June 20, 2024 • 26 mins
What if shifting your focus could unlock true happiness and success?
In my latest episode of the Super Soul Model series, I explore the transformative power of minding your own business inspired by a recent episode with Neale Donald Walsch. Drawing inspiration from Theodore Roosevelt's timeless wisdom that "comparison is the thief of joy," I break down how directing your energy towards your own journey can preserve your vitality and keep you aligned with your goals. The first principle we introduce is all about staying true to what feels good for you, ensuring harmony and fulfillment in your life.
Next, we dive into the practice of tuning into your inner guidance and detaching from others' issues. We reveal how by focusing on your own emotions and practicing exercises like refraining from judgment for an hour, you can maintain a balanced state and conserve your energy. This mindful approach not only keeps you centered but also opens the door to more positive experiences, empowering you to lead a fulfilling life rich with well-being.
Finally, we discuss the importance of setting healthy boundaries as an act of self-respect and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Learn how saying no to what doesn't serve your highest good and staying present through meditation and creativity can recharge your energy. We highlight how filling your own cup of happiness can positively impact not just your life, but also those around you. Embrace self-empowerment and start each day with positive habits to set yourself up for endless possibilities.
Tune in for practical insights and strategies to master your own business and achieve your dreams.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the James Grant from podcast,
super Soul Model series, where Ihelp you tune and tap in to
your own natural state ofwell-being.
You're really, really gonnalike this episode because what
I'm going to share with you inthis episode is going to be life
transforming, and it's probablymy best episode yet.
And it's all about how to mindyour own business and get what
(00:22):
you really want.
Because when you mind your ownbusiness, essentially is what
you really want.
Because when you mind your ownbusiness, essentially is you're
minding your own energy andeverything is energy.
Folks.
And energy never lies becauseit just is.
And when you are giving yourattention to other people, you
are essentially spending yourenergy.
You're spending it like acurrency, and when it's not in a
(00:44):
productive way, you areessentially spending it and it's
never gonna come back.
And that's how a lot of peoplelose their energy.
They leak energy without themrealizing.
So I'm gonna share with you 10principles how to mind your own
business and get what you reallywant.
When you are minding your ownbusiness, you're not comparing
yourself to anybody else.
(01:05):
Theodore Roosevelt saidcomparison is the thief of joy,
and when you're comparing orlooking over your shoulder, it's
like you're giving your poweraway to someone else, and
there's this old adage, which isfocus on yourself, but people
are always concerned about howother people are perceiving them
or how other people areperceiving them or how other
people are thinking of them, butyou can never can control that.
(01:29):
The only thing you can evercontrol is what you're doing
with your energy and what you'redoing with your energy output
and where you're focusing yourattention, because if you're
comparing yourself to otherpeople, you don't know where
they're at on their journey, andso your comparison, if it makes
you feel bad, is going to takeaway any joy and any energetic
currency that you might have.
(01:50):
So you don't want to do that.
What you want to do is hold onto your energy, stay in your
lane, focus on what you've got,focus on yourself, and you're
going to hold on to your owncenter and you're going to hold
on to your own power.
Folks, this is absolutelylife-changing when you really
get this, that the only thingyou can control is making sure
you stay in your center, becauseyou cannot control what other
(02:12):
people are going to do, think orsay, but you can control how
you feel and the more you areholding onto your center,
staying in your true self,staying in your power, staying
in your own alignment, stayingin your own lane.
If we're going to use a caranalogy, you're not drifting off
onto the hard shoulder.
You're not drifting off intothe middle barrier with oncoming
(02:33):
traffic.
You're staying right in thelane.
This is what the Buddha wascalling the middle path, and
this is just an up-to-dateanalogy of it is.
When you stay in your lane, youfocus on yourself, you focus on
where you're going.
Then you are going to arrive atyour destination happily.
But if you're constantly lookingand complaining about what all
the other drivers are doing onthe road, then you're not
(02:54):
focusing on your own car andyour own journey and your own
destination.
You're basically spendingcurrency, spending energy that
will eventually make you run outof gas or, in other words, make
you run out of feel good energy.
Essentially, if you arefocusing on other people rather
than yourself, it's a bit likeyou going to a gas station in
(03:14):
your car and filling up someoneelse's car rather than yourself,
when you're not minding yourown business.
But when you're minding yourown business, you're just
filling up your car so that youcan drive away smoothly and
carefully.
So if you can get that, thenI'm going to share with you some
10 principles that are reallygoing to help you mind your own
business and get what you want,because as soon as you start
really focusing on yourself,doing all these principles,
(03:38):
you're going to notice you'regoing to have way more energy,
you're going to feel happier,you're going to feel freer, but,
most of all, you're going tofeel happier.
You're going to feel freer, but, most of all, you're going to
feel more fulfilled.
This is a huge thing.
If you were a golfer and youwere constantly looking at how
other people are playing theball and not focusing on your
next shot, or not focusing onwhere your lie is and what you
need to do in order to play thenext best shot, you're going to
(03:59):
lose because all your attentionis given to other people rather
than what you're doing, and alot of people get nerves, get
anxiety, because they'refocusing on what other people
are thinking and what otherpeople are doing, rather than on
themselves.
So be the person who learns howto focus on themselves and
enjoy these principles that I'mabout to explain.
So when you mind your ownbusiness, you're essentially
(04:22):
keeping your power, you'reholding onto your power, but
when you're your own business,you're essentially keeping your
power, you're holding on to yourpower.
But when you're focusing onother people, you're giving your
power away to them.
You're actually givingliterally an energetic currency
to somebody else, and then, whenyou've lost connection, you
tend to blame them.
If you've ever been skiing, thisis a perfect analogy.
Focus on where you're going,because if you don't, you end up
(04:44):
going into the back of somebody.
I know because I've done that.
So as soon as I startedfocusing on myself, it became so
much more enjoyable.
That is all you have to do.
It's a really simple premise,but sometimes we just don't get
this, because this is not whatwe're taught in school.
We're not taught to focus onourselves.
But I'm going to share with youthese principles, so let's get
started.
(05:05):
So number one, the firstprinciple, is stay true to what
feels good for you, and then younaturally stay in harmony.
You naturally stay in alignment.
So many people give their poweraway.
I know that I've given my poweraway because I, being a highly
sensitive person, have alwaystried to uplift and make people
feel better.
Now, uplifting is my naturalstate.
However, when I'm doing it atthe detriment of my own
(05:28):
well-being.
That's not cool.
So if you find yourself beingone of these types of people,
then what you need to do isharmonize with yourself, fill
your own cup up and then go andhelp.
It's like that old airlineanalogy that if the plane's
going to go down, make sure youput the oxygen mask first before
helping anybody else.
This is because when you dothat, that analogy is all about
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fill yourself up and then gohelp.
But if you're trying to fill upother people or trying to
uplift other people or trying tomake other people feel amazing
because you don't feel goodenough for one reason or another
, you are not in your own power,you are not staying in your
lone lane and you are notfocusing on yourself.
This is not minding your ownbusiness.
This is essentially giving youraway.
If somebody's going through atough time maybe it's a health
(06:12):
condition, maybe it's afinancial condition, or maybe
it's a relationship challengeall you can do is be that light
bearer.
You can be that faith keepersaying I'm sure it's going to
work out for you.
I know it's going to work outfor you and even though you're
not up close in personal withthem on a moment to moment basis
, just having that I'm sure it'sgoing to work out really,
(06:36):
really empowers that otherperson and it means you're not
minding their business, you'reminding your own.
Now that's exactly what I saidto my mum the other day when she
lost her keys.
Seems really simple analogy,but we can use this on a micro
scale, which is like the keys,or a macro scale, which might
mean a health condition, bysaying I'm sure this is going to
work out for you.
I did that with my mom and,funnily enough, within about an
(06:59):
hour, an hour and a half, shecalled back to say oh, I found
my keys.
You never guess where I foundthem.
She goes thank you, and I saidwhat for?
And she said for, just likebeing sure, with zero doubt,
that I'd find them, even thoughI was really frustrated or upset
that I'd lost them.
That's the power that we have toinfluence.
(07:19):
When we mind our own businessand we're not attached to other
people, we're not attached towhat's going on in their life.
We can be lovingly focused andcompassionate in their life, but
we don't have to be attached,which means giving your power
away to worry, concern orwhatever they're going through,
because if you give your worryor concern to other people,
you're not actually helping them, you're hindering them, but
most of all, you're hinderingyourself.
(07:40):
Number two tapping and tuninginto your own inner guidance.
Your emotions are your guide,and when you feel great, you
know you're in check.
But when you don't feel great,you know something's a little
bit amiss, something's out ofalignment.
So your job is to listen to thesignals that your emotions are
telling you, and when youremotions are saying something's
(08:03):
a little bit off here, that is asignal to say I need to tune
back in with myself.
I need to focus back in onmyself because I'm giving my
power, away, my energy, I'mspending energy, currency right
now on something that doesn'tfeel good and it's costing me
this bad feeling.
That's the difference.
So those feelings are feedbacksignals telling you that you
(08:24):
need to tune in with yourself,recalibrate with yourself, get
yourself back into alignment andmaybe just find another way of
looking at the scenario thatwill help you ease those angst,
heavy bad feelings that come up,because all the feeling is is
basically a signal sayingsomething that you're thinking,
something that you're focused on, is out of alignment right now.
(08:45):
So the feedback that you'regetting is this heavy emotion
and it's not in congruency withthe truth, which is they're all
as well despite outer conditions.
So when you get that, justremember that signal when you
feel a little bit off is to sayI need to retune and refocus
back in with me again.
And one of the best ways you cando that is go back into the
(09:08):
body, because going into thebody allows you to feel these
feelings, acknowledge them andthen move on.
One of the things I love to dois, when I notice something's a
little bit off and I feel thisfeeling, I acknowledge the
feeling and say do you know what?
This is what I'm feeling and Iprefer to feel this, I prefer to
feel good, I prefer to feellighter.
(09:28):
Otherwise, I try and soothemyself back into a better
feeling state by saying thingslike it's going to be okay, it's
going to be all right, this isgoing to work out One way or
another, this is going to beokay.
Now, those types of thoughts,those types of feelings help me
come back into my center andwill help you coming back into
your center over and over again,and that's one of the best
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things you can do to focus onyourself when you're feeling a
little off and those signals arecoming.
We sometimes look past emotionalguidance as just something with
no impact.
In fact, your emotionalguidance, feedback, is perhaps
the most important thing you canbe aware of.
A good feeling means yourthoughts are in alignment and a
bad feeling means your thoughtsare out of alignment.
(10:12):
It's that simple.
But you've got to be trained infeeling and looking and
noticing the feedback thatyou're getting upon the subject
that you focus on, and it'susually one of these three
things finances, relationshipsor health.
One of those three things isusually what you're getting
feedback on.
So constantly, constantly askyourself how am I feeling?
(10:34):
And if something's not right,ask yourself what's bothering me
and then say how you'd preferto feel, which is I want to feel
better about this situation.
Really simple, but this helpsyou mind your own business and
get focused back into your bodyand get focused back into
alignment again.
Number three releasing judgment.
So whenever we're judging,we're not freeing the mind.
(10:56):
We're constantly in the mindand not minding our own business
.
Every time you're judgingsomeone or something, you're in
the mind, and every time you'renot judging somebody, you're
just accepting what is.
And when you accept what is,whether you like it or not,
you're free in the mind and thebest experiences that have ever
come to you.
You've actually had a free mindbecause you're so present,
(11:17):
you're so in the moment.
So here's a little exercise foryou to release judgment.
Make it into a game For an hourtoday.
Just judge no one or no thing,and just in that hour just look
at things.
Or a phone call that comes upor a text that comes up or a
piece of news that you discoverDon't judge it, just look at it
(11:38):
and go.
It is what it is.
That word, it is what it is,releases all judgment.
And if you can do it for anhour, then try it for half a day
.
This is huge.
Just playing this game, justgoing for half a day.
I'm not going to judge anything.
I'm not going to judge the waysomeone behaves.
I'm not going to judge whatsomebody does, because when I do
, I'm basically giving my poweraway.
(11:59):
Judgment is basically thequickest and fastest energy zap
or energy leak that you can have.
So why would you want to giveyour energy away to judging
people and judging things andwatching drama unnecessarily?
You wouldn't, because you knowthat when you're doing that,
you're only going to see morered lights and you want to see
green lights, and one of thebest ways to see more green
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lights is to release judgment.
I mean, it sounds really simplein principle, and it is, but to
execute it requires suchdiscipline and mastery, and
that's what this episode is allabout.
That's why I said you're reallygoing to like this episode,
because it's practical, and whenthings are super practical, you
can apply them and get resultstoday.
You know you don't need to wait20 years like I did.
(12:43):
You just get results today andwhen you're getting good feeling
responses to some of theseideas that I'm sharing with you,
you know you're on track andthat is amazing, because you've
just not taught this stuff inschool.
People don't go into detailabout this, but I've had to look
and ask myself these questionsbecause I was like this is not
right, I'm looking at this wrong, and so that's why I love to
(13:05):
share this with you guys.
Number four is cultivatingpositive expectation.
Trust that everything that'shappening to you and to others
particularly if you're a parentand you're caring about your
child one of the greatest thingsyou can do is to trust that
everything's working out forthem, despite how things may
seem right now, and mistakeshelp people make better
(13:28):
decisions going forwards, andthat's the same for you.
You couldn't have gone to asfar as you've gotten without
making some errors or mistakesalong the way.
And if things are working outfor you and when you're
cultivating this positiveexpectation for yourself, you
can also give that gift tosomebody else, particularly
someone close to you.
And if you find that people arehaving a hard time, just be
(13:51):
that lighthouse where you cansay do you know what?
I don't know how this is goingto work out, but I really
believe this will work out foryou.
By giving somebody the gift ofpositive expectation, you can
influence that person tosomething wonderful, and that
was all due to your power ofinfluence from being in your
center and minding your ownbusiness.
(14:11):
But when you're not mindingyour own business, you can
expect the worst for somebody.
And when you're expecting theworst for somebody, you're also
losing your center and givingyour power away and maybe
influencing them to have anegative outcome.
We don't want that.
We want to collaborate in thisworld.
This is one of the best ways weconnect by collaborating with
one another.
And when we can collaboratefrom a position of power and
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centeredness and calm and flowand expectation of good stuff,
then you are highly influentialto transform the lives of many.
In addition, if you really wantto help people visualize loving
and happy outcomes and then intime, as you get used to these
beautiful images that youconjure up in your mind, you're
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creating a positive expectationnot only for yourself but for
others, and what goes aroundcertainly comes around.
Number five become anappreciator.
To appreciate is to tune andtap into your own natural state
of well-being.
When you shift your focus toappreciating what's in front of
you, what you've got around you,the people in your life, the
(15:16):
things that you have, thematerial things you have your
home, your car, your bankaccount, whatever you've got,
whatever you appreciate, you'realways going to get more, which
holds you in your center.
But when you complain, you'reactually taking all that
beautiful currency and spendingit and leaking it.
Appreciation allows you toenjoy life with very little
effort and to appreciate is easy, but to complain requires a lot
(15:40):
of energy, a lot of heavyenergy, and appreciation is a
really high light energy.
So become an appreciator andnotice how you'll mind your own
business and when you appreciate, you always get more to
appreciate.
Number six practice self-care.
When you're practicingself-care, you're essentially
tuning back in to your owncenteredness and your own power.
(16:02):
So things like prioritizingyour wellbeing with meditation
practice, with prayer, withexercise, movement and nutrition
and dance and creativity everytime you're prioritizing your
well-being and getting enoughrest, by the way, every time
you're prioritizing yourwell-being, you're saying yes to
being in your center, you'resaying yes to green lights.
(16:25):
And every time you are lookingover your shoulder, every time
time you've got fear, worry,anxiety, concern, doubt, you're
giving your attention to thatwhich you don't want, and that
which you don't want will grow.
So prioritize your well-beingand you'll notice that what you
want will grow.
And when you're looking overyour shoulder and giving your
attention to that which youdon't want, that will also grow.
(16:47):
So be super mindful about whereyou're spending your attention,
because your attention, becauseyour attention is a currency
and you're either giving it awayto other people by not minding
your own business, or you'regiving it back to yourself by
filling your own cup up.
Number seven setting healthyboundaries.
When you set healthy boundaries, it's an act of self-love and
(17:08):
it's also an act of self-respect.
Ask yourself this and betruthful how many times have you
said yes to something when youreally mean no.
If you can answer thattruthfully, then you're going to
realize that those times whenyou've said yes, when you really
mean no, was a lack ofself-respect and a lack of
self-love, which means that youwere overcompensating your
(17:29):
energy and you were not in yourcenter.
You were minding someone else'sbusiness rather than your own.
Anyone who has self-respect andself-love won't do anything
that isn't for the highest goodof themselves and other people,
and if it's at the detriment ofyour own conscious wellbeing
meaning you know it's out ofalignment.
Perhaps it's doing someactivity that you know is not
(17:52):
correct and yet you do it anyway.
That's a lack of self-respectright there.
I know, because that was me andit was only when I decided that
I was going to have a little bitmore self-respect and self-love
that I could look back into myexperience and go.
I made better choices.
Now we're all going to makemistakes and forgive yourself
for making mistakes, and that'sthe only way you ever really
learn.
Words never teach.
(18:14):
Experience is the best teacher,but recognize when you are
given a choice.
Is this for my highest good?
And I love using that question.
Is this for my highest good?
And I love using that question.
Is this for my highest good ifI'm given this choice, and if it
is, I follow through.
And if it doesn't feel likeit's for my highest good,
because there's not a good,light feeling with it, I don't
do it.
(18:34):
It's a simple indication, andif you're given something to do
and you're unsure, you couldalso ask what would love do here
?
Would love mean that I'm takingcare of myself, which means I'm
not going to do that, or wouldlove mean I'm going to go and
give of myself?
You know, because it's allabout the feedback you get from
your emotions, whether somethingfeels light and good and
uplifting or flat and heavy, youknow.
(18:56):
So that's what your emotionalguidance system is all about.
That is what your emotions arethere.
They're there to give youfeedback.
So ask yourself those questionsand your body will give you the
answer in the terms of subtlefeedback, emotional feelings.
(19:17):
Number eight staying present.
Engage in the here and now.
Here and now is the only placewe can ever be, unless you're in
your mind thinking about thefuture or the past.
So being here now and stayingin the present is one of the
greatest ways you can rechargeyour tank.
That's why meditation is sogood.
That is why being creative isso good.
That is why, when you'reimmersed in an activity that you
love, you're so present thatfills up your cup.
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You're so focused on yourself.
In that moment You're notleaking any energy.
But as soon as you startgetting into your mind, thinking
about other people, wonderingwhat they're doing, maybe
complaining about somebody, youbegin to leak your energy.
So be very mindful of whatyou're giving your attention to.
That is why staying in thepresent is so powerful.
Some of the happiest momentsyou've had, some of the most
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blissful moments you've ever had, you probably weren't even
thinking.
You were being.
You were in a state of beingthat was so fulfilling.
And that's because there's nothought going on.
You're just immersed in thisgood feeling, energy.
Imagine you've gone to a goodparty and the music's great and
around wonderful people, andyou're just like, ah, this is
such a great party.
The reason why it's such agreat party is because of the
(20:22):
way it makes you feel, whichmeans you are present.
But when you are worrying,fussing, stressing, you're in
your head.
You're not minding your ownbusiness.
You're worried about the futureor you're worried about the
past.
You're not present.
That is why staying in thepresent is so powerful for you
to helping you get what you want, because when you appreciate
(20:42):
and acknowledge and accept whatis, what is will change and
bring you more good stuff.
It means you're not pushingagainst life, it means you're
accepting and allowing it.
Number nine follow your joy.
Pursue activities and thoughtsthat make you feel happy, that
make you feel jubilant, thatmake you feel celebratory,
because when you pursue thingsthat make you feel uplifted in
(21:03):
my case it's music in music, inmy case it's exercise, in my
case it's going to the beach.
In my case it's hanging outwith great people, it's going to
really nice restaurants there'sso many things you can think of
that really fill you up, andjoy is the greatest magnet you
can have, and when you are doingthings that you love to do, you
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are only going to attract moregood stuff into your life.
We're here to experience asmuch joy as we can muster every
single day, and it's so easy tojust watch the kids, because
they're constantly in thisfeeling of joy most of the time,
whereas adults it kind of getssort of knocked out of you a
little bit because life gets alittle bit serious.
But we need to kind of learnhow to return back to this
(21:44):
joyful essence of who we reallyare.
When you come from this placeof a full cup, a full state of
happiness, a full state offulfillment, you are fulfilled
from within and now you'reoverflowing that joy, those good
feelings, those good vibes outinto the world, also uplifting
other people.
The greatest gift you can giveif you're an uplifter is to give
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the gift of your own happiness,give the gift of love, give the
gift of joy, give the gift oflaughter.
These are the types of thingswe naturally want to give when
our cup is full.
But when you're minding otherpeople's business, not minding
your own, what you're doing isyou're spending all your joy,
you're spending all thatcurrency wasted and it's not
(22:27):
going to come back until youreset yourself and get back in
your own lane, get back in yourown alignment.
Number 10 you've got to trustthat the universe knows what
it's doing and that the universeis guiding everyone on this
planet, and especially you.
Have faith that your needs arebeing met.
Have faith that you're beingguided to something great, even
(22:48):
though you might not see it yet.
Every challenge, every mishap,everything that seems very
difficult for you, is a setupfor something great in another
season.
Just remember that.
And that's the same for otherpeople, no matter what they're
going through.
So if you're meddling in otherpeople's affairs, you're not
trusting that life is going toset them up for something
wonderful in another season.
(23:09):
Greatest thing you can give issometimes just a little distance
between the people you reallycare about and yourself and
being in their personal affairs.
If you can just stand back fromthose affairs and just know
that, just like when a seed isplanted, it's not going to
mature, and just know that, justlike when a seed is planted,
it's not gonna mature into afruit tree this year, it might
take a few years before itreally bears fruit.
(23:30):
That is the same with trying tomess with other people's
affairs, trying to get intoother people's affairs and
really care about them.
If people are meddling in yourlife, it's because they are
spending their own currency,they're not focusing on
themselves, and sometimes aparent will do that.
But if you are a parent, you'vegot to be conscious that you're
(23:51):
not actually doing that in yourchild's life.
Whilst you want to guide them,you've also got to trust that
there is something bigger here,that the universe is navigating
each one of us to our highestgoods and when we can focus on
what's important in the here andnow and trust that there will
be a setup in seasons to come,despite whatever challenges
(24:12):
other people may be goingthrough or a challenge that you
may be going through.
This gives you a lot greatersense of peace as you move
throughout your day.
By following these principles,you're gonna enhance your own
power.
You're gonna enhance the greenlights in your life because
you're recalibrating to yourself, to your own energy.
This is incredible for seeingmore green lights in your life.
(24:33):
But when you're not minding yourown business, when you're
trying to meddle in otherpeople's affairs, you're giving
your power away.
There's no one to fix here,there's only you to get in your
own power and fill yourself up.
Each day you fill yourself upwith your own healthy habits,
with your own healthy mindset.
Then what you're doing isyou're starting the day afresh
with all sorts of possibilitiesand chances and opportunities
(24:56):
that can come your way.
But if you're meddling in otherpeople's affairs and not
minding your own business,you're saying yes to red lights.
So be mindful of theseprinciples and set them into
action.
Try them, apply them and getyour own experience, because
experience is the teacher, notthese words.
If you've enjoyed this episodeand you've gotten great value
from it, then please remember tohit the like and subscribe and
(25:19):
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this, or more shows like this,because this content is really
changing lives and when youbegin to assist other people in
helping transform their own life, it's also coming back to you.
Until the next episode, I wishyou a wonderful week ahead and
green lights all the way.
Hello and welcome to the James Grant from podcast,
super Soul Model series, where Ihelp you tune and tap in to
your own natural state ofwell-being.
You're really, really gonnalike this episode because what
I'm going to share with you inthis episode is going to be life
transforming, and it's probablymy best episode yet.
And it's all about how to mindyour own business and get what
(00:22):
you really want.
Because when you mind your ownbusiness, essentially is what
you really want.
Because when you mind your ownbusiness, essentially is you're
minding your own energy andeverything is energy.
Folks.
And energy never lies becauseit just is.
And when you are giving yourattention to other people, you
are essentially spending yourenergy.
You're spending it like acurrency, and when it's not in a
(00:44):
productive way, you areessentially spending it and it's
never gonna come back.
And that's how a lot of peoplelose their energy.
They leak energy without themrealizing.
So I'm gonna share with you 10principles how to mind your own
business and get what you reallywant.
When you are minding your ownbusiness, you're not comparing
yourself to anybody else.
(01:05):
Theodore Roosevelt saidcomparison is the thief of joy,
and when you're comparing orlooking over your shoulder, it's
like you're giving your poweraway to someone else, and
there's this old adage, which isfocus on yourself, but people
are always concerned about howother people are perceiving them
or how other people areperceiving them or how other
people are thinking of them, butyou can never can control that.
(01:29):
The only thing you can evercontrol is what you're doing
with your energy and what you'redoing with your energy output
and where you're focusing yourattention, because if you're
comparing yourself to otherpeople, you don't know where
they're at on their journey, andso your comparison, if it makes
you feel bad, is going to takeaway any joy and any energetic
currency that you might have.
(01:50):
So you don't want to do that.
What you want to do is hold onto your energy, stay in your
lane, focus on what you've got,focus on yourself, and you're
going to hold on to your owncenter and you're going to hold
on to your own power.
Folks, this is absolutelylife-changing when you really
get this, that the only thingyou can control is making sure
you stay in your center, becauseyou cannot control what other
(02:12):
people are going to do, think orsay, but you can control how
you feel and the more you areholding onto your center,
staying in your true self,staying in your power, staying
in your own alignment, stayingin your own lane.
If we're going to use a caranalogy, you're not drifting off
onto the hard shoulder.
You're not drifting off intothe middle barrier with oncoming
(02:33):
traffic.
You're staying right in thelane.
This is what the Buddha wascalling the middle path, and
this is just an up-to-dateanalogy of it is.
When you stay in your lane, youfocus on yourself, you focus on
where you're going.
Then you are going to arrive atyour destination happily.
But if you're constantly lookingand complaining about what all
the other drivers are doing onthe road, then you're not
(02:54):
focusing on your own car andyour own journey and your own
destination.
You're basically spendingcurrency, spending energy that
will eventually make you run outof gas or, in other words, make
you run out of feel good energy.
Essentially, if you arefocusing on other people rather
than yourself, it's a bit likeyou going to a gas station in
(03:14):
your car and filling up someoneelse's car rather than yourself,
when you're not minding yourown business.
But when you're minding yourown business, you're just
filling up your car so that youcan drive away smoothly and
carefully.
So if you can get that, thenI'm going to share with you some
10 principles that are reallygoing to help you mind your own
business and get what you want,because as soon as you start
really focusing on yourself,doing all these principles,
(03:38):
you're going to notice you'regoing to have way more energy,
you're going to feel happier,you're going to feel freer, but,
most of all, you're going tofeel happier.
You're going to feel freer, but, most of all, you're going to
feel more fulfilled.
This is a huge thing.
If you were a golfer and youwere constantly looking at how
other people are playing theball and not focusing on your
next shot, or not focusing onwhere your lie is and what you
need to do in order to play thenext best shot, you're going to
(03:59):
lose because all your attentionis given to other people rather
than what you're doing, and alot of people get nerves, get
anxiety, because they'refocusing on what other people
are thinking and what otherpeople are doing, rather than on
themselves.
So be the person who learns howto focus on themselves and
enjoy these principles that I'mabout to explain.
So when you mind your ownbusiness, you're essentially
(04:22):
keeping your power, you'reholding onto your power, but
when you're your own business,you're essentially keeping your
power, you're holding on to yourpower.
But when you're focusing onother people, you're giving your
power away to them.
You're actually givingliterally an energetic currency
to somebody else, and then, whenyou've lost connection, you
tend to blame them.
If you've ever been skiing, thisis a perfect analogy.
Focus on where you're going,because if you don't, you end up
(04:44):
going into the back of somebody.
I know because I've done that.
So as soon as I startedfocusing on myself, it became so
much more enjoyable.
That is all you have to do.
It's a really simple premise,but sometimes we just don't get
this, because this is not whatwe're taught in school.
We're not taught to focus onourselves.
But I'm going to share with youthese principles, so let's get
started.
(05:05):
So number one, the firstprinciple, is stay true to what
feels good for you, and then younaturally stay in harmony.
You naturally stay in alignment.
So many people give their poweraway.
I know that I've given my poweraway because I, being a highly
sensitive person, have alwaystried to uplift and make people
feel better.
Now, uplifting is my naturalstate.
However, when I'm doing it atthe detriment of my own
(05:28):
well-being.
That's not cool.
So if you find yourself beingone of these types of people,
then what you need to do isharmonize with yourself, fill
your own cup up and then go andhelp.
It's like that old airlineanalogy that if the plane's
going to go down, make sure youput the oxygen mask first before
helping anybody else.
This is because when you dothat, that analogy is all about
(05:51):
fill yourself up and then gohelp.
But if you're trying to fill upother people or trying to
uplift other people or trying tomake other people feel amazing
because you don't feel goodenough for one reason or another
, you are not in your own power,you are not staying in your
lone lane and you are notfocusing on yourself.
This is not minding your ownbusiness.
This is essentially giving youraway.
If somebody's going through atough time maybe it's a health
(06:12):
condition, maybe it's afinancial condition, or maybe
it's a relationship challengeall you can do is be that light
bearer.
You can be that faith keepersaying I'm sure it's going to
work out for you.
I know it's going to work outfor you and even though you're
not up close in personal withthem on a moment to moment basis
, just having that I'm sure it'sgoing to work out really,
(06:36):
really empowers that otherperson and it means you're not
minding their business, you'reminding your own.
Now that's exactly what I saidto my mum the other day when she
lost her keys.
Seems really simple analogy,but we can use this on a micro
scale, which is like the keys,or a macro scale, which might
mean a health condition, bysaying I'm sure this is going to
work out for you.
I did that with my mom and,funnily enough, within about an
(06:59):
hour, an hour and a half, shecalled back to say oh, I found
my keys.
You never guess where I foundthem.
She goes thank you, and I saidwhat for?
And she said for, just likebeing sure, with zero doubt,
that I'd find them, even thoughI was really frustrated or upset
that I'd lost them.
That's the power that we have toinfluence.
(07:19):
When we mind our own businessand we're not attached to other
people, we're not attached towhat's going on in their life.
We can be lovingly focused andcompassionate in their life, but
we don't have to be attached,which means giving your power
away to worry, concern orwhatever they're going through,
because if you give your worryor concern to other people,
you're not actually helping them, you're hindering them, but
most of all, you're hinderingyourself.
(07:40):
Number two tapping and tuninginto your own inner guidance.
Your emotions are your guide,and when you feel great, you
know you're in check.
But when you don't feel great,you know something's a little
bit amiss, something's out ofalignment.
So your job is to listen to thesignals that your emotions are
telling you, and when youremotions are saying something's
(08:03):
a little bit off here, that is asignal to say I need to tune
back in with myself.
I need to focus back in onmyself because I'm giving my
power, away, my energy, I'mspending energy, currency right
now on something that doesn'tfeel good and it's costing me
this bad feeling.
That's the difference.
So those feelings are feedbacksignals telling you that you
(08:24):
need to tune in with yourself,recalibrate with yourself, get
yourself back into alignment andmaybe just find another way of
looking at the scenario thatwill help you ease those angst,
heavy bad feelings that come up,because all the feeling is is
basically a signal sayingsomething that you're thinking,
something that you're focused on, is out of alignment right now.
(08:45):
So the feedback that you'regetting is this heavy emotion
and it's not in congruency withthe truth, which is they're all
as well despite outer conditions.
So when you get that, justremember that signal when you
feel a little bit off is to sayI need to retune and refocus
back in with me again.
And one of the best ways you cando that is go back into the
(09:08):
body, because going into thebody allows you to feel these
feelings, acknowledge them andthen move on.
One of the things I love to dois, when I notice something's a
little bit off and I feel thisfeeling, I acknowledge the
feeling and say do you know what?
This is what I'm feeling and Iprefer to feel this, I prefer to
feel good, I prefer to feellighter.
(09:28):
Otherwise, I try and soothemyself back into a better
feeling state by saying thingslike it's going to be okay, it's
going to be all right, this isgoing to work out One way or
another, this is going to beokay.
Now, those types of thoughts,those types of feelings help me
come back into my center andwill help you coming back into
your center over and over again,and that's one of the best
(09:50):
things you can do to focus onyourself when you're feeling a
little off and those signals arecoming.
We sometimes look past emotionalguidance as just something with
no impact.
In fact, your emotionalguidance, feedback, is perhaps
the most important thing you canbe aware of.
A good feeling means yourthoughts are in alignment and a
bad feeling means your thoughtsare out of alignment.
(10:12):
It's that simple.
But you've got to be trained infeeling and looking and
noticing the feedback thatyou're getting upon the subject
that you focus on, and it'susually one of these three
things finances, relationshipsor health.
One of those three things isusually what you're getting
feedback on.
So constantly, constantly askyourself how am I feeling?
(10:34):
And if something's not right,ask yourself what's bothering me
and then say how you'd preferto feel, which is I want to feel
better about this situation.
Really simple, but this helpsyou mind your own business and
get focused back into your bodyand get focused back into
alignment again.
Number three releasing judgment.
So whenever we're judging,we're not freeing the mind.
(10:56):
We're constantly in the mindand not minding our own business
.
Every time you're judgingsomeone or something, you're in
the mind, and every time you'renot judging somebody, you're
just accepting what is.
And when you accept what is,whether you like it or not,
you're free in the mind and thebest experiences that have ever
come to you.
You've actually had a free mindbecause you're so present,
(11:17):
you're so in the moment.
So here's a little exercise foryou to release judgment.
Make it into a game For an hourtoday.
Just judge no one or no thing,and just in that hour just look
at things.
Or a phone call that comes upor a text that comes up or a
piece of news that you discoverDon't judge it, just look at it
(11:38):
and go.
It is what it is.
That word, it is what it is,releases all judgment.
And if you can do it for anhour, then try it for half a day
.
This is huge.
Just playing this game, justgoing for half a day.
I'm not going to judge anything.
I'm not going to judge the waysomeone behaves.
I'm not going to judge whatsomebody does, because when I do
, I'm basically giving my poweraway.
(11:59):
Judgment is basically thequickest and fastest energy zap
or energy leak that you can have.
So why would you want to giveyour energy away to judging
people and judging things andwatching drama unnecessarily?
You wouldn't, because you knowthat when you're doing that,
you're only going to see morered lights and you want to see
green lights, and one of thebest ways to see more green
(12:21):
lights is to release judgment.
I mean, it sounds really simplein principle, and it is, but to
execute it requires suchdiscipline and mastery, and
that's what this episode is allabout.
That's why I said you're reallygoing to like this episode,
because it's practical, and whenthings are super practical, you
can apply them and get resultstoday.
You know you don't need to wait20 years like I did.
(12:43):
You just get results today andwhen you're getting good feeling
responses to some of theseideas that I'm sharing with you,
you know you're on track andthat is amazing, because you've
just not taught this stuff inschool.
People don't go into detailabout this, but I've had to look
and ask myself these questionsbecause I was like this is not
right, I'm looking at this wrong, and so that's why I love to
(13:05):
share this with you guys.
Number four is cultivatingpositive expectation.
Trust that everything that'shappening to you and to others
particularly if you're a parentand you're caring about your
child one of the greatest thingsyou can do is to trust that
everything's working out forthem, despite how things may
seem right now, and mistakeshelp people make better
(13:28):
decisions going forwards, andthat's the same for you.
You couldn't have gone to asfar as you've gotten without
making some errors or mistakesalong the way.
And if things are working outfor you and when you're
cultivating this positiveexpectation for yourself, you
can also give that gift tosomebody else, particularly
someone close to you.
And if you find that people arehaving a hard time, just be
(13:51):
that lighthouse where you cansay do you know what?
I don't know how this is goingto work out, but I really
believe this will work out foryou.
By giving somebody the gift ofpositive expectation, you can
influence that person tosomething wonderful, and that
was all due to your power ofinfluence from being in your
center and minding your ownbusiness.
(14:11):
But when you're not mindingyour own business, you can
expect the worst for somebody.
And when you're expecting theworst for somebody, you're also
losing your center and givingyour power away and maybe
influencing them to have anegative outcome.
We don't want that.
We want to collaborate in thisworld.
This is one of the best ways weconnect by collaborating with
one another.
And when we can collaboratefrom a position of power and
(14:35):
centeredness and calm and flowand expectation of good stuff,
then you are highly influentialto transform the lives of many.
In addition, if you really wantto help people visualize loving
and happy outcomes and then intime, as you get used to these
beautiful images that youconjure up in your mind, you're
(14:56):
creating a positive expectationnot only for yourself but for
others, and what goes aroundcertainly comes around.
Number five become anappreciator.
To appreciate is to tune andtap into your own natural state
of well-being.
When you shift your focus toappreciating what's in front of
you, what you've got around you,the people in your life, the
(15:16):
things that you have, thematerial things you have your
home, your car, your bankaccount, whatever you've got,
whatever you appreciate, you'realways going to get more, which
holds you in your center.
But when you complain, you'reactually taking all that
beautiful currency and spendingit and leaking it.
Appreciation allows you toenjoy life with very little
effort and to appreciate is easy, but to complain requires a lot
(15:40):
of energy, a lot of heavyenergy, and appreciation is a
really high light energy.
So become an appreciator andnotice how you'll mind your own
business and when you appreciate, you always get more to
appreciate.
Number six practice self-care.
When you're practicingself-care, you're essentially
tuning back in to your owncenteredness and your own power.
(16:02):
So things like prioritizingyour wellbeing with meditation
practice, with prayer, withexercise, movement and nutrition
and dance and creativity everytime you're prioritizing your
well-being and getting enoughrest, by the way, every time
you're prioritizing yourwell-being, you're saying yes to
being in your center, you'resaying yes to green lights.
(16:25):
And every time you are lookingover your shoulder, every time
time you've got fear, worry,anxiety, concern, doubt, you're
giving your attention to thatwhich you don't want, and that
which you don't want will grow.
So prioritize your well-beingand you'll notice that what you
want will grow.
And when you're looking overyour shoulder and giving your
attention to that which youdon't want, that will also grow.
(16:47):
So be super mindful about whereyou're spending your attention,
because your attention, becauseyour attention is a currency
and you're either giving it awayto other people by not minding
your own business, or you'regiving it back to yourself by
filling your own cup up.
Number seven setting healthyboundaries.
When you set healthy boundaries, it's an act of self-love and
(17:08):
it's also an act of self-respect.
Ask yourself this and betruthful how many times have you
said yes to something when youreally mean no.
If you can answer thattruthfully, then you're going to
realize that those times whenyou've said yes, when you really
mean no, was a lack ofself-respect and a lack of
self-love, which means that youwere overcompensating your
(17:29):
energy and you were not in yourcenter.
You were minding someone else'sbusiness rather than your own.
Anyone who has self-respect andself-love won't do anything
that isn't for the highest goodof themselves and other people,
and if it's at the detriment ofyour own conscious wellbeing
meaning you know it's out ofalignment.
Perhaps it's doing someactivity that you know is not
(17:52):
correct and yet you do it anyway.
That's a lack of self-respectright there.
I know, because that was me andit was only when I decided that
I was going to have a little bitmore self-respect and self-love
that I could look back into myexperience and go.
I made better choices.
Now we're all going to makemistakes and forgive yourself
for making mistakes, and that'sthe only way you ever really
learn.
Words never teach.
(18:14):
Experience is the best teacher,but recognize when you are
given a choice.
Is this for my highest good?
And I love using that question.
Is this for my highest good?
And I love using that question.
Is this for my highest good ifI'm given this choice, and if it
is, I follow through.
And if it doesn't feel likeit's for my highest good,
because there's not a good,light feeling with it, I don't
do it.
(18:34):
It's a simple indication, andif you're given something to do
and you're unsure, you couldalso ask what would love do here
?
Would love mean that I'm takingcare of myself, which means I'm
not going to do that, or wouldlove mean I'm going to go and
give of myself?
You know, because it's allabout the feedback you get from
your emotions, whether somethingfeels light and good and
uplifting or flat and heavy, youknow.
(18:56):
So that's what your emotionalguidance system is all about.
That is what your emotions arethere.
They're there to give youfeedback.
So ask yourself those questionsand your body will give you the
answer in the terms of subtlefeedback, emotional feelings.
(19:17):
Number eight staying present.
Engage in the here and now.
Here and now is the only placewe can ever be, unless you're in
your mind thinking about thefuture or the past.
So being here now and stayingin the present is one of the
greatest ways you can rechargeyour tank.
That's why meditation is sogood.
That is why being creative isso good.
That is why, when you'reimmersed in an activity that you
love, you're so present thatfills up your cup.
(19:38):
You're so focused on yourself.
In that moment You're notleaking any energy.
But as soon as you startgetting into your mind, thinking
about other people, wonderingwhat they're doing, maybe
complaining about somebody, youbegin to leak your energy.
So be very mindful of whatyou're giving your attention to.
That is why staying in thepresent is so powerful.
Some of the happiest momentsyou've had, some of the most
(19:59):
blissful moments you've ever had, you probably weren't even
thinking.
You were being.
You were in a state of beingthat was so fulfilling.
And that's because there's nothought going on.
You're just immersed in thisgood feeling, energy.
Imagine you've gone to a goodparty and the music's great and
around wonderful people, andyou're just like, ah, this is
such a great party.
The reason why it's such agreat party is because of the
(20:22):
way it makes you feel, whichmeans you are present.
But when you are worrying,fussing, stressing, you're in
your head.
You're not minding your ownbusiness.
You're worried about the futureor you're worried about the
past.
You're not present.
That is why staying in thepresent is so powerful for you
to helping you get what you want, because when you appreciate
(20:42):
and acknowledge and accept whatis, what is will change and
bring you more good stuff.
It means you're not pushingagainst life, it means you're
accepting and allowing it.
Number nine follow your joy.
Pursue activities and thoughtsthat make you feel happy, that
make you feel jubilant, thatmake you feel celebratory,
because when you pursue thingsthat make you feel uplifted in
(21:03):
my case it's music in music, inmy case it's exercise, in my
case it's going to the beach.
In my case it's hanging outwith great people, it's going to
really nice restaurants there'sso many things you can think of
that really fill you up, andjoy is the greatest magnet you
can have, and when you are doingthings that you love to do, you
(21:23):
are only going to attract moregood stuff into your life.
We're here to experience asmuch joy as we can muster every
single day, and it's so easy tojust watch the kids, because
they're constantly in thisfeeling of joy most of the time,
whereas adults it kind of getssort of knocked out of you a
little bit because life gets alittle bit serious.
But we need to kind of learnhow to return back to this
(21:44):
joyful essence of who we reallyare.
When you come from this placeof a full cup, a full state of
happiness, a full state offulfillment, you are fulfilled
from within and now you'reoverflowing that joy, those good
feelings, those good vibes outinto the world, also uplifting
other people.
The greatest gift you can giveif you're an uplifter is to give
(22:06):
the gift of your own happiness,give the gift of love, give the
gift of joy, give the gift oflaughter.
These are the types of thingswe naturally want to give when
our cup is full.
But when you're minding otherpeople's business, not minding
your own, what you're doing isyou're spending all your joy,
you're spending all thatcurrency wasted and it's not
(22:27):
going to come back until youreset yourself and get back in
your own lane, get back in yourown alignment.
Number 10 you've got to trustthat the universe knows what
it's doing and that the universeis guiding everyone on this
planet, and especially you.
Have faith that your needs arebeing met.
Have faith that you're beingguided to something great, even
(22:48):
though you might not see it yet.
Every challenge, every mishap,everything that seems very
difficult for you, is a setupfor something great in another
season.
Just remember that.
And that's the same for otherpeople, no matter what they're
going through.
So if you're meddling in otherpeople's affairs, you're not
trusting that life is going toset them up for something
wonderful in another season.
(23:09):
Greatest thing you can give issometimes just a little distance
between the people you reallycare about and yourself and
being in their personal affairs.
If you can just stand back fromthose affairs and just know
that, just like when a seed isplanted, it's not going to
mature, and just know that, justlike when a seed is planted,
it's not gonna mature into afruit tree this year, it might
take a few years before itreally bears fruit.
(23:30):
That is the same with trying tomess with other people's
affairs, trying to get intoother people's affairs and
really care about them.
If people are meddling in yourlife, it's because they are
spending their own currency,they're not focusing on
themselves, and sometimes aparent will do that.
But if you are a parent, you'vegot to be conscious that you're
(23:51):
not actually doing that in yourchild's life.
Whilst you want to guide them,you've also got to trust that
there is something bigger here,that the universe is navigating
each one of us to our highestgoods and when we can focus on
what's important in the here andnow and trust that there will
be a setup in seasons to come,despite whatever challenges
(24:12):
other people may be goingthrough or a challenge that you
may be going through.
This gives you a lot greatersense of peace as you move
throughout your day.
By following these principles,you're gonna enhance your own
power.
You're gonna enhance the greenlights in your life because
you're recalibrating to yourself, to your own energy.
This is incredible for seeingmore green lights in your life.
(24:33):
But when you're not minding yourown business, when you're
trying to meddle in otherpeople's affairs, you're giving
your power away.
There's no one to fix here,there's only you to get in your
own power and fill yourself up.
Each day you fill yourself upwith your own healthy habits,
with your own healthy mindset.
Then what you're doing isyou're starting the day afresh
with all sorts of possibilitiesand chances and opportunities
(24:56):
that can come your way.
But if you're meddling in otherpeople's affairs and not
minding your own business,you're saying yes to red lights.
So be mindful of theseprinciples and set them into
action.
Try them, apply them and getyour own experience, because
experience is the teacher, notthese words.
If you've enjoyed this episodeand you've gotten great value
from it, then please remember tohit the like and subscribe and
(25:19):
support the show if you'd liketo contribute for shows like
this, or more shows like this,because this content is really
changing lives and when youbegin to assist other people in
helping transform their own life, it's also coming back to you.
Until the next episode, I wishyou a wonderful week ahead and
green lights all the way.
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