August 18, 2025 • 57 mins
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What does it really mean to win in life? In this soul-stirring conversation, Dr. B welcomes JM Ryerson, founder of Let's Go Win and a seasoned entrepreneur who's built and sold three financial service companies. Their discussion cuts through superficial success metrics to reveal what truly matters.
JM shares his remarkable journey from Montana basketball player to successful Florida-based business leader, highlighting pivotal moments that shaped his philosophy. When a knee injury ended his athletic career, he discovered personal development while traveling through Europe—a transition that forced him to redefine his identity beyond sports. Years later, after writing a book intended just for his sons, JM found himself launching a business dedicated to helping others achieve authentic success.
The conversation tackles crucial topics rarely discussed in business circles: the power of vulnerability, especially for men taught that "boys don't cry"; the importance of self-care before attempting to serve others; and the liberation that comes from removing the masks we wear in daily life. JM's perspective challenges conventional wisdom about goal-setting, suggesting that alignment with one's authentic self matters more than arbitrary external metrics.
Perhaps most powerfully, JM asserts that "no one can change your beliefs but you," offering a framework for self-assessment through his acronym SELF (Strength, Energy, Love, Freedom). This conversation isn't just about professional achievement—it's about becoming the person you need to be to live a fulfilling life on your own terms.
Ready to take off your masks and discover what winning really means? This episode provides both the inspiration and practical guidance to begin that journey.
Connect with JM at letsgowin.com and join Dr. B's community at becomingtheperson.com to continue growing alongside like-minded individuals.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
All right, welcome to another just incredible edition
of Living Boldly With Purpose.
And I am Dr B, I am your hosttoday and, as always, super
excited about just life and thethings that we get to do and the
time that we get to spend andthe relationships that we get to
make.
And as I do these podcasts,devin and I get further and
(00:43):
further in them and I and Icontinue to do.
I've done about about 400, 400episodes now to date in the last
several years.
I was at a one of thosenetworking meetings today where
you know you go to thenetworking meeting and everybody
you know talks about themselvesand they were asking well, you
know, have you enjoyed doing thepodcast?
(01:04):
And I said well, you know, Idon't think I would have got to
400 without enjoying doing it.
I would have quit.
But sometimes I fail to realizethat you know 80 to 90% I think
the last statistic I heard was88% of people who start podcasts
never get to 10 episodes andthat just blows me away because
(01:26):
you start asking why and, asI've been doing some coaching
and asking about podcasts, andI'm like so why did you stop
doing your podcast?
And they'll tell me things youknow like it wasn't very good,
or I didn't get a very bigaudience, or I don't know what
people liked when I you know thecontent that I was talking
about.
And then I go back and I askthis one question.
(01:48):
I say so.
I mean I want you to be honestwith me.
I want you to tell me in yourlifetime, of all the things
you've learned to do and do well, have you ever done things only
10 times or eight times andbeen good at it?
Hello, I mean like really, youthought that you were going to
do one podcast or two podcastsand you were going to be really
(02:10):
good at it.
How good were you at tying yourshoes or walking or any of
those things?
And to me it's kind of sad,because one of the things that
podcasting allows you to do isto be a better communicator, is
to be a better listener, is tobe a better, I think, overall
human being.
And so, as I'm beginning,starting my community and doing
(02:32):
all the things that I know, youknow the coaching things that
you do and the keynotes that youdo and you know are all about
helping people become the personthat they need to be, but I
don't know how we teach peopleto be more patient through the
process.
We live in this right.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Well, you know, it's fascinating to hear that because
I think of the first 10episodes.
I messed up two so badly in thefirst 10.
I forgot to record 45 minutesof one, totally forgot to hit
play or hit record.
And then the second one, oh, Idid the.
(03:08):
The camera wasn't even, itwasn't even on, so I had to
record both of those back toback.
Like, and that's what isfascinating is for someone to
stop so quickly.
Gosh, this is my favorite thingthat I do, brian.
Like literally, I meetincredible people like yourself
that are doing cool stuff in theworld and it's like no, I
(03:30):
wasn't that good at anything.
I can think of the first 10times.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, no yeah it's fascinating.
I mean, we wouldn't even go topractice if we could be good at
it when we first got started.
Right, when you think aboutathletics or anything, the
things that we do, we even thinkabout athletics or any things,
the things that we do, Iwouldn't think about
relationships.
I mean, what if you you know,sometimes, when I think of
people have those arrangedmarriages and stuff, like, how
can you be good at theconversation and the things that
(03:54):
you have and I'm just, you know, for people to give up so
quickly, you know, and to dosomething that is so good for
them that can help them in somany ways?
You know, I was, as I wastalking to lots of real estate
agents that were in there.
I'm like, how good would you beat talking to clients if you
talk to everybody that you knew?
You know for an hour a day, forhowever many episodes, that
(04:16):
you're able to do it.
How good would you be at askingthe questions and then being
able to listen to the answerbefore you open your mouth and
start talking?
If anything, it just teachesyou to be patient and wait for
answers and stop talking.
And so, like yourself, I lovedoing this.
I love the ability to just talkto.
I'm starting a community andit's called Becoming a Person
(04:38):
Universe.
You know where I want people tocome in so they can become
better, and I'm starting outwith all of my podcast guests,
so you'll be invited to come into be able to be in the
community and be able to, if youwould like to, to talk about
the things that you do.
But why I'm so excited about itis because, now that I've done
so many, it's hard sometimes toremember every conversation that
(05:01):
I had with all of those folks,and yet when I go back and
listen to them it brings up themind and then I want to connect
people.
So I said oh man, jim, youwould be really good to talk to.
And now I'm trying to do allthese connections.
And it's like I can't do thatmany connections.
But if I have a way or a placewhere people can get together
and I can share everything thatI've learned and that's the big
(05:23):
thing for me is I'm learning somuch.
I feel like I'm separating fromfolks because I get an hour or
four times a week, or whateverI'm doing, to talk to these
incredible people and I get togrow, but then all the like you
know, you're not on the sameboard that I'm on or whoever
else.
I mean, if you're doing, youknow it's great.
So I guess what I'm saying iscause I definitely want to get.
(05:52):
The gem in this story is um,it's so cool to be able to start
a podcast and I would encourageyou to do that.
I would encourage you to takepart in it, Even if you only get
to 20 episodes or 30 episodesor whatever it is.
You will be a better person fordoing it, and so I totally
agree with you, brother.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And just something to consider.
Consider.
I think I'm almost at 500episodes.
What if we considercollaborating, bringing them
together?
Now we have that big of acommunity.
I'm just saying I believe inabundance, I believe in sharing.
I I've been considering whatyou were talking about but I'm
like gosh, I have all theseother things going so we can go
(06:24):
off there and talk about that.
But it's a possibility becausethere's so many good people out
there and I want to share.
You know, I want to share theirgifts with them, with all the
other people I want them to know.
You know, brian, and I wantthem to know the last guest I
had, krista, and there's so manygood people to connect.
So it's a great idea, brother,I'm glad you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
And what's so cool is the waythat I found that most
invigorates me about some of thepodcasts that I do or all of
them is I get to find out whothe people are.
You know, because a lot ofpeople want to come on and tell
this is what I do, you know, andthis is you know how I do the
thing that I do and this is howI do the thing that I do and
this is why I got good at it.
But I love to start with story,because story says this is who
(07:09):
that person is, this is how theygot to be, and I think
everybody relates to.
Oh yeah, I did that in my life,or I did that in my life.
I was doing one.
Yes, we adopted a few boys thatwere on the Maury Povich show
back in the 90seties, like 95,and the guy that was I was on
his podcast yesterday and I hewas asking me about that story
and I said he says I was on theMaury Povich still one month
(07:33):
later.
And then you just think of howsmall the world really is and
how we connect and I would sayin every single podcast there's
somebody that I can connect toin a way that relates to me, and
I learned so much like, oh, Idid that, but if I would have
did what you do or did, I mighthave been better off right now.
(07:55):
But now I'm going to do it.
I'm going to take that example.
You know, I cannot have a penand not write down stuff.
Here's how dumb I was.
But I was watching podcasts, orI go on a podcast, I would
watch a person's podcast and I'mlike diligently taking notes
and I'm like trying to writedown so fast.
And then I realized, oh, dude,I could push pause.
(08:17):
I could actually just stop,take my time, write it down so I
can read it and then go further.
And I'm like it took me like 20or 30 podcasts to figure out.
Oh yeah, the pause buttonallows me to take my time, oh my
gosh.
But I go back and watch all ofthese and I take even more notes
from what we do live, and soit's so fun.
And so I want you to tell yourstory.
(08:38):
You know the floor is going tobe yours and I can tell them.
I guess they can start whereverthey want.
It's their story.
They can't get it wrong.
You know, sometimes I go whatif I said you can't, it's your
story, you can't?
I mean, it's whatever it is,even if you, even if you lied, I
wouldn't know.
I guess the people that areyour friends and family would
(08:58):
know that didn't happen.
Then that's another chance totalk and play and joke with them
.
If you did so, please tell yourstory.
I can't wait to hear it.
I can't wait to chop it up asanother fellow podcaster that's
out there that's doing the work,that's getting it done, who's
out there doing keynotes, Ican't wait to hear what you have
to say and take notes.
So go ahead and tell us exactlywho you are and can't wait.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, man, I appreciate that.
And can't we?
Yeah, man, no, I appreciatethat.
And I guess I will start as wetalked off air.
You know you said where, wheredo you live with?
You know common question thatwe ask.
And I live in Florida now, butI'm originally a Montana kid and
I'm proud of that.
It's something that I love.
Growing up in the Rockies, Ilove fly fishing, exploring the
mountains.
(09:41):
That was really what I grew updoing outside of just being an
athlete.
And I ended up playingbasketball in college until I
blew out my knee for the thirdtime.
And then I ended up going tostudy abroad, in the Netherlands
.
Well, why is that important?
When I got back from studyingin the Netherlands, somehow,
(10:02):
someway, I ended up graduatingcollege in four years.
So I ended up going to threeschools, got two degrees in four
years.
I don't know how it's possible,all those credits transferred,
but they did and I ended upmoving almost directly from
Montana to Northern California.
I didn't mean to.
Honestly, I was my brother,graduated high school, I
graduated college and I took aroad trip.
(10:24):
Honestly, I was my brother,graduated high school, I
graduated college and I took aroad trip, and my uncle lived
out in Folsom, california, and Ihad another one in Huntington
beach, so we go do this trip.
On the way back up, uh, on theway back from Huntington beach
to Montana, I called my mom andI said you know, I'm going to
drop Pat my brother, off to youin Nevada, I'm going to go back
and hang out with my uncle.
(10:44):
And I ended up staying inCalifornia for almost 20 years.
Oh gosh, and that's where I metmy wife that we've been married
now for 20 years.
We have two sons.
We have 19 and 15-year-old boys.
They are truly the everything.
I built and sold three financialservice companies in that time
(11:07):
and it was a great, great place.
I met a lot of wonderful people, but in the process I knew I
was going to sell that thirdcompany and I decided you know
what?
For some tax purposes, I'mgoing to go ahead and leave
California.
We ended up in a more taxfriendly state, in Florida, and
so that's where I've been forthe last four and a half years
(11:30):
and I built my current companycalled let's Go Win.
And Brian, I didn't mean tostart this company.
Honestly I didn't.
I wrote my first book theorange one behind me called
let's go win, and I actuallywrote that book for our two sons
because I wanted them to have aroad map in case my wife and I
(11:50):
got hit by a bus that they wouldknow some of the philosophies
that we had.
And the gal I was working withsaid man, you're selfish.
And I said what are you talkingabout?
She said if you only share thisbook with two human beings,
you're selfish.
And I said you're right,publish a book.
And it just took me on thisbeautiful journey that let's Go
Win is, and so, between coaching, consulting, podcasting,
(12:15):
writing a few more books, that'swhat I've been doing and I just
I love it, man, let's Go Win.
I'm truly passionate about it.
I get a chance to inspirepeople to live their best lives.
I get a chance to coach,consult, partner with companies,
because why I get hired ispeople hire me to double their
revenue.
That's really what I guessGod's gift was to me, and so
(12:38):
that's what I'm doing today andit's so much fun, man.
I just I love meeting greatpeople, doing cool stuff, and
when I get a chance to do what Ilove, which is sales leadership
, building teams and they get todo what they're great at, a lot
of times it's a.
It's a pretty cool synergy.
So that's me in in a nutshell,and I you know, I guess two to
(12:59):
three minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Man so good and what that did is brought up like way
so many questions for me and you.
As we do stuff and kind of ourlives are paralleled in a lot of
ways.
I was a you know an athlete andended up in California for 25
years, you know.
So I was there in SouthernCalifornia.
My son and daughter my sonworks for Pixar, so he's up in
Northern California, and adaughter that lives up there
(13:23):
that is working for a potterybarn, I think is what it is, one
of those companies that sheworks for and she's doing some
real estate and it's just so funto go back.
I just got back from Californialast week.
But what I really want to kindof talk about it as you come
from Montana.
You know I'm out in state RockyMountain State.
(13:43):
I grew up here in Denver andwe're trying to learn how do we
have our best lives and whatdoes that look like?
And there's an identity, youknow I think Tony Robbins
somebody said you know, the mostpowerful force in the universe
is being congruent with theidentity you hold for yourself.
And I want to kind of know, asyou were growing up, what that
identity looked like, becauseyou literally went from this
(14:04):
small there's no town in Montanathat's big, so I can't say that
it's a big town, right, it's asmall town into you know.
Now you're traveling all overthe world.
You're going to the Netherlands, you're going, you know, to
college and then you end up inNorthern California, which is
pretty populated.
And who you were, how did youmaintain or keep or knew you
(14:28):
were going to be successful?
I can't wait to talk about yourbook.
But what in your identity did,maybe had to shift?
Or was it just you had suchgreat upbringing that you always
knew that the world was your.
You couldn't lose.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I mean.
So here's it's a really goodquestion, because identity is
such a big thing for us.
And when I blew out my knee forthe third time, I suddenly went
from being JM the athlete tonow just a normal student.
That was a huge thing for me ata early age, at 20, 21 years
(15:04):
old.
That now I'm going from.
Everything I've done is sports.
That's how people know me,that's how I've you know really
that.
That's how I identified.
And one of the best things thathappened to me was that last
surgery.
And here's why because I got achance to find myself while I
was traveling all through Europeon trains myself, while I was
(15:26):
traveling all through Europe ontrains.
That's when I started myself-development journey,
reading a ton of books, and itgot me to ask questions such as
who am I?
What do I really want out ofthis life?
And these are questions thatoftentimes we get stuck on Like
I don't know what I really wantto do at 20 years old, shoot,
I'm 47 now and there's days thatI'm like I'm not quite sure if
I'm, because we're alwaysevolving, but the identity shift
(15:51):
to your point.
I went from being the athleteto now a normal student and then
I became a reader and then,when I moved to California, I
went right into business andnext thing I know, I became an
entrepreneur.
Now, what I would say is, I'mnot a big fan of labels unless
(16:11):
they serve you, and one of thethings that I found served me
was being an entrepreneur.
I really liked the feeling.
I liked what it brought to mein terms of I value freedom,
liked what it brought to me interms of I value freedom, I
value freedom of time, I valuefreedom financially, and so for
(16:33):
me, it was really finding thatidentity to say, okay, I
identify as a reader, I identifyas someone that loves competing
and winning, and that justserved me well, whether it was
on the athletic, you know, onthe, on the playing basketball,
or it was on, you know, thebusiness side of things, it
always served me.
(16:53):
And so when I moved toCalifornia, I just, you know,
identified is that you know thepositive ways that helped me.
Being a reader, having a growthmindset, really, you know,
wanting to win.
That served me in business,just as it did on when I was
playing hoops or I was playingfootball or baseball.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
So when I think of like identity and you know what
we hold for ourselves and I justI just finished a book called
Be Do have you know, theultimate success pile is
becoming the person before youtry to go do it.
I would love if you could giveme any examples in your life
where you tried to do and havebefore you became the person.
(17:35):
I got lots of them and I loveto ask that question because so
many of us think that that's theway to go.
Right, let me just start doing,or let me get.
Our society allows us to havethings, so let's say it's a
material thing, it's a car orsomething like that, so we go
buy this car that we can'tafford.
Then we go well, what do I gotto do to be able to keep it and
maintain and do everything.
But I've never yet become theperson.
(17:57):
And you just kind of talkedabout you know your personal
self-development journey thatyou went through.
That allowed you to become whatare maybe a couple things that
you might have done where you go?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
wait, that was kind of backwards I mean, I I think a
lot of people can relate tothat when they have kids.
I became a dad overnight and itwas like whoa, was I really
prepared for that?
Not, I mean, did I know whatthe heck I was doing?
Not really, but I knew I hadthis brand new baby boy that
(18:29):
just changed my entire life.
That immediately was a shock,right, because who?
Who prepared you for that?
Who?
You didn't go through school,you didn't go through how to
learn how to be a dad.
You had to become that as thatchild came in and you learned to
do that, and you know it's sointeresting.
(18:49):
You were talking about thepodcast people.
You know malcolm gladwell wrote, you know about 10 000 hour
rule.
You said 10 episodes.
They just forgot three zeros.
It's like they did 10 episodes.
It's like no, no, 10,000 hoursbefore you get to mastery.
And so if you look at that, whatin your life have you actually
(19:12):
mastered?
So, for instance, you and Iboth have done a lot of podcasts
, but I haven't done 10,000hours for it.
Right, so we're getting betterat it, but there's another level
and there's another level, andso I think I'm constantly
becoming.
I'm still becoming as as aparent.
I'm still becoming as a youknow, really knowing myself,
(19:36):
because we're constantlychanging, and so I don't really
believe that I I'll ever arrive,because the moment I do, then I
stopped learning, then Istopped growing.
I think I'm dead in the wateralready.
So I think the majority of mylife, whether it was writing
books or podcasting or startingbusinesses, I think I was doing
(19:59):
way before I'd become what, whatwas required.
But that's the beauty of it is,I got to get knocked down and I
got to screw things up and Igot to learn and continue to
become.
So I think that's one of thosequestions where we're constantly
becoming.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, it has to be.
Even if you, if you're able to,I think you can't help.
But do something.
Once you, you know, become thatperson.
So let's say it's shooting freethrows, right, you, you, you're
going to always have tocontinue to get better at
shooting free throws, but onceyou've done so many, you now
become the person who knows howto shoot a free throw.
Now you can't help but shootcorrectly and then you get to
(20:38):
have whatever you get, to havethe enjoyment of it going
through the net and then beingable to score the points that
come from it.
But how many people go up thereand like I want to have all
these points in a basketballgame but I don't know how to
shoot?
You know, and I haven't.
Even you know I'm going to doit, I'm going to go ahead and
shoot but it's never going to goin because I haven't gone
(20:59):
through the techniques and thefundamentals and all that
practice, things that allow youto become the person when you
started, you know, thinkingabout, you talked about doing a
lot of reading and yourself,yourself, self-development
process.
How would you and I know youcoach folks as well how do you
(21:19):
help somebody find where tostart?
Because everybody tells you,everybody coaches you and says
you need to haveself-development.
In fact, 20 percent of yourlife needs to be.
You know you growing andlearning.
And then you know coming likewell, where do I start?
What do I do?
You know how did you find that?
And then you know how are youhelping folks figure out?
(21:39):
Where do I start in thisjourney?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So I was pretty fortunate, my sister actually
gave me my first.
It was the art of motorcyclemaintenance, the Zen art of
motorcycle maintenance.
And then, shortly after that,then, I think, I picked up Think
and Grow Rich.
Then I picked up Man's Searchfor Meaning.
So I went into some deep booksfast, but I wasn't even a reader
(22:05):
.
I didn't really enjoy readingthrough the majority of my life
until I was riding on thesetrains.
So for me, I got fortunate thatmy sister gave me a book and I
fell in love with it.
Now to your point, with otherpeople that are going, well, I
don't even know where to start.
I like to ask questions.
I like to ask people.
(22:26):
You know, what are you reallysearching for?
What?
What is it that you'd like toum, you know, get better at?
What is it that you'd like toget better at?
What is something that you'reinterested in?
And if they're like abundanceor mindset or business, because
I've read so many differentthings, I have a chance to say
well, you might enjoy this.
(22:46):
And one of the first questionsI like to ask, brian is are you,
are you, a reader?
I actually just, uh, yesterdayI had a group coaching with with
a gal and I asked her and shesaid no, I'm really not Well.
Immediately, I know I'm notgoing to give her a 400 page
book that she's going to neverfinish Right I?
(23:07):
gave her a parable that I'm like.
I think you can absolutely getthrough this, because not that
reading is the end all be all,because I don't care, you could
listen to it, you could listento a podcast, but what I want
people to do is continuouslywant to learn and to be curious.
So I think it's just askingthose questions what are you
(23:27):
looking for?
What really gets you going, andthen kind of help guide them to
.
This is my experience.
This is what I enjoyed, becausesome of the books I mentioned I
think they're amazing, but thatdoesn't mean they're amazing
for everyone.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Oh, so good, and you're telling this story is
like some of these you dug intoand I'm thinking I wasn't a
reader and myself for aself-help book was probably not.
It was me watching crustydemons of dirt and trying to be
a dirt bike rider with jerrymcgrath.
And those guys are there.
But but literally, I think youknow the magic of thinking big
was one of those.
You know, the greatest salesmanin the world, uh, the alchemist
(24:05):
, some of those that are likeeasy, easier to read books that
kind of started me on my journey.
But you're so right because Ithink there were people, mentors
or people in my life thatsuggested the books based on
questions they had asked me.
You know, and I can remember somany times where I just showed
up at the back then you know wehad bookstores that you would go
(24:28):
to.
Before there was an Amazon andyou would just, you know there
was a self-help section that waslike the smallest section in
the whole.
You know the whole bookstoreand then you just kind of close
your eyes and then you pick one,but then I don't know, you know
, without somebody recommendingbased on maybe, something
they've read, it might've been alittle bit harder, but then,
(24:49):
once you get that, that muscleof of, and I want to learn, you
know, and now it's like I can,you know where, I think 20 years
ago, man, I, you know it washard to just to pick up and read
(25:16):
a few pages of something andreally wanting to listen to, you
know, the Tony Robbins or theLes Browns or the Zig Ziglars or
the guys that were there, and Ididn't even know who they were,
you know.
And then today, you know, as I,as I'm, sometimes we, sometimes
(25:37):
we as folks that are in thisspace I think we believe that
everybody's in the same space aswe are and then, like, that 400
page book is what we try togive to folks to be able to do
stuff.
And so thank you for kind ofjust walking through that Kind
of talk about your first bookthat you wrote, what inspired
(25:59):
you to write it and then what,but maybe some of after you
wrote it, like wow, this isbetter than I thought it was,
and maybe some of the thingsthat people have, you know, been
able to do as a result, or atleast told you that they've been
able to do as a result.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah, you know, know, I talked about writing that
book for almost five yearsbefore I actually put pen to
paper.
And at some point I because Iput my bathroom goals or I put
my goals in my bathroom here,excuse me and my eight-year-old
at the time said hey dad, how'sthat book coming?
(26:29):
And now you, it had been on mygoals for three years and I will
never lie to my kids.
So I had to sheepishly look atmy eight year old and say I have
a little bit of chapter onedone.
Within six months.
I finished writing the bookbecause he inspired me and
deflated me all at the same time.
Because he checked me on yousaid this is important, you're
(26:50):
teaching us that, you know.
Checked me on.
You said this is important,you're teaching us that you know
, put your goals in the mirrorand so you hold yourself
accountable.
And I wasn't doing it.
And once I finished it, brian,it was such a great experience
not even so much for the kids,because that same kid, my
eight-year-old, who's now 15 hestill hasn't read the book fully
(27:12):
, so as much as it was for himand and his older brother, it
ended up being a much biggerthing because I got to share
with the world, and you know,one of the cool things I start
with vulnerability is chapterone.
Now, why is that important?
Well, I was taught the boysdon't cry.
(27:33):
That was literally a lessonthat I was taught as a as a
young person, and I think it'sabsolutely terrible advice.
Now, that was what my dad wastaught from his grand, from his
dad, and his dad was taught fromhis dad, and one of the things
I wanted my boys to know is ait's not great advice.
I don't believe that it doesn'tmake you less of a man.
(27:54):
And b I want you to be able toreally show up as your authentic
self, to truly be vulnerable.
Uh, so you can show up as thebest version of you, and I've
had so many people that havecome up and said, oh my gosh, I
can't believe you started withthat chapter, but thank you,
because I, as a man or a female,I was taught that I'm not
(28:19):
supposed to show those emotions,that it made me weak somehow
and you know, obviously, breneBrown's done incredible work in
this space on vulnerability andI only did a chapter on it, but
it was one of those things thatI wanted my, my boys, to know.
A it's okay for you to cry.
B I don't want you to stuffyour emotions deep down.
I want you to share them sothat you can show up as the best
(28:42):
version of you.
So, story after story of justpeople that may have been
inspired.
They laughed about, you knowabout some of the stories in the
book.
It inspired them to dosomething to be better.
That's ultimately all thereason I wrote it.
It was intentionally for myboys initially, but it's become
so much bigger and it's cool,man.
(29:03):
It's one of those things mywife told me today.
She's like we've got anotherroyalty check.
So people are still buying thebook at Amazon, which is cool,
and apparently they're stillgetting some value, which makes
me happy.
That it's.
You know it's keeping thatgoing.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
When I think of winning and the, like you said,
being vulnerable and the stepsthat that folks need to go
through, then I also think aboutall the people that I talk to
who think that they won becausetheir team won or their favorite
sports, and you know, they comeback and they got the.
You know the name of the,whoever their favorite players
(29:42):
are.
And I'm not saying sportsaren't good.
We were both in sports, we bothlove sports.
It's amazing, but how do wehelp people go?
No, this is your life and yourability to win, not living
through somebody else who winsand I don't want to take you to
the stream of just professionalsports.
What about all the dads thatare on the sidelines of their
kids and they're living thiswinning moment through their
(30:07):
kids and the lessons they'reteaching them?
And so maybe just kind of yourthoughts on winning and not
others winning.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah, I get this question a lot.
Having a company like let's GoWin, people ask me all the time,
what does winning mean?
And so I started to say, well,gosh, I think I know what
winning means.
But then I actually went andlooked it up and there's a word
you're going to see every singletime when you look up winning.
You're going to seeself-development, you're going
to see self-growth, you're goingto see self-love, you're going
(30:39):
to see self-care.
The word self is in front everytime you look up the definition
.
Okay, well, to your point, it'snot about somebody else when it
starts with us.
So I actually teach people towin from within.
But when I looked at self, Iwas like, okay, well, what does
(31:02):
self mean?
I think I have an idea.
It's like ourself.
Well, to me, self stands forstrength, energy, energy, love
and freedom.
And where do you fall in theseareas of strength?
From a mental, from a physicaland from emotional standpoint?
Where do you from an energeticstandpoint?
(31:22):
Where do you stand from amental, physical and emotional
standpoint?
And I go through each one of theS, e, l, f, and that's one of
the things I train people on,because so often people forget
to take care of themselves andalso, especially, my female
clients.
I've talked about this manytimes.
(31:43):
When I ask my, my moms and galsthat I'm working with I'll,
I'll ask them one question everysingle time.
I'll say what did you do foryourself today?
And they'll list the kids, thehouse, the husband, the dog, the
car, the I mean the email it'sa litany of stuff and I said no,
no, no.
(32:03):
What did you do for you?
And they've almost becomeconditioned that because they
have this maternal thing, I needto take care of everyone else
first.
Well, the problem with that is,if you don't take care of you,
you can't show up as the bestversion for your family, for
(32:23):
your kids, for your job, and sotaking care of yourself to me,
that is winning.
That self-care that you giveyourself every single day, that
is truly winning, because thatallows you to show up as the
best version of you in whateverhat that you're wearing.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Well, yes, that is so good, you know, because one of
the things that we often talkabout is our ability to serve
others, like I usually ask myguests a question like when
you're, you know, in order tobecome the person or live boldly
with purpose, in order to livein purpose, I don't know if you
can do that without servingothers.
You know, I think it's likethat's a prerequisite of being
(33:07):
able to live in purpose.
But I think the part thatsometimes we forget is what you
were just talking, because ifyou don't, if you haven't served
the self portion of it, youcan't be able to serve others in
a way that is going to impactthem in ways that will change
forever.
Because if you're not whole ifyou're, I mean, we can be
working on it.
So I'm not saying you got to beperfected, but if you're not
(33:28):
working on you, it's really hardto help others.
I mean, would you agree withthat?
I mean, when you think aboutliving in purpose and serving
others, what are some of thethings we got to make sure we do
for ourselves in order to beable to do that?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Well, it's a great point.
And you cannot pour from anempty cup.
At the end of the day, Ifyou're not filling your cup, you
can't give anymore.
And there's a universal law,the law of ask and receive.
Like it's given, receive, given, receive.
You can't just give and giveand give.
If you do that, you'reupsetting a universal law and it
(34:04):
everything falls apart.
And that was something I had tolearn, Brian, because I like to
give, I love to help others,but guess what?
You also need to be able toreceive.
And I'll give you a simpleexample.
If somebody gives you acompliment, they're like hey,
Brian, you look good man.
So often people will be likewell, you know, it's kind of an
(34:27):
off hair day, or they'll deflectthe entire compliment instead
of just saying two words Thankyou.
And what's so fascinating aboutthat is you're actually taken
away from that person's joybecause they are trying to give
a compliment.
They are trying to say hey, man, I see you, I think you're
awesome.
And instead of just sayingthank you, people will be like
(34:50):
nah, nah, nah, and they're goingto try and be humble.
The problem with that is you'reliterally stealing their joy
and some of us that learn to behumble and have humility.
These are lessons I had to learn.
When somebody gives you acompliment, all you have to do
is say thank you, and now you'refeeding them, they're feeding
(35:10):
you, and now you were in flowwith one another.
So it's a universal law youhave to give.
You also have to receive.
So again, moms, dads, listening, you can't just give and give
and give to your kids.
You have to receive.
You need to receive that lovefor yourself first, so that you
(35:33):
can continue to pour into them.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Wow, so, so, so good.
I was just thinking about that,you know, as you were saying
that, you know, I told you guysat that meeting this morning and
so many people came up to meand to me now it's just thank
you, thank you.
I appreciate that.
But, yeah, five, 10, 20 yearsago, there's no way.
I said, oh, no, no, you know,and taking that away, well,
really, what my head reallypopped to right now when you
(35:57):
just said that is some of theaffirmations that you know.
So folks are getting startedthat are saying, and they'll say
, and they'll give theseaffirmations out to the universe
, so they'll put them on themirror and they'll look at
themselves, but do they reallyreceive it back to themselves?
As you know, hey, I, I'm goodat what I do, or I, you know, I
love the person that I'mbecoming, or whatever that
(36:18):
affirmation is.
Are you receiving that in orderfor it to actually, I guess,
take seed and then grow into theperson that you're trying to
become?
I mean, is that, I mean, evenif we're doing it for ourselves?
Is that like something that youtry to help people out with,
and that receiving part is eventhe things we say to ourself or
(36:40):
the things that we do toourselves.
We have to be kind, I guess.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Yeah, it's a huge point because, look, as great as
our parents were, they may havetaught us some things that
maybe weren't so great, and andmyself included as a parent,
right, we have self-limitingbeliefs that we gave to our, to
our kids.
That's just part of the deal,and so I'm going to.
I'll call her Jennifer.
(37:05):
I have a client.
She's incredibly smart, she'sfunny, she's beautiful.
She doesn't believe any ofthose things.
She has a real self-worthchallenge because of, you know,
some of her self-limitingbeliefs that she got from being
a.
She danced growing up and soyou had to be perfect, you had
to be of a certain weight, youhad to look a certain way, and
(37:28):
one of the things I taught herwas you have to rewire the
subconscious.
And so to your point with theseaffirmations.
One of my favorites that I sayall the time to clients is it's
called the perfect affirmation Iam whole, perfect, strong,
powerful, loving, harmonious andhappy.
(37:48):
And when I told her that, I said, jennifer, I need you to just
start to repeat this.
She says, but I don't believeit.
I said I understand that, butif you do it for the next 90
days, you're going to start to,because your brain literally
does not know the differencebetween reality and what, what
(38:09):
you're telling.
It does not know the difference.
So if you're feeding it thesepositive affirmations and you're
really starting to like rightbefore bed, if that's the last
thing that jennifer does whichis one of the pieces of homework
I give her the last thingbefore bed I need you to say I'm
whole, perfect, strong,powerful, loving, harmonious and
happy, and go to sleep.
(38:30):
And now I'm starting to see herblossom into this incredible
woman that I can see, but shejust couldn't see it for herself
.
But it's taking theseaffirmations, it's taking some
of the rewiring of hersubconscious so that she can
start to receive that in themirror and and start to tackle
(38:50):
some of the self-limitingbeliefs she had as a kid.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Gosh, you just hit home on so many things and when
I think you, you mentioned thisthis world where conscious mind
doesn't know the difference.
You know, our unconscious minddoesn't know the difference and
you think about the invisibleworld that is part of our lives.
When people say, well, there'sno real invisible world, I'm
like pick up a cell phone andtalk to somebody or what we're
doing, right, I'm in Coloradoand you're in Florida.
(39:16):
There's an invisible worldSomehow.
Your picture is showing up onmy screen.
I can't grab you and touch you.
It is absolutely 100% true.
And the things that we bringinto it.
It is absolutely 100% true.
And the things that we bringinto it.
Sometimes it seems more realthan that world that we, and I
especially, think about thatwhen we start thinking about
(39:36):
social media and our kids andthe things that they're growing
up and seeing, people's perfectlives and this underworld.
Is there a way to reallyconnect that invisible world to
what our reality, or just startbelieving our invisible world is
more powerful?
How are you helping people justkind of, you know, I guess
understand the differencebetween the two, or that they're
(39:57):
the same and there really isn'ta difference?
What's your thoughts there?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Yeah, it's a huge point because ultimately, we
create our own reality.
You know, yes, this is aphysical place that we're in,
but you are creating yourreality by what thoughts you
grab a hold of.
Now you mentioned your kids andI'll give you an affirmation
that I told my kids.
It's way too long, but everyday since they have been born, I
(40:24):
have either said it for them orthey said it once they could.
And I would ask them are you aleader?
They say yes.
I say why?
They say because I'm confident,strong, intelligent, athletic,
good looking, dynamic, popular,talented, independent boy with
growth mindset.
Now, why did I do that?
Because the world at some pointwas going to tell my kids that
(40:44):
they're not confident, thatthey're not strong, that they're
not athletic, that they're not.
You know, they're ugly.
They're going to tell themthese things and I want them to
know that with 100% certainty,you are these things, no matter
what the world tells you.
And I have a really cool story.
I won't tell the whole longthing, but my son was being
(41:06):
bullied because this kid calledhim fat.
And I said well, what happened,trey?
And this is my younger son, andhe said well, I said what did
you say and he said I just saidI'm confident, strong,
intelligent, athletic, goodlooking, dynamic, popular,
talented, independent boy withgrowth mindset.
(41:26):
And I said what'd the bully do?
He goes.
He didn't know what to do, dad,and I was so proud as a dad, I
was like he literally combatedthis bully and by saying no,
this is who I am, it doesn'tmatter what you say.
And so if a seven-year-old cando that which is how old Trey
(41:47):
was when that happened I think a47-year-old, I think a
57-year-old, I think any age cando the same thing for
themselves.
Because here's the truth Peopleare going to say terrible things
about you at some point in yourlife and you need to have the
resolution and strength andconfidence to say that's just
their opinion.
I have no control over theiropinion.
I have no control over theiropinion.
(42:08):
I only have control over mythoughts and no one.
Here's the hard truth forpeople to accept, and I want you
to hear this, guys no one canchange your beliefs, but you.
You are the only person thatcan do that.
Now I know you're saying no, myhusband or wife or my kids they
(42:28):
can push my buttons?
Nope, they don't have thatpower.
Only you have that power.
But what are you feeding?
Just like Brian was talkingabout earlier, what are you
feeding your mind on a dailybasis?
Are you feeding it positivethings, are you telling yourself
that you're amazing andpowerful and strong, or are you
buying into just someone else'sopinion?
Speaker 2 (42:52):
I mean, if we never talk about anything else.
What you just said is you'rethe only person that can change
your beliefs.
Nobody else can.
And if we can come to grips andbelieve that wholeheartedly
about everything that we do, ourlife is a different life.
Our life is a different, oh mygosh.
So, jumping into beliefs realquick.
(43:13):
When I think about goals and Iwish I was the man that I am now
when my kids were you know alittle bit Well, I was trying to
figure out what it meant to bea dad.
Right Now they're a bit older,they're trying to get it.
But I start thinking about,because I think my beliefs in
what I was taught about how toset goals have changed, and I
would love to get your opinion,because there was always.
(43:34):
What are these smart goals?
Are these things that have youknow that they would tell me,
and they have to have a due dateand they have to have all these
things.
And now my belief is I can'tcontrol some of those things
that I was right, I could writethem down, but I can't control
the date that something's goingto happen.
I can control the activity thatI do and can predict, maybe,
(43:54):
the outcome, but now when Istart thinking about the goals
and, like you said, you wrotethe goal of writing your book
and getting that done you can.
You can do the activity ofwriting and putting pencils to
paper, but the actual date thatit gets, you know all those
things when we think, and thoseare all beliefs, right, I
believe I can do these things.
Talk to me a little about yourgoals and how you help folks
(44:17):
with goals these days.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Brother, this is such a cool question and here's why
I firmly believe in goals.
So we're clear.
However, you said exactlysomething that I think is so
important there's only twothings that we're really in full
control of Our activity youmentioned and our attitude.
It's the two things that no onehas any control over.
We have full control over ourattitude and our activity.
(44:41):
Now, can we control that COVIDhappened and the world shut down
?
No, we can't.
Or when the 2008 housing crashhappened, can we shut down?
No, we can't.
Or when the 2008 housing crashhappened, can we control that?
No, we can't.
Can we troll when naturaldisasters?
No, we can't.
And I guess, to that point,brother, what I have learned is
look, I have goals that I'mstriving for, but I'm so much
(45:03):
more focused on is it inalignment and is it fulfilling
for me?
Because I used to put goalsdown that other people would
think would be something to gofor Making seven figures in a
year.
I happened to make it at a veryyoung age.
I was 27 the first time I didit, but it didn't do anything
(45:25):
for me.
I didn't feel more fulfilled.
I knocked, in fact, because ofmy self-limiting beliefs on
money.
I actually felt terrible.
And so, as now that I'm 47 yearsold, now I can look at it and
go that's cool if I make sevenfigures, but what does that have
to do with me?
(45:45):
And alignment, and, and likefreedom.
If it's in alignment withfreedom, which it is financially
, then cool, let's go ahead anddo that, but it has to be in
complete alignment, or I'm justnot that interested in it and I
wouldn't have said that even 10years ago, I really didn't have
(46:05):
this amount of clarity of what Iwanted, until, I would really
say, since I lost my dad, justabout three years ago.
That's when I got such claritythat, look, we don't have a lot
of time on this earth.
I want to live every day onpurpose.
That's why I love the name ofyour show.
(46:25):
I want to live on purpose, Iwant to live boldly, I want to
truly be fulfilled.
But I didn't have that clarityuntil I lost my dad.
I really believe.
So, as awful as it was and astragic as it was, it's one of
those lessons that I gained inthat moment.
And so, yes, I believe in goals.
(46:47):
I'd still write them down today, but I make sure that they're
completely in alignment with meor I'm not chasing them Wow.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Yeah, so good, I got the three A's out of there,
right, the triple A alignment,activity, alignment and attitude
, and those three things that ifthose are in place, then your
goals can make sense.
The question I have, just as Ithink about the word enough,
(47:18):
comes up so much enough to beable, whether it's to do
whatever it is that it is, oryou know that those limiting
beliefs that didn't serve eitherof us or a whole lot of people,
because we just don't believethat you know whether God's
given it to us or or you know wedidn't get it when we were
growing up, or all these thingswhat are some things that you do
(47:41):
to help people realize we'remore than enough, that we are
these special, incredible beings?
Speaker 1 (47:47):
You know, that's one of my favorite things about
coaching and it's when peopleask me how come you can double
my company's revenue?
Well, how did you do that?
In large part, it came down tothat B, that belief.
I believe in it because I'mcoming in blind to a company.
I don't have all the emotionalbaggage, I don't have the scars,
(48:09):
I just see pure potential, justlike the Jennifer Klein I was
talking about.
I see this incredible humanbeing, this amazing company.
I see nothing but the best, andso I instill that belief.
The challenge that we have andthis is why having coaches that
around you are so important theycan see you in a greater light
(48:32):
than you can probably seeyourself.
That mirror that you look intoit lies to you all the time.
Yes, it does, because you don'tsee what other people see.
It's just like with my kids.
I tell my kids all the timethere's nothing they can't
accomplish and I mean it to thecore.
If they truly are willing toput in the work and they're
(48:53):
willing to execute, there'snothing they can't accomplish,
and I believe that.
But what happens is, along theway we get knocked down, we get
a setback.
We have these, you know, uh,financial challenges we have,
you know, death and and loss,and things happen, and so then
we start to believe that youknow what it just wasn't meant
(49:15):
to be.
I, this is what happened.
Therefore, I can't, and they'reall excuses, so we're clear.
But what I try to do with allof my clients and anybody that I
partner in is I bring that Band it's actually the most
recent keynote that I just puttogether.
I call it the ABCs that changeeverything, and that B is belief
(49:38):
, and it's just something that Isee it in people, just like
people can see it in me.
That's why I have coaches,right.
What am I missing when I'mlooking in that mirror?
So it's, it really is just, youknow, not having the scars and
the baggage and and justrealizing that you can do
anything that you put your mindto and if you're willing to put
(50:00):
in the work and execute, wow.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Hey guys, I was just thinking that at the last
question I said, oh man, how tolive a triple A life?
But we just added another A,which is associations to my
triple A life.
So now I got to figure out howto do that.
And you know, as I kind ofstarted the show and talk to
everybody about the power ofdoing a podcast, no-transcript,
(50:51):
and so I feel like I just stolean hour of your life so that you
could help me, and I've beenreally selfish of it, and so I
want to take the last 10 minutesand have you just talk about
what you want to talk about andthings that weren't, that were
Dr B going.
Hey, help me, I feel like I'mlaying on the couch and you're
just pouring into me all thesewonderful things.
(51:13):
But yeah, you came on mypodcast, so there's got to be a
few things that you want to makesure that all of our listeners
get to hear.
So please take some time andshare that.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
I mean, look, brother , I love what I do, so that that
for me, that fills my bucket.
Because, as I'm talking to youin the audience, guess what I'm
talking to myself too.
Right, I need this just as muchas anybody.
I need to remind myself to doall these things.
I guess what I would say youknow, something I'm I am
passionate about is I lovegrowing businesses, brother.
(51:46):
I absolutely love it.
And if somebody's listening andthey're like you know what?
I want to double my revenue.
I want to make more money.
Maybe we're a good fit, Maybewe are.
Look me up, I'm not sayingwe're a definite, because you
don't know me.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
I don't know you.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
But what I've found, brian, is when I team up with
the right group.
What I've found, brian, is whenI team up with the right group,
it is so cool because they havetheir zone of genius and then I
get to do mine.
So that would be one thing.
I would also say you know, just, I want people to really hear
to take off their masks.
It's something I wrote about inmy first book and it's
(52:25):
something that I truly ampassionate about.
Think about this for a secondMasks are meant for parties.
They are not meant for everydaylife.
Take them off.
It gets heavy, man, when you'rewearing these masks everywhere
you go.
I just want people to take themoff and show them their
beautiful self out.
(52:45):
That's that's what really movesthe world and it allows people
to show up in their best way.
So you know I didn't have anyspecific agenda other than have
an incredible conversation withyou, which I have.
So you know I'd love for peopleto support the let's Go Win
podcast, love for you to checkout let's Go Win dot com.
(53:06):
But other than that, brother, Ijust I enjoyed so much the
questions.
I think you bring insightfulconversation and you really
filled my bucket today.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Well, thank you for chatting I have been.
You know, sometimes you wake upin the morning and you go.
I don't know what my day'sgoing to look like, I just know
it's going to be good.
I don't know who's going tofill my day, I just know it's
going to be good.
I mean, those are part of, like, my affirmations when I get up.
And sometimes you know, rightaround, you know lunchtime or
(53:43):
one o'clock I'm.
You know I'm busy, got apodcast coming up.
You know I can't get ready forit.
I gotta get my energy, I gotta,you know, deliver.
And then you know, god justtakes over and he says no, you
don't have to do anything, letme.
You already planned it, youalready put it together, just
let it go.
And today's been one of thosedays where I'm more filled now
than I ever thought I could bewhen I woke up in the morning.
(54:05):
So I just want to thank you forthat and the part that you
played in making that happen.
And you know I think about nowI want to go win.
You know, whatever that meansin my life, that you know not
that I'm not winning now or Ihaven't won, but it just
inspires me to do it.
You know I just turned 60 backin March and I can't wait for
(54:25):
the next 12, 15 years of my life.
It's like I feel like it's justgetting started on all things
because of people like you andas we, you know, we start the
universe becoming the personuniverse and having people like
JM who will be able to come inand just speak to people and
talk to people.
I just think of all the peoplethat can benefit from the lives
(54:46):
that we continue to try to lead,and then our responsibility in
making sure that we become thebest that we can be so that we
can make that impact, and so youhave done that today in a big
way.
Do you have any final thoughtsas we close this out today?
Speaker 1 (55:01):
You know, I just have to say the way you're looking
at it, I think is amazing.
I hope everybody heard that.
I just have to say the wayyou're looking at it, I think is
amazing.
I hope everybody heard that.
I've heard so many people putthose limiting beliefs on age
where it's like, well, I'm 40,now what?
Now I'm 60.
And what you said is I cannotwait for the next 15, 20 years.
Like I have more wisdom todaythan I had 20 years ago, and I
(55:25):
think that's that's such abeautiful growth mindset.
It's like you are better todaythan I had 20 years ago, and I
think that's that's such abeautiful growth mindset.
It's like you are better todaythan you were yesterday.
That is the beauty of age.
And I hear people waste so muchtime and energy complaining
about something that you cannotchange.
Unless someone knows of a timemachine, which I do not, you
(55:45):
cannot change.
So why would you waste anyenergy talking about?
Oh, I remember how great it waswhen I was 25.
No, being 60 is beautiful,being 47 is beautiful.
So was being 27.
But you know what?
The next stage of life, thenext season.
There's something amazing, ifyou can see it.
(56:06):
And so you just inspired me bysaying that man and I love that
attitude Like gosh, I can't waitfor the next 10, 15, 20 years,
because I'm that much morewisdom, I have that much more
wisdom, I'm seasoned, I've beenable to experience life.
You cannot pay for that.
I just I love that outlook,brother, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (56:26):
Absolutely All right.
So you guys just heard from JM.
What an amazing podcast.
Go back, listen to it once,twice, if this is the first
podcast that you've listened to.
As far as Living Boldly WithPurpose, we have lots of them.
There are folks like JM that wetalk to every single day that we
get to, and so I want you tohear that you're God's greatest
gift.
He loves you if you allow himto.
(56:47):
I want you to have an amazingday.
Listen, like I said, go back,listen to these again.
Make sure that you're findingpeople in your life those 4As
that we talked about, the peoplethat in your life that can help
you move the needle.
Don't try to do this alone.
I think we kind of failourselves when we think that we
can go through this life byourselves and do it all by
ourselves.
(57:07):
Go, hook up with some people,do some wonderful things, check
out becomingthepersoncom and getinto part of the universe, and
we will talk to you on the nextone.
We have an amazing, awesome,awestruck day.
I'll talk to you guys soon.
(57:29):
Bye.
All right, welcome to another just incredible edition
of Living Boldly With Purpose.
And I am Dr B, I am your hosttoday and, as always, super
excited about just life and thethings that we get to do and the
time that we get to spend andthe relationships that we get to
make.
And as I do these podcasts,devin and I get further and
(00:43):
further in them and I and Icontinue to do.
I've done about about 400, 400episodes now to date in the last
several years.
I was at a one of thosenetworking meetings today where
you know you go to thenetworking meeting and everybody
you know talks about themselvesand they were asking well, you
know, have you enjoyed doing thepodcast?
(01:04):
And I said well, you know, Idon't think I would have got to
400 without enjoying doing it.
I would have quit.
But sometimes I fail to realizethat you know 80 to 90% I think
the last statistic I heard was88% of people who start podcasts
never get to 10 episodes andthat just blows me away because
(01:26):
you start asking why and, asI've been doing some coaching
and asking about podcasts, andI'm like so why did you stop
doing your podcast?
And they'll tell me things youknow like it wasn't very good,
or I didn't get a very bigaudience, or I don't know what
people liked when I you know thecontent that I was talking
about.
And then I go back and I askthis one question.
(01:48):
I say so.
I mean I want you to be honestwith me.
I want you to tell me in yourlifetime, of all the things
you've learned to do and do well, have you ever done things only
10 times or eight times andbeen good at it?
Hello, I mean like really, youthought that you were going to
do one podcast or two podcastsand you were going to be really
(02:10):
good at it.
How good were you at tying yourshoes or walking or any of
those things?
And to me it's kind of sad,because one of the things that
podcasting allows you to do isto be a better communicator, is
to be a better listener, is tobe a better, I think, overall
human being.
And so, as I'm beginning,starting my community and doing
(02:32):
all the things that I know, youknow the coaching things that
you do and the keynotes that youdo and you know are all about
helping people become the personthat they need to be, but I
don't know how we teach peopleto be more patient through the
process.
We live in this right.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Well, you know, it's fascinating to hear that because
I think of the first 10episodes.
I messed up two so badly in thefirst 10.
I forgot to record 45 minutesof one, totally forgot to hit
play or hit record.
And then the second one, oh, Idid the.
(03:08):
The camera wasn't even, itwasn't even on, so I had to
record both of those back toback.
Like, and that's what isfascinating is for someone to
stop so quickly.
Gosh, this is my favorite thingthat I do, brian.
Like literally, I meetincredible people like yourself
that are doing cool stuff in theworld and it's like no, I
(03:30):
wasn't that good at anything.
I can think of the first 10times.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, no yeah it's fascinating.
I mean, we wouldn't even go topractice if we could be good at
it when we first got started.
Right, when you think aboutathletics or anything, the
things that we do, we even thinkabout athletics or any things,
the things that we do, Iwouldn't think about
relationships.
I mean, what if you you know,sometimes, when I think of
people have those arrangedmarriages and stuff, like, how
can you be good at theconversation and the things that
(03:54):
you have and I'm just, you know, for people to give up so
quickly, you know, and to dosomething that is so good for
them that can help them in somany ways?
You know, I was, as I wastalking to lots of real estate
agents that were in there.
I'm like, how good would you beat talking to clients if you
talk to everybody that you knew?
You know for an hour a day, forhowever many episodes, that
(04:16):
you're able to do it.
How good would you be at askingthe questions and then being
able to listen to the answerbefore you open your mouth and
start talking?
If anything, it just teachesyou to be patient and wait for
answers and stop talking.
And so, like yourself, I lovedoing this.
I love the ability to just talkto.
I'm starting a community andit's called Becoming a Person
(04:38):
Universe.
You know where I want people tocome in so they can become
better, and I'm starting outwith all of my podcast guests,
so you'll be invited to come into be able to be in the
community and be able to, if youwould like to, to talk about
the things that you do.
But why I'm so excited about itis because, now that I've done
so many, it's hard sometimes toremember every conversation that
(05:01):
I had with all of those folks,and yet when I go back and
listen to them it brings up themind and then I want to connect
people.
So I said oh man, jim, youwould be really good to talk to.
And now I'm trying to do allthese connections.
And it's like I can't do thatmany connections.
But if I have a way or a placewhere people can get together
and I can share everything thatI've learned and that's the big
(05:23):
thing for me is I'm learning somuch.
I feel like I'm separating fromfolks because I get an hour or
four times a week, or whateverI'm doing, to talk to these
incredible people and I get togrow, but then all the like you
know, you're not on the sameboard that I'm on or whoever
else.
I mean, if you're doing, youknow it's great.
So I guess what I'm saying iscause I definitely want to get.
(05:52):
The gem in this story is um,it's so cool to be able to start
a podcast and I would encourageyou to do that.
I would encourage you to takepart in it, Even if you only get
to 20 episodes or 30 episodesor whatever it is.
You will be a better person fordoing it, and so I totally
agree with you, brother.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And just something to consider.
Consider.
I think I'm almost at 500episodes.
What if we considercollaborating, bringing them
together?
Now we have that big of acommunity.
I'm just saying I believe inabundance, I believe in sharing.
I I've been considering whatyou were talking about but I'm
like gosh, I have all theseother things going so we can go
(06:24):
off there and talk about that.
But it's a possibility becausethere's so many good people out
there and I want to share.
You know, I want to share theirgifts with them, with all the
other people I want them to know.
You know, brian, and I wantthem to know the last guest I
had, krista, and there's so manygood people to connect.
So it's a great idea, brother,I'm glad you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
And what's so cool is the waythat I found that most
invigorates me about some of thepodcasts that I do or all of
them is I get to find out whothe people are.
You know, because a lot ofpeople want to come on and tell
this is what I do, you know, andthis is you know how I do the
thing that I do and this is howI do the thing that I do and
this is why I got good at it.
But I love to start with story,because story says this is who
(07:09):
that person is, this is how theygot to be, and I think
everybody relates to.
Oh yeah, I did that in my life,or I did that in my life.
I was doing one.
Yes, we adopted a few boys thatwere on the Maury Povich show
back in the 90seties, like 95,and the guy that was I was on
his podcast yesterday and I hewas asking me about that story
and I said he says I was on theMaury Povich still one month
(07:33):
later.
And then you just think of howsmall the world really is and
how we connect and I would sayin every single podcast there's
somebody that I can connect toin a way that relates to me, and
I learned so much like, oh, Idid that, but if I would have
did what you do or did, I mighthave been better off right now.
(07:55):
But now I'm going to do it.
I'm going to take that example.
You know, I cannot have a penand not write down stuff.
Here's how dumb I was.
But I was watching podcasts, orI go on a podcast, I would
watch a person's podcast and I'mlike diligently taking notes
and I'm like trying to writedown so fast.
And then I realized, oh, dude,I could push pause.
(08:17):
I could actually just stop,take my time, write it down so I
can read it and then go further.
And I'm like it took me like 20or 30 podcasts to figure out.
Oh yeah, the pause buttonallows me to take my time, oh my
gosh.
But I go back and watch all ofthese and I take even more notes
from what we do live, and soit's so fun.
And so I want you to tell yourstory.
(08:38):
You know the floor is going tobe yours and I can tell them.
I guess they can start whereverthey want.
It's their story.
They can't get it wrong.
You know, sometimes I go whatif I said you can't, it's your
story, you can't?
I mean, it's whatever it is,even if you, even if you lied, I
wouldn't know.
I guess the people that areyour friends and family would
(08:58):
know that didn't happen.
Then that's another chance totalk and play and joke with them
.
If you did so, please tell yourstory.
I can't wait to hear it.
I can't wait to chop it up asanother fellow podcaster that's
out there that's doing the work,that's getting it done, who's
out there doing keynotes, Ican't wait to hear what you have
to say and take notes.
So go ahead and tell us exactlywho you are and can't wait.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, man, I appreciate that.
And can't we?
Yeah, man, no, I appreciatethat.
And I guess I will start as wetalked off air.
You know you said where, wheredo you live with?
You know common question thatwe ask.
And I live in Florida now, butI'm originally a Montana kid and
I'm proud of that.
It's something that I love.
Growing up in the Rockies, Ilove fly fishing, exploring the
mountains.
(09:41):
That was really what I grew updoing outside of just being an
athlete.
And I ended up playingbasketball in college until I
blew out my knee for the thirdtime.
And then I ended up going tostudy abroad, in the Netherlands
.
Well, why is that important?
When I got back from studyingin the Netherlands, somehow,
(10:02):
someway, I ended up graduatingcollege in four years.
So I ended up going to threeschools, got two degrees in four
years.
I don't know how it's possible,all those credits transferred,
but they did and I ended upmoving almost directly from
Montana to Northern California.
I didn't mean to.
Honestly, I was my brother,graduated high school, I
graduated college and I took aroad trip.
(10:24):
Honestly, I was my brother,graduated high school, I
graduated college and I took aroad trip, and my uncle lived
out in Folsom, california, and Ihad another one in Huntington
beach, so we go do this trip.
On the way back up, uh, on theway back from Huntington beach
to Montana, I called my mom andI said you know, I'm going to
drop Pat my brother, off to youin Nevada, I'm going to go back
and hang out with my uncle.
(10:44):
And I ended up staying inCalifornia for almost 20 years.
Oh gosh, and that's where I metmy wife that we've been married
now for 20 years.
We have two sons.
We have 19 and 15-year-old boys.
They are truly the everything.
I built and sold three financialservice companies in that time
(11:07):
and it was a great, great place.
I met a lot of wonderful people, but in the process I knew I
was going to sell that thirdcompany and I decided you know
what?
For some tax purposes, I'mgoing to go ahead and leave
California.
We ended up in a more taxfriendly state, in Florida, and
so that's where I've been forthe last four and a half years
(11:30):
and I built my current companycalled let's Go Win.
And Brian, I didn't mean tostart this company.
Honestly I didn't.
I wrote my first book theorange one behind me called
let's go win, and I actuallywrote that book for our two sons
because I wanted them to have aroad map in case my wife and I
(11:50):
got hit by a bus that they wouldknow some of the philosophies
that we had.
And the gal I was working withsaid man, you're selfish.
And I said what are you talkingabout?
She said if you only share thisbook with two human beings,
you're selfish.
And I said you're right,publish a book.
And it just took me on thisbeautiful journey that let's Go
Win is, and so, between coaching, consulting, podcasting,
(12:15):
writing a few more books, that'swhat I've been doing and I just
I love it, man, let's Go Win.
I'm truly passionate about it.
I get a chance to inspirepeople to live their best lives.
I get a chance to coach,consult, partner with companies,
because why I get hired ispeople hire me to double their
revenue.
That's really what I guessGod's gift was to me, and so
(12:38):
that's what I'm doing today andit's so much fun, man.
I just I love meeting greatpeople, doing cool stuff, and
when I get a chance to do what Ilove, which is sales leadership
, building teams and they get todo what they're great at, a lot
of times it's a.
It's a pretty cool synergy.
So that's me in in a nutshell,and I you know, I guess two to
(12:59):
three minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Man so good and what that did is brought up like way
so many questions for me and you.
As we do stuff and kind of ourlives are paralleled in a lot of
ways.
I was a you know an athlete andended up in California for 25
years, you know.
So I was there in SouthernCalifornia.
My son and daughter my sonworks for Pixar, so he's up in
Northern California, and adaughter that lives up there
(13:23):
that is working for a potterybarn, I think is what it is, one
of those companies that sheworks for and she's doing some
real estate and it's just so funto go back.
I just got back from Californialast week.
But what I really want to kindof talk about it as you come
from Montana.
You know I'm out in state RockyMountain State.
(13:43):
I grew up here in Denver andwe're trying to learn how do we
have our best lives and whatdoes that look like?
And there's an identity, youknow I think Tony Robbins
somebody said you know, the mostpowerful force in the universe
is being congruent with theidentity you hold for yourself.
And I want to kind of know, asyou were growing up, what that
identity looked like, becauseyou literally went from this
(14:04):
small there's no town in Montanathat's big, so I can't say that
it's a big town, right, it's asmall town into you know.
Now you're traveling all overthe world.
You're going to the Netherlands, you're going, you know, to
college and then you end up inNorthern California, which is
pretty populated.
And who you were, how did youmaintain or keep or knew you
(14:28):
were going to be successful?
I can't wait to talk about yourbook.
But what in your identity did,maybe had to shift?
Or was it just you had suchgreat upbringing that you always
knew that the world was your.
You couldn't lose.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I mean.
So here's it's a really goodquestion, because identity is
such a big thing for us.
And when I blew out my knee forthe third time, I suddenly went
from being JM the athlete tonow just a normal student.
That was a huge thing for me ata early age, at 20, 21 years
(15:04):
old.
That now I'm going from.
Everything I've done is sports.
That's how people know me,that's how I've you know really
that.
That's how I identified.
And one of the best things thathappened to me was that last
surgery.
And here's why because I got achance to find myself while I
was traveling all through Europeon trains myself, while I was
(15:26):
traveling all through Europe ontrains.
That's when I started myself-development journey,
reading a ton of books, and itgot me to ask questions such as
who am I?
What do I really want out ofthis life?
And these are questions thatoftentimes we get stuck on Like
I don't know what I really wantto do at 20 years old, shoot,
I'm 47 now and there's days thatI'm like I'm not quite sure if
I'm, because we're alwaysevolving, but the identity shift
(15:51):
to your point.
I went from being the athleteto now a normal student and then
I became a reader and then,when I moved to California, I
went right into business andnext thing I know, I became an
entrepreneur.
Now, what I would say is, I'mnot a big fan of labels unless
(16:11):
they serve you, and one of thethings that I found served me
was being an entrepreneur.
I really liked the feeling.
I liked what it brought to mein terms of I value freedom,
liked what it brought to me interms of I value freedom, I
value freedom of time, I valuefreedom financially, and so for
(16:33):
me, it was really finding thatidentity to say, okay, I
identify as a reader, I identifyas someone that loves competing
and winning, and that justserved me well, whether it was
on the athletic, you know, onthe, on the playing basketball,
or it was on, you know, thebusiness side of things, it
always served me.
(16:53):
And so when I moved toCalifornia, I just, you know,
identified is that you know thepositive ways that helped me.
Being a reader, having a growthmindset, really, you know,
wanting to win.
That served me in business,just as it did on when I was
playing hoops or I was playingfootball or baseball.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
So when I think of like identity and you know what
we hold for ourselves and I justI just finished a book called
Be Do have you know, theultimate success pile is
becoming the person before youtry to go do it.
I would love if you could giveme any examples in your life
where you tried to do and havebefore you became the person.
(17:35):
I got lots of them and I loveto ask that question because so
many of us think that that's theway to go.
Right, let me just start doing,or let me get.
Our society allows us to havethings, so let's say it's a
material thing, it's a car orsomething like that, so we go
buy this car that we can'tafford.
Then we go well, what do I gotto do to be able to keep it and
maintain and do everything.
But I've never yet become theperson.
(17:57):
And you just kind of talkedabout you know your personal
self-development journey thatyou went through.
That allowed you to become whatare maybe a couple things that
you might have done where you go?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
wait, that was kind of backwards I mean, I I think a
lot of people can relate tothat when they have kids.
I became a dad overnight and itwas like whoa, was I really
prepared for that?
Not, I mean, did I know whatthe heck I was doing?
Not really, but I knew I hadthis brand new baby boy that
(18:29):
just changed my entire life.
That immediately was a shock,right, because who?
Who prepared you for that?
Who?
You didn't go through school,you didn't go through how to
learn how to be a dad.
You had to become that as thatchild came in and you learned to
do that, and you know it's sointeresting.
(18:49):
You were talking about thepodcast people.
You know malcolm gladwell wrote, you know about 10 000 hour
rule.
You said 10 episodes.
They just forgot three zeros.
It's like they did 10 episodes.
It's like no, no, 10,000 hoursbefore you get to mastery.
And so if you look at that, whatin your life have you actually
(19:12):
mastered?
So, for instance, you and Iboth have done a lot of podcasts
, but I haven't done 10,000hours for it.
Right, so we're getting betterat it, but there's another level
and there's another level, andso I think I'm constantly
becoming.
I'm still becoming as as aparent.
I'm still becoming as a youknow, really knowing myself,
(19:36):
because we're constantlychanging, and so I don't really
believe that I I'll ever arrive,because the moment I do, then I
stopped learning, then Istopped growing.
I think I'm dead in the wateralready.
So I think the majority of mylife, whether it was writing
books or podcasting or startingbusinesses, I think I was doing
(19:59):
way before I'd become what, whatwas required.
But that's the beauty of it is,I got to get knocked down and I
got to screw things up and Igot to learn and continue to
become.
So I think that's one of thosequestions where we're constantly
becoming.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, it has to be.
Even if you, if you're able to,I think you can't help.
But do something.
Once you, you know, become thatperson.
So let's say it's shooting freethrows, right, you, you, you're
going to always have tocontinue to get better at
shooting free throws, but onceyou've done so many, you now
become the person who knows howto shoot a free throw.
Now you can't help but shootcorrectly and then you get to
(20:38):
have whatever you get, to havethe enjoyment of it going
through the net and then beingable to score the points that
come from it.
But how many people go up thereand like I want to have all
these points in a basketballgame but I don't know how to
shoot?
You know, and I haven't.
Even you know I'm going to doit, I'm going to go ahead and
shoot but it's never going to goin because I haven't gone
(20:59):
through the techniques and thefundamentals and all that
practice, things that allow youto become the person when you
started, you know, thinkingabout, you talked about doing a
lot of reading and yourself,yourself, self-development
process.
How would you and I know youcoach folks as well how do you
(21:19):
help somebody find where tostart?
Because everybody tells you,everybody coaches you and says
you need to haveself-development.
In fact, 20 percent of yourlife needs to be.
You know you growing andlearning.
And then you know coming likewell, where do I start?
What do I do?
You know how did you find that?
And then you know how are youhelping folks figure out?
(21:39):
Where do I start in thisjourney?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So I was pretty fortunate, my sister actually
gave me my first.
It was the art of motorcyclemaintenance, the Zen art of
motorcycle maintenance.
And then, shortly after that,then, I think, I picked up Think
and Grow Rich.
Then I picked up Man's Searchfor Meaning.
So I went into some deep booksfast, but I wasn't even a reader
(22:05):
.
I didn't really enjoy readingthrough the majority of my life
until I was riding on thesetrains.
So for me, I got fortunate thatmy sister gave me a book and I
fell in love with it.
Now to your point, with otherpeople that are going, well, I
don't even know where to start.
I like to ask questions.
I like to ask people.
(22:26):
You know, what are you reallysearching for?
What?
What is it that you'd like toum, you know, get better at?
What is it that you'd like toget better at?
What is something that you'reinterested in?
And if they're like abundanceor mindset or business, because
I've read so many differentthings, I have a chance to say
well, you might enjoy this.
(22:46):
And one of the first questionsI like to ask, brian is are you,
are you, a reader?
I actually just, uh, yesterdayI had a group coaching with with
a gal and I asked her and shesaid no, I'm really not Well.
Immediately, I know I'm notgoing to give her a 400 page
book that she's going to neverfinish Right I?
(23:07):
gave her a parable that I'm like.
I think you can absolutely getthrough this, because not that
reading is the end all be all,because I don't care, you could
listen to it, you could listento a podcast, but what I want
people to do is continuouslywant to learn and to be curious.
So I think it's just askingthose questions what are you
(23:27):
looking for?
What really gets you going, andthen kind of help guide them to
.
This is my experience.
This is what I enjoyed, becausesome of the books I mentioned I
think they're amazing, but thatdoesn't mean they're amazing
for everyone.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Oh, so good, and you're telling this story is
like some of these you dug intoand I'm thinking I wasn't a
reader and myself for aself-help book was probably not.
It was me watching crustydemons of dirt and trying to be
a dirt bike rider with jerrymcgrath.
And those guys are there.
But but literally, I think youknow the magic of thinking big
was one of those.
You know, the greatest salesmanin the world, uh, the alchemist
(24:05):
, some of those that are likeeasy, easier to read books that
kind of started me on my journey.
But you're so right because Ithink there were people, mentors
or people in my life thatsuggested the books based on
questions they had asked me.
You know, and I can remember somany times where I just showed
up at the back then you know wehad bookstores that you would go
(24:28):
to.
Before there was an Amazon andyou would just, you know there
was a self-help section that waslike the smallest section in
the whole.
You know the whole bookstoreand then you just kind of close
your eyes and then you pick one,but then I don't know, you know
, without somebody recommendingbased on maybe, something
they've read, it might've been alittle bit harder, but then,
(24:49):
once you get that, that muscleof of, and I want to learn, you
know, and now it's like I can,you know where, I think 20 years
ago, man, I, you know it washard to just to pick up and read
(25:16):
a few pages of something andreally wanting to listen to, you
know, the Tony Robbins or theLes Browns or the Zig Ziglars or
the guys that were there, and Ididn't even know who they were,
you know.
And then today, you know, as I,as I'm, sometimes we, sometimes
(25:37):
we as folks that are in thisspace I think we believe that
everybody's in the same space aswe are and then, like, that 400
page book is what we try togive to folks to be able to do
stuff.
And so thank you for kind ofjust walking through that Kind
of talk about your first bookthat you wrote, what inspired
(25:59):
you to write it and then what,but maybe some of after you
wrote it, like wow, this isbetter than I thought it was,
and maybe some of the thingsthat people have, you know, been
able to do as a result, or atleast told you that they've been
able to do as a result.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah, you know, know, I talked about writing that
book for almost five yearsbefore I actually put pen to
paper.
And at some point I because Iput my bathroom goals or I put
my goals in my bathroom here,excuse me and my eight-year-old
at the time said hey dad, how'sthat book coming?
(26:29):
And now you, it had been on mygoals for three years and I will
never lie to my kids.
So I had to sheepishly look atmy eight year old and say I have
a little bit of chapter onedone.
Within six months.
I finished writing the bookbecause he inspired me and
deflated me all at the same time.
Because he checked me on yousaid this is important, you're
(26:50):
teaching us that, you know.
Checked me on.
You said this is important,you're teaching us that you know
, put your goals in the mirrorand so you hold yourself
accountable.
And I wasn't doing it.
And once I finished it, brian,it was such a great experience
not even so much for the kids,because that same kid, my
eight-year-old, who's now 15 hestill hasn't read the book fully
(27:12):
, so as much as it was for himand and his older brother, it
ended up being a much biggerthing because I got to share
with the world, and you know,one of the cool things I start
with vulnerability is chapterone.
Now, why is that important?
Well, I was taught the boysdon't cry.
(27:33):
That was literally a lessonthat I was taught as a as a
young person, and I think it'sabsolutely terrible advice.
Now, that was what my dad wastaught from his grand, from his
dad, and his dad was taught fromhis dad, and one of the things
I wanted my boys to know is ait's not great advice.
I don't believe that it doesn'tmake you less of a man.
(27:54):
And b I want you to be able toreally show up as your authentic
self, to truly be vulnerable.
Uh, so you can show up as thebest version of you, and I've
had so many people that havecome up and said, oh my gosh, I
can't believe you started withthat chapter, but thank you,
because I, as a man or a female,I was taught that I'm not
(28:19):
supposed to show those emotions,that it made me weak somehow
and you know, obviously, breneBrown's done incredible work in
this space on vulnerability andI only did a chapter on it, but
it was one of those things thatI wanted my, my boys, to know.
A it's okay for you to cry.
B I don't want you to stuffyour emotions deep down.
I want you to share them sothat you can show up as the best
(28:42):
version of you.
So, story after story of justpeople that may have been
inspired.
They laughed about, you knowabout some of the stories in the
book.
It inspired them to dosomething to be better.
That's ultimately all thereason I wrote it.
It was intentionally for myboys initially, but it's become
so much bigger and it's cool,man.
(29:03):
It's one of those things mywife told me today.
She's like we've got anotherroyalty check.
So people are still buying thebook at Amazon, which is cool,
and apparently they're stillgetting some value, which makes
me happy.
That it's.
You know it's keeping thatgoing.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
When I think of winning and the, like you said,
being vulnerable and the stepsthat that folks need to go
through, then I also think aboutall the people that I talk to
who think that they won becausetheir team won or their favorite
sports, and you know, they comeback and they got the.
You know the name of the,whoever their favorite players
(29:42):
are.
And I'm not saying sportsaren't good.
We were both in sports, we bothlove sports.
It's amazing, but how do wehelp people go?
No, this is your life and yourability to win, not living
through somebody else who winsand I don't want to take you to
the stream of just professionalsports.
What about all the dads thatare on the sidelines of their
kids and they're living thiswinning moment through their
(30:07):
kids and the lessons they'reteaching them?
And so maybe just kind of yourthoughts on winning and not
others winning.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah, I get this question a lot.
Having a company like let's GoWin, people ask me all the time,
what does winning mean?
And so I started to say, well,gosh, I think I know what
winning means.
But then I actually went andlooked it up and there's a word
you're going to see every singletime when you look up winning.
You're going to seeself-development, you're going
to see self-growth, you're goingto see self-love, you're going
(30:39):
to see self-care.
The word self is in front everytime you look up the definition
.
Okay, well, to your point, it'snot about somebody else when it
starts with us.
So I actually teach people towin from within.
But when I looked at self, Iwas like, okay, well, what does
(31:02):
self mean?
I think I have an idea.
It's like ourself.
Well, to me, self stands forstrength, energy, energy, love
and freedom.
And where do you fall in theseareas of strength?
From a mental, from a physicaland from emotional standpoint?
Where do you from an energeticstandpoint?
(31:22):
Where do you stand from amental, physical and emotional
standpoint?
And I go through each one of theS, e, l, f, and that's one of
the things I train people on,because so often people forget
to take care of themselves andalso, especially, my female
clients.
I've talked about this manytimes.
(31:43):
When I ask my, my moms and galsthat I'm working with I'll,
I'll ask them one question everysingle time.
I'll say what did you do foryourself today?
And they'll list the kids, thehouse, the husband, the dog, the
car, the I mean the email it'sa litany of stuff and I said no,
no, no.
(32:03):
What did you do for you?
And they've almost becomeconditioned that because they
have this maternal thing, I needto take care of everyone else
first.
Well, the problem with that is,if you don't take care of you,
you can't show up as the bestversion for your family, for
(32:23):
your kids, for your job, and sotaking care of yourself to me,
that is winning.
That self-care that you giveyourself every single day, that
is truly winning, because thatallows you to show up as the
best version of you in whateverhat that you're wearing.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Well, yes, that is so good, you know, because one of
the things that we often talkabout is our ability to serve
others, like I usually ask myguests a question like when
you're, you know, in order tobecome the person or live boldly
with purpose, in order to livein purpose, I don't know if you
can do that without servingothers.
You know, I think it's likethat's a prerequisite of being
(33:07):
able to live in purpose.
But I think the part thatsometimes we forget is what you
were just talking, because ifyou don't, if you haven't served
the self portion of it, youcan't be able to serve others in
a way that is going to impactthem in ways that will change
forever.
Because if you're not whole ifyou're, I mean, we can be
working on it.
So I'm not saying you got to beperfected, but if you're not
(33:28):
working on you, it's really hardto help others.
I mean, would you agree withthat?
I mean, when you think aboutliving in purpose and serving
others, what are some of thethings we got to make sure we do
for ourselves in order to beable to do that?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Well, it's a great point.
And you cannot pour from anempty cup.
At the end of the day, Ifyou're not filling your cup, you
can't give anymore.
And there's a universal law,the law of ask and receive.
Like it's given, receive, given, receive.
You can't just give and giveand give.
If you do that, you'reupsetting a universal law and it
(34:04):
everything falls apart.
And that was something I had tolearn, Brian, because I like to
give, I love to help others,but guess what?
You also need to be able toreceive.
And I'll give you a simpleexample.
If somebody gives you acompliment, they're like hey,
Brian, you look good man.
So often people will be likewell, you know, it's kind of an
(34:27):
off hair day, or they'll deflectthe entire compliment instead
of just saying two words Thankyou.
And what's so fascinating aboutthat is you're actually taken
away from that person's joybecause they are trying to give
a compliment.
They are trying to say hey, man, I see you, I think you're
awesome.
And instead of just sayingthank you, people will be like
(34:50):
nah, nah, nah, and they're goingto try and be humble.
The problem with that is you'reliterally stealing their joy
and some of us that learn to behumble and have humility.
These are lessons I had to learn.
When somebody gives you acompliment, all you have to do
is say thank you, and now you'refeeding them, they're feeding
(35:10):
you, and now you were in flowwith one another.
So it's a universal law youhave to give.
You also have to receive.
So again, moms, dads, listening, you can't just give and give
and give to your kids.
You have to receive.
You need to receive that lovefor yourself first, so that you
(35:33):
can continue to pour into them.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Wow, so, so, so good.
I was just thinking about that,you know, as you were saying
that, you know, I told you guysat that meeting this morning and
so many people came up to meand to me now it's just thank
you, thank you.
I appreciate that.
But, yeah, five, 10, 20 yearsago, there's no way.
I said, oh, no, no, you know,and taking that away, well,
really, what my head reallypopped to right now when you
(35:57):
just said that is some of theaffirmations that you know.
So folks are getting startedthat are saying, and they'll say
, and they'll give theseaffirmations out to the universe
, so they'll put them on themirror and they'll look at
themselves, but do they reallyreceive it back to themselves?
As you know, hey, I, I'm goodat what I do, or I, you know, I
love the person that I'mbecoming, or whatever that
(36:18):
affirmation is.
Are you receiving that in orderfor it to actually, I guess,
take seed and then grow into theperson that you're trying to
become?
I mean, is that, I mean, evenif we're doing it for ourselves?
Is that like something that youtry to help people out with,
and that receiving part is eventhe things we say to ourself or
(36:40):
the things that we do toourselves.
We have to be kind, I guess.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Yeah, it's a huge point because, look, as great as
our parents were, they may havetaught us some things that
maybe weren't so great, and andmyself included as a parent,
right, we have self-limitingbeliefs that we gave to our, to
our kids.
That's just part of the deal,and so I'm going to.
I'll call her Jennifer.
(37:05):
I have a client.
She's incredibly smart, she'sfunny, she's beautiful.
She doesn't believe any ofthose things.
She has a real self-worthchallenge because of, you know,
some of her self-limitingbeliefs that she got from being
a.
She danced growing up and soyou had to be perfect, you had
to be of a certain weight, youhad to look a certain way, and
(37:28):
one of the things I taught herwas you have to rewire the
subconscious.
And so to your point with theseaffirmations.
One of my favorites that I sayall the time to clients is it's
called the perfect affirmation Iam whole, perfect, strong,
powerful, loving, harmonious andhappy.
(37:48):
And when I told her that, I said, jennifer, I need you to just
start to repeat this.
She says, but I don't believeit.
I said I understand that, butif you do it for the next 90
days, you're going to start to,because your brain literally
does not know the differencebetween reality and what, what
(38:09):
you're telling.
It does not know the difference.
So if you're feeding it thesepositive affirmations and you're
really starting to like rightbefore bed, if that's the last
thing that jennifer does whichis one of the pieces of homework
I give her the last thingbefore bed I need you to say I'm
whole, perfect, strong,powerful, loving, harmonious and
happy, and go to sleep.
(38:30):
And now I'm starting to see herblossom into this incredible
woman that I can see, but shejust couldn't see it for herself
.
But it's taking theseaffirmations, it's taking some
of the rewiring of hersubconscious so that she can
start to receive that in themirror and and start to tackle
(38:50):
some of the self-limitingbeliefs she had as a kid.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Gosh, you just hit home on so many things and when
I think you, you mentioned thisthis world where conscious mind
doesn't know the difference.
You know, our unconscious minddoesn't know the difference and
you think about the invisibleworld that is part of our lives.
When people say, well, there'sno real invisible world, I'm
like pick up a cell phone andtalk to somebody or what we're
doing, right, I'm in Coloradoand you're in Florida.
(39:16):
There's an invisible worldSomehow.
Your picture is showing up onmy screen.
I can't grab you and touch you.
It is absolutely 100% true.
And the things that we bringinto it.
It is absolutely 100% true.
And the things that we bringinto it.
Sometimes it seems more realthan that world that we, and I
especially, think about thatwhen we start thinking about
(39:36):
social media and our kids andthe things that they're growing
up and seeing, people's perfectlives and this underworld.
Is there a way to reallyconnect that invisible world to
what our reality, or just startbelieving our invisible world is
more powerful?
How are you helping people justkind of, you know, I guess
understand the differencebetween the two, or that they're
(39:57):
the same and there really isn'ta difference?
What's your thoughts there?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Yeah, it's a huge point because ultimately, we
create our own reality.
You know, yes, this is aphysical place that we're in,
but you are creating yourreality by what thoughts you
grab a hold of.
Now you mentioned your kids andI'll give you an affirmation
that I told my kids.
It's way too long, but everyday since they have been born, I
(40:24):
have either said it for them orthey said it once they could.
And I would ask them are you aleader?
They say yes.
I say why?
They say because I'm confident,strong, intelligent, athletic,
good looking, dynamic, popular,talented, independent boy with
growth mindset.
Now, why did I do that?
Because the world at some pointwas going to tell my kids that
(40:44):
they're not confident, thatthey're not strong, that they're
not athletic, that they're not.
You know, they're ugly.
They're going to tell themthese things and I want them to
know that with 100% certainty,you are these things, no matter
what the world tells you.
And I have a really cool story.
I won't tell the whole longthing, but my son was being
(41:06):
bullied because this kid calledhim fat.
And I said well, what happened,trey?
And this is my younger son, andhe said well, I said what did
you say and he said I just saidI'm confident, strong,
intelligent, athletic, goodlooking, dynamic, popular,
talented, independent boy withgrowth mindset.
(41:26):
And I said what'd the bully do?
He goes.
He didn't know what to do, dad,and I was so proud as a dad, I
was like he literally combatedthis bully and by saying no,
this is who I am, it doesn'tmatter what you say.
And so if a seven-year-old cando that which is how old Trey
(41:47):
was when that happened I think a47-year-old, I think a
57-year-old, I think any age cando the same thing for
themselves.
Because here's the truth Peopleare going to say terrible things
about you at some point in yourlife and you need to have the
resolution and strength andconfidence to say that's just
their opinion.
I have no control over theiropinion.
I have no control over theiropinion.
(42:08):
I only have control over mythoughts and no one.
Here's the hard truth forpeople to accept, and I want you
to hear this, guys no one canchange your beliefs, but you.
You are the only person thatcan do that.
Now I know you're saying no, myhusband or wife or my kids they
(42:28):
can push my buttons?
Nope, they don't have thatpower.
Only you have that power.
But what are you feeding?
Just like Brian was talkingabout earlier, what are you
feeding your mind on a dailybasis?
Are you feeding it positivethings, are you telling yourself
that you're amazing andpowerful and strong, or are you
buying into just someone else'sopinion?
Speaker 2 (42:52):
I mean, if we never talk about anything else.
What you just said is you'rethe only person that can change
your beliefs.
Nobody else can.
And if we can come to grips andbelieve that wholeheartedly
about everything that we do, ourlife is a different life.
Our life is a different, oh mygosh.
So, jumping into beliefs realquick.
(43:13):
When I think about goals and Iwish I was the man that I am now
when my kids were you know alittle bit Well, I was trying to
figure out what it meant to bea dad.
Right Now they're a bit older,they're trying to get it.
But I start thinking about,because I think my beliefs in
what I was taught about how toset goals have changed, and I
would love to get your opinion,because there was always.
(43:34):
What are these smart goals?
Are these things that have youknow that they would tell me,
and they have to have a due dateand they have to have all these
things.
And now my belief is I can'tcontrol some of those things
that I was right, I could writethem down, but I can't control
the date that something's goingto happen.
I can control the activity thatI do and can predict, maybe,
(43:54):
the outcome, but now when Istart thinking about the goals
and, like you said, you wrotethe goal of writing your book
and getting that done you can.
You can do the activity ofwriting and putting pencils to
paper, but the actual date thatit gets, you know all those
things when we think, and thoseare all beliefs, right, I
believe I can do these things.
Talk to me a little about yourgoals and how you help folks
(44:17):
with goals these days.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Brother, this is such a cool question and here's why
I firmly believe in goals.
So we're clear.
However, you said exactlysomething that I think is so
important there's only twothings that we're really in full
control of Our activity youmentioned and our attitude.
It's the two things that no onehas any control over.
We have full control over ourattitude and our activity.
(44:41):
Now, can we control that COVIDhappened and the world shut down
?
No, we can't.
Or when the 2008 housing crashhappened, can we shut down?
No, we can't.
Or when the 2008 housing crashhappened, can we control that?
No, we can't.
Can we troll when naturaldisasters?
No, we can't.
And I guess, to that point,brother, what I have learned is
look, I have goals that I'mstriving for, but I'm so much
(45:03):
more focused on is it inalignment and is it fulfilling
for me?
Because I used to put goalsdown that other people would
think would be something to gofor Making seven figures in a
year.
I happened to make it at a veryyoung age.
I was 27 the first time I didit, but it didn't do anything
(45:25):
for me.
I didn't feel more fulfilled.
I knocked, in fact, because ofmy self-limiting beliefs on
money.
I actually felt terrible.
And so, as now that I'm 47 yearsold, now I can look at it and
go that's cool if I make sevenfigures, but what does that have
to do with me?
(45:45):
And alignment, and, and likefreedom.
If it's in alignment withfreedom, which it is financially
, then cool, let's go ahead anddo that, but it has to be in
complete alignment, or I'm justnot that interested in it and I
wouldn't have said that even 10years ago, I really didn't have
(46:05):
this amount of clarity of what Iwanted, until, I would really
say, since I lost my dad, justabout three years ago.
That's when I got such claritythat, look, we don't have a lot
of time on this earth.
I want to live every day onpurpose.
That's why I love the name ofyour show.
(46:25):
I want to live on purpose, Iwant to live boldly, I want to
truly be fulfilled.
But I didn't have that clarityuntil I lost my dad.
I really believe.
So, as awful as it was and astragic as it was, it's one of
those lessons that I gained inthat moment.
And so, yes, I believe in goals.
(46:47):
I'd still write them down today, but I make sure that they're
completely in alignment with meor I'm not chasing them Wow.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Yeah, so good, I got the three A's out of there,
right, the triple A alignment,activity, alignment and attitude
, and those three things that ifthose are in place, then your
goals can make sense.
The question I have, just as Ithink about the word enough,
(47:18):
comes up so much enough to beable, whether it's to do
whatever it is that it is, oryou know that those limiting
beliefs that didn't serve eitherof us or a whole lot of people,
because we just don't believethat you know whether God's
given it to us or or you know wedidn't get it when we were
growing up, or all these thingswhat are some things that you do
(47:41):
to help people realize we'remore than enough, that we are
these special, incredible beings?
Speaker 1 (47:47):
You know, that's one of my favorite things about
coaching and it's when peopleask me how come you can double
my company's revenue?
Well, how did you do that?
In large part, it came down tothat B, that belief.
I believe in it because I'mcoming in blind to a company.
I don't have all the emotionalbaggage, I don't have the scars,
(48:09):
I just see pure potential, justlike the Jennifer Klein I was
talking about.
I see this incredible humanbeing, this amazing company.
I see nothing but the best, andso I instill that belief.
The challenge that we have andthis is why having coaches that
around you are so important theycan see you in a greater light
(48:32):
than you can probably seeyourself.
That mirror that you look intoit lies to you all the time.
Yes, it does, because you don'tsee what other people see.
It's just like with my kids.
I tell my kids all the timethere's nothing they can't
accomplish and I mean it to thecore.
If they truly are willing toput in the work and they're
(48:53):
willing to execute, there'snothing they can't accomplish,
and I believe that.
But what happens is, along theway we get knocked down, we get
a setback.
We have these, you know, uh,financial challenges we have,
you know, death and and loss,and things happen, and so then
we start to believe that youknow what it just wasn't meant
(49:15):
to be.
I, this is what happened.
Therefore, I can't, and they'reall excuses, so we're clear.
But what I try to do with allof my clients and anybody that I
partner in is I bring that Band it's actually the most
recent keynote that I just puttogether.
I call it the ABCs that changeeverything, and that B is belief
(49:38):
, and it's just something that Isee it in people, just like
people can see it in me.
That's why I have coaches,right.
What am I missing when I'mlooking in that mirror?
So it's, it really is just, youknow, not having the scars and
the baggage and and justrealizing that you can do
anything that you put your mindto and if you're willing to put
(50:00):
in the work and execute, wow.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Hey guys, I was just thinking that at the last
question I said, oh man, how tolive a triple A life?
But we just added another A,which is associations to my
triple A life.
So now I got to figure out howto do that.
And you know, as I kind ofstarted the show and talk to
everybody about the power ofdoing a podcast, no-transcript,
(50:51):
and so I feel like I just stolean hour of your life so that you
could help me, and I've beenreally selfish of it, and so I
want to take the last 10 minutesand have you just talk about
what you want to talk about andthings that weren't, that were
Dr B going.
Hey, help me, I feel like I'mlaying on the couch and you're
just pouring into me all thesewonderful things.
(51:13):
But yeah, you came on mypodcast, so there's got to be a
few things that you want to makesure that all of our listeners
get to hear.
So please take some time andshare that.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
I mean, look, brother , I love what I do, so that that
for me, that fills my bucket.
Because, as I'm talking to youin the audience, guess what I'm
talking to myself too.
Right, I need this just as muchas anybody.
I need to remind myself to doall these things.
I guess what I would say youknow, something I'm I am
passionate about is I lovegrowing businesses, brother.
(51:46):
I absolutely love it.
And if somebody's listening andthey're like you know what?
I want to double my revenue.
I want to make more money.
Maybe we're a good fit, Maybewe are.
Look me up, I'm not sayingwe're a definite, because you
don't know me.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
I don't know you.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
But what I've found, brian, is when I team up with
the right group.
What I've found, brian, is whenI team up with the right group,
it is so cool because they havetheir zone of genius and then I
get to do mine.
So that would be one thing.
I would also say you know, just, I want people to really hear
to take off their masks.
It's something I wrote about inmy first book and it's
(52:25):
something that I truly ampassionate about.
Think about this for a secondMasks are meant for parties.
They are not meant for everydaylife.
Take them off.
It gets heavy, man, when you'rewearing these masks everywhere
you go.
I just want people to take themoff and show them their
beautiful self out.
(52:45):
That's that's what really movesthe world and it allows people
to show up in their best way.
So you know I didn't have anyspecific agenda other than have
an incredible conversation withyou, which I have.
So you know I'd love for peopleto support the let's Go Win
podcast, love for you to checkout let's Go Win dot com.
(53:06):
But other than that, brother, Ijust I enjoyed so much the
questions.
I think you bring insightfulconversation and you really
filled my bucket today.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Well, thank you for chatting I have been.
You know, sometimes you wake upin the morning and you go.
I don't know what my day'sgoing to look like, I just know
it's going to be good.
I don't know who's going tofill my day, I just know it's
going to be good.
I mean, those are part of, like, my affirmations when I get up.
And sometimes you know, rightaround, you know lunchtime or
(53:43):
one o'clock I'm.
You know I'm busy, got apodcast coming up.
You know I can't get ready forit.
I gotta get my energy, I gotta,you know, deliver.
And then you know, god justtakes over and he says no, you
don't have to do anything, letme.
You already planned it, youalready put it together, just
let it go.
And today's been one of thosedays where I'm more filled now
than I ever thought I could bewhen I woke up in the morning.
(54:05):
So I just want to thank you forthat and the part that you
played in making that happen.
And you know I think about nowI want to go win.
You know, whatever that meansin my life, that you know not
that I'm not winning now or Ihaven't won, but it just
inspires me to do it.
You know I just turned 60 backin March and I can't wait for
(54:25):
the next 12, 15 years of my life.
It's like I feel like it's justgetting started on all things
because of people like you andas we, you know, we start the
universe becoming the personuniverse and having people like
JM who will be able to come inand just speak to people and
talk to people.
I just think of all the peoplethat can benefit from the lives
(54:46):
that we continue to try to lead,and then our responsibility in
making sure that we become thebest that we can be so that we
can make that impact, and so youhave done that today in a big
way.
Do you have any final thoughtsas we close this out today?
Speaker 1 (55:01):
You know, I just have to say the way you're looking
at it, I think is amazing.
I hope everybody heard that.
I just have to say the wayyou're looking at it, I think is
amazing.
I hope everybody heard that.
I've heard so many people putthose limiting beliefs on age
where it's like, well, I'm 40,now what?
Now I'm 60.
And what you said is I cannotwait for the next 15, 20 years.
Like I have more wisdom todaythan I had 20 years ago, and I
(55:25):
think that's that's such abeautiful growth mindset.
It's like you are better todaythan I had 20 years ago, and I
think that's that's such abeautiful growth mindset.
It's like you are better todaythan you were yesterday.
That is the beauty of age.
And I hear people waste so muchtime and energy complaining
about something that you cannotchange.
Unless someone knows of a timemachine, which I do not, you
(55:45):
cannot change.
So why would you waste anyenergy talking about?
Oh, I remember how great it waswhen I was 25.
No, being 60 is beautiful,being 47 is beautiful.
So was being 27.
But you know what?
The next stage of life, thenext season.
There's something amazing, ifyou can see it.
(56:06):
And so you just inspired me bysaying that man and I love that
attitude Like gosh, I can't waitfor the next 10, 15, 20 years,
because I'm that much morewisdom, I have that much more
wisdom, I'm seasoned, I've beenable to experience life.
You cannot pay for that.
I just I love that outlook,brother, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (56:26):
Absolutely All right.
So you guys just heard from JM.
What an amazing podcast.
Go back, listen to it once,twice, if this is the first
podcast that you've listened to.
As far as Living Boldly WithPurpose, we have lots of them.
There are folks like JM that wetalk to every single day that we
get to, and so I want you tohear that you're God's greatest
gift.
He loves you if you allow himto.
(56:47):
I want you to have an amazingday.
Listen, like I said, go back,listen to these again.
Make sure that you're findingpeople in your life those 4As
that we talked about, the peoplethat in your life that can help
you move the needle.
Don't try to do this alone.
I think we kind of failourselves when we think that we
can go through this life byourselves and do it all by
ourselves.
(57:07):
Go, hook up with some people,do some wonderful things, check
out becomingthepersoncom and getinto part of the universe, and
we will talk to you on the nextone.
We have an amazing, awesome,awestruck day.
I'll talk to you guys soon.
(57:29):
Bye.
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