The Power of Personal Growth: Paul Howard Flowers Jr.'s Journey

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What happens when you stop letting your past dictate your future? Paul Howard Flowers Jr. takes us on a powerful journey from his South Side Chicago roots to becoming a successful entrepreneur, podcaster, and multi-time Amazon bestselling author.

Growing up in the Mary Nook neighborhood after losing his father at age three, Paul's path wasn't predestined for success. Yet through a series of intentional choices—joining Toastmasters after receiving brutally honest feedback, embracing personal development, and challenging traditional career expectations—he transformed his life trajectory. His turning point came when he realized: "If you don't put your past in your past, your past is in your present, and whatever is in your present is ultimately creating your future."

Paul shares intimate details about his professional evolution from working as a janitor while in college to discovering opportunities in direct sales that revealed the power of residual income. He discusses his decision to launch his own insurance advisory practice after recognizing that "legal, moral, and ethical should be a part of every transaction." Now partnering with hospitals and municipalities, he helps organizations save millions on healthcare costs while maintaining quality outcomes.

Throughout our conversation, Paul emphasizes the importance of information diet ("Garbage in, garbage out. Greatness in, greatness out."), the transformative power of consistent personal development, and how he's passing these lessons to his children through daily affirmations. His parenting philosophy centers on helping his children develop strong identities: "I am strong, I am smart, I am beautiful, I am kind" – ensuring they define themselves rather than letting others define them.

What makes this episode especially valuable is Paul's transparency about overcoming self-doubt to launch his podcast and write his books. His message resonates with anyone feeling stuck: success doesn't require special advantages, just consistent effort in areas available to everyone—improving communication, developing a positive mindset, and taking action despite fear.

Ready to reprogram your thinking and take control of your future? This conversation might just be the catalyst you need.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And I started.
I mean I had people that wereNBA players.
I had people that were actors.
I had I guess what you knowsome musicians.
I had Ronnie DeVoe from youknow New Edition, that was on,
and I, you know I had some youknow NFL Super Bowl players.
But then I had what I think Iwas most excited about is I had

(00:21):
regular people that are making adifference in their communities
on a daily basis.
You know, I went from peoplewho had been in jail.
I had one brother that was inthe jail for 19 years and when
the crime was committed, I meanhe was in prison for 19 years

(00:41):
before he got exonerated andwhen he was in, when the crime
happened, he happened to be injail, and this was in Chicago.
So they manipulated the system.
I know that's where you're from.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
It took 19 years, with the pills and everything to
prove.
This man was in jail when thecrime happened and they finally
exonerated him and he wasn't madat anybody.
I said, oh my gosh, this is socool.
So it's just been folks likeyou who come out on an everyday
basis and just tell us hey, thisis what it means to be

(01:15):
successful.
This is what it means not to bestuck.
This is what it means when wehave five pillars trust, faith,
identity, health and finance arethe five pillars that I've been
working with.
That, just with everybody.
How do we interact with identity?
How do we begin the identity?
So, whether it's a person whogrew up in a rough neighborhood

(01:36):
or a person who grew up with,you know, hollywood parents, you
know it doesn't matter what it.
How did your identity getshaped?
Folks that have we've done alot about talking what it means
to be a dad.
I'm sure I'll ask you thattoday as well, and not from the
perspective of you know.
We all know that our kids needthat.

(01:58):
You know that is one of themost important relationships and
I don't think anybody is goingto argue from the child side
that a child needs to have afather in their lives, you know.
But kind of from theperspective I've been asking is
what does it mean when you takeon that responsibility being a
dad?
How does that who you are andhow you interact in life?

(02:19):
You know, I've had some amazingdads who have said, hey, my,
you know, the mom of my childdidn't want me in the life and
they did everything they couldto make sure that I wasn't
around, because we broke up andthen they had somebody else and
our court system and our systemshaven't been on the side of

(02:41):
dads for so long and the hoopsand everything that they've had
to jump through.
You know somebody's drivinglike from Florida to North
Carolina every weekend just tomake sure that they can see
their child and then to have themom go to another state at some
point to stop them from doingit.
It's just, you know, it's justamazing.

(03:01):
And then you have some familiesthat were just you know, hey,
this is.
I had one brother who said, youknow, when their son was born
they said I would love for him,we want him to go to an Ivy
League, college and everythingwe're going to do in our lives

(03:23):
to be able to do that, or stillwant him to be a kid, still want
him to have relationships,still wanted him to feel like he
was growing up as a, you know,as a normal child, but with the
intent like, by the time you'refive, you're going to know a
couple languages.
And I think he ended uplearning new languages.
Well, what's the best time inour lives to learn languages?

(03:43):
Right?
When we absorb right.
So that was, that was a benefit, uh.
And then he ended up going toan ivy league college and
getting his phd.
Uh, it was really cool.
About a month and a half ago, Igot to interview the son and ask
him what it was like to grow upwith the expectation that you

(04:04):
know your parents had on you inyour life.
And he's like it was fantastic.
I never felt pressured that Ihad to be somebody, and yet they
woven in, you know, by givingexperiences, like you know he
had been to I don't know howmany countries by the time he
was 15.
So that's not like puttingpressure on you to achieve,
that's just saying 15.

(04:25):
So that's not like puttingpressure on you to achieve,
that's just saying here's someexperiences that other people
have, that might be something.
And so it's just been fantasticdoing this and I can't wait to
talk to you.
Like all of our guests, I'veasked Paul to tell his story, to
say, hey, what is it?
Because one of the things thatwe get to do sometimes is we get
to talk about the things we doLike this is I'm a doctor, or

(04:45):
I'm a, you know, an attorney, oryou know I, you know I work at
a insurance company, or you knowI've worked at the plant for so
long and you're like well, whoare you?
I want to know who you are.
You know, and so you know,don't tell me.
I want people to tell me whatthey do, because I think that's
important.
But what I really love is howyou became that person who could

(05:07):
do what you do.
What are the things you know?
What was your childhood like?
And I think people can relate.
I have yet to find somebody onone of my podcasts that I
haven't found something incommon with that.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I couldn't relate to that.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
I don't know something, and it just brings us
so much together.
As a result, I even started ashow it's called why Love Waits
that we do on Monday nights,about once or twice a month now,
where we put men and womentogether and try to find out why
.
When we think about black womenand black women 40, I think

(05:42):
it's forty nine, point ninepercent of black women who are
over the age of 40 have neverbeen married and 75% of them
have at least one child.
So there is an issue where whyaren't black men part of the
equation?
And what are you being taughtas a young girl about who we are

(06:04):
and what we represent?
And you know, in order for youknow, marriages to happen, and
you know we I personally believethat the family is one of the
strongest institutions that hasever been put to.
You know, been put together.
And we think about when we goback in our history and we think
about the, you know, thethirties and the forties and the
f 50s, where the Black familywas so strong, in fact, our

(06:27):
education system, when we weresegregated and there were Black
schools and where we werepassing more tests.
We were actually ahead of ourwhite counterparts in our
education, and then we did thisthing in our country called
integration and they bused us toschools, put us in back of
classrooms and then took dadsout of the equation, right with

(06:47):
our welfare system and all theseother things, and we just now
see what's happened is, you know, in the last 30 years as a
result of men being taken out offamilies and then this whole
thought.
So you know a lot of thatthought process that we've been
able to talk about, and so thisis so fun, and so I want you to
tell your story.
I know you grew up in Chicagoand we've had many people that

(07:10):
have grown up in that area andlove to hear what your
experiences are.
And now you run a successfulcompany and you're able you know
where we go, okay, where do wesee that?
You know, sometimes I'llinterview a Black.
He was one of the topphysicians, heart surgeons in
the you know, and that you know.
Sometimes I'll interview a Black.
He was a, like, one of the topphysicians, heart surgeons in
the you know, and that's noteverybody.
But how many of us havebusinesses that are thriving,

(07:33):
that are working, that we and wejust go, okay.
So why don't we see that on,depicted on television.
You know, why don't we see thatin our communities?
Why do our young Black menbelieve that they need to be
athletes and stuff?
And so thank you for being ontoday, thank you for being
willing to spend the time withus and giving me the opportunity
to spend a few minutes justtalking about why this podcast

(07:56):
exists.
But I want you to kind of tellyour story.
So thank you again for being on.
Can't wait to hear it.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Excellent.
Well, dr B, first and foremost,thank you for inviting me on
the show.
It's an absolute pleasure andan honor to be here and share a
few moments of your time, aswell as grace, the ears of the
listeners of the show, with justa little bit about myself.
So I, like you mentioned,started off by asking you that
question which prompted you tosay let's go ahead and hit
record.

(08:22):
I'm curious by nature, so Ilove to connect with people and
I love to ask questions andlearn, as that's one of the
things that I'm sure we'll getinto later isn't really
highlighted in our community.
That drive, that inner drive toactually learn, and with that
I'll introduce myself, share abit about my story and we can go
from there.

(08:42):
So, paul, like the Saint HowardFlowers Jr, I'm my father's son
and I started out in Chicago,like many individuals in Chicago
, with a little bit of trauma inthe household.
My father passed when I wasthree and from there my mother
raised myself and my sister itwas just the two of us siblings
in a home in a nice area inChicago.

(09:03):
We grew up in Mary Nook, whichwas, I believe, one of the first
HOAs in the state of Illinois,if not the city of Chicago,
maybe both the growing up on theSouth side.
It's not what many people mayhave the perception, that it is
where it's all violence andcrazy and wild Like.
It's a really nice neighborhood.
You know people teachers,educators, policemen, firemen

(09:28):
were in the Mary Nook area asthat was one of the more
prominent neighborhoods thatthose types of individuals would
work in.
Excuse me that thoseprofessions would want to live
in that neighborhood becausethey had to stay in the city of
Chicago.
So you've got like your MaryNook, your Peel Hill Again,
those are actually in the cityof Chicago and a few other areas
Went to private Catholic schoolall my life.

(09:49):
So from that aspect, my motherwanted us to be in a little bit
more of a I'll call it acontrolled environment for all
intents and purposes, having anon-religious nuclear family,
meaning inside the directhousehold, a Baptist extended

(10:09):
family, which would be myfather's side of the family, and
then a Catholic school systemwhere we learned to stand, sit
kneel, stand, sit, kneel, stand,sit kneel and don't get it out
of order.
Okay, anybody that's gone toCatholic school understands
exactly what I mean.
I had a great childhood, thoughwe traveled, so I was very

(10:30):
fortunate that my motheractually wanted to expose us to
things and have the resources toexpose us to things and not
just kind of keep us in theselittle boxes.
So everything from differentcountries, I think before I went
to let me see, I'm trying tothink of how old I was.
I know we'd been to three orfour countries on a cruise, as
well as a couple of places inMexico, I want to say, before I

(10:53):
was 20, definitely before theage of 22.
High school, as a matter offact, prior to starting college,
let me say this um, I was inboy scouts and my mother, I got
a phone call basically sayinghey, we've got space on this
trip, can your son go?
And the trip was to japan.

(11:15):
Really, at 17 years old, I hadthe opportunity to go to japan
for two weeks with the scouts,where we not only did the usual
camping thing but we stayed in acouple different hotels in
various parts of Tokyo andsurrounding cities, as well as
we were able to live with thehost family for several days

(11:35):
also.
So when you're exposed to thevarieties of cultures that exist
far, far, far, far, far farfrom here at a young age, you
tend to have a bit more openness, more tolerance, more
understanding than those thatare only really exposed to very
little or have the opportunityto see very little inside of

(11:56):
their adolescent years, whichagain are very formative years
to who we ultimately will be andwhat types of risks we will
take and types of experiencesthat we'll look for as we grow
older.
Moving out of the house, at 17,I went to college at Southern
Illinois University inCarbondale, costa Luques, so
that's five hours south ofChicago.

(12:18):
Phenomenal place it was like amini Chicago, was the joke,
because so many people fromChicago went there.
I started as a second semesterfreshman at 17 because I'd taken
a CLEP test and had someadditional college credit.
So by the time I finished thefirst semester, before I even
turned 18, I was already asophomore, because my birthday's
at the end of December and thatjust kind of let me know that,

(12:41):
hey, I can go even faster, right?
A mild story from years before,where I had the opportunity to
skip a grade but I didn'tbecause of fear of leaving the
old behind, right?
So that was something thatimpacted me.
But as I got older I realizedthat I could have continued
further faster and there's noproblem with that right.
Sometimes you do have to leavejust little nuggets I dropped

(13:02):
throughout the story.
Sometimes you have to leavethose things that aren't
necessarily serving you in thepast because they're not serving
your future or they'll keep youin a space where you're
destined for so much greater.
And I had that happen severaltimes throughout my life and
I'll probably weave more ofthose stories into the
conversation.
But fast forward a little bit.
Let's go back to college.

(13:23):
I got involved in toastmasters.
I got involved in fraternitykappa alpha order, not kappa
alpha psi so I wasn't throwingup the yo, I was more of a
gentleman, which is kappa alphaorder, uh, fraternity and uh,
mason at that point as well.
So I understood some things thatare uh, I look at life
differently.
Let me just put it like that.

(13:44):
I like origins of things.
So when I initially looked atjoining a fraternity, there was,
of course, a Divine Nine and Isaid, well, you know, where does
all that come from?
And as I did a little bit moreresearch, it turns out that they
had their roots in Prince PaulMasonry, and that was where I
decided to plant the proverbialflag of organizations that I

(14:04):
partnered with.
So Toastmasters, let's seeFreemasonry, and personal
development really took hold ofme in my later years in college
as a result of getting involvedin direct sales we know it as
network marketing and thatindustry quite frankly changed
my life.

(14:24):
I didn't really have the desirefor learning.
It wasn't this big thing thatwas exciting for us, although I
did a lot of reading as a youth.
By the time you get to collegeand then you got textbooks this
thick and $300.
It's like man, they make readinga chore or at least pricey.
From medical microbiology tomedical botany, advanced

(14:45):
cellular biology I was aphysiology major, turned
biological sciences majorbecause I didn't want to take
Calc 2.
And it was refreshing once Ibegan to reestablish that love
for learning as a result ofbeing involved in that direct
sales company.
So this kind of starts me intothe professional part of my life

(15:06):
that has grown since then.
It was technically consideredan insurance in 16 states, legal
insurance, and the beautifulpart about it was I saw people
that look like myself making aquarter million dollars, half
million dollars, you know, amillion dollars a year, working

(15:26):
from home residually.
I said, wait a second, I wassupposed to be a doctor and,
from what I know, doctors haveto go to work every day.
Right, I have whatever theschedule is every day until they
retire.
So you're telling me that youcan sell a product one time and

(15:51):
get paid for it over and overand over and over and over again
.
I said where the hell have theybeen hiding this information?
You want to talk aboutinformation being hidden, talk
about the concept of residualincome and residual income being
something that is.
I'll say it was new to me in my20s for sure.

(16:11):
I'm not sure that it'ssomething that well.
You know what?
Let me rephrase that Nowadays,with everyone talking about how
to make money online and I don'tlike to use the word should
it's more commonplace for peopleto understand that they can
build something or put a systemtogether where they can get paid
multiple times for doingsomething one time, like setting

(16:35):
up automated marketing on anonline store, and then getting
paid month after month aftermonth.
So I got involved in thiscompany.
I reestablished my love forlearning, I got around people
that were making all this moneyand I started to have some
success in the industry myself,built a nice team of I think 50
or some odd and fast forward.
I finally leave college Corps,so I did a program called Leader

(17:06):
Corps and that ultimately ledme to when I finished at SIU in
2009,.
I went to Georgetown in DC GoHoyas Great school.
I think there were some moviesthat were filmed out there as
well.
I think the real world DC wasactually being filmed while I
was in Georgetown.
So we were literally saw a vanwith people and cameras
following some other people downthe street and started

(17:29):
following them.
So it was pretty interesting.
Let me see what else.
Dc program in Georgetown.
Funny story there I got askedto stay after class because I
was a little too woke and askingtoo many questions.
That was challengingessentially the status quo
conversation that the teacherwanted to have.
So I felt good about that beingput out of a or asked to stay

(17:50):
after class at a university forchallenging the initial
assumptions of the instructor.
Fast forward again.
Some more came back to Chicago,stumbled upon a family and a
fiance.
Fiance didn't quite work out,but that was where my first son
was born, and his mother and Ihave a great relationship.
Now it's a 12 year old son.

(18:10):
His name is mason, ironicallyenough, and he is the again the,
the, the next generation offlowers men.
So I'm amazingly proud of him.
Also.
You asked a question before wegot started, one of one of the
things you're most proud of inlife, and that's absolutely my
son.
And I have two daughters also.
We'll talk about them in just asec.
But my son is 12 years old,he's in a gifted school, tested

(18:33):
into it, and he's doingphenomenally.
I'm just amazingly proud ofthis gentleman.
He's been doing affirmations youknow, mildly for us since he
was about three or four.
But the funny thing is theaffirmations that we have and
that he's been saying since,like I said, three or four years
old I'm a leader, strong,respectful, smart, amazing and
happy.
So I asked him who are you?

(18:53):
So I said Mace, who are you?
He said what are you?
So I'm a leader, strong,respectful, smart, amazing,
happy.
I said and what can are youthankful for?
You know, he gives me a thingthat he's thankful for, so on
and so forth.
But the funny thing is I seethose things, those attributes,
showing up in his day-to-daylife.
So it's not just the fact thatit's rote memorization for him

(19:16):
to a degree.
We never wrote it down and itwas something that we would say
on a regular basis and add to it, but I see him being those
things, but I see him beingthose things.
And now I got married in 2022,had a first daughter in 2023,
second daughter, 2024, with ouroldest daughter.
I've started affirmations withher.

(19:36):
So we're doing one, one at atime, two at a time, and then
we'll build on those.
So I put them with, like somephysical things.
We see, I am strong, I am smart, I am beautiful, I am smart, I
am beautiful, I am kind, so thatshe can start that growth
herself internally and have thebelief that she is exactly what
she says.
She is not what anyone elsesays that she is.

(19:58):
So brings us to today, our kindof so that kind of transitioned
into family, back on aprofessional side, started in
legal insurance, moved to lifeinsurance, found my claim to
fame in health insurance about adecade ago, in 2014, 2015,
where I was working corporatelyin individual health insurance
sales, realized that legal,moral and ethical should be a

(20:20):
part of every transaction, notjust.
You know some of them andthough I'd risen through the
ranks really quickly as a topagent, top manager, top broker,
I was actually the top trainerfor the company and I'm not just
one of those guys that justsays it right.
I've got a website, paulhealth.
I've got a web folder so youcan actually go and see the
stuff that I did.
A lot of people say, oh, I wasthe best at this and uh-huh,

(20:45):
that's all there but the um, uhroasted ranks in the company.
But I realized legal, moral andethical weren't at the core for
what I was being asked to doand how I was being asked to
train.
So I hung my own flag ofsuperior insurance advisors in
november of 2017, officiallyincorporated in 2018.
And the rest, as I say, ishistory.
Fast forward a little bit more.
Got into some consulting andthen partnered with a big box

(21:08):
brokerage in the employeebenefit space because I thought
I needed a big name behind me inorder to do well in this
industry.
And it turns out sometimes thebigger they are, the less they
lack that legal, moral andethical piece.
Of course, what they're goingto be doing is legal, because
they don't want to get sued,Right, but the moral and ethical
parts are the very, very graylines, and when I say gray and I

(21:32):
mean the grayest of the gray,the thinnest of the thin.
So more on that to come.
Left corporate America again in2024, 2023.
I did a contract in 2024.
And when I realized thatsometimes it's not meant to work

(21:55):
quote unquote, under the ruleof other people, I said you know
what?
Everything that I'm doing hereI can do a lot more efficiently
and a lot more effectively on myown and begin to build around
that.
So I am a partner with NextGen,mastermind and Superior
Insurance Advisors is now aconsulting practice for employee
benefits.
We focus on companies that areover 50, primarily hospitals and

(22:18):
municipalities are kind of theniche that we work in.
But we work with any employer,really of any size, to help them
actually understand thecoverages that they have from a
health insurance standpoint andrealize that there are other
options aside from the ones thatmarket the most, that tend to
have lower quality outcomes froma health standpoint but also
have a very, very high up intothe right stock market symbol,

(22:43):
which that's again, more on thatto come.
So, just to wrap up my story,I'd recently gotten the blessing
of a hospitality in Indiana, aswell as a hospital in Southern
Indiana and we're showing themmillions, millions of dollars
that they're able to save ontheir health plan, where their

(23:05):
former or the incumbent brokerssimply didn't show them these
things, and the short version ofwhy that happens is because
there's money involved.
So there's that.
Now to the most recent thing andthat's this fun little symbol
that's behind me.
Now, like I shared, I'm in at-shirt.
I'm usually in a collared shirt.
Those that have seen me on apodcast, the Pulp Replace

(23:27):
podcast show, shameless plugAgain, it's also at the website
down here I'm using a collaredshirt, right.
So this is really odd for mebecause I'm on the road.
I've gotten involved with thisbusiness because of my in-laws.
They shared something with methat, again, we tend to miss and
I didn't know that people wereout here making $800,000,

(23:48):
$900,000 a day driving their ownvehicles, riding around calling
out stuff on the CB radio.
I said, wait a second, theyhave a load going from where to
where for how much?
We're talking something that'llgo from Chicago, illinois, for

(24:11):
instance, to Carbondale, right,a five hour drive and, depending
on the position of your vehicle, you make anywhere from $450 to
take that drive to eight andeven $900 to take that drive.
I said, wait what?
I went to school for all theseyears.
I got these degrees.
I got a master's degree lateron from Oklahoma State
University and you tell mepeople out here are making two,

(24:34):
three, four $5,000 a weekdriving their car, not like Uber
, lyft right, this is next, next, next level.
This is next, next, next level.
It requires a little bit ofinvestment, a little bit of
startup capital, but it wasreally easy to start and when I
found out about this industry,I'm like, yeah, I need to show

(24:54):
other people this.
So this is a little symbolbehind me that actually the DBA
we're operating under right now,which is Load Guard Alliance,
and the goal is to have thesepilot and escort vehicles in
every state, as well as have atraining academy to work
alongside workforce developmentagencies where we can actually

(25:16):
get grant funding et cetera.
But the main thing being ableto educate people A that this
exists, b how to get started.
C put them through the actualtraining which I'm working on a
certification to be a trainerfor the pilot escort vehicle
operator certification, becauseyou do technically have to have
a certification to do this work.
So that's the long, shortversion of the story.
I know there's a lot to unpack.
Again, my podcast is up for acouple of awards.

(25:38):
I've written, authored threebooks that have hit number one
on Amazon bestseller list, allaround the healthcare space, and
I've got a fourth that I'veonly spoken about on one podcast
and I actually had to push backthe release date, but that will
be out this year.
I'm going to be able to buildlike the other courses and
things around that and again,all that stuff is at the link
below wwwpaulhealth.

(25:59):
So Paul's time out.
Dr B, I gave you a lot, let'stalk about it.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh my gosh, yes, oh, it is so, so refreshing to have
you know, people who can saythis is what I've done and it's
not, you know, trying tosugarcoat or make it blow up or

(26:25):
just, hey, I got out there, Iworked and I can blow up.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm not sure if you can hear me have a little bit of
audio.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, I hear you a lot.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Well, you can hear me , yes but I can't hear you as
well as I did before.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
You did.
Let me make sure, because Iwant to.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah, I want to make sure that here, let's do this.
Let's see my volume is up.
Okay, Testing my mic is on.
I'm on the stage.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
All right.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
Let me change my speakers.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
All right, can you hear me, hear me, hear me.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
The laptop directly testing testing.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
I can hear you really good.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
No, not yet.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
You can't hear me.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
I'll put everything in my book here testing, testing
.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
One, two on my side.
You can still hear me, but Ican't hear you.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Okay, I'm wondering if it's because it's going live
to Facebook.
Let's get rid of that Love youguys on Facebook, and if it'll
help, we'll come back later.
Yeah, exactly, let me.
Let's see Posted creative.
We don't want to delete it onFacebook, we just want to come
off the stream Testing one, two,can you hear me?

(27:47):
I can't change it either.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
I'm not sure what.
Let's see.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
This is strange.
You can see me, you can hear me, I can see you perfectly fine,
I'm just not hearing clearly.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
I'll change my microphone and see.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
Technology is always the bane of our existence.
We love it because of all thethings that it does, but then,
at the same time, it'll have amoment where it's just like,
yeah, through no fault of ourown, yes, testing one, two.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
I switched microphones.
Did that make me go?

Speaker 2 (28:31):
up at all.
Let's see I might have to popit in the chat.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Microphone one two, one, two.
Hello, hello, all right, let'stry this again here.
Microphone 1212.
Hello, hello, all right, let'stry this again here.
Microphone 1212.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
I know that we're still live hanging out.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, so let me go in my chat.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Might have to have a voice chat.
I'll tell you what.
Maybe, if I leave the studioand then come back in, that may
help.
If you stick around, let's seeif it makes a difference.
Hang on.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
All right in that may help if you stick around.
Let's see if it makes adifference.
Hang on, all right.
Testing one, two, one, twotesting.
Sorry about that.
If you guys are on and watchingthis live and seeing the
technical side of it, I can comeoff of the.

(29:35):
Okay, let's add you back here.
Can you hear me now?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
I can hear you perfectly clear, no issues at
all, and you just couldn't hearme.
So I'm glad we we fixed thatand brought it back to to town
so and your whole story camesuper, super clear.
So we'll edit out what we gotto edit out and when we do the,
the, the programmed, therecorded version of it, yeah, so

(30:15):
what I was saying is there's somuch to unpack in your story,
there's so many ideas, and it'sso refreshing to have somebody
who just says this is what I did, shows that he did it and it's
not like I had to do somethingthat isn't something everybody

(30:35):
else can do, like this specialthing that I had to go through
life.
You did a lot of what we talkabout in the American dream,
which is go to school, get aneducation and sometimes you'll
get a bigger job and happy.
I think the difference in what alot of us and what you did, and
maybe what I did and whatothers are doing, is we didn't
rely on the system to allow usto be successful, and I think

(31:00):
that's where sometimes it gets,whether it's our parents or our
grandparents that just believeif you just do the things that
they're telling you to do,everything's going to be all
right.
And we said, well, wait a minute, I don't know if everything's
going to be all right if I don'tgo out there and I start
working on me.
And so what I'd love to talkabout here a little bit is, you

(31:21):
know, you kind of talked aboutgetting the love of reading and
you started talking about maybesome of the books that you read
as you started working on you,through whether it was a direct
sales company.
I was in Amway at one point andthen I went to World Financer
Group and then I was in, youknow.
So I did the same type of thingwhere I grew, because of my
associations, the people aroundme and my attitude.

(31:44):
I think those three things werehuge for me.
So maybe you can kind of talkabout, you know, when you
decided to get into personaldevelopment, what a difference
it made, and then maybe aboutsome of your associations that
might have changed your identitya little bit.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Gotcha, gotcha, and now that I'm not on the AirPods,
can you still hear me clearly?
Yep, absolutely so.
A funny story.
There was a gentleman by thename of John Malott and John
Malott was in the company that'sprepaid, legal and John Malott
was a janitor.
Now, he didn't look like me buthe was a janitor and I thought

(32:20):
that was funny because at thetime I was working as a janitor
in school and he went fromjanitor to quarter million.
I was a janitor looking for mynext 10 cent raise in this
company and I just gottenstarted.
I'm talking to somebody aboutit on the phone one day and this

(32:41):
guy and it's funny, I can'tremember his name, but his
impact was so, so just presentfor me.
Right now I'm talking tosomebody about again the
opportunity or the membership,one of the two and he's standing
outside of the office that I'mcleaning up.
Well, he's a floater, so he'snot usually there, meaning we
didn't have that tight bond likemyself and the other gentlemen
who were there on a daily basis.

(33:02):
He came every so often anddidn't seem like he really did
work because, well, he's sittingoutside on the couch while I'm
in the office cleaning.
He's listening.
I didn't know he was listening,but he's listening to the
conversation I'm having.
And then he says, once Ifinished, he said hey, man, was
that a business conversation youwere having?
I said, yeah.

(33:23):
He said dude, if I was on theother side of that I wouldn't
have bought anything from you.
You sounded bad, oh my God.
And you know, my South Side ofChicago came back like who the
hell are you talking to?
You don't know me, but I didn'tlet it out, right, it was there
, but I I didn't let it out,right, it was there, but I toned
it down and I just looked athim for a second and said what

(33:44):
do you mean?
You know cause I learned to notreact but to respond, and
oftentimes if you ask a question, it broadens your horizons to a
degree like when you can getsome intelligent feedback.
And he said well, you knowyou're real choppy and you had a
lot of ahs and ums and it justdidn't sound like you're really
confident in what you weresaying.
I was like, hmm, ok, and thenwent back to work Right Now.

(34:09):
What he didn't know was abouttwo weeks before that I went to
something called group school,which is what you go through to
be certified to offer thisprogram on an employer basis, as
an employee benefit an employerbasis as an employee benefit.
And in that group school they'dsaid if you have issues with
how you speak in front of peopleor how you present yourself in
public, then you might want tocheck out this group called

(34:29):
Toastmasters.
Somebody had given me a card.
I kept it in my wallet.
So after that lovely commentaryfrom my floater friend, I go
home, I grab that Toastmasterscard out my little card case,
mad looking at the car, likewhat is this Typing in the
website, toastmasters, or typingin?
And it was one meeting, onemeeting within, I'd say, like a

(34:52):
40 mile radius, southernIllinois, and that meeting met
every Wednesday.
Well, I think this happened ona Thursday, so I missed the
meeting that week.
But I called the number, gotsome information.
I'm like I'll see you nextWednesday.
From that next Wednesday, forthe next three years, I was at a

(35:13):
Toastmasters meeting every weekfor the next three years and I
may have missed five meetingsduring that entire time for the
next three years and I may havemissed five meetings during that
entire time.
That is what I always will payhomage to.
As to the quality of my speechtoday, I don't just talk, I
speak is what I like to say.
Now, my mother always impressedupon us that you need to speak

(35:35):
the King's English.
So, excuse me, from agrammatical standpoint, we'd
always use correct English,correct grammar, and there were
just some hiccups in how it waspresented.
Toastmasters really helped tosharpen that and it was about
$100 a year, right?
So people think that it takes awhole lot and I've taken speech

(35:55):
communication classes inuniversity Definitely different.
The consistent practice andleadership and speaking and
having that feedback from peoplewho actually want to help you
get better and who may have hadsome training on how to help you
get better as it's a part of aleadership track that's within
the Toastmasters program, wasamazingly helpful for me in my
20s.

(36:15):
So it was also really helpfulthat I was literally the only
minority in the group, so I'mthe youngest, I'm the darkest
and I'm definitely not fromSouthern Illinois, so that
allowed me to stretch my comfortzone as well and be around
people that were not like myself.
And I've actually deviated sofar from the question that you

(36:38):
asked, dr B, that I'm havingtrouble remembering the question
.
We were talking about learning.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
First, I was just talking about personal
development.
Yeah, and to create that whichis you're right on topic.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Okay, okay, perfect, perfect.
So that was a huge part of thatdevelopment where I not only
was already starting to readmore you know, napoleon Hill,
dale Carnegie, dr Norman VincentPeale or some of the authors
that I would read RobertKiyosaki and let's go, robert
Greene like, goes on and on.
I'm reading all this stuff andnow I'm beginning to speak like

(37:14):
that Because what you put incomes out.
So garbage in, garbage out is aphrase that I like to use.
Geico is a computer term.
Greatness in garbage out is aphrase that I like to use.
Geico is a computer term.
Greatness in greatness out aswell.
And it's not always only thegreatness that someone else puts
into you, but as adults, wehave to put that greatness into
ourselves.
So, again, there were somequestions that you'd share prior

(37:36):
to the show, and I think whatI'll ultimately end up leaning
towards is that there needs tobe some sort of internal drive
to deliver yourself fromwhatever situation you're in,
and that's going to take puttingdifferent things inside of you
that weren't there before, andthen repeating those things and

(37:56):
making sure that that's what'son your mind when you wake up,
not the first thing you scrollon or click on, or somebody
calls you and puts that messinside your space.
So that personal developmentwas huge because I'd begun to
again read, speak.
Like you said, the associationswere different and I stopped
watching the news.
That was what I had when I wasgrowing up with my grandmother

(38:19):
and mother.
They watched the news and wemother, they watched the news
and we would sit and watch thenews.
Now I watched Jeopardy, which Ireally enjoy, with one of my
grandmothers.
Again, they both since passed,but they would watch the news
and we would see the news andhear the news and didn't really
care about the news but bearound the news.
And I realized as I got olderI'll never forget I think I was
in Dallas, no, no, it was inOklahoma and I was at a

(38:42):
convention and I woke up.
I think it was 530.
I woke up, I went to go getbreakfast down the hall and from
maybe 6 o'clock to no, itwasn't even 6 o'clock, it was
about 630 until about 7 o'clockI had heard about three deaths,
murders, shootings.

(39:04):
Right Before I even finished myCheerios I'd heard about the
fires that had taken place, theaccidents that had taken place
and the bad weather that wascoming.
I'm like, oh man, like peoplewake up to this, because now I'm
looking at it objectively butalso from a critical perspective
that says what you put in isultimately what shapes your day.

(39:27):
And now I'm realizing thatfirst thing in the morning
people are getting up looking athow bad traffic is so they can
complain about it, how badweather is, how bad the economy
is, how bad people are out inthe streets hurting and raping
and looting and pillaging, right, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Well, if you start off your daywith so much negativity, what do

(39:49):
you think the day is going tolook like?
Right?
So that personal developmentfor me, dr B, was life changing,
was game changing.
To be was life-changing, wasgame-changing.
And again, I owe a lot of thatto being inside that company
where I saw examples of successand I said that too can be me.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
There's so much in there that I want to kind of
unpack and talk about, becausewhen I think of things like the
news and the things that go out,and the news that you and I
grew up with I think I'm alittle bit older than you is way
even as bad as it was then isso different than what people
are being fed today.
Because people are being fed analgorithm about who they are

(40:38):
and just gives more of what isnegative for them to have them,
you know, continue to watch itand be, you know, mesmerized by
it, sucked in.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
We're on the same wavelength.
I knew exactly where you weregoing with that one, yep.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Yeah, but then when I think of, like you know, the
personal development and thethings that we try to grow up
and do and and making sure thatwe're finding ways that we can
feed great things into our mindsand, like you said, garbage in,
garbage out and the things thatwe do just seems so important

(41:14):
that we don't spend all of ourtime doing some of those other
things.
And now, when you start, I kindof lost my.
And now when you start, I kindof lost my where we start going
okay, so now I've read thesebooks and now I'm going.
Okay, how does that apply to mein my life right now?

(41:36):
Because I don't.
I may not have the rightassociations or the right people
or be in the right rooms or theright groups to be able to now
take advantage.
And sometimes we get stuck,especially as Black men, with
this belief system because wedon't know our history very well
.
You know, when I took 18 men toBirmingham in the end of

(41:59):
January, a couple were even myown sons, because I didn't grow
up in the South, I grew up herein Denver, colorado, right, and
so I didn't understand ourhistory, but yet I was affected
by it because I understood whatI was told you know, and not
even what my own family told me.
And so, by not knowing thehistory of some of the things
we're doing and then being fedall these things now I'm reading

(42:22):
these things that says I can doanything, I'm the strong person
you know the affirmations likeyou give your kids.
That wasn't given to me and nowwe go.
Okay, I guess I just have tocomplain.
So, for you, in that identityand as you move forward, how did
you now take that informationthat you're giving, or who were
you starting to listen to?
We turned off the news.
Sometimes I think about ourbarbershops right, where it's we

(42:49):
go, whatever we talk about that, the greatest athlete that's
out there, and we know moreabout Michael Jordan, and we
know more about LeBron James andwe know more about you know
Patrick Holmes, or whatever.
Then we know about our ownkids' life and somehow we feel
like we're on teams that we'rereally not on.
We don't play on the team,they're not paying us, they talk

(43:11):
to us, right.
So how did you pull yourselfout of that and then be able to
do the amazing things thatyou're doing now?

Speaker 2 (43:26):
able to do the amazing things that you're doing
now.
Again, I am an example ofwhat's possible when you remain
open to possibilities and takeaction on advice from people who
are more successful in areasthat you'd wish to grow.
So that's my disclaimer theactions that I've taken, the
actions that I've taken one wascoming into Toastmasters.
Another was a course that andthis is me having gone through

(43:53):
dozens and dozens, if nothundreds of books at this time
audio books, courses, et cetera,and having an epiphany, if you
will, and then I'll give you astory.
I know exactly where I was whenit happened.
I was working at CogentCommunications.
I was working inbusiness-to-business internet
sales for like the big boyinternet right Gigs and 10 gigs
and data centers and all that.
And I'm searching on the mapfor a place that I can go and

(44:13):
prospect and one building on themap had this little word on
there.
It was so tiny, it was odd thatit even popped out to me the
way that it did, but I'll tellyou why it did.
It said landmark education.
And I'm like, wait a second,like all this stuff, just come
back to me and said somebodytold me about landmark and they
made a reference to how ithelped them to be the person

(44:35):
that they are.
The gentleman's name was RayHigdon.
He was in a different directsales company, but I would
listen to some of hisconversation and he mentioned it

(44:58):
whenever ago and when I saw itthat day, probably some years
later, it like a preview to thecourse and see if you want to
invest in order to actually takethe course, did that special
evening and I'm like, yep, I'msigning up.
I'm looking at thetransformations that people were
having, that were sharing theirstories, et cetera, and I saw
it as something again that I canhave for myself.

(45:18):
Well, sure enough, they boast a92, 94% of the people that
actually complete the landmarkforum say that it has had a
lasting impact in their livesand relationships.
Yeah, I'm definitely one ofthose, right, because it
absolutely did.
And the way that they go aboutit is it's basically one big

(45:40):
conversation that you're having.
Now.
You're having this conversationin a room full of others mine
was physical, they do virtualnow and that conversation is so
impactful that it allows you totake the junk.
That, effectively, is what wethink is our past.
But if you don't put your pastin your past, your past is in

(46:03):
your present, and whatever is inyour present is ultimately
creating your future.
Yes, I didn't get that.
I thought that the stories thatI told myself and kept
repeating were yeah, I'm justrepeating conversations about
stuff that happened, but I wascreating a future that,
ultimately, when I was sayingcertain things I didn't actually
want to take place in my life,I was doing that.

(46:27):
Nobody was making me do it,nobody was forcing me, nobody
was.
It had nothing to do withanyone else, it was me and when
I realized that I was at theepicenter of this either amazing
life that I have or thisconsistently being criticized
and condemned life that I havethat I was at the center of it

(46:49):
and I was at the cause of it andthat I can actually do
something to make a difference,oh, I did that and I give a lot
of credit to again that course,because a lot of that
transformation came as a resultof those three days in the
evening.
Now, again, I don't get anykudos or toasters or you know,
free passes from Toastmastersfrom talking about them.

(47:10):
I don't get any kudos orToastmasters or kitchen sinks or
like free passes from Landmarkwhen I talk about them.
I just share the things thatwere very helpful and impactful
to me and in terms of being ableto sit with here, sit here with
you today and connect with you.
Today, you know a brother tobrother, man to man and feel
perfectly fine.
Right, with opening up,shooting and being vulnerable

(47:33):
and having hard conversationsabout things that matter.
Right, not just for myself butfor others.
And again, I may have deviatedfrom the question, right?

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Not just for myself, but for others and again I may
have deviated from the question,no-transcript and then, like

(48:09):
you said, it becomes our future,because it becomes the excuse,
the outside condition that wenow use as why we're not able to
be there and those people stoodin our place so that we don't
have to repeat the past.
And one of the things that Ithink is another thing because
you've talked about Toastmastersa lot and I think about

(48:29):
communication, and one of thethings that I've been and you do
this, and so I wanted you totalk about a little bit is I
believe that podcasting is oneof the number one ways that we
can take ourselves and becomeeffective communicators.
And when I think about, likeyou know, I was telling the
person I talked to earlier today, I said you know, nine out of

(48:50):
90 percent of people who start apodcast never even do 10
episodes.
And that's that's around ofeverybody, the 400 million
people who have done podcasts.
That's a round of everybody,the 400 million people who've
done podcasts.
When we think about ourcommunity, that's even higher.
And then you think of out ofthat, have you ever done
anything 10 times and been goodat it?

(49:11):
And somehow we think we dothree episodes and we're
supposed to be this fantastic,incredible communicator, but
kind of, what you were able todo at Toastmasters is not only
did you learn how to speak, butyou learned how to listen.
Not only did you learn how tolisten, you learned how to ask
good questions.
You learned how to hear goodquestions.

(49:33):
You learned how to communicateeffectively, because there's a
lot of intelligent folks thatcan use vocabulary that nobody
else can understand, and you canand you can sound super smart,
but if you're not, actually youknow, I guess the biggest
mistake in communication isbelieving that it happened.
You know that you and Iactually.

(49:55):
You know, at the end, well, Idid good, I did this great
speech.
Nobody had understood a wordthat I said, and so you do
podcasting.
And when I for almost everybodythat I talked to, they said if
you want to get good at sales,if you want to get good at
talking to people, you want tobe good a teacher, if you want
to be good at whatever it isthat you do, what if you started

(50:17):
a podcast with about somethingthat you know that you're
competent in and just talk aboutit until you get really good at
it?
And so I mean, as you've done apodcast and you've done it and
you've done Toastmasters and youknow I was a communication
major and you know I've everfound a median that has been

(50:40):
able to help others in a quickeramount of time if they're
willing to take on a thing likepodcasting.
There's a whole bunch oforganizational other things that
you have to be able to do toget you know, to help people to
do it Right.
What have you learned throughthe?
You know I brought it herebecause we've been talking about
it, so in that, space.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
So in the podcasting space, one of the things that I
realized is that self-doubt willtake you out.
I love it.
Self-doubt will take you outand I'll tell you my story.
I don't.
I'm not in my office right.
As I shared, I'm in Jonesboro,arkansas Now, but in my office
there is a little sticky note,little memo pad, and I had that

(51:23):
little pad for probably over ayear and it was just one little
note and it had podcasting onthere and it had these sites and
things that I was going tocheck out and an idea for the
name of it all on a littlesticky pad.
Post-it note that's the wordI'm looking for.
And it took until I hit 40 andwent through an awakening in my

(51:46):
own right that you know, myfather died when he was 40.
So right now I'm standing inshoes that he never saw and, as
a father of a son and twodaughters also, I'm in a place
where I have an impact and alegacy that I'm responsible for
creating and flourishing.

(52:08):
Right Gardening, if you will,as the flower, I like to play on
my last name gardening andgrowing into future generations.
And in order to do that,because something can happen and
to get a moment's notice.
It's nice to have somethingthat they can look back and see.
That's more than just a pictureof dad.
I don't have the videos of myfather saying nice and wonderful

(52:34):
things to me.
I don't have those memories.
And even if he said them, hesaid them to someone else.
Or if he said them to me, it'ssomebody else telling me that he
said those things or was thisway.
It's not videos or recordingsof me seeing him do that thing.
So if something were to happento me and it's actually
something I should probably dois have something that I'm

(52:56):
saying to my children that inthe world of YouTube and
Facebook and social media, thisstuff is going to be around
forever and to a degree it canbe downloaded and saved and
transferred and blah, blah, blah.
It's important to have a recordof success is the way that I'll

(53:16):
put that.
You know so off the family side, right, legacy, but more so
like the record of your ownsuccess.
And the success doesn't comewith waiting.
The success comes with doingthe thing messing up, figuring
out why you messed up and howyou messed up, and then going
back and doing it again.
So now to the podcasting piece.

(53:38):
Self-doubt Will Take you Out.
I sat and I said you know whatI'm going to do this podcast.
So I took my phone and I set itup on a little tripod, right,
and I pressed record, set theroom up, just right.
It was in a library, a littlesound booth, and I finally

(53:59):
recorded that first episode.
And then I told myself I wasn'tgoing to put it out because
somebody else told me that youneeded to have at least three to
five episodes to launch yourpodcast effectively.
So I had to battle with myselfand that little voice just kept
saying do it now, do it now.

(54:19):
Often I wear a watch.
I just took it off, but mywatch says now, I love it.
So, as a side note, peoplewould see me wearing two watches
.
At times I'm like, dude, whyare you wearing two watches?
And I said, well, one is sothat I can tell the time right.
That's the one that says ticktock, tick tock.
And then the other one is sothat I always know what time it
is.
It's time to do it now, always,now.

(54:41):
We live in the present, so it'sonly always now.
I digress.
So that first episode, I wasgoing to wait until I had three
or four more episode.
I was going to wait until I hadthree or four more and then
something said no, just put itout there, because if you don't
you won't have a podcast.
So I put it out there.
This was April 15th roughly ofthis year.

(55:06):
I want April 15th, 20th,something like that, the first
the middle of April, and to dateI have three seasons completed.
The third one I'm admittedlylate on putting out there, just
being transparent, but it's 13episodes that are up on the
audio.
I didn't put them up on videoand I like to release them both

(55:26):
at the same time, so I've got togo and put all my show notes
and stuff in there.
So for whoever is in seasonthree that sees this, my bad,
but I've already recorded anepisode for season five with the
host of Podmatch as the keyepisode to kick that off.
And then season four you knowAlex right and then season four

(55:50):
is going to be a season that isgoing to be a solo season.
So once I get three out, I'llstart recording four, which it
may not be a whole 10 or 12episodes, probably more like
five or six, but those episodeswill be on things that are
really important to me that Iwant to make sure that I share

(56:11):
uninterrupted, uninhibited,without, is a little different,
because I came from a personaldevelopment and Toastmaster
space, but that doesn't meanthat a person needs to go
through all of that in order tostart a podcast.
Phone subscription toBuzzsprout and I think literally

(56:33):
, that's it right A phone and afree subscription to Buzzsprout
and you can be up and live.
Youtube is free, right, so youcan be up and live, literally
put your podcast out there and,like you said, the key is
consistency Do more than threeepisodes, more than 10.
I think I've got, with theseason that will come out,
somewhere close to 40 under mybelt just in the last few months
.
But what happened in the lastfew months was so many

(56:53):
connections that I made and somany podcasts that I've now been
invited on to.
I actually just went andactually met a gentleman who I
was on his podcast when I was inBeloit, wisconsin, and,
ironically enough, two weekslater, because of this
transportation company, I'm backin Beloit, gave him a call.

(57:14):
He's like yeah, come by theoffice, we dropped the load, I
go to the office, we have agreat time.
For a couple hours.
He gave me a book, took somepictures and it was just a very
surreal experience because it'snot often that you meet people
that you podcast with,especially through these virtual
platforms.
So the quality of my questions,I'll say, has gotten better over

(57:36):
time and the quality of theconversations on the podcast
have gotten better over time,and that's because I decided
that I was going to continue todo podcasts over time, like
right now again, I'm traveling,I'm on a podcast.
Sometimes I've had to change myschedule because of this new
endeavor to where my recordingsfor my show are only at like

(57:58):
three or four in the morning andif a person's willing to record
at three or four in the morning, I'm with you three or four in
the morning and that's just whattime you have to record,
because if I'm on the road andI'll get off the road, then I'll
have that time where it'suninterrupted whether I'm at
home or on the road at three orfour in the morning.
So I've had to make somechanges, some adapt adaptations

(58:19):
to things that are growing in mylife and it's still been a fun
journey that I wouldn't havetraded for anything else.
So that sum this all up.
It doesn't matter where you arein your development journey in
your life journey.
Sorry, there's a fly thatliterally heard something
randomly buzzing and I probablyshouldn't do this live on camera

(58:41):
, but yet you know some things,because he'll be in the room
with me all night and then I gotto do it.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Oh, you got to take that fly out now.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Oh he's done.
Oh my gosh, it's one of thosethings where we don't have to
make.
Yeah, it's some live thingsthat go on on my podcast.
I did one from a lounge and adeer because I sat outside to do
it.
A deer walked by while we wererecording the show and I think

(59:13):
this is going to come out inOctober and the host he was like
can we see it?
I said sure.
I've turned the light off and Ipoint to the deer and he starts
walking while we're recordingand he's like I've never had A.
The theme of his show wasstories horror stories from

(59:35):
previous clients, and he saidthat he wants the show to feel
like we're two friends at a barhaving a drink.
So I dropped the load.
I went to the Churchill Lounge,got a drink and we were two
friends at a bar having a drink.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
With the deer.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
And the deer right.
So it was literally thatfeeling that was created and,
again, it's just so amazing tohave these relationships to be
able to be created through thesevirtual mediums.
You know Zoom.
You can have a free accountthat records up to 40 minutes,
so now you've got your video andyour audio all done at once.
So those that are out therethat are thinking about a

(01:00:21):
podcast yes, you'll be one ofmillions.
So what?
You're one of billions ofpeople and you can still do
something.
You know to make a differencein this world.
Look at the people that make adifference in this world, in
this world, Look at the peoplethat make a difference in this
world.
They're just people, too, andyou can start that today.
So through this journey again,quality of conversation has
increased, questions have gottenbetter and I've had some really
cool relationships come as aprocess, a part of this process,

(01:00:44):
oh, my gosh when I thinkthrough some of the things you
know, as I started, you know,and people, the excuses they
give.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
They have this great idea, you know, like yourself,
and they write something on a,on a post-it note or a sticky
note that says they're going tostart it.
And then you said, you know,when in doubt it'll take you out
.
You know a self-doubt will takeyou out and I think like, well,
I'm not going to make any moneyat it.
Well, you are.

(01:01:14):
You're just thinking aboutmoney differently.
You know I I did one called themile high real estate spotlight
podcast, when I, you know Istill do mortgages, but when I
was heavily into the mortgageindustry and all I did was call
up real estate agents and sayI'd love to highlight you on my
podcast.
You know, and let you talkabout yourself on my podcast.
I will ask you four questions.
It'll take 20 minutes and Iwill just ask you who you are,

(01:01:36):
what makes you a great realestate agent, what do you do
differently and how can peopleget ahold of you?
I did that In six months.
I had 75 episodes because everyreal estate agent that I called
wanted to be on the podcast.
I could care less if I had anysubscribers.
They didn't even know if Ineeded subscribers because they
weren't trying to get mysubscribers.
They were trying to take thefootage from the podcast that I

(01:01:59):
created and put it on theirsocial media so other people
could hear me telling them howgreat they are and me asking
them a question about how greatthey are right, and they can
answer it without having to geton by themselves and say I'm
great, right.
I had somebody else ask me aquestion.
I will say today that's almostthree years ago that I did that.

(01:02:21):
I still get loans from those 75podcasts that I did from those
agents, right?
So I monetized the podcast andit made thousands and thousands
of dollars without anysubscribers that need to be on
that podcast because it wasn'tfor that.
And so there's just this suchof a belief that if I get on and

(01:02:44):
I start talking, somehow I'mgoing to be bad.
And absolutely you will be,because you know how to do it
and if you've had some formaltraining you're going to be
better at it.
But you haven't been doing thismedium, you don't even have to
do it where you're interviewingpeople, but it's just getting
started at something that hasthe ability to spring you
forward and, I would say, fornetworking, like I have.

(01:03:06):
You see, we'rebecomingthepersoncom is here.
I've started a community thatwill launch on September 1st I
don't know when you guys arewatching this, it might already
be launched where I'm taking all400 of the folks that I've now
done podcasts with and I'msaying I've learned so much.
It's been incredible networking.
I don't know how to share it allwith you without letting you be
part of a community, like I'mthinking Paul, I want Paul to be

(01:03:34):
on and I'm going to convincehim somehow some way to talk
about his business in ourcommunity.
Because if somebody can come inthe community and say, hey, I
don't know what I'm doing, Idon't know how to do it, I don't
even know if this would besomething for me and he does a
half hour, 45 minute webinar andthey connect and now he has the
ability to teach them how to godo what he's doing and then
their life changes becausethey're part of a community and

(01:03:55):
I'm going to try to convince asmany people as I can.
Hey, go do a podcast about it,talk about it, you don't have to
do, I don't need you to do amillion episodes.
I don't need you to do a radioshow.
I don't need you to do a TVshow.
I don't need you to be famous,I need you fact that you said my
kids and my legacy, like youknow, 40, 50, 60, 70 years from

(01:04:17):
now, when you and I aren't here.
70 years from now, maybe we'llbe, but probably not, you know
70 years from now, 85, maybemaybe 90 years from now.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
science and technology are growing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Yeah, exactly, You're the health guy, but at the same
time, you know my greatgrandkids will know the essence
of who I was, because they'll beable to watch a thousand
episodes of if they want to orif they don't want to talking

(01:04:54):
and them not know who theirgrandfather, their great
grandfather, was and what hebelieved in and what his values
were and what those ethics wereand all those things that the
morals that you talked about,that you and I got to share
tonight and be able to do that.
So thank you, Thank you forsharing that, because, even if
that's not our intention in thispodcast is to convince you to
do a podcast, we want you to doa podcast.
Right, you wrote a book.

(01:05:18):
You know I know one of them'sthe hidden healthcare gold mine
and you know I want you to beable to talk about, you know
your books and get people tolisten to them.
This isn't our last conversation.
This is too good.
I know we're at our hour and alittle over an hour right now,
but and we had some technicaldifficulties but I kind of
wanted to give you theopportunity to talk about all
the things that people canconnect.

(01:05:38):
I know if they go to paulhealth.
They can find all your booksand stuff, but maybe give some
highlights of some of the thingsthat can help them in their
lives.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
Absolutely so the a couple of things.
If you are an employee, and ifyou are an employee of a company
that offers you health care inthe United States and that
health plan begins with a, b, a,U, a C or an A like, for
example, a Blue Cross, aUnitedHealthcare, a Cigna or an

(01:06:08):
Aetna you have a responsibilityas the steward of your own money
to investigate why theindividuals that are choosing
those plans chose those plansand what other options are
available to you and yourcolleagues at your company.
It's not solely theresponsibility of the C-suite,

(01:06:30):
though they do carry a fiduciaryresponsibility to make sure
that they're handling thedollars for their health plan,
specifically self-funded healthplans as best they can.
And it's also the employees thatneed to know, if their plans
begin with a, b, a, u, a, c oran A, that they're likely paying
anywhere between 15 to 30percent more for lower quality

(01:06:52):
health outcomes, and this is alldocumented by case study after
case study after case study.
So from that instance, I don'twant to go far into the books,
because the three books that areout are aimed more at the
employers to better understandit, and, as an employee, it
makes sense for you to alsounderstand that if you have a
B-U-C-A, a BUCA plan, that thereare other options out there

(01:07:15):
that can save you money, putmoney again back into your
household's family, your familybank, as well as create a better
health outcome when you do haveissues right.
It's one of those things whereyou know I have the philosophy
or mantra that I'd say I don'tlike to complain about things
unless I'm willing to changethem.
So I don't complain abouthealthcare without providing a

(01:07:37):
change.
I don't complain abouteducation without providing a
change, which my 20-year goal isto own my own school.
I'm halfway through, usinginsurance as a means to
financial freedom and retirement, of course, education and
empowerment as well, and thengoing on to open my own school.
So I don't complain aboutthings that I'm not willing to
change.
So for those of you out thereagain, don't complain about
things unless you're going to dosomething to change them, and I

(01:08:00):
think I'll leave it at that.
Again, I just want to berespectful of the time, so
please connect with me onLinkedIn.
Paul Howard Flowers Jr.
Paul H Flowers Jr is what youcan just type into Google,
basically, and everything comesup, whether it be a podcast,

(01:08:22):
amazon IMDb page, youtubechannel, whatever it's there,
and I'm very accessible.
I'm open to communicate, haveconversations and, overall, be a
steward and a person of serviceto those that are, again, open
to being served.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
I'd love the fact that you came on to talk to us
today, and several reasons in mymind of you know what you've
been able and bring to the tablewith me.
It's very clear that you're asuper intelligent man and you've
done a lot of things and workedon a lot of ways.
But you're real and sometimeswe don't get that right.

(01:08:57):
We get the polished.
You know I've been doing thisfor 20, 30, 40 years.
I possibly you know, when I'mlooking at it as an individual,
I possibly can't do what you didbecause you're so polished.
Or right now, where I'm at inmy own personal development
belief system is I don't believeI can do it, although I know I

(01:09:19):
can, because you look sopolished.
What you brought to us today ishey, these are four or five
things that I did.
All of you can go, do thoseexact same things, get the exact
same outcomes, and you can beas successful as you want to be.
And not once did you say Ineeded to go to school, get a
good education, so I could get agood job, so I could be happy.

(01:09:40):
What you said is I had thingsthat are happening in my life
and I saw an opportunity andinstead of waiting for that
opportunity to knock me on myhead, I went after it.
A gentleman came into my officeand he told me where I was
cleaning and he told me that Ididn't communicate well.

(01:10:01):
So you took advantage and saidwait a minute, I'm going to go
learn how to communicate well.
And you went and did it.
You said well, you know, whenyou went to the landmark
education thing, you said youknow my thoughts may be a little
bit jumbled up, so let me gofigure out how to put those
together.
You know I don't understand myposition in life.
So you know, I joined theMasons and then I got some

(01:10:22):
clarity there.
All of these things, folks, ifyou're watching this for the
first time, are things that youcan go.
Do it's as you see, things thatcome your way, because things
are going to come your way allthe time.
Take advantage of them.
There's an example.
I would even encourage you Ican probably promise you I guess
I could be wrong If you were togo to Paul's website and you

(01:10:43):
were to say you know, I needsome help, I'm lost, I don't
know where to go.
Can you maybe direct me in thedirection?
I don't think he's going tojust go.
You know, cut off, delete.
I don't have time for you.
He's going to do that, right,and so I would take advantage of
this.
This is your first podcast thatyou of these that you've
watched.
There's a whole bunch more thatyou can go watch with people

(01:11:04):
just like Paul, who are outthere who are doing things that
you know.
Once you do one thing, there's asnowball effect that happens,
and once you start improvingyourself he talked about
self-improvement, he talkedabout some of the books that
he's read.
He's talked about some of theassociations that he's run Once
you start doing, the snowballstarts happening.
And when that snowball ishappening, you see success,

(01:11:25):
opportunities come your way.
And once you've learned how totake advantage of an opportunity
like I need to speak betterthen when an opportunity says I
can go make a thousand dollars aday by driving a car boom, I
have the ability to takeadvantage of it.
If you don't understand it,also, if you want to, there's so
many things that you can dothat he's been able to do.
He's written four books, right?

(01:11:46):
You probably believe you'renever going to write a book,
right?
I've written.
I've written four books now,and I was a special ed kid that
told me that I was never goingto write anything right, but I
got around the rightassociations and the right
people, and so, again, thank youfor being on.
Do you have any one lastthoughts that you'd love to
share with everybody before wefinish today?

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
There's a quote that I enjoy so much in my office at
home and, for those of you whomay check out a podcast, a video
version on YouTube, you'll seeit on my bookshelf and it says
be the change you wish to see inthe world.
It's such an important quote tome.
Mahatma Gandhi or Mahandas,depending on who you look at

(01:12:28):
Gandhi is the one most noted forsharing that quote.
Gandhi is the one most notedfor sharing that quote, and it's
so notable to me that I have ittattooed on me also that when
something's that important right, you make a commitment and, yes
, tattoos can be removed, butthere is a permanence of a
tattoo, and I'm not just sayingthis to have everybody go out
and get tattoos of your favoritequotes.
What I'm saying is that whenyou have a decision to do a

(01:12:51):
thing, do what you need to do inorder to make it permanent.
If you have to put it onposters all around, if you have
to tattoo it on yourself, if youhave to put it on your screen
that you look at the most, youhave to reprogram you, because
if you don't, someone else isgoing to continue to put their
programs in you.

(01:13:12):
Wow, yes, they will Period.
So you make the choice oftaking control of your own life
and being able to reprogramyourself because, believe it or
not, you are the result ofsomebody's decisions and
programs that have been had andlaid out there for your life.
You can continue to live likethat and that's okay.
Many people will, and that'sfine.

(01:13:34):
And for those of you who are outthere that are saying there's
something more to my life thanwhat I'm doing, there's
something more to thisrelationship, there's something
more to my ability to parenteffectively, there's something
more out there for me, then youhave to be the person that is in
charge of identifying what thatis, finding the right

(01:13:55):
associations or avenues in orderto bring that out, and then
doing something over and overagain, right, consistently
throughout time, to see that you, that you know, is there.
And so with that, again, I'lljust share again my gratitude
once more for dr b you have meon the show and for your
audience for listening again,through the difficulties and

(01:14:16):
technologies and all that stuff,right, for those that are stuck
around, you're still here.
We have some comments in thechat for those able to see it on
facebook and other places thatyou're streaming it.
So again, I'm just grateful andreally appreciative to have had
this opportunity and Iappreciate you for allowing me
to continue to put this legacyout there for my children and

(01:14:36):
other family members and friends, colleagues, associates, what
have you to be able to learn?
Glean maybe just one thing fromin this time we spent together.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
Wow.
Well, thank you.
I love Be the Change.
It's one of my favorite quotesthat I have written, but I might
I'm thinking now I'm going toput self doubt will take you out
.
So thank you for that.
I mean like self doubt is goingto take you out.

(01:15:05):
So again, thank you for beingon.
You guys, go ahead and hitwhatever buttons that you have
to hit so you can be notifiedwhen these come out.
Please go ahead and hitsubscribe.
I'd love to have you guys onhere Go to becomingthepersoncom.
Sign up to be part of thecommunity that has the ability
to change your life.
You guys have an amazing,awesome, incredible day.

(01:15:25):
I believe you're God's greatestgift.
He loves you.
If you allow him to, I lookforward to talking to you guys
on the next one.
Have an amazing day.