January 13, 2025 • 31 mins
This new season of the Kicked Can Generations podcast invites you to embark on a profound exploration of the beliefs we were raised with, our trauma/generational trauma and the healing power of self-love. We delve into the courage required to distance ourselves from negative influences and embrace our unique strengths, even amid societal and political chaos.
Have you ever wondered how deeply ingrained beliefs shape your sense of self? Journey with us as we uncover the profound love affair with our authentic selves. Here, we challenge inherited beliefs and embrace self-awareness, learning to set personal boundaries and find joy amid life's challenges. Through meditation, cognitive behavioral strategies, and somatic practices, we aim to retrain our minds and bodies to recognize our emotions and intuition, fostering independence from the need for external validation.
Our adventure doesn't stop there. We invite you to question how cultural and familial influences have molded your worldview. Imagine the life shifts if raised in a different culture, discovering new passions that align with your true self. As we navigate these reflections, keep a "finding joy" list handy for those tough days and remember to be kind to yourself. With support through social media connections, we continue this journey together, seeking inner alignment and understanding the powerful difference between reacting and responding to life's complexities.
KEEP IT PUNK, My Younglings!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello my younglings, my little punks.
It is I, your eccentric AuntieRobin, calling to order the new
Kicked Can Generations podcastinto session for a brand new
fucking year.
I'm just going to call this anew season.
So season two, episode one,starts fucking now.
Just want to check in with youafter a long and probably
(00:27):
awkward as fuck Christmasholiday with family and friends.
So did you get to observe yourfamily dynamics and possibly
find out some of yourgenerational traumas, past
history, so that way we knowwhat generational traumas we
need to heal?
If not, that's okay, you canalways do it the next time you
visit.
(00:48):
I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm a little scared to kind ofstart this journey with you, for
there is no going back once youstart, because this, my friend,
is the hero's journey thatwe're starting.
I have been through thisjourney of discovery myself and
I will tell you it is not aneasy path.
But I told myself at thebeginning of the journey you're
(01:10):
fucking miserable as hell now,living all in your head.
Let's try and do this throughyour heart and your body instead
and see how that works.
And if I'm being honest here,it's given me more peace,
satisfaction with a little sideof frustration, if I'm being
honest, and that's because I hadno one to talk to to help me
(01:32):
figure this out and I felt likeI was a fucking freakish, odd
pioneer.
But now we have each other.
But we're going to have todiscover more things about
yourself than you ever knewthere was.
You are going to discover yourgifts, your abilities and the
strength within yourself that isunique to you, even if others
(01:58):
have it.
Everyone is different and addtheir own spice or variety to it
.
There's going to be a lot oftimes you will need to isolate
from others, just so you canfeel your own energy and
thoughts, free from any outsideinfluences.
You may have to lose friends orfamily members who do not have
your best intentions at heart.
(02:18):
You are also going to getfrustrated at yourself or your
life circumstances, but you haveto learn how to show yourself
some grace and be easier onyourself.
The main thing you will learnis the most important thing of
all is loving and knowingyourself to the point in which
(02:40):
there is nothing and no one willever have control over you.
And that, my little punks, istrue power, and this is where we
need to stand right now, in ourpower.
I know January 20th Trump willbe sworn into office, but let's
be honest here.
If we compare his last term inoffice, the first year is not
(03:03):
going to really accomplish toomuch.
Plus, we currently already haveall this infighting right now
and just in the Republican Partyalone, and this hasn't even
officially kicked off yet.
So I think we've got a year todo this.
So let us commit to working onourselves this year and really
dig deep into finding who we areauthentically and let us find
(03:26):
our inner peace and what westand for and what we want in
our lives, so that we no longercan be influenced and used by
others.
During this last election season, I saw so many of my Gen Xers,
millennials, gen Z, gen Alphahaving their anger at the
situations of the world that wedidn't create, used against us
(03:49):
in order for these people togain political power.
But they only have the power ofthe political structure.
They have to force theirpolicies through, which is
another reason why I'm notreally worried about the trump
administration and Project 2025completely getting through.
Some of the policies may, butonce again, this is something
(04:10):
that we can change at a laterdate.
They can only use force to getthis stuff through because not
everybody in this country orpolitically agree with what they
want to do.
So if you know anything aboutscience, force automatically has
counterforce to deal with andwill polarize instead of unifies
(04:32):
.
So little side note.
This is why they want us, thepeople, to be polarized, and how
they are doing it.
It takes a shit ton of energyto force something into
existence, especially when theenergy that you are using is
that of anger, which is whatthey want you to be angry, that
(04:54):
is the fuel to their fire.
My younglings, during this pastelection cycle, I saw you
struggle as two politicalparties tried to polarize all of
us, and I feel as if the adultsin the room have let us down
time and time again, even thoughI'm one of those, because this
(05:15):
all started way back when Gen Xwas kids, and for that I'm truly
sorry.
I'm sorry that our parentsdidn't teach us how to love
ourselves and how to process ourfeelings and when things come
up and how to let them go.
We old fogies here, we did ahuge disservice to you in life
(05:36):
and I'm here to make amends.
When I went home for theholidays, this amazing clip of
Viola Davis came across mysocial feed talking about how
she taught her daughter aboutloving herself.
I bawled my fucking eyes outwhen I heard what she said to
her daughter and I realized thisis why I'm doing this, because
(05:59):
if somebody would have told methat when I was a kid, I think
of how much heartache would havebeen saved by just saying this,
because this ought to be taughtto every fucking human being on
the goddamn planet.
It's one of the most radicalideas that I can share with you.
(06:19):
Viola said her daughter's name,but I want you to say your name
out loud here.
So, and I quote so say yourname.
Say your name.
You are the love of your life.
You need to have a radical loveaffair with yourself, be in
(06:40):
touch with that inner voice Tobe aware, when friendships come
in and out of your life, whatyou like, what you don't like,
what is crossing your boundaries, what is making you feel bad or
what not feel bad, and youhonor that, and through that is
(07:02):
where the seeds grow.
No one ever told me that.
No one ever told me that.
No one ever told me that I wasthe love of my life.
I just counted myself out If Ihad to make myself small to
build up a relationship, or if Ihad to sacrifice my needs for
others and this is a tough one,especially for women.
Don't do that.
You are the love of your life.
(07:24):
The greatest love affair thatyou will ever know is when you
love yourself.
Damn Viola Davis, can you be mymom?
Because that knowledge hitshard when you think about that.
What would you have been likeif somebody told you that as a
(07:45):
child?
So let's get back on focusing onthe individuals and let's look
at our beliefs and ideologiesthat have been passed down to us
through the ages and see whatthose actually we still believe
in, and get rid of the ones thatwe don't believe in because
they don't align with what we,who we are right now, which is
(08:09):
what we're going to do today, aswell as we're also going to see
what rejuvenates our energy,what makes us happy, what do we
like to do that fills our cup.
Because we sure as hell aregoing to have to remember that
and keep coming back to it,especially when things get dark,
because the revolution is amarathon, it's not a sprint, and
(08:34):
if we know who we are, we willstand in our power.
And you want to know somethingand you want to know something.
True power is unmovable.
It is an ever-fixed mark thatlooks on tempests.
Okay, I'm taking Shakespeare alittle out of context there, but
(08:55):
damn, he really had a way withwords.
So January 20th, when thetempest lands, let's create and
stand in our own power.
Punks, that is my calling toyou.
Okay, so each episode from hereon out, we're going to be
discussing how to figure out whowe are at our core.
(09:18):
We're going to peel back thelayers.
We are going to discover theooey gooey center that is the
Tootsie Pop that we call oursoul.
We are going to combinepsychology, cognitive behavior,
some meditation.
Trust me, I keep them shortbecause life gets chaotic and
sometimes you only have five orten minutes.
(09:39):
I can spare five minutes.
We're going to smother in asprinkling of eastern energy
systems from the chakras and themeridian energetics, from
acupuncture and the Hindu faith,as well as other religions,
including Christianity.
We're also going to combinesome somatic exercises for our
bodies, some breathing exercises, and by combining all this,
(10:03):
we're going to help you find outwho you are at your core.
We're going to help you findyour calm and learn how to
center yourself in peace.
Then we will evolve, once we getrid of the things and beliefs
we don't want to believe, so wecan create something new and
plant our own seeds for thefuture, because that's what
(10:26):
we're dealing with right now.
These are the seeds ourprevious generations have
planted.
They're not our ideals, ourprinciples.
So let's plant some new seedsand choke this bullshit out,
because they're up in their 60sand 70s and 80s.
They're getting tired.
(10:47):
They can't sustain the amountof energy that it is need to
force this into existence.
Plus, there's also going to be,unfortunately, a lot of
repetition in this healing work.
I know boring, but we also haveto retrain our brain as well as
we have to retrain our overlyactive nervous system.
(11:08):
Who's had to rely on us usingour logic when logic doesn't
always solve everything likethey say it does?
It depends on how old you are.
It could possibly take a while.
I'm over 50 and somehow I'vemanaged to do this in like a
year and a half, and I have ashit ton of mental health issues
(11:29):
passed down from genetics, likeADHD, depression, anxiety,
autism and other shit ton ofunhealthy coping mechanisms that
I've learned over the years tokeep me safe and surviving in
unhealthy environments.
And now we have to unlearn allof that and if I'm being honest
(11:50):
with you, it's gonna take a lotof repetition to convince your
brain of this.
We're also gonna have to learnhow to feel things in our bodies
, because our bodies will getthe signal first, before our
brain reacts to the emotion.
So if you can recognize yourfeelings and emotions in your
body first, so you can addressthose feelings and emotions
(12:13):
before it imprints on your brain, this is a useful technique
that I just learned.
Once I cleared out all my humanbullshit that has been ingrained
in my brain since I startedbelieving the bullshit that the
world was trying to sell, I wasable to finally hear a little
whisper in my head, which youwill know is your intuition.
(12:36):
Little whisper in my head,which you will know is your
intuition.
And from there I've been ableto speak and hear my ancestors,
my spirit guides and a littleside notes here your ancestors
and spirit guides can alwayshear you, so feel free to ask
them anything.
It's only until you clear outyour human bullshit in your head
(12:56):
, aka the programming, thelimited self-beliefs that are
stuck in there, that the worldwants you to believe.
Until you can accomplish that,you won't be able to hear them,
and then, when they do speak, itis no joke, a whisper.
So you really have to listen toyourself.
(13:19):
This is where we will discoverwho we are, and I'm going to
teach you how to stand in yourpower and not need validation
from others outside of yourself,and how to behave in a way that
has a lot of power behind it touse it in a good and effective
manner.
So let's ask ourselves somequestions.
(13:41):
I do have these as a Worddocument on our social media if
you want to print them out foryourself.
I was hoping to make it lookall artsy and cool but, to be
honest with you, I ran the fuckout of time.
So that may change later onwhen I get a second chance to
embrace my creative, punk-assself again.
(14:02):
But this is where we startdiscovering who you are at your
core, not who you were taught tobe over the years.
So we're going to look at whereyou grew up, what you learned
from your friends, your family,school work.
We're also going to take a lookat religious practices.
Remember, do not place anyjudgments or negativity or
(14:28):
blaming anyone here.
This is not the purpose.
The purpose is pure discoveryof these beliefs throughout our
lives.
You are who you are because ofthe positive and negative
experiences in your life.
That is what makes you uniquelyyou.
We are here for experiences inour lives so we can learn and
(14:53):
grow, and when your core beliefsalign, this is going to bring
you so much more joy, so muchmore happiness.
Sometimes you will discoversomething that speaks to you at
your core that you didn't evenknow you liked.
For example, say, you grew upplaying sports as a kid, but
then as an adult, you took anart class and you discover you
(15:17):
ended up loving it.
You can add that to your corebeliefs.
These questions are to see howmuch of it matches and what
doesn't match with you, who youare.
Plus, also be open to thepossibilities that there are
other traditions, religions,beliefs that may speak to you
(15:37):
now than when you did when youwere growing up.
So are you ready to meet yourauthentic self?
And also, if you're having ahard time filling out these
questions and you have siblingsthat are close to your age, ask
them for some help.
If you're having a hard timeremembering, ask them for some
help.
If you're having a hard timeremembering, that's okay.
That can happen, especially ifyour childhood had more
(16:00):
complications than it shouldhave, because, oh, the trauma,
trauma is real.
It's just your brain's way oftrying to protect you and keep
you safe.
Believe me, the other side ofthis is much brighter and
lighter.
So shall we begin?
I'm going to go through thesequestions and, like I said,
(16:22):
these will be posted on socialfor you.
So if you wanted to print themout, feel free, but I'm just
going to kind of go throughthese questions and fill them
out at your own time.
Okay, first question is whatpart of the world were you
raised?
Because, as a kid growing up inthe U?
S, it's going to be a littledifferent than somebody raised
(16:43):
in Africa, india, china, theSoviet union, south America,
canada.
These are all different ways ofbeing raised and living.
They're different.
What kind of culture base wereyou raised in there?
Example, did you haveculturally rooted customs or
behaviors or values you learnedfrom growing up in that area?
(17:04):
Was there like a code ofmanners, certain ways to dress,
language, religion, any ritualsor art or how you play in that
area of the world?
Are there certain norms ofbehavior that you were raised
with?
Were there laws of morality, asystem of beliefs that in that
(17:29):
area that you had.
This is really to focus in onwhere you grew up and what
beliefs were in that surroundingarea.
So in this I want you toinclude from your friends.
Also, I want you to includewhat you learned from your
family and also what schooltaught you.
(17:51):
I grew up in a lake town inrural Iowa with about 2,000
people, so I had a healthyrespect for nature because we
would go fishing at the lake.
Hunting was also big.
I attended church on Sundaysand Thursday evenings for Awana
and if you know Awana, you knowI was taught I needed to respect
my elders repeatedly told this,but that one never stuck for me
(18:15):
.
I respected the people whosewords, actions and deeds matched
up.
There were not a lot of thosepeople in my life, which is one
of the reasons why church andChristianity never spoke to me.
Those are just a few examples.
And also don't forget toinclude, like what you learned
from your friends, which Ilearned compassion, love and
(18:38):
play and fun from your family,respecting your elders and from,
like school.
You need to know your historyor you're doomed to repeat it.
Sadly, not everyone on thisplanet is here to grow and
develop, which is why it itrepeats, and after 2020 and
COVID, it kind of proved that.
(19:01):
But the next question is whattraditions do you agree with
that you were raised in?
This generally is somethingthat's inherited, established or
a customary pattern of thought,action or behavior.
Sadly, my family really isn'tinto traditions per se, except
for the holidays, and mostlythat involved an obscene amount
(19:24):
of food, and on birthdays theone whose birthday it was got to
pick out their special birthdaydinner and what type of cake
they wanted we would just set upthe Christmas tree the day
after Thanksgiving.
So what are your traditions?
What traditions do you notagree with?
What ideals or values were youraised with that you like this
(19:51):
could be charity work.
Did the teamwork make the dreamwork Leading by example?
What kind of work ethic or whatkind of standard value do you
appreciate?
This to me seems like it'salways like a lot of little
sayings.
Like teamwork makes the dreamwork, leading by example.
Don't cry wolf when somethinghappens, because then people
(20:14):
won't believe you.
Good words, good deeds, goodactions, good life what are
yours?
Our next question is whatideals or values were you raised
in that you don't agree with?
Example respect your elders wasa huge one.
For me, this always depended onthe elder that I respected or
(20:39):
didn't respect.
Hard work always pays off.
It doesn't.
It just gets you burnt out andnot able to enjoy your life, or
at least that's what I found outthrough my experiences.
And that may not be for you.
You get to decide these things,so what are yours?
Next question is how would yourlife be different if you were
(21:04):
raised in a different country,or you were raised by a
different family?
What would they expect from you?
What would you?
Be limited by?
Use your imagination with thisone.
Go wild.
What is a food, hobby or pastimethat you discovered you love
that was not introduced by yourfamily?
(21:26):
An example for me is when Imoved to Chicago.
I was able to all of a suddentry these different kinds of
foods from so many differentcultures, and I really
discovered that I lovedEthiopian food.
I also learned in Chicago howto do strength training.
Doing CrossFit, I learned howto do a pull-up.
(21:47):
Finally.
Now, granted, I did need a bandto assist me, but I didn't even
know that that was an option asa kid.
You just had to do that foryour presidential fitness test,
and I never could.
It blew my mind when I realizedoh, you can train yourself to
do that.
That was something I neverrealized as a kid, because no
(22:10):
adult ever told me that you canactually work on that and be
better at it and know how to dothat.
What are yours?
Are there any traditions orvalues that speak to you, but
kind of conflict with how youwere raised?
This one was huge for mebecause I grew up in the church
(22:34):
but I also had a spirit guide asa kid who was a fairy named Pix
.
I also would talk about my pastlife as a kid and immediately
got told I shouldn't say thingslike that or they'll lock me
away in a loony bin.
And back in the 70s and 80s Itook that as a threat so I
stopped talking about it.
It's only now that I realized Ionly perceived that as a threat
(23:00):
.
It didn't mean that they wereactually going to go through
with it, but as a kid I didn'tknow that.
So basically everything I amnow, I'm embracing my gifts of
intuition, I'm learningwitchcraft and how to heal my
past wounds.
(23:21):
So what are some of yourconflicts, my punks?
Have you found a way toincorporate some of those
traditions and those values inyour life while still keeping a
good balance with your family?
And if yes, how did you do that?
And if no, then what are someof the ways that you can bring
that balance to those traditionsand values that resonate deeply
(23:45):
within you?
Sadly, my answer to thisquestion was I don't want to
talk to them about it becausethey don't agree with it.
I'm a grown ass adult and I cando what I want.
I don't need their acceptanceon that, and that is a valid
answer.
But do try to come up withsomething, is all I'm asking.
(24:07):
Well, isn't that convenient aswe head into our discussion on
religion?
What religion were you raised inor not raised in?
Are there any superstitions youwere told about your religion?
What are some of the spiritualrewards or blessings that were
(24:29):
explained to you about yourreligion?
What are some of thepunishments that were explained
to you about your religion?
Are there other religions thatkind of piqued your interest
growing up or made you feel goodor you were curious about?
What was it that interested youabout them?
About what was it thatinterested you about them?
(24:53):
What aspects of other religionsreally fit or resonate with you
?
Now, this next question is justfor fun.
It's not open invitation hereto become your own cult leader.
Okay, but if you created yourown religion, what would you
include?
Are there other parts of otherreligions that would show up?
What are your beliefs, anyrituals, ceremonies, laws, sins,
(25:21):
philosophies that you wouldinclude?
This is just a way for you tofind out some of your other core
beliefs.
So dig in deep with us, mypunks, and really answer the
question honestly.
It's a lot, but the more youfill out, the more you'll become
self-aware.
(25:42):
Now, self-awareness can bring inpersonal accountability and
with personal accountability,can often bring shame with it,
sadly.
Now, to combat the shame, youneed to have a buttload of
compassion for yourself, andthis is hard.
Starting out and also obsessingover the way that we are, the
(26:05):
negative things that weexperienced in our life.
It's just us finding evidencethat somehow we are broken or we
need to be fixed somehow, whenthat is far from the actual
truth.
You just need more support inyour life, more compassion, and
(26:27):
you can get that from yourselfanytime, day or night.
Sometimes I have to take in afew deep breaths and remind
myself hey, you're safe, you'restill here.
All those things that happeneddidn't break you.
You were stronger than youthink my punks, and you got this
(26:48):
, and you have to give yourselfa goddamn hug.
Then, give yourself a goddamnhug.
Remember, you got to loveyourself first and foremost.
Now the other important part ofthis equation is how do we make
ourselves happy?
What fills our cup, if you will, what feeds your soul?
(27:17):
You may want to keep this listat work or on your fridge at
home, or even on your phone,because, if you need to pick me
up, pull out this list, becausethe world likes to deplete us,
because the world likes todeplete us, our family, our jobs
, just life.
And during the next four years,this is something you need to
do daily, and I do mean everyday for yourself.
(27:39):
Pick one of these, even if it'sjust putting on your favorite
song and dancing around youroffice like a teenager at the
club.
Give yourself that permissionto be silly and to have fun.
You're an adult, after all.
You can bust a move if you wantto.
The only person who is stoppingyou is you, okay, so let's get
(28:04):
into those questions, all right.
What cultural experiences fromwhere you lived filled your cup?
Are there like certain familyrelationships or friendships or
interactions that you love?
What social relationships doyou have that make you feel
(28:26):
amazing?
Are there any time managementstructures that make you happy?
What physical activities do youenjoy?
Are there any personal patternsyou love doing?
If you need an example, Ipersonally love doing this.
I give myself 30 minutes of bed, rotting with my cat.
(28:48):
In the morning, I write in myjournal and I always end up
asking myself what do I want tofeel that day?
What kind of personal livingenvironment do you love?
Are there any mental activitiesthat fill you up?
What stimulates that mind ofyours?
Are there any spiritualpractices that feed your soul?
(29:11):
What personal health choices doyou enjoy?
Even if it's just doing thesethings for five minutes or
making a choice each day to doone thing just for you, makes
life so much more enjoyable.
It doesn't have to be a hugecommitment here.
Even if it's just a shitty dayat work and you have to put that
(29:33):
one dance party song on there,then do it for yourself.
I sometimes do a five-minutedrawing that never gets
completed hardly ever.
It's not perfect.
It's also because of that.
It's helping me decrease myneed for perfectionism and
trying to be perfect all thetime.
It's going to get you out ofyour head and into your body and
(29:57):
the world just kind of slipsaway, even for just that moment.
But wow, what a great moment.
So now you're probably askingyourself great, what do I do
with all this?
Take a look at your list andask yourself what is it that I
want to keep Because it reallydoes speak to me, and what is it
(30:22):
that I need to let go ofBecause it never spoke to me?
And then start making sure youractions and your words follow
that belief and remember to keepa copy of your finding joy list
, either at work or on yourphone, or at your fridge at home
.
If you're having a bad day,take some time for yourself and
do one just for you.
(30:42):
I love and adore you, my littlepunks.
Like I said, these questionswill be on our social media, on
Blue Sky and Facebook, and lateron it'll be on Insta, but that
one might take me a little bitlonger, so bear with me as I
figure all this out.
Plus, you may want to keep anotebook or a journal with all
(31:04):
this in so you can referencethese things as it comes up Now.
Next episode all this in so youcan reference these things as
it comes up Now.
Next episode we're going totalk about how and when we
assume it makes an ass out ofyou and me, how we take things
way too personally, how we oftenmisinterpret things, and also
(31:26):
we're going to see how we reactto situations.
Or are we responding tosituations?
Because those, my friends, aretwo separate things.
You totally kicked ass my punks.
And remember to be kind toothers, but also be kind to
yourself, and I will see younext time.
(31:48):
So keep it real and keep itpunk.
Hello my younglings, my little punks.
It is I, your eccentric AuntieRobin, calling to order the new
Kicked Can Generations podcastinto session for a brand new
fucking year.
I'm just going to call this anew season.
So season two, episode one,starts fucking now.
Just want to check in with youafter a long and probably
(00:27):
awkward as fuck Christmasholiday with family and friends.
So did you get to observe yourfamily dynamics and possibly
find out some of yourgenerational traumas, past
history, so that way we knowwhat generational traumas we
need to heal?
If not, that's okay, you canalways do it the next time you
visit.
(00:48):
I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm a little scared to kind ofstart this journey with you, for
there is no going back once youstart, because this, my friend,
is the hero's journey thatwe're starting.
I have been through thisjourney of discovery myself and
I will tell you it is not aneasy path.
But I told myself at thebeginning of the journey you're
(01:10):
fucking miserable as hell now,living all in your head.
Let's try and do this throughyour heart and your body instead
and see how that works.
And if I'm being honest here,it's given me more peace,
satisfaction with a little sideof frustration, if I'm being
honest, and that's because I hadno one to talk to to help me
(01:32):
figure this out and I felt likeI was a fucking freakish, odd
pioneer.
But now we have each other.
But we're going to have todiscover more things about
yourself than you ever knewthere was.
You are going to discover yourgifts, your abilities and the
strength within yourself that isunique to you, even if others
(01:58):
have it.
Everyone is different and addtheir own spice or variety to it
.
There's going to be a lot oftimes you will need to isolate
from others, just so you canfeel your own energy and
thoughts, free from any outsideinfluences.
You may have to lose friends orfamily members who do not have
your best intentions at heart.
(02:18):
You are also going to getfrustrated at yourself or your
life circumstances, but you haveto learn how to show yourself
some grace and be easier onyourself.
The main thing you will learnis the most important thing of
all is loving and knowingyourself to the point in which
(02:40):
there is nothing and no one willever have control over you.
And that, my little punks, istrue power, and this is where we
need to stand right now, in ourpower.
I know January 20th Trump willbe sworn into office, but let's
be honest here.
If we compare his last term inoffice, the first year is not
(03:03):
going to really accomplish toomuch.
Plus, we currently already haveall this infighting right now
and just in the Republican Partyalone, and this hasn't even
officially kicked off yet.
So I think we've got a year todo this.
So let us commit to working onourselves this year and really
dig deep into finding who we areauthentically and let us find
(03:26):
our inner peace and what westand for and what we want in
our lives, so that we no longercan be influenced and used by
others.
During this last election season, I saw so many of my Gen Xers,
millennials, gen Z, gen Alphahaving their anger at the
situations of the world that wedidn't create, used against us
(03:49):
in order for these people togain political power.
But they only have the power ofthe political structure.
They have to force theirpolicies through, which is
another reason why I'm notreally worried about the trump
administration and Project 2025completely getting through.
Some of the policies may, butonce again, this is something
(04:10):
that we can change at a laterdate.
They can only use force to getthis stuff through because not
everybody in this country orpolitically agree with what they
want to do.
So if you know anything aboutscience, force automatically has
counterforce to deal with andwill polarize instead of unifies
(04:32):
.
So little side note.
This is why they want us, thepeople, to be polarized, and how
they are doing it.
It takes a shit ton of energyto force something into
existence, especially when theenergy that you are using is
that of anger, which is whatthey want you to be angry, that
(04:54):
is the fuel to their fire.
My younglings, during this pastelection cycle, I saw you
struggle as two politicalparties tried to polarize all of
us, and I feel as if the adultsin the room have let us down
time and time again, even thoughI'm one of those, because this
(05:15):
all started way back when Gen Xwas kids, and for that I'm truly
sorry.
I'm sorry that our parentsdidn't teach us how to love
ourselves and how to process ourfeelings and when things come
up and how to let them go.
We old fogies here, we did ahuge disservice to you in life
(05:36):
and I'm here to make amends.
When I went home for theholidays, this amazing clip of
Viola Davis came across mysocial feed talking about how
she taught her daughter aboutloving herself.
I bawled my fucking eyes outwhen I heard what she said to
her daughter and I realized thisis why I'm doing this, because
(05:59):
if somebody would have told methat when I was a kid, I think
of how much heartache would havebeen saved by just saying this,
because this ought to be taughtto every fucking human being on
the goddamn planet.
It's one of the most radicalideas that I can share with you.
(06:19):
Viola said her daughter's name,but I want you to say your name
out loud here.
So, and I quote so say yourname.
Say your name.
You are the love of your life.
You need to have a radical loveaffair with yourself, be in
(06:40):
touch with that inner voice Tobe aware, when friendships come
in and out of your life, whatyou like, what you don't like,
what is crossing your boundaries, what is making you feel bad or
what not feel bad, and youhonor that, and through that is
(07:02):
where the seeds grow.
No one ever told me that.
No one ever told me that.
No one ever told me that I wasthe love of my life.
I just counted myself out If Ihad to make myself small to
build up a relationship, or if Ihad to sacrifice my needs for
others and this is a tough one,especially for women.
Don't do that.
You are the love of your life.
(07:24):
The greatest love affair thatyou will ever know is when you
love yourself.
Damn Viola Davis, can you be mymom?
Because that knowledge hitshard when you think about that.
What would you have been likeif somebody told you that as a
(07:45):
child?
So let's get back on focusing onthe individuals and let's look
at our beliefs and ideologiesthat have been passed down to us
through the ages and see whatthose actually we still believe
in, and get rid of the ones thatwe don't believe in because
they don't align with what we,who we are right now, which is
(08:09):
what we're going to do today, aswell as we're also going to see
what rejuvenates our energy,what makes us happy, what do we
like to do that fills our cup.
Because we sure as hell aregoing to have to remember that
and keep coming back to it,especially when things get dark,
because the revolution is amarathon, it's not a sprint, and
(08:34):
if we know who we are, we willstand in our power.
And you want to know somethingand you want to know something.
True power is unmovable.
It is an ever-fixed mark thatlooks on tempests.
Okay, I'm taking Shakespeare alittle out of context there, but
(08:55):
damn, he really had a way withwords.
So January 20th, when thetempest lands, let's create and
stand in our own power.
Punks, that is my calling toyou.
Okay, so each episode from hereon out, we're going to be
discussing how to figure out whowe are at our core.
(09:18):
We're going to peel back thelayers.
We are going to discover theooey gooey center that is the
Tootsie Pop that we call oursoul.
We are going to combinepsychology, cognitive behavior,
some meditation.
Trust me, I keep them shortbecause life gets chaotic and
sometimes you only have five orten minutes.
(09:39):
I can spare five minutes.
We're going to smother in asprinkling of eastern energy
systems from the chakras and themeridian energetics, from
acupuncture and the Hindu faith,as well as other religions,
including Christianity.
We're also going to combinesome somatic exercises for our
bodies, some breathing exercises, and by combining all this,
(10:03):
we're going to help you find outwho you are at your core.
We're going to help you findyour calm and learn how to
center yourself in peace.
Then we will evolve, once we getrid of the things and beliefs
we don't want to believe, so wecan create something new and
plant our own seeds for thefuture, because that's what
(10:26):
we're dealing with right now.
These are the seeds ourprevious generations have
planted.
They're not our ideals, ourprinciples.
So let's plant some new seedsand choke this bullshit out,
because they're up in their 60sand 70s and 80s.
They're getting tired.
(10:47):
They can't sustain the amountof energy that it is need to
force this into existence.
Plus, there's also going to be,unfortunately, a lot of
repetition in this healing work.
I know boring, but we also haveto retrain our brain as well as
we have to retrain our overlyactive nervous system.
(11:08):
Who's had to rely on us usingour logic when logic doesn't
always solve everything likethey say it does?
It depends on how old you are.
It could possibly take a while.
I'm over 50 and somehow I'vemanaged to do this in like a
year and a half, and I have ashit ton of mental health issues
(11:29):
passed down from genetics, likeADHD, depression, anxiety,
autism and other shit ton ofunhealthy coping mechanisms that
I've learned over the years tokeep me safe and surviving in
unhealthy environments.
And now we have to unlearn allof that and if I'm being honest
(11:50):
with you, it's gonna take a lotof repetition to convince your
brain of this.
We're also gonna have to learnhow to feel things in our bodies
, because our bodies will getthe signal first, before our
brain reacts to the emotion.
So if you can recognize yourfeelings and emotions in your
body first, so you can addressthose feelings and emotions
(12:13):
before it imprints on your brain, this is a useful technique
that I just learned.
Once I cleared out all my humanbullshit that has been ingrained
in my brain since I startedbelieving the bullshit that the
world was trying to sell, I wasable to finally hear a little
whisper in my head, which youwill know is your intuition.
(12:36):
Little whisper in my head,which you will know is your
intuition.
And from there I've been ableto speak and hear my ancestors,
my spirit guides and a littleside notes here your ancestors
and spirit guides can alwayshear you, so feel free to ask
them anything.
It's only until you clear outyour human bullshit in your head
(12:56):
, aka the programming, thelimited self-beliefs that are
stuck in there, that the worldwants you to believe.
Until you can accomplish that,you won't be able to hear them,
and then, when they do speak, itis no joke, a whisper.
So you really have to listen toyourself.
(13:19):
This is where we will discoverwho we are, and I'm going to
teach you how to stand in yourpower and not need validation
from others outside of yourself,and how to behave in a way that
has a lot of power behind it touse it in a good and effective
manner.
So let's ask ourselves somequestions.
(13:41):
I do have these as a Worddocument on our social media if
you want to print them out foryourself.
I was hoping to make it lookall artsy and cool but, to be
honest with you, I ran the fuckout of time.
So that may change later onwhen I get a second chance to
embrace my creative, punk-assself again.
(14:02):
But this is where we startdiscovering who you are at your
core, not who you were taught tobe over the years.
So we're going to look at whereyou grew up, what you learned
from your friends, your family,school work.
We're also going to take a lookat religious practices.
Remember, do not place anyjudgments or negativity or
(14:28):
blaming anyone here.
This is not the purpose.
The purpose is pure discoveryof these beliefs throughout our
lives.
You are who you are because ofthe positive and negative
experiences in your life.
That is what makes you uniquelyyou.
We are here for experiences inour lives so we can learn and
(14:53):
grow, and when your core beliefsalign, this is going to bring
you so much more joy, so muchmore happiness.
Sometimes you will discoversomething that speaks to you at
your core that you didn't evenknow you liked.
For example, say, you grew upplaying sports as a kid, but
then as an adult, you took anart class and you discover you
(15:17):
ended up loving it.
You can add that to your corebeliefs.
These questions are to see howmuch of it matches and what
doesn't match with you, who youare.
Plus, also be open to thepossibilities that there are
other traditions, religions,beliefs that may speak to you
(15:37):
now than when you did when youwere growing up.
So are you ready to meet yourauthentic self?
And also, if you're having ahard time filling out these
questions and you have siblingsthat are close to your age, ask
them for some help.
If you're having a hard timeremembering, ask them for some
help.
If you're having a hard timeremembering, that's okay.
That can happen, especially ifyour childhood had more
(16:00):
complications than it shouldhave, because, oh, the trauma,
trauma is real.
It's just your brain's way oftrying to protect you and keep
you safe.
Believe me, the other side ofthis is much brighter and
lighter.
So shall we begin?
I'm going to go through thesequestions and, like I said,
(16:22):
these will be posted on socialfor you.
So if you wanted to print themout, feel free, but I'm just
going to kind of go throughthese questions and fill them
out at your own time.
Okay, first question is whatpart of the world were you
raised?
Because, as a kid growing up inthe U?
S, it's going to be a littledifferent than somebody raised
(16:43):
in Africa, india, china, theSoviet union, south America,
canada.
These are all different ways ofbeing raised and living.
They're different.
What kind of culture base wereyou raised in there?
Example, did you haveculturally rooted customs or
behaviors or values you learnedfrom growing up in that area?
(17:04):
Was there like a code ofmanners, certain ways to dress,
language, religion, any ritualsor art or how you play in that
area of the world?
Are there certain norms ofbehavior that you were raised
with?
Were there laws of morality, asystem of beliefs that in that
(17:29):
area that you had.
This is really to focus in onwhere you grew up and what
beliefs were in that surroundingarea.
So in this I want you toinclude from your friends.
Also, I want you to includewhat you learned from your
family and also what schooltaught you.
(17:51):
I grew up in a lake town inrural Iowa with about 2,000
people, so I had a healthyrespect for nature because we
would go fishing at the lake.
Hunting was also big.
I attended church on Sundaysand Thursday evenings for Awana
and if you know Awana, you knowI was taught I needed to respect
my elders repeatedly told this,but that one never stuck for me
(18:15):
.
I respected the people whosewords, actions and deeds matched
up.
There were not a lot of thosepeople in my life, which is one
of the reasons why church andChristianity never spoke to me.
Those are just a few examples.
And also don't forget toinclude, like what you learned
from your friends, which Ilearned compassion, love and
(18:38):
play and fun from your family,respecting your elders and from,
like school.
You need to know your historyor you're doomed to repeat it.
Sadly, not everyone on thisplanet is here to grow and
develop, which is why it itrepeats, and after 2020 and
COVID, it kind of proved that.
(19:01):
But the next question is whattraditions do you agree with
that you were raised in?
This generally is somethingthat's inherited, established or
a customary pattern of thought,action or behavior.
Sadly, my family really isn'tinto traditions per se, except
for the holidays, and mostlythat involved an obscene amount
(19:24):
of food, and on birthdays theone whose birthday it was got to
pick out their special birthdaydinner and what type of cake
they wanted we would just set upthe Christmas tree the day
after Thanksgiving.
So what are your traditions?
What traditions do you notagree with?
What ideals or values were youraised with that you like this
(19:51):
could be charity work.
Did the teamwork make the dreamwork Leading by example?
What kind of work ethic or whatkind of standard value do you
appreciate?
This to me seems like it'salways like a lot of little
sayings.
Like teamwork makes the dreamwork, leading by example.
Don't cry wolf when somethinghappens, because then people
(20:14):
won't believe you.
Good words, good deeds, goodactions, good life what are
yours?
Our next question is whatideals or values were you raised
in that you don't agree with?
Example respect your elders wasa huge one.
For me, this always depended onthe elder that I respected or
(20:39):
didn't respect.
Hard work always pays off.
It doesn't.
It just gets you burnt out andnot able to enjoy your life, or
at least that's what I found outthrough my experiences.
And that may not be for you.
You get to decide these things,so what are yours?
Next question is how would yourlife be different if you were
(21:04):
raised in a different country,or you were raised by a
different family?
What would they expect from you?
What would you?
Be limited by?
Use your imagination with thisone.
Go wild.
What is a food, hobby or pastimethat you discovered you love
that was not introduced by yourfamily?
(21:26):
An example for me is when Imoved to Chicago.
I was able to all of a suddentry these different kinds of
foods from so many differentcultures, and I really
discovered that I lovedEthiopian food.
I also learned in Chicago howto do strength training.
Doing CrossFit, I learned howto do a pull-up.
(21:47):
Finally.
Now, granted, I did need a bandto assist me, but I didn't even
know that that was an option asa kid.
You just had to do that foryour presidential fitness test,
and I never could.
It blew my mind when I realizedoh, you can train yourself to
do that.
That was something I neverrealized as a kid, because no
(22:10):
adult ever told me that you canactually work on that and be
better at it and know how to dothat.
What are yours?
Are there any traditions orvalues that speak to you, but
kind of conflict with how youwere raised?
This one was huge for mebecause I grew up in the church
(22:34):
but I also had a spirit guide asa kid who was a fairy named Pix
.
I also would talk about my pastlife as a kid and immediately
got told I shouldn't say thingslike that or they'll lock me
away in a loony bin.
And back in the 70s and 80s Itook that as a threat so I
stopped talking about it.
It's only now that I realized Ionly perceived that as a threat
(23:00):
.
It didn't mean that they wereactually going to go through
with it, but as a kid I didn'tknow that.
So basically everything I amnow, I'm embracing my gifts of
intuition, I'm learningwitchcraft and how to heal my
past wounds.
(23:21):
So what are some of yourconflicts, my punks?
Have you found a way toincorporate some of those
traditions and those values inyour life while still keeping a
good balance with your family?
And if yes, how did you do that?
And if no, then what are someof the ways that you can bring
that balance to those traditionsand values that resonate deeply
(23:45):
within you?
Sadly, my answer to thisquestion was I don't want to
talk to them about it becausethey don't agree with it.
I'm a grown ass adult and I cando what I want.
I don't need their acceptanceon that, and that is a valid
answer.
But do try to come up withsomething, is all I'm asking.
(24:07):
Well, isn't that convenient aswe head into our discussion on
religion?
What religion were you raised inor not raised in?
Are there any superstitions youwere told about your religion?
What are some of the spiritualrewards or blessings that were
(24:29):
explained to you about yourreligion?
What are some of thepunishments that were explained
to you about your religion?
Are there other religions thatkind of piqued your interest
growing up or made you feel goodor you were curious about?
What was it that interested youabout them?
About what was it thatinterested you about them?
(24:53):
What aspects of other religionsreally fit or resonate with you
?
Now, this next question is justfor fun.
It's not open invitation hereto become your own cult leader.
Okay, but if you created yourown religion, what would you
include?
Are there other parts of otherreligions that would show up?
What are your beliefs, anyrituals, ceremonies, laws, sins,
(25:21):
philosophies that you wouldinclude?
This is just a way for you tofind out some of your other core
beliefs.
So dig in deep with us, mypunks, and really answer the
question honestly.
It's a lot, but the more youfill out, the more you'll become
self-aware.
(25:42):
Now, self-awareness can bring inpersonal accountability and
with personal accountability,can often bring shame with it,
sadly.
Now, to combat the shame, youneed to have a buttload of
compassion for yourself, andthis is hard.
Starting out and also obsessingover the way that we are, the
(26:05):
negative things that weexperienced in our life.
It's just us finding evidencethat somehow we are broken or we
need to be fixed somehow, whenthat is far from the actual
truth.
You just need more support inyour life, more compassion, and
(26:27):
you can get that from yourselfanytime, day or night.
Sometimes I have to take in afew deep breaths and remind
myself hey, you're safe, you'restill here.
All those things that happeneddidn't break you.
You were stronger than youthink my punks, and you got this
(26:48):
, and you have to give yourselfa goddamn hug.
Then, give yourself a goddamnhug.
Remember, you got to loveyourself first and foremost.
Now the other important part ofthis equation is how do we make
ourselves happy?
What fills our cup, if you will, what feeds your soul?
(27:17):
You may want to keep this listat work or on your fridge at
home, or even on your phone,because, if you need to pick me
up, pull out this list, becausethe world likes to deplete us,
because the world likes todeplete us, our family, our jobs
, just life.
And during the next four years,this is something you need to
do daily, and I do mean everyday for yourself.
(27:39):
Pick one of these, even if it'sjust putting on your favorite
song and dancing around youroffice like a teenager at the
club.
Give yourself that permissionto be silly and to have fun.
You're an adult, after all.
You can bust a move if you wantto.
The only person who is stoppingyou is you, okay, so let's get
(28:04):
into those questions, all right.
What cultural experiences fromwhere you lived filled your cup?
Are there like certain familyrelationships or friendships or
interactions that you love?
What social relationships doyou have that make you feel
(28:26):
amazing?
Are there any time managementstructures that make you happy?
What physical activities do youenjoy?
Are there any personal patternsyou love doing?
If you need an example, Ipersonally love doing this.
I give myself 30 minutes of bed, rotting with my cat.
(28:48):
In the morning, I write in myjournal and I always end up
asking myself what do I want tofeel that day?
What kind of personal livingenvironment do you love?
Are there any mental activitiesthat fill you up?
What stimulates that mind ofyours?
Are there any spiritualpractices that feed your soul?
(29:11):
What personal health choices doyou enjoy?
Even if it's just doing thesethings for five minutes or
making a choice each day to doone thing just for you, makes
life so much more enjoyable.
It doesn't have to be a hugecommitment here.
Even if it's just a shitty dayat work and you have to put that
(29:33):
one dance party song on there,then do it for yourself.
I sometimes do a five-minutedrawing that never gets
completed hardly ever.
It's not perfect.
It's also because of that.
It's helping me decrease myneed for perfectionism and
trying to be perfect all thetime.
It's going to get you out ofyour head and into your body and
(29:57):
the world just kind of slipsaway, even for just that moment.
But wow, what a great moment.
So now you're probably askingyourself great, what do I do
with all this?
Take a look at your list andask yourself what is it that I
want to keep Because it reallydoes speak to me, and what is it
(30:22):
that I need to let go ofBecause it never spoke to me?
And then start making sure youractions and your words follow
that belief and remember to keepa copy of your finding joy list
, either at work or on yourphone, or at your fridge at home
.
If you're having a bad day,take some time for yourself and
do one just for you.
(30:42):
I love and adore you, my littlepunks.
Like I said, these questionswill be on our social media, on
Blue Sky and Facebook, and lateron it'll be on Insta, but that
one might take me a little bitlonger, so bear with me as I
figure all this out.
Plus, you may want to keep anotebook or a journal with all
(31:04):
this in so you can referencethese things as it comes up Now.
Next episode all this in so youcan reference these things as
it comes up Now.
Next episode we're going totalk about how and when we
assume it makes an ass out ofyou and me, how we take things
way too personally, how we oftenmisinterpret things, and also
(31:26):
we're going to see how we reactto situations.
Or are we responding tosituations?
Because those, my friends, aretwo separate things.
You totally kicked ass my punks.
And remember to be kind toothers, but also be kind to
yourself, and I will see younext time.
(31:48):
So keep it real and keep itpunk.
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