April 25, 2025 • 33 mins
What happens when your doctor becomes your fiercest advocate — and ultimately, your friend?
In this episode, I sit down with my own OB/GYN, Dr. Kimberly Shepherd — a true BADASS woman who has single handily helped so many women like me along their infertility and pregnancy journeys.
I open up publicly about choosing egg donation — a topic that still feels taboo for so many. Dr. Shepherd and I get real about what it means to build a family outside the “traditional” mold, and why love — not biology — is what defines parenthood.
We cover everything from:
🧡 Egg donation, IVF, and surrogacy
🧡 Navigating infertility as a same-sex couple or single parent
🧡 Talking to your kids about how they came to be
🧡 And yes… we even get into the "juicy" OB/GYN questions no one wants to ask (but everyone needs answers to)
Whether you’re starting your own fertility journey, supporting someone who is, or just want to understand the many incredible ways families come to be — this episode is for you!
🎙️ Listen and share with someone who needs to hear:
#TheKeriCroftShow #InfertilitySeries #InfertilityAwarenessMonth #EggDonation #SurrogacyJourney #LGBTQFamily #ModernParenthood #DrKimberlyShepherd #FamilyIsLove #YouAreNotAlone #SayTheThing #1in6 #AssistedReproduction #IVFSupport
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Keri Croft Show and to the next
episode in our infertilityseries.
Today I'm bringing you aconversation that feels really
special.
I'm sitting down with my OBGYN,dr Shepard, the woman who's
been by my side through myentire infertility journey.
But here's the thing she's notjust my doctor, she's an
advocate in every sense of theword, and over the years she's
(00:22):
become a true friend of mine.
We've been through a lottogether and I couldn't have
asked for a better person towalk this road with.
If you've been following thisseries, you know it's all about
opening up the conversationaround infertility, because
sharing these stories it matters.
It helps people feel seen,heard and a little less alone.
If this resonates with you, orif you know someone who could
(00:45):
use this message, I'd love foryou to share it.
Rate the show, leave a review,send it to a friend.
All right, let's dive in.
Here's my conversation with theone and only Dr Shepard.
Facing challenges, conceivingExperience, compassionate care
from leading fertility expertsat Pinnacle Fertility Ohio, your
(01:18):
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Speaker 2 (02:13):
Don't say I've never done anything for you.
I watched uh gwyneth's todaylike her part of your episode
and I, um I started crying, likewhen she talked about um, that
she'd never have the ever get tofeel a child girl and she broke
down.
It made me cry.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I was like, oh, you that moment when I asked her
about the grief of not you know,and when she stopped, she
stopped for so long, like.
So I was like I wasn't sure,like in the editing process, the
only reason why I shortened it,cause I felt like I wanted to
keep it in, but I shortened itbecause, um, you couldn't really
see it on the audience, so weended up shortening it, but we
(02:43):
sat here in silence for probablyyou know, a good half a minute
and it was just like you know,you just felt it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
And God, she's so great, she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And she's so you know she really walks the walk.
You know, like she's gone aboveand beyond for so many patients
and shown up on weekends andthings that are not in her job
description just to help peoplecreate families.
Yeah, you know, and she does.
She's just she never says no,no, especially when it involves
fertility.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I love your shirt.
Thank you, and you're right,difficult roads can lead to
beautiful things.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, well, it's funny because when I saw it it
(03:43):
reminded me of like, like I'vealwayslance of understanding,
you know, and I always feel thatwith loss.
You know, like when people gothrough an early you know
pregnancy loss, I'm like whenyou're holding that next baby in
your arms and you know, had younot gone through this hardship,
you wouldn't have that miracle.
You know, it doesn't take thatloss away, it doesn't take that
(04:05):
grief away, but it helps maybegive some peace to it in a
certain way.
And I think we can apply thatto you know, I think I've
applied it personally to manythings in my own, you know, life
.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I sat down today and did my own like.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Carrie and I talked about for the first time, like
our choice to what we did withAngel and choosing to deliver
her the egg donor.
I've never I've not talkedabout any of this publicly ever,
you know, and so, um, peoplewho know in my life know I was
just very private about, as youknow, um, but there's no one
who's been through my wholestory except for Brady, other
(04:41):
than you.
I mean, you've been there foreverything you know and like the
, the idea of um, the pro-choiceangle.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
And so when you and I were sitting down to talk about
that and how important it isand I and I never had said
anything about my own personaljourney yet Um, but having the
ability, when you are faced withthat incredibly, are faced with
that incredibly, I mean I willnever forget being in that room.
(05:10):
My mom was there, Brady wasthere, I was wearing a pink tank
top and we were all just likeyou know, I was jumping up and
down and we were all just I mean, we're going to find out the
gender of the baby.
Right, and kudos to you as well.
I mean, I know this is your joband like you do it so
beautifully, but how you can bein moments like that with people
and like on a dime, you see itfirst.
(05:32):
I'll never forget just likewatching your face and your eyes
are like ice blue and I'malways like enamored how
beautiful they are and I'mwatching you, watching the
screen, and it was like she'strying to figure out how to say
it and she's still trying toconvince herself that
something's wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, and it's one of those things I think,
when you, when you see that youdon't, you want to make sure
you're right.
You know, and there are timeswhere you're like I don't know
exactly what's wrong.
But something's wrong you knowand I have to tell you that you
know and we're going to figureout what it is.
But this isn't typical, youknow, and it's, I think, the
(06:12):
blessing of you know doing it.
So much is that you kind ofknow what's normal, that when
you see something, even whenit's clearly, you can't quite
figure out what the abnormal is.
You know it's not normal andthen it's figuring it out.
It's figuring out the what andthe why as much as we can, I
(06:35):
think.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
And you have touched so many vaginas, as we all know,
and so many of these women whohave sat in the chair that
you're in you're their OBGYN andyou know they all say the same
thing and I know you getuncomfortable when I say that
you're basically an angel onearth.
But you know all thesedifferent stories and like
Melissa who's going to be likeat the end of the program, but
(07:00):
when you have someone like thatwho all of a sudden gets
spontaneously pregnant in theirmid four, you know, you see
everything, you see it all Right, you do, you know, and like
it's just the most um, I'm very,very excited.
I guess that's the word aboutbringing all these stories out
because there's all these common, there's all these common
(07:22):
themes, you know, and one thingthat a lot of women say is they
feel like they've failed.
You know they feel less thanthey feel like their bodies are
betraying them.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, you know, I mean, I guess I look at it so
differently.
I guess I just feel likethere's no failure in creating a
family, no matter what thatlooks like, right.
And so for some people that'sthe traditional route, for some
people that's the traditionalroute, for some people that's a
completely non-traditional route.
And I've been thinking, justknowing that we're coming here,
(07:53):
just thinking about how manydifferent ways can you create a
family.
And I started kind of goingthrough the list and I'm like,
well, you can do it thetraditional way.
You can do adoption, you can doman, we can use medication, we
can do inseminations.
We can do inseminations withyour partner's sperm.
We can do it with the donor'ssperm.
We can do, you know, ivf.
(08:13):
We can do IVF with yourpartner's sperm and your egg.
We can do it with somebodyelse's egg and your partner's
sperm.
And you can do it with your eggand somebody else's sperm.
And you can do it with somebodyelse's egg and somebody else's
sperm.
And you start to go through itand you're like we have a lot of
options, you know, I mean.
So I hope that's one of the themessages I try to give people
(08:34):
when they come in and they'refrustrated that they can't get
pregnant.
I'm like, if you want a family,you're gonna have a family.
I can't tell you today, lookingat you, what that journey is
going to look like or what we'regoing to need to do to make
that happen, but we can makethat happen and I think that
that hope is so important forpeople.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, I'm a testament to that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, and you know it's.
That doesn't mean that thatjourney isn't wrought with
frustration sometimes too.
You know, you definitely see onpeople's faces sort of that
sense of despair and that senseof like do we give up, you know?
Or what's my, what's mythreshold?
(09:21):
You know I'll do up to X andthen I'm not going to do it, or
the different things that peopleare comfortable with.
But you know, I really I'vealways encouraged people just
don't, don't quit.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Now that I'm talking about the egg donor, I do think
it's so important, though, youknow, to make sure that, no
matter what because there are somany options, you know, and
technology is an amazing thing,but I think that a woman's
innate desire to have a child,you know, it can take over
everything, and so if you'rethat sort of woman of action and
(09:57):
you're like I'm going to like,plow through this thing and I'm
going to make it happen, nomatter what, before you think
everything through, like I had alot of time, a lot of time to
think through all of thedifferent options, you know, but
I think, on behalf of, likeyour future child and they're
going to be adults, and liketheir story is important and
it's important, everybody feelslike this was the right choice
(10:18):
and we were all aligned, youknow.
I think that's all veryimportant too.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, for sure, and I .
But I also think it's, you know, I think people, I think people
a lot of times don't evenrealize sort of the options that
are available.
Right, and you know, I thinksometimes people are like, well,
if I can't be with my egg, youknow, then is it any different
(10:45):
than adoption?
And I'm like, well, you know, Imean in some ways yes, in some
ways no option.
And I'm like, well, you know, Imean in some ways yes, in some
ways no.
But I think for a lot of people,you know, that connection that
you get to growing a child ispretty powerful.
Right On the flip side, I havea lot of patients who, you know,
(11:06):
their children are geneticallytheirs but they've used a
gestational carrier that makesthem no less their child because
they didn't grow them, you know.
So I think there's it's.
I just don't ever believe thatraising, that being a parent, is
sort of the genetics or whatwomb they grew in.
(11:26):
Right, it's all about how doyou love this human being, how
do you take care of them, how doyou have that, you know, that
sense of just, when you havethat sense that this is the most
powerful thing in my life and Idon't want to ever lose this.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
That's being a parent right, oh, it totally is.
And I will say, you know, Ihave, um, like it or not, a lot
of experience with some of thisstuff and I will tell you, like
losing Jade, there was never amoment when I was in that room
with her where I was like, ohwell, she's not biologically
(12:06):
connect.
I mean there was never a momentthat the love for her I mean
I've lost one that wasbiologically mine and I've lost
two that weren't and the painand the hurt, it wasn't
different.
And so I can you know, and likehaving you know Dane and Kyle
now, and knowing the love andhow much, I just know that the
universe and I made it happen,right, I know that, but like the
(12:27):
universe was so much.
I just know that the universeand I made it happen, right, I
know that, but like the universewas so much a part of that.
So I know how much you can love.
And I think that's a fear forpeople, rightfully so, because
it's just not this, it's notthis mainstream thing.
It's scary, it's weird, it'snot the way you grew up with
your little children's books andyou get married, you have kids,
(12:48):
you know it's, it's off thebeaten path, but I think to your
point.
It's important that people Aknow their options Should they
choose to have, you know, gothat route and have access to
options.
You know, look at Gwenna, forexample.
She didn't even considersurrogacy, like she says it in
her interview.
She's like I didn't even thinkthat was for me, like I, I just
(13:09):
figured that was for people likeKim Kardashian, right, you know
.
So it is important that peopleknow, right, that you do have
choices, whether you choosethose routes or not.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, and the same is true.
You know, when women are, youknow, single and they want to
have a family.
You know a lot of people don'teven think about the option of
donor sperm.
And I'm, you know I have thatconversation when women come in
and you know they talk abouttheir frustrations of not
finding you know, mr Right, andyou know wanting to have a
(13:42):
family, and I'll say, have youever thought about doing it on
your own?
You know, because it's animportant conversation to have
and people just don't thinkabout it Like you think.
Oh yeah, I've got to find theperson and then have the baby,
but it doesn't have to be inthat order and sometimes it's
better because you're notcompromising, right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Sunday and this girl comes up to me and she's like do
you remember me?
I'm like I recognize your faceand I worked with her for a
really long time back in collegeand she'd been listening to the
show and she's all about thisinfertility series and she's
like I've decided to do it on myown and I'm like good for you.
And you could tell hertrepidation.
Of course you're nervous, Ofcourse you're scared, but I mean
, I feel like that's soempowering that you do have that
(14:32):
option.
Right, you know, and if youhave a support system, Right.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Well there's a lot of single moms out there that are
doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Well, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
By choice or otherwise you know, but it's
part of the conversation thatshould be had.
I mean people need to know whatchoices are available.
You know that should be had.
I mean people need to know whatchoices are available.
You know and I think peopledon't realize that there's
embryos that need, you know, tobe adopted, that there's people
that are willing to donate eggs.
You know you hear about spermdonors.
You don't hear as much aboutegg donors.
(15:02):
People need to know that thoseare options and we have a lot of
patients that do it.
But to your point, you know, Ido think that, especially in
this day and age, it's unlikelythat it's going to stay a secret
, you know.
So if you go into it with thenotion that you're not going to
(15:23):
tell anybody, your kids arenever going to know, it's not
probably realistic becausethere's too many 23andMes and
there's too many things, and soit's an important part, I think,
of the psychology behind all ofthis.
Whether it's adoption, whetherit's, you know, using donor eggs
, using donor sperms, is to havethat conversation of like.
(15:43):
You know it's a.
This isn't.
No child is ever going toregret being born, you know, and
the story can be a reallywonderful one.
Don't be afraid to share it youknow, and and and tell them
it's part of their.
You know who they are.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It goes back to what I said a little bit earlier
about being really ready andreally aligned with your
decision, and I am, you know.
Again, I stay in my lanebecause this is my, my way that
I do it.
I don't want to just becauseI've experienced.
I don't want to throw myopinions heavily on other people
, but I don't.
I don't understand the idea ofsecrecy around it to your
(16:21):
children, right?
I think that, no matter what itis in life, the minute that
your child finds out somethingthat you're not being
forthcoming, it takes a reallylong time to recover from that
and something is all it's theiridentity and I think it creates
this notion of shame around it.
And, like I would always wantDane and Kyle to know like we
(16:42):
fought so hard for you, like Iam so excited about, are they
going to have identity crisesMost kids do excited about?
Are they going to have identitycrises Most kids do?
Is this going to be a part ofit?
Maybe, but all I can do and allBrady can do, is be real
steadfast and confident andaligned in the decision and to
make them feel proud and thatyou are unique and you were
(17:05):
really, really wanted.
I mean, like my God, how canyou finally look at that story
Like, let's say, when they'reover their teenage angst and
look back on that and go, wow,right, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Well, I think it's fear, right, it's fear that
drives that decision.
So it's the fear of doing itbecause you feel like you're not
going to be connected to thechild.
It's the same fear of feelinglike your child's not going to
be connected to you.
But that's not true.
But I think to your point.
I think if you wait too long,then it's that feeling of
(17:39):
deception, especially if youwait until they're teenagers or
they find out as adults.
So I think, especially in thisday and age, it used to be that
you could do closed adoptions oryou could do things and the
likelihood of somebody findingout is really low.
But you can't, you're not goingto be able to do that.
So it is, it has to be, I think, part of the discussion you
(18:02):
know that people have to havewhenever they're feeling, when
they've tried to figure out whatthey're comfortable with.
You know, doing it, what,what's that threshold in which
they can, they can go to?
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I'm actually excited about theegg donor conversation because I
(19:55):
know that it will help a lot ofpeople and I hope people come
to me the way they have forsurrogacy.
I mean, it's like a floodgateand it's been really great and
the questions are all valid andthey're all so.
Everyone is so vulnerable andreally trying to make the right
calls and nervous and they don'treally know, like, how to
handle it and my advice wouldalways be transparency, right.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I think with me any, I mean anything, you know, but
like that's just a who wants tocarry that weight around, right?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Right, for sure, for sure.
But, yeah, I love what you'redoing.
You know, I think it's soimportant just to, for lack of a
better word, normalize all ofthis, you know, to make it part
of the conversation, to make itpart of the discussion that you
know, it's okay if it's nottraditional you know, oh no, I
mean, and look at all the samesex couples, I mean it's like
(20:45):
this isn't going away.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Everyone deserves.
Everyone deserves equal rightto have a family.
And Jess is one of the oh mygosh, she is a firecracker.
And she came in and was talkingabout her and her wife and she
was saying you know, can for thelove of God, people stop
imposing for lesbians to adopt?
She's like you adopt.
She's like no disrespect, butlike just because we're lesbians
(21:10):
doesn't mean we have to adopt.
So there are so many differentcouples and ways.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
And like well, the same is true for for male
couples.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I mean I've had really interesting situations
over the years.
I mean I've had patients thatwere surrogates, you know, for
male gay couples, and I've hadone that was the egg donor and
the surrogate.
And then you know, onepregnancy they used one sperm
and then the other pregnancythey used another.
(21:41):
I've had situations where theytake both the sperm, they put it
both in and they just see whathappens.
So I mean it's great, it's fun.
This is what it's supposed tobe about.
It's all about, kind of, youknow, this creation of families.
That's an exciting thing, youprocess is hard, the process can
(22:02):
be sad, but the outcomes aremiraculous, no matter how they
happen, and so that's the funpart.
That's the fun part of what Iget to do is help people kind of
get through that hardship toget to that other side of the
bridge you know and have the joyI just had.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Skye and Jason in oh good, and that was really great.
I hadn't seen them for a while.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
They're such great people.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
They were just so great.
I'll never forget being in thedelivery room with all of you.
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Well, I'm sure it's a little out of body.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It was very out of body.
Yeah, it was very out of body.
I couldn't quite believe thatwe were there.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah Well, I think it's all very surreal, you know.
But on the flip side, I can seethat how surreal it would be
like for you being there andwatching your baby being born
from somebody else.
But I mean, I know, when I hadmy children and I was laying
there having my C-sections, itfelt very surreal too, you know,
and I'm like I remember lookingat him for the first time and
(23:10):
being like, hmm, that's mine,huh.
So I don't know, I don't knowif that's just a process of.
So I don't know, I don't knowif that's just a process of you
know the different ways in whichwe do it or if it's just part
of parenthood.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
No, I think it's probably both.
Yeah, I'm just so glad I hadyou with me for everything oh
well, I'm so glad that you letme be part of your whole journey
.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You know I feel very blessed.
I mean, can you believe we'reold hags sitting here?
It's for yourself blessed.
I mean, can you believe we'reold hags sitting here?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I remember when I first met you.
I remember the first time thatwe were in the um, you were
selling a car or something andyou were like you want to buy a
car?
I car.
I'm like no, but you can lookat my vagina and I think I love
you that is awesome we werebabies, like I know.
I feel like it was 2002, yeah,yeah, and here we are and you're
(24:13):
still looking at my crusty oldvagina.
This thing's holding up.
You know what, speaking ofcrusty old vaginas vaginas do
they get dry when you're goingthrough menopause?
Mine has not, but I've talkedto a couple of friends and I
mean this yeah, they do yeahinteresting you lose the
lubrication forever, but we haveways to make that better but
they can't do so.
(24:33):
Will estrogen like make yourvagina like juicy again?
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes, do not suffer with a dry vagina Asking for a
friend.
Come in, let's fix it.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
It actually really is not me, which no one's going to
believe that now and there'snon-hormonal ways that can help
too.
I got the vagina questionscoming here Popping.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh my God, I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Dry vagina in here popping.
Oh my god, I can't wait.
Dry vagina, you've come to theright place.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Vagina feeling like sandpaper yes, do not suffer you
know, women do not, should notsuffer well, I think there are
options.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Maybe we I think we're good at hormonal
replacement therapy is okay formost people and actually
beneficial.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yes, I think I mean this is.
I could go, I could talk aboutthis for hours.
I mean, I think that there isso many benefits to hormone
replacement therapy and I thinkyou should all women should have
a discussion with their doctorsabout it.
I think it has to beindividualized, and figuring out
the right approach and theright things for an individual
(25:40):
woman is really important.
I think that there's thependulum always swings right.
The Women's Health Initiativestudy, when it came out, the
pendulum went way over here,right over here right Now, in
(26:05):
part because of social media andthe fact that it's such a
profitable industry.
You know, everybody's lookingfor the fountain of youth and
everybody is looking to justhave a magic wand to make them
25 again.
You know, now the pendulum hasshifted way to this other side,
right, and I think we're goingto eventually kind of find I
hope that we find this middleground.
But I think that there's a, youknow, this menopausal age.
(26:29):
We're all struggling a littlebit, and so there's this.
My fear is that people are beingtaken advantage of a little bit
.
You know that there's.
I mean, I think I read thatthere's something like the
beauty industry is somethinglike a $520 billion industry or
(26:53):
something like that, and youknow this is getting wrapped up
in that a little bit and youknow this is getting wrapped up
in that a little bit.
And I see a lot of thingshappening or being done by
places that should not be doingit.
And people come to me becausethey're having complications and
I just wish that people couldfeel comfortable or feel like
(27:15):
their doctors were going tolisten to them and be open to
having the conversation withthem so it can be done in
practice in a good way, right Ina medically safe way, in a way
that's really not just throwingthings at them.
You know that may or may notwork.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Okay, so we've got some questions for you, okay,
and you need to answer them withone sentence or less.
Okay, okay, and you can saypass if you would like.
Okay, we understand that you'rea classy woman and that we're
not a classy show, so sometimeswe take things to a level that
you may not really want to be apart of.
Okay Spitting.
Have you seen a vajazzledvagina Like I didn't even know
(27:53):
this existed?
Yes, I have.
How did you react?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I think I asked what's going on down here, and
there was beads.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
They were like little , almost like rhinestone
stickers that were stuck to thevulva.
Okay, yeah, did you.
Was it a good look like?
Were you, were you like?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
thinking that was a good look.
I I just kept thinking thatwouldn't that be uncomfortable?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
is it possible to be permanently stretched out, or is
that just propaganda from guyswith small penises?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I mean, there are women who undergo some birth
trauma, where things mightchange.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I kind of asked you this before, but literally, have
you ever judged someone'svaginal haircut or lack thereof
internally?
Yes, can my vagina actuallyfall asleep if I sit on a spin
bike too long?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
or should I stop googling things at 2 am?
Well, it can get numb fromnerve compression.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Do you secretly know when someone lied about their
last period date?
No.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Are you at liberty to say what it was.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I have taken multiple objects out of the vaginas.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
What was?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
the most wild object, a polished stone, benoit balls.
I guess that's not that unusual, but just that they couldn't
get out um the stone wasunexpected, though can my
vibrator really desensitize meor is this just bullshit?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
my partner heard on tiktok it will not desensitize
you if sex sends me into labor,do you think my husband deserves
credit or punishment?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
It's not going to put you into labor.
If he has a big, swinging, bigswinging cock, it might make you
contract, but it's not going toput you into labor.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
If I pass gas during my exam, do you ignore it?
Or have you ever acknowledgedit and laughed?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I would ignore it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
If I crave dirt or laundry soap during pregnancy,
am I possessed or should I seekhelp?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, that might be a sign of iron deficiency.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Is pregnancy brain a medical excuse to ignore people?
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
It's a real thing.
Pregnancy brain is a real thing.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
yeah well so isn't menopause brain too?
That's some brain fog yeah,yeah.
What's the guy's excuse fortheir brain fog?
Manopause what hey you should?
You should trademark that?
Does it ever not get weird whensomeone duties during labor?
Or are you just so used to it?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
No, it's not weird.
I just try to make it so thatthey don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
They just don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, I hope, because I just want people to focus on
that.
It happens.
It just means they're a goodpushing.
Did that happen to me?
It was good pushing Do youremember, and if it did, I
wouldn't tell you.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I'm sure it was the most beautiful thing you've ever
seen.
Have you ever thought, oh God,not this vagina again when a
patient arrives?
No, so, dr Shepard, anythingany like words of wisdom,
something you would say tosomebody in exam room, or
something you know, just to kindof for people who are embarking
(31:32):
on this journey or who havebeen in it for a little bit,
like just from your ownexperience and perspective?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
In terms of fertility .
Yeah, I would say one bepatient with the process.
You know, I think we spend mostof our adult lives trying to
avoid pregnancy.
So there's this expectationthat when you're ready, it's
just going to happen, and that'srarely the case.
I mean, some people are verylucky and that is, you know,
(31:58):
their story.
But even as a gynecologist, ittook me over a year to get
pregnant with my kids.
You know, I knew what to do,but it just wasn't easy, right?
So I think that you know that'sthat's the one thing that I I
would tell people.
And and not to give up, youknow.
So if you're struggling, don'twait two years and then come in
(32:21):
and be like, well, it hasn'thappened in two years.
I guess it's not going tohappen.
That's what we're here for.
You're here to try to figureout the whys and what do we do
to make it better?
How do we make it happen?
So, hopefully, people havephysicians that they trust and
physicians that they can go tothat will help them and guide
them.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Well, I love you.
I love you too, and thanks forstopping in.
Thanks for being a part of thisseries.
I love you too, and thanks forstopping in.
Thanks for being a part of this.
Um, this series, I just I knowit's.
It's already been veryimpactful for people and the
shares and the engagement it'sjust been incredible.
So I really I'm confident andhopeful that it it lands in the
laps of people who need it.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, I know it's hard.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah, if you're still out there following your girl,
follow me on YouTube, spotify,apple or wherever you get your
podcasts.
And until next time, make sureyou're, you know, taking care of
your stuff down there beforeyou go see your OBGYN.
And keep moving, baby.
I mean, I love you.
If you made it to the end ofthis episode, thank you.
(33:23):
It means more than I can putinto words.
And remember, please tag me onInstagram, shoot me a DM, leave
a comment, drop a review.
I read every single message andyour words remind me why this
work matters.
You can find more resources,ways to connect and everything
I'm building over atkerrycroftcom.
Thank you again for listening,thank you for holding space and
(33:45):
thank you for being part of thisconversation.
And until next time, keepmoving, baby.
Welcome back to the Keri Croft Show and to the next
episode in our infertilityseries.
Today I'm bringing you aconversation that feels really
special.
I'm sitting down with my OBGYN,dr Shepard, the woman who's
been by my side through myentire infertility journey.
But here's the thing she's notjust my doctor, she's an
advocate in every sense of theword, and over the years she's
(00:22):
become a true friend of mine.
We've been through a lottogether and I couldn't have
asked for a better person towalk this road with.
If you've been following thisseries, you know it's all about
opening up the conversationaround infertility, because
sharing these stories it matters.
It helps people feel seen,heard and a little less alone.
If this resonates with you, orif you know someone who could
(00:45):
use this message, I'd love foryou to share it.
Rate the show, leave a review,send it to a friend.
All right, let's dive in.
Here's my conversation with theone and only Dr Shepard.
Facing challenges, conceivingExperience, compassionate care
from leading fertility expertsat Pinnacle Fertility Ohio, your
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Speaker 2 (02:13):
Don't say I've never done anything for you.
I watched uh gwyneth's todaylike her part of your episode
and I, um I started crying, likewhen she talked about um, that
she'd never have the ever get tofeel a child girl and she broke
down.
It made me cry.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I was like, oh, you that moment when I asked her
about the grief of not you know,and when she stopped, she
stopped for so long, like.
So I was like I wasn't sure,like in the editing process, the
only reason why I shortened it,cause I felt like I wanted to
keep it in, but I shortened itbecause, um, you couldn't really
see it on the audience, so weended up shortening it, but we
(02:43):
sat here in silence for probablyyou know, a good half a minute
and it was just like you know,you just felt it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
And God, she's so great, she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And she's so you know she really walks the walk.
You know, like she's gone aboveand beyond for so many patients
and shown up on weekends andthings that are not in her job
description just to help peoplecreate families.
Yeah, you know, and she does.
She's just she never says no,no, especially when it involves
fertility.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I love your shirt.
Thank you, and you're right,difficult roads can lead to
beautiful things.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, well, it's funny because when I saw it it
(03:43):
reminded me of like, like I'vealwayslance of understanding,
you know, and I always feel thatwith loss.
You know, like when people gothrough an early you know
pregnancy loss, I'm like whenyou're holding that next baby in
your arms and you know, had younot gone through this hardship,
you wouldn't have that miracle.
You know, it doesn't take thatloss away, it doesn't take that
(04:05):
grief away, but it helps maybegive some peace to it in a
certain way.
And I think we can apply thatto you know, I think I've
applied it personally to manythings in my own, you know, life
.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I sat down today and did my own like.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Carrie and I talked about for the first time, like
our choice to what we did withAngel and choosing to deliver
her the egg donor.
I've never I've not talkedabout any of this publicly ever,
you know, and so, um, peoplewho know in my life know I was
just very private about, as youknow, um, but there's no one
who's been through my wholestory except for Brady, other
(04:41):
than you.
I mean, you've been there foreverything you know and like the
, the idea of um, the pro-choiceangle.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
And so when you and I were sitting down to talk about
that and how important it isand I and I never had said
anything about my own personaljourney yet Um, but having the
ability, when you are faced withthat incredibly, are faced with
that incredibly, I mean I willnever forget being in that room.
(05:10):
My mom was there, Brady wasthere, I was wearing a pink tank
top and we were all just likeyou know, I was jumping up and
down and we were all just I mean, we're going to find out the
gender of the baby.
Right, and kudos to you as well.
I mean, I know this is your joband like you do it so
beautifully, but how you can bein moments like that with people
and like on a dime, you see itfirst.
(05:32):
I'll never forget just likewatching your face and your eyes
are like ice blue and I'malways like enamored how
beautiful they are and I'mwatching you, watching the
screen, and it was like she'strying to figure out how to say
it and she's still trying toconvince herself that
something's wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, and it's one of those things I think,
when you, when you see that youdon't, you want to make sure
you're right.
You know, and there are timeswhere you're like I don't know
exactly what's wrong.
But something's wrong you knowand I have to tell you that you
know and we're going to figureout what it is.
But this isn't typical, youknow, and it's, I think, the
(06:12):
blessing of you know doing it.
So much is that you kind ofknow what's normal, that when
you see something, even whenit's clearly, you can't quite
figure out what the abnormal is.
You know it's not normal andthen it's figuring it out.
It's figuring out the what andthe why as much as we can, I
(06:35):
think.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
And you have touched so many vaginas, as we all know,
and so many of these women whohave sat in the chair that
you're in you're their OBGYN andyou know they all say the same
thing and I know you getuncomfortable when I say that
you're basically an angel onearth.
But you know all thesedifferent stories and like
Melissa who's going to be likeat the end of the program, but
(07:00):
when you have someone like thatwho all of a sudden gets
spontaneously pregnant in theirmid four, you know, you see
everything, you see it all Right, you do, you know, and like
it's just the most um, I'm very,very excited.
I guess that's the word aboutbringing all these stories out
because there's all these common, there's all these common
(07:22):
themes, you know, and one thingthat a lot of women say is they
feel like they've failed.
You know they feel less thanthey feel like their bodies are
betraying them.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, you know, I mean, I guess I look at it so
differently.
I guess I just feel likethere's no failure in creating a
family, no matter what thatlooks like, right.
And so for some people that'sthe traditional route, for some
people that's the traditionalroute, for some people that's a
completely non-traditional route.
And I've been thinking, justknowing that we're coming here,
(07:53):
just thinking about how manydifferent ways can you create a
family.
And I started kind of goingthrough the list and I'm like,
well, you can do it thetraditional way.
You can do adoption, you can doman, we can use medication, we
can do inseminations.
We can do inseminations withyour partner's sperm.
We can do it with the donor'ssperm.
We can do, you know, ivf.
(08:13):
We can do IVF with yourpartner's sperm and your egg.
We can do it with somebodyelse's egg and your partner's
sperm.
And you can do it with your eggand somebody else's sperm.
And you can do it with somebodyelse's egg and somebody else's
sperm.
And you start to go through itand you're like we have a lot of
options, you know, I mean.
So I hope that's one of the themessages I try to give people
(08:34):
when they come in and they'refrustrated that they can't get
pregnant.
I'm like, if you want a family,you're gonna have a family.
I can't tell you today, lookingat you, what that journey is
going to look like or what we'regoing to need to do to make
that happen, but we can makethat happen and I think that
that hope is so important forpeople.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, I'm a testament to that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, and you know it's.
That doesn't mean that thatjourney isn't wrought with
frustration sometimes too.
You know, you definitely see onpeople's faces sort of that
sense of despair and that senseof like do we give up, you know?
Or what's my, what's mythreshold?
(09:21):
You know I'll do up to X andthen I'm not going to do it, or
the different things that peopleare comfortable with.
But you know, I really I'vealways encouraged people just
don't, don't quit.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Now that I'm talking about the egg donor, I do think
it's so important, though, youknow, to make sure that, no
matter what because there are somany options, you know, and
technology is an amazing thing,but I think that a woman's
innate desire to have a child,you know, it can take over
everything, and so if you'rethat sort of woman of action and
(09:57):
you're like I'm going to like,plow through this thing and I'm
going to make it happen, nomatter what, before you think
everything through, like I had alot of time, a lot of time to
think through all of thedifferent options, you know, but
I think, on behalf of, likeyour future child and they're
going to be adults, and liketheir story is important and
it's important, everybody feelslike this was the right choice
(10:18):
and we were all aligned, youknow.
I think that's all veryimportant too.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, for sure, and I .
But I also think it's, you know, I think people, I think people
a lot of times don't evenrealize sort of the options that
are available.
Right, and you know, I thinksometimes people are like, well,
if I can't be with my egg, youknow, then is it any different
(10:45):
than adoption?
And I'm like, well, you know, Imean in some ways yes, in some
ways no option.
And I'm like, well, you know, Imean in some ways yes, in some
ways no.
But I think for a lot of people,you know, that connection that
you get to growing a child ispretty powerful.
Right On the flip side, I havea lot of patients who, you know,
(11:06):
their children are geneticallytheirs but they've used a
gestational carrier that makesthem no less their child because
they didn't grow them, you know.
So I think there's it's.
I just don't ever believe thatraising, that being a parent, is
sort of the genetics or whatwomb they grew in.
(11:26):
Right, it's all about how doyou love this human being, how
do you take care of them, how doyou have that, you know, that
sense of just, when you havethat sense that this is the most
powerful thing in my life and Idon't want to ever lose this.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
That's being a parent right, oh, it totally is.
And I will say, you know, Ihave, um, like it or not, a lot
of experience with some of thisstuff and I will tell you, like
losing Jade, there was never amoment when I was in that room
with her where I was like, ohwell, she's not biologically
(12:06):
connect.
I mean there was never a momentthat the love for her I mean
I've lost one that wasbiologically mine and I've lost
two that weren't and the painand the hurt, it wasn't
different.
And so I can you know, and likehaving you know Dane and Kyle
now, and knowing the love andhow much, I just know that the
universe and I made it happen,right, I know that, but like the
(12:27):
universe was so much.
I just know that the universeand I made it happen, right, I
know that, but like the universewas so much a part of that.
So I know how much you can love.
And I think that's a fear forpeople, rightfully so, because
it's just not this, it's notthis mainstream thing.
It's scary, it's weird, it'snot the way you grew up with
your little children's books andyou get married, you have kids,
(12:48):
you know it's, it's off thebeaten path, but I think to your
point.
It's important that people Aknow their options Should they
choose to have, you know, gothat route and have access to
options.
You know, look at Gwenna, forexample.
She didn't even considersurrogacy, like she says it in
her interview.
She's like I didn't even thinkthat was for me, like I, I just
(13:09):
figured that was for people likeKim Kardashian, right, you know
.
So it is important that peopleknow, right, that you do have
choices, whether you choosethose routes or not.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, and the same is true.
You know, when women are, youknow, single and they want to
have a family.
You know a lot of people don'teven think about the option of
donor sperm.
And I'm, you know I have thatconversation when women come in
and you know they talk abouttheir frustrations of not
finding you know, mr Right, andyou know wanting to have a
(13:42):
family, and I'll say, have youever thought about doing it on
your own?
You know, because it's animportant conversation to have
and people just don't thinkabout it Like you think.
Oh yeah, I've got to find theperson and then have the baby,
but it doesn't have to be inthat order and sometimes it's
better because you're notcompromising, right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Sunday and this girl comes up to me and she's like do
you remember me?
I'm like I recognize your faceand I worked with her for a
really long time back in collegeand she'd been listening to the
show and she's all about thisinfertility series and she's
like I've decided to do it on myown and I'm like good for you.
And you could tell hertrepidation.
Of course you're nervous, Ofcourse you're scared, but I mean
, I feel like that's soempowering that you do have that
(14:32):
option.
Right, you know, and if youhave a support system, Right.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Well there's a lot of single moms out there that are
doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Well, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
By choice or otherwise you know, but it's
part of the conversation thatshould be had.
I mean people need to know whatchoices are available.
You know that should be had.
I mean people need to know whatchoices are available.
You know and I think peopledon't realize that there's
embryos that need, you know, tobe adopted, that there's people
that are willing to donate eggs.
You know you hear about spermdonors.
You don't hear as much aboutegg donors.
(15:02):
People need to know that thoseare options and we have a lot of
patients that do it.
But to your point, you know, Ido think that, especially in
this day and age, it's unlikelythat it's going to stay a secret
, you know.
So if you go into it with thenotion that you're not going to
(15:23):
tell anybody, your kids arenever going to know, it's not
probably realistic becausethere's too many 23andMes and
there's too many things, and soit's an important part, I think,
of the psychology behind all ofthis.
Whether it's adoption, whetherit's, you know, using donor eggs
, using donor sperms, is to havethat conversation of like.
(15:43):
You know it's a.
This isn't.
No child is ever going toregret being born, you know, and
the story can be a reallywonderful one.
Don't be afraid to share it youknow, and and and tell them
it's part of their.
You know who they are.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It goes back to what I said a little bit earlier
about being really ready andreally aligned with your
decision, and I am, you know.
Again, I stay in my lanebecause this is my, my way that
I do it.
I don't want to just becauseI've experienced.
I don't want to throw myopinions heavily on other people
, but I don't.
I don't understand the idea ofsecrecy around it to your
(16:21):
children, right?
I think that, no matter what itis in life, the minute that
your child finds out somethingthat you're not being
forthcoming, it takes a reallylong time to recover from that
and something is all it's theiridentity and I think it creates
this notion of shame around it.
And, like I would always wantDane and Kyle to know like we
(16:42):
fought so hard for you, like Iam so excited about, are they
going to have identity crisesMost kids do excited about?
Are they going to have identitycrises Most kids do?
Is this going to be a part ofit?
Maybe, but all I can do and allBrady can do, is be real
steadfast and confident andaligned in the decision and to
make them feel proud and thatyou are unique and you were
(17:05):
really, really wanted.
I mean, like my God, how canyou finally look at that story
Like, let's say, when they'reover their teenage angst and
look back on that and go, wow,right, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Well, I think it's fear, right, it's fear that
drives that decision.
So it's the fear of doing itbecause you feel like you're not
going to be connected to thechild.
It's the same fear of feelinglike your child's not going to
be connected to you.
But that's not true.
But I think to your point.
I think if you wait too long,then it's that feeling of
(17:39):
deception, especially if youwait until they're teenagers or
they find out as adults.
So I think, especially in thisday and age, it used to be that
you could do closed adoptions oryou could do things and the
likelihood of somebody findingout is really low.
But you can't, you're not goingto be able to do that.
So it is, it has to be, I think, part of the discussion you
(18:02):
know that people have to havewhenever they're feeling, when
they've tried to figure out whatthey're comfortable with.
You know, doing it, what,what's that threshold in which
they can, they can go to?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
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I'm actually excited about theegg donor conversation because I
(19:55):
know that it will help a lot ofpeople and I hope people come
to me the way they have forsurrogacy.
I mean, it's like a floodgateand it's been really great and
the questions are all valid andthey're all so.
Everyone is so vulnerable andreally trying to make the right
calls and nervous and they don'treally know, like, how to
handle it and my advice wouldalways be transparency, right.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I think with me any, I mean anything, you know, but
like that's just a who wants tocarry that weight around, right?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Right, for sure, for sure.
But, yeah, I love what you'redoing.
You know, I think it's soimportant just to, for lack of a
better word, normalize all ofthis, you know, to make it part
of the conversation, to make itpart of the discussion that you
know, it's okay if it's nottraditional you know, oh no, I
mean, and look at all the samesex couples, I mean it's like
(20:45):
this isn't going away.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Everyone deserves.
Everyone deserves equal rightto have a family.
And Jess is one of the oh mygosh, she is a firecracker.
And she came in and was talkingabout her and her wife and she
was saying you know, can for thelove of God, people stop
imposing for lesbians to adopt?
She's like you adopt.
She's like no disrespect, butlike just because we're lesbians
(21:10):
doesn't mean we have to adopt.
So there are so many differentcouples and ways.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
And like well, the same is true for for male
couples.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I mean I've had really interesting situations
over the years.
I mean I've had patients thatwere surrogates, you know, for
male gay couples, and I've hadone that was the egg donor and
the surrogate.
And then you know, onepregnancy they used one sperm
and then the other pregnancythey used another.
(21:41):
I've had situations where theytake both the sperm, they put it
both in and they just see whathappens.
So I mean it's great, it's fun.
This is what it's supposed tobe about.
It's all about, kind of, youknow, this creation of families.
That's an exciting thing, youprocess is hard, the process can
(22:02):
be sad, but the outcomes aremiraculous, no matter how they
happen, and so that's the funpart.
That's the fun part of what Iget to do is help people kind of
get through that hardship toget to that other side of the
bridge you know and have the joyI just had.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Skye and Jason in oh good, and that was really great.
I hadn't seen them for a while.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
They're such great people.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
They were just so great.
I'll never forget being in thedelivery room with all of you.
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Well, I'm sure it's a little out of body.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It was very out of body.
Yeah, it was very out of body.
I couldn't quite believe thatwe were there.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah Well, I think it's all very surreal, you know.
But on the flip side, I can seethat how surreal it would be
like for you being there andwatching your baby being born
from somebody else.
But I mean, I know, when I hadmy children and I was laying
there having my C-sections, itfelt very surreal too, you know,
and I'm like I remember lookingat him for the first time and
(23:10):
being like, hmm, that's mine,huh.
So I don't know, I don't knowif that's just a process of.
So I don't know, I don't knowif that's just a process of you
know the different ways in whichwe do it or if it's just part
of parenthood.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
No, I think it's probably both.
Yeah, I'm just so glad I hadyou with me for everything oh
well, I'm so glad that you letme be part of your whole journey
.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You know I feel very blessed.
I mean, can you believe we'reold hags sitting here?
It's for yourself blessed.
I mean, can you believe we'reold hags sitting here?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I remember when I first met you.
I remember the first time thatwe were in the um, you were
selling a car or something andyou were like you want to buy a
car?
I car.
I'm like no, but you can lookat my vagina and I think I love
you that is awesome we werebabies, like I know.
I feel like it was 2002, yeah,yeah, and here we are and you're
(24:13):
still looking at my crusty oldvagina.
This thing's holding up.
You know what, speaking ofcrusty old vaginas vaginas do
they get dry when you're goingthrough menopause?
Mine has not, but I've talkedto a couple of friends and I
mean this yeah, they do yeahinteresting you lose the
lubrication forever, but we haveways to make that better but
they can't do so.
(24:33):
Will estrogen like make yourvagina like juicy again?
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes, do not suffer with a dry vagina Asking for a
friend.
Come in, let's fix it.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
It actually really is not me, which no one's going to
believe that now and there'snon-hormonal ways that can help
too.
I got the vagina questionscoming here Popping.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh my God, I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Dry vagina in here popping.
Oh my god, I can't wait.
Dry vagina, you've come to theright place.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Vagina feeling like sandpaper yes, do not suffer you
know, women do not, should notsuffer well, I think there are
options.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Maybe we I think we're good at hormonal
replacement therapy is okay formost people and actually
beneficial.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yes, I think I mean this is.
I could go, I could talk aboutthis for hours.
I mean, I think that there isso many benefits to hormone
replacement therapy and I thinkyou should all women should have
a discussion with their doctorsabout it.
I think it has to beindividualized, and figuring out
the right approach and theright things for an individual
(25:40):
woman is really important.
I think that there's thependulum always swings right.
The Women's Health Initiativestudy, when it came out, the
pendulum went way over here,right over here right Now, in
(26:05):
part because of social media andthe fact that it's such a
profitable industry.
You know, everybody's lookingfor the fountain of youth and
everybody is looking to justhave a magic wand to make them
25 again.
You know, now the pendulum hasshifted way to this other side,
right, and I think we're goingto eventually kind of find I
hope that we find this middleground.
But I think that there's a, youknow, this menopausal age.
(26:29):
We're all struggling a littlebit, and so there's this.
My fear is that people are beingtaken advantage of a little bit
.
You know that there's.
I mean, I think I read thatthere's something like the
beauty industry is somethinglike a $520 billion industry or
(26:53):
something like that, and youknow this is getting wrapped up
in that a little bit and youknow this is getting wrapped up
in that a little bit.
And I see a lot of thingshappening or being done by
places that should not be doingit.
And people come to me becausethey're having complications and
I just wish that people couldfeel comfortable or feel like
(27:15):
their doctors were going tolisten to them and be open to
having the conversation withthem so it can be done in
practice in a good way, right Ina medically safe way, in a way
that's really not just throwingthings at them.
You know that may or may notwork.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Okay, so we've got some questions for you, okay,
and you need to answer them withone sentence or less.
Okay, okay, and you can saypass if you would like.
Okay, we understand that you'rea classy woman and that we're
not a classy show, so sometimeswe take things to a level that
you may not really want to be apart of.
Okay Spitting.
Have you seen a vajazzledvagina Like I didn't even know
(27:53):
this existed?
Yes, I have.
How did you react?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I think I asked what's going on down here, and
there was beads.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
They were like little , almost like rhinestone
stickers that were stuck to thevulva.
Okay, yeah, did you.
Was it a good look like?
Were you, were you like?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
thinking that was a good look.
I I just kept thinking thatwouldn't that be uncomfortable?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
is it possible to be permanently stretched out, or is
that just propaganda from guyswith small penises?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I mean, there are women who undergo some birth
trauma, where things mightchange.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I kind of asked you this before, but literally, have
you ever judged someone'svaginal haircut or lack thereof
internally?
Yes, can my vagina actuallyfall asleep if I sit on a spin
bike too long?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
or should I stop googling things at 2 am?
Well, it can get numb fromnerve compression.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Do you secretly know when someone lied about their
last period date?
No.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Are you at liberty to say what it was.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I have taken multiple objects out of the vaginas.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
What was?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
the most wild object, a polished stone, benoit balls.
I guess that's not that unusual, but just that they couldn't
get out um the stone wasunexpected, though can my
vibrator really desensitize meor is this just bullshit?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
my partner heard on tiktok it will not desensitize
you if sex sends me into labor,do you think my husband deserves
credit or punishment?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
It's not going to put you into labor.
If he has a big, swinging, bigswinging cock, it might make you
contract, but it's not going toput you into labor.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
If I pass gas during my exam, do you ignore it?
Or have you ever acknowledgedit and laughed?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I would ignore it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
If I crave dirt or laundry soap during pregnancy,
am I possessed or should I seekhelp?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, that might be a sign of iron deficiency.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Is pregnancy brain a medical excuse to ignore people?
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
It's a real thing.
Pregnancy brain is a real thing.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
yeah well so isn't menopause brain too?
That's some brain fog yeah,yeah.
What's the guy's excuse fortheir brain fog?
Manopause what hey you should?
You should trademark that?
Does it ever not get weird whensomeone duties during labor?
Or are you just so used to it?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
No, it's not weird.
I just try to make it so thatthey don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
They just don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, I hope, because I just want people to focus on
that.
It happens.
It just means they're a goodpushing.
Did that happen to me?
It was good pushing Do youremember, and if it did, I
wouldn't tell you.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I'm sure it was the most beautiful thing you've ever
seen.
Have you ever thought, oh God,not this vagina again when a
patient arrives?
No, so, dr Shepard, anythingany like words of wisdom,
something you would say tosomebody in exam room, or
something you know, just to kindof for people who are embarking
(31:32):
on this journey or who havebeen in it for a little bit,
like just from your ownexperience and perspective?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
In terms of fertility .
Yeah, I would say one bepatient with the process.
You know, I think we spend mostof our adult lives trying to
avoid pregnancy.
So there's this expectationthat when you're ready, it's
just going to happen, and that'srarely the case.
I mean, some people are verylucky and that is, you know,
(31:58):
their story.
But even as a gynecologist, ittook me over a year to get
pregnant with my kids.
You know, I knew what to do,but it just wasn't easy, right?
So I think that you know that'sthat's the one thing that I I
would tell people.
And and not to give up, youknow.
So if you're struggling, don'twait two years and then come in
(32:21):
and be like, well, it hasn'thappened in two years.
I guess it's not going tohappen.
That's what we're here for.
You're here to try to figureout the whys and what do we do
to make it better?
How do we make it happen?
So, hopefully, people havephysicians that they trust and
physicians that they can go tothat will help them and guide
them.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Well, I love you.
I love you too, and thanks forstopping in.
Thanks for being a part of thisseries.
I love you too, and thanks forstopping in.
Thanks for being a part of this.
Um, this series, I just I knowit's.
It's already been veryimpactful for people and the
shares and the engagement it'sjust been incredible.
So I really I'm confident andhopeful that it it lands in the
laps of people who need it.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, I know it's hard.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah, if you're still out there following your girl,
follow me on YouTube, spotify,apple or wherever you get your
podcasts.
And until next time, make sureyou're, you know, taking care of
your stuff down there beforeyou go see your OBGYN.
And keep moving, baby.
I mean, I love you.
If you made it to the end ofthis episode, thank you.
(33:23):
It means more than I can putinto words.
And remember, please tag me onInstagram, shoot me a DM, leave
a comment, drop a review.
I read every single message andyour words remind me why this
work matters.
You can find more resources,ways to connect and everything
I'm building over atkerrycroftcom.
Thank you again for listening,thank you for holding space and
(33:45):
thank you for being part of thisconversation.
And until next time, keepmoving, baby.
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