this like 1100gift card at this steakhouse.
We're gonna go.
It's on me, I can't.
(54:24):
Can't get the table to nineo'clock, though, and I have to
say it sounds great, but I gotta.
I gotta be in bed actually,because, uh, the next morning
I'm gonna go wake up and I'mgonna do a bunch of videos and
I'm gonna do a bunch of calls.
So was difficult.
That was something thatpreviously I would have said yes
to, and a previous, previousversion of me would have gone
there and then gone to the barsafterwards and maybe got home at
(54:44):
three in the morning, and maybenot by himself either.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
OK.
So question how did you feel bysaying no, I mean afterwards
Once you'd had that conversationwith your friend?
You know, because I'm trying toget to the audience here,
because I'm not trying to getyou saying no to everything, but
but choose it wisely.
So how did james feel after hehung up that phone, having good
(55:11):
because I go back to the visionand I go.
Speaker 1 (55:14):
I've just made a
decision that brings me slightly
closer to that vision, Whereasif I'd said yes and it's not
about the actual act itself,it's about the knock on
consequences that would havetaken me further away.
Now I think that's.
It's an interesting example,because going out for dinner
with your friends is what Iwould consider quite a healthy,
nice activity.
(55:34):
But I'd also done loads of that, Like we.
I played golf with my friendthe other day.
We'd been out for some nonalcoholic drinks during the
daytime, so my cup was full, inthat sense, of my vision.
So I do come back to thatvision, because that's just a
decision making tool that ismuch more objective, right?
So if people don't have that,then it's harder to say what's
(55:55):
good and what's bad, what youshould say no to.
Speaker 2 (55:58):
I really like your
answer there, and I think it
really boils down to askingyourself is this taking me to or
away from what I'm trying toachieve, and everything does, it
can actually be a little bitscary, right.
You can literally think is thisgoing to move me towards my goal
?
Yes or no?
Yeah, and sometimes you don'tknow until you do the thing.
(56:19):
But I, I I had a challenge whenI was a few years ago, when I
was when I'd stopped drinking.
A lot of my friends were gettingmarried and I went on one stag
do, maybe two stag do's, andthey got really out of control.
So so all the rest of the gangI said no, I wasn't going to go
(56:41):
on the stag dues.
That was really quite tough,but I knew that that wasn't
going to serve the James Iwanted to become.
Yes, I knew that that wasn'tgoing to serve me being the best
version of myself, becauseotherwise I've got to hang
around in that energy and thatwasn't great for me.
And the energy I've got to hangaround in that energy and that
wasn't great for me and theenergy I was trying to cultivate
.
(57:01):
And what I find reallyinteresting is that sometimes,
when we put things off,something later shows up that is
so much better than you canpossibly imagine those little
sacrifices.
So, for instance this, thispodcast, the work that I'm doing
now helping private familiesand high net worth clients.
And you instance this, thispodcast, the work that I'm doing
now helping private familiesand high net worth clients and
you know, amazing leaders thatsacrifice, all those years, has
(57:27):
allowed me to be able to say Iknow what it takes to actually
say no.
Quite a lot, because when Ithink, because when it's yes,
it's like, oh my golly, I'm soin on this, you know.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
I think everybody
acknowledges that whatever they
would like to accomplish, therewill be sacrifice involved.
So now I actively look forthose sacrifices of what will I
have to say no to?
So then when I do say no to it,it feels more like I've said
yes to what I want.
Does that make?
Speaker 2 (57:57):
sense and you know
what, right there the audience
can go.
I know that this is the personI'm wanting to become.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
Yes, exactly, exactly
.
And there is that feeling of oh, I know, it's quite tempting,
maybe I would like to.
If you feel that, then that'squite a good sign, in my opinion
, of okay, well, maybe this isone of those things.
It's not always you have tomake that decision by yourself,
but I also like to think about,with a vision, there are
(58:27):
different elements to it andwhat's a good balance.
So, for example, if you'resaying no to every social
situation that comes your way,well, I wouldn't imagine that
the vision you have for the lifeyou want is one of social
isolation, right?
So you do have to say yes tocertain things and don't be
afraid.
Don't be afraid and try andsacrifice literally everything,
(58:50):
but know that there will bemoments along that journey where
previously you would have saidyes, but now, in the pursuit of
this higher goal, you're goingto say no, and then you can feel
good about having said no.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
Fantastic.
I mean in the last two yearsyou've created what you have on
YouTube, on TikTok, on Instagram.
You know what's your vision forthe next couple of years.
Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yeah, that's a good
question.
I would say that I don't have.
Well, my long-term vision andmy short-term vision is very
much the same.
It's just how quickly can I getthis done?
So for me, I'd say, a lot of itis quite personal and I don't
mind sharing that.
That includes finding a womanthat I can share my life with.
(59:32):
I'm very excited about buildinga family, having lots of
children, having a home where wecan do that and we can create
those memories together.
Obviously, there is a hugefinancial impetus on making that
happen.
In terms of my own legacy andmy own creative satisfaction.
I would like to be the mainmen's lifestyle YouTuber and
(59:54):
influencer.
I would like to be the mainmen's lifestyle YouTuber and
influencer.
I would like to reach thatpedestal.
I see that the content isdeveloping and growing in a way
that will help me get there, andthat also includes a couple of
brands and businesses that I'mworking on.
So obviously, I love workingwithin my private mentorship
(01:00:16):
group and helping people a bitmore one-to-one.
But also the shaving brand islaunching, probably in two to
three months.
I have a home artwork collectionthat's coming out, maybe by the
end of this week.
What I mean?
Your own artwork.
It's my own.
Well, I didn't paint it, but II worked with a designer to
create these canvas artworks.
(01:00:37):
I can send these to youafterwards.
Yeah, that for a for a for a.
This is something that came up.
Quite a lot was as a mandiscovers his more gentlemanly
side, how does he uh, furnishhis home?
Right, because a lot of decorand kind of home furnishing
advice for women, yeah, so Idecided to create the type of
(01:00:57):
artwork that that man might wishto have in his home brilliant,
love it.
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
I love it.
It's just a creative, purecreation, like carving out.
Oh yeah, made man a fantastic.
Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
I love that yeah, I'm
very into, just for me, the
creation and the satisfactionthat comes with that.
It's like something Iintrinsically just love.
It doesn't have to be foranything else, it's just the
pure act of creation and beingable to share that with people
so that they can introduce itinto their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Yeah, fantastic.
Well, james, we're very happyto try and support you on your
journey to being the person youwant to be and helping the
people that you're currentlyhelping, and even more so.
Thank you so much for sharingyour insights and your and your
knowledge and your wisdom.
Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
It's been so
enjoyable, um is there anything
else that you?
Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
might wish like to
say just to the audience, like
in closing yeah absolutely well.
Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
I do believe that the
foundation of pretty much
everything that we've spokenabout is a a sense of
self-respect, finding a way thatyou do feel like you deserve to
dress well, you deserve to havethese healthy habits, you
deserve to live the life that'sin your vision.
To the YouTube channel, gent Zwatch God knows how many hours
(01:02:20):
of videos I've made now over theyears and you'll find stuff
along those lines that will helpyou discover that sense.
Probably the biggest and mostrewarding thing that people tell
me is I always liked those guysthat dressed well.
I always wanted to be thatgentleman type, but I never felt
like I could be.
I didn't feel like I deservedthat.
But when I saw your videos, Ifelt you know, actually, yeah,
there's no reason why I can't dothis.
(01:02:41):
So when I hear that from people, that's the most rewarding
thing.
So if anybody feels that way,then I do encourage them to just
delve a little bit deeper andwithin a short space of time, I
think you'll be excited toembrace this better version of
yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Superb.
Well, we'll have all of thoselinks under the video and under
the podcast, James.
Thank you so much.
James Lawley is this week'sSuper Soul Model.
Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Thank you very much,
james, been a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
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